And All The Mornings Ever After
by Liv Wilder
Summary: "So…" whispered Kate, a slight smile curving her lips and threatening to break wide open like the sun bursting free of a cloud, "you wanna talk about it?" she asked tentatively, looking up at him from beneath dark lashes. How the story might continue post-Always. The morning after...well, in my little world... If you find Ch1 a little OTT it does get better. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1 Open Your Eyes

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: I was so struck by Castle's bruised, stunned, aroused, overwhelmed expression as Kate took his hand and led him towards his bedroom at the end of 'Always' that I felt the need to explore their morning after. Spoilers for Season 5, as if I know anything!_

_WINNER of the 12th's Fan Fiction Award for Best Novel (50K+ words)_

* * *

_**And All The Mornings Ever After**_

_**Chapter 1 - Open Your Eyes**_

"So…" whispered Kate, a slight smile curving her lips and threatening to break wide open like the sun bursting free of a cloud, "you wanna talk about it?" she asked tentatively, looking up at him from beneath dark lashes.

The bedroom was still in semi-darkness and she had absolutely no idea what time it was. Kate hadn't even had a chance to get a good look around. After her desperate arrival at his loft the night before, when one more minute without him had seemed simply inconceivable, they'd ricocheted around his sumptuous, masculine space, guided by occasional flashes of lightening that burned as bright as phosphorous, while they tore at each other's clothes, lips and teeth burning a trail across love-starved skin as they fought to break free from their stilted past.

But none of that mattered this morning – their fractured history, the lost time - because right now her world had shrunk to _this_ bed and _this man_, lying real and whole and warm beneath her. Now she had everything.

"Rick?" she prompted, laying her chin on her hands as she rested against his stomach, her naked body stretched out against the length of him, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

Castle laid still. Kate Beckett was in his bed…and she was offering to _talk, _wanted to have an_ actual _conversation about last night, about _them_? The world had just tilted on its axis, surely?

Kate had woken to a fluttering excitement in her chest and stomach, a tingling, aching, wonderful, thrilling need that pulsed through her body all the way from her toes to her fingertips. She'd never felt so happy, so alive, so desperate to face the day and just talk and talk and plan. She felt dizzy with the scale of it, like the future had just cracked wide open in front of her, a long, amazing road stretched out into the distance for her to travel with Castle by her side. And she had so much to tell him that she needed to start right now. She was bursting with it. The joy.

"Rick," she whispered again, nudging his ribs with her nose as she pressed her lips against his sternum. He stirred a little when she flexed her fingers wickedly against his side, teasing him awake with the light scrape of her nails over his soft, vulnerable skin.

His eyes were still closed, but he opened them at the sound of his name, and when he did, the fear she saw there stalled everything, and almost broke her heart in two. There were tears in his eyes, and when he squeezed them closed again the hot, salty liquid escaped, and ran down the side of his face to soak into the dark, richness of his rust-colored pillowcase.

_Oh! Oh, no._ _No. No._

"Castle?" said Kate, pulling herself further up the bed and then curling round to cradle his head and shoulders against her chest, wrapping him up in the warmth of her body, the shelter of her arms. "Shhh," she whispered as she rocked him from side-to-side.

A sob finally escaped his lips, and he was mortified, had never been more ashamed or felt less of a man in his life. But when he hazarded a glance at Kate through tear-studded lashes, the broken open, ripped apart, grief-stricken look on her face said it all. She understood; she got this better than anyone - his fear that last night was some kind of cruel aberration, that today she was going to get up from his bed and walk out that door and act like none of this had happened, like none of it mattered. He was terrified that she was going to run from him, that she was going to shut back down again, cutting him out of her life, holding him at arm's length. If she did any of those things he wasn't sure he could cope. Not anymore. Not after he'd had a taste of this, of how good they could be.

"Castle, talk to me," she said finally, when the tears had stopped rolling down his face and hers. "What are you afraid of?"

He shook his head, too choked up to speak. He wanted their morning after to be so special, full of the best that they were together; the teasing, the flirting, and judging by last night's performance, the hottest sex he'd ever had, followed by the most profound, tender love-making his romantic, hopeful soul was ever likely to experience.

But now there was this – lying here in Kate's arms weeping like a baby because he was overwhelmed and desperate and never wanted to let her go again. 'Jeez, Rick, pull it together', he silently chided himself, swiping angrily at another tear.

"I'm sorry," he managed to choke out finally, clearing his throat which was painfully constricted from the effort of trying and failing to hold it all in, to keep it from her.

But this was Kate Beckett, and no one knew him better than her, so he shouldn't be hiding this. He had to share. He owed her that after the verbal chastisements he'd put her through, the criticism he'd leveled at her for failing to face the truth, for not wanting to talk, for holding back.

"Don't be sorry," she whispered tenderly, ghosting her lips across his forehead, down his temple until she pressed them firmly against his hair, inhaling the scent of him, completely unashamed that he could see what she was doing, how she needed to absorb him.

"All a little overwhelming, I know," she said with understanding, holding him closer, giving him back some of the support he'd given her these past four years.

"Anything you want to ask me?" she offered, when silence stretched out again, punctuated only by their quiet breathing.

Castle drew a shaky breath, and slid his hands up to clasp the slender arms she had wrapped around him, weaving them even closer together, anchoring them to one another as if he feared they'd drift apart without it.

God, she'd messed this up, messed _him_ up.

When he didn't answer her, she dipped her head and pressed her lips to the bare skin at his shoulder, feeling him shiver under her touch and then relax against her.

He had fought for her yesterday at her apartment with so much honesty and heart and passion.

Now it was her turn.

"Thank you, Castle," she breathed, her eyes closed. "For all the things you've done for us…for me. All the things I did and didn't notice. All the ways you cared for me that I ignored or hid from because I was too scared to let you in. I owe you _so_ much."

He let out a long shaky breath at her words, and then gulped in a little air, teetering on the edge of losing it again.

Kate stroked his hair, drawing her fingers through the soft, luxurious thickness of it, soothing him with her touch.

"You know, all of this…last night, it might have come as a shock to you, but not to me. I was ready, Rick, have _been_ ready. There just never seemed to be the right moment…the right moment to tell you how I felt. But I've been sure for a long time," she said, her voice coming out good and strong. "And then hanging off that ledge, my greatest fear wasn't falling or dying. Not anymore. No, my greatest fear was never having any moments left to tell you, perfect or not…running out of time to say, to share with you…that I…that I feel the same. That I love you, Castle. That I love you so fiercely there were times I thought it might break me in two," she said, her voice catching on the last word, "watching you almost walk away."

Castle stirred in her arms, but she held him still, silenced him with a light touch to his lips. She needed to get this out to make him understand, to make it better.

"You've been woven round my heart for so long that you're a part of me now, and it made me careless, Castle. I'm so sorry. I took you for granted. Abused you like I abused myself. Well, not anymore. Starting today we are _more_ than partners, if…" she paused, suddenly uncertain.

"If…?" he asked, terrified of what came next, just waiting for that other shoe to drop.

"If you'll have me?" she asked, light and tentative and just a little unsure.

"Oh god, Kate. _Have_ you?" he asked, his voice cracking with relief. "You're really asking me _that_?"

"Yes, I guess I am. Because I just kinda barged my way in her last night and assumed…but you…"

He flipped them over in bed, looming over a startled Kate as her head settled back against his pillow cradled in the palm of his hand.

"Kate I meant every word I said in your apartment. Four years of longing and loving you and daring to hope you might feel the same way, _someday_…" he said, staring earnestly into her eyes.

"Someday is here, Castle," she said, sitting up a little to nudge his nose with her own, before brushing her lips across his as she lovingly held his head in her hands. "No more waiting. No more wondering. Just you and me…always," she added, smiling against his mouth.

"Can I still bring you coffee every morning just to see you smile?" he asked, his face lit up with joy now as he reverently traced the curve of her neck, her shoulder, the planes of her face with his fingertips, the touch of humor easing the moment, bringing him back to himself.

"Might have to be coffee in bed, but sure, I'll still smile for you, Castle," she teased, tugging him down on top of her and winding one long leg behind his thigh as she shimmed beneath him, reveling in the solid weigh of his body pressed up against hers.

"What do you think Gates will say?" he asked, when they came up for air.

"Hmmm," hummed Kate, toying with his ear, while she lazily kissed the side of his mouth. "Not our problem anymore."

Castle pulled back a little to look into her eyes, his brow knitting together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I resigned yesterday," she said simply, pulling him back down on top of her and silencing him with her insistent, mind-blowing mouth.

"Wait, Kate. _What_? You _what_?" he asked, pulling back and struggling up onto his elbows.

"I resigned. It's no big deal," she said lightly.

"The _hell_ it is. You _love_ that job," he said fiercely.

"I may have loved that job at one time. But look what it was doing to me, Castle. Look what it nearly did to us," she said, sitting up in bed so they could talk this through properly. So she could make him understand.

"That job brought us together, Kate. If it wasn't for that job there would be no you and me, no coffees, no smiles, no _always_," he croaked.

"So it served its purpose," said Kate calmly. "We found each other, and now that part is over. We move on. Together."

"But…" he said, a little exasperated at how calm she was being, as he ran a hand through his hair.

"But?" she prompted gently, ducking down to look into his eyes with such tenderness it threatened to overwhelm him all over again. "We'll figure this out, Rick. There are other things I can do…I'm sure," she said, sounding a little less certain. "You always said I'd make a great stripper," she joked, trying to keep things light, pushing him playfully in the chest.

"Kate, that job was a part of you. A part of _who you are_."

"And now it's time to see who I am without it. To see who I am without the crusade that brought me to police work in the first place. You said it yourself once, that I crawled inside my mom's murder and I hid there. Well, I'm not hiding anymore, and I want you with me when I find out who I really am. I want you there, Castle, so that we can make each other happy instead of miserable. I want to experience life with you, to _build_ a life with you, not just exist amongst death and destruction, fighting our way through every day."

"Are you sure? You don't have to decide right away."

"As I've ever been about anything," she assured him, smiling gently. "You know, I was wrong when I told you yesterday that my mom's case was the most important thing in my life. _So wrong_. And it took for me to almost die before I realized how deluded I'd become, how blinkered, how selfish. Because _you_ are the most important thing in my life, Richard Castle. You guided me back to life. You have shown me that there is a better way to live. That fun and laughter and the love of family is a good, good thing. You saved me, Castle. And I don't want to waste another minute."

Her eyes were clear, earnest even, her gaze unwavering, not one flicker of doubt or reluctance present.

"Tell me that you love me?" she asked, the question sounding tentative after her strong, determined speech.

"Oh Kate, of course I love you. I will always love you," he said fiercely.

"Then I have everything I need right here. We have each other, Castle, and that's all that matters," reassured Kate, sounding more certain than he'd ever heard her before.

"Now how about you show me just how much you love me, huh? 'Cause I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms," she said with a wicked grin, tightening her arms around his back while her tongue did wicked things to his ear, and her hips rose to meet his with a grinding heat that had him pressing her down into the mattress with an overwhelming desperation.

And if all their mornings began like this one, he'd die a very happy man.

_Reviews would make my day. Might even make me write another chapter… ;)_


	2. Chapter 2 Swim With Me

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: Wow! This got a great response – thank you so much - and a lot of requests to continue. So how could I not…_

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 2 – Swim With Me_**

"Castle," hissed Kate, rocking her partner gently by the shoulder.

"Whasssa," he muttered incoherently, rolling away from her across the enormous bed and tugging the sheet with him.

Kate watched him with an indulgent smile on her face. God how she loved this guy, felt like it was just leaking out of her; her too bright eyes, her stupid smile, just coming out of every pore whether she wanted to show it or not.

If the boys could see her now… But no. She screeched to a mental halt. Not now. That was a thought for later. Much later.

First there was this. Castle. Castle and Kate, making a go of things, driving one another crazy, still in bed at… What the hell? She caught sight of his digital alarm.

"Castle," said Kate, draping her body over him this time, her stomach pressed up against his back, her breasts at his shoulder, fingers touching his neck, brushing his jaw, her breath tickling his ear, determined to get him to waken up.

They'd talked a little in the early hours, and he had cried. _Cried!_ Kate felt terrible. How she'd damaged him, nearly lost him. But then she'd found the words she needed to help him see that she was serious about this, about them. To reassure him that she knew what she wanted, and that was him. To help him begin to trust her again.

Dr. Burke would be so proud.

After that, they'd made love for what seemed like hours. Her skin ablaze under his touch, every nerve over-stimulated as he trailed his fingers, nails, tongue, lips, even his eyelashes across the curves, dips and smooth planes of her body. It was as if he were mapping her, charting a new found land, territory he was laying claim to.

Kate ached in places she'd never ached before, and that was after sleeping for god knows how long afterwards. She'd fallen into a sleep so dead and deep that no dreams had flirted with her subconscious, only dark, blank, solid rest. Her best sleep in god knows how long. But light was leaking under his heavy drapes and after catching sight of that clock she now knew why.

So she pushed her stomach up against him again, nudging him with her hips, the heat coming off them in waves as she nibbled at his ear with her teeth.

* * *

"Rick. Wake up. We really should get up. It's after eleven," she whispered.

"Mmmm," he moaned softly, tugging her arm across his chest to pull her even closer to him.

Kate paused for a second, feeling guilty already for saying no to him, for pulling away.

"Come on. Wakey wakey, Castle. We've been in here for hours, sleepyhead."

Nothing. Not even a groan.

Kate rolled her eyes. She had no idea sex would make him this sleepy. So much to learn, and yet so much she already knew about him.

Time to put some of that knowledge to good use then.

"Castle, I'm starving. You have to feed me," she whispered, waiting for the inevitable reaction.

Within seconds he had rolled onto his back, dislodging Kate the Koala as he did so. She slipped back onto the pillow beside him.

"So my gentle attempts to waken you were a waste of time, Castle? Food really is the only thing that works," teased Kate. "I might have known," she said smugly.

"_No_," he huffed, his voice rough and snuffly as he fought to open his puffy eyes. "You make it sound like I'm driven by my stomach," he complained.

"Well aren't you?" asked Kate, amused, sliding the sheet down to press a delicate kiss to his aforementioned stomach, just above his navel.

"No. I'm driven by you," he said quietly, his achingly honest words framed clearly by the silence of the bedroom. "Or haven't you worked that out yet, Kate? And I thought you were so smart," he added, attempting to lighten things for her just a little in case his words were too much.

Kate stilled, her lips just brushing the warm skin of his abdomen. How had she…no, _why_ had she fended this off for so long? Stupid woman. When he loved her this much. When she felt exactly the same.

* * *

Castle's hand settled on her back and she winced in pain, sucking in a sharp breath that had him pulling back from her as if he'd just been shocked.

"Kate, what is it?" he asked, sitting up as she scrambled to her knees.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just a little sore. That's all," she lied, swallowing hard as Castle watched her, his face etched with worry and concern.

"It didn't look like nothing."

"Well, I'm telling you it is. And hey, we're up now," she said a little too brightly. "So, how about I take a shower and then…"

Kate was scooting off the side of the bed, heading quickly for the bathroom. She had a sudden urge to take a moment, get a little space, needed a time out to process the terrible parts of yesterday that were threatening to crowd back into her head along with the physical trauma of it, now that she had Castle.

Now that she was sure he was hers, her body was letting go.

* * *

But before she could close the bathroom door behind her, Castle was pushing it back open and following her inside.

Kate turned around and backed away from him, startled. But he wasn't going to be put off.

"I might have been an emotional mess this morning, Kate. But I am going to insist on one thing," he said clearly, firmly. "No more lies and no more secrets. It's the only way. Believe me," he added, echoes of the bitter lessons learned during two failed marriages hovering over his words.

Kate blinked at him, standing her ground. She ran a hand through her hair, her fingers catching in the messy tangles that had formed overnight when it had dried against her pillow.

"So come over here and let me look at you," he said with a gentler tone, holding his hand out to her. "Or I'm calling Dr. Pulaski."

"Who's he?" asked Kate, suddenly curious, but still unwilling to move any closer.

"_She_ was Alexis' Pediatrician," he replied, with one hand on his hip, trying to look serious and commanding, but failing miserably as he stood there in all his naked glory; his hair messy, sleep rumpled, with the pattern of the sheets pressed into his flushed cheek.

"I'm not a child, Castle," said Kate wearily, a faint echo of yesterday's fight coming back to haunt them both.

"Then don't behave like one. Come over here," he ordered, holding his hand out to her again, trying to focus on how hurt he suspected she was, instead of the glorious novelty of watching her frown at him while standing naked in his bathroom.

* * *

She forced her legs to move, suddenly feeling the ache that scorched almost every part of her as she shuffled towards him. Pain licked at her back like a live flame, burning her skin and working its way deeper, into her muscles. It was as if sharing this with him, exposing her vulnerability to him, had stripped away her composure, washed the endorphins her body had been using to self-medicate right out of her veins. Her tightly wound control, her deep denial that there was anything wrong, had just snapped and begun to unravel.

As she neared him she sucked in an agonizing breath, clutching at Castle's arms as he rushed forward to catch her before she collapsed.

They ended up on the floor, leaning against his tub, the smooth tiles cool beneath her feet. Castle cradled her in his lap as tears of pain, frustration, and humiliation rolled silently down her cheeks.

"What did that bastard do to you, Kate?" he asked, tipping her gently forward so that he could assess the worst of the damage.

Seeing her now, in the daylight… Oh dear god. He sucked in a sharp breath.

Her spine was picked out in livid purple, the individual vertebrae clearly visible as if they'd been highlighted in crayon. The skin was actually broken open around C5 or 6, where she'd repeatedly hit the ground so hard that bloody scuffmarks had been left on the inside of her shirt.

She had bluish finger marks around her neck from when Cole Maddox lifted her to her feet with his hands wound around her neck. She'd fought back with everything she had, but he'd seemed impervious to every strike and move she had made. The blows just bounced off him as he waited her out, and then ploughed on with his attack.

Her shoulder blades were scraped, the bruising below the skin already turning from a red-blue color to a dark shade of green. Castle skimmed the area with his fingertips and Kate hissed, shrinking away from his touch.

"Kate, I'm so sorry," he said, not meaning the pain his touch had just caused her, but for not being there to prevent this. For not having her back. For leaving her to deal with it alone.

"Not your fault," she grit through clenched teeth, grasping at his fingers and squeezing tight. "Not your fault. You warned me, Castle. And I didn't listen. I'm the one who should be saying sorry," she whispered, her voice catching in her throat as fresh set of tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Hey," he said, pressing a light kiss to her shoulder, one of the few places he could see was undamaged. "You're here, Kate. You came and found me, love. That's all that matters."

She relaxed at his kind, selfless words, at his swift, easy forgiveness. He could teach her so much, this man. This good, kind, patient man.

"Let's get you patched up, okay?" he said, bringing his hands to her elbows. "You good to stand?"

"Think so," said Kate.

"Okay, then on three," he said, helping her to her feet so that they rose together.

* * *

Once they were standing, he turned her carefully around, examining her front for more bruising or swelling.

Her stomach had a really doozy, just under her ribs, where Maddox had kneed her in the abdomen and then cracked her on the back of the neck with the heel of his hand, felling her to the ground once more. She almost doubled over at the memory of it - the searing pain, the burning in her chest as she fought to get her breath back, and the calm, amused smile on his face...

How had she forgotten that until now?

Castle was staring at her, watching her cycle through the film reel of memories that were passing like dark shadows behind her eyes.

"What is it, Kate? What are you thinking?"

"I just…"

Don't lie to him, Kate. Start as you mean to go on. He deserves that much. He actually deserves everything you've got, so tell him…

"He was smiling the whole time," she confessed. "Like he was enjoying it. As if it was just a sparring session to him."

She looked up into Castle's eyes, making sure he could see that she was giving him everything, sharing it all.

"He tossed me around like I was nothing. As if I was a ragdoll, Castle. And then he threw me over the side of the building and he left me there, hanging by my fingernails."

She looked down at her hands, flexed the small, distal joints of her fingers, wincing at the stiffness and the swelling. Even her nails were painful to touch. Several of them were ragged and chipped from scrabbling to hold on.

Castle reach out for her and she let him come. Let him gather her gently into his arms, marveling at the care this large man could put into the most tender of embraces.

"I'm running you a bath," he said finally, when she felt his breathing return to normal and the tears stopped falling onto her back.

He swiped at his face with the back of his hand and moved her over to the toilet, laying a towel on the seat to pad her rear.

"You think of everything. Thank you," she said smiling weakly, snagging his hand in gratitude before he moved across the room to open the faucet.

"Thank you for letting me in, Kate. For letting me take care of you. It means a lot," he said honestly, looking back over his shoulder at her as he added a little tea tree oil to the bubbling water.

Kate nearly choked. More tears rushed to the surface, filling her eyes to the brim.

"Hey," he said, hurrying back over to her, kneeling down on the tiles so he could catch her chin in his hand and look into her eyes.

"What…? Did I say something? I'm sorry," he stumbled, confused, his eyes searching her face.

"You…you," sobbed Kate, hiccuping on her words. "I don't deserve you," she finally pushed out.

"Oh, there," he soothed. "I don't want to hear nonsense like that from you again, do you hear?" he asked gently. "Partners, remember?" he added, trying to kid her out of the grief and guilt he could see written across her face as he squeezed her knee.

Kate let out a little laugh, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and holding it there as his thumb swept the tears from her cheeks. She turned her head slightly and pressed her lips to his palm.

"_More_ than partners, Castle," she reminded him. "Or have you forgotten already?"

The teasing smile that lit up her face was the best medicine he could have hoped for.

"Not gonna forget that for a very long time, Kate. If ever."

* * *

He stared at her then for the longest time, just drinking in the sight of her – tired, battered and bruised, but more alive than he'd dared hope she'd be this time yesterday, and more beautiful than he'd ever seen her.

"You're staring," she told him, a lovesick grin on her face.

"So are you," he pointed out, smiling right back.

"Bath's about to overflow."

"Plenty deep for both of us then."

"So take me swimming, Castle," said Kate, holding out her hands to him, her eyes sparkling with love.

_Your reviews really let me know if this is on the right track. More mileage to travel if you're still game?_


	3. Chapter 3 There's A List?

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: Things get little lighter in this chapter._

* * *

_**And All The Mornings Ever After**_

_**Chapter 3 – There's A List?**_

"Easy. Easy. Easy," said Castle, coaxing Kate gradually over the side.

She stopped moving to glare at him, one eyebrow raised in a red flag warning.

He looked back at her with patient, unwavering eyes and Kate caved.

"Who're you calling _easy_, Castle?" she quipped, the tension draining out of her face at the look of concern on his. "I resisted you for _four years_. I'd hardly call that easy."

Castle laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking, eyes crinkling shut at her words as he clutched her hands.

The sound appeared joyful and delighted to Kate's ears, putting an adjoining smile on her face too. She realized right then that she loved their silliness almost as much his earnest love for her.

* * *

Castle had stepped into the bath first, taking care not to slosh too much water out onto the tiles. He held out his hands for Kate, and, after this teasing exchange, she had stepped over the side, sliding gingerly down below the waterline to sit between his legs, her injured muscles protesting all the while.

She hissed as the heat swallowed her up, stinging her broken and battered skin, before it settled down to a manageable ache, and she was slowly able to lean back against him.

The room went silent, apart from the intermittent, on-off click of the air conditioning.

Suddenly Castle had no idea where to put his hands. He felt awkward and out of his depth. Here he was, sitting naked in his bathtub with Kate Beckett, and he found himself entirely unprepared for the moment. Because all the fantasizing in the world was no match for the ache that had set up camp in his chest this morning now that Kate was finally here with him; real and wanting and willing to share.

Deciding to take the lead from her, he cleared his throat and tried for a little levity.

"Does…does this feel weird to you?" he asked, resting his hands either side of the tub, knuckles going white as he gripped the sides anxiously waiting for her reply.

"Yeah," Kate laughed easily, letting her head loll back against his shoulder as her hair fanned out on the surface of the water.

_Holy shit!_

"A little. But good weird," she added, gently taking hold of his hands and wrapping them across her body so that he was holding her back against him in a light embrace as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

They were actually _cuddling_, if he wasn't mistaken.

Castle felt a surge of affection flare in his chest at this simple act, and a lump formed in his throat at this further demonstration from her of '_I just want you'_.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?" he blurted, the question just flying out of him, his lips close to her ear, arms and legs now wrapped around her.

Kate laughed again, the easy, relaxed sound bubbling free.

"Around three a.m., I think it was. And then again at five when you…"

She was smiling, teasing him, he could feel it, and it was just so good to be able to do that after everything.

"Okay, so I'm a sap. Arrest me, Detective," he laughed, low and happy in her ear, holding her close.

Kate chose to ignore the 'Detective' remark for now. They would talk about it. She knew he'd want to. Just not today.

"You're not a sap, Castle. You're a hopeless romantic. There's a difference," Kate informed him, sliding her foot up and down his calf muscle in a very distracting manner.

The room grew quiet again. Steam rose in little puffs from the surface of the bathwater, and then swirled away to nothing when a cool draft of a/c caught it.

Kate cleared her throat.

"_And_…I should really tell you, before we go any further," she said, shyly biting her lip, "that I love that you're so romantic, Castle. So please, don't ever stop," she told him bravely.

Castle swallowed. _Wow_! She'd really taken his '_no more secrets'_ thing to heart evidently.

"You have my word," he promised graciously, not wanting to go overboard.

Baby steps for now.

What he had really wanted to do, if he was honest, when Kate had been sitting weeping on the toilet earlier, was just to get down on one knee and beg her to let him put the biggest diamond Tiffany had to offer on her finger, and then make her promise they'd never spend another night apart. Third time's a charm, she'd said. Couldn't argue with that.

But he had resisted. Somehow.

If he'd learnt anything about this wonderful, complex woman over the last four years, it was that pushing her would only drive her further away. And right now, he needed her as close as he could get her.

So wrapped up in his arms, her body pressed up against him as they lay together in his bathtub, was a pretty good compromise he reckoned.

* * *

Too soon, oh yes, _way_ too soon for Kate's liking, the water began to cool.

Castle stirred behind her.

"Want me to help you…uh…_wash_ anything?" he asked hesitantly, covering his face with his hands when he heard the words out loud.

Kate's laughter tinkled out across the bathroom, echoing in the large, tiled space.

"That come out dirtier than you intended?" she asked him, turning round to prize his hands off his rather pink face.

"Yeah, _way_ dirtier," he groaned, burying his face in her neck.

"Help me wash my hair?" she asked, taking pity on him. "I'm not sure I can lift my arms."

"Be my pleasure," he said, smiling sincerely. "Actually, that's one of my top five fantasies involving you, me, and water, but…"

"You have a top five for _water_ _alone_?" interrupted Kate, sounding amused and surprised.

"Oh yeah," he nodded enthusiastically. "Water, then there's the actual _ocean_, oh…and a swimming pool, the beach, your car, the break room and the Precinct, back row of the movies…"

"Cliché," snorted Kate. "Go on."

"Your kitchen, _my_ kitchen, your bed, we can cross off _my_ bed of course…"

Kate interrupted him again.

"We had _one night_ in your bed," she pointed out.

"Yeah?"

"And after _one night_ you're out of ideas as to what we might get up to in there?" she asked, sounding a little incredulous. "Have you _seen_ the size of it?"

"Well, yeah, I…"

"_No_," said Kate resolutely, shaking her head. "_Your_ bed stays on the list."

Castle grinned like an idiot behind her. _Old_ Kate would have twisted his ear at the very mention of a list. _His_ Kate was adding things back _onto_ the list. _Awesome!_

"_So_…are you washing my hair or do I have to attempt it myself?" she asked a little shyly, wholly unused to asking for his help, and yet unable to keep the smile out of her voice.

* * *

Once she'd showered off and Castle had helped her over the side of the tub, he wrapped her up in a large, warm, fluffy towel, patting her bruised body gently dry.

He got a First Aid kit out of the cabinet, and applied a little Arnica to her bruises, wincing every time Kate winced, until she laughed so hard she thought she'd cracked a rib.

Then he magicked up a manicure set out of a drawer so that he could trim and file her damaged nails, struggling to keep her still as she continued to fidget throughout.

"Settle down, you," he said, laughing with her, amazed by this giggly version of Kate. "I think someone's getting a little hysterical. You ready for some food?" he asked, now attempting to untangle her hair with a comb. "Because I'm starving."

"Yeah," Kate laughed, as her stomach rumbled loudly, "you could say that."

"Okay. Then let me go find you something to wear," he suggested, leading her over to the toilet to sit down again. "And then I'll make us something."

"I'm not an invalid, Castle," she grumbled.

"No, you're not. But that water was hot, and you haven't eaten since god knows when, and I'm not having you pass out while I'm out of the room."

"Fine," huffed Kate, settling down to wait for him.

She idly glanced around his bathroom while he rummaged around out his closet, checking out the array of masculine products lining the glass shelves over his vanity unit.

No sign of a single perfume bottle, nail varnish, or stray lipstick. So that was a good sign.

* * *

Castle skidded back through the door five minutes later wearing a pair of navy sweats, a grey tee shirt and white sports socks. He was carrying a small bundle of clothes for Kate, which he duly presented to her.

"These should more or less fit," he said, as Kate looked up at him for an explanation. "Mother," he replied, to her unasked question.

"Your mother wears _these_?" asked Kate, eyeing up the sports wear that looked suspiciously similar to the outfit Castle had on.

"_No_," he laughed, laying a hand on her shoulder that had her wincing in pain and had him apologizing profusely as he tried to imagine Martha in sweats. The vision wasn't pretty.

"No, my mother's not so good at doing laundry. She shrinks things," he explained. "I had this gorgeous purple cashmere sweater once…" he said, his eyes taking on a wistful, faraway quality. "I think Alexis used it as a sweater-dress for one of her dolls once Martha got through boil washing it."

"Oh god," Kate snorted, hugging the soft bundle of Castle's clothes to her chest, the warm smell of detergent and softer so comforting and so achingly familiar. So him. "Good old Martha."

"Yeah. I haven't figured out if she does it on purpose to get out of doing chores. Just like her cooking is disgusting, she can't stack a dishwasher, and don't get me started on her ironing technique…"

"There's a technique?" gasped Kate. "Oh do tell?" she teased, balancing her hands on his shoulders as he helped her climb into a pair of his boxers, followed by slightly smaller navy sweats and…a grey tee.

Kate looked at the pair of them in the mirror.

"Castle, look at us," she said, turning him gently by the shoulders.

"We look like we're trying out for the Teamsters," she laughed, flashing him a dazzling smile.

"Hey, those guys would be lucky to have us," he countered, leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips. "I'm not above a little _union_," he said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Your hands are too soft," moaned Kate against his warm, pliant mouth.

"You complaining, Kate?"

"No, but _they_ might."

"Screw them," he growled, and Kate laughed against his cheek.

"I'd rather you screwed…"

"Shhh, hold that thought," he whispered, giggling. "_Definitely_ hold that thought. Did you hear something?"

"Dad? Are you in there?"

Alexis' voice came drifting loud and clear through Castle's office and towards the bedroom.

"Oh my god. Alexis," said Kate, looking a little panic stricken.

"Okay. Let's just calm down. We haven't done anything wrong. We're two single adults who love…"

"Yes. Yes, I get all of that," said Kate hastily. "I'm right with you on _all_ of that. But Castle…" said Kate breathlessly, looking frankly scared, "Alexis isn't going to see it that way. She's barely gotten over the bank robbery. She thinks I'm stringing you along…"

Castle held Kate's arms, eased her back so he could look into her eyes, and tried to stop her spiraling before her panic became a full-blown episode of PTSD.

"What makes you say that?" he asked gently, stroking his hand across her cheek to soothe her.

"Lanie. She told Lanie. She's not going to be happy if she finds me in here. I'm telling you."

"Dad? Are you okay?" his daughter called again. "Are you _talking_ to yourself?" she asked, tapping on the bathroom door.

Castle took Kate's hand, squeezed it gently, and said, "It's Alexis, Kate. Everything will be fine. Trust me," he added, before opening the door on the startled eighteen year old.

_Please review? You've all been brilliant. I'm so grateful. _


	4. Chapter 4 Fathers And Daughters Part I

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: There are so many ways things could go with Alexis at the start of Season 5. This is just one interpretation. I'm sure some of you will disagree with it._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 4 – Fathers And Daughters Part I_**

"Dad, what's going on?" asked Alexis coolly, the smile dropping off her face as she stared first at her father and then at Kate.

Her eyes swept between the pair of them, standing there in Castle's bathroom holding hands, wearing almost identical clothes. Kate with her face free of make-up, bare feet, and her hair lying damp across her shoulders. Castle with a soft, delighted look on his face that Alexis only ever saw when he looked at her, or…

Her eyes tracked to the bathroom behind them. To the two damp towels lying in a heap on the floor and the over-filled tub they hadn't gotten around to emptying. She studied it like a crime scene, looking for clues, before turning her gaze back to Kate and her dad as if they were a couple of perps.

As far as Alexis was concerned, this looked like an open and shut case.

* * *

Castle gave Kate's fingers a light squeeze, and suddenly she felt like that was the only thing holding her up. A whooshing sound began in her ears, white noise, followed by a ringing. Her neck felt stiff and achy. Then her eyes started to lose focus. The lights in the bathroom became incredibly bright, before merging into one blinding halo that grew so large it filled Kate's entire field of vision.

The last thing she heard, before she lost the ability to hear altogether and passed out, were Alexis' words to her father.

"Please tell me this isn't what it looks like?" the girl challenged Castle.

Her critical, accusatory tone lodged in Kate's brain even as she slid to the floor.

* * *

Castle felt the tug on his fingers as Kate crumpled beside him and he turned away from his daughter just in time.

"Oh god, Kate. Honey, no," he called out, managing to catch hold of her before her head could hit the tiles.

He lowered her gently into his lap, cradling her head against his chest, before slowly lowering it between her knees in an attempt to increase the blood flow to her brain, all while Alexis stood on the threshold staring.

"Get me a glass of water…and…and the manuka honey from the pantry. With a spoon," he barked at Alexis, adding, "_Now. Go!_" when she hovered on the spot, still just staring impassively at Kate.

As soon as Alexis had gone, Castle gathered Kate up into his arms and headed back to the bedroom. Her head lolled against his chest, and he kissed her damp hair tenderly, murmuring soothing, reassuring words to her as they made their way into the other room.

* * *

Alexis reentered the bedroom, carrying the items Castle had asked her for, just as he was about to lower Kate onto the bed.

"Help me prop these pillows up," he said, turning to look at his daughter when there was no sign of movement.

Alexis was standing over by the door, her eyes scanning the room back and forth. Castle followed her gaze, shaking his head in frustration when he saw Kate's damp clothes strewn across the floor, tangled up with some of his.

"Alexis," he said firmly, trying to snap her out of the daze she seemed to be in. "Help me put Kate to bed."

"Looks like you already managed that. All by yourself," said the girl coldly, her tone shot through with disapproval.

"Later, Alexis," he replied, his voice low and controlled. "She needs us now. Come help me," he instructed, as Kate began to come round.

* * *

They worked together to raise some pillows up against the headboard to give them something to rest Kate against. Castle pulled up the sinfully tangled sheets to make the bed look more presentable, though there was no hiding what had gone on there.

Castle straighten out Kate's tee shirt, which had slipped off one shoulder when she fainted, and tugged the hem of her sweat pants down on each leg so that the fabric wasn't bunched up around her knees. Then he settled in beside her, one hand on the top of her bare left foot, the other resting on her thigh as he leant in against her side.

She moaned when his fingers brushed a lock of damp hair off her forehead, turning her head instinctively to lean into the warmth of his hand, and then her eyes flickered open, wincing closed again when the light streaming through the windows struck her retinas.

"Hey, welcome back. You gave me quite a scare," said Castle gently. "How about some water, Kate? I think you're probably a little dehydrated. Here's the glass. I'll hold it for you," he said softly, placing it against her lips and tipping it up to enable her to drink. "Told you that bathwater was hot," he said smiling, and Kate smiled weakly back at him.

Alexis stood on the sidelines rolling her eyes at Castle's tender tone.

"Your blood sugar must be low too. I've got some honey here. Mainline a little natural sugar, and then I'll make you something to eat," he promised, uncapping the jar and spooning out a serving.

A trail of fragrant honey dangled midair like a silk thread until Castle caught it with his finger and licked it clean away.

When he turned to hold the spoon out to Kate she was staring at his mouth through darkened eyes, looking transfixed, and hungry for more than food.

"Okay. Looking better already I see," observed Castle with amusement.

Kate shifted her gaze swiftly back up to his face, her color improving steadily with the beginnings of a blush.

He'd caught her staring at him, naked desire written over her face, and he looked so damn proud and thrilled that Kate resolved to show him as often, and in as many ways as possible, that this was for real. That he was it for her.

But first, there was Alexis. And Kate could tell that things were going to be as difficult as she feared, if not more so.

* * *

"How does an omelet sound?" asked Castle, laying his hand on top of Kate's. "You can have whatever filling you'd like."

"Dad, I thought _we_ were having lunch together?" came Alexis' clear, almost petulant voice from the end of the bed.

Castle had forgotten she was even standing there, and when he swiveled round to look at her, Alexis could see from her father's expression that that was indeed the case.

"Sweetie, Kate's not feeling well. We can do lunch another…"

"No!" interrupted Kate, her voice clear, her tone sharp as she struggled to sit up in bed.

Castle and Alexis both turned to stare at her.

"I'll be fine once I eat something," she added a little more softly. "Please, go and have your lunch. I can go home. Castle, you can call me later," she said in one great, hasty rush, squirming out from his grasp and swinging her feet to the floor.

She wobbled a little as she tried to stand, her head throbbing thickly. Castle reached out to steady her, before she finally had to admit defeat, and sank back down onto the edge of the mattress.

"Kate, you're going no where. You're hurt, you're exhausted, and clearly in no fit state to be on your own."

These were the careful words he managed to get out, though there was so much more he didn't say running round inside his head. Like 'I only just found you', and 'I'm not letting you go until I know this is for real'. 'Let me love you', and the more desperate, 'please don't leave me, Kate'.

Whether it was his tone, or just the facts of the matter, Kate sighed and dipped her head in a nod of acceptance.

"Fine. I'll stay until I feel better. But then I'm leaving you two alone," she argued, hazarding a glance at Alexis.

But the girl wouldn't meet her eye.

"Rest here for a bit," said Castle, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Alexis looked away, and then turned on her heel and left the room altogether.

* * *

Kate took his hand.

"I told you this was going to be rough."

"I really had no idea," said Castle, looking over his shoulder at his daughter's retreating back. "How could I not know this?" he added, sounding mystified.

"Sometimes we only see and hear what we want to hear, Rick," said Kate gently. "I'm sure she'll come round…in time."

"This doesn't…I mean you're not…" he stumbled, wanting to ask but afraid of her response.

"What? Put off?" asked Kate, a tender smile on her lips and in her eyes as she reached out to graze his jaw with her fingertips.

"Well…yeah."

"Castle, I love you," she said with simple heartbreaking sincerity. "Tigers, assassins, freezers, snipers, bombs…we've been through all of that together. I'm not going to let your beautiful, intelligent daughter scare me away, when I know she's only resisting this because she loves you too."

There were tears of pride and gratitude in his eyes when he answered her.

"She'll come round," he said, with more hope than conviction. "When she sees how much you love me…oh Kate," he said, his voice breaking on her name as he reached out to put his arms around her, hugging her against his chest, and burying his face in the warmth of her neck.

It felt so good to say that and for it to be true.

They held one another for a minute or so, and then Kate gently withdrew from his embrace.

"I could really murder that omelet right about now," she confessed, with a smile. "Maybe with some cheese?" she asked hopefully.

"One homicidal omelet coming up, Detective," joked Castle, falling into their old style banter, the fact of Kate's resignation still not fully registering with him.

Kate let it go again. He had more important things to deal with right now, and if she didn't eat soon, they might have to hook her up to an IV.

Castle took one final long look at her before he left the room.

"I'll be right back," he said, drinking in the wonderful sight of her propped up in his bed. A sight he had feared he'd never get to see.

"Not going anywhere, Castle," replied Kate with conviction, her eyes softly holding his, as she tried to begin mending his fearful heart.

_A/N: This seemed like a natural point to pause, before we move onto Castle and Alexis having 'the talk'. I'll try hard to get that up later today, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews so far. _


	5. Chapter 5 Fathers And Daughters Part 2

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: So now we have the talk between Alexis and her dad. Yikes! Duck and cover, drop and roll._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

_**Chapter 5 – Fathers And Daughters Part II**_

Castle found Alexis in the kitchen, sitting at the counter. She was playing with her phone, flicking through a slideshow of photographs from the graduation party she'd been at all night.

"Get some good shots?" he asked, coming to stand close to her shoulder so he could look at them with her.

Although she didn't exactly snatch the phone away from him, the end result was the same. Because she closed down the screen, and then laid it face down on the countertop.

Castle sighed. He wasn't used to much in the way of friction or disagreement between himself and his daughter. They got along really well most of the time, and lately, when there had been any issues to work through, he'd taken to asking Kate's advice as a former teenage girl herself, and all round sensible female adult. Someone he trusted implicitly to have Alexis' best interests at heart.

But this time the problem _was_ Kate, so that option was kind of limited. This time it was down to Castle to solve his parenting problems for himself.

But first, food.

* * *

"I'm making Kate an omelet, pumpkin. You want one?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light, choosing to ignore the disapproving remarks Alexis had just made in front of Kate.

"I'm not hungry," was her predictable response.

Determined not to reward petulant behavior – it had worked when she was a toddler, so why not now – he breezed on about his business, opening the refrigerator, taking out the eggs and cheese, a stick of butter, a carton of fruit juice and a bottle of water.

He laid all the items on the counter opposite Alexis and began to cook.

"So tell me about your night?" he asked, as he cracked two eggs into a glass bowl and set about whisking them.

"I'd rather hear about yours," was Alexis' sullen reply.

Okay. So this wasn't going to be easy. Deep breath.

Castle cracked some black pepper and sea salt into the bowl and whisked some more.

"_So_? Who blinked first, you or her?" asked Alexis, pushing the discussion as far as she'd ever dared with her obvious disapproval.

Castle stared at his daughter, not quite recognizing her with the bitter sarcasm coating her young voice, and hating it even more.

"It wasn't like that," he replied calmly, grating cheese for Kate's omelet with more vigor than required.

A lump broke off in his hand and he grazed a knuckle against the grater in the process, drawing blood.

"_Shit!_" he growled, sucking at his finger as Alexis stared at him in surprise.

"How was it then?"

She simply wasn't letting up.

"Did she show up at the door begging, because I saw…"

"_Enough, Alexis!_" said Castle sharply, fighting to keep his voice down so that Kate wouldn't hear them.

For all her confident promises of not being put off by his daughter's disapproval, Castle still felt shaky enough about everything that this was one theory he had no interest in testing.

"It is no secret that I…that I love Kate," he said, his tone more measured, though his heart was still pounding in his chest. "She is a good woman, who has never done anything but try her best for you. I need you to respect that, Alexis."

"What about you, _dad_? She hasn't always tried her best for you though, has she?" his daughter countered, her chin jutting out defiantly in a manner he'd rarely, if ever, witnessed.

Alexis' words wounded him.

When he just wanted to rejoice in Kate's glorious admission, to wrap himself up in her love, to finally allow himself to see that he had more than just hope to help him imagine a future with her, his daughter was picking holes in his fragile confidence, spoiling his party, and in that moment, he couldn't stop himself from spoiling hers.

"When you grow up," he said, watching the young woman's face harden, her pale cheeks flush pink with the humiliation of his words as he deliberately patronized her, "you will understand that adult relationships are complex, Alexis. Kate and I…we've had our issues, yes. But we've always been partners, we've always had each other's backs…"

Alexis snorted.

"And suddenly that's _enough_ for you _now_? After all the nights you've spent here alone, mooning over her, staring into the bottom of a whiskey glass because you love her and you told her and she just doesn't love you back," spat Alexis.

* * *

They didn't hear her approach, her bare feet barely made any sound on the wooden floor, but her voice was unmistakable when she finally spoke.

"I love your dad, Alexis. I'm in love with him, and I need you to understand and accept that," said Kate, her voice strong and clear, even if her face was still paper pale, with two dark, bruise-like smudges underneath her eyes.

Castle dropped the spatula he was holding and came over to where Kate was standing on the boundary between the lounge and the kitchen.

"Kate, I'm sorry. You should be resting. You shouldn't have heard any of…"

"Shhh," said Kate gently, her eyes sparkling with love as she looked up at him. She touched a finger to his lips.

Castle smiled back at her, and then guided her over to sit on one of the stools, next to Alexis.

His daughter watched their little exchange with interest and a dawning, gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that maybe she was making a great mistake here. Maybe Kate did love her dad after all, if the way she was looking at him right now was any indication.

But Kate had taken her time getting to this point, and Alexis had had to deal with a father so badly damaged by Kate's frequent rejections that she felt indignant on his behalf. Frankly, she pitied him a little, thought he had given in far too easily.

* * *

"What's changed?" she asked boldly, swiveling in her stool to face down Kate.

Castle's head shot up and he dropped the knife he was using to cut off a little chunk of butter to season the pan he had heating on the stove.

"_Alexis!_" he said, outraged at her audacity. Before turning to Kate and adding, "Kate, you don't have to answer that."

Kate shook her head at him and smiled.

"Castle, it's okay," she said quietly, echoes of '_we already talked about this, I'm fine. I'm in control'_ from the day before in her apartment coming back to haunt him.

"Alexis has a right to know," she said, giving him a reassuring smile.

Turning to the teenager, she said, "What would you like to ask me, Alexis? Nothing is off limits. I'll answer as honestly as I can."

Alexis' face flushed again at the openness and kindness Kate was offering her, when she'd just had to listen to her behaving like a brat.

The feeling left her speechless and adrift for a moment, before she regained some of her usual composure.

"How do you know that you love my dad _now_, when he's been in…" she trailed off, looking over at her dad who looked simply mortified. "I mean, why now?" she added hesitantly.

"When I got shot, I think you're referring to, and your dad told me that he loved me?" said Kate honestly, refusing to take the easy, pretty way out of this.

Because she and Castle hadn't even talked about any of this yet. If she was getting an opportunity to rip off that Band-Aid all in one go, she would take it.

"I was very scared, as I'm sure you can imagine. Someone was trying to kill me, Alexis. That's not something I would wish on my worst enemy, and it left me weakened…mentally," she said quietly, and with enormous humility.

Alexis stared at her hands, embarrassed.

But Kate went on.

"It took me a long time to heal after that, both physically and in my head. I thought I needed to do it alone, so I hid away from everyone who cared about me. And that included your dad. I was confused, and lonely, and I see now that some of the choices I made were stupid and selfish."

She paused to look over at Castle.

"I should never have shut you out, Rick. I am so sorry," she said calmly.

Before he could react to her words, Kate turned back to face Alexis.

"Since I came back to work, I've been seeing someone."

When Alexis jerked her head up to stare at Kate, she added, "No, not like that. I mean a therapist. I've been seeing a therapist."

Alexis nodded slowly, heat still burning her cheeks, because suddenly any right she'd felt to put this woman under the microscope seemed to have evaporated, her indignant resolve along with it, in the face of such jaw-dropping honesty.

But Kate still seemed to think she owed Alexis more, and so she carried on.

"Dr. Burke has helped me to heal, and begin to accept a lot about my life and my history that I have been struggling with for years. In the course of our sessions, we talked a lot about your dad."

"You did?" asked Castle, sounding surprised to hear that.

"Yes, rather a lot," admitted Kate, smiling.

_Oh!_

"Anyway, what I need you to understand, Alexis, is that I have loved your dad for a very long time. I just haven't been in a position to share that with him before now, because I wasn't whole enough. I wouldn't have been good enough for him. Do you understand?" she asked the girl, reaching out to touch her hand.

Alexis looked down at Kate's fingers resting against her own, and then she withdrew her hand further into her lap.

To Kate's great credit, she looked unaffected by the snub, whereas Castle was almost seething on her behalf.

Kate shot him a look to keep him quiet.

"Alexis?" she prompted, ducking her head a little to look into the redhead's eyes.

"Yes, but why now?" the girl asked, still clearly not convinced.

Kate briefly wondered if Gina had had to go through as tough a vetting process as this. Though she sincerely doubted it. She took a deep breath, settling her head, and summoning up an honest answer to her question.

* * *

"Your dad and I had a fight yesterday. We often…actually, we mostly know what the other is thinking, just instinctively. So there are lots of things we don't talk about, when we probably should. Yesterday, your dad laid all his cards on the table, and I chose to do the stupid, stubborn thing, and go ahead regardless of what he was telling me."

She looked over at Castle again, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Anyway, I realized the hard way that your dad was right all along, and I was wrong. I got my priorities all muddled up, and it took for me to…"

She glanced at Castle, the words '_almost die_' forming on her lips. He looked back at her with concern, but made no move to stop her telling his daughter the truth. But Kate decided to deviate a little anyway.

"It took that for me to finally see what was important. That I love your dad, and I am _so_ grateful to have him in my life, and…" she hesitated, making sure Alexis was paying attention. "If it takes me the rest of my life to prove to him and to you just how much I love him, then I will do that. Because I know how lucky I am, Alexis, and I know how much I've put, not just him, but you and Martha through. And for that I am truly sorry."

* * *

By the time Kate had finished speaking, she looked thoroughly rung out. Her face was so pale that Castle could see the thin blue vein vividly pulsing beneath the skin of her forehead. He decided that enough was enough for now.

"Okay, Alexis. I think you'll agree that Kate has been more than forthcoming in answering your questions. But she still hasn't eaten anything, so I'm going to call a halt to this discussion for now. Okay?"

Alexis nodded slowly and silently at her dad, and then turned to look at Kate.

"I'm sorry if I was rude to you earlier," she said, still not buying into this one hundred percent, but feeling a lot better about things than she had when she'd arrived home to find Kate's clothes strewn across her dad's bedroom floor.

"It's fine, Alexis. I understand your concern. You're just looking out for your dad," said Kate, so calm and so reasonable that Castle felt a little in awe of her, at just how graceful she could be.

"Pumpkin, how about I make us all an omelet?" asked Castle, trying to get things back on some kind of even keel between them. You must be starving too."

When Alexis nodded in agreement, his face relaxed and his shoulders dropped noticeably.

"How about you tell us about your party last night, sweetie?" he suggested, just a little too brightly.

Alexis hopped down off her stool.

"Dad, I just need a minute. Okay?" she asked, her pale blue eyes watering a little as she gazed up at him. "You guys go ahead and eat," she said, smiling weakly at Kate. "I'll be back down in a bit. Promise."

And with that she turned for the stairs. Halfway across the floor she stopped and spun back around.

"Kate, thank you. Thank you for treating me like an adult," she added, before disappearing up to her bedroom.

* * *

All at once there was silence again, only Kate and Castle left facing one another over the kitchen counter.

Castle dropped what he was doing and headed around the island to Kate's side, stopping in front of her stool to wrap her up in gentle hug.

"How're you doing?" he asked, with his lips pressed against the top of her head. "You were magnificent."

"I'm tired, Castle," she mumbled against his shirt.

"Of course you are. Let's get you fed, and then we can go and take a nap. How does that sound?" he asked, rubbing his hand gently up and down her back.

"So good," muttered Kate, close to exhaustion. "How're you holding up? That was pretty rough for a while," she said, looking up into his face. "She'd make one hell of a lawyer, Castle. Don't think I've been subjected to a tougher cross."

"I think I'm still in shock. I've never seen her like that before – so defiant, and…I'm sorry about the way she…"

"Shhh, Castle," said Kate, pressing her lips against his, enjoying the warmth of his mouth, the swirl of his tongue against hers, drawing strength from it.

"I love you," she whispered against his cheek, tightening her arms around his waist as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"I love you too, Kate. So very much."

A/N: _The woman needs something to eat for Gods sake, Castle! So I've stopped it here for now so he can feed her. ;) _

_Please review? I'd love to hear what you thought of Alexis. Think there may be more to come._


	6. Chapter 6 Confessions

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 6 – Confessions_**

Castle served up their by now very late lunch and rounded the counter to sit beside Kate.

"You look whacked," he said sympathetically, stroking his hand gently down the length of her back as she slumped forward over the counter letting her eyes fall closed at his touch.

He simply couldn't describe, writer or not, how good it felt to be able to reach out to her like that, as if they'd always been this close, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"You really know how to woo a girl, Castle," she murmured, the tease evident in her voice as she turned her head to the side to smile at him.

"Eat your food and I'll show you wooing," he promised, handling her some silverware.

"Do you think she's okay up there?" asked Kate, looking over towards the stairs.

"I really don't know. I've never seen her that angry before," he confessed.

Kate began to cut up her omelet, almost moaning as the first morsel crossed her lips. She was starving and hadn't realized just how much until she tasted Castle's food.

They ate in thoughtful silence for a couple of minutes.

* * *

"You know, she's facing a lot of change all in one go," Kate pointed out. "Her break up with Ashley is probably still fresh, then graduating from high school, and now there's the prospect of starting college. It's an exciting time, but it's got to be a little daunting too."

"How'd you get to be so understanding?" asked Castle, stroking her forearm.

"Been there," she admitted.

Kate watched his fingers moving over her skin and then she looked up into his face and smiled. Castle smiled back at her, looking for all the world as if he was reading her mind.

"You're very touchy-feely," she remarked quietly, a hit of amusement in her voice.

"Not gonna apologize for that, Kate," he said, continuing his tentative exploration of her arm.

"Wasn't a complaint, Castle. Just…observing," said Kate, still watching him, how relaxed and happy he seemed despite everything, much calmer now than first thing this morning.

Kate tore her eyes away from him to carry on forking her food.

"Alexis is moving on, and now she sees things changing for you too. You've always been her constant, and I'm sure she thought you'd be here, just like always, waiting for her when she decided to come back and visit. The idea that things might be…_different_ when she comes home…that's got to be unsettling."

"Things really _are_ going to change for us, aren't they?" he said, as if the though were just dawning on him.

"Well, I…I certainly hope so," said Kate, reaching out to touch his hand.

She suddenly looked a little shy, a little hesitant.

"Last night wasn't a one time thing, Castle. Heat of the moment or…or brought on by fear. I know what I want. This is _it_ for me," she said, lacing her fingers through his.

It felt so good to finally admit these things out loud, to him and to herself. It was so freeing to put it out there, after all these months of just bottling everything up and stuffing it down inside until she felt it might rise up and choke her.

Castle stared at Kate, amazed by how wholeheartedly she'd abandoned subtext in favor of straightforward honesty. He wanted to meet this Dr. Burke and shake the man firmly by the hand.

"Kate," he said, warmth coating his voice as he reached up to stroke the back of her head, relishing the feel of silky curls passing through his fingers.

She let her head drop back a little, leaning into his touch.

"Mmmm," she murmured, her eyes falling closed.

"Kate, I know you must be wondering…about me, about my commitment to this. After my history," he said, hesitantly. "And we haven't had a chance to talk about any of…"

Kate's eyes flew open and she swiveled on her stool to face him, trapping one of his thighs between her own.

"Castle, you have _more_ than proved yourself to me. After all this time? The way I made you wait? I'm not saying we won't have issues. And I can't say I was thrilled by your recent thing with that stewardess, but…"

"Yeah, about that," he interrupted, scrubbing a hand over his face, embarrassed.

"Shhh," said Kate, pressing a finger to his lips to silence him. "Water under the bridge, Castle. Really," she said gently, a smile warming her eyes.

"You sure, because…"

"Castle. I said I'm sure. Unless you still have her on speed dial?" she smirked, eyes dancing, everything forgiven.

"I'm not even gonna answer that. You done eating?"

"Yes. That was lovely. Thank you. And now I think someone said something about a nap?" said Kate lightly, sliding gingerly off the stool so that she was standing in between Castle's legs. She rested her hands on his thighs while he held her by the waist. "And, Jeez, I'm sore," she confessed. "Do you have any Tylenol?"

"Oh Kate. You should have said something. Sure, I have Tylenol somewhere. I'll bring you some. Let me check on Alexis and I'll come find you," he said, drawing her into a hug, and pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "Go get comfortable. I'll be right in."

* * *

Kate went off to Castle's bedroom feeling sleepy and warm after the food, but aching from the beat down she'd taken the day before, now that the aftereffects of the warm bath had worn off.

She looked around his room, hands on her hips, taking in the carnage of rumpled sheets, the comforter in a crumpled heap at the end of the bed, and the clothes strewn across the floor.

She straightened the bed out with some difficulty, wincing with every stretch and pull, then turned her attention to their clothes.

Her jeans were still damp from the rainstorm she'd sat out in the night before, when she'd revisited the playground they'd reunited in after that long summer apart. She'd gone there to make peace with her demons, to finish off the conversation they'd started all those months ago, and to lay the ghosts of her wall to rest before coming to find Castle and throwing herself on his mercy.

Her shirt was wrinkled beyond saving. It would have to go into the laundry before she could think about wearing it again.

As she straightened up from picking it off the floor a sharp pain shot through her abdomen and up under her ribs. The pain ripped right through her, leaving her shaking and breathless. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and upper lip.

She dropped her shirt on a chair and hurried towards the bathroom, turning on the faucet and running the cold water to splash over her wrists and face. Her side was throbbing. The pain stabbed every time she took anything more than a shallow breath.

So she stripped off her tee shirt to get a better look at her side. The bruise was already more livid and the flesh beneath her ribs looked slightly swollen and was painful to touch around her surgery scar.

When another sharp jag knifed through her, she couldn't stop herself from crying out. Something about it didn't seem normal, and she was starting to feel a little panicked.

"Castle!" she yelled, clutching the edge of the vanity, almost doubled over as a bead of sweat trickled down between her breasts.

When silence stretched out, she yelled again.

* * *

After a moment a timid voice floated through the partially open door.

"Kate? Are you okay in there?" asked Alexis, tapping gently on the doorjamb.

Kate froze, clutching her shirt to her chest as she whimpered through another wave of pain.

Alexis knocked again and then pushed the door open a little more.

"Kate?"

When the girl caught sight of Kate's bruised back, she sucked in a startled breath.

"My god, Kate. What happened to you?" she asked, hurrying to her side, her eyes wide and horrified.

"It's nothing. It's nothing. Really. Nothing for you to worry about," she lied, trying to reassure her as she pulled her shirt slowly back over her head with the girl's help.

"Do you know where your dad is? I could really use…" she breathed through another wave.

"He went to find some pain killers. Should I go get him?" Alexis asked hesitantly.

"Please? Could you just…please ask him to come in here?"

Before Alexis had a chance to leave, the man himself breezed into the bedroom whistling and carrying a bottle of pills and a glass of water. "Kate?" he called out, looking for her.

"In here, dad," said Alexis, looking at Kate with real concern. "Dad'll fix this," she reassured the older woman, squeezing her arm. "He's good at fixing stuff," she added, sounding as if she was trying to convince them both.

"Kate? What's wrong?" asked Castle, rushing to her side.

"Hurts, Rick," she hissed through gritted teeth, still leaning forward over the sink.

He went to place a comforting hand on her back, mindful of how gentle he needed to be.

Alexis cried out in warning.

"Dad, she's really hurt. Be careful."

Castle turned to look at Alexis. Seeing the fear in her eyes, he laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I know, sweetie. I'll take care of it. Thank you for looking out for Kate. I've got it from here," he said, knowing that his partner would want privacy more than anything as she struggled through this.

Kate had never been one to open up easily, had never wanted to admit to weakness or ask for help, and she was giving him so much more today than she ever had. He didn't want to push her before she was ready, only to have her shut back down.

Alexis reluctantly left the bathroom with a worried glance over her shoulder, while Castle set about dispensing the pain meds and handing Kate some water.

* * *

"I think maybe you should see a doctor," he said, once her breathing had steadied and her eyes had cleared a little.

"I don't know," said Kate honestly. "Maybe if I just lie down for a bit," she suggested.

"Or I could call Lanie?"

"_No!_" Kate replied quickly.

Seeing the flash of surprise in Castle's eyes she added more softly, "No, not yet. Just…help me into bed?"

He did as she asked, resolving to ask her more about how much Lanie and the boys knew later.

"Those words…like sweet music to my ears, Kate," replied Castle, trying to lighten things, pleased to see a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, well, I'm afraid a cuddle is the best I can offer you right now, Castle. The hot sex will have to wait."

Castle barked out a surprised laugh, and stared after her. Had she just? God she had.

"You comin'?" she asked, holding a hand out to him.

* * *

Kate settled down in bed on her uninjured side, squirming to get comfortable while Castle went to fetch her an ice pack.

Her eyes were closed when he came back into the room. She looked so peaceful and so beautiful that he hesitated to disturb her. The pain medication had taken effect and her face had visibly relaxed.

He touched her arm lightly, trying not to startle her.

"Kate, I'm just gonna lift your shirt. Okay? Get some ice on that swelling."

Kate rolled onto her back, opening her eyes, a hint of a smile teasing her lips.

"Any excuse to lift up my shirt, huh Castle?" she mumbled, close to sleep as she helped him to ease the soft jersey off her skin.

He loved her this soft and vulnerable. Hell, he loved her every which way.

Castle stiffened, stared at her exposed abdomen in the daylight, at the slightly raised keloid scar caused by the rib spreaders the doctors had used during the emergency surgery that had saved her life, and he felt an overwhelming sense of sadness.

Kate watched his face, the shadows clouding it, the traces of grief and guilt washing over his strong features.

"Rick? The ice?" she prompted gently, reaching for the gel pack.

She would help him through this over time. Ease the guilt he felt at putting her in danger, for failing to save her that day, the way she knew he saw it. She would show him how he'd given her so much more than she felt she deserved – that the scales were still out of balance, the odds still firmly tipped in her favor. Over time, she would make it all up to him.

"Yeah. Sorry," he grunted, snapping out of it, laying the gel pack against her side, still staring as an array of goose bumps rose along the surface of her skin.

"Come lie down with me?" she asked, patting the space in bed beside her.

Castle circled the room and did as she asked, lying down slowly and carefully to avoid jostling her before he edged his way closer to curve his body against hers, his chest almost touching her back. He molded himself around her just as he'd always hoped he might, given half a chance.

* * *

"Kate," he whispered once they were settled, stroking her arm with his fingers. "Maybe you should call the boys and Lanie? Let them know that you're okay. That you're safe," he suggested tentatively.

A pang of guilt washed over her. Esposito was suspended because of her, and Ryan had lost his partner, had lost all three of them in one go actually because of her personal crusade. She'd broken up their little team, her best friend hadn't heard from her in days, and Castle still didn't know the half of it…

She closed her eyes and tried to think. Fought the urge to hide under a pillow or run away like she normally did. But she owed him more than that, owed them all way more than that.

"Javi got suspended," she said quietly. "Because of me," she admitted, with her back still to him.

"What? Suspended, how?" asked Castle, sounding confused.

"And Kevin…Javi's not even speaking to him. Blames him for…oh Castle I've made such a mess of things," she confessed, turning over in bed to look at him with worried, sorrowful eyes.

"Kate, you fixed us," he said patiently, no hint of resentment in his voice. "You'll sort this too. I know you. You're stubborn and determined and you have the biggest heart. They'll listen to…"

Castle was cut off by his cell phone. He rolled away from her with a frustrated sigh at the interruption to pluck his phone up off the nightstand. He took one look at the screen, and then emitted a low whistle, holding it out for her to see.

"No time like the present," he suggested, no hint of bullying to his tone, just gentle encouragement.

He was fine either way, her choice.

Because the person on the other end of the line, who was obviously worried enough to be calling her partner, was none other than her best friend, Dr. Lanie Parish.

A/N: _I hope you're still enjoying this story as it unfolds. I've been taking your review comments to heart as I shape the route it takes forward. _

_Still love to hear what you're thinking. Please review? _


	7. Chapter 7 Details, Girlfriend!

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 7 – Details, Girlfriend_**

Kate looked a little panicked, but she took the phone he offered her anyway.

As Castle went to get up out of bed, intent on leaving her alone to talk to Lanie, Kate reached out and grabbed him by the wrist to stop him from going.

"Stay with me?" she asked, sounding breathless and a little vulnerable. So unlike the Beckett he knew from the Twelfth.

"Whatever you need, Kate," he said quickly. "Always, whatever you need," he repeated, settling back down on the bed beside her.

She nodded, seemingly reassured, and then looked at his phone nestling in her hand. Lanie's screen image, an unsmiling picture of her friend dressed in blue scrubs, looked back at her. Kate pulled her knees up to her chest, curling into a ball, took a breath, and quickly tapped the green 'Accept' call button on Castle's iPhone before she could change her mind.

"Lanie?" she all but croaked, biting her lip nervously, fearing her friend's anger.

"Kate, honey? Oh thank god," cried Lanie in surprise and relief. "I've been so worried. Your phone's been switched off since last night. What's going on? Javi said you resigned. But he wouldn't tell me why."

Lanie's stream of questions made Kate smile. The rapid volley was just so much like her friend – inquisitive, some might say downright nosey, almost making it impossible for anyone else to get a word in.

Kate relaxed against the pillows until Lanie was finished talking, and then she took a deep breath.

"I'm okay," was all she got out, before Lanie started up again.

"Where are you, girlfriend? Cause I called your apartment a bunch of times last night and there was no answer?"

Kate rolled her eyes at Castle, a blush tinting her otherwise pale cheeks. She hated having to explain the obvious to the flustered M.E., and had hoped to spend some more time talking things over with her partner before having to let her friends in on their new relationship. Kate was sure of what she wanted, but she understood Castle's misgivings over her apparent sudden change of heart. He really needed more from her before she threw them both to the lions. But Lanie was giving her no way out.

* * *

"You called Castle's phone, Lanie…" she pointed out, waiting for the penny to drop.

"Holy shit!" was the startled response from the other end of the line. "No, come on? You and writer boy finally got it together? _Really?_ You finally told him, Kate?" she squealed, bursting with excitement.

Kate buried her face in a pillow for a second, listening to her friend make a song and dance about her love life.

Castle stroked the back of her head, sympathizing with her, recognizing her deep-seated need for privacy. But he couldn't contain the grin that spread across his face as he listened to the excited squealing coming out of his phone.

"I'm gonna go get you a drink of something," he whispered, pulling away when Kate tried to hold onto him again. "Really, you don't need an audience for this. She's gonna press you for details, Kate. I'd rather not hear the advance reviews," he said, burying his face in her neck.

Lanie was still squealing, oblivious to their private exchange.

"Hey, the reviews are glowing, believe me," said Kate, beaming at him, her eyes soft and full of love. "Promise me you'll come right back? I'm gonna need rescuing in a couple of minutes."

"Promise," he said, kissing her once on the nose. "Be right back. Tea okay?" he asked quietly.

Kate nodded, letting him go this time.

* * *

"Who's that?" asked Lanie, suddenly tuning back in. "Is that _him_? Is that writer boy? Put him on the damn phone, Kate," she ordered.

"He's just leaving the room," said Kate, waving him out before Lanie could embarrass him.

"Honey, if you can't get me Castle, you know I'm gonna want details from _you_," she warned.

Kate sighed.

"What do you want to know?" she asked her friend, praying she wouldn't ask anything intimate while Castle was still within earshot.

"Everything," said Lanie, emphatically. "I want to know everything. What happened yesterday when you and Javi went rogue and you damn near got yourself killed? Why Gates suspended both of you? I want to know why Javi's refusing to talk to Kevin, because he won't tell me anything. But how about we cut straight to the happy ending? How'd you finally end up telling Castle how you felt and did you two…_you know_?" she said suggestively.

"Lanie, did we '_you know'_? What are we _twelve?"_

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that, Kate. Fine, hit me with it girl. How was the sex? Smokin' hot, I'll bet. Mind blowing, _right_? I mean it must have been. You guys have been waiting like _years_ for this."

"_Lanie!_" moaned Kate, covering her face with her free hand.

"_Kate!_" Lanie mimicked. "Details, girl!" she repeated, not letting up.

"Okay," said Kate, giving in. "Javi and I were pursuing a suspect yesterday. The guy totally overpowered me, like I was nothing, Lanie. I don't think I've ever been that outmatched before. Anyway, in the end he tossed me off the roof of the building. I was literally hanging on by my fingertips, and suddenly all I could think about was _him_."

Kate's voice took on a breathy quality.

"How I'd left it too late to tell him how I felt about him. How I was probably going to die and he'd never know that I loved him back. I didn't care about anything else anymore – not my life, not my mother's case, not the job...just Castle. And then Kevin arrived just as I finally lost my grip on the ledge. He grabbed me just in time, and it was as if I'd been given a second chance. I just got over here as quick as I could, and, oh Lanie, it felt like coming home," confessed Kate, to utter silence on the other end of the phone.

"Lanie? You still there?" asked Kate, looking at the screen to check that the call was still connected.

"Yeah, honey I'm here," said Lanie, swallowing hard.

"Are you _crying?_" asked Kate, amused that the tough cookie M.E. was sniffling over Kate's story.

"Girl, that is _so_ romantic. You're killing me," she all but sobbed. "How'd he take it? Did you throw yourself at him? I bet he dragged you to bed by your ridiculously gorgeous hair?"

"Eh…not quite. I had a little bit of explaining to do. It's…it's all good now, but…there _was_ a moment," Kate admitted, "when I thought I'd blown it for good, Lanie. My heart almost stopped."

* * *

A light tap on the doorframe drew Kate's attention. Castle was leaning against it looking overcome and adorable, his eyes filled up with emotion. One look at his face told Kate just how much of her chat with Lanie he'd overheard.

He held up two mugs of tea as a peace offering, and she beckoned him back to bed with a warm smile.

"So, the sex?" shrieked Lanie. "Get to the sex part already!"

Kate eased herself up onto the pillows so that she'd be able to drink her tea without spilling it. But as she reached back to hoist herself up another sharp jab of pain left her gasping for breath.

"Kate, hold on. Here, let me help you," said Castle, quickly putting the tea down on the nightstand so he could reach for her.

Lanie's voice continued to burble out of the phone. But Castle took it from Kate's hand and set it aside. Then he climbed up behind her and gently lifted her under her arms until she was propped upright against a pile of pillows and the headboard.

"Better?" he asked, tapping his phone so that Lanie was now on loudspeaker.

Her excited ramblings spilled out across the bedroom.

"Lanie, hi this is Castle," he interjected mid-flow.

The M.E. stopped talking immediately.

"Listen, Kate was hurt pretty bad yesterday, and she's in a lot of pain. I was wondering if you could come over and take a look at her?" he said, taking Kate's hand to soothe her when she vigorously shook her head to object.

"She's sending me daggers right now, but I'm worried about her and you'd be doing me a massive favor if you could come…"

"I get off in half an hour. I'll be right over. What are her symptoms?" asked Lanie without hesitation.

"Eh, tenderness on her left side. The skin around her surgery scar is…it's badly bruised and a little swollen," said Castle, leaning over to kiss Kate's cheek, swiping away the single tear that tracked across it.

He knew how much she hated feeling weak or vulnerable, and that this was therefore so hard for her - admitting that she was hurt and then letting him in to help.

"Guys, I'm right here," complained Kate, as Castle discussed her physical health with her best friend as if she wasn't even in the room.

Castle ignored her protest and continued.

"The pain is severe enough to make her cry out. It seems to get worse when she takes a deep breath."

To Kate he said, "I'm sorry. But I'm worried, Kate, and I'm not going to sit here and watch you suffer."

"I'll bring my kit, but we might have to take her to a hospital, Castle. Take care of her until I get there. Give her a small amount to drink, but no food until I can have a look at her, okay? Just in case she needs…um, surgery."

"Dammit," said Castle, holding her a little closer.

"Let's not panic until we know what's what. I won't be long."

"Thanks, Lanie. We'll see you soon."

A/N: _Oh poor Kate. _

_Still love to hear what you're thinking. Please review? _


	8. Chapter 8 What Are Best Friends For?

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_A/N: Apologies for the delay. I was in London this past week. Thank you for all the gentle nudges to update and the lovely reviews._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 8 – What Are Best Friends For?_**

The bedroom was quiet, cool, washed with the intermittent stripes of afternoon sunlight that filtered through the gaps in the blinds.

Kate and Castle were lying together in bed, resting, and talking quietly about Lanie's earlier phone call while they waited for her to arrive.

Castle stroked Kate's arm, the repeated rhythm of his fingertips moving across the surface of her skin having a hypnotic effect on both of them. For Castle it was the simple, intimate act of being able to touch her just like this - freely. For Kate it was more physical, as if she could feel every whorl, every arch and loop that formed the unique friction ridge pattern of his fingerprints. The sensation aroused and yet soothed her, and she had just let her eyes fall closed when they heard the sharp knock on the front door.

"Lie still," said Castle, kissing her lightly before he got up, crawling backwards off the bed. "Be right back," he promised.

"Don't let her bully you for details," warned Kate, rolling onto her side to watch him go. "She's been waiting years for this, and she can get pretty vicious when she wants to be," she said, with a lazy smile.

"Don't worry. It'll take better than Lanie Parish to break me," replied Castle, giving her a wink.

"You're a brave, foolish man, Richard Castle," Kate called after him, knowing just how persistent her friend could be.

* * *

By the time Castle got halfway through his office, Alexis was at the front door, unlocking it and swinging it open.

"Lanie," she said, surprised to see her boss standing out in the hallway. "Oh, you must be here to see Kate?" she realized, sounding momentarily disappointed.

"How're they doin'?" asked Lanie, earning a smile from Alexis for treating her like an adult by immediately drawing her in to her confidence about Kate and her dad.

"Mentally? Best shape I've seen them in, I guess. At least in front of me. They seem much closer…_united_, like a proper couple," said Alexis, after a moment's thought. "But it just seems…I don't know…kind of _sudden_? And physically? Kate's…well, you should probably see for yourself. Since I'm no expert. But she's badly bruised, looks like she's in a lot of pain, oh, and she fainted before lunch, after she got out of the tub," confessed Alexis. "Dad tried to pass it off as just the heat from the bath or lack of food, but I'm not sure," she said, a worried frown creasing her forehead.

"Thanks. That's helpful, Alexis. And how're _you_ doing?" Lanie asked kindly.

"_Me?_" asked Alexis, surprised to be asked.

"Yeah. Kate sounded pretty loved up on the phone. You been hiding out in your room?"

Alexis laughed in relief. "How'd you guess? Yeah…I'm…Kate was pretty honest with me earlier. I was horrible, a real brat to her, but she didn't back down. I have to respect her for that. She didn't treat me like a kid. Answered all my questions. I just hope she means what she says."

"Alexis, she _loves_ your dad. I know that much. Maybe it took her a while to tell him. But she loves him and she's one of the most loyal people I know. So, give her a chance, hmm? I'm sure she'll prove herself to you."

Alexis blushed.

"She shouldn't have to prove herself to me. I _know_ she's a good person. That she's brave, and strong, and fights for what she believes in. I just wish she had let my dad in sooner. He's just been waiting around for her to like, _notice him_, and she hurt him, Lanie, more than once. That's been really hard to watch; seeing him humiliate himself like that over her."

"But that's all over now, Alexis. You have to let the past go if that's what your dad has decided to do. Give them a chance."

"Give whom a chance?" asked Castle, striding out of the office as if he hadn't just heard the rest of the conversation between his daughter and the M.E.

"Never you mind," said Lanie sassily, putting her arm around Alexis' shoulders. "How about a cup of coffee for your boss?" she asked, ensuring the girl was occupied in the kitchen so that Lanie could speak to her dad alone.

* * *

"_So_…how much of that did you hear?" she asked Castle, raising an eyebrow at him.

Her gaze was penetrating and direct.

Castle swallowed thickly. God, Kate was right. Lanie _was_ one tough, perceptive cookie.

"Fine. I'm guessing all of it," replied Lanie, when Castle didn't immediately reply. "How's my girl doing? And I want the truth, Castle. Not whatever fairy story you've been feeding Alexis."

"She's in pain, just like I described on the phone, and she's pretty banged up all over actually. Her back looks…" he winced, eyes clouding over as he thought about the contusions marring her pale, perfect skin.

"Okay. That's…why don't you just take me to her so I can judge for myself, huh?" suggested Lanie softly, laying a comforting hand on Castle's arm. "But before we do that, tell me, how are you doing?"

Just like Alexis, Castle was surprised to be asked this question. He seemed to waver a little before answering Lanie, unsure how much to reveal to her.

"I'm…kinda punch drunk, actually," he admitted, letting out a breath. "It's like all my Christmases came at once…"

"_But?_" prompted Lanie, seeing the whisper of uncertainty in his eyes, the struggle.

"I'm…_suspicious_."

"Of Kate?" asked Lanie, a little surprised.

"Not, _no_…that's… That sounds awful, when you put it like that. Just, it would break my heart if she changed her mind," he said frankly.

"Come over here. Sit," said Lanie, drawing Castle over to his own sofa. "What makes you think she'll change her mind?"

"I…I don't know. Just…ever have something happen that just seemed too good to be true?"

"Try me. Explain. What's the problem?" asked Lanie, sympathetically.

Castle sighed, letting out an exhausted knot of emotion.

"I went to see her yesterday…at her apartment, and she wouldn't let this crusade go, even after I told her that I loved her, and explained that if she didn't stop pursuing this thing _they would kill her_. And even after all that, she let me walk away, like everything else was so much more important. So when she showed up here last night…I…I thought I'd break if I touched her. Here she was, _finally_ throwing herself at me and I wanted to hold her at arms length, keep her away from me, because I _knew_ that as soon as I touched her…I wouldn't be able to stop," he explained, his face stricken at the memory.

He broke off abruptly, suddenly seeming to realize just whom he was confessing all to. He passed a hand over his face, clearly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that. I'm sorry, Lanie, that was…"

"Hey. _Hey_! I've been here Castle, for all of this. Watching you and Kate dance around one another, flirt in my morgue, do that crazy back-and-forth thing that you do so well…_fall in love_. So don't apologize. I know how you feel, a little anyway, and if it's any comfort, I _know_ how she feels about _you_. I've known her for a lot of years, and I've never seen her this way over anyone before. So follow your heart, Castle. She's not going to break it."

"I know. I…"

"You can trust her," she said gently.

"_I do!_ Oh, Lanie, I do. It's not…" he said quickly, horrified she might think otherwise.

"Then trust yourself."

Castle nodded, taking her point.

"And do this right, Castle. _Talk to her_. Tell her what you need. Make her listen, and get her to talk back. Don't mess up like Javi and I…"

Castle listened intently to Lanie while she talked, and then he squeezed her shoulder in gratitude when she finished.

"Lanie, this is not going to slip through my fingers. No matter how hard. This is…she's _it_. _Everything_," he said, looking more serious than Lanie had ever seen him before.

"Then you're gonna be just fine. _Both_ of you," said Lanie, pulling Castle into a hug.

"But I'm warning you," she added, wagging a finger in his face. "If she picks out some ugly ass bridesmaid dress for me…you tell her I'm never speaking to her again."

Castle laughed in surprise at the change to Lanie's tone, and the assumptions she was making. The tension in the room eased considerably.

"Now how about we go see our girl, before she comes out here looking for us?" the M.E. suggested.

* * *

Lanie tapped on the bedroom door before opening it slowly.

Kate had propped herself up in bed and was sitting with her knees drawn up towards her chest.

"Hey, girl. How're you doing?" asked Lanie softly, coming round to Kate's side of the bed to give her a gentle hug.

"Hi Lanie," she greeted her friend. "I'm pretty good, considering."

Castle had followed Lanie into the bedroom and he now hovered near the door.

Though some small, damaged portion of his heart tried to hold him back, he couldn't seem to stay away from her today. An invisible magnetic pull drew him to her, without words, without a look or a sound. He just needed…

"She looks good, don't you think?" said Castle supportively, wandering to the opposite side of the bed to sit down next to Kate, up by her hip.

"Well don't you two look cute in your little matching outfits," remarked Lanie, looking at the pair of them sitting side-by-side, both still wearing Castle's navy blue sweats and similar grey tee shirts.

Kate blushed even as she glared at her friend.

Castle ignored the M.E. and kissed her tenderly, delicately curling a finger behind her ear then trailing it down along her jawline to her chin as she leaned into him, lips soft, barely brushing, breathing the same air.

Lanie didn't even pretend to look away. She just watched them, a soppy grin replacing her normal tough girl expression.

"I'll leave you two alone," he said, when he broke the kiss, assuming Kate would want some privacy while Lanie examined her.

Castle finally backed away until all that joined them were the tips of their fingers, arms held out towards one another at full stretch.

"Why don't you put him down, Kate," admonished Lanie with a smirk, "and let me take a look at you," she instructed.

Kate blushed again. Castle barked out a laugh, and then finally left the room, throwing a smile over his shoulder at her.

"Yell if you need anything," he added, reluctant to leave her even for a short while.

* * *

"That man is crazy in love," noted Lanie. "And looking at _your_ face, he's not the only one," she remarked, eyeing Kate frankly.

"I'm not even gonna argue with you today, Lanie. Because I'm too exhausted, and, even if I did, I'd be lying," Kate admitted with a tired smile.

"I'm so proud of you, honey" said Lanie, hugging her again.

Kate winced from the pain of her friend's touch, drawing back to looking enquiringly at her.

"Proud? What for?"

"For telling him. Finally, Kate. You both look…"

"_Shattered?_" offered Kate.

"Yeah," laughed Lanie, "well that, and just…_right,_" she added. "Like this is where you were always meant to be."

"Feels that way," her friend admitted, nodding as she plucked at the comforter with her fingers, a shy smile on her face. "But I think maybe Rick's gonna take a little convincing."

"He's…yeah, he said as much."

"I messed this up, Lanie. So badly and for so long. I hate what I've done to him. All the crap I put him through. Like I was testing him to see if he was worthy of me or something. What right in _hell_ did _I_ have to _do_ that? To Castle of all people," she said, frowning ferociously. "He's such a good man, and I nearly drove him away with my obsession, and my stupidity, and my walls," said Kate, her face mirroring the stricken expression Lanie had just witnessed on Castle's face.

"But Kate, you didn't mess it up. And that's the point. The _only_ point. You fixed it. You told him. You chose him in the end, girlfriend. Now you just have to take a little time to reassure him. But that's gonna be the fun part, _right?_" said Lanie, winking at Kate.

Kate took Lanie's points on board, nodding silently to herself.

"So how about I check you over so I can leave you two alone to _reassure_ one another some more?" Lanie twinkled.

"Do I get a certificate or something? Cause I don't think Castle's gonna let me near him without some kind of medical clearance," said Kate with a tired, amused smile.

"Let me take a look and I'll tell you exactly what you can and can't do to lover boy."

"Eh, how about we keep it G rated. Alexis is out there, remember? The walls…well, let's just say assume everyone can hear anything you say around here, okay?"

Kate lifted her shirt and Lanie helped her to ease it over her head. Her face fell when she saw the state of Kate's back; the large dark bruises, the lacerations near the top of her spine.

"He got you good, honey," she remarked, fingers lightly skimming Kate's skin, examining as she went. "Back seems fine though. Superficial, even though I'm sure it hurts like a bitch. Nothing a little arnica and some time won't heal."

Next Kate lay down on her back to let Lanie examine her stomach and ribs. The ice pack had reduced some of the swelling on her left side, though the bruising still looked awful.

Lanie pressed tentatively around the injured area, testing both Kate's ribs and the soft tissue beneath them.

"Well, your ribs don't seem to be broken."

Kate let out a sigh of relief.

"But?" she asked.

"They're badly bruised, and with what you said earlier about the pain being worse when you breathe in, and the fainting…"

Kate interrupted her.

"Wait, how do you…oh, Castle," nodded Kate, "of course."

"No, _actually_. Little Castle's worried about you too. _She_ told me," said Lanie, nodding at Kate when she raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"_So_…as I was sayin' before you interrupted me. With the fainting, left-side tenderness, nausea, I'd say your spleen probably took a direct hit. But I don't think it's anymore than bruised. If you start vomiting, you call me. Okay? Otherwise, take it easy. Let Castle take care of you, Kate, and save swinging from the chandelier for another day. Gentle sex is fine if you feel up to it."

"_Lanie_," groaned Kate, covering her face with her hands.

"_What?_ You wanted a certificate, that's the best you're gonna get from me," said Lanie, grinning at Kate's embarrassment.

Kate pulled her shirt back over her head and smoothed it down.

"Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it. I know Castle would only fuss and worry if I let him. Hopefully this will put his mind at rest."

"_You're_ gonna have to put his mind at rest, Kate. _You_, honey."

"I know. Don't think I don't…I do. _I know_," repeated Kate, shaking her head. "I can do it now, Lanie. I've got to. He's too important not to."

"Good girl."

"You know he's out there pacing, right?" said Kate, her smile suddenly breaking out like sunshine.

"Shall we put him out of his misery? You wanna call him or shall I?"

"_Castle?_" said Kate, not raising her voice very much at all, because as she suspected, Castle was hovering just out in his office, walking the floor from door to window and back.

He appeared with obscene haste.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice and face bearing the same anxious expression, sounding a little breathless despite a complete lack of exertion.

"She's gonna be just fine," said Lanie, watching his features relax in relief. "Just…nothing too _energetic_ for a few days," hinted Lanie, with a suggestive smirk.

"Got it," said Castle, smiling at Kate, who let out a groan of embarrassment. "Not a problem."

When Castle and Kate failed to break eye contact, the soft look on their faces mirroring one another, Lanie knew it was her cue to leave.

"How about I come by tomorrow? We can talk some more. And you can tell me what's going on with those boys, about the job and everything," she suggested, acknowledging that these two had plenty to deal with for one day.

"Great. That would be…_thanks,_ Lanie," said Kate gratefully, swinging her attention back to her friend.

When Kate made to get up from the bed Lanie stilled her with a hand to her shoulder.

"You two stay here. I can show myself out. Give me a chance to say goodbye to my protégée anyway," she said, winking at Castle.

"No way is my daughter cutting up dead people for a living," said Castle, with mock outrage. "So don't encourage her, Dr. Parish."

"Oh, so I'm good enough to check over your girlfriend, but I can't mentor your daughter?" she joked, pulling Castle into a rough hug.

"You take care of her, you hear?" she warned him. "And be good to each other," she added, backing out of the room with a wave.

* * *

Now that they were alone again, Castle climbed back up onto the bed next to Kate, resting against the headboard beside her. He put his arm around her and drew her gently in against his side until her head was resting on his shoulder. He kissed her crown, reveling in the warmth and weight of her against his body, relaxed and completely willing.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered, flexing his fingers against her arm. "I'm so glad you're okay, Kate," he repeated, his voice cracking with emotion.

"Hey," whispered Kate, turning onto her side so she could nestle closer into his body. "_We're_ okay. Both of us, Castle. _We're_ okay. You hear me?" she murmured, pressing her lips to the bare skin of his arm, his neck, his jaw in reassurance.

He folded himself around her, guiding them both down until they were lying flat, entwined in one another.

"Stay with me tonight?" he asked, his voice betraying the worry that had been tugging at his heart since he'd woken up next to her this first glorious morning after.

Kate lifted her head to look at him, finding his shining blue eyes, uncertainty swimming right there on the surface. She drew up a little, getting closer to him. Her lips skimmed the soft curve of his mouth, and she watched his eyes drift closed at her touch.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rick," she whispered against his cheek. "Not going anywhere," she repeated, hoping he understood. Hoping he believed her.

His arms tightened around her body in reply and the room grew silent once more.

* * *

"She said gentle sex was okay, right?" asked Castle, after a moment, the levity returning to his voice.

Kate smiled into his tee shirt, her grin hidden in its soft cotton folds.

"And she's a doctor, right? So, she should know," said Kate, resting her cheek against his chest.

"A doctor, right," agreed Castle. "Passed the medical, Miss Beckett. Fit for active duty," he said proudly.

"How about you make me dinner, and then _later_…" she said seductively, her fingers curling around the back of his neck, the other encircling his wrist as her tongue traced the seam of his mouth.

"_Later?_" purred Castle, opening is mouth to allow her access.

"Mmmm, _later_…" murmured Kate, pressing her body down on top of his.

Castle's hands settled at her waist, holding her on top of him, focusing on her mouth, her glorious tongue, her heart beating against his chest, all of it life affirming.

"Food, then _later_," Kate hummed into his ear, sucking on the plump softness of his lobe.

"Deal," he whispered, tugging her against him while trying so hard to be good, so that _later_ didn't turn into _now_.

Because after four years of waiting for this, for Kate, he needed every ounce of self control he could muster to stop himself from rocking his hips into hers right then, as she moved above him, slowing her kisses until only her breath caressed his damp lips.

"_Deal_," she whispered back, her smile seeking shelter against his neck. "So feed your girlfriend, Castle. Cause she's hungry," said Kate, raising herself up on her knees beside him with a crazy, happy grin on her face as she reached out her hands to draw him up after her.

_A/N: Still enjoying this? Please let me know._


	9. Chapter 9 Feed Me, Castle

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 9 – Feed Me, Castle_**

Kate sat on a stool at the kitchen counter while Castle stood opposite her, chopping vegetables and cubing chicken breasts to pull together a quick Asian stir-fry for dinner.

Every couple of minutes he found himself glancing up from the chopping board to look at her, unused to the sight of Kate Beckett sitting contentedly in his kitchen while he cooked for them.

Sure, she'd eaten at his loft before, but somehow this was different – no case to work on, no confession just scored to celebrate, in fact, nothing to intervene at all right now. Just them, pure and simple.

His world had changed overnight, immeasurably for the better, and the reason for this good fortune was sitting across from him, leafing through a copy of Vanity Fair, looking tired but beautiful, and just so utterly at home.

His heart swelled on a deep breath in, and stayed full to the brim even after he let the breath go.

* * *

"You'll lose a finger if you keep that up," muttered Kate with a smirk, as she flipped over another page without looking up.

"Too creepy?" he asked, smiling back at her, still amazed by this sixth sense she'd developed over the last four years to catch him staring at her, despite having her head still buried in a case file or focused on her keyboard.

"Nah, don't care about creepy anymore," Kate admitted, sliding her eyes off the page to look up into his, amusement twinkling there. "Just…I'd prefer you with all your fingers intact," she said, raising a suggestive eyebrow at him.

"Right_._ _Right!_ Got it. For _later_," he said, carrying on the verbal shorthand they'd started a little earlier. A delighted grin lit up his face.

Smart man.

"Yeah, _later_," agreed Kate, tearing her eyes away from him to look back at the magazine.

* * *

Castle returned to his culinary tasks, giving all his attention to the nobly piece of ginger he was peeling. The sharp, fresh smell released into the air as his knife cut the juicy, fibrous chunk into golden yellow matchsticks.

Once he had enough prepared, he moved on to divest a couple of cloves of garlic of their papery overcoats, adding the little chopped heap to the growing pile of vegetables in the glass bowl beside him.

Alexis drifted downstairs while Castle was roughly slicing a bundle of dark green baby bok choy leaves.

"Hi," she said a little shyly, pulling out one of the stools to sit at the counter beside Kate.

"Hey, pumpkin. Stir-fry okay?" asked Castle, looking up to assess Alexis' mood.

"Sounds good. How're you feeling Kate? Did…I mean…was Lanie able to…" she stumbled over the question, unsure quite what to ask without sounding like she was prying.

"I'm fine, thanks Alexis," said Kate, laying a reassuring hand on the girl's arm. "Lanie thinks my ribs and spleen are bruised. But she reckons I'll live," she said, giving Castle's daughter a comforting smile. "What did you get up to? I hope we didn't chase you off to your room?"

Alexis' pale complexion pinked up a little, though she tried to avoid the truth in Kate's last statement.

"No, I was reading. Just…you know, trying to get a head start for college," she said, not lying completely, but close enough that her face gave her away.

Castle decided to step in and give her a way out of the awkward moment.

"Alexis, could you maybe chop these scallions for me?" he asked, indicating the bright green and white onions tied in a neat little bundle on the counter top beside him.

Alexis hopped down off her stool, grateful to have something to do.

"What about me?" asked Kate, unused to sitting idle while things were done for her.

"Tonight, you get to sit there and look pretty," said Castle, hoping Kate wouldn't object to his slightly patronizing remark.

She raised an eyebrow at him, but let it go.

Nudging Alexis in the side he told his daughter, "And then tomorrow night, it's your turn, sweetie," as he tried to keep things light and balanced between the three of them, while they navigated their way through this new situation.

* * *

Once the chicken was chopped, and the sesame oil in the wok up to temperature, Castle threw it in the pan and began moving it about while the pale pink poultry meat sizzled, turning creamy white and then lightly golden. He set the meat aside once it was cooked through, and then added more oil to the wok to begin stir-frying the garlic, chopped red chilies, ginger, and red peppers.

Kate looked up from her magazine the second the aromatic ginger and garlic released their fragrant scents in the hot oil, smiling widely at Castle when he caught her watching him stir the ingredients back and forth.

"Hungry?" he asked, passing her a small handful of unsalted, roasted peanuts he was about to chop to throw into the pan near the end.

"Mmm," said Kate, nodding her thanks for the snack. "Smells _so good_," she remarked, as Castle added light soy and teriyaki sauce to the wok, together with a final spoonful of fish sauce for good measure.

He smiled, pleased to see her appetite was obviously good, and that the fainting episode from earlier seemed to be behind them.

He threw the bok choy into the pan along with the peppers to steam down a little, keeping the whole thing moving, while Alexis dealt with the noodles. Then he added the chicken back to the pan to heat through, before finally throwing in the scallions and the chopped peanuts, along with a couple of handfuls of cilantro.

Alexis got warm bowls out of the oven, while Kate insisted on setting three places for them at the dining table.

"It's silverware, Rick. I'm sure I can handle a few forks and napkins," she reassured him with a pat on his arm.

* * *

Castle watched her cross to the table, wince a little as she bent over to lay placemats down on the polished surface, before adding the forks, bread plates, napkins and water glasses.

"Kate, do you want wine?" he asked, thinking about the excitement and nerves still thrumming through his own bloodstream, keeping his heart rate up and his body tingling the entire time.

Knowing she wasn't going home tonight, knowing she had promised to stay with him, just knowing with an absolute certainty that whatever did or didn't happen later she would be with him when he woke up tomorrow morning - his head with spinning with it.

And he needed a drink.

His heart was full to bursting and he needed something to settle his nerves, to take the edge off of _wonderful_. Just so that _wonderful_ became _manageable _for an hour or two. So that he didn't implode in a cloud of rainbows, and crazy smiles, and magic, and whatever this fluttery feeling was that was currently growing so big it threatened to overwhelm him – large part joy, small part fear.

"Hey, I'm right here," whispered Kate, suddenly at his side, smoothing a cool hand down his back, reading his mind, right there to reassure him, exactly how he'd always dreamed it might be.

He looked shocked. Shocked and grateful, his eyes filling up with all of it so that she just had to press her lips against that soft tender spot by the edge of his mouth, her hand curling round the back of his neck, fingers sliding through his hair, drawing him into her.

"Right here," she whispered again, her breath tickling his cheek.

"Mmm Kate," was all he managed to get out, circling his arm around her waist to gently pull her flush against him, such intense feelings flooding his mind, his whole body, his heart, as he allowed the reality of the moment to wash over him. "You're here," he added dumbly, a bright-eyed grin spreading on his face. "You _are_ here," he repeated, giving her a gentle hug.

Kate leant her forehead against his for a moment, aware that Alexis was nearby, but seeing just how much he needed this – her reassurance.

"I'm here. And I'm starving, Castle," she added, watching with a delighted smile as he pulled back, suddenly embarrassed at allowing himself to get so terribly sidetracked by a flood of emotion that he forgot how hungry she was.

"I'm sorry. Here, let me. You sit," he stumbled, as Kate smoothly disentangled them and headed for the table, trailing her fingers across his back, squeezing his side before letting go.

"And wine would be good, thanks," she added, smiling again as he blinked at her, still a little caught up in the moment, still awed by her willingness to be in this, both feet, all the way.

_A/N: A shorter update, but keeping it moving along. Hope you're still having fun with this. I loved all of your reviews and suggestions. It's great to hear what you like about this story. Really helpful. Thank you._


	10. Chapter 10 Space? Who Needs Space?

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

_**Chapter 10 – Space? Who Needs Space?**_

Dinner was a quiet, slightly awkward affair. Kate was tired, Alexis a little moody, and Castle? Well, Castle was Castle – always trying to placate, to keep everyone happy with small talk and humor the way only _he_ could.

Kate smiled at him appreciatively, seeing the effort he was going to, trying to smooth her way into his little family. He refused to let Alexis treat her like an outsider, to make her feel anything less than welcome, and she knew how much that was costing him – going up against his daughter; the light of his life.

* * *

"Here, let me help you clear up," said Kate, standing stiffly as she got up from the dinner table. "Dinner was lovely, Rick. Thank you," she added, watching Alexis come to life a little, to agree with her and join in thanking her dad.

"Kate," said Castle, coming round to her side of the table to capture her gently by the elbow, "I've got this. Please? Just go sit down and relax. It won't take Alexis and I long to clean up. Will it, pumpkin?" he asked his daughter, giving her no way out of helping him, so that Kate could rest.

"No," Alexis replied quietly, taking the hint and loading up with dishes and silverware before making her way to the kitchen.

"Please?" Castle added more softly, leaning down to kiss Kate on the cheek.

"Fine," she sighed, giving in to him. "But just for tonight. Don't think I'm going to let you boss me around now we're dating, Richard Castle," she said, a smile creeping onto her face and into her eyes.

"_Oh_? That _so_?" he asked, a cheeky grin tugging at his lips. "_So_…so…we're _dating_ then?" he asked her, clearly delighted.

"Sounds odd. I know. Doesn't it?" said Kate, wrinkling her nose at the word. "Well, what would you call it?" she asked, taking a glass from his hand and laying it down on the table so that she could wrap her arms around his waist, stepping into the small space between them.

"Hmmm," Castle pondered her question as he looked down at her.

She looked smaller, and softer than normal, in just his sweats and tee shirt.

"Come on. You're the wordsmith," teased Kate, flexing her fingers into his back muscles so that he reciprocated by wrapping his arms around her too.

"You've got me, Kate," he admitted. "_Speechless_."

"Oh, I _know_ I've got you," she teased back, rocking her hips against his so that his eyes slammed shut and he had to concentrate on her need to find a label for this, for _them_, to stop himself from dragging her off to bed right now.

"Dating sounds…" he paused to consider, moving just slightly back from her to preserve his dignity.

"Juvenile? Teenage? A lot less than I want this to be?" suggested Kate, watching Castle's eyes widen on her last statement.

"Again," he said breathlessly. "You did it _again_ – speechless, Kate."

She decided to take pity on him. At least until they could have some time alone to toss this stuff around without having Alexis scowl at them and ruin their fun.

Stepping back away from him, until she was only lightly holding onto his sides, she said, "How about we shelve this discussion for later, and you go help clear up before poor Alexis has it all done by herself?"

Castle turned to watch his daughter working quietly in the kitchen alone.

"Good plan," he said, kissing Kate gratefully on the forehead. "And _you_…feet up," he instructed, turning her by the shoulders to propel her towards the sofa.

* * *

Kate did as she was told, settling down on the huge leather sofa to read while Castle and Alexis tidied the kitchen. She could hear soft murmurings coming from that general direction, but tried hard to ignore it, giving them some privacy to talk.

"You okay, sweetie?" asked Castle, nudging Alexis with his hip. "You were awfully quiet over dinner. Something bothering you?"

"No, dad. I'm fine, really," she said, giving him a half-hearted smile.

"Because you know that you can talk to me about anything, pumpkin," he added, trying hard to get her to open up.

"I know, dad," she relied flatly.

Castle frowned to himself. This was going to be harder than he thought, and if he'd realized just how much of a damper Alexis could put on things, he wouldn't have lobbied for that glass of wine to take the edge off his excitement at finally having Kate with him.

"I can do these," said Castle, indicating the small array of wine and water glasses he was going to finish off by hand. "Why don't you go and keep Kate company?" he suggested, watching a flash of alarm cross Alexis' face before she could catch it.

"Or…or _you_ could. Keep her company, I mean," she stammered, trying to take the kitchen towel away from her father. "And _I_ can do these."

"Alexis," he said gently, laying a hand on her shoulder, "Kate's here to stay, sweetie. In our lives, I mean. So the sooner you get used to that…"

She looked down at her feet, scuffing the toe of her black ballet flat against the tile in an awkward, child-like manner. Looking so far from the brave young woman he had just watched deliver such a wise and heart-felt valedictory speech in front of her assembled classmates and their parents only the day before.

"I know it seems strange right now. But if you give her a…"

"Give her a chance. I _know,_ dad," interrupted Alexis, with a flash of anger. "Lanie already told me, so no need," she added testily.

If she had slapped her father across the face, her words would have had no less impact. He stared at her, disappointed, saddened, and not for the first time that night, at a loss for words.

"I think I'll go to my room," Alexis said finally. "Leave you guys alone," she added, squeezing Castle's arm in what she hoped was a conciliatory manner. "Night, daddy."

"Night, pumpkin," said Castle, kissing the top of her head, unable to raise a smile to go along with his words.

"Night, Kate," Alexis called across the floor of the loft, waving to her as she reached the bottom of the steps.

Kate looked up from her magazine in surprise, and then down at her father's watch. But she wisely decided to say nothing about the fact that it was only eight-thirty, and therefore far too early for the eighteen year old to be going to bed.

"Night, Alexis. Sleep well," she called to the girl, raising her hand in a matching wave as she watched Castle's daughter trail up to her room, all of her usual spark and bounce gone.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, when Castle had finished putting every last dish away, he wandered over to the sofa carrying two glasses of wine, a white and navy striped kitchen towel still thrown over his shoulder.

He looked tousled and adorable; managing to appear domesticated, and yet manly and sexy all at the same time, thought Kate, admiring him surreptitiously through her lashes.

Castle set the glasses down on the coffee table, and then sat down on the sofa near Kate, though nowhere near close enough for her liking. The look on his face was tentative, as if he was unsure how close he was entitled to get to her, as if he hadn't been told the rules yet. He rubbed a hand across his eyes in a nervous manner and reached for the remote.

Kate felt a pang of regret. She knew this was largely her fault; that she'd knocked his self-confidence where she was concerned, by keeping him at arms length for so long. So she swiveled on the sofa, and lifted her legs so that she could lay them across his lap, trying to show him how easy they could be with one another.

If she had to lead him in this, then lead him she would.

Castle smiled gratefully at her, and placed his large, warm hand on her bare ankle, sliding it a little way up inside the cuff of her pants to smooth his fingers across her shin.

"You hoping for extra brownie points?" teased Kate, leaning forward to tug the kitchen towel off his shoulder.

"_Oh!_ Sorry. Forgot that was there," he said, tossing it over the back of the sofa. "More wine? I thought we could toast," he suggested a little hesitantly, handing her a glass before lifting one for himself.

The pale, straw-colored liquid swirled around the bowl of the wine glass, throwing bright, circular reflections across Kate's thighs and stomach.

"To us," said Castle, quietly and sincerely, raising his glass to clink against Kate's as he caught her eye and held her gaze; silently communicating so much more than those two little words ever could.

The fine glass goblets rang out like small bells when their surfaces kissed, and then they raised them to their lips to complete the toast.

"To us," echoed Kate, with a sure, steady smile that eased the moment, and brought a wide, delighted smile to her partner's face as warmth flooded her eyes.

* * *

"So…" said Kate, after taking a couple of sips of wine, and letting the alcohol flow through her system, relaxing her aching body with the quiet buzz it set off in her veins. "How's she doing?" she asked, tilting her head towards Alexis' room.

Castle looked a little troubled, but quickly tried to hide it before he answered her.

"Hey," said Kate, leaning forward to touch his fingers. "No secrets. Okay? We do this right, Castle. Share everything. Agreed?" she asked him, squeezing his hand until he looked at her.

He gave her a slight nod of agreement.

"I honestly didn't think she'd take it this hard," he admitted. "But then I also didn't expect to be in a position to test that theory," he added wryly.

"I'm sorry," said Kate, full of contrition. "I…I know this was sudden, and maybe not the best way to…"

"Hey, Kate, _no_. None of that. I want to hear none of that. I have absolutely _no_ regrets. I'm…I can't begin to tell you how…how _blessed_ I feel right now. Blessed, is that even the right word?" he wondered aloud.

"Sounds good to me," agreed Kate. "I thought I'd lost you. Missed my chance. So, yeah, blessed is a pretty accurate way of describing it."

"You never lost me, Kate. _Never_. We just…we lost sight of where we were headed for a second back there. I'm sorry too. I wish I'd done a few things differently, said a few things I kept to myself for too long. Been a little braver. But that's all water under the bridge now, right?" he said, giving her ankle a gentle squeeze.

"Agreed," said Kate, taking another sip of her wine to hide the tide of emotion that was making her lip tremble.

"So do you think she'll come round? Because I was thinking," said Kate, pausing to get the words together to make sure this came out right.

Castle watched her carefully, keeping quiet to give her time to say whatever was bubbling in that brilliant brain of hers. A shiver of fearful anticipation passed through him.

"I just kind of landed on you last night. I had _no_ _plan_. I don't know if you noticed?" she laughed nervously, running her hand through her hair. "But I was just a little crazy desperate to get here to…to tell you how I felt. I just…I _needed_ you, Castle," she said with disarming honesty.

"And I love you even more for that," he told her, putting their wine glasses down so that he could slide along the sofa beside her, gently lowering them to a horizontal position, so that their heads rested on a pillow, and his body lay along the line of hers.

"Yeah, but crazy and impulsive are fine when there's just you and me to consider. But you have Alexis, and…and she's getting ready to go off to college. That's been such a big thing for you for so long now. I've watched you fret, and get anxious the closer that time has come. So, I said that I would stay tonight, and I will," she continued.

Castle was barely breathing behind her, and he wanted to tell her to stop talking right there. That he couldn't bear to hear anymore. He just wanted to make tonight, the certainty of it, last forever.

"Then tomorrow, I think I should go home, Rick. Give you both some space to get used to this," she said quietly, reaching for his hand.

* * *

Castle eased himself up on his elbow behind her. His voice a little raised when he spoke.

"I don't want _space_ from you, Katherine Beckett. Space is the _last_ thing I want. We just…we found each other, Kate. Don't you _see_? I don't want to watch you walk out that door…I,"

"Shhh," whispered Kate, as Castle's tone became more plaintive, frantic, and she worried that Alexis might hear them.

She turned in his arms until she was lying facing him.

"You need to understand what I'm about to say, Castle. You need to listen to me, okay?" she said, looking straight into his eyes, the gentle expression on her face, belying the determination in her voice.

He nodded, skimming his fingers down her temple, mapping her cheek, before dropping his hand down onto her back again to keep her close.

Kate placed both hands either side of his face, holding him gently so she could see that he understood.

"We're doing this, you and me. I know this is sudden, and a shock, and you're not sure if it's real, maybe. But there's no going back now. I love you, and there have been rumors that you might feel the same," she said, ducking down to peer into his eyes, hoping for the hint of a smile.

"But I'm not moving in with you any time soon, and I know you're not asking me to. We have to find our way with this, Castle. And you need to understand that just because I go home to spend the night at my apartment, or several nights for that matter, that doesn't mean we're through, okay? And when I walk out that door, I'm not walking out on you. I need you to have faith in me, faith in _us_. We've been through so much. And I want us to go through so much more…good things this time, and together. _Really_ together, Castle. Do you understand?" she asked tenderly.

He nodded, his eyes searching her face, absorbing her. Thrilled to be this close, and excited by the picture she was painting of their future.

"I know how much I've hurt you, Rick. But I will make it up to you over time. Just have a little faith. That's all I ask. Can you do that?" she asked, rubbing her hand gently down his arm, before leaning forward to capture his mouth in a tender kiss.

"I just…" he objected half-heartedly.

"I _know_," Kate said softly, nodding in understanding. "_Me_ too. But we have to do it this way. For _her_ sake. Today has made that abundantly clear. We have to, Castle. You'll regret it otherwise, and I'd hate for you to resent us for coming between you and that special daughter of yours."

"You're amazing, you know that? Truly amazing," he replied, tipping her chin up towards him, before he met her mouth with a gentle brush of his lips, slow and reverent.

Kate leaned closer, eager to feel the friction of his mouth on hers, the warm sweep of his tongue before he pushed his way in, his breathing becoming faster, more urgent as they clutched at one another.

Kate moaned as Castle's fingers hit a particularly tender spot near the top of her spine, and she arched forward, away from his touch, away from the pain.

"Oh Kate, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful, love," he said, easing them both to a sitting position.

"How about we just go to bed?" suggested Kate, standing first and holding out her hand to him, a wonderful, inviting smile on her face, eager to lighten things between them after their serious discussion.

"_See_," said Castle, "what you just said right there…_blessed_. You just make me feel blessed, Kate Beckett."

"So…you comin', Castle?" she asked playfully, swinging her hand in his.

"Give me a minute, and that's exactly what I'll be doing," he replied, eyes sparkling with salacious humor.

"Hmmm, _just_ a minute?" teased Kate. "Cause the clock starts now, big boy," she said, as she dropped his hand and hurried off in the direction of the bedroom without him, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure he was right behind her.

And since we're talking about Richard Castle, that's exactly where he was – right behind her.

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I am listening!_


	11. Chapter 11 Promise Me

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_Warning: Adult content_

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 11 – Promise Me_**

They don't have a nighttime routine.

No familiar ebb and flow of teeth brushing, face washing, undressing, or the shared folding down of comforters and sheets to ground them in an easy calm. They had none of that.

No. All they had was one memorable, frantic night together. A night when long-suppressed needs, and the raw anxiety floating right there on the surface finally overran them, those two feelings co-mingling in a tear-stained whirlwind of desire that left them clutching at one another, hearts beating wildly, fear and awe and surprise in their eyes and on their faces at what they'd just done.

In fact that was the thing Kate remembered most sharply about the previous night. The sound that had lodged in her brain when she woke up that morning - it was Castle's breathing. The short, shocked pants he had produced when she launched herself at him inside his front door. Then the fearful look in his eyes as he tried to hold himself away from her, his chest heaving with the effort while he forced her to explain her apparent sudden change of heart, his ragged breaths filling the space between them.

And then…_oh_, when the dam finally burst, his hot breath all over her; on her neck, her lips, in her mouth, on her breasts as he consumed her like a dying man gasping for air. Frantic, and needy, desperate, and passionate, all of it.

* * *

But tonight was different. The screaming panic had gone, subsided. They'd spent the day together, coping with Castle's daughter: her issues and concerns, tiptoeing around her mood. He'd nursed Kate's injuries, bathed her, held her when she fainted, put up with an inquisition from her best friend that she was sure she hadn't heard the worst of, and that was before you got to the domestic stuff – cooking dinner and laying the table together, the largely silent meal with Alexis, their heart-to-heart on his sofa, his painful need for reassurance through all of it.

* * *

So this was new for them, a gear change, a transition requiring careful handling. And now they were in his bedroom, the only light what was left of the day, filtering in through the blinds.

Castle walked to the nightstand, his back to her as he reached for the lamp.

Kate came up behind him, padding the wooden floor silently on bare feet. She molded herself to his back, drawing heat from his body into hers, slid one arm around his waist to splay her hand flat against his stomach, her mouth at his shoulder. With her other hand she reached past him to still his fingers on the switch, keeping the room in near darkness.

He turned in her arms to face her, his features strong and shadowed in the dim light of his very masculine bedroom.

"Kate, we don't have to do this tonight," he said quietly, his fingers lightly skimming her sides, making her shiver.

His eyes searched her face, loving and tender, without the desperate need she'd witnessed the night before.

"You might not," she said, staring up into his wide blue eyes, "but it's a little early to be speaking for both of us," she teased, burying her smile in the soft folds of his tee shirt.

She had tried for levity, but missed by a mile evidently, from the way he stared down at her then; his heart exposed, ripped wide open for her to see, eyes swimming with a mixture of love and pain and guilt.

"Kate, you're hurt," he murmured, pulling her to him, his hands sliding lightly over her bruised back to cradle her against him.

She turned her head to rest her cheek against his shoulder, allowing him to hold her there for a moment, breathing in time with him, aligning the rhythms of their hearts.

After a time, Kate pushed back a little, her hands on his waist as she twisted out of his embrace.

Confusion and hurt flared in his eyes, until Kate reached up on tiptoe and kissed his mouth, just once, gentle and reassuring, quelling his immediate assumption that she meant to reject him, or indeed that _he_ had just rejected her by being too careful.

"Be right back," she said, patting his chest.

A flash of need flared inside her at the feel of his muscles under her hand. So good, what he could do to her, what she would let him do, what she wanted him to do. All of it, just so good.

* * *

In his office, on a couple of random shelves, she'd noticed two Diptyque candles when she'd lingered there earlier, studying his haven, the birthplace of Nikki Heat. She collected them now, gritting her teeth against the pain as she reached up for the higher of the two.

_Figuier_ – The Fig Tree. She smiled to herself. It was just like Castle to ignore the traditional, for the exotic. No tuberose scent for him - too pedestrian, too obvious, lacking in imagination. That was the life she had let herself in for now, she realized with a jolt. A life filled with _extraordinary_. And how wonderfully appropriate that seemed.

When she reentered the bedroom with her loot, Castle had disappeared. The light under the bathroom door betrayed his location. Kate could hear the water running, and the quiet buzz of his electric toothbrush. He'd produced a spare for her last night – a spare head for his own toothbrush that was, rather than a manual one of her own. And the intimacy had seemed overwhelming at the time. Now she itched to get in there and bump hips and elbows with him as they worked around one another at his twin vanity.

Her need for space seemed to have evaporated along with her need for the job, for her badge and gun. 41319, 41319, she ran the familiar number around inside her head. We're more than a number. _I'm_ more than a number, she thought, looking around the bedroom for some matches. She found a small, dark green and white matchbook from The Old Haunt lying in a bowl on the dresser, along with a set of Castle's cufflinks, a paperclip, and a single brass-collar stay.

She lit the candles quickly, putting one on his side of the bed, and then one on…_hers?_ Did she already have a side? Kate pressed her lips together to suppress a smile. Maybe they were better at this than she feared.

* * *

When the bathroom door opened, and the light clicked off, Castle stopped on the threshold of the bedroom to stare.

Kate was sitting on the edge of the bed, still dressed, her hair falling loose around her shoulders, bare feet with pale toes stretched out in front of her.

The two candles sent shadows dancing across the walls and up over the ceiling of his room, turning it into a wonderful, exotically scented cocoon. She'd created this - a warm, intimate space in his cavernous, dark bedroom, and she'd done it all by herself…for them.

"Kate, this is…"

He looked around, blinking.

"Come here," she said, holding out her hands to him, standing as he approached her.

He came willingly, taking the hands she offered, before folding her up in his body entirely, his cheek resting against the top of her head, so warm and comforting.

"We haven't made the ideal start, and I can do nothing to change that. I can't _alter_ the past, Castle," she breathed against his neck, pressing a kiss to his throat. "That's what I've learned over the last twenty-four hours. But the future starts now, and…and _that_ I _can_ do something about," she whispered, shivering against him.

"Make love to me?" she breathed, pressing her body against his as she stretched up to find his mouth, gentle and tender.

"Oh, Kate," he groaned, reaching down for her, his heart pounding as her warm, wet mouth opened over his.

* * *

Her lips were slick and soft. She slid them over his, startling him when her tongue slipped inside. His hips jerked at the wonderful, erotic stab of electricity that ran straight to his core. His reaction was instant, painful and brutal, and she felt it, his body's response to her. The things he had discovered she could do to him with just the brush of her lips, the wet heat of her mouth on his, they amazed him.

Kate stretched up once more, teasing his lower lip with her tongue. Then she allowed her body to slide down over his, capturing the moan that escaped his lips at the delicious friction of her pelvis brushing down over his arousal.

When she followed the motion with the stroke of her hand and the press of her fingers, his breath caught in his throat.

"My god, Kate. Slow down," he panted. "Slow down or this is gonna be over _monumentally_ fast," he confessed, watching a wicked smile appear on her face.

"Fast, slow…we've got forever, Rick," she said, nipping at his earlobe as he walked her backwards until she sank down onto the bed.

"Yeah, and great as that sounds, I have my pride to think of. And I am _not_ gonna have you reminding me _forever_ how I couldn't keep it together long enough to get us both there on only our second time."

"Too much talk, Castle, not enough action. And far too many clothes," she added, plucking playfully at the waistband of his sweat pants.

Her chest heaved beneath her tee shirt as she slipped her fingers under his shirt to drag her nails over his skin. He shivered despite the heat flaring in his eyes.

"Are you sure about this because I totally…"

Kate smothered the rest of whatever it was he'd been about to say with another hard press of her mouth over his.

"Rick," she panted, pulling him down on top of her as she sank to the mattress, "I need this. Need you," she added, reaching up to gently stroke her fingers along the hard line of his jaw.

The weight of him on top of her was beyond anything she could remember. He nodded silently, kissing her eyelids one-by-one, her cheekbone, her jaw, her ear. His lashes brushed her skin, tickling, and she squirmed beneath him, feeling the sharp intake of breath as her hips circled his, pressing up against him, so that he rocked down to meet her.

* * *

Castle pulled back long enough to slide his hands underneath her shirt, gently skimming her ribs, trying to avoid the tender spots he had committed to memory earlier in the day.

"No, off," commanded Kate, arching her back so that he could tug the cotton shirt up over her head, leaving her in just her black lace bra. "Pants too," she muttered, lifting her hips for him, as her tongue worked circles against his neck, flicked his earlobe, and then her lips made contact with his clavicle, sucking lightly until he moaned out loud.

"Thank god for sweat pants," he mumbled, skimming her ass and thighs with the soft jersey fabric on their way to oblivion, in a heap on his bedroom floor.

"Now you," mumbled Kate, tugging at his pants again.

"In a hurry, Detective?" he teased, delighted by her need to get at him.

All this time, he'd hoped and prayed that he was reading this right – their chemistry, the looks they'd shared, the innuendo, the teasing. But _this_…_this _was amazing - a dynamite mixture of lust and love, knowledge and understanding; something far greater and more special than he had ever experienced before. Because their brains had connected before anything else. That spark between them had been there from the beginning, and now they'd ignited it, there would be no dimming that flame.

"Castle," she moaned, reaching for him as he pulled away to rid himself of his shirt, the cool air between them suddenly chilling her skin.

"Right here," he whispered in her ear, closing his body over her once more, while eerie shadows licked and flickered on the walls all around them.

Castle tugged at her bra strap with his teeth, sliding it down her arm slowly while looking into her eyes, a playfulness dancing there.

"Tease," she mouthed, sending her fingers skimming over the smooth, hard curve of his ass beneath the fabric of his boxer shorts, eliciting a moan of pleasure and a buck of his hips.

"God, Kate, you're gonna kill me," he husked.

"No, I have plans for you," she murmured back, forcing his shorts down his thighs.

He kicked them off the rest of the way, and then he turned his attention back to Kate, lying back on his bed dressed only in her black bra and a pair of his boxer shorts. Unbelievably stunning.

He gazed at her, smoothed his fingers through the softly waved hair at her temple, gentle and reverent.

Kate sighed and turned into his hand, pressed her lips to his palm and let her eyes drift closed. When he kissed her, her lashes fluttered open once more and she stared, unashamedly at him, his manhood; hard and aroused, pressed between them.

"Waiting for something?" she prompted, lifting her hips again in suggestion.

He grinned at her then, skimming his thumbs across her nipples, watching them stiffen under the lace of her bra, then he trailed his fingers down her torso, lightly brushing her stomach, so careful, so gentle that Kate moaned in frustration, and arched under his touch.

Castle took the hint, and flicked his tongue in a wide circle around her belly button, then captured the elastic of her shorts with his teeth and began the slow descent down over her hips. He dragged her underwear off smoothly, letting it drop to the floor beside his own, before crawling up over her body, where she lay submissively splayed against the mattress.

* * *

Her hair had fanned out over his dark, rust colored sheets, and her skin glowed a milky caramel in the warm light provided by the candles. She shivered as he skimmed his fingers over her stomach, close to the dark bruise on her left hand side, and he frowned, his eyes clouding at her pain.

"I won't break, Castle," she whispered, guiding him back down on top of her.

She moaned as he pushed the black lace fabric of her bra aside to circle her nipple with his tongue. The warm wetness of his mouth as he sucked lightly against her skin sent sparks showering behind her eyelids. Kate's fingers ran through his hair as she held his head there, over her breasts while he lavished them with attention. He kissed the scar between them gently, closing his eyes, fingers flexing on her waist as she set up a slow, writhing rhythm between them with her hips.

"Castle," she moaned in complaint.

He laughed.

"I get it, Kate. _Such_ a bully," he muttered in amusement, rising up on his knees above her.

"Such a slacker," she fired back, running her hands up and down his naked back.

When she looked back down between them, there was no question that he was ready. None at all.

"Okay, maybe not such a slacker," she smirked, "just…_please_?" she whined.

"Are you begging me, Kate?" he teased, his mouth pressing hot little kisses against her chest.

She snorted out a laugh, turning her head away from him and he dived for her exposed neck, sucking lightly on her skin.

"Are you?" he repeated, nudging her legs apart with his knee, and then running his free hand up along the inside of her thigh, slowly, until he was tantalizingly close to the spot she ached for him to touch.

"Okay. Okay. I might be begging," she panted desperately, squirming. "But just a little, and if you tell _anyone_ I said thaaaa…" she moaned, as Castle reached for her, two fingers stroking her silky smooth wetness, making her arch beneath him as he slipped them inside.

"Dear God," he breathed, feeling the urgency in her movement, and just how aroused she was for him. "Kate, you're beautiful," he said, studying her face as she writhed against him.

"Castle. Castle, _please?_ Now. _Please?_" she begged.

Yes, definitely begging now.

* * *

He didn't have to be asked twice. He lowered onto this elbows and guided himself inside her, gently, breathing out as he felt her tighten around him. He closed his eyes, just holding them there, still, wanting to feel everything. Everything that they'd been too rushed, too desperate, too broken to feel the night before in their haste to make things right between them.

Kate's fingers brushed his cheek, startling his eyes back open, and her smile set his heart soaring. She clenched her muscles around him, slowly arching her hips up towards him, the warm, lazy grin on her face making him twitch inside of her.

"You're extraordinary, Kate Beckett," he whispered against her mouth, sliding up over her body to a grateful moan.

They started to move together, building the tension between them at an achingly slow pace, watching each other through dark eyes. Kate's fingers roamed the muscles of Castle's back, skimming the twin mounds of his buttocks, and back up again, pressing him down into her when he became too careful with her bruised body.

The buzzing, aching need in her core tightened with every stroke, and she opened her legs wider to draw him in deeper.

Castle slid over her body, sweat slicking the skin between them as his mouth once more found her breast. He sucked at her nipple while Kate wound her arms around his neck, holding him there against her while he filled all of her, over and over again.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, drawing him deeper inside of her, "I love you, Castle," she breathed, stunning him.

"God, you have no idea how much I love you," he croaked, assaulting her mouth with his lips, tongue, teeth nipping at her jaw, hands roaming all over her skin, frenzied and searing.

"Show me," she whispered in the flickering darkness.

So he did.

* * *

They began to move faster, building the rhythm, their breathing ragged and hearts pounding. Every thrust of Castle's hips drew a strangled moan from Kate's lips, the ache and the need reaching uncontrollable levels.

"So close," she gasped against his shoulder. "So close."

"Oh…oh _god_," moaned Castle. "You're…oh god, _Kate_. You're _amazing_," he choked, as she gripped him tighter.

"Castle, oh…I'm…oh god."

He pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Kate, love, let go," he whispered, feeling her tighten around him, her breathing ragged, her chest heaving as she clutched onto him, riding a wave of ecstasy that finally broke over her at the words he whispered in her ear.

Her eyes slammed shut, and she stilled her movement as the orgasm hit her, rising up to meet him again, once, twice, guiding him with her hands to prolong her own pleasure.

After several seconds, Castle felt the fluttering subside, and he rocked gently into her, brushing his lips over her brow and across her cheekbone until she opened her eyes for him, slowly coming down from her high.

* * *

Kate grinned, so pleased with herself, her cheeks flushed pink making her look younger and so very relaxed.

"Your turn," she murmured, arching up to press her lips to his mouth, teasing the crease of his lips with her hot, pink tongue. "Castle, come for me," she implored him, smoothing her hands back over the firm curved muscles of his buttocks, pressing him up and into her as their rhythm increased once more to the rocking of her hips.

In the end, her tongue was his undoing. The wicked way she pushed it inside his mouth and swirled it one way and then the next, mimicking the circling motion of her hips beneath him.

He flexed his fingers at her shoulders, and Kate bit back the gasp of pain that threatened to escape her throat at the pressure he unconsciously applied to a tender spot he accidently found on a particularly deep thrust. She squeezed her eyes shut, soothing herself with the smooth softness of Castle's skin under her fingertips, and the soft puffs of his breath feathering the skin next to her ear.

"Oh god, Kate."

His strangled cry told her he was there now. One thrust, then two, and then he stopped, holding his breath as he came, eyes screwed tightly closed, his lower lip pulled between his teeth, his face contorted in ecstasy while he completely lost control.

* * *

His hair flopped down over his forehead, and sweat glistened along the strong line of his neck and shoulders. His cheeks were flushed from the exertion, and Kate could see his heart pounding in his chest. He looked beautiful, and sexy, and adorable, and just so…_indescribably handsome_, that she thought she'd never get enough of seeing him like this. Coming apart in her arms and then bringing himself back down to earth until they were back together, fully aware of one another and their surroundings.

"Hey," whispered Kate, brushing the hair off his face. "Okay?" she asked tenderly, as Castle lowered himself gently over her, to press a kiss to her shoulder.

"Okay?" he panted, arching an eyebrow at her. "I might be a little older than you, Beckett. But there's life in the old dog yet," he grinned, yelping in surprise as she tightened her muscles around him once more.

"Show off," he muttered, giving her a delighted look.

"How about you? You okay?" he asked, rolling onto his side to lie next to her.

"Couldn't be better," replied Kate, reaching down to find his hand, lacing their fingers together and then lifting their joined hands to press a kiss to his knuckles.

"Thank you," she muttered, tugging the sheet up over their naked, rapidly cooling bodies as a shiver ran through her.

"You're seriously thanking _me_ for _that_?" laughed Castle, in surprise.

"Shut up," huffed Kate. "I think you drugged me. I'm…a little out of it."

"Don't worry. Nothing you say can or will be taken in evidence," he parroted, earning himself a sideways glare from Kate and a tweak of his nipple.

"Oh, so now you've got me naked you're progressing from ears and noses to nipples. Ahhh, ah, Kate!" he squeaked, rolling away from her to protect his tender chest.

Kate followed him, curling her body around him, pressing her chest to his back, and her thighs down the line of his legs, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"That's better," he mumbled from the depths of his pillow, wriggling back against her to get the best fit.

* * *

"I love you," Kate said spontaneously, surprising herself.

She laughed. "And evidently I can't stop saying it," she grinned, cheeks flushing in the dark.

"I will never tire of hearing you say that. So please, don't ever stop," said Castle, rolling over in bed to face her.

"We're doing okay at this, aren't we?" he asked a little shyly, watching Kate's mouth curl into a broad smile.

"Oh, I'd say we're doing better than okay. But maybe I'm a little biased. I'm an unreliable witness right now, Mr. Castle," she murmured, leaning forward to kiss his smooth chest.

"Speaking of," said Castle carefully, watching her face. "Your resignation. We haven't really talked about that."

Kate's smile faded, not completely, but her expression became more neutral.

"Rick, please? Not tonight," she said quietly, running her hand up and down his arm.

"Okay, not tonight. But I want us to talk about it, Kate," he said, smoothing the pad of his thumb across her eyebrow, then along the curve of her lips.

"Deal," said Kate, kissing him gently. "We'll talk about everything. I promise. Just…let's have tonight. It'll all still be there in the morning," she said wisely, kissing him again.

Castle smiled at her, so thankful for her willingness to do this properly from now on.

"Hey, have I told you how much I love you?" he asked, grinning at her until she grinned back.

"If you're making fun of me I'll…" she squealed as he lunged for her, burying his mouth in her neck to blow a raspberry against her skin.

They fell apart laughing and panting onto their backs.

"I'll never make fun of you for loving me," he said, clutching at her hand. "Never, Kate. Do you hear?" he said earnestly.

"Me neither," she replied solemnly, humming to herself as the surge of endorphins subsided, and a drugging dose of oxytocin flooded her bloodstream, making her feel warm, and heavy, and sleepy.

"Best thing that ever happened to me. Falling in love with you," she murmured, snuggling into his side.

Castle kissed the top of her head, as a tear slipped down his cheek and he quickly swiped it away.

"Me too," he whispered, holding her close, listening to her breathing slow until she finally fell asleep beside him.

_A/N: Thank you for the great reviews. Love to hear if you enjoyed that chapter too._


	12. Chapter 12 Night Terrors

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 12 – Night Terrors_**

Kate wakened just a couple of hours later from an unsettling dream in which Castle was dangling off the side of a building and she was chained to a rusty old water tower on a rain-drenched rooftop, just too far away to reach him. It was only one-thirty in the morning, and her jaw and finger joints ached from clenching her teeth and gripping the sheets while she did battle as she slept.

The bedroom was dark and silent, and she was disorientated when she woke at first, having no idea where she was.

Her brain searched for clues. The mattress felt more luxurious than the one at her apartment, and the pillow was higher and softer under her head. But she felt as if she was suffocating, restless and too warm with the sheets tangled up around her legs.

As she rose to the surface, pulled from sleep as she fought to escape her bad dream, her awareness improved. The silence she'd assumed was the cool darkness of the bedroom in her own apartment was definitely not absolute. Because the solid, breathing form of her partner lay beside her, shoulders and back lifting slightly on every inhale, a soft whoosh breaking the quiet of the night on every exhale.

Kate peeled back the covers and threw one leg out on top of the sheet to cool off as she rolled onto her side to face Castle. She watched him, his back turned to her as he slept; so peaceful, so guileless, and so quiet it unnerved her a little. She missed his chatter, the comforting humor that could banish her fears, distract her from her introspection, and draw her back to the light like no one else could.

She had to resist the urge to wake him up just to have him with her. That strong pull to slide close to him, press her lips to his shoulder as she draped her body over him, arms snaking around his naked torso until he stirred, rolled onto his back so that she could wake him fully with a kiss.

No, Kate.

She would have trouble sleeping. Change did that to people. But it wasn't fair that she rob him of his rest just to make her worries go away for a while. They'd been together-apart for so long, supporting one another even at a distance. She needed to find a way to continue doing that for herself, and for him, if this was going to be healthy. If this was going to work.

* * *

When minutes passed and sleep still evaded her, Kate got restless. She threw the rest of the covers off and sat upright, swinging her feet to the floor. She found Castle's tee shirt lying near the bottom of the bed, and her own shorts in a tangled heap next to his on the floor, and she pulled them on while the air cooled her skin. Once dressed, she made her way out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her at the threshold of his office.

The nightlights of the city illuminated her favorite space in his loft, casting light and shade across the bookshelves so that they resembled a vertical cityscape; miniature streets made of tall, narrow buildings, gilt embossed spines glinting like the lights in tiny windows. She let her fingers skip and dance a trail along this small-scale library, picking out titles, recognizing authors, surprised by some of his choices and amused by others.

Kate thought about letting herself curl up in his chair to read until she fell asleep. But if he woke and found her gone, asleep at his desk wasn't the way she wanted him to find her. So she carried on into the lounge, mentally reconstructing the layout in her head so that she was guided around the furniture by instinct, without requiring the aid of a light.

She went straight to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water, and stood with her back to the refrigerator for a moment taking everything in.

'I'm in Richard Castle's loft, raiding his kitchen in the early hours of the morning, wearing _his_ clothes. Hell, wearing _him_ all over me having just left his bed'. Yeah, that just about summed it up. Crazy. Crazy but real. Crazy but good.

This was _actually happening_.

She smiled to herself, filling in the last little piece of that puzzle, the piece that made all of the above make sense. 'And I'm in love with him'. God dammit, that was the truth of the matter. That was what made this seem right, rather than as strange as it should feel.

* * *

Kate had climbed onto a stool and was flipping through the pages of the magazine she'd discarded earlier, reading by the small halo of light cast by the stove, when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Alexis descending from the upper floor.

"Hey," whispered Kate softly, not wanting to startle the girl. "Couldn't sleep?" she asked her, pulling out a stool in invitation.

Alexis shook her head wearily. "No."

"Me either," said Kate, patting the space next to her.

Alexis looked younger than her eighteen years, dressed in a pair of pink plaid pajama pants and a dark grey cotton vest. Her feet were bare and her hair was woven into a long, thick braid, which lay across one shoulder.

Kate had a momentary urge to reach out and smooth her hand over Alexis' head to comfort her, but she held back. They weren't there yet. In fact if the previous day's spiky conversations were anything to go by, they were a long way from that kind of relationship. It was a miracle Alexis had agreed to sit with her at all.

"So what's keeping you up?" asked Kate, swiveling away from the counter to face her.

Alexis look uncomfortable at the question. She swung her feet nervously and looked down at her lap, fingers fidgeting with the tie on her pants.

"How did you know…" she began hesitantly, and Kate braced herself for what might be coming.

"I mean, after all this time. Why now?" she asked, blushing but determined.

"Alexis, is that why you can't sleep?" asked Kate, with genuine concern. "Because you're worried about your dad? About _me_ being with your dad?" she clarified.

Castle's daughter nodded silently and then looked back down at her lap.

"Maybe."

Kate considered her response for a minute, knowing how important it was that she got this right. When she cleared her throat and scraped her hair back off her face she looked up to find Alexis watching her warily.

"I said I would be straight with you, Alexis. That I'd answer any questions you had, and I'm going to keep that promise. Your dad and I have agreed to be completely open with one another too, no matter how hard. That's one of the reasons it took us so long, I think…to be together – we didn't tell each other how we felt, or what we were thinking. And that mistake nearly cost me everything," she said quietly, ducking a little to meet Alexis' gaze.

"So…what? You had some sudden epiphany or…is _that_ what this was?"

God, this girl was good. Brutal, but good.

"You've been hanging out with Lanie, Kevin and Javi too much lately," said Kate, trying to make the girl smile. "I asked you why you couldn't sleep and you answered with another question. You'd make a good detective," she said, with a tired smile.

"And don't tell your dad I said that. I think he has higher aspirations for you," Kate added, wrapping her arms around her torso to keep warm.

"_You're_ a cop and he respects _you_," she said defiantly. "He's…really proud of you," she added honestly, biting her lip.

"I'm not a cop anymore, Alexis. I resigned yesterday," Kate added, watching the girl's head shoot up in surprise.

"Is…is that why _you_ can't sleep?" Alexis asked, her face flooding with concern.

"Part of it, I guess," replied Kate, nodding. "Change is always unsettling, and I'm facing some pretty big changes right now," she admitted.

"My dad?"

"Yes, that too," agreed Kate. "I love him very much, and I don't want to make a mistake that might hurt him, or you, in any way."

"You say that now. And you sound so sure…" she trailed off.

"I _am_ sure, Alexis."

"But why now? I don't understand."

"I didn't tell you what I was doing yesterday before I came here. Not because I was hiding anything from you. More because I'm still processing it myself. I haven't even talked this over with your dad yet. But…"

Kate paused, and looked at Alexis. Castle's daughter could be so much like him: thoughtful, intelligent, kind, but right now, she was tenacious and direct above all.

"I think maybe you need to hear this to understand."

She cleared her throat again.

"We got a lead yesterday. In my mom's case. We found the guy who shot me. A hired gun who works directly for the people who orchestrated my mother's murder."

Alexis' eyes widened.

"What happened? Is…is that how you got hurt?"

"Yes. Yes. There was a chase, and he…he was stronger than me," Kate admitted, as Alexis gave her her full attention.

"But you got him?"

Kate shook her head.

"No. He got away. And you know what?"

Alexis cocked her head to the side, raising her eyebrows in a question.

"Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. I didn't care."

"But you've been chasing this case for…for _years_."

"I know. And it really should matter. I Know that. But sometimes you get these moments of clarity. Like when you finally knew which college to choose," said Kate, drawing the situation back to something real that Alexis could relate to. "And this was one of those moments. I realized I didn't have to catch the guy anymore. Not if it was going to cost me my life. I was hanging off the side of a building by my fingernails for goodness sake, and in that moment…all I could think about was your dad," confessed Kate. "How he'd never know how I felt about him if something happened to me. How I might never see him again."

"Did you tell _him_ that?" asked Alexis.

"First chance I got," nodded Kate. "That, and how sorry I am for hurting him. And he was no pushover either. Believe me," she reassured the girl.

"So, you almost died," said Alexis, taking Kate's story in. "_Again,_" she added. "And what happens next time?"

"There won't be a next time. I told you…I handed in my badge."

"Did you do that for my dad, or…or is he just some kind of distraction? Now that you don't have a job, I mean."

Kate stayed calm, despite the biting criticism implied in Alexis' question.

"Alexis, this is _real_, what's happening between us. And I _will_ get another job. I don't know what yet, but I'm not _here_ too live off your father, if that's what you think. In fact, I'm going back to my own apartment in the morning."

Alexis frowned.

"Does dad know?"

"I told him, yes."

"How'd he take it?"

"He pouted."

Alexis laughed, and Kate relaxed a little.

"He didn't like it," Kate admitted. "But, for all of us…I think it's for the best."

"You mean for _me?_" said Alexis, looking a little embarrassed.

"Maybe. But, we all have adjustments to make here."

"And you think running away is the best way to do that? How can you work through things if you're apart? Wasn't that where you went wrong in the first place?"

Kate bit her lip. It seemed there was no winning this one – she was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

"You're smart. I'll give you that," said Kate. "And direct," she laughed.

"My dad would probably kill me for saying these things to you. But, if you love him like you say you do…then I'd rather you guys did this properly. Please don't leave on my account, Kate. Stay and help him. He's…I think he needs you here right now," confessed Alexis.

"And what about you? What do _you _need?"

Alexis thought for a second.

"I just want my dad back. The happy go lucky guy who believes in magic and zombies and fate. The optimist with the big heart. He's…he disappeared for a while. And I miss him," she said quietly.

"Me too," said Kate, patting Alexis' hand. "But he didn't go anywhere, Alexis. He just needs you and me to coax him back out. To let him see that things are going to be okay."

Alexis nodded slowly.

"You want some hot milk? Then maybe we can both get some sleep?" she suggested, hopping down off the stool.

Kate nodded her agreement, relieved that they'd maybe reached some kind of understanding between them.

"I'd like that, yes. We can figure everything else out tomorrow."

_A/N: People still seem to be having fun with this, so if you're still keen, I'll keep writing?_


	13. Chapter 13 An Empty Bed

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 13 – An Empty Bed_**

Somewhere around eight, Kate woke to a cold and empty bed. She stretched, rolled onto her side and slid a hand across the sheets expecting to feel her partner, but…_nothing_. She opened her eyes and looked around. The bedroom was empty, the door to the en suite lay open, and Castle was nowhere to be seen.

When she pressed her face to his pillow searching for traces of him – the scent of lemon verbena cologne mixed with that expensive hair product he used – the silky Egyptian cotton was cool under her cheek indicating that he'd been up for some time. She flopped over onto her back, smiling, one arm thrown across her face. They were doing this. They really were.

The smell of bacon frying drifted into the bedroom, and had her mouth watering in seconds, and then her stomach joined in, rumbling with hunger. He was making breakfast, making _them_ breakfast. Kate smiled secretly at the thought, excitement flickering inside her, making her heart race. This was what they had been missing out on all this time. And now it just felt wonderful.

She sat up, suddenly fully awake and eager to see him. Eager to run her hands all over him - in his kitchen, in his hallway, in his bedroom…wherever and whenever she could.

Her body, on the other hand, had ideas of its own. The second day after a tough workout or a punishing takedown was always the worst. The day that her muscles protested, her limbs felt aching and heavy, her head too great a burden for her neck to carry, and after her fight with Maddox, today was that day.

Kate groaned when her feet hit the floor and her thigh muscles contracted painfully. Her buttocks complained when she stood up, though sex with Castle may have had something to do with that particular ache. Once fully upright she rolled her shoulders back gently, then stretched her arms gingerly out to the side, only succeeding in raising them halfway above her head before the pain got too much.

After a quick visit to the bathroom and a freshen up with Castle's toothbrush, she was ready to go and find him. The bruises around her neck looked worse in the mirror today, and she knew that in pained him to see them. But they had made a promise to hide nothing from one another, so she twisted her hair into a loose bun and headed for the kitchen.

* * *

His back was turned to her while he worked at the stove. Sneaking up on him was temping, but ultimately dangerous. So Kate decided it might be wiser to announce herself.

"Morning," she called out, delighted by the broad smile he greeted her with when he turned around.

"Morning, yourself. I didn't waken you, did I?" he asked, lifting the pan off the burner to come round to meet her.

"No. I…" Kate hesitated, as he reached her, wrapping his arms around her body, while she reached for his waist.

"I woke up and you were gone," she said, burying her face in the fabric of his tee shirt, a red one she suddenly realized. One she hadn't seen before.

"Did you miss me?" asked Castle, delighted by clingy, sleepy Kate.

"You changed your shirt," she said dumbly, rubbing her cheek against his chest and ignoring his question.

"Someone was wearing mine when I woke up," he replied, tugging at the back of Kate's newly acquired tee.

"Oh. _Yeah_," she smiled, her fingers working up and down his spine distractedly.

"You were naked when we went to bed, Kate. Did you get dressed in the middle of the night?" he asked, puzzled.

"I may have woken up, yes. And I went to get some water in the kitchen. Your shirt was lying there, so…"

"Okay. But you haven't answered my question, Kate. Stop avoiding," he flexed his fingers on her waist making her squirm. "Did you miss me," he whispered against her hair, "when you woke up in that big bed all alone?"

"Might have. Just a little," she admitted, hiding her flushed cheeks against his neck. "But you tell anyone I said that…"

"I know. I know, instant castration," he joked.

"Eh…I wouldn't go that far," said Kate, amusement lacing her voice.

"Oh? What's caused this sudden change of heart?" he asked, skimming his lips over her ear.

"You fishing for compliments, Castle?"

"You know you want me," he whispered, brushing his mouth against her neck, and sucking lightly on her skin.

Kate laced her fingers through his hair, pressing her pelvis against his hips. She let her head fall back to expose more of her neck to him, groaning when his tongue made contact with her skin.

"Morning," he mumbled against her throat, pulling back to get himself under control.

"Morning," she breathed back, allowing him the freedom to move away a little, watching him with amusement.

"Can I interest you in some breakfast before it goes cold and I drag you back to bed…hungry?"

"Oh, I'm hungry, alright," she teased.

"Kate," he warned, turning her by the shoulders and propelling her ahead of him towards the kitchen.

"Speaking of. I found a couple of mugs and a milk pan in the sink this morning. "Were you snacking with an imaginary friend in the middle of the night?"

"An imaginary friend, Castle? _Really?_" asked Kate, spinning round to look at him.

"_Well?_"

"I might have had a little trouble sleeping, but I only got up for some water. Alexis came downstairs _and_ we had a little chat. She warmed some milk for both of us, and then we went back to bed. End of."

Castle was standing listening to her, leaning over the counter where Kate had settled herself on a stool.

"_You_ and Alexis? Having a midnight feast together? Without _me?_" he squeaked.

"Rick, I'd hardly call a cup of hot milk and a cookie a midnight feast," she soothed, completely amused by his reaction.

"There were _cookies_?" he exclaimed, eyes widening even further.

"_Dork_," said Kate, throwing a napkin at him.

Castle grasped his chest as if wounded, reaching down to pick the napkin off the floor.

"Anyway, you missed the most important part?" said Kate, trying to regain his attention.

"You didn't have cake too?" he gasped, hamming it up until Kate rolled her eyes.

"_No_," she said tolerantly, waiting for him to calm down. "_Better_."

"Better than cake? What's better than cake?"

"_Castle_," sighed Kate, letting him know she was serious.

"I'm sorry. You were saying," he said, leaning across the counter to listen to her.

"We talked."

"You…you _talk_ talked?" he asked, suddenly all ears. "In the middle of the night?"

"Yes. Your kid is _fierce_," said Kate, reaching for the bowl of strawberries Castle had put in front of her. "_Smart _and fierce."

"Oh my god. Are you okay? I mean, what did she say? Are we…" he looked stricken, panicked.

"We're good, Castle. Don't worry. I handled it. She…she just had some questions. Some _concerns_."

"About _you_?"

"About…my timing, and my intentions, I suppose."

"Your _intentions_?" he repeated, his worried expression breaking into a wide grin. "I thought that was the talk your _dad _would be having with _me_."

"Yeah, well, seems your daughter kind of had the idea first."

Castle covered his face with his hands and cringed.

"Kate, I'm _so_ sorry. I'll have a word with her. She had no right putting you on the spot like tha…what did you say?" he asked quickly.

"I told her about my resignation, about what happened with Maddox, and how it put everything into perspective," said Kate quietly. "She's worried about you. I told her there was no need. We'd fix it together."

"And she accepted that?"

"She seemed to. We had our milk and agreed that everything else could wait until morning."

"And you're still going home?" he asked, the look of disappointment already on his face.

"I have to," said Kate gently. "Can't bum around in your underwear all day," she added, catching his eye and hoping for a smile.

Kate reached for another strawberry and popped it into her mouth.

"Why don't we have breakfast and then you can drive me to my apartment?" she suggested.

"Spin out our time together?" he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Something like that," nodded Kate, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

* * *

They ate breakfast quietly, largely because Kate's attempts at conversation were thwarted by a distinct lack of enthusiasm on Castle's part. He wasn't moody per se, simply a man in love who was acting as if his sweetheart were being shipped overseas for six months, and not just going back to her own apartment in the same city.

"How're you feeling today? Still in pain?" he finally managed, raising his game a little.

"Yeah. Day two. It's always worse," confessed Kate. "Should start to ease a little tomorrow."

Castle got a faraway look in his eyes, and Kate guessed what he was thinking, because she was thinking it too. _'What would tomorrow bring for them? When would they see one another again? How should they do this?'_ None of the answers to these questions were immediately obvious.

Castle stayed silent, and Kate followed his lead, chewing on her lip while she churned things over.

Alexis appeared downstairs, dressed for the day in jeans and a tee shirt, her hair lying long and straight over her shoulders.

"Morning, pumpkin," Castle greeted her, kissing her on her forehead. "Sleep well?" he asked, watching as she flicked her gaze to Kate, whose face remained impressively neutral.

"Yes, you?" she asked, deciding not to mention her nocturnal interrogation of his girlfriend, if Kate was letting her off the hook.

When Castle turned away to plate up some breakfast for her, Alexis looked at Kate and mouth the word '_thanks'_ before sitting down beside her.

"I left your clothes on the bed," said Castle, when Kate got up to go and shower. "Your shirt…I eh...I _think_ I got most of the wrinkles out," he said, turning away when he felt both Alexis and Kate's eyes on him.

"You washed and ironed my clothes?" asked Kate, clearly delighted.

When he nodded silently, his back still turned to the room while he fiddled needlessly with something in the sink, Kate came up behind him and smoothed a hand down his back.

"Hey," she said softly, tugging on his waist to turn him around to face her. "Thank you. Castle, that was really thoughtful," she added sincerely, kissing him thoroughly on the mouth.

Alexis was studying her cereal with near scientific interest when Kate turned back around and headed for the bedroom.

"Is Kate going home today?" she asked, careful not to betray any of their private conversation.

"Seems that way, yes," confirmed Castle, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

"I'm sorry, dad," said Alexis, reaching up to give her father a hug.

"Not your fault, sweetie," he said generously, rubbing her back. "We're doing okay. Don't worry," he added, more to convince himself than anything.

* * *

Kate was toweling her hair dry when he entered the bathroom, warm swirls of steam leaking out of the door when he opened it. The heat curled around him.

"Looks worse than it is," reassured Kate, when she saw him staring at the darkened bruises peppering her body.

The mirrors in his bathroom gave him a full 360-degree view of her body, exposing back, front and sides to scrutiny all at once.

"I hope so, Kate. 'Cause how it looks…" he trailed off, scrubbing a hand across his face with a grimace.

Kate wrapped her hair in the towel and came forward to take his hand.

"I'm sore. I won't pretend otherwise. But you didn't do this to me, Castle. You tried to warn me, remember, and I didn't listen. So, I did it to myself," she said, kissing his jaw as she nuzzled in against him, encouraging him to wrap his arms around her to make him feel better.

"Now, how about you shower, caveman," she teased, pushing herself off his body reluctantly.

Kate was dressed and sitting waiting for him on the bed when he finally emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and shaved.

"You waited for me?" he asked, eyes lighting up at the sight of her.

"You're my ride, Castle," she joked, tugging at the towel around his waist. "Where was I going to go?"

"Anymore of that, and we won't be talking about my car," he said, holding the towel together so he could fetch some underwear from the dresser.

Kate laughed freely, pleased to see that his mood had lifted a little.

"Who says I meant your car, stud?" she fired back.

Castle gasped and whirled round to look at her, his eyes dancing.

"Did you just say…" he beamed, stalking towards her.

Kate squealed as he reached for her, and twisted away from his grasp.

"You're gonna get me all wet," she moaned.

Castle let out a dirty, throaty laugh.

"_Shut up_. Not what I meant, and you know it. Your hair is dripping on the floor, Rick," she said, holding him at arms length.

"So maybe I should just remove my towel and use that, huh?" he asked, tugging on the terrycloth fabric.

Kate's face flushed, but she was unable to tear her eyes away as he slowly removed his towel. She felt herself getting warm, and she shifted on the bed, unconsciously licking her lips.

Castle stared her down, mischief and desire sparking in his eyes at her obvious discomfort. He was shamelessly trying to turn her on, and it was working. And the more turned on he could see her become, the more obviously aroused it made him.

Kate ran a hand through her hair more to stop herself reaching for him that anything else.

"I…" her mouth was suddenly dry, and all she could do was swallow and stare. "I should probably go wait next door. See if Alexis needs help," she muttered, trying to drag her eyes away from his naked, very naked body.

"Help?" asked Castle, confused.

"Yeah…with _anything,_" added Kate, frowning at her own stupidity, and jerking her head towards the door.

"Okay," Castle said slowly. "If you must," he added, baffled.

Kate got up to leave the room, turning her back on Castle's rapidly deflating ego.

"Kate, are we okay?" he asked, picking the damp towel up off the floor to re-cover himself.

Her eyes flicked over him once more, and he caught the regretful look lingering there.

"We're great. I just…I should really go home, Castle," she said quietly, and then he understood.

She was having as much trouble with this as he was, going home to her empty apartment, leaving them when they had just started. But she was trying to do the right thing, for him and his daughter. His heart swelled with love for her.

"Wait for me out there. I won't be long," he said, hope flaring in his chest.

* * *

The ride to her apartment was silent. Stuck in midmorning traffic, Kate stared out the window while Castle nudged the car forward a yard or two at a time. Their usual mix of radio, or Castle's running commentary on all things New York, had been suspended for the day, and it was painfully noticeable to both of them.

Kate was twisting her fingers nervously in her lap, and Castle had to resist the urge to reach across and still her hands.

"You coming up?" she asked hopefully, when he pulled up to the curb outside her apartment building.

"Sure. If you want me to?" he replied, suddenly feeling awkward again, like that first morning when they had taken a bath together, only with more clothes this time.

Kate pulled her keys out of her pocket in the elevator, jingling them anxiously in her hand as it climbed the floors.

She managed to focus enough to get her key in the lock and fumble open the door, snagging his hand and drawing him in behind her. He could feel her cool fingers shaking.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked, gently turning her around to face him.

She nodded, leading him over to her sofa and gently pressing him down by the shoulder to sit.

"Being back here…it just…I was thinking about all the things we could have missed out on. That's all," she explained.

Castle tugged her down to sit beside him.

"But we didn't. We won't. I promise," he said, kissing her softly, one hand at her neck.

Kate nodded again, and took a deep breath.

"And…this is the first time I've been outside since I came to your loft two days ago," she admitted. "And we don't know where he is, Castle." Her voice had a plaintive tone to it that he'd rarely heard before.

His eyes widened, alarm and understand sparking in them.

"Are you…are you _afraid_, Kate?"

"I've never gone up against power like that before. I'd be mad not to feel something," she said, patting his hand in reassurance. "But I'm not a cop anymore. They must know that by now. So I'm no longer a threat to them," she added, her face brightening the more she chose to belief her own words.

Castle squeezed her hand. He looked bereft, and something inside of her shifted.

"Let's hope you're right," he said, smoothing a curl away from her face.

Kate stood up suddenly, her hand on his shoulder.

"Make yourself at home. I'm just…I'm going to go…change," she mumbled, tilting her head towards the bedroom.

She sank down on her bed, her head in her hands, just breathing in and out for a few seconds while she got her thoughts in order.

Alexis had told her it was okay. In fact, Alexis had accused her of running away if she went back to her own apartment. Castle's daughter wanted her around to help her father heal, to make sure this new thing between them worked. Maybe Kate could give them both what they wanted, she thought, as she got up to pull a black nylon sports bag out of her closet.

* * *

Ten minutes later, and Castle was pacing the floor of her apartment when she exited the bedroom dragging the bag behind her.

"Help a lady with her luggage?" she asked, seeing Castle's startled expression as he stopped in his tracks to stare at her.

"I thought you were staying here?" he said, frowning with incomprehension.

"Tired of having me at the loft already?" teased Kate, pretty sure what his answer would be.

"But, Alexis…"

"Is fine with it," filled in Kate, dropping her bag to come closer to him. "When we talked last night…she thinks I should be with you right now. She wants her dad back, Rick," said Kate, tears glistening in her eyes.

He closed the distance between them in two quick strides, wrapping her up in his arms.

"_Please?_" he intoned, his voice cracking with emotion. "Please come home with me, Kate?"

She hugged him tightly, feeling the burn as her muscles protested but not caring.

"I'm not doing this because I'm scared," she whispered earnestly against his lapel. "I need you to know that."

"Then do it because _I'm_ scared," confessed Castle, drawing a laugh from her as he held her tighter.

"How about I just do it because I haven't had nearly enough of your sinful bed or waking up next you?" she said to him, smiling as she nudged her nose against his neck.

"That'd work for me," he replied, cradling her face in his hands, his thumbs sweeping gentle strokes across her cheekbones until her eyes reopened and they smiled at one another.

"We're screwed, aren't we?" said Kate, grinning up at him like a crazy person.

"Totally," he agreed with joyful delight, swooping down to claim her mouth for one long, hot, breathtaking kiss.

When they broke apart, Kate had to steady herself against his chest to catch her breath and regain her balance.

"Now where's that bag?" asked Castle, looking around, his heart pounding with excitement. "'Cause I'm taking you home."

_A/N: Amazing number of reviews. Thank you. I really appreciate your comments and encouragement. And it's true what they say – it does make you write faster!_


	14. Chapter 14 Transitioning

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

_**Previously:** "I thought you were staying here?" he said, frowning with incomprehension._

"_Tired of having me at the loft already?" teased Kate, pretty sure what his answer would be._

"_But, Alexis…"_

"_Is fine with it," filled in Kate, dropping her bag to come closer to him. "When we talked last night…she thinks I should be with you right now. She wants her dad back, Rick," said Kate, tears glistening in her eyes._

_He closed the distance between them in two quick strides, wrapping her up in his arms._

"_Please?" he intoned, his voice cracking with emotion. "Please come home with me, Kate?" _

_Kate hugged him tightly, feeling the burn as her muscles protested but not caring._

"_I'm not doing this because I'm scared," she whispered earnestly against his lapel. "I need you to know that."_

"_Then do it because I'm scared," confessed Castle, drawing a laugh from her as he held her tighter._

"_How about I just do it because I haven't had nearly enough of your sinful bed and waking up next you?" she said to him, smiling as she nudged her nose against his neck._

"_That'd work for me," he replied, cradling her face in his hands, his thumbs sweeping gentle strokes across her cheekbones until her eyes reopened and they smiled at one another._

"_We're screwed, aren't we?" said Kate, grinning up at him like a crazy person._

"_Totally," he agreed with joyful delight, swooping down to claim her mouth._

_When they broke apart, Kate steadied herself against his chest to catch her breath._

"_Now where's that bag?" he asked, looking around. "'Cause I'm taking you home."_

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 14 – Transitioning_**

The ride back to Castle's loft was an altogether happier and noisier affair. He put the top down on the Ferrari, cranked the radio up, and they sang at full volume, while driving along West Broadway, to Abba's _Waterloo_.

Castle harmonized, taking all the high parts, and Kate threw her head back against the leather headrest, laughing at his screechy falsetto. She closed her eyes as a shaft of sunlight appeared from behind a cloud, momentarily blinding her.

"Just what _was_ that in your refrigerator?" asked Castle, when they pulled up to a red light, and several tourists stopped to stare at the _surely_ famous couple in the red hot car.

He squeezed her thigh when she groaned with embarrassment and covered her face with her hands.

They'd cleared out the few items of perishable food she'd been holding hostage in her refrigerator for goodness know how long, watered a couple of plants that looked as if they were due to receive the late rites anyway, and then firmly locked the door behind them.

"Shut up. Never mind," laughed Kate, swatting his hand away.

"You don't _know_, do you?" he chuckled with amusement. "It's not that you _won't_ tell me, it's that you _can't,_" he gasped in realization.

"I said, be quiet, _Castle_," warned Kate, poking him in the ribs. "Concentrate on the road."

"Or?" he asked, glancing quickly over at her.

"_Or_…or you might have to forgo an afternoon nap today," she threatened.

"Driving," he said quickly, "with one hundred percent concentration. Eyes on the road and _everything_."

Kate laughed and her cheeks pinked up.

"I think I remember leaving a tub of hummus in there a couple of weeks ago," she confessed, giggling with embarrassment.

"You just ruined hummus for me…_forever,_" he groaned, covering his mouth with his hand and pretending to gag. "I thought you'd cultured a cure for Mono," he added, leaning away from her when her fingers threatened his side again.

They were still laughing when Kate's phone began to ring in the inside pocket of her jacket. A serious look flashed across her face when she reached for it. They'd been in this little cocoon they'd constructed together over the last couple of days, a protective bubble where the outside world couldn't touch them, and now…

"It's okay, Kate. Go ahead and answer it," encouraged Castle, seeming to understand her reluctance.

She looked at the screen.

"It's Javi," she said, biting her lip nervously. "What should I do?"

"Answer it," he said again, softly, squeezing her knee.

Kate nodded and tapped the screen.

"Hi Javi. How're things?" she said, trying to sound bright and nowhere near as uptight as she felt.

She cringed at her opening gambit. He'd been put on administrative leave because of her – suspended – and she'd left him in the dark after she'd resigned and walked out of the precinct with just a small box of possessions, but without so much as an explanation or a backward glance. She owed him so much for having her back, and yet she'd left him to fend for himself, no justification, no apology, nothing. And now this was the best she could do – _'how're things?_'

When he replied, he sounded distant, far away.

"Just thought I'd check in with you, Beckett. When I didn't hear anything…"

Kate sighed.

"I'm sorry, Javi. I really am."

She seemed to be saying that a lot these days. She looked over at Castle, and he nodded at her, encouraging.

"I'm…I'm with Castle, we're heading to the loft. Want to meet us there?" she asked, the words tumbling out in one great rush. "We could have lunch?" she suggested, looking at her partner to see that he was okay with that.

Castle nodded again and squeezed her hand, a grateful smile on his face. They hadn't talked about how they would break their relationship to family and friends. Kate had kind of assumed that now Lanie knew, word would just spread like wildfire amongst her former colleagues. But judging by Javi's stunned silence, she had been wrong about her friend's ability to keep a secret, even from him.

"Javi? You still there?" prompted Kate, when he failed to answer her.

"Yeah. That's…that's good, Beckett. I'm pleased you and Castle…"

He didn't seem to know what to say.

"That he's…uh…back on the team," he mumbled.

"Yeah, he's on the team _alright_," said Kate, watching Castle's face light up with a delighted smile. "So, lunch? You free?"

Esposito hesitated.

"Beckett, you guys are probably busy. We can do this another time. Really."

Kate could hear the awkwardness in his voice, his reluctance to butt in to whatever was going on between them. But she owed her little work family just as much as she owed her partner.

"_So_…not the loft maybe. Just you and me…Remy's?" she asked hopefully, mouthing the word 'sorry' at Castle, who shook his head to let her know that he understood.

Kate was coming home to stay with him for…well he wasn't sure how long. For good, if he had anything to say about it. But tonight, they'd hang out, eat dinner, and go to bed together. And tomorrow morning she'd be there, in his bed when he woke up. It didn't get any better than that. So he could stand to lose her for an hour or two this afternoon to Javier Esposito. The guy had Kate's back even when he hadn't, and so Castle owed him.

Esposito cleared his throat.

"I could use a catch-up, Beckett," he confessed. "How about I see you at Remy's a one?"

"One would be perfect," said Kate, laying a hand on Castle's forearm in relief.

"Great. See you guys there," said Javi, ringing off.

Kate turned to look at Castle, who was maneuvering the car down the ramp into his underground parking garage.

"He said he'd see us there at one."

"But…I thought…"

"Yeah, I know," said Kate.

They had started up their strange brand of communication again without even realizing it, skipping words and reading each other's minds.

"But that's what he said, 'see you guys there'," she repeated.

"Remy's it is then," said Castle. "Unless…would you rather meet him alone?" he asked Kate, worried he'd jumped in where he wasn't wanted.

"No. No. Not at all. I gave him the option to meet me alone and he didn't take it. No, I'd rather you came with me, if that's okay with you?"

"We need to stop tip-toeing, Kate," said Castle, swiveling in his seat to look at her now that they were parked up. "If it was up to me, I wouldn't let you out of my sight again. _There_ – cards on the table. And I don't care if I sound clingy and pathetic."

"You used GPS to track your daughter, Rick. I think I know a little of how your mind works where the people you care about are concerned."

"_And_…is that going to be a problem for you?"

"I think I'll deal," she said, grinning at him before she threw open the car door.

When she turned around, Castle was still sitting in his seat, strapped in and smiling.

"You comin', Castle?" she threw over her shoulder.

"Sure. Sure," he mumbled, scrambling to get out of the low-slung sports car once he came out of his little trance.

"Don't forget my bag," Kate yelled after him, striding towards the elevator.

"_Yes, Ma'am!_" he called out, mock saluting her retreating back.

"I _heard_ that," she yelled in reply, holding the elevator doors until he could catch up.

* * *

Alexis was lounging on the couch when Castle opened up the front door and they strolled in together, carrying the large sports bag between them.

"What have you _got_ in here?" asked Castle, dropping his end on the floor so that Kate was forced to do the same.

"You're seriously asking me that already?" asked Kate, arching her eyebrow at him, her hands on her hips. "Novelty wearing thin?"

"Eh, hi?" said Alexis, tentatively, standing up to greet them. "Did you decide…I mean…does this mean…" she hesitated, eyes on Kate's bag.

"I've decided to stay here for…well…"

Kate looked at Castle, who was positively beaming. "For now, anyway," she said, taking her partner's hand and giving it a quick squeeze. "I hope you're okay with that, Alexis? When we talked last night…what you said made a lot of sense. So, I'm…this is kind of on you," she added, running a nervous hand through her hair and smiling at Castle's daughter.

"I think you're doing the right thing," the girl said maturely. "Thank you."

After that cautious welcome, Alexis came over to give her father a hug, following it up with a quick hug for Kate too.

"Do you guys want some lunch?" she asked, quickly moving the discussion on to safer ground, to cover up any awkwardness.

"Thanks, pumpkin. But we're meeting Javi for lunch today," explained Castle. "He and Kate have a few things to discuss. But how about if the three of us go out for dinner tonight?" he suggested, eager to keep the improved dynamic between the two women going.

"About your resignation and that guy that got away?" Alexis asked, ignoring her father's invitation, and turning to address Kate instead.

Castle looked momentarily stunned that his daughter appeared to know more about this than he did, and then he remembered the discussion Kate had told him they'd had during the night.

"Yes. About that, and…and the events I told you about yesterday," said Kate, nodding at Alexis.

"Okay. Tell Javi I said hi," she said breezily, seemingly satisfied with that explanation.

Alexis headed for the kitchen to prepare herself some lunch, leaving Kate and Castle standing in the middle of the floor with the large bag at their feet.

* * *

"Okay, so I have a stack of pesky hangers, and I've cleared you space in my closet. I'll empty more drawers when we get back from lunch," Castle promised, dumping the tangled pile of hangars on the bed. "Toiletries?" he asked, holding his hand out for Kate's wash bag as she knelt on the floor in front of her bag.

"Castle," Kate said gently, standing, and then backing him up to the edge of the bed and pushing him down by his shoulders until he was seated. "Relax, will you? I'm not going anywhere."

Kate kissed him gently on the lips as he drew her in to stand between his legs. She regarded him tenderly.

"Too much?" he asked, laying his hands on her waist.

His heart raced at the nearness of her, her wonderful scent, being able to touch her like this…just all of it…the amazing wonder of everything she was giving him. All the perfect things he'd long given up on.

"I little. But it's okay," she soothed, pressing her forehead to his and looking into his eyes. "It'll get easier," she promised. "We'll get better at it. We're just…" she searched for the right word, "_transitioning_."

She laughed at her own choice of word. One that sounded so much like psychobabble Dr. Burke might have said it.

"Transitioning?" asked Castle, an amused glint in his eye.

"Yeah. Comes right before nesting, and after…hmm…blind panic and desperation."

She laughed again.

"I like it," said Castle, repeating the word and feeling it roll of his tongue. "But I like the sound of nesting better."

Kate laughed, shoving him in the chest to free herself so she could unpack more before they had to leave for Remy's.

"Yeah, I thought you might. You're…"

She smiled indulgently as she refolded a sweater, and then glanced up at him.

"Predictable?" offered Castle, sifting through the small pile of lingerie she'd dumped on top of the bed.

Kate shook her head in amusement, watching him investigate her underwear with unparalleled interest. He was in heaven, if the vacant grin on his face was anything to go by.

"No. I was going to say sweet. You're sweet, Castle," she said shyly, taking her underwear from him to put in the drawer he'd freed up for her.

"Is that like sappy?" he asked, "but you're trying to spare my feelings? 'Cause I can take it, Beckett."

"No, I don't think you're sappy, Castle. Just sweet, and thoughtful, and occasionally annoying," she smiled, offering him her hand. "We should really get going. I don't want to keep Javi waiting. Too many cops use Remy's, and I don't want to leave him on his own to have to answer any awkward questions," she explained.

"Speaking of awkward questions," he said, as they headed for the door. "What do you want to tell him about…_you know_…"

"You and me?" prompted Kate, amused by Castle's sudden bout of inarticulacy.

"Yeah, that."

She could see how desperate he was not to push her. How carefully he was treading, letting her make the pace, trying to make sure she was comfortable with everything. And while it was sweet of him, it made her uncomfortable to see him holding back just because she had issues.

"I know you're trying not to make a mistake here," said Kate, stopping him in his office with a hand to his elbow before they ran into Alexis. "But, Castle, I need you to know that I'm not about to bolt, and I won't break, and…just…be yourself for me, okay?"

Castle nodded wordlessly, too grateful to her for the way she was handling this, _them_, _him_, to say anything. But he felt the strain ease a little.

"Remember who I fell in love with? That guy. Just be him," she said, reassuring him with a light press of her lips to his mouth, "and you'll do fine. Now let's go find Espo. I have some more apologizing to do," she sighed, taking Castle by the hand.

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews and the (mostly) gentle nudges to just get on with it. You know who you are! I appreciate every message. Promise the next chapter will be up quicker._


	15. Chapter 15 Javier Part 1

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 15 – Javier Part 1_**

When they reached Remy's, Esposito was already there. He was ensconced in a booth in the back right hand corner of the restaurant nursing a mug of coffee. A waitress Kate knew by sight, though not by name, had slipped into the booth, and was sitting opposite him shooting the breeze. She jumped to her feet when Kate and Castle approached the table, alerted to their arrival by the sharp jerk of Esposito's head and the new darkness in his eyes.

"Detective Beckett. Mr. Castle," she said, smiling warmly at both of them. Though a slight frown showed that she'd been thrown off kilter by the unusually subdued atmosphere between the three. "Just keeping your seats warm until you got here. Javier ordered coffee," she added, giving Esposito a beaming smile, "Can I get you some?" she asked, indicating the half-full, Bunn-O-Matic carafe she was carrying.

"Sure," replied Castle solicitously, as he ushered Kate into the booth ahead of him.

He was rewarded by a winsome grin from the somewhat homely waitress, whose name appeared to be Kerry-Ann, Kate noted, according to her nametag. She smoothed her apron down and looked expectantly at Kate.

"Eh…just cranberry juice for me," said Kate, edging her way into the banquette.

She felt jittery enough having to face Esposito without adding more caffeine into the mix.

Once they were settled, Kate and Castle on one side of the table and Esposito on the other, the atmosphere was what could only be described as stilted.

Esposito looked Kate over, taking in the obvious bruises to her throat and neck, the dark purple rings around both wrists, and, by contrast, the new light in her eyes.

"You guys look…" he trailed off, and looked down at his hands.

Then he picked a plastic stirrer up off the table, and began dragging it through a little mound of sugar Kate was sure he has deliberately dumped onto the tabletop just to amuse himself, because Javier Esposito didn't take sugar in his coffee. Lanie had been known to say that he was sweet enough, when she was in a good mood. And the fact that Kate knew this about him, this simple, yet almost intimate detail, pained her. They'd worked side-by-side for years, existed in and around each other's lives, and now it felt as if that Formica table may as well be The Gulf of Mexico for all the warmth she felt coming from her friend.

"Javi…" she began, fidgeting with her own fingers now. She looked down and then back up again, forcing herself to face him. "I'm so sorry."

The words came out so quietly, and so broken up, that Castle had to strain to hear them. He watched Esposito lean forward across the table to catch what Kate had said, and then he reached under the table to squeeze her hand to remind her that he was right there beside her, supporting her.

"I should have called you…before now. Before you got a chance to call me first. I'm sorry," she said again, and then let out a hollow laugh. She glanced at Castle, and then looked back at her colleague. "I seem to be saying that a lot lately," she added, squeezing Castle's fingers in return.

"How're you feeling? I mean…" he gestured towards the injuries he could see, "did you see someone? A doctor or…?"

"Lanie came over yesterday," Kate said quietly, reaching up unconsciously to touch her neck.

"Oh," said Esposito, nodding solemnly.

"Yeah, she eh…I was…"

Kate looked at Castle. He could see that she was floundering, that this conversation was taking her back to the nightmare of the fight for her life on that rooftop. Awkwardness was coming off Esposito in waves, and it was affecting Kate's ability to explain the last two fraught and emotional days.

"Kate was in a lot of pain. We were worried something might be wrong. So I asked Lanie to come and take a look at her," explained Castle calmly, stepping in to help ease the way.

"But you're okay, right?" asked Esposito earnestly, a flare of concern leaping out of nowhere.

"Yes," nodded Kate, grateful for his interest. "Bruised, well, just about everywhere, including my spleen which was what was causing the pain. But I've been good. I've been okay. Haven't I?" she asked, turning automatically to Castle for confirmation.

Her partner looked at her with what could only be described as complete and utter adoration, and if there had been any doubt before now how close these two had become, it was washed away with that single look.

"So…you guys are…_good_?" asked Esposito, ever the big brother, ever the macho man, no pretty words to confirm what was so blatantly obvious.

"Yeah, Javi," Kate nodded, squeezing Castle's bicep so that Esposito could see the gesture. "We're good," she said, giving her partner a beaming smile, just a hint of a blush warming her cheeks.

Kate dropped her hand and tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"He played hardball there for a while. It was touch and go. But I ground him down," she joked, watching a flicker of a smile ease the tension in Esposito's face.

"Sounds like you went to bat for the team, my man," said Javi, holding out his fist to bump with Castle's. "But seriously, bro, I'm pleased for you guys. Been a long time comin'. But you got there in the end. Huh?"

"That we did, Javi. That we did," said Castle, leaning over to bump shoulders playfully with Kate. "And thanks," he said to Esposito, "for having her back when I was too stupid and too stubborn…"

Kate cut in sharply.

"Rick_, no!_ If anyone was stubborn it was me. You warned me not to chase this thing, and I didn't listen. I put Javi in danger, I put myself in danger...You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? _Nothing_," she repeated, shaking her head as fear crowded in around her once more, passing up through her body like a shiver – the 'what ifs' and the 'nearlys' taunting her waking thoughts now too. The adrenalin was gone, that rush of endorphins from her first coupling with Castle - gone. Only stark reality remained, and with it all the terrible ways that this could all have ended so differently.

"Am I witnessing your first actual fight or is this just business as usual?" asked Esposito, amused by their tit-for-tat exchange.

"Business as usual," they said concurrently, turning to grin at one another the minute the words were out of their mouths, completely fracturing the tension.

"Thank god. Order is restored," sighed Javi, sinking back in the booth.

The waitress appeared back with their drinks and three menus.

"You guys know what you want already? 'Cause I'm pretty sure y'all could recite that menu in your sleep by now?"

Kate's mouth felt like the bottom of a hamster cage, and her stomach was turning as if the goddamn hamster was already hiding inside, spinning furiously on his wheel. But for the sake of normalcy, she ordered a burger and fries. Castle ordered a cheeseburger, and Esposito took the Italian sausage sub.

* * *

"So…" said Esposito, once Kerry-Ann had left to place their orders. "You saw Lanie."

Kate nodded.

"She didn't tell you?"

"We uh…haven't been _communicating_ as well as you guys have lately."

"I'm sorry, Javi," said Kate. "But you spoke to her in the last couple of days, right? Because she said you told her about the suspension and my resignation?"

"After you left, I didn't know what to do…who to talk to," he admitted. "So I went to see Lanie. Old habits, I guess." He shrugged.

"What about Kevin? He was there when I left."

Esposito's jaw clenched rhythmically, and he gripped the cheap white coffee mug even tighter before taking another swig.

"He betrayed us to Gates, Beckett," said Esposito, his voice laced with bitterness and disappointment, his control pulled tight as a drum.

Kate swallowed hard and stared at him.

"Javi, he's your partner," she breathed, reaching a hand across the table to him, her fingers stretched out, long and slim.

When he didn't take it, Kate withdrew her hand back to the safety of her lap. She had enough backbone not to look hurt, though Castle knew she would feel the rejection keenly.

"Not anymore. I don't have a partner," he replied, his voice more of a low growl.

Kate let out a long, slow breath, and sank back against the booth. She crossed her arms over her chest in a protective move.

"No. Javi, no," she shook her head determinedly. "This is _not _how this ends," she said, raising her voice so that several heads turned to look her way from nearby tables. "I did this to _us_, to our team. _Me._ And I won't let my dumb, selfish choices ruin one of the best partnerships I've ever seen on the job."

Castle shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He found himself wishing that Kate had insisted on coming alone for this, or that Javi had at least agreed to meet them at the loft. Because doing this in public, in a diner so close to the One-Two was bound to end up with bit and pieces of this conversation reaching the ears of the Precinct gossips.

"I nearly lost Castle because of this insane crusade I was so fixated on. Do you know what that was like…for both of us?" asked Kate, briefly turning tear-filled eyes on her partner.

Esposito shook his head.

"You guys are different. Me and Ryan…it's not the same thing, Beckett."

"Sure it is," said Kate earnestly. "You telling me you wouldn't have tried to run this thing down for Kevin, the way you did for me, the exact same way Castle has these past few years? You guys have backed each other up when you disagreed before. Nothing ever got in the way of that. At the end of the day, you fight, you argue it out, god…throw a few punches if you have to. But fix this," hissed Kate.

"Ain't nothing left to fix, Beckett," replied Esposito calmly, shaking his head. "He ratted us out to the boss, got us suspended. End of. Loyalty is everything, Kate. You know that. Simple as. If you can't trust your partner, who can you trust?"

He tone was cold and dead, as if he didn't even care.

Castle couldn't take it anymore. He felt partly responsible for the current situation, and so he felt he had to have a shot at fixing it. But he'd been caught in the crossfire before where '_it's a cop thing_' was concerned, and once bitten twice shy.

Then he looked at his own partner and their friend. Kate and Esposito were engaged in a stare down, and knowing those two as well as he did, if someone didn't do something, this was going to take forever. So he took a deep breath and crossed his fingers.

* * *

"You're both missing the major point here," Castle interjected, interrupting the angry silence.

The pair broke eye contact to look at him, as if they'd forgotten he was even there.

"Kevin Ryan saved Kate's life two days ago. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't even _be_ here today. And for _me_, it doesn't get any simpler than that. I will _owe_ that guy until the day I die, 'cause that's a debt that can't ever be repaid. _Never_," whispered Castle, his voice low, shaking with emotion as the reality of his own words hit him.

He took a breath, and carried on.

"So you want to talk about _loyalty_, about _trust_, and _simplicity_, Espo? Well _that_ is the very definition for me – you guys were in trouble and Ryan did what was necessary to fix it. He acted in _your _best interests, and I'm telling you, I'd trust the guy with Alexis' life."

Kate clutched at Castle's hand under the table and squeezed hard, trying to communicate her gratitude for so many of the things he'd just said, but above all, for his efforts to help their friend by giving him a little clarity and perspective – a masculine route through this emotional quagmire.

"So if you're looking for a partner, you're _never_ gonna find one better than Kevin Ryan, Javi. Unless of course you count this one," he said, leaning over to kiss Kate on the cheek, "But she's already taken, my friend," he added, trying to lighten things. "And I _would_ fight you for her."

Kerry-Ann, ever cheerful and with legendary bad timing, arrived with their food right at that moment. Castle breathed a sigh of relief.

"Look, why don't we just eat?" suggested Kate. "We can talk more later."

They needed a breather, a chance to regroup. This thing was far from over.

Esposito looked from Kate to Castle and back, and then reluctantly nodded his head. He looked beaten, but at least he was listening.

_A/N: This discussion's going to be a long one, so I thought I'd split it in two. This seemed like a good place to pause. Any thoughts?_


	16. Chapter 16 Javier Part 2

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 16 – Javier Part 2_**

The hum and buzz of the diner carried on all around them. Waitresses took orders, served up food, the coffee machine's steady drip, drip continued regardless. Glasses were broken, milk spilt, eggs were cracked and omelets made – it was a microcosm, life in miniature, an allegory.

Every so often a high-pitched _ding _would announce that the short order chef needed service, and then the tables were turned again. And so it went on.

They ate, in silence at first, choking down mouthfuls, stuffing in mindless fries, washing down the whole mess of it, until gradually the words and the questions started to flow.

What did Kate do when she left the Precinct? Where did she go? Esposito wanted to know everything. Castle learned more about that missing day in half an hour than he had in the last two days put together. How Gates had demanded their badges and guns, told them they weren't fit to wear the uniform, that they'd dishonored the City and dishonored the badge.

Castle was furious. The Kate Beckett _he_ knew had given her life to that job. Maybe for personal reasons to begin with, but she'd done more to honor every victim, to support every family than _anyone_, the City included, had the right to expect. And she had done it without letting it warp her, corrupt her, or kill off her humanity.

They saw it everyday, and Kate had told him endless stories – the Vice cop who screwed more hookers, and for free, than the hapless Johns that he collared did in a year; the Robbery Homicide teams who made half their take disappear every time they recovered the proceeds of a heist; and the Narcotics guys in OCCB who ended their days more hopped up on drugs that the dealers and distributors they busted day-in-day-out.

Corruption in the police was rife. Turning a blind eye was a career choice. Rich pickings were there for the taking, salaries and pensions made temptation all the more difficult to resist, and the hours and the scum they had to deal with left no room for a life outside of work, or killed off whatever fragile situation most cops managed to establish.

Kate appeared to float above all of that. Her integrity had never been called into question, her honesty was an absolute given. Yes, she could be obsessive, tenacious to an unhealthy degree – but he'd told her that, and she seemed to accept now that it was true. But dishonor the badge? _Never_.

They dealt with the crap no one else wanted to face, and got nothing but criticism and abuse for their efforts ninety percent of the time. If you got honored for your work, there was a good chance you were already dead. Killed in the line of duty, a duty Captain Gates had deemed his partner unfit to perform.

Sure, they'd gone about things the wrong way this time, but that this rigid, emotionless harpy from IAB got to tell Kate Beckett that she wasn't fit to wear the uniform…? No. Castle shook his head silently. Just…_no_.

* * *

It was close to three by the time they ran out of steam, churning the same arguments over and over. Javier Esposito had his fair share of Latin heat in his temperament, and a doze of stubbornness big enough to rival Lanie's. So things weren't progressing very far.

He took Castle's point that without Ryan's intervention Kate would most likely be dead. But he took it reluctantly, unwilling to let go of some ridiculous fantasy he was harboring, that _he_, Javier, would have come round in time, and been able to save her himself.

This code of honor he seemed to be working to evidently made no room for life or death scenarios – you were in or you were out, you lived and died (it seemed) by this unwritten doctrine that included keeping silent at all costs, especially where the higher ups were concerned. To Castle is appeared as if Esposito saw Victoria Gates as more of an enemy than Cole Maddox, and to him that made no sense at all. Ryan had made the fatal error of breaking the code, and now he was out, and there was nothing they could say to change Javi's mind apparently.

Castle could feel a fire of fury being lit in his blood the longer this circular, pointless argument went on. The thought of losing Kate made him feel physically sick, and just listening to the two of them re-hash the events of two days ago made all of the images in his head far too real. The curse of having a writer's imagination came to the fore big time. He found himself surreptitiously checking Kate's fingertips, remembering the damaged nails he'd trimmed and filed after their bath. He saw such small details in a new and altogether more horrific light now that he'd heard the unexpurgated version of events.

Javi had missed the big denouement on the roof, and Kate took him through it, painstakingly, with a professional eye, sparing none of the ugly detail. Every kick, every punch, every goddam chokehold this guy had performed on her, seemed to feed Esposito's need to know more. Kate re-told it with no regard for Castle's sensibilities, as if he wasn't even present at the table, or as if he had become the kind of partner Ryan had been to Esposito – professional, caring, but ultimately in it for the job.

Maybe it was therapeutic. Maybe Dr. Burke would pat her on the back for '_talking it out'_, for '_sharing_'. What did he know? Only that, finally, it got to be too much. Castle had proved himself time and again, but where Kate was concerned he had his limits. He touched her knee lightly, and then slid out of the booth.

Kate looked up in surprise when he stood, the question in her eyes.

"Need some air," Castle grunted, by way of explanation.

He looked pale and tired, and Kate read his expression easily – the pain, the fear, the guilt, the haunting near miss – it was all there, written across his face.

"Rick?" She caught his hand just as he was about to walk away. "I'm sorry." She shook her head, and bit her lip. "We won't be long," she added, squeezing his hand, her eyes communicating something soft and tender.

Castle nodded, ducked his head, and walked to the door. Maybe it _was_ a '_cop thing'_ after all, a club he would never have become a member of, no matter how long he'd followed Kate Beckett around.

* * *

When he got out onto the sidewalk he took a gulp of fresh air and slumped back against the wall, letting the world flow past him for a minute. He had no plan other than to get out of there, to get away from talk of that rooftop, that man, and yet another near-death experience that had almost cost him everything.

'_She nearly died._ _Again!_' he wanted to yell at passersby. '_She nearly died, and I wasn't there to save her._' The words ran round inside his head, nearly choking him.

Like some strange subversion of survivor guilt, these thoughts plagued him. And there was Esposito, _daring_ to question Ryan's right to bring in the cavalry. _To save her life?_

His fingers curled into fists. If anyone was disloyal here, reckless, untrustworthy, it was Esposito - for going along with that stupid plan, encouraging Kate, ignoring protocol, and putting them both in danger.

Castle had travelled half a block before he realized he had even moved. Up ahead in the distance was the line of black and white's parked in front of the One-Two. He heard his name being called before he saw the source of the voice, and when he turned around he knew exactly who he'd find – pale, Irish eyes, like downturned quotation marks, looked up at him and smiled.

_A/N: This chapter took a direction I wasn't quite expecting. It turned into more of a Castle introspection, based on the things he learns from Kate and Javi's rehashing of those missing hours. I don't see this as the end of the Javi conversation by any means. _

_I'd love to hear what you thought?_


	17. Chapter 17 Kevin Ryan, Hero

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 17 – Kevin Ryan, Hero_**

"Castle, man," said Ryan, coming to a halt a few feet from the writer.

"Ryan," said Castle, his voice flooding with something like relief.

The writer took the two strides needed to reach the Irish detective, and then he pulled a startled Kevin Ryan into a clumsy, fierce hug.

"You okay?" asked Ryan with concern. He stumbled back a little when Castle let him go.

"Yeah. Yeah. Just…"

Castle scrubbed a hand down over his face, rasping the stubble along his jawline as his fingers moved across it.

Ryan watched him, made assumptions based on known information, just like they taught at the Academy – Kate had said Castle was 'off the team' last he heard; Kate had been calling out for Castle when Ryan had yanked her back up onto that roof, and her eyes had filled with disappointment when she realized the writer wasn't there, rather than relief at being saved; Castle looked like shit – so Ryan made assumptions.

"Man, look, I'm sure she'll come round. Give it time," he said, trying to console his friend. He reached up to pat Castle on the shoulder in a manly display of affection.

Castle looked puzzled. He replayed Ryan's words in his head. Then a grin split his face, and he clapped a by now completely bewildered Ryan on the back.

"Wait, you thought…?" Castle barked, starting to laugh a little hysterically as he shook off the stress of Remy's. "You thought…" he gasped.

"Man, are you okay?" asked Ryan, watching Castle slap his own thigh, and then lean over to rest his hands on his knees while he caught his breath, laughing at something only _he_ seemed to find funny.

"Kate's…it's fine. I mean good. It's good. We're good, if you know what I mean?" he said, somewhat cryptically.

"So you…you found her…after she left? I mean, resigned," asked Ryan, once Castle was fully upright and sober again.

He briefly wondered if the writer had been drinking. He did own a bar after all.

"Actually, _she_ found me," said Castle, a greatful calm coming over him as sharp, emotional memories, good memories, flooded back to him from that rain-soaked night, subsuming the recent horrors playing out in his head.

"And you guys are…_good_?" asked Ryan, in an oblique manner eerily reminiscent of Esposito's version of the same query.

"We're better than good, Kevin. And we couldn't have done it without you."

Ryan looked confused.

"What did I…?"

"You saved her life, man. You're a goddamn hero. And I'll never forget that. I owe you, Ryan. I owe you big time," said Castle, swallowing around the lump that had suddenly lodged in his throat.

"Yeah. Well. _Javi _doesn't seem that grateful," said Ryan, shaking his head, his brow knitting in disappointment. "The guy won't speak to me, won't even answer my calls. Gates is threatening to team me up with someone else…some guy from Podunk, Indiana, who's just transferring in. Might as well stick me with a rookie. Or hell, just send me off to teach kindergarten."

Castle felt so sorry for Ryan. The guy had done the right thing, and here he was being punished for it every which way.

"Can you…I mean do you have any say? About who you partner, I mean?" asked Castle.

"This is Gates we're talking about. What do _you_ think? She's not exactly known for her inclusive, 'let's all share the decision-making' management style. And since this thing with Beckett and Espo, she's been worse than usual. On our cases all the time, peering through those damn blinds to check what we're up to, demanding constant updates. It's like I just made detective, and she's waiting for me to stuff up."

"When will you know for sure?" asked Castle, yet again feeling like this was something he should try and fix.

"She's giving me a couple of weeks working alone. Indiana gets here next month. Failing that, there's a guy wants to move over from Vice. So either way, it's a done deal."

"Shit, man. I'm sorry," said Castle, clamping a large hand down on Ryan's shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

Ryan shrugged.

"Bullpen's not the same without you guys," he admitted, his eyes betraying some of the hurt and loneliness he was feeling. "Jenny says to give it time, Javi will come round…but I don't know. The guy can be pretty stubborn. I mean look at him and Lanie. She's the best woman he ever dated, and he's not exactly rushing to save _that_ relationship."

Castle looked uncomfortable.

"You don't agree?" asked Ryan, watching the writer's face intently, trying to figure out what he wasn't saying.

"No, Ryan. It's not that."

"Then what? You talk to him? He say something?" Ryan asked eagerly.

Castle scuffed the toe of his shoe across a chewing gum wrapper that had blown close to his feet. Once again he scrubbed a hand down over his eyes, his cheeks, his jaw. He felt tired. He felt old. And he owned this guy so much.

"He's with Kate right now. They're in Remy's," Castle confessed.

Ryan's face closed down, the hopeful light went out of his eyes, and Castle kicked himself for not handling this better.

"But Kevin, she's not picking sides here. That's not what this is," he said quickly, trying to reassure the Irish detective.

"Sure," said Ryan quietly, but his tone said that he didn't believe.

"Espo called _her_. He just wanted to check in. See that she was okay. That's all. Kate…I think she feels responsible for getting him suspended. We met for lunch and…"

"Cozy," muttered Ryan bitterly.

"Ryan, you have to believe me. I'm…I'm actually kinda furious with the guy right now. He put Kate in danger, and he's being kind of an ass about you stepping in, to save her life for god's sake. This is _not_ about taking sides. The reason I'm out in the street right now, instead of in there with them, is because I couldn't stand to listen to them re-hash this thing, over and over."

Ryan was listening, but Castle wasn't convinced he accepted what he had been told.

"You gotta believe me, Ryan. I'd do anything to fix this. To put the team back together…just…get things back to how they were."

"You've got to be pleased that Beckett's out for good though?"

"I'm not sure, Ryan. I mean, yeah…at first, when she told me I was shocked, for sure, and then delighted, I guess. But now I've had a little time to process it…I don't know. We haven't talked about what comes next. It's too soon. I like that, _hopefully_, she's out of danger. Away from her mom's case and all _that_ entailed. But…she's a _cop_, Kevin. Just like you. And I don't know if she knows how to _be_ without that. Without you guys and the job. I just don't know."

"You'll figure it out, Castle. She has you now. You'll get through it."

His generous statement touched Castle.

"Thanks, Kevin. I don't care what anybody says," he joked, trying to lighten things a little, "you're a good man. And a damn good friend."

"Yeah, well…shame not everyone thinks like you."

"Javi? I know. But, hell, if Kate came round, maybe Espo will too."

"You know, we should get together. Have a beer sometime," suggested Ryan, his mood brightening a little.

And somehow the offer made Castle extremely sad, as if he was saying goodbye to a really good friend. As if they had just made one of those polite promises neither party intends to keep.

"Sure," said Castle, stuffing his hands in his pockets to stop himself from hugging Ryan again, because this whole exchange was making him ridiculously emotional.

His four years with Kate, all the cases, the laughs, the good times with the guys – talking to Ryan made him realize that it was actually over, that there would be no more.

"Let's make a date. The four of us – you, me, Kate and Jenny," said Castle determinedly.

"That'd be great, man," replied Ryan, breaking out a genuine smile. "Jenny'd like that. She think's Kate's great. She's gonna be thrilled when I tell her about you guys."

"Then we'll do that real soon," nodded Castle, extending his hand for Ryan to shake.

Ryan took it, and then _he _pulled Castle into a hug this time, slapping his back as he did so.

"Well, I should really…" he gestured across the street to the spot where his Crown Vic was parked. "Got a canvas this afternoon, a couple of Unis waiting for me near Tompkins Square Park. Tell Beckett I said hi and to stay in touch. Her desk's waiting for her if she wants it. I'm sure Gates could be persuaded to overlook her resignation, if she ever felt like coming back."

Castle nodded, stepped back with a wave of his hand, and then turned to head towards Remy's. The lump was back in his throat as he walked away.

_A/N: This chapter made me a little sad. I just feel so sorry for Ryan. What do you think?_


	18. Chapter 18 Let Me Buy You A Drink

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 18 – Let Me Buy You A Drink_**

Castle dawdled his way back up the block after saying goodbye to Ryan. He paused at a newsstand to browse the magazines, coming away with a copy of New York and a packet of Spearmint Extra, and then he looked in the windows of a bookstore without ever going inside.

Part of him couldn't believe he was dillydallying – Kate was back at Remy's, they'd arrived together and would be going home together, and that still seemed too good to be true. He felt a strong pull to go and find her, just so that he could be near her, whenever she left a room for god's sake. But another part of him, the self-preserving side, had no desire to rejoin the _killer on the roof_ conversation, and so he took his own sweet time.

"_Castle!_ Where have you been?"

Kate's voice drifted clear across the crowded sidewalk. Her tone was plaintive and agitated.

_Oh shit_.

She was standing outside Remy's, alone, waiting for _him_ apparently, and she'd been there a while if her expression was anything to go by. She looked…_frantic._

He approached her with a mouthful of apologies, expecting to be berated for making her wait. Instead, she practically threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her lips at his cheek, his ear, his throat, her stomach pressed up against his, their hip bones colliding painfully.

"God, I was so worried," she whispered, against his skin.

Castle could feel her heart beating fast against his chest.

"Where _were_ you? I was so worried," she repeated, choking on the words. "Your phone is off."

Castle pulled back a little, just so that he could see her face, look into her eyes. His hands spanned her waist, holding her close.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I lost track of time. I just…I had to get out of there for a while."

His brow crinkled into a frown, and he looked down at the ground, feeling as if he'd abandoned her, and somehow let her down. His excuse sounded weak, even to his own ears.

Kate tucked a finger under his chin, and then gently tipped his head up to face her again.

"I know," she breathed, her lips ghosting over his. "I know and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. Not in front of you, Castle. I'm sorry," she whispered, curling her fingers behind his ears, stroking the back of his head, loving him, while the world passed by behind them.

"It's okay," he said quietly, kissing the side of her mouth, and then brushing his nose up against hers, feeling the warmth of her breath skimming his cheek. "No harm done. I know you guys needed to talk. I just…" Castle shook his head. "Too many images all at once. But you did great, Kate. So it's all good."

She finally stepped back a little, out of his space, and he missed her in a heartbeat. Their hands found one another, joined forces, fingers holding loosely.

"You're sure?" asked Kate, studying his face again while she bit her lip.

He nodded resolutely.

"Come on. Let's get out of here. I could use a drink," he said, dropping one hand, and turning her towards the curb with the other, suddenly in search of a cab.

"Rick?"

Kate followed after him, tugging gently on his hand to get his attention.

"What about Alexis? You promised we'd have dinner with her. Remember? Where are we going?" she asked, as he raised his right hand and a yellow cab immediately swept over to stop at his feet.

"The Old Haunt, and it's not even four. We can get a drink and still be back in time to have dinner. Where's your sense of adventure, Kate?"

She looked at him, her bottom lip between her teeth, a smile growing on her face at the implied challenge.

"_My_ sense of adventure?" she asked, delighted by the question, if her amused tone was anything to go by. Her eyes sparkled with it.

Castle was holding the door open for her, and the cabbie was looking back over his shoulder at them, drumming his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel.

"Yeah. You going all _responsible_ on me, Beckett?" Castle teased.

"I'm here with _you_, Richard Castle. I'd have thought that told you all you needed to know about my sense of adventure?"

Castle laughed at her reply, thrilled.

"Then get in, woman. Let me buy you a drink."

* * *

They sat so very close in the back of the cab; shoulders, arms, and thighs pressed together. Kate placed her hand on Castle's leg, light but warm, and he covered it with one of his own. The driver watched them in the rearview mirror from time-to-time, his eyes scanning from one face to the other, trying to figure them out, guessing what their story might be, just as he did all day long.

Kate dropped her head to Castle's shoulder, and let Manhattan skim by outside the window without feeling the need to watch. She closed her eyes, allowing her body and her other senses to take in the feel of having her partner pressed up against her in this new and wonderful way. She felt as if her talk with Esposito had freed her of some small burden, and with that, a little space had been created, allowing a new excitement to take up residence in her chest. Her body positively thrummed with it.

"Hey," Castle said gently, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "Kate, we're here."

He got out ahead of her, waiting by the door to offer her a hand before he paid the driver. Then they walked the few feet to the top of the steps, just as they had so many times before. Only this time was different.

"Do you remember the first time we came here?" asked Castle, the memory swimming in his eyes.

"Sure," said Kate, fingering his lapel. "I remember. You want me to pop a button for old times' sake?" she asked, her fingers moving down to tease the front of her shirt.

"That won't be necessary. Since I already know what you're wearing under there. Just…" Castle looked at his feet, as if he was embarrassed.

"What? What is it?" encouraged Kate, touching his arm, and then ducking her head so she could see his face.

"Would you hold my hand? When…when we go inside, I mean?" he stammered.

A blush colored his cheeks when he finally met her eyes, and then he looked away again. Kate's heart missed a beat.

"Castle…"

Her voice caught in her throat, and she swiped at a tear that tripped unexpectedly down the side of her face. Then she confidently held out her hand to him.

"Come on. Time to buy me that drink," she said, tugging him after her, down the steps to his bar.

* * *

"You know you _really_ need to train them better," said Kate, humor dancing in her eyes, once they were seated in a booth.

"How so? Service too slow? Not up to your exacting standards?"

"No. It's not that. I just always figured, if you're going to own a bar, then when you walk through the door, it should be like _Cheers_. Only instead of calling out '_Norm_', the staff and patrons should call out '_Rick_'."

Castle chuckled.

"Well, you wanna know what I think? I think everyone in this place was so busy looking at you when we walked in, that it wouldn't have mattered how well I'd trained them. You are one _stunning_ woman, Kate, and I don't know what I've done to deserve being able to walk in here with you on my arm. But I sure am grateful."

"Stop it, Castle. You're gonna get me started again," she said, reaching for the bowl of nuts to distract herself.

"But it's true. And I still can't get my head around it. That I get to love you, Kate, and even better than that – that you love me back."

"Well, get used to it. 'Cause you're stuck with me," Kate teased, tossing a peanut at him.

* * *

The barman brought their drinks over, nodded politely at Kate, taking in their linked hands on top of the table, reading the change in their body language, but wisely keeping his mouth shut.

Castle thanked him, and then immediately turned his attention back to Kate – no small talk for Charlie today. The barman took the hint and left them to it. Castle raised his drink, a frosted glass of beer, and clinked it against Kate's bottle of Peroni.

"Cheers," they said, took a drink, and then sank back against the booth.

"Okay," said Kate, after a few seconds silence, in which she watched her partner wrestle with something in his head. "You gonna tell me why we're _really_ here?"

Castle looked up at her abruptly, caught out in his silent lie.

"We're having a drink," he hedged, hoping she'd let him off the hook.

"Yes, I get that part. But _why_, Rick? We don't drink in the afternoons. And while you might _own_ a bar, I've never seen you want to drink this early before."

"Doesn't it feel good to be out? Weren't you getting cabin fever at the loft?"

"No. No, strangely, I wasn't. Might have had something to do with my partner…_distracting_ me."

"Oh, your partner was distracting you, was he? Does he do that a lot, this guy?"

"More and more, lately," grinned Kate. "In fact…"

"Mmmm?"

"He's trying to do it right now," said Kate, raising one eyebrow at him knowingly. "Castle, what is it?" she asked quietly, slipping a finger inside his cuff, and stroking the soft skin on the underside of his wrist. "Tell me," she encouraged.

He took a sip of beer, and then placed the glass down on the table. When he looked at Kate she was waiting patiently for him to speak.

"I ran into Ryan," he confessed, picking up a beer mat and turning it onto its edge.

Kate's eyes widened, and then she withdrew her hand from his wrist.

"Where? When?"

"Earlier. In the street. After I left you guys in Remy's."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Kate asked, her tone a mix of accusatory and disbelieving.

"I'm telling you now," said Castle quietly.

"And _what_? You needed a drink to tell me? Is that it? Is that what _this is_, Castle?" she asked, raising the green bottle off the tabletop and holding it up. "Dutch courage?"

"Kate…"

"I thought we were coming here to make some romantic statement. Some notion you had of us…I don't know…_coming out_ or something."

She looked disappointed, and a little embarrassed after the words were out of her mouth.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I probably should have told you right away. But when I found you outside the restaurant, you looked so worried, and I'd just left Ryan…" he paused, his silence loaded with things he wasn't ready to say, "and I just needed a minute. Okay? Coming here seemed like a good idea, and Kate, you're not wrong. I _was_ making a statement about us. Why do you think I asked you to hold my hand, hmm? Why do you think I brought you to The Old Haunt, when we could have walked into any bar down the street? This place is important to me. We've had so many great times here, and I want us to have so many more…to make even _more_ special memories. But…" Castle swallowed, some of the light going out of his eyes, and looked down, rolling the beer mat in a circle again.

"_Ryan_," nodded Kate, in understanding.

"Yeah," he sighed, "_Ryan_."

"What did he say? I mean, how did he seem?" she asked, her voice softer now, her eyes conveying sympathy after the information Castle had just shared.

"He was headed to his car. Had a canvas downtown or something. East Village, I think he said."

Castle rubbed his eyes, weary with it all, with turning everything over in his mind.

"_And?_" prompted Kate impatiently. "How _was_ he?"

"He's hurt, Kate. And with some reason, I'd say. Javi's refusing to speak to him, and Gates is making moves to partner him up with someone else. He says she's on his case constantly, just waiting for him to trip up. _Honestly_? I'd say he's lonely, and I don't blame him. Poor guy did the right thing, Kate. He took a difficult decision, and he saved your life, and now all he's getting for it is punished."

"And you're blaming yourself. Aren't you?" she asked, reaching out to lay a hand over Castle's.

He shrugged. "Maybe a little. All I know is that Kevin Ryan doesn't deserve this. If it were up to me, the guy would get a commendation, not forced to partner up with some stranger from Indiana."

Kate smiled, and Castle did a double take.

"You…are you _laughing_ at me?" he asked, incredulous.

Her smile became even more tender, her eyes soft, conveying gentle amusement.

"I'm not laughing at you," she shook her head, a grin teasing the sides of her mouth upwards.

"Could have fooled me," huffed Castle.

"Baby," she teased, reaching over to pinch his cheek, while she pouted at him, the earlier tension between them now broken. "You're sweet, Castle. Soft hearted and sweet."

Castle caught her wrist before she could completely withdraw her hand, and he turned it over, pressing a kiss to her palm.

"I don't want us to fight, Kate. I'm sorry about Ryan. I should have told you."

"I have news for you, Castle. There are times when we _are_ going to fight, maybe even hurt one another a little. We've done it before, and I have no doubt we'll do it again."

"But I don't want to hurt you, Kate."

"You won't mean to, but you will. Me too. But that's what matters – intention – _that_, and how we fix it."

"How'd you get to be so smart?"

"Oh, I met this guy a few years back, a little older than me. He's a writer. You might have heard of him," she joked, watching Castle's eyes begin to dance, the hurt and guilt lifting like a cloud.

"Kevin wants us to go out with him and Jenny," he said, suddenly wanting normal things with Kate, instead of dwelling on the past, and wallowing in guilt. He'd had enough of difficulty, enough of trauma. They needed to start living.

"What did you tell him?"

"About going out?"

"About us," Kate asked quietly.

"Just that we were good. That things were good between us. He's a detective, I'm sure he figured it out."

"And the double-date?"

"He said Jenny really likes you," Castle grinned, feeling like a kid in high school again. "I think the guy could use our friendship right now. We owe him, Kate. And you're right. I _do_ feel responsible for a lot of what's happened."

"No," said Kate, reaching for his hand, and squeezing. "Castle, you shouldn't."

"If I hadn't opened up your mom's case again, so much of what's happened just wouldn't have. _You_ getting shot, Montgomery, and now the team breaking up."

"If you hadn't re-opened her case, Rick, we probably wouldn't be sitting here right now," Kate said quietly.

"You really believe that?"

"I like to hope that fate would have brought us together somehow, but through all of this, you have demonstrated how much you care for me, for my dad, and for my mom, who you'll never even get to know. You've done so much for my family, Castle, sometimes at the expense of your own. How could I not love you after that?"

"I thought you didn't believe in fate," he said, taking another sip of his beer to distract himself from the swell of emotion Kate's statement had caused.

She smiled, amused by his question. One that was just so typically Castle.

"_That's_ what you took from what I just said?" she teased. "Fate?" Then she sighed contentedly. "Remember the writer guy I was telling you about? The one I fell in love with?"

Castle nodded slowly, holding his hand out across the table to her. She slid her palm over his, and then linked their fingers together.

"You didn't mention that last part," he said, playing along with her. "He believe in fate, this guy?"

Kate nodded. "And he made me start to believe too."

Castle squeezed her fingers, his heart suddenly racing.

"So…does this mean you're taken?" he asked, watching her intently.

"Yes. Yes, it does," she replied decisively, lifting her head to look straight into his eyes. "I'm sorry, but he stole my heart."

Castle beamed, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "Then, he's one helluva lucky guy, this writer."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I'm the lucky one," she said simply. "I'm the lucky one."

_A/N: Awww! These guys are so sweet. Don't you think?_


	19. Chapter 19 The Fear Factor

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 19 – The Fear Factor_**

"She's still not picking up," said Castle, a frown suddenly creasing his forehead as he became increasingly restless.

He was standing on the sidewalk outside The Old Haunt with Kate waiting patiently beside him while he called Alexis for the third time in an hour.

"You said she was going out. Maybe…maybe she left her phone at home?" suggested Kate, searching his troubled face.

"Nah huh. Never gonna happen. She's permanently attached to that thing, and she knows I expect her to be contactable at all times."

He looked worried. Images from earlier were starting to resurface, irrational fear bubbling up alongside them, the two making uneasy bedfellows.

"So, maybe she turned it off. Or it's on silent."

"Same rules apply."

"Dead battery?"

"She has one of those solar powered chargers. The portable kind."

"Of course she has," muttered Kate under her breath, working to keep them both calm, to stop the fear running away with them.

She nudged Castle playfully in the arm.

"You're tough, daddy," she teased, trying to neutralize the anxiety she could see building in her partner. "So many rules. Did you try the loft?"

"She went out, Kate. The machine is picking up."

He was starting to sound irritated and a little frantic.

"Okay, well let's not panic. We're headed home anyway, right? So let's get a cab, go back to the loft, and wait for her there. Alexis knows we have dinner plans tonight, so I'm sure she'll be home soon."

Castle nodded, his jaw tight as he walked quickly to the curb to hail a cab. Kate could see the tension in the line of his shoulders, the clenching and unclenching of his fists.

"Rick, she'll be fine," she soothed, laying a hand on his back. "We're just a little on edge after…" she hesitated, drawing her lip between her teeth.

He was pacing now, looking up and down the street for a taxi. The streaks of bright yellow that had peppered the roadway just seconds ago seemed to have vanished into thin air. He stopped pacing to face her.

"After you almost died, you mean? After Cole Maddox threw you off the side of a building? And he's still out there, Kate, and we have _no idea_ where he is. Or after you resigned and the team got disbanded, so we no longer have a weapon between us? Any or all of the above, Kate. You choose, because I'm a little distracted here."

* * *

His words were like a slap – sharp and sudden - and Kate was shocked by the vehemence behind them. They had talked, a little at least, and Castle had faced the ugly truth of that day in front of Esposito that same afternoon at Remy's. She thought he was dealing with it. She thought they were moving on. This showed her that he wasn't, not yet. He wasn't there yet.

The urge to blame herself, to turn tail and run, to leave him to his perfect life, where death and murder only happened between the pages of his novels under his strict direction and control, was overwhelming. Kate of old would have run a mile at the slightest hint of criticism from him, would have read his fear as blame, and his sharp tone as rejection. This new Kate was still learning, and had to use every minute of Dr. Burke's careful coaching to stand her ground and help them both through this. Because she had finally allowed herself her one and done, and she was damned if she was going to lose him now.

Ultimately, however, that would be up to him.

"I know you blame me for this fear that we're living with right now, and you have every right to, Castle. And I know you blame yourself too, before you deny what I've just said. I brought this to your doorstep and into your home. You have the right to say you don't want that for yourself and your family. No one would blame you for that. Least of all me, Rick."

There were tears in her eyes as she said the words, but she stood firm and said them anyway because that's what loving someone meant - doing the right thing, no matter the personal cost. Life had delivered them to one another, _finally_, and they owed it to each other to be honest, to speak what was in their hearts, even if the words were as hard to say as they were to hear.

Castle dropped his arm and turned away from the traffic. His jaw dropped open at the same time.

"Kate, how can you say that?" he asked, hands already reaching for her, his face instantly full of contrition and regret.

"Because it's true, Castle. Your life would be simpler and safer without me in it."

"I can _not_ lose you, Kate. Not now. Hell, not _ever_. Do you hear me?" He gripped her upper arms and shook her slightly.

The fear and pleading in his eyes was heartbreaking to watch.

"You're not going to lose me, Rick. But I'm giving you a choice."

"I made my choice a long time ago, Kate, and I chose you. Whatever it takes, I chose you."

"But Alexis…"

"Is probably fine, just like you said. We'll go home and wait for her, and then we'll go out to dinner and carry on the good work you've already started. Kate, I'm sorry for the things I said. I don't blame you for any of this. I really don't. Fear got the better of me for a second, but you're right. Alexis is not in any danger, I just overreacted. Forgive me?"

Kate reached up and palmed his cheek, skimming her fingers across his lips.

"There's really nothing to forgive. We're okay. Let's go home, Castle."

The relief was overwhelming. The storm over as quickly as it blew up.

* * *

They heard the confusing din - the violent thudding, the high-pitched wail - the second the elevator doors slid open. The front door of the loft was lying ajar, but the hallway was empty. They took two steps forward, and with a sudden swift kick from inside, the door slammed shut, rattling in its frame.

Kate shot Castle a look, already reaching for her weapon. Her heart faltered. No. Not there anymore. No holster, no gun, not a cop anymore, just a regular, unarmed, powerless civilian. The realization rocked her for the first time since…since she'd shown up at this very door, dripping wet and ready to meet her future, and Kate didn't like how it made her feel one bit.

She reached for his arm anyway, held him back and propelled herself forward, bypassing him with the momentum of the move.

"Kate," Castle called out, as she reached the door ahead of him, holding her hand out behind her for his keys.

"Kate, no," he tried again. "Let me."

"Keys, Castle," she said firmly, taking them from him when he gave in and handed them over.

She fumbled the lock, distracted by the heat of him hovering at her back, and the new sensation of having nothing more than her bare hands and her wit to overthrow whatever might be on the other side of the door.

"On my count," whispered Kate, squeezing Castle's forearm to set the clock ticking. "Three, two…"

She rotated her wrist, and mouthed the word 'one' with a nod of her head as she turned the handle and, click, pushed open the door.

* * *

Noise assaulted them from all sides. The painful sound of several female voices attempting to sing echoed off the vaulted ceiling of the loft, high-pitched, piercing, and exuberant, accompanied by a soaring classical track layered over a deep, thudding base that vibrated up through the soles of their feet.

Kate almost fell over a large, silver, rolling suitcase that was blocking the entrance. A colorful tote had been dumped down beside it, along with a pair of strappy red sandals and a brown leather duffel bag.

They stood side-by-side, their eyes wide, surveying the scene.

"Kate, darling!" yelled Martha, sweeping towards them in a cloud of rainbow chiffon and hot pink sequins. Her red hair was encased in a vibrant green turban, and large paste jewels dangled from her ears. She was holding what looked like a dirty Martini in one hand, waving the dainty glass in the air like a pro as she made her way in their direction.

Kate was scooped up in a vaguely familiar hug. Then Martha spun her round in a circle. Thin, strong arms, and Chanel No. 5 enveloped her, and she caught a brief glimpse of her partner's face on the first pass. He looked as shell-shocked and bewildered as she felt.

When Martha finally let go, Kate was left swaying, thrown off balance and dizzy by the sudden twirling motion. Castle caught her elbow, and put his other hand at her waist to steady her. She leaned back against him gratefully, a dazed smile on her face.

With a cry of 'Richard' thrown over her shoulder to acknowledge her son, Martha wafted away again, Martini held aloft, to retrieve a male companion who was lounging on the sofa near Alexis. The girl had been jumping on the cushions, voice at full volume, when Kate and Castle had made their entrance – muscles wound tight, hearts hammering, stealthy as a SWAT team minus the battering ram.

"I thought your mother was in the Hamptons," Kate said to her partner over the din, groping around Castle's pants leg for his hand.

When he found Kate's hand he gripped it tightly, and they stood pressed up against one another like two lost souls at a party; drowning together in the face of madness, debauchery and a sea of relative strangers.

* * *

"Ever feel like the parent?" Kate whispered eventually, watching Martha waltz, was it Herb or Harry, around the room.

"Since I was ten," said Castle, and Kate squeezed his hand in sympathy.

He turned to face her then, tearing his eyes away from the giddy sight of his daughter, dancing and singing with two girlfriends, a couple of boys Castle had never seen before, her grandmother, and whoever those men were that Martha had dragged back from Long Island.

"Promise me we will stick at this no matter what, Kate?" he said, tugging on her fingers, as his free hand slid into the small of her back drawing her up against him. "I…I can't believe what I said back there. I can't even remember half the things that came out of my mouth."

He looked stricken, wretched.

"Shhh," said Kate, lifting her hand to cup his cheek. "No more."

She silenced him with her mouth, as desperate need, mixed with the remnants of adrenalin and the dull edge of relief, washed over her, and she moaned, pushing herself up against him.

They lost themselves in one another, their lips barely brushing at first, before hands started to wander, to claim, tongues soon sliding in and out with abandon. The whole world disappeared, forced back to some peripheral vanishing point…_until_…the music stopped, and the deafening silence that followed shocked them back to the present.

_A/N: Ah Martha – what a trouper. I wonder what she'll have to say about Caskett? These two still have some way to go in the fear stakes too. What do you think?_


	20. Chapter 20 Richard, Explain Yourself

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 20 – Richard, Explain Yourself_**

Martha looked shocked, and that was saying something. Kate had never seen the woman speechless before. She stared wide-eyed at Kate and Castle, who were still standing just inside the front door holding hands, their lips smudged and swollen, eyes glazed with arousal, and cheeks slightly flushed. Kate tried to let go of Castle's hand, but he only held on tighter.

Martha tore her eyes away from her son and his partner to switch her gaze to Alexis. The girl had remained frozen to the spot when the music stopped as if playing a game of musical statues. Her eyes were focused on the floor, away from her friends, away from her grandmother, and most definitely away from her dad and his girlfriend, who, up until ten seconds ago, had been making out like horny teenagers in the entranceway to their apartment.

"Is someone going to tell me what's going on…_Richard_?" asked Martha archly, her voice ringing strong and clear across the loft.

Kate felt Castle's fingers twitch against her own at the list of indignities she knew would be running around inside head right now. His mother was interrogating him in his _own_ home, in front of a group of strangers she had almost certainly invited there. His daughter looked like she was about to disown him, and all because he'd had the audacity to come back to _his own apartment_ to check on said daughter who had suddenly decided not to answer her phone, almost causing he and Kate to have their first fight in the middle of the street, outside _his own bar!_

"What's going on?" asked Castle, his voice low and controlled, too controlled if you were Kate, and knew him as well as she did. "What's going on?" he repeated, the volume lifting this time, along with his shoulders and a general tightening of his muscles. "I'll tell you what's going on. We just came rushing back here because Alexis hasn't been answering her phone for the last hour and a half, and we find _you_," he said, gesturing towards Martha, "you, and your _cronies_ reenacting what looks like a particularly _bad_ episode of Glee in _my_ living room. And you have the nerve to ask _me_ what's going on."

Castle's face was red when he finished his indignant speech, and Kate noticed a vein throbbing in the side of his neck. She hadn't seen him this worked up since he had appeared at her apartment two days ago to try to persuade her to give up working on her mom's case, with good reason as it turned out.

An uncomfortable silence followed, in which Alexis' friends shifted from side-to-side, finding a sudden deep interest in Castle's hardwood floor; Martha's male companions rose from the sofa with the intention of making belated, but polite introductions to their host until the grande dame herself waved them back with a jingling of bangles and bracelets; and Alexis climbed down off the sofa with her hands on her hips to glare at her father.

Martha, however, was having none of it. There was no way a little attitude from her son was going to distract _her_ from the central point at issue here – what on _earth_ was going on between Richard and Kate, and why had nobody said anything before now?

* * *

"Oh no you don't, Richard Castle," said his mother, wagging a heavily jeweled finger at him. "Don't you try and bamboozle me, my boy," she said, rounding on the writer. "You know _exactly_ what I meant. What's going on between you and _this_ glorious creature?" she asked, turning a beaming smile on Kate, her eyes crinkling in delight.

"Alexis, you didn't tell her?" asked Castle, turning disbelieving eyes on his daughter.

Alexis shrugged. "Don't look at me. I'm not doing your dirty work," she said defiantly.

Kate felt Castle's fingers twitch against her palm again, and she squeezed back to let him know that they were in this together, mad mothers and difficult daughters be damned.

Alexis then added, "Besides, I didn't think it was my place to tell," trying to soften her previous statement.

Castle ignored her reply and stayed on the attack. The fright he'd just experienced before entering the loft was still lingering at the back of his mind.

"Why weren't you answering your phone? We were worried sick."

Alexis looked disgusted. "It's in my room. We were singing, dancing, you know…having _fun_, dad," she added sarcastically. "We don't all go around looking over our shoulders for assassins dressed in black."

This time Castle did drop Kate's hand to clench his fists at his sides. "Alexis…"

Kate caught his arm, turning him gently until he was angled towards her, and away from the gawkers in the room. "Rick, leave it. It's okay. Don't make a scene," she murmured, meeting his eyes with her own to reassure him with her calm gaze.

The rest of the group watched them in silence, taking in the drama as it unfolded rather like one of Martha's plays. Only the improvisation in this performance made the whole thing even more exciting and unpredictable to watch.

"Kate, it's _not_ okay, and she knows it," said Castle, turning back to look at Alexis. "I think this party is _over_," he said quietly, crossing the room towards his office without a backward glance.

* * *

Kate was left standing alone by the door, suddenly the sole protagonist left on stage, and thus the focus of everyone's attention.

Martha approached her first, grasping both of Kate's hands in her own, she said, "Kate, is this really what it looks like? You and Richard, are you finally…?"

Kate nodded, a smile lighting up her face despite the awkward situation. It wouldn't have mattered what had just transpired, she just couldn't hold it in.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes, it's exactly how it looks."

"Oh my," said Martha excitedly, flapping her hands in the air. "I'm so pleased for you, darling. Oh you make a lovely couple, and that one is head over heels for you, kiddo, in case he hasn't already told you."

Kate laughed, accepting Martha's hug.

"Yes, he told me. Once or twice," she admitted, beaming at Castle's mother. "So, you had no idea. I mean, Alexis didn't mention anything? You just decided to come home early from the Hamptons?"

"I called her this morning. Oh, I was getting bored being out of the city, and I wanted to celebrate my granddaughter's graduation with her. So we threw together this little impromptu get-together. But she never mentioned anything about you two lovebirds. Just said that her father was too busy to join us."

"Right," said Kate, adding quickly, "We had a meeting with Esposito," when Martha gave her a salacious grin, clearly implying that they'd been up to something else entirely.

"And Alexis…things have been okay between you two? She's obviously aware of this pleasing development."

"We've had some issues," conceded Kate. "Not unexpected, although I think Rick was maybe a little more shocked that I was. But we've talked. I've tried to reassure her. We're working on it," Kate added, glancing over Martha's shoulder at Castle's daughter, who was deep in conversation with her friends by this point. "Work in progress," Kate admitted, thinking back to Alexis' most recent comments in front of everyone.

"She'll come round, darling. Once she sees how happy you two are together. Just give it time."

"That's exactly what _I_ said. I'm not worried, Martha, although I hate the thought of causing trouble between Alexis and her dad. But I know she just needs time. To see that this is real. That we're both in it for the long haul."

Martha looked ecstatic. "My dear, you are a _treasure_," she said, pinching Kate's cheek. "That son of mine is lucky to have found you."

"Well, thank you. But I feel like I'm the lucky one," said Kate, running a hand self-consciously through her hair as Martha watched her with a new look of wonder on her face. "I should really go check on Rick," said Kate eventually, casting a worried glance towards the office.

"Oh, let him sulk for a bit. Take it from me, Kate - never reward bad behavior in children. Besides, I want to hear all about your big romantic denouement."

"Later, Martha. I promise. He's not sulking. We really did get a fright earlier. I do need to go check on him," said Kate firmly, patting Martha on the arm, before making her way towards Castle's bedroom.

"_Kate?_" Martha called out after her.

"Yes?" asked Kate, stopping to turn around.

"Welcome to the family, kiddo."

Kate smiled and bobbed her head in thanks as a small lump formed in her throat.

* * *

Kate knocked lightly on the doorframe, before popping her head around the half-open bedroom door.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling at her partner who was sitting on the bed with his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands laced behind his head. He looked glum.

"Hey," replied Castle, giving her a weak smile in return.

"Can I come in?" asked Kate, still hovering by the door.

"Have you lost your entourage?" he asked, peering past her towards the office as if he expected the rest of the party to troupe in behind her.

Kate laughed. "I had to fight off your mother. She's more persistent than the National Enquirer. But, yeah, I'm alone," she said quietly. "And I come in peace."

"Then get in here, and close the door behind you," said Castle, sounding relieved and grateful as he patted the space on the bed beside him.

Kate kicked off her shoes and climbed up onto the mattress, settling in beside him with her back against the headboard. Their shoulders were touching, though that was all at this point. Castle looked tired and upset, and Kate felt a swell of love and affection for him. She knew that he hated conflict, always wanted everyone to be happy and get along, so none of this was easy for him. She reached over and took his hand, determined to ease him back to his cheerful self.

"Long day," she observed inanely, keeping her tone light and slightly amused as she began to work at bringing him back.

Castle swiveled his head to look at her. His tone was surprised. "You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?"

Castle spluttered, waving his hand in the air. "All that, out there. That circus freak show we were subjected too, and Alexis…"

"Rick," Kate began, lifting his hand to her lips and kissing his knuckles. "Do I look upset?"

He looked at her again, reaching out to brush a lock of hair back from her cheek so that he could see her properly. "No," he conceded.

"Well, then. No harm done. I actually thought it was pretty funny."

"You _did?_" he asked, surprised. "Which part?"

"All of it. There _we_ were, preparing to make our big entrance to tackle the noisiest gang of burglars _ever_ or take down Alexis' camouflaged assassin with our bare hands, and then…"

He swiftly interrupted her.

"About that…what Alexis said. Kate, I'm sorry. She…that was rude and insensitive and totally uncalled for."

"Hey. Not your fault," said Kate gently. "She's angry and scared. We already knew that. And after today's display in front of her friends, she's probably mortified. We kind of lost it out there for a minute," admitted Kate, stifling a giggle. "We're were going at it pretty hard, Rick. If that had been _my_ parents…_parent_," she corrected herself, "I think I'd have been pretty angry and embarrassed too."

"It doesn't excuse the things she said."

"Maybe not. But she's not a bad kid, and she probably feels terrible all by herself. So I don't think you need to go all holier than thou on her. Just…let things work themselves out naturally. How about we try that, hmm? Starting with dinner for whoever is left out there after you called a halt to their little graduation shindig."

"They were celebrating Alexis' graduation?" asked Castle, sounding completely surprised.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "According to your mother they just kind of set it up this morning."

"Oh god," groaned Castle, covering his face with his hands. "I am officially _that_ guy. The uncool dad who breaks up parties and embarrasses their kid in front of her friends."

"I don't think _that guy_ usually makes out with his girlfriend _in front_ of his daughter's friends. So at least you were original," offered Kate by way of consolation, tugging his hands away from his face.

"With his girlfriend, huh?" asked Castle, a delighted smile illuminating his features. His eyes shone bright blue again, the cloud finally lifted. "She pretty hot, this girlfriend? I'll bet he just couldn't keep his hands off her."

Kate bumped him playfully with her shoulder. "Yeah? Well, if he wants his daughter to forgive him any time soon, I suggest he gets himself under control in public."

Castle lay back against the headboard again, looking more relaxed and much happier than when Kate had entered the bedroom.

"You want to know the thing I can't get my head around?" he asked, toying with her fingers.

"That we made out in front of your mother?" grinned Kate, squeezing her eyes shut at the memory.

"Well, there is _that_," agreed Castle, kissing Kate on the side of the head. "But I was thinking that I can't believe Alexis is more mortified by _us_, in front of her friends, than she is by the antics of _my mother_ and those…those _gigolos_ she picked up in the Hamptons."

Kate laughed. "Gigolos? How old fashioned and judgmental, Mr. Castle," she teased, getting to her knees and crawling over him until she could straddle his lap. "Gigolo," she whispered, leaning close to his ear. "What a great word. I like the sound of that. Will you be my gigolo, Castle?"

Castle settled his hands on her hips. He had a wide smile on his face, which he dropped to concentrate on tracking a feather light path down Kate's neck with his tongue until he reached the sensitive dip below her throat.

"What would the job entail?" he rasped, smirking against her skin when she tweaked his sides.

"Lots and lots of sex," breathed Kate, distracting him completely now as her breasts brushed up against his chest, her fingers slid through his hair making his spine tingle, and her tongue teased the shell of his ear.

"Then I'm your man," he croaked. "One gigolo reporting for duty, ma'am. Entirely at your service."

Kate gasped when Castle unbuttoned her shirt and pulled her bra aside, swiftly covering her breast with his warm, wet mouth. His fingers pressed into her buttocks, drawing her up against him, while he swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucking lightly on her skin.

"Oh god, Castle, that is _so_ good," Kate moaned, just as a gentle tap on the bedroom door interrupted them.

Castle froze.

"Hold that thought," said Kate, climbing backwards off the bed to answer the door.

"What the hell?" he muttered, while regretfully watching her go.

Kate fastened her shirt back up, and gave Castle a second or two to fix his hair and clothing before she opened the door.

Alexis was standing outside in her bare feet, looking years younger than her age, an expression of deep contrition on her face.

_A/N: Martha rocks! I think she's ace. Hope you liked these scenes. Let me know what you think? I'm really encouraged by your detailed reviews._


	21. Chapter 21 Apologies

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 21 – Apologies_**

"Can I come in?" Alexis asked Kate, her eyes sliding uncomfortably to the floor and back up again as she hovered in the doorway of her father's bedroom, slim and fragile, hair like burnished copper snaking down across her back.

Kate cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Castle.

"Sure, Alexis," she said kindly, swinging the door open wider to usher her inside.

Castle swung his legs round to sit on the edge of the bed. He rested his hands on his thighs, staring at the floor for a few seconds, and then he turned his head to look at Alexis.

"I'm really sorry, dad," she said sorrowfully, twisting the hem of her shirt in her fingers like a child. "I didn't mean what I said out there. I guess I was just…embarrassed in front of my friends. But it was selfish and immature of me, and I'm really sorry. So much for being valedictorian," she added, looking at her feet once more.

"Guys, I'm just gonna go and find Martha. Leave you two to talk," said Kate uneasily, before heading out into the office, feeling it was distinctly not her place to be there right now, listening to that.

"No, Kate. Wait," said Castle, getting up off the bed and following her out. He slid his arm around her shoulders and gently turned her around, guided her back into the bedroom.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to, Alexis. If you should be saying sorry to anyone, it's Kate."

"Rick…" said Kate, an edge of discomfort in her voice.

She shook her head at her partner, desperate not to alienate Alexis any further by having her father force an apology from the girl on her behalf.

"It's okay, Kate. Dad's right. I said some hurtful things, some thoughtless stuff out there, and I am sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out like that."

"Yeah, well, _we_ weren't exactly innocent in the whole thing either," said Kate, trying to be conciliatory. "Were we, Rick?" she added, nudging Castle in the ribs to get him to join in their little group apology.

"What did _we_ do…?" he started to protest, until Kate silenced him mid-question with a stern look and the ever-effective use of her eyebrows. "Right," he said quietly, nodding at her. "We're sorry if we embarrassed you in front of your friends," he said grudgingly, diluting the impact of his mea culpa somewhat.

"See, that wasn't so hard. Was it Castle?" Kate pointed out, winking at Alexis in the hope of raising a smile.

"Just don't expect me to promise that it won't happen again," he tacked on, ruining the effect of his apology entirely. "This is still _my _house, and if I want to make out with my girlfriend wearing nothing but my slippers and a laser tag vest then I will. _Understand?_"

"_Castle!_" gasped Kate, covering her mouth with her hand.

Alexis grinned helplessly. "Dad, that is possibly the _grossest_ thing you've ever said," she moaned, looking at her feet again in embarrassment, before adding swiftly, "No offense Kate."

"Eh, none taken, I think?" said Kate, glaring at her partner, who just grinned back in amusement.

"All I'm saying is, if you're having people over, pumpkin, then warn me. And answer your phone, oh daughter of mine," he said, placing a loud, sloppy kiss on her forehead.

"Ewww, gross, dad," complained Alexis, pushing him away.

"As for the other stuff, Alexis. I just want to say that Kate has treated you like an adult, sweetheart. She didn't have to tell you what happened to her the other day, but she did, out of respect for you. And I think you need to show her the same level of courtesy. Don't _you_?"

Alexis nodded silently, and then she turned to Kate and drew her into a short and slightly awkward hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered, before letting Kate go.

"Well, I think we can all agree that there are things we could have done differently. How about we work out a plan for dinner? My treat," offered Kate, keen for them all just to move on, before anyone got anymore bent out of shape over what amounted to a bunch of misunderstandings.

"I vote we order in," said Alexis. "Gram just got back from the Hamptons, and she's_ totally_ over the moon about you guys. You should hear her singing upstairs while she's unpacking. Tragic! If we go out for dinner tonight she's going to totally embarrass us all."

Kate laughed, throaty and loud, her eyes sparkling with humor. Castle stared at her, utterly love struck and making no effort to hide it. She felt her cheeks getting warm, wishing, not for the first time, that they were alone right now.

She could see that Alexis was making an effort, and she felt for her. They'd ruined her little party, embarrassed the hell out of her in front of her friends, and all she wanted was for them to eat in and hang out at home tonight. The least Kate could do was support her.

"Then I'll second that. _Rick?_" she asked, tugging on Castle's belt to get his attention.

His mind was elsewhere, as he watched his daughter and his girlfriend interact, admiring the generous way they'd reached a detente, when he'd been set on a showdown. He felt proud of both of them, and a little humbled too.

"Dad, you get a vote too," prompted Alexis.

"But you guys have already teamed up against me," he complained, amusement in his voice.

"Martha can have the casting vote if you decide you want to go out," said Kate.

"Then we'll have a deadlock for sure," said Castle. "When have you ever known your grandmother not to want a night out on the town?"

"You don't have a pet we can co-opt in to break that deadlock?" joked Kate. "Shame we don't have Royale anymore."

"We could call Lanie," suggested Alexis, with a wicked grin on her face.

"Great idea," agreed Kate, nudging Alexis. "She'll totally side with us."

"Lanie's your _pet?_" asked Castle. "Oh, she is gonna _love_ that when I tell her."

"_Dad,_" moaned Alexis, slapping her father's chest, "you're such a dork."

Castle drew his arms up to protect himself from the blow.

"I don't mind staying home tonight and ordering in. Pizza would be my choice, but I'm happy with whatever my girls decide," he said, drawing Kate and Alexis to him for a group hug.

"Jeez, dad, you're being weird today," Alexis complained, squirming out of his arms.

"Just today?" asked Kate, and Alexis laughed with her.

"Yeah, right. Weird is his default setting," squealed Alexis, when Castle lunged for her.

"Guys, guys, getting back to dinner. Alexis, can you order whatever everybody wants? My wallet is over there. I'm just going to freshen up a little," she said, making her way to the en suite bathroom.

"Here, take this," said Castle quietly, handing Alexis his own wallet instead, once Kate's back was turned.

"I heard that, Richard Castle. Don't listen to him, Alexis," called Kate from inside the bathroom where she was splashing water on her face having left the door ajar.

"Are you guys gonna be like this all the time?" asked Alexis gleefully.

"Like what?" asked Castle, suspiciously.

"Cute, and at odds, and totally easy to manipulate."

Kate popped her head round the bathroom door with her toothbrush in her hand.

"Yes, yes, and no, are the answers you're looking for, Castle," she supplied, grinning at Alexis triumphantly, and then high-fiving her partner. "Nice try though, Alexis. I admire your thinking. And like I already said, my wallet is on the bedside table."

* * *

Kate was bent over the vanity, brushing her teeth, when Castle let himself into the bathroom. He came over to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and bracketing her rear with his hips. He pushed himself up against her, rocking them both from side-to-side. Kate straighten up, foam around her mouth, to look at him in the mirror, a sparkling smile on her face.

"This is a nice greeting," she said, folding her arms across his and rocking with him.

He felt relaxed for the first time since he'd left Remy's that afternoon.

"You were amazing out there," he said, flattening his hand across her stomach as she wriggled up against him.

He marveled at the amazing sensation of having Kate's lithe body move under his hands.

"You fixed that whole mess with _way_ fewer words than it would have taken me," he said, sounding genuinely impressed.

Kate shrugged.

"I got lots of practice at the Precinct wrangling you, Javi, and Kevin. I just think we need to cut her some slack right now. She has a virtual stranger staying in her home, and not in the guest room either, I might add. We've put _us_, our relationship, on fast forward, Castle. So she's coping with a lot."

"But you're not a stranger, Kate. Alexis met you at exactly the same time I did. She's known you as long as I have."

"Eh, not the same thing, Castle. Not the same thing at all," argued Kate, bending forward to spit in the sink and making Castle groan when she pushed back against him even more firmly. "Sorry," she grinned, when she straightened up again.

"No you're not, wicked woman. But that's okay, since I really enjoyed that little manoeuver," he leered, flexing his fingers against her stomach muscles.

"Just think of the hours we've spent working together. All the cases, the late night callouts, the meals we've shared, the arguments, and some of the jams we found ourselves in. You learn a lot about a person when you're handcuffed to them," Kate pointed out, turning in Castle's arms to face him.

"So, what did you learn about me that day?" he asked, fishing for compliments, while he played with the curls that fell in waves down her back.

Kate thought for second.

"That you carry beef jerky around in your back pants pocket. Oh, and you're a _really_ sound sleeper," she said with a straight face.

Castle laughed, and tightened his arms around her.

"Eh, can I remind you that we'd been drugged," he said indignantly.

"Yes, and I _still_ woke up first," countered Kate, poking him lightly in the stomach.

"Just think," he mused, brushing his lips against her temple, "if we'd been doing this back then…oh the fun we could have had in that basement. I mean they left us a mattress and everything."

"Yeah, it was kind of a romantic spot, when you put it like that," laughed Kate, "if you're partial to dark, damp holes in the ground, with tigers prowling just feet away while you…"

"While you what?" prompted Castle.

Kate smirked at him. "While you have sex."

"Now, see, I would have gone with '_make love'_," he purred. "But then that's just me," smirked Castle, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the mouth.

"You are an old romantic soul, Richard Castle," murmured Kate, laying her head on his chest and snuggling up against him.

"Eh, less of the old, please? But the other part is true, as I intend to demonstrate to you."

"Are you're going to romance me, Castle?" grinned Kate, sounding pleased.

"Sure am. Every chance I get. So prepare yourself, Beckett."

* * *

They stood quietly for a minute or so, wrapped in each other's arms, swaying slightly, as if on the verge of dancing. Castle walked them round until they could both see themselves reflected in the mirror over the vanity.

"How on earth…no, _why _on earth did we wait so long to do this?" he asked quietly of their reflection. He looked awestruck and excited and just a little touch sad.

"I really don't know anymore," said Kate honestly. "I used to have an answer for that, Rick, but now...I just don't. It seems…wasteful, and cowardly, and just plain stupid – the time we've spent apart. And, hey, I blame _myself _for that. That wasn't a dig at you."

"But _you_ fixed it. After I told you we were over, like the biggest, stupidest jerk in the world. You fixed it, Kate."

"I came to my senses, is what I did. I saw what I was about to lose, and…I just couldn't let that happen. I couldn't bear to watch you walk out of my life again, Castle. That's happened far too often, and…I'm just glad you listened to me, that you gave me a chance. I'm so happy that we made it in the end."

"Me too. Oh god, Kate, me too."

He squeezed her even tighter, until she flexed her fingers against his back alerting him to her pain, and he quickly released her.

"I'm sorry. I keep forgetting that you're hurt."

He stroked his hand gently down her spine, soothing her.

"Not for long. A few more days and the bruises will mostly be gone."

Castle kissed her neck, brushing his thumb over the fading bruise at her throat, wishing he could erase all that had happened that day. But the fact of the matter was that it had given him Kate. He just wished she hadn't been the one to pay the price for that.

* * *

"So, you ready to face your mother yet? We can't hide out in here forever you know. They'll think we're doing dirty things to one another, and when they think that," Kate added, toying with Castle's top button suggestively, "I actually want it to be true."

"She's gonna be all over this, isn't she?" Castle groaned.

"Hey, I had to go there first…_alone,_" Kate reminded him, with a poke to the ribs, "in front of a room full of people."

"I suppose we should face the music."

"I can hold your hand if you like," Kate promised, tugging playfully on the front of his shirt. "She wants to know all about our big romantic moment, so she told me. You might want to make something up, other than…well, the brutal truth."

"You know what, Kate? I think I actually quite like the way things worked out for us in the end. It seems…_fitting_ somehow."

"What? The violent storm, the soaking wet part, the desperation, the near rejection?"

"You know, the soaking wet part is my favorite bit," Castle confessed with a grin, crowding her back against the vanity unit with his body so that he could hold her there while he trailed his mouth down over her neck making her squirm with pleasure.

"Your mother is gonna wear you down anyway. She'll…oh god, Rick," Kate gasped, "smell a rat if we make something up. Just…keep it PG in front of Alexis. We've traumatized her enough for one day," said Kate, tipping her head back to give him better access to her neck.

A tingling excitement flooded down her spine and shot to her core, and she grasped Castle's head with both hands, running her fingers through his hair. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

"How about I traumatize _you_ later?" he suggested with a roughish grin, his warm hands under her shirt stroking her back.

"Is that a promise?"

Kate smiled against his neck, lightly sucking on his skin.

"Oh, it's a date, Kate."

"Then let's go face your mother before you lose your nerve."

"You tell her I cried and you _will_ regret it, Kate Beckett," he threatened, following her out through the bedroom.

"You gonna use your superpowers to stop me, Castle?"

"You have no idea, Kate. No idea."

Kate screamed when Castle grabbed for her and chased her out through the office and into the living room.

Martha was sitting on the sofa reading, and she looked up, startled, as they skidded across the floor like a couple of kids.

"_Finally_!" Martha exclaimed theatrically, her eyes lighting up. "I see Kate managed to talk you down off the ledge, darling? Well done dear," she said, turning to Kate.

Castle gave his mother a withering look as she grinned at him.

"Oh Richard, come here. S_it_!" she commanded, patting the space next to her on the sofa.

Castle groaned and looked at Kate, whose face simply said – '_I did my bit, and now it's your turn, honey'_.

"_Now_. _Come_. Sit, darling. Because we have some _serious_ catching up to do. I want you to tell your dear mother everything that's been going on around here while I've been away? I want to hear _everything_ that I've missed, do you hear? _Everything, Richard,"_ said Martha enthusiastically, waving him over.

Her eyes were shining when she patted her son's hand affectionately, and Kate watched him with an amused smile on her face.

He looked terrified.

_A/N: They will get to have dinner soon, I promise. This is a long summer hiatus, so I'm just taking this at a leisurely pace. I hope no one objects. The reviews and comments are amazing. Thank you!_


	22. Chapter 22 Pass The Pizza Please

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 22 – Pass the Pizza Please_**

"I think I hear someone at the door," said Kate, flicking her eyes towards the hallway. "That'll be the delivery guy. I'll just…I'll go get the door," she said, fleeing the interrogation Castle's mother was angling to get underway.

When Kate stood up, Castle shot her a pleading look, begging her to stay with his eyes. She smoothed her hand over the back of his head, the affectionate gesture designed to bolster and comfort him. His eyes slipped shut under her touch. She let her fingers linger a fraction of a second longer against his neck before moving away. Instinctively, he reached out and snagged her hand, tugging on it to hold her there.

They didn't do this, hadn't ever done it before – need each other so physically for comfort and reassurance, and all of the time. They had provided support and solace in a myriad of other ways for a long time. But this was new and thrilling, and anyone who watched them closely would have seen the need arcing between them.

"Castle, the food," reminded Kate, pulling gently away from him with a reassuring squeeze of her hand.

* * *

Alexis made it to the front door before Kate did, and she paid the delivery guy, and then handed Kate's wallet back to her, before juggling a small stack of pizza boxes in her arms.

"Here, let me help," said Kate, taking a couple of the boxes from Castle's daughter, and following her back to the kitchen.

"Plates are warming in the oven," said Alexis, grabbing an oven glove and going to fetch them. "What are dad and gram talking about?" she asked Kate, glancing across the room at them. "They look so _serious_."

Kate followed Alexis' gaze across the room. Martha was holding Castle's right hand in between her own, clasping it tightly, and her head was tilted to the side. She had an earnest look on her face. Her eyes were clear and focused, softening into a smile the longer Castle talked.

Kate couldn't hear anything that was being said, but as a longtime student of body language, she guessed that her partner was taking his mother through recent events from the very beginning.

"You have nothing to worry about," said Alexis, out of the blue, bumping elbows with Kate when she crossed the kitchen with the pile of plates.

Kate looked at her in surprise, wondering exactly what she meant.

"Gram loves you," she added simply.

Kate's eyebrows shot up at Alexis' words, and she was unable to keep the look of amazement off her face.

"I've heard her talking to dad before," Alexis confessed when she saw Kate's reaction.

"About what?" asked Kate, uneasy about prying, but since Alexis had been the one to bring it up…

"About you…and my dad. You know he's been in love with you forever, right?" said Alexis, startling Kate with her honesty.

"And he talked to your grandmother about that?" asked Kate, astonished.

"Yes. I overheard them once. Gram was encouraging him to let you know how he felt. She said you couldn't go on with things the way they were any longer. That he had to tell you."

Kate looked surprised, and Alexis misunderstood her reaction, going off into a long and convoluted ramble about eavesdropping.

"I know I probably shouldn't have been listening, but I only went into dad's office to get a book, and they sat down out on the sofa and started talking, and I got kind of trapped in there so…I heard everything," she confessed.

Kate gave Alexis a sympathetic look, and touched her shoulder.

"Alexis, I'm sure your dad would forgive you. It's not as if you hid out in there on purpose."

Kate looked over at Martha again, still shocked, but pleasantly surprised by the woman's efforts behind the scenes on her behalf to facilitate her relationship with her son. Almost the exact opposite view to the one held by Alexis.

"I'm guessing you didn't feel the same way?" said Kate, startling Alexis. "After you heard them talking."

Alexis shrugged. "Doesn't matter what I think. It's really not my place."

Alexis looked uncomfortable, as if she was now regretting opening up this discussion at all.

"Sure it is. He is your dad. You want him to be happy, and you don't want to see him get hurt. _Right?_ Anyone would understand that, Alexis."

"Yes, but he's a grown up, despite appearances," Alexis added, making Kate laugh, "and he makes his own decisions. He's always encouraged me to do the same. It's his way of respecting me. So I've never interfered in his…" she looked uneasy, "in his love life before."

Kate wanted to tell the girl that this thing between them was more than that. That it ran too deep to fall under that category. But she kept her mouth shut and listened.

"I know that you're good for him, Kate, in lots of ways. I mean just look at him," she said, gesturing across the room. "He's like a kid at Christmas. You can see it in his eyes, that light just shining out of them, and the way he looks at you…"

Alexis trailed off, embarrassed, but apparently unable to stop talking.

"He's never looked at any woman like that before," she said quietly, opening a pizza box to check the contents.

Kate was overwhelmed by this last little piece of information, and she stored it away at the back of her mind like a treasure in a memory box.

"Gram is totally on your side, is all I'm saying. So if she asks you any tough questions, don't think it's because she wants rid of you, or that she doesn't think you're good enough. She already loves you, Kate. As far as gram's concerned, you're in."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because if you and my dad are going to be together, I think you deserve all the help you can get."

"Does that mean you think we're going to _need_ it?"

"I just don't want him to get his heart broken again. Another mistake could crush him. You weren't around before," she said obliquely.

"This isn't a mistake Alexis. I assure you," said Kate, laying her hand over the girl's where it rested on the counter. "What will it take for you to see that?"

"You say that now, but life doesn't come with guarantees, Kate. I already watched him make vows to Gina, vows he thought were forever, and look how that turned out. I was too young to remember when dad split with my mom, but it took him years to trust a woman after that."

Kate soften a little towards Alexis, hearing how she'd been affected by her dad's failed marriages, and seeing how she'd obviously thought through the whole subject.

"I think I understand better than most people that life has no guarantees," said Kate, thinking about her own mom and dad, and how unexpectedly things had changed for them. "But I can promise you that I will never cheat on your father, and I will never intentionally hurt him, Alexis. He's been my partner for the last four years, through thick and thin, and there have been some pretty thin times, believe me. There will be stuff that happened to us that your dad hasn't shared with you, because he wanted to protect you. But I can assure you that we've seen all sides of each other, Alexis, good _and_ bad, and so while this might be new for us, being together like this, we've loved one another and taken care of one another for a lot longer than I'd care to admit. We know what we're getting into. What we're getting with each other. He's…"

Kate looked over at Castle, lounging on the sofa now, looking relaxed, one leg thrown across his knee while he smiled and chatted with his mother.

"He's special, Alexis. But I know you already know that. And I just…I love him," Kate said simply, watching her partner from across the room.

Alexis put the pizza cutter back down on the chopping board and turned to look at Kate.

"You should see your face right now," Alexis grinned. "You have that same light in your eyes as my dad, and the way you're looking at him," she observed, with amusement. "It's freaky."

"I do?" Kate blushed, looking at the girl.

Alexis nodded. "It's actually kind of cute…in a sickening sort of way," she admitted.

Kate bumped Alexis with her hip in protest, and the girl laughed in surprise and then bumped her back.

"I didn't want this. I'm being honest because you promised to do the same with me. But I can see that it's happening, and there's no way I'm getting in between you two. I love my dad too much for that. Just promise you won't break his heart, Kate?"

"You have my word," promised Kate, squeezing Alexis' wrist. "You absolutely have my word on that."

* * *

"What do you suppose those two are talking about?" asked Martha, glancing over towards the kitchen, where Kate and Alexis were deep in conversation.

"Actually, I dread to think. Alexis has been pretty hard on Kate since…well, since she came home and found us in my bathroom the morning after…"

"Ah," nodded Martha in understanding, "I see. Oh, how awkward, darling. For all of you."

"It wasn't the best start. Alexis was…difficult. Kate had been hurt on the job, and then she fainted. Lanie came to check her over and then Alexis…"

Martha clasped Castle's hand to slow him down.

"Darling. Darling, you're a story teller. The best one I know. So how about you put that talent to good use, and put your mother out of her misery."

Castle looked confused.

"Start at the beginning, Richard," said Martha patiently. "Alexis gave her wonderful speech, we had our celebratory lunch, and then I left for the Hamptons. You came home to have your little movie marathon with Beckett. How about you take it from there?"

Castle looked down at his hands, unpleasant memories from that day flooding back to him.

"You missed a section out of your reprise, but that's not your fault, since I didn't tell you about it."

Now it was Martha's turn to look confused.

"Richard, I find plain English is best when dealing with such things."

Castle gave his mother a look, rolled his eyes, and sighed. Then he took a deep breath and prepared to start at the beginning.

"I went to see Kate, the night before Alexis' graduation, to persuade her to stop pursuing her mother's case. You know how it was putting her life in danger, we talked about it often enough. So I decided it was time to tell her. I _had_ to try to make her stop."

Castle looked devastated as he relived that conversation for his mother.

"I take it things did _not_ go well?" asked Martha, sympathy softening her eyes.

"No. No, you could definitely say that. I told her that I needed her to walk away from the investigation. I even told her that I loved her. I…"

Castle covered his mouth with his hand, shook his head, trying to get a grip on his emotions.

"I even resorted to emotional blackmail – said that if she felt anything for me then she would stop pursuing the case."

"How did Beckett take _that_?"

"She accused me of treating her like a child, said that it was _her_ life and…well, it obviously didn't matter what I said, she was determined to finish this thing."

"Oh darling," said Martha, squeezing Castle's shoulder in sympathy.

"So, I told her it was over, that I was done, and then I left. I just walked out on her. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, mother. Damn near broke my heart. But I had Alexis to think about, her special day, so I decided not to say anything, just try and put it out of my head."

"Well you did a wonderful job of hiding it, Richard. I'm proud of you. We'll make an actor of you yet," she said, trying to get him to smile. "Neither Alexis nor I had any idea what you must have been going through. But, I wish you'd told me, darling."

"Alexis is my life, mother. Always had been. You know that. And Kate made it pretty clear that she didn't want me interfering in hers, so there was nothing left to do but walk away. I couldn't bear to stand by and watch her get herself killed.

"And so, we come to today, and I see you two looking so close and so happy. How on earth did you turn things around?" Martha grinned, nudging Castle's shoulder. "Did you use some of that legendary Richard Castle charm?"

Castle smiled for the first time in the last ten minutes.

"Actually, in the end, it was all down to Kate. She showed up at the loft that night, soaking wet, battered and bruised. She…"

He cleared his throat, and looked over at the kitchen, searching out his partner. Kate looked up at that moment and smiled at him, her eyes lighting up with love and affection.

"She told me that…uh…"

Castle struggled with the best way to explain the events of that night to his mother, without revealing too much.

"That her priorities had changed, I guess. That the case didn't matter anymore. That she just wanted me. She…"

Castle trailed off again, mesmerized by the sight of his partner-turned-lover working alongside his daughter in his kitchen.

"Oh, darling, that's wonderful. _Wonderful!_" said Martha, putting him out of his misery. "I'm so pleased for you. For both of you. You kept the faith, kiddo, told her how you felt, and it paid off in the end."

"I guess it did, mother. And I have you to thank for that too."

"So what happens now? Do you have a plan? Because if I know you, you've already picked out the engagement ring, and you're trying to figure out how soon is too soon to propose to beautiful Kate."

"No," Castle shook his head. "For once in my life I'm not going to rush things. Kate's been wonderful, more amazing about this whole thing, more certain than I could ever have hoped. Mother, she resigned from her job…" said Castle, looking at Martha to see that she understood the importance of this point. "And she's spent the last couple of days reassuring me, and trying to persuade Alexis, that this is it for her. That we have a future together."

"She's a brave girl, that one. You look after her, Richard, and she will go with you to the ends of the earth, kiddo. I'm certain of it."

"You know, I think you may be right, mother. I'm finally starting to believe that you might be right about that. We just have to take our time, and let things settle. Alexis persuaded her to stay here for now, rather than going back to her place. There are lots of issues we still have to address. But I'm determined not to push. She's already given me so much over the last couple of days."

Martha's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, if that performance you put on at our party was anything to go by…"

"Mother," hissed Castle. "_Not_ what I meant. We've talked. She's been open about how she feels in a way we've never really been able to be with one another before. And I'm just so damned grateful for how patient she's being with Alexis. How sensitive she's been to her feelings."

"Oh, darling, I don't think I've ever seen you looking so happy. This is wonderful, dear. So exciting," said Martha, grinning from ear-to-ear.

* * *

Castle looked up to see Kate and Alexis approaching from the kitchen.

"Food's ready," said Kate, looking slightly hesitant about interrupting them, until Martha shot out of her seat and threw her arms around her.

"We made a salad," added Alexis inanely, watching her grandmother squeeze Kate so hard she had to be struggling to breathe.

"Gram, Kate's back is bruised," the girl reminded her. "You might want to go easy on the hugs for a while."

Martha pulled back, embarrassed.

"My dear, I'm so sorry," she said, putting Kate down. "I'm just so happy for you both," she beamed.

Kate thanked her, accepting the kiss Martha planted on her cheek.

"Why don't we eat," suggested Castle, giving Alexis a quick squeeze.

Martha and Alexis headed off towards the dining table arm-in-arm.

Kate linked arms with Castle, preparing to follow them, but he held her back, gently turning her to face him.

"How're you holding up?" Kate asked him, searching his face for the answer.

"You were right. She wanted chapter and verse," he said, wiping the imprint of his mother's vibrant pink lipstick off Kate's cheek.

"I hope you drew a line?" she asked, her eyes growing large.

Castle's hands were resting at her waist, thumbs stroking her sides.

"Don't worry. We stopped at the bedroom door," he joked.

"I hope so. I love your mother, Castle, but there are some things that should remain private," she murmured, so that Martha and Alexis wouldn't hear.

"I love that you love my mother, Kate. And I was watching you with Alexis earlier. You two seem to be getting on better."

"I think she knows she doesn't stand a chance," said Kate, resting her head against Castle chest, while he stroked her back. "I'm not giving you up."

"And she has absolutely no idea how stubborn you can be," Castle grinned, delighted by her determination to make this work.

"When I see what I want," murmured Kate, flexing her fingers against the muscles of his back.

"I want _you_…right now," Castle whispered, holding her even tighter.

Kate could feel his heart hammering between them.

"Remember what we said about traumatizing your daughter? I think maybe we should settle for pizza right now, before she reports us to Child and Family Services."

"Yeah, right. Pizza," said Castle blinking hard. He reluctantly stepped back and let Kate go.

She grabbed hold of his hand, drawing him back to her side, and then they walked to the table together to join Martha and Alexis for dinner.

_A/N: Awww! Martha's such a shipper. Thank you for your comments and reviews. Alexis seems to be softening a bit._


	23. Chapter 23 Out of the Blue

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 23 – Out of the Blue_**

"I thought she was never going to go to bed," moaned Castle, as he watched his mother climb the stairs bound for her own room.

She paused at the top to wave down at them, her bracelets jangling on her arm, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Castle groaned, but waved back, muttering, "Finally," through clenched teeth.

"Shhh," giggled Kate, nudging him in the ribs. "She might hear you."

"Good point. Then she might come back downstairs to torture us with more stories about Herb and Howie."

"Harry," corrected Kate, taking a sip of her wine and playfully squeezing Castle's thigh.

"Harry, Helmut, Houdini, whatever," yawned Castle, stretching out on the sofa next to Kate. "I thought it was never going to end."

She smiled, and allowed him to take her hand. He quieted down as he toyed with her fingers, inspected her nails, and then rubbed his thumb absentmindedly across her knuckles.

"You've got that look on your face," she smirked, chewing her lip.

"What look? I have a look?"

"Oh god, you have too many looks to count, Castle," she blurted in an unguarded moment, her tongue loosened by the wine and the relief at finally being alone, lessening the need to edit her thoughts. "But this is kind of a new one."

"Been studying my looks, Beckett?" he teased, watching Kate fight off a blush.

"Don't flatter yourself, Castle."

"You have. Just admit it. You're _hot_ for me, Katherine Beckett. I can see it in your eyes," he teased.

"Don't call me that," she complained, poking him in the stomach.

"You're still hot for me, _Kate. _No use denying it. You're blushing."

"Well, would you look at that? Is that _really_ the time?" she said, faking interest in her watch as she tried to distract him long enough to recover her cool.

"Bedtime?" suggested Castle timidly, trying not to sound like he was leering at her or being overly eager, and feeling like he was doing a really bad job of avoiding both.

Before Kate could answer him, he quickly added, "Or we could watch a movie? I mean if you're not tired."

Kate turned on her side, her body now lying along the length of his, and she propped herself up on one elbow so that she was able to see his face when she spoke to him.

"If you want to watch a movie, Rick, we can watch a movie. But I had something a little more…_intimate_ in mind," she said, walking her fingers suggestively up his chest, before tugging lightly on a shirt button.

Castle swallowed, hard. This was totally new to him - feeling as if he'd lost his smooth in the face of his sexy partner lying beside him on his sofa at eleven o'clock at night, when they both knew that they'd be going to bed together at some point. He just never would have guessed that Kate would be the one taking the lead all the time, always making the first move.

There were clues in their professional life he could have picked up on, if he'd thought about it, clues like, '_stay behind me, Castle_', '_wait in the car, Castle'_, '_don't touch anything, Castle_', and his own personal favorite, '_you comin' Castle?_' So the signs were there, that Kate Beckett would not be a shrinking violet in bed, or anywhere else they opted to get intimate for that matter, and it excited him beyond belief.

"Intimate," he repeated, trying not to choke on the word as he felt an instant tightening in his groin. "We can certainly do intimate. In fact, intimate is kind of my specialty."

"Then what are we waiting for?" grinned Kate, climbing over her partner to get off the sofa, and then offering him her hand.

She pulled him upright and he stumbled against her, hands reaching for her waist to steady them both.

"Hey," he said, holding her still for a second. "I know I keep saying that you're amazing, Kate, and I don't want that word to lose its impact. But you _are_, truly amazing. The way you handled my mother tonight? The woman is _eating out of your hand_. And I think I saw Alexis laugh for the first time since graduation."

"I wouldn't count your chickens just yet," warned Kate, leading him towards the bedroom. "We've got a way to go on that one. Maybe once we celebrate our silver wedding anniversary she'll admit that we aren't a disaster waiting to happen."

The words were out of Kate's mouth before she could think to stop them.

"Silver, that's like _twenty-five years_," exclaimed Castle, his voice laced with amazement.

Kate couldn't tell if he was comparing it to a long stretch up State courtesy of the DOC, or an earthly paradise for two.

He tugged on her hand to turn her back to face him. "You're already picturing us _married_ for _that long?_" he grinned, looking absolutely delighted.

Kate looked as if she couldn't believe her ears. She certainly couldn't believe the stuff that had just come out of her own mouth.

"I'm not talking about this," she said hurriedly, turning away from Castle with her cheeks flaming as she attempted to make it to the relative darkness and privacy of the bedroom.

"Too late, Kate. You're already talking about it, or your mouth is, and since your brain operates your mouth, I guess your brain is in on it too," rambled Castle, trailing after her.

She looked panicked and horrified. Castle clearly thought it was hilarious.

"We are _not_ having this conversation right now," she repeated, walking away from him peeling her shirt off and dropping it onto a chair.

"Fine. You don't have to propose right away," he joked, as he followed her into the bedroom, delighting in her discomfort. "But just so you know, I would have said _yes_," he called after her, as she let out a frustrated, embarrassed groan and closed the bathroom door in his face.

* * *

Castle was lounging on the bed in his boxer shorts, reading, when Kate exited the bathroom five or so minutes later. She had stood in front of the mirror silently berating herself for her own stupidity until she calmed herself back down enough to face him again.

Castle was right, she may as well have proposed and then asked him how many kids he wanted, for all the subtlety her comments had exhibited. There was wearing your heart on your sleeve, which she was determined to do – no games, no secrets – and then there was sharing every girly daydream, every fantasy and hope you'd ever harbored, when they'd barely been together forty-eight hours.

He looked up from his book when she hovered in the doorway, illuminated from behind by the light from the bathroom. Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest, and she leant against the doorjamb, dressed in jeans and a simple white vest, just watching him. Her features had softened, any tension removed by tiredness, and she looked a little uncertain, less assured than normal.

"I'm not saying never," she said eventually, speaking so quietly that Castle sat up straighter in bed to concentrate on what was apparently going to be a momentous discussion, all borne out of his earlier teasing. "I'm just saying…not yet," she added, sliding her eyes to the floor, waiting for whatever comeback her partner would have to that statement.

Castle smiled softly, on the outside. Inside, his heart was doing somersaults in his chest, as he tried to keep himself under control, and rein in the enormous grin that was threatening to split his face in two.

"I'm honored that you've even said that much. Really, Kate," he said sincerely, reaching his hand out to her.

"Now you're mocking me," Kate grumbled, slouching off the doorframe, and shuffling towards him regardless.

Castle laughed, entertained by this embarrassed, softhearted, tired, unguarded, honest version of Kate.

"Come here," he said quietly, tugging her down onto the bed beside him. "I'm not mocking you, Kate. I promise. Far from it. I'm actually really pleased that you brought this up."

He kissed her forehead, settling in against her.

"You are?" she asked, raising her head from his shoulder to look at him.

"_Yes_. I _am_. Because it means that _I _don't have to."

When Kate spoke, she sounded confused. "You didn't want to?"

"No. No, honey, I did. I completely, totally, and utterly did. I just thought it was too soon, that's all."

Castle's voice was soft and earnest, laced with a tiny fraction of the emotion he was feeling right now, and Kate either didn't hear the term of endearment he used, decided to ignore it, or she actually kind of liked it. Naturally, Castle was hoping for the latter.

Kate looked relieved. "So we both agree? It's too soon."

"I didn't say that it was too soon for _me_. I know what I _want_, Kate," he said solemnly. "I just think…_maybe_, that it's too soon for _you_."

"Castle, you're making my heart race," she confessed.

The words came out sounding panicked, like a warning, and she found his hand and pressed it to her chest to show him the effect he was having on her; the weight of his words.

"That has always been my aim, Kate, to get your heart racing. Glad to hear I finally pulled it off," he joked, twining his fingers through hers over her heart.

"Castle, I'm serious. You'd better mean what you just said, because one day, not too far from now, it _won't_ be too soon, and I need to know that we're headed in the same direction."

"Kate," he paused for breath, feeling his own heart pick up the same clamoring, agitated rhythm, his whole body tingling with excitement like pin and needles. "We were _always_ headed in the same direction. We just took our time getting here."

"_Always?_" she repeated, smiling to herself at the familiar word: their own private code.

"Always, Kate," he repeated, brushing his lips against her ear as she held his hand over her heart.

_A/N: Double awww! This conversation will probably not take place in S5 at all…but we can dream, right?_


	24. Chapter 24 In The Wee Small Hours

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 24 – In The Wee Small Hours_**

Kate woke with a shiver at around two o'clock in the morning. She felt cold, confused, and out of sorts. Without thinking, she instinctively sought out the heat from her partner's body, rolling towards him only half-awake, realizing the moment she turned over that they'd fallen asleep on top of the covers, and she was still wearing her jeans.

Ah, their talk. The '_how soon is too soon'_ discussion came flooding back to her in a confusing mix of embarrassment and fluttering excitement. She pressed her lips to Castle's bare shoulder, and then eased herself off the bed to visit the bathroom.

Once inside, she stripped off her jeans, used the toilet, and then washed her hands. She examined her face in the mirror, squinting in the too bright light over the vanity – her eyes looked sleepy and her hair was mussed, but she looked happy, genuinely happy, and it was all thanks to the man sleeping soundly in the next room. _That_, and her own personal courage in finally going after what she really wanted in life - something positive and life affirming, instead of the obsessive, dangerous pursuit of ghosts, and a death defying drive for justice.

She carried her jeans out into the bedroom, placing them on the chair beside her discarded shirt, and climbed back into bed wearing just her underwear and a white cotton vest.

Castle moved the instant Kate eased back the covers, and then his eyes blinked open in the half-light, before slamming shut again. Kate settled in beside him, tugging the sheet gently over her legs, aiming just to fall back asleep until she felt the heavy warmth of a hand sliding over her hip and settling against her stomach.

* * *

"We fell asleep," mumbled Castle inanely, pointing out the blindingly obvious in his drowsy state.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I was cold," whispered Kate, rolling onto her back with Castle's hand splayed across her stomach. "Do you want to get in under the covers?" she offered, her voice barely a murmur.

Her partner grunted, and then rolled off to the side to tug the sheets out from beneath him. Then he shuffled back towards Kate, scooting ever closer until his front was pressed up against her back so that they were spooning together.

"How's that?" he asked, his voice less sleepy now. "Warmer?"

"Mmm," murmured Kate, laying a hand over Castle's where it rested across her middle.

"We should go out tomorrow," he said, out of nowhere as he pushed himself up against Kate's warm body, wriggling to get the best fit, until there was no space left between them.

"Out?" asked Kate, enjoying the flood of warmth spreading through her.

"Yeah. You know, into the big wide world. We've been home so much the last couple of days. We should get some fresh air. Go for coffee or something."

"And this is occupying your mind right now?" asked Kate, driven to amused wakefulness by Castle's sudden burst of chatter.

"_You _woke _me _up, woman. Don't complain if it got me thinking," he chided, flexing his fingers playfully against her abdomen.

"I said sorry, Castle. Quit complaining. Besides, it's Thursday tomorrow, right? I mean today."

"All day," he murmured. "Why? You got some special Thursday thing you do that you've never told me about?" he joked.

Kate cleared her throat, and then turned over in his arms to face him. She could just make out his eyes in the dark, glinting like a couple of rare black diamonds.

"I have an appointment every Thursday morning at eight. With my therapist, Dr. Burke. You remember I told you that I'd been seeing someone?"

"Sure. I remember, Kate," he said softly, stroking his thumb up and down her arm.

"It's just a standing appointment, I mean it has nothing to do with…" she trailed off rather awkwardly.

"I understand. Besides, it sounds to me as if this Dr. Burke is someone I should be thanking. For helping to get rid of that wall we've been peering over these last few years."

His tone was light, and non-judgmental, for which Kate was utterly grateful. He didn't pry or try to persuade her to forgo the appointment. He was supportive and appropriate, and so she relaxed against him, with her head resting on his chest this time, their legs tangled up together beneath the sheets.

"Why don't I drive you to your appointment, and then we can go get a late breakfast?" Castle suggested, after a couple of minutes silence, his hand stroking her back. "And if you'd rather go alone, then please say. I won't be offended," he assured her.

"Actually, that would be nice. I'm usually heading straight to the precinct after I leave his office, and though things have been much easier lately…after a session, I don't think I'd know what to do with myself now that…well, now that I'm not a cop anymore."

Her confession was gratifyingly honest. The unspoken parts, hinting at just how hard some of her therapy sessions must have been, made Castle feel guilty that he hadn't known about this, and therefore had been unable to help her through it before.

Her issues with no longer being a cop, having no clear role in life, was a whole other Pandora's box that they hadn't worked up the nerve to address yet. One day at a time.

* * *

"I wish you had told me you were getting help," he said eventually, gently carding his fingers through her hair. "I could have supported you better. I would have understood more, Kate, and…and avoided some stupid, hurtful mistakes," he said regretfully.

"I needed to do this on my own, Castle. Well, at least I thought I did. It just kind of flowed from that summer, when I shut myself away from everything and everyone in order to heal, to try and make sense of all the messy, frightening feelings that come with being hunted down and shot at by some faceless hired killer. I came back to work, I carried on seeing Dr. Burke, and the two things remained tied together – separate from you and me, from the boys and my family."

Castle kept quiet, just listening to what she was telling him. Pleased that she was opening up, and by the trust she was showing him.

"Sometimes I would arrive at the Twelfth so drained and exhausted, or just so damned angry, after a session that I could have punched my fist straight through a wall. But you were always there, waiting for me with a smile and a cup of coffee, and you cheered me up. You didn't know what you were doing for me, what you were giving me, but it meant a lot, Rick. So, without even knowing it, you _were_ supporting me in your own way."

"I'm just glad I could help, Kate. You know I'd do anything for you?" He paused to brush a kiss to her forehead. "I just hope you didn't tell this Dr. Burke guy what a jerk I can be?"

Kate laughed, the sound quickly absorbed by the dark quiet of the bedroom.

"We did talk a lot about you during our sessions," she confessed, a smile coating her voice. "And I can't say I didn't rant about your behavior now and then. But mostly it was good. I was just trying to figure out how to get _here_, and at the time it seemed like such a difficult thing to achieve. Looking back on it now, I feel kind of foolish for the fuss I made. Dr. Burke is so calm and so patient, but he was probably sitting there thinking, '_for god's sake, Kate, just tell the guy how you feel_'."

She laughed again, burying her face against Castle's neck, embarrassed by the thought that her therapist saw her as a weak procrastinator.

Castle held her a little tighter, rubbing his chin against the top of her head, relishing the silky feel of her hair sliding over his skin.

"Hey, you weren't the only one who made a production out of getting together. So, you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We both made mistakes, Kate."

"I'd like for Dr. Burke to meet you," she said suddenly, out of the blue. "Maybe you can come by at the end of my hour and say hi?" she suggested timidly.

"I would really like that," said Castle, overwhelmed by the invitation. He wondered if this might be a good time to tackle another tricky subject they had both been avoiding.

* * *

"We haven't talked about your resignation yet," he reminded her, biting his lip and bracing himself for her reply.

She was slow to speak, but when she did it was with clarity and honesty.

"I'm not hiding from it, I promise. I know we need to address it, talk it over, whatever. I've just been dealing with the immediate, with what's right in front of me – focusing on us, and Alexis – trying to find some kind of new normal for us, while we adjust to suddenly being together like this. I don't even know where you do your grocery shopping, Rick. If you take vitamins, have allergies, what kind of shaving gel you use, whether or not you like cream cheese or peanut butter, Rothko or Picasso."

Castle laughed at the last one, and nodded against her head to let her know that he understood.

"These are all big blanks for me, and I've just needed this time to ease into us. And to put some distance between the old and the new. Does that make sense? Two days ago I was fighting for my life on a rooftop, and tonight I was eating pizza with your mom and your daughter as if none of that crazy stuff had ever happened. It's a big leap to make, so I'm taking baby steps here. But we'll get to it, I promise."

Castle brushed his cheek against hers, nuzzling her to let her know how grateful he was, for her care, and her foresight, and her fearlessness. Eventually, he found his voice to share a few truths of his own.

* * *

"Kate, I know this is a difficult thing for you to do, but can I ask you to lean on me more? Only not just the way you have been recently, with your mom's case, or the job or the suspension, resignation, whatever, but for all of it…just…life in general. Whenever I start to see you or Alexis, or my mother even, needing me less…well, that's when things start to go wrong for me, that's when I go off the rails. I _know_ you need to feel strong and independent, and I'll do my best to respect that, but I also need to feel needed. And maybe that sounds pathetic, I don't know. What I _do_ know is that it's taken me _years_ and so many mistakes to figure that out. So, can you do that for me?"

Kate considered his request, trailing her nails slowly over his skin, tickling the fine hair coating his forearm.

She wanted to keep things light between them as they navigated their way through the beginnings of their relationship – making concessions, trading territory, learning to share. But he really wasn't asking for much.

"_So_…what you're _really_ saying is that I'd be doing you a _favor_?" she suggested, humor lacing her voice. "If I lean on you, that is?"

Because she _had_ noticed this need in him before, the way he had to fix stuff, offer solutions, how his generosity was tied up in the same drive to help out, to be needed, and to be at the center of things. Richard Castle _needed_ people, and he needed them to need him back. It was a fundamental part of who he was.

"Yes, you'd be doing me a favor, Kate," he replied, tweaking her sides, and reading her like a book. "Exactly that."

She could make this concession to _him_, as long as it didn't make _her_ look weak. They understood one another so well, it made finding a compromise that much easier.

"Okay then. I promise to lean on _you_, if you agree to meet Dr. Burke tomorrow. _Deal?_"

"Deal."

* * *

Castle shook her hand, and then yawned loudly, arching his back in a full stretch that forced his body up against hers.

"Playing with fire there, Mister," she muttered, brushing her lips across his throat and down to his collarbone, her hands starting to wander and explore beneath the sheets.

"Is that an invitation?" he asked, sliding his knee between her thighs and then easing her over onto her back so that he hovered above her.

"The invitation is open ended, Rick. Just so we're clear," Kate informed him, running her fingers underneath the waistband of his shorts. "No need to RSVP," she murmured, against the corner of his mouth.

"Well, if that's the case," whispered Castle, meeting her lips with his, "then I'll gladly accept."

Kate wrapped her leg around the back of his thigh, sliding her smooth skin across his light coating of hair as she drew him down on top of her. She kicked the sheets off with her other leg, and tugged at his underwear until he took the hint, and stripped them off the rest of the way.

"I like this pre-dawn meeting of minds we've got going," he whispered in her ear, as he slipped his hand between her legs, stroking rhythmically until she arched her body beneath him.

Whimpering and breathless, Kate clung on. He brought her to the edge of the abyss, her mouth hot against his skin, panting, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. And then, when he felt that she couldn't take it anymore, he entered her, taking him with her until he carried her over the edge with him, while the blood thundered in their veins.

_A/N: This is one long night! ;) But you seem happy enough for me to keep up this gentle pace. (no dirty pun intended) Again, thank you to everyone for the amazing, insightful reviews. Next chapter just needs editing, and then it'll be up._


	25. Chapter 25 What's Up Doc?

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 25 – What's Up Doc?_**

"Castle, hurry up. We're going to be late," Kate called across the loft.

She was standing by the front door, waiting earnestly, arms crossed, tapping her foot, intermittently checking her watch.

And then she started pacing.

She'd had precisely one cup of coffee that morning, and half a slice of toast that Martha had forced on her, and already she was jittery with nerves. One coffee, and the small fact that she was taking her boyfriend to meet her therapist in a little over an hour, was all it took to make Kate nervous as hell.

* * *

Castle, meanwhile, was doing a little pacing of his own - in front of his bedroom mirror.

Having finally settled on the last of the _three _shirts he'd tried on - a royal blue dress shirt with French cuffs - he was now struggling to decide between a navy cashmere sport coat (which brought out the color of his eyes), and a brown swede jacket (that he was convinced made him look slimmer).

A knock on the bedroom door caused him to jump. Alexis popped her head round when he called for her to come in.

"Dad, Kate's going ballistic out there. You're going to make her late or something."

"I know. I know. Tell her I'll be right out, would you?"

Alexis watched him for a minute, and then she scanned the room, taking in the discarded pile of clothes, which littered the bed.

"You'd better mean that dad," she said slowly, studying him. "The woman's trained in hand-to-hand combat, remember? She could take you down with a flick of her wrist."

Castle looked affronted, and Alexis was on the point of making her excuses and leaving when he called her back.

"Sweetie, wait. Which jacket?" he asked, doing a slow turn in front of her in the navy cashmere. Then he held up the brown swede to allow her to choose.

Alexis put her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at him.

"_This _is why you're _late?_ Deciding which jacket to wear? _Seriously,_ dad? Kate is _freaking_ out there."

"It's not just the jacket. First there was the shirt. But I think I've got that nailed. Don't you?" he asked, opening his jacket to show his daughter.

"You're not auditioning for America's Next Top Model, dad. You're taking Kate out for breakfast. And I'm sure I don't have to remind you that she is now _officially_ your girlfriend? So, she kind of already bought the package: handsome writer, judgmental kid, eccentric mother - the whole kit and caboodle."

"Alexis…" he began to say.

"Chop, chop, dad. Kate's waiting."

"We're not just going out for breakfast, pumpkin," he confessed, stopping Alexis in her tracks.

She turned back round, and for the first time since she'd entered the room, she really looked at him properly, and saw the frazzled, nervous look in his eyes.

"Dad, what's this all about? You haven't looked this nervous since…well, since Kevin and Jenny's wedding. When I told you I couldn't be your plus one, remember? And you were terrified Kate would bring a date, so you spent like an hour deciding which tie to wear."

Castle stood listening to her with a huffy scowl on his face.

"It wasn't an hour, and I wasn't terrified."

Alexis cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Well, maybe just a little," he admitted.

"Are you _actually_ worried what Kate's going to think of your jacket?" she asked, her forehead knitting into a puzzled frown. "Because dad, you look great in both," she added quickly, confused by this sudden lack of confidence from the former _Bachelor Number Nine_.

Castle shook his head and squeezed Alexis by the shoulder.

"Thanks, pumpkin. But do you remember when Kate told you that she'd been seeing a therapist?"

"Yes," Alexis nodded, the look of confusion remaining on her face.

"_Well_…she's taking me to meet him this morning," he announced, pausing for dramatic effect as if this revelation should be accompanied by a drum roll. "After her session is over, I'm going to his office and she's going to introduce us," he explained, and then he resumed his nervous pacing in front of the mirror.

"_And_…?" asked Alexis, still failing to see his point.

"_And_ this is important stuff. It's a big step. For Kate. For both of us. So, I want to look my best."

"Dad, he's a shrink," Alexis pointed out, as if he were crazy. (Oh the irony) "He'll see right through your clothes, the shoes, and have you mentally profiled and pigeonholed inside the first five minutes. It's what they _do_."

"What's wrong with my _shoes?_" Castle practically wailed, staring down at his feet in panic.

Alexis sighed loudly, and muttered "_Nothing_," in a tone of pure exasperation. "The shoes are great, dad. The rest of you too. Just ask yourself, '_would Dr. Phil care what I'm wearing?'_" she asked calmly, pausing to let her words sink in.

"Dr. Phil?" asked Castle. "_Really?_ I paid for an expensive high school education, and you're giving me _Dr. Phil_? That's really the best you can do? _Alexis_," he sighed in disgust.

None of this information made Castle feel any better. In fact he felt ten times more nervous. The guy was going to judge him, and if he failed on the clothing front, he'd definitely be found wanting on the psychological profiling front. He was neurotic, over excitable, childish, needy, _and_ he drove Kate mad.

But she loved him, right? He had to remember that part. And if Kate loved him then he had to have some redeeming qualities, surely.

He switched his attention back to his precocious daughter.

"And just when did you become so cynical? You've spent too much time hanging out with Lanie Parish lately. _And_ you're growing up too fast," he complained, pulling her into a bear hug.

"Well, if _you_ don't get yourself out there inside the next thirty seconds, dad, Kate's going to stunt _your_ growth _permanently_."

Alexis let him go, and headed for the door.

"I'd go with the navy, by the way. It brings out the color of your eyes," she added, giving her father a wink.

Castle gave himself a final once over in the mirror, smoothed his hands through his hair and gathered his thoughts. '_We're finally doing this. Our time has arrived. Do not screw this up, Rick Castle,'_ were his parting words of advice to himself.

* * *

"Sorry, sorry," said Castle, holding up his hands in apology as he hurried towards her across the living room.

Kate was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter chatting to his mother, having given up her vigil by the front door when Alexis reported back on his little wardrobe crisis. The traitor!

She checked her watch, and stood up to greet him.

"Rick, you look great," she said, biting her lip to keep from smiling, but there was laughter in her eyes.

"Thanks. Did Alexis put you up to that?" he asked, looking across the kitchen at his mother and daughter who were huddled together, grinning at them from the far side of the island; two crafty collaborators.

"We should really get going," said Kate, holding her hand out for his car keys.

"You're not going to let me drive?" he asked, handing the keys over anyway, as if he had no say in the matter.

"Do you _know_ where we're going, Rick?" Kate pointed out.

"_No_. But if you tell me…"

"Then, we'll get there faster if I drive."

"I'm taking you to your appointment, Kate. The whole point is that I drop you off. Otherwise, I may as well just give you my car so you can drive yourself."

"That'll work for me," replied Kate cheekily, grinning at Martha and Alexis when he started to pout.

Martha laughed. "Well, don't you two look cute? Arguing over who gets to drive like an old married couple."

"Not helping, mother," groaned Castle, taking Kate's elbow and propelling her towards the door.

"Have a great day!" yelled Martha.

"Keep your mouth shut and you'll do fine, dad," advised Alexis, giggling.

Castle looked back over his shoulder to throw a glare in his daughter's direction.

"I can quite easily cancel your college tuition, oh daughter of mine."

"Idle threats have no impact, believe me," advised Kate, tugging him out of the door and down the hallway before they were delayed any further.

* * *

They stood in silence, waiting for the elevator, both of them a little on edge.

"West 23rd between 5th and 6th," Kate said quietly, reaching for his hand.

She pressed his keys back into his palm, eyes facing forward the whole time, looking calm and serene and utterly beautiful.

Castle gratefully pocketed the keys and then reclaimed her hand, guiding her in through the doors ahead of him. He bumped her shoulder playfully once they were inside.

"So, how're you doing? I feel like I've hardly seen you this morning."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Castle, we just got up together, showered _together_, unsuccessfully," she added, sliding her eyes to his with a smirk, "and here we are, _still_ together."

"But you got dressed so quickly and left," he complained.

"I was in the kitchen with your mother," she grinned at his idiocy, "not off joining the French Foreign Legion."

"Oh! Hot image alert – you in a tight uniform, with that cute little white pillbox hat," he blurted, and Kate nudged him in the ribs to make him behave.

"We had coffee, and she made me eat toast. She _made me, Castle_," Kate whined. "I had no idea Martha could be such a tyrant."

"She's always been big on breakfast, my mother. Says it sets her up for the day. I think she likes to ingest her calories early, so she can rely on liquid refreshment the rest of the time, if you know what I mean."

Kate laughed and tugged on his hand when the elevator doors opened, leading him out into the parking garage after her.

* * *

The Ferrari was lying in wait; bright red, muscled, and sleek. Kate couldn't keep the smile off her face.

His beautiful, sexy girlfriend was a gearhead. What guy could resist that?

"I'll let you drive home," promised Castle, watching the delight on her face, the sparkling light in her eyes as she trailed her fingers over the cherry-red paintwork. "Hell, the way you look right now, Kate, you can keep the damn car, it's yours. Just keep smiling like that, and you can have anything you want."

She gave him a lazy grin, opened the door and lowered herself inside, relishing the feel of supple, cream leather, the low-slung suspension, the growl of the engine beneath her when it fired to life, and her handsome partner at her side. This definitely beat her regular visit to Dr. Burke, and boy did it feel good.

They arrived at the anonymous building just off Fifth Avenue that housed Dr. Burke's office with fifteen minutes to spare. Kate turned to look at Castle, fighting the urge to run her fingers through his hair and lower the seats as far back as they would go. There was just something about this man in this car that made her feel…_so darn hot_.

She swiped a hand under her hair to lift it off her neck to cool down, and then tried to focus on the reason for their early morning visit to Chelsea.

"Okay, so, I'll see you back here in an hour?" she confirmed, suddenly a little breathless, her nerves resurfacing. "Suite 1215 on the tenth floor, turn right…"

"When I exit the elevator, yeah. Kate, I got it," he said, smiling sympathetically at her. "You'd better go in. You don't want to be late," he said, taking her hand and gently rubbing his thumb across her knuckles to calm her down.

She leant across to kiss him goodbye, brushing their lips lightly together at first, and then deepening the kiss to the point of head-spinning breathlessness.

Kate pulled away first, reluctantly withdrawing her hand from Castle's thigh, leaving him hanging in mid-air, his lips still damp and puckered, his eyes closed.

"Yeah," she gestured out the window behind her, grinning. "I should really…"

"_Go_. See you in an hour," Castle reassured her, reaching past her to open the door.

With a last look and a wave, she crossed the sidewalk and disappeared inside the building, leaving him for the first time in over sixty hours.

Castle watched her go, until she disappeared from view completely, and then he put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. He found a parking spot one block over, and then walked towards Madison Square Park, picking up a coffee and a newspaper on the way. He settled on a bench in the sunshine, and prepared to pass the longest, slowest hour of his life.

* * *

Kate barely got seated in the reception area before Dr. Burke appeared at the door to his office to invite her in for her session.

His secretary smiled at Kate as she passed the desk, giving her the same pleased look she'd been telegraphing since Kate had arrived. She briefly wondered if her lipstick was smudged, or if it was the smudges Richard Castle had left all over her heart that the woman could see. Then she groaned inwardly; the man was turning her to mush.

* * *

"Good morning Kate. Please take a seat," said Dr. Burke, indicating her usual chair by the window.

Kate dropped her bag on the floor, and sat down, drawing one leg up underneath her, settling herself until she got comfortable.

"So, how have you been this week?" the psychiatrist asked, adding, "You look happier, Kate."

Kate smiled. The grin came unbidden to her face, and she looked down at her hands resting in her lap until she could get it under control.

"You're smiling," he noted, reinforcing just what a rare occurrence that had been in this room.

"I am, yes," acknowledged Kate, still unable to tame her grin.

"Care to share the reason?" asked Dr. Burke, mirroring Kate's infectious expression with a smile of his own.

Kate looked up from her hands and straight into her therapist's eyes. "I told him," she said simply, sliding her mom's ring back and forth along its' chain nervously.

"You told him? Kate that's excellent," said Dr. Burke, nodding his approval.

Kate nodded too, biting her lip, unsure where to take this next. Good news was as rare as her smiles in here, so she was a little thrown as to what she should tell him next. She needn't have worried because Dr. Burke was there to lead her through it, as usual.

"And how did that make you feel?" he asked, the standard psychiatric question no match for what Kate was feeling right now.

"Free, relieved, _amazing_, and just _grateful_…so grateful that he still felt the same way," she said, giddy with the memory of all the good stuff.

"That's excellent, Kate. You've made enormous progress. I'm so pleased to hear you using such strong descriptors to express your emotions. I don't think I've heard you use such positive terms to describe your own feelings before."

Kate nodded, listening to the doctor's praise, and trying to accept it, rather than feel patronized by his words.

"You've really surprised me," he continued. "When we last met you seemed quite frustrated by the current situation. You were worried that Castle maybe wasn't there anymore, as you put it. That he wasn't ready, and you were. Can you tell me how you went about resolving those feelings?"

"It's kind of a long story."

"That's what we're here for – to talk things through. So, why don't you start at the beginning?"

"We…uh…got an important lead in my mom's case, and Castle was back on the team, working alongside me, letting me know that I wasn't in this alone anymore. It felt good, really good; him having my back again, partners. I felt like I could do anything. As if I was totally in control of things. But the lead was too good, and we got too close. He came to my apartment a few nights ago to persuade me to drop the investigation. He said that they'd kill me if I kept pursuing it."

"And how did you react? That must have been hard to hear, coming from your partner."

Kate nodded.

"And the whole truth was worse than that. Castle told me that Captain Montgomery had struck a deal for my life, and that he had been the one maintaining that deal, protecting me by making sure I stayed away from the investigation."

"Did he explain why?"

"He said that he loved me."

Doctor Burke raised an eyebrow in surprise, but Kate failed to notice and simply carried on reliving the detail of that night.

"He got quite angry in fact. I'd never seen him like that before; so passionate and emotional. He told me that he loved me, and that he'd been waiting for me to notice him for the last four years. Waiting for me to realize that he was _more_ than just my partner. Four years," she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief.

She let out a shaky laugh, and Dr. Burke silently waited her out, encouraging her to continue.

"I mean how ironic is that?" she asked, swiping a tear from her cheek. "All the hours I've sat _right here_, turning this over and over in my head. How to tell him, whether it would ruin what we have, was I there yet, was _he_ there yet, was I _good enough_? And he was just…waiting for me all along."

"The waiting hasn't done either of you any harm it would seem, Kate."

"Not quite true. No. I felt as if he'd treated me like a child, keeping information from me, and taking away my right to make my own decisions about this key issue in my life. I was the cop, not him. And this was my mom's case. So, when I refused to drop the investigation, he told me that it was over between us. That he had to walk away. I treated him so badly, Dr. Burke."

"You're a strong person, Kate. And this has been something of a personal crusade for you for a very long time. I can see that it would be hard for you to let someone else decide these things on your behalf."

"But he asked me to walk away from this _for him_, if I cared _about him_, and I just stood there, and I said nothing. After he'd poured his heart out to me. I just let him walk away believing that I didn't feel the same for him, that I didn't give a damn."

"But it sounds to me as if you've fixed that now? As if you've taken responsibility for those things you didn't say, when maybe you feel should have? Kate, remember before, in an earlier session, when we talked about intention?"

Kate nodded, pulling up Dr. Burke's advice in her mind.

"And you remember I said that the important thing to consider when we think about how we treat other people is framed _in_ that _intention_. So, in this case, we can say that you didn't deliberately set out to hurt Rick. It wasn't your _intension_ to hurt him. His hurt feelings were actually a product of _your_ need to _heal_, and take time to get to a place where you felt _able_ to deal with _his_ feelings for _you_, and then do something about them. Do you see the difference?"

Kate nodded again, understanding his point on an intellectual level, but feeling no less guilty for the pain she'd caused her partner.

"So, you told him how you feel about him, and you discovered that he still feels the same way about you?" prompted Dr. Burke to get Kate back on track.

"Yes, but…it wasn't plain sailing. He certainly didn't welcome me in with open arms, at first. I _have_ hurt him with my silence, and the lies, with my hesitancy, and my inability to say what needed to be said, whether I intended to or not. He seems to be getting better. We're certainly very close and making a big effort to be completely open with one another. So, hopefully, in time, he will be able to trust me one hundred percent. But I've spent the last two days trying to reassure him that this is real, how I feel about him."

"It _will_ take time, Kate. You've both been through so much. But it sounds as if you've made a really good start. How are you sleeping?" he asked, quite innocently, since this had been an issue for her in the past.

Kate laughed. "We're…well, you know. Nights get interrupted when you first get together," she said honestly, a blush creeping up her neck. "But, other than that, pretty good. Nightmares have almost disappeared since we've been together."

"So, he's staying with you or…"

"No. I'm staying with him. Actually, with _them_. I'm staying with them. His mother and daughter live there too."

"And how is that working out? You seem to be confronting a lot in one go."

"Tell me about it," said Kate, laughing nervously. "His mother is…eccentric and lovely and supportive. She's very happy for us."

"And his daughter?"

"Alexis is…_yeah_, she's a work in progress. If I've spent time reassuring Rick, I've spent even more time trying to convince Alexis that I'm not about to break her dad's heart."

"Well, I'm sure she appreciates you taking her feelings into consideration."

"She a really smart, sensitive girl. And she says she can see how I can be good for her dad. But the more I talk to her, the more I can see how affected she's been by his two failed marriages."

"That was originally one of _your_ concerns _too_, Kate, as I recall."

"Yes. Yes, it was," admitted Kate, a little reluctantly.

"So, what's changed in _your_ mind?"

"I guess he just…he proved himself. By sticking around through everything. He knew that I heard him that day at the cemetery, that I heard him tell me that he loved me, and that I lied to his face about it, over and over, and still he stayed."

"He must love you very much. Does that realization strengthen _your_ feelings for _him_?"

"It lets me feel them. It doesn't strengthen them, per se. I don't think they could really get any stronger. But it lets me feel them without fear of getting hurt. And that was what led me to tell him how I felt in the end. That, and the thought of not having him in my life anymore."

"What _was_ your turning point? That moment of clarity that drove you forward? Try to remember, Kate. Because it's important that we focus on our triumphs in life, and how we got there, how it felt to achieve that success, so that we can tap into that feeling whenever we need to."

Kate paused for a moment to gather her thoughts.

"After he left my apartment, I carried on pursuing the case against his advice, and when my colleague and I eventually cornered the suspect, things started to go wrong. Long story short, I ended up hanging from a ledge twenty stories up, staring death in the face, and in that moment, all I could think about was him."

Dr. Burke rested his chin on his hand, listening to Kate unravel her story with rapt attention.

"I just wanted _him_ - to come find me, to save me, to be my partner again. And when Ryan appeared, and dragged me back over the side, I was so bitterly disappointed to find out that Castle wasn't there. And that was entirely _my fault_. I could actually hear his voice, calling for me to hold on. And it sounded so real. But he wasn't there."

She shook her head to clear away the dark thoughts.

"Anyway, my boss was also part of this little welcoming party, and since Esposito and I had acted without her knowledge, she put us on administrative leave. And I could have lived with that; we violated protocol after all. But it was the words she used that made me see red."

"What did she say?"

"She said that we had dishonored the badge, and that we didn't deserve to wear the uniform. So, I…I just…I resigned."

Dr. Burke leant forward in his chair. "You resigned?"

Kate nodded, smiling suddenly as she realized that this was probably the first time she'd ever actually surprised her imperturbable, eternally professional therapist.

"Yeah, I resigned."

"And then you went to see Castle to tell him that you loved him?"

"Exactly."

Dr. Burke frowned, and steepled his fingers under his chin, looking more thoughtful than usual, but also as if he might be holding back that thought.

"Wait. What? You don't think…? No, you think the two things are connected? That I only told Rick how I felt about him because I don't have a _job_ anymore?" Kate scoffed.

"I'm not saying that exactly. But you have taken on a lot of issues all in one go, Kate. I'm just wondering if you've thought all of this through?"

"_What?_ That I _love_ my partner _more_ that I loved a job that was going to put me in a cold, dark hole in the ground?"

"I wasn't aware that you had to choose, Kate. I never saw this as an ultimatum."

"No," she frowned, frustrated by Dr. Burke's chain of thought. "It's not. It never was. Can't you at least be happy for me? I'm doing what you wanted," she said, her voice rising with her frustration that there might be a grain of truth to his assessment.

"Kate, you have to do what _you_ want. _Always_. This is not about _me_, and it's not even about _Rick_. You have to act in your own best interests in order to be happy. Only then can you make those around you happy. It's great that you've been supporting Rick, and helping his daughter to work through her issues. But don't forget about _you_, is all I'm saying. Work on what _you_ want, what _you_ need, and the rest will flow from there."

He glanced over at the clock on his desk, and sat up a little straighter in his chair.

"Now, I'm afraid we're coming to the end of our session today. You've made excellent progress over the last week, and you can be justifiably proud of all that you've achieved, Kate. Really good work."

The doctor stood, and Kate mirrored his action.

"Just, think about what I said in relation to your job, Kate. It may not be too late to remedy matters, if that's what you decide you need. And by the sounds of things, I'm sure Rick will be there to support you, whatever you decide. We can talk about this some more next week."

Kate smiled again, and nodded. She shook Dr. Burke's hand, warm thoughts of her partner flooding through her at the mention of his name.

"Actually," she began a little tentatively, "I'd like for you to meet him, if you have a moment? He should be waiting right outside."

"It would be my pleasure, Kate," he said, a genuine smile softening the low rumble of his rich baritone. Kate Beckett was certainly full of surprises today, he thought, as he ushered her to the door.

* * *

Kate's heart was pounding. She felt as if she was about to introduce her prom date to her father, rather than her partner to her therapist.

Castle was sitting in the reception area alone, head bowed over a copy of the New York Times, one leg thrown casually across his knee. At the sound of a door opening his head shot up, and as soon as his eyes connected with Kate's the look of anxiety disappeared from his face, to be replaced by a lopsided, lovesick grin.

Kate grinned back helplessly, and Dr. Burke stood aside, observing the pair with quiet amusement.

"Dr. Burke, this is Richard Castle," she said proudly, her voice softening on his name. "And Rick, I'd like you to meet Dr. Burke," she said, holding her hand out to indicate the tall, handsome, black man.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Castle," said the doctor.

"Please, call me Rick?" said Castle, confidently shaking the man's hand.

"Carter Burke," said the doctor, returning the favor. "Kate has told me a lot about you," he said, glancing at a just slightly embarrassed, and yet delighted, Kate.

"I might just…visit the ladies room," said Kate, touching Castle's arm before leaving the two men alone to chat.

"_So_…" said Castle a little awkwardly, shifting his feet, "how's she doing?"

The doctor gestured for Castle to come into his office, away from the open space of the reception area. They sat down just as he and Kate had, facing one another. Castle's knee started to bounce and he tried to silence it by leaning forward in the chair, his hands pressed down against his thighs. He felt exactly like he had the couple of times he'd met Kate's dad, Jim – nervous, immature, and wholly inadequate.

"She's doing really well, all things considered. She told me your good news. Congratulations," said the doctor, dipping his head with a smile. "It's great to finally get a chance to meet you, and put a face to the name and the stories."

Castle groaned, and ran a hand over his face. "I dread to think," he added with a chuckle.

"What Kate might have told me?"

"Yes," said Castle, shaking his head.

"I think you're good for her, Rick. And I think she needs some lightness in her life. Looking at her today, I'd say you have definitely given her a lot of what she needs."

"Thank you. Appreciate that, Doctor. She does the same for me, in fact. Makes me a far better man, I'd go so far as to say."

"We all need someone like that in our lives. Someone to walk with us, and support us with our dreams, and through the difficult times."

"Speaking of…She told you about the resignation I take it? I'm concerned that giving up her role as a detective may not be the best thing for her in the long run. What do you think?"

"That's something you'll have to talk to Kate about, Rick," said Dr. Burke, gently reminding Castle that his primary allegiance was to Kate, as his patient, and of the therapist's code of ethics - to preserve confidentiality at all cost - even if your partner/girlfriend _had_ just introduced you to her psychiatrist.

Kate reappeared at the door, tapping lightly, and then she tentatively poked her head into the office.

Castle shot out of his seat, and stepped forward to shake Dr. Burke's hand.

"Great to meet you, Rick."

"Likewise, doctor."

"Kate, same time next week. Take care until then," he called, watching them walk out of the door together.

* * *

They made their way along the corridor towards the elevators in silence, standing shoulder-to-shoulder as the light indicator slowly climbed the floors. Kate snuck out her pinky finger, and brushed it up and down the outside of Castle's hand, until he turned and smiled at her, and she slid her hand fully into his.

"It's killing you not to say anything right now, isn't it?" she grinned, as the elevator doors popped open.

Castle chuckled. "I think you may know me a little _too_ well."

Kate snorted. "No such thing. We're both students of human nature, Castle. The more insight the better, right? So, how'd it go back there? What'd you think?"

"He seems like a really nice guy. I didn't feel as if he was mentally undressing me. Which is good," he grinned.

Kate laughed out loud, throwing her head back.

"But, just to be serious for a second. He seemed to genuinely care what happens to you, and that's all that matters to me. We both have your best interests at heart, Kate. So that makes him a good guy in my eyes."

She let go of Castle hand, and slid her arm around his waist, letting her head fall to his shoulder. Castle slipped his own arm around her back, and then they stepped out of the elevator together and on out into the street, walking in comfortable silence.

"So, how about we go get some breakfast?" he said eventually.

"I thought you'd never ask," she grinned, lightly squeezing his side.

"Come on. I know this great little place over on Broadway," he said, leading her off down the street. "Best pancakes in the city."

_A/N: Any thoughts on Dr. Burke? I can just imagine Castle fretting over what he should wear. ;)_


	26. Chapter 26 Brunch

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 26 – Brunch_**

"Castle, this place is gorgeous. Why haven't we been here before?" Kate asked quite innocently, her face all smiles and light as she turned back to look at her partner who was following her into the stylish, offbeat, deli-come-café on Broadway, his fingers resting lightly against her waist.

Castle shrugged, a little baffled by Kate's question. He looked as if he didn't know how to reply to it because maybe the answer should be obvious. "Low crime area, I guess," he settled on eventually, gesturing over Kate's shoulder to the hostess.

Kate bit her lip and silently cursed her stupid question. Because _I'm an idiot_ was one answer that immediately sprung to mind. Or we've been dating all of five minutes, and they had only ever gone out to eat in and around cases to the same few restaurants and diners, and this was clearly a Castle family place. Her past mistakes were coming back to haunt her at every turn. All the wasted time. Far too much wasted time. But this was something she was going to have to live with, and come face-to-face with on a regular basis. Still, they were here now, and, as Dr. Burke would probably tell her, that was all that mattered.

* * *

"Hey, Mindy. Long time no see. You're looking good. Man, it's going like a fair in here" said Castle, looking around at the packed cafe. "You guys are still hitting the mark, I see."

'Mindy' duly bypassed Kate to greet her partner, kissing the writer on both cheeks. Castle smiled warmly at the young woman, and gave her a quick hug. He turned around looking for Kate, gently taking hold of her elbow in order to draw her closer and include her in the little group.

Kate had stepped off to the side to allow the two to greet one another on their own, unsure of the nature of their relationship, and whether it warranted privacy or not.

"Kate, I'd like you to meet Mindy Graham. Mindy and her family have been running this amazing little place for three generations. They serve up _the_ best buttermilk short stack in Manhattan," he beamed, watching Kate shake the petite, pretty blonde's hand.

"Wow! That's…that's quite an accolade coming from him," said Kate, feeling just a tiny bit on edge, as she tried to fathom the link between these two.

"Sorry, Mindy," said Castle, snapping out of his Kate-filled daydream and remembering his manners. "I should have said. This is my girlfriend, Kate."

"Wow! My turn to be impressed," said Mindy. "You're really trading up in the world, Rick. She's gorgeous," said the young woman generously, giving Kate a studied once over.

Kate blushed and looked away, scanning the restaurant to distract herself from the woman's close scrutiny by checking out the other diners.

"Actually, punching above my weight is how I'd probably describe it," she overhead Castle saying. He laughed exuberantly, his eyes sparkling as he slipped his hand around Kate's waist and drew her in against his side.

"Well, let's see if we can't _do_ something about your weight then. Looking a little undernourished there, Rick. Kate not feeding you properly?" the woman joked, quite harmlessly, though the remark grated on Kate a little.

'_Kate not feeding you properly?'_ Shit! Castle looked conflicted over just how or even whether to reply to that question, since the truth was that Kate barely seemed to feed herself, never mind him. In fact, he'd been the one doing the feeding these last four years. And that whole issue aside, they'd been together all of two days. So, what to say?

"Actually, we just…" he floundered, and Kate laid a cool hand on his wrist to help him out.

"We just need a table for two," she interjected calmly, getting him out of the fix.

"Okey dokey. Two it is. No Alexis today? We have some of that homemade organic granola that she loves."

"No, just a table for two thanks. But I'll tell Alexis that you were thinking of her," replied Castle, giving Kate a grateful smile.

* * *

The hostess seated them in a corner table by the window, so that they both had a good view of the street. Crowds of busy, focused-looking people hurried past on their way to meetings, or the dry cleaner, going shopping, to the gym, or just heading home from the pre-school drop-off.

Kate studied the menu quietly, only vaguely aware of the hubbub going on around them.

The café's matchboard panelled walls were painted cream, giving the space a light, airy, almost New England feel. The large windows were edged in dark green, and the worn wooden tables and floor gave it a lived in feel. The deli section of the café was darker, and the air had a rich salty aroma, the scent given off by open sacks of dark, shiny coffee beans, the dried salamis and chorizo hanging from a steel beam over the counter, and a wide selection of exotic cheeses and olives laid out in the chiller cabinet. One whole wall was dedicated to wine and champagne, with rows and rows of French, German, New World and indigenous labels on display on dark wood shelves.

"So, how long were you and Mindy an item?" Kate asked at length, without looking up from her menu. Her expression was one of school nonchalance, and she kept her tone light and neutral, with just a hint of amusement layered in there somewhere to mask the seed of jealousy that had sprung up out of nowhere.

Castle snorted, and then tore his gaze back to his partner from where he'd been staring contentedly out of the window, when he realized that Kate was being serious and actually expected him to answer the question.

"Never. I…Kate, I've known the girl since she was a kid. And do you seriously think I would bring you in here to flaunt one of my ex's under your nose?"

Kate covered her eyes with her hand, as a blush delicately colored her cheeks, and she ducked her head.

"God, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. She just…you guys looked like you had history together. And she seemed to know Alexis so well, and I guess I'm just a little on edge where my relationship with your daughter is concerned. It was stupid. I'm…can you please forgive me before I die of embarrassment?"

Castle covered her hand with his and squeezed it gently.

"It's actually kind of cute…coming from you. I mean look at you, Kate. You're a _stunningly_ beautiful woman, in case I've never told you that before. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never told you that before. You'd have had my head if I had. I meant what I said about punching above my weight, you know. You are _way _out of my league."

Kate shook her head and patted his hand, grinning mischievously. "I just landed the white whale. I think that trumps a former homicide detective. But, thank you. For the lovely compliment, and for being so understanding. You can see now why I'm seeing Dr. Burke," she added self-depreciatingly, laughing at her own expense.

"You might want to ask for a refund," joked Castle, before leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Hey," said Kate, pulling away from him with mock outrage. "Dr. Burke thinks I'm making good progress."

"Yeah, he told me the same thing."

"You…you _talked_ to him? About _me_?" Kate asked, sounding surprised.

"Well, _yeah_. A little. Did you expect me not to? _What_? Were we supposed to talk about his golf handicap or something? You never said."

"No. No, of course not. What did he say?" asked Kate, trying to hide her eagerness.

"Well, I'm not sure how much I can say really. There _is_ the small matter of doctor-patient confidentiality to consider, after all."

Kate laughed, and swatted Castle on the arm with her napkin.

"Yeah, very funny. But, since you're neither the doctor nor the patient, I'd say it's okay for you to tell me."

"I asked him what he thought about you resigning. Just...giving up your job like that," Castle confessed. "It's been bothering me and I wanted to get his take on it."

"What did he have to say?" asked Kate quietly.

"He told me that I should discuss it with you myself."

"Oh. I see."

"That he couldn't talk to me about it for the very reasons I was just joking about. He's a stickler for the rules, that one."

"Uh huh."

"So, can we? Talk, I mean?"

"Sure. We can talk," agreed Kate. "Can I get a cup of coffee first?"

"Of course. Sorry. Now, where's Hetty?" Castle wondered aloud, scanning the room for Mindy's mother, their waitress. "Ah ha!" he waved her over.

"Richard Castle!" exclaimed the older woman, wrapping Castle up in a warm hug. "Where the heck have you been hiding?"

"I've been kind of busy lately, Hetty, with my book and police work," said Castle, glancing over at Kate. "But I've brought someone I'd really like you to meet. Hetty, allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Kate."

"Kate," said the woman, warmly wrapping the hand Kate extended between both of her own and holding it there. "Oh _my_," she exclaimed, turning to look at Castle. "You've done well for yourself, Richard."

Kate's eyes grew large and round as she listened to the woman congratulating Castle as if she were a prize heifer.

"Thank you, Hetty," replied Castle, his eyes crinkling at the corners in delight. Catching Kate's expression he quickly added, "Could we get some coffee while we decide on our order?"

Thankfully the woman took the hint, and left them alone to talk.

* * *

"Feeling scrutinized enough?" asked Castle, giving her a sympathetic look. "They don't mean any harm. They just like to poke their noses into their customer's lives. In fact, Alexis refused to come here when she was dating Ashley because she knew Hetty would totally embarrass her in front of him."

"Yeah, I can sympathize. It feels kind of like being back at the precinct for a perp walk following the take down of a porn ring," said Kate dryly.

"Really?" laughed Castle. "That bad?"

"Let's just say the short stack better be as good as advertised, Castle."

"I think I can confidently say that you will be impressed, Kate. You want a side of blueberries and strawberries with that?"

"Sounds good," agreed Kate, placing her menu back on the table, and brushing her fingers across the back of his hand.

* * *

Their coffee and pancakes finally arrived, and Hetty made herself scarce, but only after asking Castle if they'd set a date for the big day yet.

Castle looked like a deer in the headlights. But Kate was on form, and feeling full of mischief, so she jumped in and replied for both of them.

"Actually, Hetty, we're hoping to hear the patter of tiny feet soon. So, we've decided not to set a date until after Alexis goes off to college. We'll need her room for a nursery. But we've been getting plenty of practice in the meantime, haven't we, Ricky?" said Kate, her face betraying none of the humor behind her remark, as she cupped his cheek with her palm and stroked her thumb gently across his lower lip while looking at him with adoring eyes, all for Hetty's benefit.

Hetty looked slightly stunned, though no doubt delighted, by Kate's bold statement, and promptly left the lovebirds to eat their breakfast in peace so she could convey this piece of juicy gossip to her daughter.

Castle laughed hard in surprise when the woman left the table, and then he stared at Kate open-mouthed, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Finally his face broke into a huge grin, his eyes dancing with delight.

Kate looked cool as a cucumber. She quirked an eyebrow at him, smirked her sexy smirk, and then lifted a strawberry to her lips. She bit into it slowly and suggestively while her partner watched her, grinning with delight.

"Beckett, are you flirting with me?" asked Castle when he could breathe again, nudging her elbow off the table.

Kate laughed, the rich, throaty sound bubbling free from her chest. "Bit late for that, don't you think? We more or less bypassed the flirting stage, Castle, in case you hadn't noticed. Went straight to the hot sex part."

"God you're hot," he exclaimed, loving her frankness, even if she was messing with him just a little bit.

"Flirt with me, Kate?" he whispered, leaning in close to drop his hand beneath the table so that he could stroke the sensitive skin behind her knee.

"Eat your pancakes, Castle," she replied, popping another strawberry into her mouth, before she moved her hand to his lap and raked her nails up the inside of his thigh making him squirm in his seat.

"Is this a ploy to distract me from talking about your job?" he asked eventually, when her touching got to be too much, and he had to still her hand near the zipper of his pants.

"No. Why would you think that?" she asked innocently.

"Because I know you, Katherine Beckett."

Kate gave him a narrow eyed glare for the use of her full name.

"You may think you do. But I'm pretty sure I still have a few surprises up my sleeve, Rick."

"Oh, really?" Castle looked excited. "Care to share with the class, Beckett?"

"Nope. But I could squeeze you in for a little private tutoring later."

"You're on."

Kate flashed him a happy smile, excitement fizzing through her at being able to hang out like this and do normal things together without it involving the death of some poor victim or her mother's case. Castle caught her look and mirrored it with one of his own. Something shiny and brilliant passed between them in that moment.

* * *

"So, you have coffee, and I'm feeding you. Talk to me about the resignation, Kate? Help me understand why it's the best thing for you. Why…why you'd throw away all those years of hard work, the crappy hours, sexist jokes, little home life, hmm? Help me out here?"

"You make it sound so appealing," she noted drolly. "Like you just answered your own question."

Kate put down her fork, and took another swig of coffee before she spoke any further.

Castle waited patiently for her to begin talking, hoping he hadn't crossed a line by questioning her decision the way he had. They were new to this; facing things head on and saying exactly what they meant with honest to god words, instead of glances, subtext and oblique statements that left things half-understood and far too much room for misinterpretation. But this was how he wanted them to be in future, clear with one another, open, and he believed Kate wanted the same. So, he waited patiently for her to speak.

* * *

"The resignation may have been a knee-jerk reaction," she confessed. "I…I'm not sure. I need time to figure it out."

Kate put her head in her hands and breathed quietly for a minute before she looked up again.

"You're not sure if you did the right thing? Or you're not sure _why_ you did it?" asked Castle, tipping his head to the side while he watched her struggle with it.

"Everything got muddled up that day, Castle. We were working on pure adrenalin. I barely slept the night before, after you left my apartment. You laid all your cards on the table, and I knew, I _knew_ that I had let you down again. I should have stopped you from leaving. I should at least have told you how I felt about you, even if I _was_ determined to pursue the case. I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"Hey, how about we put that behind us now, and look forward?"

Kate nodded gratefully. "I'd like that. You're a good man, Rick. A _really_ good man," she said, covering his hand with her own and giving it a squeeze before withdrawing it to her lap.

"You know, there have actually been so many times over the last few years that I wanted to…I wanted to tell you how I felt. But our friendship had grown so solid, and our routine was so well established, that I guess it let me off the hook a little, knowing that a call would come in for a case and you'd be there, that I'd see you, and we'd get to hang out and work together. If I could have any of those times back, I'd do things differently. I would. For both of us. So, thank you for waiting."

"Kate…"

"No, hear me out. Dr. Burke asked this morning if I felt more for you now that I know how you feel about me - how dedicated you've been to us, waiting all that time. And I realized when he asked me the question that there is no '_feeling more'_ when it comes to you. I don't believe there's a person on this planet that could have stronger feelings for you than I do. And that just amazes me. And it thrills me, and it scares me half out of my mind, Castle. I wonder if this is how my mom felt about my dad.

"Kate, don't…"

She reached for his hand again.

"I mean that in a good way, Castle. They were devoted to one another, my parents. I wish you could have seen them together. I hope that's how _we_ are. And I think we have a good shot at it. You wore me down in the end," she said affectionately, "with your smile, and your charm, and the coffee, and your stupid jokes…"

"_Hey_," objected Castle, half-heartedly, listening to her with soft, bright eyes.

"And the theories, oh boy! The crazy theories," laughed Kate, grinning at him. "But also, your love for your family. Alexis and Martha are so lucky to have you. Like I said, you're a really good man. Loyal to a fault, silly as can be, annoying, yeah, _sometimes_, but always there when I needed you, supporting me. You really had my back all these years. We make a good team."

"One of the best," Castle agreed.

"So, while I don't know what's next, I do know that I've got you on my side, and that makes me feel less alone. As if I can do anything I set my mind to."

* * *

Kate took one last bite of pancake, and then placed her fork down and pushed the plate away from her.

"Are you done with that?"

"Sure. You want my leftovers? Is that how this is going to work, Castle? You eye up the food on my plate while I'm eating, and then swoop in as soon as I drop my silverware?" she teased.

"_No_," said Castle indignantly. "I was going to suggest we take a little walk if you're done eating. We can talk some more, without prying ears. Besides, it's a beautiful day. So, what do you say? We could walk up Broadway to Herald Square, and then cut back down 6th. Twenty block round trip, so it'll do us good."

"Sounds great," said Kate, folding her napkin and dropping it onto her plate. "Actually, you're full of good ideas today."

"Well, maybe that's because my muse decided to stick around. _Permanently_," he said, standing to pull out her chair.

_A/N: Found this a tricky linking chapter to write. Trying to get to the core of the job issue, and address some of the issues they'll face because they're now a couple. Will do that on their little 'walk and talk'. As always, loving the reviews. Happy Friday everyone, Liv._


	27. Chapter 27 Victoria's Secret

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 27 – Victoria's Secret_**

The sun had risen higher by the time they left the café, and a beam of pure light bounced off the mirrored glass of the building opposite, blinding Kate for a second, forcing her to turn her head away and close her eyes. Castle gently nudged her forward with one hand at her elbow, turning them both north to begin their walk up Broadway.

They crossed over Fifth Avenue, right in front of the Flatiron building, and Kate turned to look up at the iconic facade, admiring its curves and lines, the smooth bow of the apex that made limestone seem something impossibly sleek and smooth, soft and malleable; something other than cold, hard stone.

"I've always loved that building," said Kate, walking backwards for a few steps and looking up. "The way the city kind of flows around it, as if making way for it's passage north," she mused poetically, as she shielded her eyes from the sun.

"I found myself agape, admiring a sky-scraper, the prow of the Flat-iron Building, plowing up through the traffic of Broadway and Fifth Avenue in the afternoon light," quoted Castle. "H.G. Wells," he replied to Kate's questioning look, turning to admire the building with her. "But, I preferred your version. Much more lyrical."

They turned north once more, and the city stretched out before them, the concrete sidewalk warmed enough now by the sun that heat radiated up from the ground underneath their feet.

At the crosswalk, they waited for the lights to change, nowhere important to be on this Thursday morning. Unlike everyone around them, who seemed to have life-or-death duties to perform, judging by the way they threw themselves in between breaks in the traffic, dodging taxi fenders or the stinking, open maw of a garbage truck to keep moving inexorably towards their ultimate destination.

"I can't remember the last time I had nowhere I had to be," said Kate eventually, her arm bumping again Castle's as they finally got the go-ahead to cross the street.

"Yeah, kinda feels like we're playing hooky," he agreed, walking in step beside her. He took off his jacket and threw it over his shoulder, and then rolled up his shirtsleeves, exposing tan, muscular forearms.

"We should really call Kevin. Set up that dinner. I feel bad that I haven't spoken to him yet," said Kate, her mind free-floating with the luxury of time.

"Good idea. We can call him today if you like?"

Kate fell silent for half a block, and when Castle glanced over at her he could see that she was working up to say something. She had that pensive look on her face that he had become so used to seeing at work, and she had drawn her bottom lip between her teeth as she wrestled with something. He resisted the urge to ask her what was bothering her, deciding to let her tell him in her own time.

He didn't have long to wait.

"Yeah, I really need to square things with Kevin," she said, pushing a hand distractedly through her hair. Then came the crux of the matter. "I feel like maybe I'm not doing everything I should here, Castle. That things are getting away from me, and it's scaring me a little," she confessed, feeling for his hand.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down. What's scaring you, Kate? Talk to me."

Kate sighed, and adjusted her pace as Castle slowed down a little, studying her face.

"My job, it gave me focus, Castle. Structure. Everything I did fed off of that – you, the boys, my off hours – every decision I made was mapped around my time at the precinct. Whether I saw my dad, had time to catch up with Lanie, even when I could go grocery shopping or do laundry. All of it. And _now…_I don't know how to structure things. Important stuff is going to get lost between the cracks if I'm not careful."

"Okay, then let's work on that. What do you feel you're letting slide? And remember that it's only been a few days, Kate. You _are_ going to take time to adjust. You've transplanted yourself to the loft, and you're practically living out of a suitcase. You've given up your job, and you're not on home turf right now. You're not even sleeping in your own bed, Kate. Though, I personally love that part," he couldn't help adding.

"Me too," murmured Kate, raising his hand to her mouth and giving it a quick kiss.

"But, the fact is that everything is new and altered, and therefore a little unsettling. And as wonderful as _we_ are, that's got to be scary too. So, how about we focus on the issues, and you tell me what's worrying you the most?"

Kate bumped their hands against his thigh to urge him to resume walking.

"Well, Kevin for one. And Javi. I don't know how best to help either of them. And then there's Maddox, and my mom's case. Dammit, Castle, everything is just hanging there. Like I've left it in suspended animation, and I can just come back to it whenever I feel like it, and nothing will have changed. But everything moves on, Castle. It moves on without us, whether we want it to or not."

"Kate, you're spiraling," Castle warned, drawing her over to a wall and out of the flow of pedestrians to try to calm her down. "Try to focus. None of this, except maybe Maddox, is unfixable. Tell me about the job. You said you're not sure. That maybe resigning was knee-jerk. What did you mean?"

"I know that what Javi and I did was wrong. Against protocol anyway. And we _knew_ that if Gates found out about Montgomery and all the links to my mom's case that we'd been keeping from her…well, you know how that was always going to end. That's precisely the reason we went out on our own. So, after everything that went down that day, and Gate's showing up like that with Ryan, I expected to get a suspension. And I was okay with that. But the way she spoke to us, Castle. Like we were a couple of dirty cops and she was still working for IAB – dishonoring the badge, this city? You _know_ me…"

"You don't even have to say it, Kate. I've watched you give everything to that job. You have nothing to prove to me."

"So, I just couldn't stand there and take that from her. Montgomery gave his life to protect me, after a career spent trying to make up for the mistakes he made in the past. He took me under his wing, and he made me into the cop I am today, Rick. Was," she quickly corrected herself. "Letting her speak to me like that…it felt like I was dishonoring his memory in some way."

"Kate, if you feel that she was out of line, that she went too far, then you should go see her, talk it out, or go to your union rep, and use the appeals process."

"There's no way I could appeal the suspension, Castle. Even _I_ couldn't argue that one. They'd laugh me out of the precinct."

"Then I think you really have to decide, Kate, whether you want your job badly enough to see beyond Gates' attitude, and to do a little grovelling."

His advice to Kate was eerily similar to the advice he'd given Alexis about getting over being rejected by Stanford. The very same advice that had gotten him thinking about how badly he wanted to be with Kate, and whether or not he was willing to forgive her in order for that to happen. Deciding what you wanted in life, and working out how to achieve it, even if it meant pushing past hurts aside, seemed to be one of the most valuable lessons he'd ever taught himself.

"She's been tough on the whole team since she took over, and don't get me started on her attitude towards you. The woman came across as a cold, untrusting tyrant from the beginning. A by-the-rules control freak. But I was starting to respect her and see some validity in some of the methods. After this, I'm not sure I could work for her again."

"She's one individual, on a career track, Kate. Why do you think she spent time in IAB? Because it's one of the fastest routes up the ladder. _You_ know that. She's a far more political animal than Montgomery ever was."

"_And?_"

"_And_, she's not going to be running a homicide squad at the One-Two forever. She probably has her sights set on One P.P. or the Mayor's office, for all we know. Don't let her force you out of a job you love. One you're spectacularly good at, Kate."

"So, you think I should just suck it up, and go crawling back on my hands and knees to her, begging for my job back?"

"No. I'm not saying that. I guess what I'm saying is…take some time, a few days at least, and deal with the other issues that are freaking you out while you figure out if you want to go back to being a detective or not. I can pitch ideas with you, toss a few thoughts around, and we can explore other options if you want. Or, you can just quietly figure it out for yourself. Whatever way you want to go about this, Kate, just know that I'm on your side, and I'll help you however I can."

Kate stopped walking, pulling back on Castle's hand to make him do the same, and then when they were face-to-face she put her arms around his neck and hugged him.

With her face buried against his neck, she asked, "What did I ever do without you?" Then she stood on tiptoe to press a kiss to his jaw.

"Hey, I could say the exact same thing," said Castle, taking hold of her wrists and unwrapping her arms from around his neck so that he could draw back enough to look at her. "We're equals here, Kate. A team. So, maybe this time I help you out. But you've built up more than enough in the credit column after all the help and inspiration you've given me for Nikki Heat."

* * *

They'd reached their pre-agreed turning point at Herald Square, so they took a left, cutting along the lower side of Greenley Square Park, with it's welcome splash of greenery and shade, to turn back down a baking Sixth Avenue.

"Need anything while we're here?" asked Castle, nudging Kate playfully as they passed by the entrance to a Victoria's Secret store.

"Nice try, Castle," laughed Kate, the cloud instantly lifting. She nudged back against him, grateful for his optimism, his irreverence, and his wonderful, caring personality. "Smooth, really smooth."

"Hey, can't blame a guy for trying," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, and God loves a trier, so they say. Come on. Let me buy you a coffee. We can go lingerie shopping another day."

"Promise?" asked Castle eagerly.

"Promise. I want to stay outdoors for as long as we can today. Maybe talk some more."

"Sure. If you think it helps, Kate."

"It does. And you're surprisingly good at this stuff, Castle. Who'd have thought, when we first met, that pure logic would be your forte?" she teased, dragging him away from the sorbet-colored display of Dream Angels lace push-up bras decorating the front windows of the store.

"I helped you solve our first case, and then I asked you out to dinner, _both_ events driven by logic," argued Castle.

"Oh yeah. Just how do you figure that?"

"The case work is a given. You have a crime, you want to solve that crime, you're gonna need logic and cunning to do it. Okay and maybe a little luck sometimes," he added, going off track.

"And the dinner invitation?" she prompted.

"Kate, where have you been?" asked Castle, tugging on her waist until she fell against his side, laughing. She pressed her hand against his chest to stop from tumbling over, finding his skin deliciously warm through the fine cotton of his shirt.

"I just don't see your logic, Castle," she persisted, teasing him.

"Okay, so maybe that _particular_ invitation defied logic. But I must have seen something there to make me go out on a limb like that for you."

"I know what _I_ saw," she grinned.

"What was that?"

"A cocky playboy who took nothing seriously."

"_Hey!_" protested Castle.

"Who wouldn't listen to me…and apparently still won't, since I haven't finished yet."

He held his hands up in surrender. "My bad. Please. Go ahead, Beckett."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"You think you're so '_street'_, Rick."

"Hey, I'm down with the cool kids. Alexis understands me."

"Alexis has a bigger brain than both of us put together. She'd understand you if you spoke Klingon."

"True. But to get back to your point: what the lady saw?"

"Oh, okay. _So_…a _cocky_ playboy, with the biggest heart, and the cutest smile, and _the_ most sparkling blue eyes I think I'd ever seen."

"I _knew_ it," exclaimed Castle, pumping the air with his fist. "You _totally_ wanted me," he grinned, breaking into a little dance.

"Slow down, cowboy. I may have admired your eh…_assets_," chuckled Kate, beaming at his silly antics. "But the wanting part came later. Not much…but _later._"

"We've come a long way, haven't we?" said Castle, when he finally calmed down a little after Kate's confession.

"That we have. A little older, but definitely wiser."

"And you know what, Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"You were so right when you told me that day that I had no idea how great we would be."

"We're getting disgustingly sweet, aren't we?" she groaned, dropping her head to his shoulder.

"Ya huh. Giving Jenny and Honey Milk a run for their money."

Kate laughed at the comparison. "Hey, how about we stop here for coffee," she suggested, pointing to a Starbucks with outdoor seating on the corner of West 27th.

"Sure. We have an hour before they tow the Ferrari."

"Great, you grab a table, and I'll get the coffee," said Kate. Her face was radiant. She paused halfway to the door, turned and called out, "Rick, just the usual?"

The look on Castle's face was priceless. They had '_a usual'_. Sure, intellectually he knew that, since he'd been bringing Kate the same coffee order for years now. But, still…_wow!_ _They had a usual!_

"That'd be perfect," he said calmly, his love for her just beaming right out of him, leaving her a little breathless with the overwhelming, unmasked evidence of it that he was allowing to show through.

"Right," blinked Kate, a dazzling smile on her face. "I should…" she gestured over her shoulder. "Coffee," she murmured stupidly, unable to tear her eyes away from his face, until someone tried to exit the coffee shop behind her and she was forced to step out of the way.

* * *

When she reappeared, carrying two take-out cups of caffeinated goodness, Castle was on the phone. He leaned towards her the instant she sat down and kissed the side of her mouth, their lips meeting softly, just a little off skew, his fingers slipping under her hair to caress the nape of her neck.

He pulled away to finish the call. "Right, Alexis. Yeah, no problem. Have fun, pumpkin. We'll see you later," he said, before hanging up.

His fingers lingered just behind her ear, stroking the velvety layer of fine hair he discovered there.

"What was that for?" asked Kate, trying to fathom the look he was giving her. Because if it was the coffee...

"Do I really need a reason, Kate?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, before he leaned forward to claim her mouth again.

Kate was half out of her seat, her fingers threaded through Castle's hair, her tongue pushed into his mouth, breathing raggedly when a couple of teenage boys passed by and one of them yelled, 'Seriously, man. _Get a room!'_

Kate hastily pulled away, swiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. She caught the smug look on Castle's face, his dancing eyes, and the warm smiles of a couple of middle-aged woman sitting a couple of tables away, and her cheeks flushed.

"Guess, you don't need a reason," she said, taking a sip of her coffee in an effort to recover herself.

"Guess not," he added, nudging Kate's foot under the table until she slid her eyes back up to his face.

"Alexis called to let me know that she's going out with Buttons tonight. So we have the loft to ourselves."

"Buttons?" asked Kate, frowning adorably. "Animal, vegetable or mineral?"

Castle laughed. "Buttons Dutton, one of her old school friends. "Mother obviously had a penchant for cruel nicknames."

"No kidding. I thought Katie was bad when I was a kid. Boy, was I ever wrong. Buttons Dutton," repeated Kate, covering her mouth with her hand to smother a grin.

"Katie's cute," argued Castle, reaching for her fingers, and stroking them lightly with his own.

"Don't even _think_ about it, Edgar Alexander," she warned him, flicking her wooden stirrer across the table at him.

Her aim was good, and she struck him on the back of the hand with the little balsawood stick.

"Hey, unarmed man here," he said, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

Kate laughed. "Such a drama queen," she complained, taking a swig of coffee to hide her delight. "Speaking of," she added.

"Drama queens?" chuckled Castle.

"Yeah, what's Martha doing tonight? Do we know?"

"Oh, you catch on quick, Kate. Yes, my dear mother is going out with one of her latest victims. Herb or…"

"Harry," supplied Kate, nodding. "Yeah, I preferred Harry."

"You…? How can you even _remember_ these guys?" asked Castle, amazed by her recall.

"Treat everyone like a potential perp and pretty soon you start remembering names and faces like they were members of your own family."

"You know, you really are too good at this to give it up," he said quietly, squeezing her fingers lightly. "Still, enough for one day. Let's just enjoy the sunshine."

"Actually, I thought I might call Ryan," said Kate, nervously chewing on her lip again.

"Great idea. He'll be pleased to hear from you. _Really, Kate._ Tell him we're free all weekend if he and Jenny are available for dinner."

"Oh, we are, _are we_?" teased Kate, giving him an amused look.

"Sorry. Getting a little carried away. Kind of just assumed. If you have something else to…"

"Hey," said Kate quietly, interrupting him with the slide of cool fingers along the soft underside of his wrist. "I'm teasing, Rick. I have nowhere to be. Nowhere I'd rather be, _either_. So, I'll tell him. See what we can figure out. Okay?"

"Great," he beamed, trying to suppress the ridiculous abundance of happiness leaking out of him by drinking the rest of his coffee, and failing miserably.

_A/N: Thank you everyone for reviewing. You're making this story a pleasure, and much more fun to write. I imagine, like most new couples who've known one another a while, that they'll revisit little moments from their shared past. So I'll slip bits and pieces in from time-to-time. I think that's only natural. Don't know what everyone else thinks? Liv_


	28. Chapter 28 A Wake Up Call

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 28 – A Wake Up Call_**

"That's great, Kevin. We'll see you Friday then. I'll book somewhere. Okay. Good. Text you the address," promised Kate, smiling eagerly and nodding at Castle as she finished up the call, her fingers lightly curled around his forearm the whole time.

"Told you he'd be pleased to hear from you."

"Yeah, poor guy. Doesn't seem fair how things worked out."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that we got to eh…consummate our partnership, while Kevin and Javi seem to have lost theirs."

"Oooo consummate, great word. I like it. Solid, but with gratifyingly dirty overtones," grinned Castle, trying to humor Kate and stop her from spiraling down into guilt. "You think we could maybe consummate a little more later? We have the loft to ourselves," he reminded her.

"Loon," said Kate, batting Castle away with a hand at his chest, her halfhearted rebuke diminished further by the goofy smile on her face.

"Kate, Ryan and Esposito will fix things. Just look at us. Javi can be a hothead. You know that. Give it time, and I'm sure he'll come round. If not, we can always lock them in a room together until they work it out. Maybe even throw in a tiger or two. That ought to focus their minds."

"Yeah, you're probably right," agreed Kate, tidying up their cups and carrying them over to the trashcan. "So, we should probably walk back to the car. We only have ten minutes left."

"Shoot. I nearly forgot about that," said Castle, standing up and giving his watch a quick glance.

"Can we stop by my apartment? I want to pick up my mail."

"Sure. And then how about we go to the market on the corner and pick up a few things for dinner?"

"I thought you hated that place?" asked Kate, turning to give her partner an amused glance.

"Hate it? _No._ No, I don't hate it. I just _hated_ the thought of you and Josh going in there. Grocery shopping. _Together._"

Kate laughed, and slipped her arm through Castle's.

"For the record, Josh and I _never_ went grocery shopping together. There or anywhere else. So, can we put that jealous little image to rest?"

"Mmm hmm," murmured Castle, smiling to himself, secretly _way_ more pleased about that information than he should be.

"Stop it," said Kate after a few seconds, bumping him with her hip.

"_What?_" asked Castle, indignantly.

"Gloating. It doesn't suit you."

"Oh, but _you_ do. Suit me that is," he beamed.

"You know you're idiotic at times," she complained, recapturing his arm.

"And you love me in spite of that or because of it?" teased Castle.

Kate suddenly looked like a deer in the headlights.

"I hmm…I just…I love you," she stammered, her heart hammering in her chest unexpectedly as a fresh wave of realization crashed over her.

Castle stopped walking, tugging them both to a sudden halt on 6th Avenue in the process, right in front of a CVS Pharmacy. People flowed around them on the sidewalk, hustling to get where they were going, oblivious to the private moment playing out in front of them.

"You know it still takes my breath away to hear you say that," he murmured for her ears only, slipping one arm around her waist and pulling her gently towards him until they were facing one another. "And I don't think that'll ever change. Oh god, Kate, you have no idea," he whispered, as his lips ghosted over her ear sending tremors down her spine.

Kate watched him for a couple of seconds, her eyes roving his, flicking to his mouth and back up again. Her fingers curled around his biceps, holding on, and a lick of excitement unfurled low in her belly.

When she recovered enough to get the words out, she said, "You might love me a little less if your Ferrari gets towed."

The gentle reminder had the desired effect, prizing them apart to continue walking towards West 23rd. Castle hummed happily to himself the whole way, holding her hand loosely between them.

* * *

When they reached Kate's apartment building they went into the lobby together to check her mailbox. Castle hovered at her back, trying to give her some privacy, and failing miserably because he simply couldn't bear not being near her. She had this magnetic pull he was sure had always been there. He'd just been better at fighting it before, probably fearing for his life if he'd allowed himself to give into it. Now he drifted close to her every chance he got, shameless at the frequency with which he invaded her space.

Kate gathered the small pile of envelopes and a few promotional fliers from her mailbox, flipping through them and then discarding the junk into the trash. Castle watched her pause when her eyes alighted on one particular letter. He saw the slight bob of her throat as she swallowed. Then he caught a flash of the NYPD shield printed on the front of the envelope before it was gone, shuffled further down the stack of mail in amongst some bills and a subscription copy of New York Magazine.

"You want to go up and check on your apartment?" he asked, deciding to leave the letter until later.

"No. I'm sure it'll be good for a few more days. I'll wait until the weekend is over. Then I expect I'll come back to stay at my place next week."

"What?" asked Castle plaintively.

"Well, I can't stay at the loft forever," Kate laughed, gently patting him on the chest with her free hand.

"Why not? I don't want you to leave."

Kate sighed. She'd been anticipating this conversation, but still felt unprepared for it. "I have to, Castle," she said, as if explaining something really basic to a three year old.

Castle's response was the perfect match for her tone. "But why?" he whined.

"Because…I just _can't_. Stay at the loft forever that is. This has been an amazing start for us - these past few days. But we only just got together, and…"

"Not in _my_ head," he protested. "We've been together for…Kate…"

His shoulders slumped, and he looked defeated already. Defeated, but so damned cute she just wanted to take him home and mother him.

"If it was up to me, you wouldn't ever leave…" he began.

"Shhh. Don't say it. Too soon," Kate counseled, pressing a finger to his lips to silence him. She deliberately interrupted his little speech before he could really get it underway because she didn't want to do this standing in the worn lobby of her building, and she needed him to understand some of the truths of their relationship without his rose-tinted blinders on.

"Let's go home, Castle. Come on. We have all night to ourselves. We can talk about it over dinner and a glass of wine. Far more civilized than a drafty lobby. What do you say?"

He looked torn, as if he wanted to drag her upstairs there and then to pack up her life, and move in with him tonight, never to return. But on the other hand, the picture she'd just painted of dinner and a nice bottle of wine was so appealing that he caved, took her hand, and led her back out to the car without adding another word.

* * *

"You know, you're definitely maturing," she said finally, as she pulled into his parking spot in the underground garage beneath his building fifteen minutes later.

The Ferrari's engine growled even louder inside the concrete structure, the sound bouncing off the walls and floors until Kate cut the engine and it died completely. There was a hint of teasing to her voice, and he looked at her warily, trying to size up the remark.

"Is that a polite way of saying I'm getting old, Kate, because you know I can still give you a run for your money any night of…"

"No, whoa. I actually meant your attitude, your self-awareness, your…_personality_, Castle. Though you have definitely demonstrated that you have excellent stamina when it comes to the other matter to which you were referring."

"I have?"

"Yeah. I mean, just a couple of years ago, you'd have been bugging me the whole way back here to move in with you, and you wouldn't have let up until you got what you wanted. So, I'm impressed. You've grown. And I'm proud of you."

"Well, thank you, Kate. Coming from you, that is a true compliment. And I will treasure it," he said, failing to reveal that he did indeed intend to wear her down. He just hadn't come up with a plan yet.

* * *

"So, how about _you_ cook the fish, and I'll prepare the veggies?" suggested Kate once they were ensconced in his kitchen. She unpacked the food they'd purchased at the Korean deli, laying each item out on the counter so they could decide what to cook.

"Sounds good. You want pan fried, steamed or griddled?"

"Castle, I'm starving. Just cook the damn fish," she snapped, starting to peel a knobby piece of ginger with just a fraction too much vigor.

He gave her a quizzical look, and then quietly unwrapped the fish from its' paper and took it over to the sink to rinse it under the faucet.

"You know, we can always go out to eat if you prefer?" he suggested gently, moving around her to grab some kitchen towel to pat the fillets dry.

"Castle, I want us to eat at home tonight. We bought the ingredients so let's just get on with it. Okay?"

Her tone was less tetchy, but still laced with something he couldn't quite pin down. It reminded him of '_work Beckett'_ - worn out on a long case, running on adrenalin and too little sleep, and as far from a lead as you could get. But the job was gone, at least for now, and they'd just spent a lovely, lazy day with one another without a cross word being said. Still, maybe this was how it would be as they established a new, more honest way of being together. They'd bicker and fight like most couples did over small insignificant things, and, he hoped, work out the big issues together too. Just like they had done at work.

He handed her a colander to wash the rice, and that one thoughtful, anticipatory gesture was all it took for her to come clean.

"I got my discharge papers today," she said, dumping the little bag of rice onto the counter. Her voice caught, and by the time he whirled round to look at her, her face was stricken. "Castle, it's really over," she sobbed, choking on the words as she drew her hand up to cover her mouth to try and stifle it.

"Oh, Kate," he exclaimed, pushing the chopping board aside to wrap her up in his arms. She didn't resist him, just crumpled the minute she hit his chest. "Was that the letter I saw? The one with the shield on the front?"

She hiccupped another sob. "Nothing gets past you."

"Honey, we can fix this. Maybe this is what you needed to help you decide," he suggested, rubbing his hand up and down her back, trying to soothe away her distress.

"What if we can't fix it, Castle? Hmm? What then? What exactly am I going to do then?" She sounded panicked, her fingers plucking listlessly at the back of his shirt.

"Kate, you are a smart, beautiful, compassionate woman. There are so many things you could do. And you have _me_ in your corner," he reminded her, kissing the top of her head while he held her. "That might not make you feel any better, but it should at least make you laugh. Old Beckett would have laughed at that," he chided.

"It's not funny anymore," she huffed through her tears.

"Why not?" he coaxed gently.

"Because it means too much," she sobbed, clutching him tighter. "Having you in my corner, Castle, it means too damn much, and that scares me."

"But that's good, Kate. That's a _good _thing. It means that you trust me, and I promise you can rely on me. For anything."

She'd begun to calm down now. Her breath hitched a couple of more times, and then her breathing returned to a more even rhythm.

"You okay?" he asked gently, hunching down a little to look at her properly so that their faces were level.

She nodded, swiping the last of the tears away with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry. What a mess. I'm sure you didn't wait four years for _this_," she said, a self-critical tone to her voice as she swept a hand down in front of her body to indicate that she was referring to herself.

"Kate, stop. I waited four years for a woman who has just gotten more wonderful before my very eyes the more I've watched her grow, and experience life, and get stronger through some of the toughest experiences most people will thankfully never see. If I felt something for you in the beginning, it bears no comparison to how much I feel for you now."

"Stop. You're going to make me cry again," she warned, taking the handkerchief he offered her to dab at her eyes. "And what happened to maddening, challenging and frustrating?"

"Kate, I'm far from perfect. You of all people know that. But if I know one thing, it's how much I love you and Alexis, and my crazy, nutcase of a mother. And I will do _anything _to help and protect the people I love. You're all I want, Kate Beckett, detective or not. And in time we will get to moving in, and rings, and other wonderful things. But for now, just be assured that you are _all_ I want. _You_. And you're perfect as you are, Kate."

The fish lay forgotten on the counter, the ginger shriveled without its protective coating of papery skin, as Castle led Kate off to bed to enjoy the peace and privacy of an empty loft, persuading her just that little bit more of the hope and excitement the future held for them.

* * *

Castle's fingers made slow, delicious trails over Kate's back as she lay sprawled face down on the bed with her cheek pillowed on her arms. He leant over her, pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades that made her muscles contract with a delicious jolt of electricity and a sigh escape her lips. He raked his eyes over the smooth curve of her spine until it disappeared beneath the sheet, resuming his gentle stroking.

"That was…"

"Mmm yeah," Kate murmured in agreement, peeking at him with one eye open.

"You hungry? Because I think dinner might be ruined."

"Come here first," she said, rolling onto her side and tugging him closer. "I need to tell you something."

Castle propped up some pillows and maneuvered himself so that Kate could lie against his chest. The sheet was draped low on her waist, and he had to close his eyes against the intense sensations that coursed through him from just seeing her like this – lying on top of him, warm, naked, soft, willing and completely exposed. Everything had turned out so much better than he'd ever imagined it could be. _So_ much better. And it frequently blew his mind, left him breathless, and close to tears with the wonder of it all, with the knowledge that they had made it.

"I feel as if maybe I haven't been totally open with you," she began, and Castle swallowed, bracing himself for what might be coming next.

"Right?" he said warily.

"Yeah. And I think there's some stuff you should know."

"Good stuff, or am I gonna hate what you're about to tell me?"

"I just need you to listen. Okay?"

"Kate, you're scaring me now. What is it?"

"When you came to my apartment a few nights ago, and you pleaded with me to stop. You said that you'd been waiting four years for me to notice you." She pursed her lips, blinking as her eyes filled up with tears.

Castle frowned, listening intently to her, fighting the urge to ask her to stop speaking, that whatever she wanted to tell him he didn't have to know. Because he didn't want to ruin what they'd managed to create for themselves. But seeing the need in her eyes, he nodded for her to continue.

"Two years ago, I broke up with Tom Demming so that I could accept your invitation to the Hamptons for Memorial Day weekend," she confessed, pausing for his reaction.

Castle sat up abruptly in bed, disbelieving what he'd just heard, and Kate slipped off his chest forcing her to sit up beside him.

"What?" he asked, confused, but wildly hoping she was saying what he thought she was saying.

"At your going away party, I was going to tell you…right before Gina arrived. I was about to tell you how I felt, and yeah," she let out an embarrassed laugh, dragging her fingers self-consciously through her hair, "I was going to accept your invitation to go with you to the Hamptons. I'd made my mind up that it was time, that I was finally ready, and I thought we were ready too. So you see, you aren't the only one who's been waiting, Castle. I just…I wanted you to know that. That it hasn't all been a one-way street."

"What?" he repeated, fighting to get his head around the mind-blowing confession she was making. "You…you wanted to come away with me? You were going to…we could have…"

Kate nodded, watching the range of emotions playing out across his face.

"But that's…"

"I know," she nodded sympathetically, taking his hand and pressing a kiss to his jaw. "And that's not the worst part."

"You mean there's more? What could be worse than that?" he whined.

"The guys, Lanie, Montgomery, I think they all knew that I was going to tell you. So, when you walked out of the Precinct arm-in-arm with Gina…well, you should have seen the pitying looks I got."

"God, Kate, I'm so sorry. What an ass. If I'd known..."

He scrubbed his free hand over his eyes, looking shocked and dismayed by her news.

"Hey, it wasn't your fault," Kate said gently. "As far as you knew I was dating someone else, and I did tell you I had to work when you first asked me to the Hamptons, so it was entirely my own fault. I just wanted you to know now that I've…that I've been doing some waiting of my own. That I was ready. Before I got shot and everything got really messed up, I was ready, Castle."

_A/N: Thank you for reviewing and nudging me to write faster. Have a great weekend everyone. P.S. Not sure if 'discharge papers' apply to the police like it does in the military. Maybe someone can clarify that?_


	29. Chapter 29 What's Yours Is Mine

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 29 – What's Yours Is Mine_**

"Hey, how're you doing?" asked Castle, running a hand across Kate's shoulder and down her back where she sat at the kitchen counter.

He had awoken to an empty bed and a mild state of panic. After only three nights of having Kate sleeping beside him, it felt unsettlingly strange to waken up and not find her there in bed with him. So he got up immediately, quite against his nature, and went to seek her out.

Kate was bowed over the counter, a cup of coffee clutched to her chest, bare toes curled around the bar of the stool she was sitting on while she worked her way through yesterday's New York Times. Her white tank highlighted the blue-green bruises at her exposed shoulders, her elbows, the top of her spine, and Castle winced to see them there, the seemingly endless reminder of his own stupidity.

"Morning," she mumbled, reaching up to accept the kiss he planted on her forehead. "I made coffee. I hope you don't mind?" she asked, swiveling on the stool so that her long, bare legs almost robbed him of coherent thought.

"Mind? Kate, why would I mind?" he asked, trying to stay focused, because this was an important point that needed stressing.

He yawned and stretched so fully that his tee shirt rode up to expose his pale, muscled stomach, and the dark seam of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his black, Calvin Klein boxer shorts.

Kate felt her cheeks flush with pleasure as she openly watched him, her newspaper immediately discarded and forgotten.

"What?" he asked, once the yawn tears had cleared from his eyes.

Kate smirked. "Nothing. Just…_morning_," she said, tugging on his shirt to bring him close enough for a good morning kiss.

"Let me get coffee. You want a top up?" he asked, leaning over her shoulder to check her cup, crowding against her back until she pushed back against him, laying her head against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth seeping into her from her partner's body.

"Coffee, Kate," he growled, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head before letting her go.

"And about before, I want you to feel totally at home here. Make a mess if you want, put your feet up on the couch, do your own laundry or let me do it for you, I don't care. Just, please, treat this like your home. Okay?"

"Castle," Kate complained, a slight moan to her voice. "I told you already."

"Too soon. I know. But it doesn't mean we can't practice. Right?" he asked hopefully.

The look on his face: just too damn sweet and adorable. So much wanting and hoping and wishing and willing for her to completely refuse him. She had landed up on _his_ doorstep proclaiming herself after all.

"Top up my coffee, Castle, and let's take it from there," she said, breaking into a smile at his grateful, delighted grin.

"What?" asked Kate, following his back as he turned away from her to grab a mug for himself from the cabinet.

"You didn't say no, Kate Beckett, and that is _good_ enough for me."

God he deserved more than this. More than her caution and constant withholding. What right did she have to deny this man anything? This man who loved her as completely as he did. Loved her enough to wait four years, and remain cheerful and constant while she asked him to wait some more.

"You know you're right. I didn't say no," she said, raising her eyes to him from under long lashes, her steady gaze telegraphing so many reasons to be cheerful. "I promise we'll get there, Rick. Just…let's enjoy this part too. Okay? New stuff everyday. Blink and you'll miss it," she said, accepting the refilled cup of coffee from him.

"I hear you," he said, taking a long drink of coffee, and then nodding slowly, thoughtfully at her as he considered her point.

"So, you gonna make me breakfast or do I have to kick you out of your own kitchen?" she teased, pleased to have negotiated them out of an awkward backwater for now.

"What would my lady desire?"

Kate arched her eyebrow, giving him a long, hot look.

"Desire? _Really?_" she asked, pressing her lips together to withhold a smile.

"Mind out of the gutter for a minute, Beckett, if you think you can manage that. Pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, or we have cereal, toast. Anything appealing?"

"Aside from you, you mean?" she teased mercilessly.

"Kate, do I have to come over there and spank you?"

"Oh, yes please," she purred, leaning towards him over the counter, her eyes dancing as she enjoyed the tease.

"Playing with fire there, Kate."

"Cereal," she said, giving in to this sensible mood he seemed to be in.

"Cereal it is. You want some berries with that?"

"Mmm, yes please."

"So, did you think anymore about the job?" he asked barely a second later, glancing over at her as he pulled a box of muesli from the cabinet, and then reached for a couple of bowls. He tried to keep his voice light, but his overly chirpy tone betrayed him.

Ah, so that explained his lack of friskiness this morning. He'd woken up alone, she was sitting by herself in the kitchen, and he thought…

"Castle, I'm _fine_," she said, tilting her head to the side to gaze softly at him. "Let's just have breakfast, decide where we're going with Kevin and Jenny tonight, and we can talk later. Okay?"

"Casual or smart?" he asked, giving in to her request, because she seemed happy enough. The upset and sobs of the previous evening passed over like a fast-moving storm cloud.

Kate nodded gratefully at him.

"Eh, somewhere busy I think. I'm…can I say I'm nervous about seeing Kevin again without you trying to brush off my concerns?"

Wow, go for honest why don't you, Kate.

"Sure. But I think you're wrong to be worried, Kate, he…"

Kate cleared her throat. "Eh. What did I just say?" she asked, leveling him with a stern look.

"I know what you said, and I understand why you're nervous. But this is Kevin Ryan, is all I mean. They guy hasn't a malicious, grudge-bearing bone in his skinny little body."

"Maybe true, but…"

"Hey, _definitely_ true, Kate. The guys love you. _Both of them_. So let's just choose somewhere fun, and enjoy our first double date with the Ryans."

Well, that stopped her in her tracks. Double date. They were going on a _double date_ with some ridiculously loved-up, sickeningly cute, newlyweds. Shit. This was going to be something.

"What about Wildwood Barbeque on Park?" asked Castle, breaking her out of her silent freak out.

"Too uh…_meaty_," said Kate, crinkling her nose. "And it's run by a former cop, so…"

"Kate, that place is huge and busy and…okay then, that's a definite no," he said, watching her face contort the more he tried to talk her round.

"Gramercy Tavern?" he suggested, after a minute's thought.

"Too ritzy _and_ _expensive_."

Castle raised an eyebrow at her comment. "_Really?_ You're worried about _expensive_, because Kate we obviously need to have a little chat about…"

"If you say _money_, Castle, so help me I'm going back to my own apartment right now."

Castle laughed, finding her discomfort at the topic adorable.

"Actually, I was going to say profit, but money'll work just fine."

"I am _not_ having this conversation with you," she said, getting up from the counter to walk away from him. She barely stopped herself from singing 'lalalala' to block out the sound of his words.

"Kate, we're gonna have to address this at some point," he called after her.

"Yeah, well, _some point_ can get in line. Right behind _sometime_, _someday, _and _maybe never_," she replied, stalking off towards his bedroom with her coffee mug still clutched to her chest.

Castle sighed as he watched her go. God she was infuriatingly independent, and proud, and she needed to hear the truth about this before it became any more of an issue between them. So he dropped the dishtowel that he had slung over his shoulder down by the sink and went after her.

He found her sitting on the bed, her bare legs crossed, studying her fingernails in between sipping coffee that had to be almost cold by now. He leant against the doorframe just watching her. He knew that she could sense his presence; they were so well attuned to one another by now.

"So, I can tell that you don't want me to talk about this," he joked, pointing out the blindingly obvious. "But, Kate, I think it's time we did."

"Castle, it's been three days. It's a little early for the 'what's yours is mine' conversation," she snapped, before looking down at her hands in shame for treating him so badly.

But conversations like this – and this was her first experience of one – they made her squirm. Even the very thought of them. She was so much like her mom in that respect: independent, worked hard for what she had, never intended to be a kept woman, and yet, here she was unemployed, by her own hand, for the first time in her adult life. It was all too much, and now Castle wanted to…

She looked up, realizing he'd suddenly gone very quiet. But he was studying her with such tenderness that she was forced to look away again.

"Kate, please just hear me out, okay? Nikki Heat turned my career from something great into something stellar. If I told you how much money I'd made off the back of Nikki and Rook you'd…" he watched her grimace and cover her ears, "…well, anyway, it's _a lot_," he compromised, coming over to tug her hands off the side of her head. "And I couldn't have done any of it without you. None of it, you understand? Without your technical input, your inspiration, your…just…_you_! So, Kate, I know you might not want to hear it, but I _owe you_ big time, honey."

"Castle, you don't owe me anything," she grumbled, disgusted by her own inability to even accept the honest compliments he was paying her. It just made her so damned uncomfortable.

"I do, Kate, and I intend for you to enjoy the rewards of _our_ hard work together whether you like it or not," he added, passionately enough for her to raise her head back up to look at him. "So, a nice restaurant for a night out with our friends, and our first official date, can I point out, is not going to break the bank, believe me," he said, dropping down onto the bed to sit next to her hip.

She let her eyes fall back to her coffee mug. The liquid had gone cold, and it tasted bitter and sour, leaving the aftertaste of a hundred cigarettes in her mouth.

"You must be done with this," he said gently, taking the cup from her hands and setting it on the nightstand.

She let her hand fall to his leg, and began rubbing tiny little circles over the fine hair that covered his (undeniably) muscular thigh.

Castle took her touch as a sign of acquiescence. "So, will you let me make the booking? Or do you have somewhere else you'd rather go?" he asked quietly, brushing her hair back over her shoulder.

"_You_ are a bully, Richard Castle," she huffed, flicking her eyes up to find his amused blue ones looking back at her.

"Only when it counts," he said, leaning in to kiss her softly on the mouth. "And you always count, Kate," he told her on a whispered breath to her neck.

"Make it ABC Kitchen, and you've got a deal," she grinned, burying her face in his shoulder, ashamed of how easily she'd caved in to his gentle badgering.

"Oh, suddenly the lady has expensive tastes. And that is a _great idea_. Buzzy, not too stiff, modern quirky menu, and Jean-Georges…what's not to like? _You_, my dear," he said, planting a loud, sloppy kiss on her lips, "are a _genius_."

He abruptly got up off the bed, headed towards his office, and, presumably, went to make the reservation. Kate sat on, just shaking her head, a helpless smile on her face.

_A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing. Can I say that some of those nudges to update are turning into sharp little pokes. I'm trying to juggle having some kind of a life, while writing as much as I can, to the exclusion of housework, sometimes friends, and my dear, long-suffering S.O. I'm doing the best I can, like all the other writers here. _

_Can I also confess that I saw Lady Antebellum last night, and wow! Just amazing. Kacey Musgraves was excellent too as their support. So, I hope you'll forgive me that little night off, but the inspiration was helpful. All work and no play 'n all that… Happy Saturday. Liv ;)_


	30. Chapter 30 Double Date

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 30 – Double Date_**

"Is this too much?" asked Kate, spinning frantically in front of Castle's closet mirror.

The floaty, pleated top layer of her electric blue dress rose with the swirl of air as she turned, billowing outwards from the fitted waist of the skirt. The bodice was tightly pleated too, fashioned like a strapless gown, though her upper arms and shoulders were covered in fine, blue lace. The dress was short, and sexy, and she looked stunning in it. Her hair, her eyes, the pale tan of her skin, they were all accented beautifully by the sharp blue that looked so much like a brilliant summer sky.

"Too much?" mumbled Castle, raking hungry eyes all over her body. "Which bits? The deliciously short skirt, the way I can see your bare skin through those sexy lace panels or the fact that I happened to notice you're not wearing a bra with this dress, Miss Beckett?"

She put her hands on her hips and turned around to glare at him.

"You're not helping, Castle."

"I'm not?" he asked, frowning in confusion. He'd helped her do up the zipper, attached the fiddly little hook things when she asked, and she'd leant on his shoulder while she stepped into her heels. How could he not be helping?

"You're making me nervous," she added by way of explanation.

He shrugged, clearly clueless.

"This is _Ryan_, _two_ Ryans, actually. And _Jenny_," she said, not making any more sense, but acting as if it should all be perfectly obvious.

"_And?_ She's like _the_ _sweetest _kid around."

"What, are you her history teacher?" ribbed Kate. "They're _our_ _age_, Castle."

"Oh. _Oh_, they're _our_ age, are they? And exactly what age _is_ that? Yours, mine or the median of the two?"

"_Seriously?_ I'm having a panic attack and you're bringing _that_ up?"

"Okay. Why don't we both just calm down, and then you can explain to me, mere humble, _older_ male that I am, why you're having a panic attack in words of one syllable or less."

"That's not even possible," complained Kate, sinking down onto the bed.

"Just tell me what's wrong?" he soothed, sitting down beside her.

"I don't know Jenny well enough to be able to tell if I'm getting too dressed up for this dinner, if this is all wrong," she said, plucking at the skirt of her dress, "or if…"

"Kate. Please. Look at me," said Castle, gently tilting her chin towards him, before swiveling round beside her to take her hands. "You look _beautiful_. Your dress is _perfect_ for the place you chose for dinner. Jenny is _the_ loveliest person I think you and I have ever met. So, forgive me if I'm having a hard time believing that this is really what you're worried about. This just isn't like you."

She drew her lip in between her teeth and looked down at their joined hands, and then back up at his kind, handsome, earnest face.

"How did you get to be so perceptive?" she grumbled, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles again and again, soothing herself.

"Just talk to me, Kate? Whatever it is. I want to help."

She watched him for a moment; taking in the gentleness in his eyes, the innate patience he seemed to have when it came to her, the complete lack of judgment in his voice, his ability to suggest a solution, but ultimately let her come to her own decision. These attributes were rare in a male in Kate's experience, and Castle was surprisingly good at this stuff.

So she sighed, and took a breath.

"My mom's case has hurt so many people, Castle. You included. I guess I'm worried that Kevin's going to blame me for everything that's happened. For he and Javi falling out, and the whole bust up of their partnership, the fallout with Gates, Javi's suspension, this new partner thing you were talking about. Just the whole mess of it all," she confessed, raising worried eyes to his. "We were like a family, all of us. And I broke it."

"Is that all?" Castle asked, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then making a move to stand.

"_What_? _That's it_? No big speech about how he won't blame me, that it's not all my fault, that the boys will fix this themselves in time. Hmm? None of that?" she asked, sounding at once confused and irritated.

Castle was smiling at her like the cat that got the cream.

"Doesn't seem as if I need to make that speech, Kate. You just said it all perfectly yourself."

"Whaa…?" she gaped. "Ugh! Infuriating man," she moaned, trying not to smile when he poked her in the side.

"Let's just go along tonight without any preconceptions, and aim to have a good time. You think we can do that? Because if we've got hours to go before I can peel you out of that sinful dress, then I for one intend to enjoy myself."

"Yeah, I guess I can do that," she agreed, squeezing Castle's hand before getting up off the bed. "You think you can keep your hands to yourself for the next few hours?"

"Not making any promises I can't be relied upon to keep," he admitted, trailing after her into the bathroom.

"Well, can you do one thing for me at least?" she asked, resting her hand on his chest to stop him following her any further.

"What's that?" he asked eagerly.

"If I get up from the table to go to the ladies' room tonight, don't follow me, okay?" she teased, pushing him back out of the bathroom and closing the door on him so that she could have some privacy.

* * *

"35 East 18th," Castle told the driver, before sliding into the back of the town car beside her. "Between Broadway and Park," he added, as the car service's relief man closed the door.

"You good?" he asked Kate as they settled in next to one another.

"I told you we could just have grabbed a cab," she murmured, leaning close enough that her perfume became nothing short of intoxicating, entirely replacing his oxygen supply for a moment as he breathed her in.

Jo Malone's Vanilla & Anise cologne had just rocketed to the top of his list of all time favorite fragrances, eclipsing warm buttered popcorn, cotton candy, truffle mac n cheese, and a caramel pistachio soufflé he'd once had at Nobu in L.A. and couldn't stop talking about for days afterwards.

He made a mental note to steal a few drops of her perfume to put on a cotton handkerchief he could stash in his underwear drawer, just so that he could smell her whenever the need overtook him. And, no, that idea wasn't creepy at all, he told himself confidently. Stealing a pair of her panties…now _that _would be creepy.

"Hey. Where'd you go?" she asked, slipping a cool hand into his.

He blinked a couple of times to clear the images from his mind; images of the various pairs of her panties he'd seen so far, both on her amazing body, and when he'd '_helped_' her to unpack her weekend bag the day after she arrived at the loft.

"Nowhere. Right here," he lied, squeezing her hand, while he fought the heat that was rushing up his neck and tightening his dress pants.

Traffic was mercifully light for a Friday evening, and they arrived at the restaurant ahead of schedule, with fifteen minutes to spare. The driver let them out of the car a couple of doors down from the main entrance, to avoid the slew of parked cars clogging the street on either side.

"I'll call you when we're done, Joel," said Castle, offering Kate his hand to help her out of the black Mercedes sedan, while simultaneously pressing some folded bills into the driver's palm.

"Okay. We good?" he asked Kate, offering her his arm so she could better navigate the narrow sidewalk in her strappy heels. "You ready to have fun?"

"When you say it like that it sounds like we're about to go undercover," she complained.

"Hey, some of my best memories of working with you are from our undercover ops."

"Oh, yeah?" asked Kate, her face brightening with a curious smile. "Which ones?"

"Eh, well, there's that Russian gambling club, for one. When you walked in through the door in that little black nothing of a dress, barking out Soviet curses, or whatever that was, like a pro," he grinned.

"You mean like a _real _pro?" she asked, turning to give him a stare.

"Yeah," he grinned crazily, misconstruing her question.

He pushed open the door of the restaurant and ushered her in ahead of him while they carried on their conversation.

"Are you saying that I looked like a _Russian hooker_?"

Her voice came out louder than intended, now that they were indoors. And it seemed as if the entire front half of the restaurant had heard Kate's question, since a good number of them stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at the good looking couple who'd just blown in through the door in the midst of what might actually be quite a fascinating argument. Silverware and glasses were noisily placed down against tabletops and plates, and a fascinated hush settled over the closest tables.

Kate looked back over her shoulder at Castle, feeling for him just as he placed his hands on her waist, smiling past her at the hostess who was eyeing them with some concern.

"Yeah, so that was the punch line," said Castle loudly, "but my mother got it mixed up. You know how she always ruins a good joke," he improvised madly.

"Right," said Kate through a forced smile, feeling as if her top lip had just stuck to her teeth.

"Oh my god," squealed an excited voice somewhere off to their right, drawing their attention. "Is this what it looks like?" screamed Jenny as she hopped down off a stool where she and Ryan had been sitting at the counter over by the window. "Are you guys finally, like…?" she lisped adorably.

Mrs. Ryan's pale blue eyes danced, her loosely curled blonde hair, and pale peachy complexion gazing up at the tall couple, excitement radiating out of every pore.

"You didn't tell her, Kevin?" asked Kate, looking over at the pale Irish detective hovering near his wife.

"I wanted to see for myself," smirked Ryan. "I only had Castle's word that you guys were together, and we all know what an unreliable witness he can be," he joked, heartily slapping Castle on the back, before pulling Kate into a warm hug.

"How're you doing, boss?" he asked her affectionately, before releasing her again.

Kate laughed when Castle protested that he made an excellent witness, suddenly feeling completely at ease as her nerves drained away. Yes, these were friends they could rely on. Castle had been right again. She took his hand, and tugged him closer to her.

"Well, for once he was well informed," beamed Kate, relieved to see that the rest of the diners had mostly gone back to enjoying their meals.

Castle slid his hand around her waist and Kate gratefully leaned into his side.

"Oh my. This is just…" grinned Jenny, positively bursting with excitement. "You guys just make the most wonderful couple. I've always said you were perfect for one another, haven't I, honey?" she said, nudging Ryan in the ribs.

He winced at the impact. "Yeah, honey. You were right again," nodded Ryan, through gritted teeth.

Kate looked at Castle, who was unconsciously stroking her side, sending shots of electricity up and down her right thigh. He smiled at her, and then leaned in to press his lips to her temple. Her eyes briefly drifted closed and she swayed against him.

"We should probably go to our table," suggested Ryan, ushering them towards the hostess station. "Before they give it away to someone else."

"Table for Rodgers," said Castle, stepping forward. "Party of four."

"Welcome, Mr. Rodgers, Mrs. Rodgers," said the super-attractive, incredibly tall girl in the slinky black dress, smiling first at Castle and then Kate.

Neither of them corrected her. Either cool with the unintended error or unwilling to draw further attention to themselves, they formed a silent pact.

"Let me show you and your guests to the wonderful table we have lined up for you this evening. Please, follow me," she said brightly, arming herself with a stack of menus, and a copy of the wine list.

Kate linked arms with Ryan as they followed the hostess through the restaurant, while Castle chivalrously squired Jenny to their table.

"You're looking good, Beckett," said Ryan quietly, giving her arm a squeeze. "Being with Castle suits you."

"Thanks," said Kate, patting Ryan's hand appreciatively. "It feels good, finally getting things out in the open."

* * *

The polished wooden floor, chunky ceiling beams, and driftwood sculptures, the whitewashed rough-hewn stonewalls, and basic, white furniture gave the restaurant a warm, modern, Scandinavian feel. A mix of halogen spots and low-hanging, white chandeliers added to the overall effect.

The hostess, Shawn was her name it turned out, led them over to a large round table which faced the pass; the open area between the restaurant and the kitchen where the chef inspected every dish before it was sent out to the customers.

Their table was actually a large, thick slab of highly polished wood, its' edges left untouched so that they followed the undulating outline of the undoubtedly large tree from which it had been cut. The surface was shiny, varnished, and covered in a rich, intricate pattern of knots and burls. Bird's-eye maple, thought Castle, if he was to hazard a guess, skimming the smooth surface with his fingertips before running them over the rougher bark around the edge.

Kate's hand against his back drew him out of his rumination.

"You okay?" she asked, watching him with concern.

"Ah, yeah. Never better," he replied, smiling at her, and then pulling out a chair for her to sit.

Jenny quickly settled in at Kate's right hand side, ignoring the conventional boy-girl seating arrangement so that she could catch up on a little girl-gossip first hand, no doubt.

Castle smiled to himself at little, innocent Jenny's cunning, and then proceeded to plant himself at Kate's other side, unwilling to relinquish his girlfriend's company for even the length of the dinner.

"So, I want to hear everything," Castle heard Jenny chirp, and then he felt Kate's hand curl around his knee and give it a reassuring squeeze. He dropped his hand beneath the table to cover hers, and squeezed back, nudging her knee with his at the same time.

"Are you guys playing footsie?" asked Ryan, rather loudly, making Castle jump guiltily, so that his knee struck the underside of the table - the totally solid, incredibly heavy, wooden table. His eyes began to water.

"Footsie? _No_," he denied, vigorously shaking his head to make his lie look more convincing.

"We were holding hands, if you must know," confessed Kate, coolly eyeing Ryan, watching him flounder a little without his buddy to back him up in whatever sharp retort he'd usually have ready.

Jenny grinned even wider, if that was possible.

"Aren't they just so cute?" she asked her husband, beaming with admiration for them.

"Cute, yeah," agreed Ryan, half-heartedly, thinking that the two of them in cahoots like this was probably more than the world could handle.

"So," said Castle, keen to change the focus of the conversation. "Tonight, dinner is on us. You are _our_ guests," he announced, much to Jenny's delight.

Ryan went to protest, but Kate cut him off, laying a hand on Castle's arm.

"Ryan, Castle's right. I haven't had a chance to say this yet, but I owe you _so much_ for saving my life the other day. I can never repay you for what you've done for me. So, buying you guys dinner is the very least we can do," she added, as Castle slid his hand into hers on top of the table, lacing their fingers together.

"Like I told you the other day, Ryan. I'm forever in your debt for saving this one's life," he explained, gripping Kate's hand even tighter. "I hate to think where we'd be if you hadn't acted when you did. We're both just so grateful."

"Guys, guys," said Ryan, looking humbled and embarrassed by their thanks and their praise. "Seeing you two together, finally, after all this time, is all the thanks I need. So, enough already."

Then he turned to look at Castle and added, "And if you screw this up, man, 30,000 brothers in the NYPD will come down on you like a ton of bricks."

Kate laughed, and leaned over to playfully rock her shoulder against her partner's. "He's not going to screw it up. Don't worry. I won't let him," she said, gazing at Castle with so much love in her eyes. "We've both waited too long for this to even think about messing it up. Isn't that right?" she asked Castle.

"You heard the lady," he announced, waving their waitress over so he could order the wine before things got anymore emotional. "White good for everyone or…?"

A chorus of yeses to white wine followed, so Castle ordered a bottle of Californian Chardonnay and a couple of bottles of sparkling water. Once the wine was poured and tasted, Ryan raised his glass, and proposed a toast.

"To Rick and Kate, our good friends. May you find as much happiness together as Jenny and I."

He clinked glasses with the writer and the detective, before doing the same with his wife, who echoed his toast with a jubilant, "To Rick and Kate!"

Kate's pressed lip smile and happy, sparkling eyes told Castle all he needed to know. They were easing into this nicely, Kate was more than doing her part, and his fears that's she'd get cold feet after a few days living under the same roof with him where draining away. The moment got the better of him, and he balanced his arm on the back of Kate's chair so that he could lean closer and whisper in her ear.

"Love you," he murmured, brushing her hair with his lips, before moving back to his own space to begin studying the menu as if the last few seconds had all been her imagination.

One look at Jenny's face told her she'd imagined nothing, so she dropped her gaze to her own menu until she could get her poor, hammering heart under control.

* * *

The dinner was a happy, raucous event. Jenny and Kevin were good company; a relaxed couple who were more than happy to share silly stories of their own relationship woes in the interest of getting a few laughs from their friends. They put Kate at her ease, all her fears about Ryan's reaction to their work issues set to one side for now.

When Castle rose to visit the men's room, once their appetizer dishes had been removed, he ran his hand affectionately over the back of Kate's head before leaving the table. She leant into his touch, turning her head to smile up at him while she carried on her conversation with Jenny.

"So, how's our boy taking it?" asked Ryan, as soon as Castle was out of earshot. "He seemed pretty freaked out by everything when I met him the other day?"

"He's…he's doing better, Kevin. Much better, thanks. It was difficult at first. He came to see me at home, tried to stop me from pursuing the case, and he was right. I was just too stubborn to listen. Walking away that day…for him…it must have been really difficult. So, yeah, it took him some time to get over it, and start to believe that…" Kate blushed, and looked down at her plate. "Yeah," she laughed nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear, "that I loved him," she confessed to their friends.

"I think maybe he blamed himself for not being there that day," said Ryan, watching for Kate's response.

"He felt responsible, yes. But in no way was any of what happened his fault. He has always tried his best for me, even when I didn't want it he was there. Hell, you know that," said Kate, giving Ryan a knowing smile.

"Mom and dad used to fight a lot," said Ryan, sharing their little in-joke his wife. "Javi and I didn't like it," he said, shaking his head like a pouty little boy.

"Is he like that at work?" Jenny asked Kate, amused by her husband's antics.

"Not often, but yeah, it has been known. Especially with his side-kick to back him up," she added unconsciously, before drawing her lip between her teeth when she reran her awkward remark in her head.

Ryan toyed with his butter knife, pushing some breadcrumbs around his plate.

"Kevin, I'm so sorry about you and Javier," she said, waiting until the Irish detective raised his pale blue eyes to hers and shrugged.

Castle returned to the table just as Kate was continuing her apology, and he swept his hand down her back while she spoke, moving it lower until it came to rest in the hollow of her waist.

"If I could go back to that day…you have to know I'd do things differently," she said, watching as he nodded slowly, accepting her words. "I've hurt so many people in the blind pursuit of my mom's case, not least you guys, and Castle. But that's over now," she said confidently, trying to re-animate the mood at the table.

Kevin looked a little uncomfortable, and Kate wasn't sure what was causing it. His eyes darted to the table and back up again, making him look shifty. He had always been terrible at hiding things, made a useless liar.

"Are you…have you spoke to Javi?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"It's not that," he added, raising his eyes to Kate and then looking over at Castle.

"Kevin, what is it? You're scaring me," said Kate.

"Kevin," said Jenny quietly, laying a hand on his arm. "Maybe this can wait, honey? Leave it until Monday," she suggested. "This isn't the place."

"No," interjected Kate, startling Jenny a little. "What is it, Kevin? Tell us," she said, looking over at Castle to see that he was backing her up on this.

Castle nodded gravely, silently, and slid his hand higher up Kate's back, until it was resting on her neck beneath her hair. He gave the tight muscles at the nape of her neck a reassuring squeeze.

The waitress arrived with their entrees just as Kevin was about to make his point. So they dropped the conversation until the food had been laid in front of each setting.

Kate had ordered black sea bass with chillis, Jenny had the roasted diver scallops, Castle had selected the wood oven roasted Maine lobster, and Kevin had the Akaushi cheeseburger with herbed mayo. The waitress topped up their wine and water glasses, before bidding them 'bon appetit' and withdrawing to allow them to enjoy their meal.

"Kevin?" prompted Kate, her mind running away with her by now, having studied the young detective's serious expression while their food was served.

Castle interceded. "Kevin, whatever it is, we'd both like to know. Keeping secrets hasn't helped any of us in the past," he added sensibly.

"We got a call," began Ryan somewhat reluctantly. "Some random intel really. It was Karpowski who put two and two together."

"What? Kevin spit it out," said Kate, her voice verging on frantic now.

Castle rubbed her back again, trying desperately to keep her calm.

"There was a homicide on the Upper East Side. Rich guy, well connected, but flies under the radar, discreet in the way only money and power can make you. Anyway, he was found dead in his apartment the morning after we pulled you off that rooftop. Wasn't our case, but like I said, some intel landed on our desk. Crime scene techs found a partial print, matched it to a set of prints we were able to pull off Montgomery's wedding album. The one you and Javi found in Maddox' room at the Rosslyn Hotel."

Kate's eyes grew large at this new information. The table went silent, accented further by the quiet hum and chatter of the other diners happily carrying on around them, the welcome buzz accompanied by the intermittent clatter of silverware.

"And you think this guy is…?" asked Kate, staring at Ryan with wide frightened eyes.

But it wasn't Kevin Ryan who answered her question. The answer came from her own partner, Richard Castle, whose low voice resonated next to her ear.

"Smith," he said, his eyes meeting Ryan's and then migrating to lock with Kate's.

"Is that…_Rick?_" she clutched at his arm where it rested on the table, "Is that _the guy_?" she whispered, tilting her head to the side to screen her question from the rest of the restaurant.

He nodded silently, his jaw working furiously now as the impact of this new information started to sink in. The _one guy_ Montgomery had trusted to keep Kate safe was most likely dead. And if he was gone, what was to stop whoever was behind all of this from tying up the rest of the loose ends – namely Kate Beckett, and possibly those closest to her.

Kate was reeling from the shock of Ryan's confession. The comfort she'd taken from finally making the decision to walk away from this case, to choose a life with her partner over almost certain death, had suddenly been robbed from her, the decision taken out of her hands once more.

She vaguely heard Castle interrogating Ryan.

"Was anything taken?"

"Safe was lying open. A bundle of cash, passports, and a couple of expensive watches had been left inside. So they're pretty sure it wasn't a robbery."

"Where'd they find the partial?" asked Castle, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Pulled it off the underside of a brass desk lamp, right next to the switch. Looks like our guy must have been waiting for the victim to come home. Surprised him. Aside from a painting over the fireplace that was lit up with one of those little picture light things, and a few gloomy wall sconces, the desk lamp was the only other light source left on in the room. Curtains were closed."

"Was there a match in the system?" he asked hopefully, holding his breath for the answer.

Ryan shook his head. "Sorry, bro. Guy's still a ghost."

"Who found him?" asked Kate, finding her voice again.

"Housekeeper found him the next morning. Single GSW to the forehead. 9mm, close range, not a lot left of the back of the guy's head," said Ryan dryly, his tone flat and matter of fact.

They all heard Jenny's soft gasp, and three heads turned simultaneously to look at her, as if just remembering that she was sitting at the table with them.

A single tear rolled down Jenny's cheek, and she quickly brushed it away. Making her excuses, she stood and hurried off towards the ladies' room.

"Maybe we should leave this tonight," suggested Castle, jerking his head in the direction of Jenny's empty chair.

"Castle, _leave it_? How can we _leave it_ when we know this guy's still out there, killing at will?"

"There's nothing we can do tonight. Ryan, did you get copies of all the reports? Postmortem, ballistics, crime scene forensics, photographs, inventory, any information picked up during the canvas?"

"I can get copies," agreed Ryan.

"You off duty tomorrow?"

"On-call, but yeah, unless I get a call out."

"Okay, so how about we meet at the loft tomorrow morning. Go over what we know, and then work out a plan," suggested Castle.

He looked at Kate to see what she thought of the idea. She looked unconvinced, but as if she might be teetering, on the verge of agreeing.

"Kate, why don't we just try to enjoy the rest of the evening, at least for Jenny's sake? Take some time to mull this over. We'll be able to see things more clearly in the morning. We can't even know for sure that the dead guy _is_ Smith at this point. So let's try not to panic."

She looked close to tears, her chin started to quiver. She'd walked away, done what they wanted, and now she had so much more to lose it terrified her. Dealing with this thing alone was one thing. But her time with Castle had been all too brief, too wonderful and too brief. What if she lost him after everything they'd been through to get here?

His arm was around her shoulder before she realized, his chair scraping closer, shielding her from the rest of the diners.

"Kate, I'm right here. We're gonna deal with this," he promised, speaking quietly, for her ears only, hoping his words would get through. "We're going to get this guy. Put him away this time."

She looked at him like he was mad.

"How can you _say_ that? How can you even _promise_ that?" she asked, swiping an angry tear from her cheek.

"Because we'll do it right this time. We work together, gather all the information we need, go after him with the full force of the NYPD behind us. Does Gates know about any of this?" asked Castle, turning back to address Ryan.

The younger detective nodded, and then gave Kate an apologetic look. He shrugged. "She's been all over us these past few days, crawling up our ass' over the smallest thing. I'm sorry, Kate," he said.

"Does _Javi_ know?" asked Kate.

Kevin shook his head. "He won't answer my calls. I was wondering if maybe he'd taken off for a few days?"

"No, Lanie said she'd spoken to him," said Kate. "Sorry. So Gates and Karpowski know. Anyone else?"

"Investigating detective is a guy named Howard. Ernie Howard out of the 19th. He flagged the print. He and Karpowski were ride along partners for like a year back at the end of the nineties. I think the guy still has a crush on her or something because he brought the prelim report over personally."

"Okay, so Gates knows," repeated Kate, letting all of the facts sink in.

"Doesn't mean we have to tell her anything. Not until we get our plan straight," suggested Castle.

"No, best we keep it to ourselves. If she knows you and Castle are anywhere near this…"

He trailed off as Jenny rejoined the group.

Kate stood up, dropping her hand to Jenny's elbow as she sat back down with her.

"Jenny, I'm sorry we brought this up tonight. I hope we haven't ruined the evening talking about work," she added, trying to act like it was nothing, like it was all just some routine shoptalk. "Why don't we order dessert? Hmm?" she suggested, with so much poise that Castle was overwhelmed with gratitude for this beautiful, strong, caring woman who loved him. "This can wait until tomorrow," she added, reaching for Castle's hand under the table and giving it a squeeze.

_A/N: Thank you for the generous reviews. Hope you enjoyed the latest, longer installment. Liv_


	31. Chapter 31 The Ones We Love

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 31 – The Ones We Love_**

They rode home in silence, seatbelts on, separated by the width of another person in the back of the Mercedes town car.

Ryan had looked stricken when they left the table, as if he somehow felt he'd done the wrong thing yet again by sharing this new piece of information with them.

Kate pulled him off to one side near the front door and gripped his shoulders firmly.

"Kevin Ryan, you are _the_ best back-up any cop could hope to have," she said with fierce intensity. "You did the right thing tonight. Now go home, get some sleep, and take care of Jenny. We'll see you in the morning," she added, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "Text if you get called out."

They hadn't really spoken after that, just sat on their separate sides of the sedan staring out at the city. Staring out at a city that was harboring Cole Maddox, or whatever the hell his real name was, somewhere within it's streets and avenues, in a building, an apartment block, some low-rent hotel room, or a five star suite, this guy was hiding, and Kate Beckett was going to find him, hunt him down, and end this once and for all.

* * *

All too soon they pulled up in front of Castle's building, and Joel was opening the door for Kate, helping her out. Castle skirted the rear of the car and hurried to get behind her, crowding her back as he quickly tipped the driver. He ushered her towards the front door of the building like she was POTUS and he was her one-man Secret Service squad.

"Castle, _stop_," she said, halting at the entrance to his lobby.

"_What_?" he said with false levity, "You don't like me touching you now?"

"You know I like you touching me, but that's not what this is, and you know it," she challenged back.

He looked wounded and defeated now that she'd found him out so easily, and called him on his behavior.

"Can we just please go inside?" he asked, casting a wary glance up and down the street.

"We can go inside, but we're not going to live like hunted animals, Rick. I refuse to do that. We can be sensible, and careful without this spiraling into some kind of a nightmare, where home becomes a prison cell for us, and we stay inside, cooped up together because we're too scared to go out."

"I'd rather be cooped up with you and alive, than free to roam the city and feel like we have a target on our backs."

"No one has a right to make us feel that way. Least of all _this_ guy. Let's just get upstairs and try to calm down. I need you with me on this, not freaking out over every long shadow, every loud noise or heavy footfall."

"Kate, that's not fair."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right," she said, taking his hand for the first time in the last forty minutes. Touching him for the first time in forty minutes. It hadn't gone unnoticed. "You've always been there for me, even when I didn't want it," she smiled, bumping his shoulder as they waited for the elevator. "I need you to be there now," she said quietly, looking straight-ahead and then down at her feet, before turning to glance up at his face.

"You've got me, Kate. You _know_ that. _Always_, right?" he said, ushering her in ahead of him through the opening doors of the elevator.

* * *

The car rose swiftly upwards, but slowed after a couple of floors. Kate felt her whole body tense, despite what she'd just chided her partner for, as the doors slid smoothly open once again. She cursed the loss of her gun, stepping to the side so that she was shielded by the control panel, and out of the immediate line of fire, deliberately stepping in front of her partner.

"Why good evening, Mr. Castle," smiled the grey-haired lady from two floors down. "My don't you two look lovely. Been out somewhere nice?" she asked, looking warmly at Kate.

"Mrs. Olsen. Good to see you. We were out for dinner with friends tonight. This is my girlfriend, Kate, by the way. And Kate, this is Mrs. Olsen and her little dog, Charlie," he added, indicting Mrs. Olsen's miniature dachshund; a tiny shadow of a thing on the end of a bright red lead.

A pair of chocolate button eyes looked up at Kate and blinked. The elevator doors closed, and it carried on its' ascent towards Castle's floor.

"It was lovely to meet you, Mrs. Olsen. Charlie," said Kate, waving at the old lady as she exited the elevator with Castle's hand planted firmly at her back.

"Don't think I don't know what you did back there," muttered Castle, as he fished for his keys.

"What?" asked Kate, the one feigning innocence this time.

"Come on, Kate. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Yes, so you've taken to pointing out," she replied dryly, trying to ignore his main point.

"You stepped in front of me. When the elevator doors opened, you stepped in front of me."

"To make space for the next occupants, yes," she lied.

"That is so much _crap_, and you know it," he growled, turning to face her as the door swung inwards.

"Castle, don't start. It's too late for this and I'm tired. All I want is to crawl into bed with you and pretend like the worst parts of tonight never happened."

"But we can't do that. Can we?" he pointed out, feeling the beginnings of a fight brewing in him.

He knew none of this was her fault, but he needed to lash out at someone, and who did you do that to? Those you loved the most.

"We can try," she said, tugging him indoors by his lapels, her eyes losing focus as she slanted her mouth over his.

Castle remained rigid, rooted to the spot, his arms hanging loosely by his sides. He was determined not to touch her, determined not to give in.

Kate carried on trying to get a reaction from him, trying to make him forget with her mouth and her tongue and her fingers in his hair until he grasped her wrists firmly and pulled her off him.

"Is this what you were trying to do the other night, when you showed up at my door soaking wet and begging? Use me to distract yourself from the fear, Kate? Huh? Is that what that was?"

Kate's face looked startled, as if he'd just slapped her.

"He got away and you didn't care? _Bullshit!_" he yelled, slamming the front door, and then pushing past her into the living room.

Kate spun around and watched him go. Watched him take off his jacket and throw it over the back of a chair, watched him start unbuttoning his cuffs, the small buttons on the front of his navy dress shirt, tug the tails out of his pants on the way to the bedroom.

He left her standing in the entrance feeling like a complete stranger.

She rubbed a hand over her eyes, wasn't quite sure what to do next. He'd told her to make herself at home here, and yet suddenly it felt like anything _but_ home. She stepped out of her heels, hung them on her fingers as she padded towards the kitchen. Poured herself a glass of water from the sink, and leaned against the counter to drink it, her arm drawn protectively up and over her chest, shielding her suddenly tight-feeling scar.

* * *

"Kate?" came a sleepy feminine voice from somewhere off to her right.

"Alexis?" asked Kate, peering through the dim, almost non-existent light in the living area.

"I thought I heard voices. Raised voices. Was my dad shouting? Are you guys fighting?" she asked, a worried look creasing her ghostly pale face.

Kate nearly jumped when she heard his voice from out of the darkness, stage left.

"No, sweetie. We're not fighting. I'm sorry if I woke you. We were just…talking about a thing that happened over dinner with the Ryans tonight. A funny story," he added, his eyes sliding to Kate's. "I think I got a little over-excited," he added, and Kate cringed inwardly.

Alexis was a sharp cookie. If he prattled on anymore she was bound to smell a rat.

"Did you want some water? Or I can warm you some milk," offered Kate, trying to remedy the situation. "With cinnamon, like we had the other night," she suggested, trying out a stiff smile.

Alexis looked from one adult to the other, as if she was trying to figure out which one of them to trust right now. She evidently chose Kate, because she sloped over to the island and hopped up on a stool.

"Warm milk would be great, and it's a yes to the cinnamon," she said, leaning over to grab a grape from the fruit bowl.

"Rick, what about you?" asked Kate, trying to smooth things over between them so this thing, this horror story, wouldn't come between them any more than it already had. "You want some too?"

Her eyes were gentle, no sign of reproach or hurt anywhere in their hazel-green depths. He felt a rush of shame at his behavior, and he walked towards her on automatic pilot. Once he was by her side he slid a hand round her back, buried his face in her neck, and she was pretty sure he would have started weeping if she hadn't reminded him to get himself under control in front of his daughter.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered against her skin, his heart breaking along with the apology. "Forgive me?" he begged as quiet as a breath so that only Kate could hear.

Kate smiled what she hoped was reassuringly at Alexis, and pushed on her father's shoulder to separate them a little.

"So, is that a yes to my cinnamon milk, or you just want to stay here and cuddle until we fall asleep standing up?" she asked jovially.

He looked broken.

"Rick, the milk?" she asked a little more sharply, communicating '_pull it together_' at him with her eyes.

"Eh, that'd be great," he finally replied, leaning down to kiss her on the top of the head, still looking way too clingy, as if he couldn't bear to leave her.

"Fine. Go sit, and I'll take care of it," she said, handing him her shoes and pushing him away.

He traipsed off to the bedroom, deposited her shoes in the closet, changed into a fresh t-shirt, a pair of lounge pants, and his slippers before coming back to take up residence at the counter next to Alexis.

His daughter looked warily at him.

"So, this funny story…?" she began to ask.

"Was not so funny in the retelling," interjected Kate, saving Castle from another lie.

He smiled gratefully at her.

"Oh, but we did see Paz de la Huerta tonight," added Kate, trying to distract Alexis with a little tidbit of celebrity gossip.

Castle looked askance.

"Oh, your dad missed her, though I don't know how. She had this huge entourage with her."

"What did she look like, in real life, I mean?" asked Alexis, leaning on her hands waiting for Kate's reply.

"Actually, pretty much the same as on Boardwalk Empire – tall, willowy, a little crazy, and there's just something about her. _Something_…"

"Ethereal?" suggested Alexis.

"Yes, ethereal's a great way to describe it," agreed Kate, stirring the pan of milk as it began to steam and bubble.

She opened a couple of cabinets before finding the cinnamon in the pullout pantry, and then added a dusting to the milk.

When she looked back up, Castle was watching her, his eyes filled with so much emotion she could barely discern what it all meant. It was a mix of seeing her take charge in his kitchen, watching her handle his daughter, forgive him for his bad behavior, and control her own undoubtedly rising panic for the sake of those around her. It was admiration, and gratitude, respect, and so much love all boiled into one long, unwavering look. And it nearly floored her.

She poured out the milk into three separate servings with a shaking hand, and then rinsed the pan under the faucet, before handing over the mugs of steaming liquid.

"Don't we get cookies with this?" asked Castle, finally finding his adult ego state, and managing to parent the needy, scared child within, just as he'd watched Kate do. "I heard you guys had cookies the other night," he added with a theatrical whine.

"What do you think, Alexis?" asked Kate, leaning over the counter towards them. "Should we let this guy share our cookies?"

"That sounds kinda weird," said Alexis, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, Kate. How'd you make something as innocent as cookies sound so creepy?" asked Castle, joining in the tease.

"You want one or not?" she asked, leveling him with a glare and a raised eyebrow.

"Snickerdoodle," he asked, holding out his hand.

"Alexis?"

"Choc-chip," she replied, slapping her dad's open palm. "You look like Oliver Twist asking for more, dad. Kate'll give you the cookie. Just give her a chance," she chided, nudging his arm off the counter so he fell forward, slopping a little hot milk onto the shiny surface.

"Hey! Hot liquid and thin pants here," he warned her, grabbing a sheet of kitchen towel to wipe up the spillage.

"Thin pants, dad? _Seriously?_ That's grosser than Kate's creepy cookie comment."

"Creepy cookie comment," he teased, mimicking her.

"Shut up," she retaliated, bumping him with her shoulder.

"_You_ shut up," he replied, bumping her back.

"Okay, how about you both shut up before we wake Martha," suggested Kate. "Drink your milk, and eat your cookies, and don't forget to brush you teeth," said Kate, hiding a smirk behind her own mug as she sipped her hot milk with one hand resting on her hip.

"Yes, _mom!_" chorused Castle and Alexis together, bursting out laughing at their synchronicity.

Kate looked flustered. "Have you…_no_. Have you guys been practicing that, just so you could spring it on me at some opportune moment?"

They looked at one another and then shook their heads, grinning like idiots.

"Totally creepy then," said Kate, turning away with a shake of her head to rinse her cup in the sink.

Alexis bid Kate and her dad goodnight, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and a brief hug.

"Sweetie, Uncle Ryan's probably coming over in the morning. Kate just has a few loose ends to tie up with work," he lied. "But we'll use my office, stay out of your way."

"I'm going out with grams. So don't worry," she said, eyeing her dad suspiciously again. "Is everything really okay?" she asked, looking to Kate for the answer.

"Everything's going to be fine. Now don't forget to brush your teeth," said Kate, picking up Alexis' long braid and letting it run through her fingers.

"Night, Kate," said the girl, giving her a grateful look.

If she could conquer Castle's daughter, there ought to be nothing she couldn't achieve, nailing a hired assassin included. It was with that thought that she trailed off, exhausted, towards the bedroom praying the drama was over for tonight.

* * *

Castle was sitting up in bed, no book or iPad in front of him, just waiting for her apparently, as he toyed with the edge of the sheet.

"Kate," he said, as she entered the room. "Please, come here?" he asked, his eyes a cloudy blue, the crinkles either side making him look sadder and older than she'd seen in a long time. He held out his hands to her.

She walked over to his side of the bed, perched on the edge beside him, and took his hands in her own.

"Kate, I'm so, _utterly_…"

"Castle, shhh," she said gently, placing her finger over his lips. "I meant what I said to Kevin and Jenny tonight."

He looked at her with the question in his eyes, trying to remember what she might be referencing.

"We've waited too long for this to even think about messing it up, Rick. I won't let you. It doesn't matter what you say or do. I'm not letting go."

"Oh god, Kate," he choked, tugging her towards him in a harsh embrace that lifted her feet from the floor and had her rolling sideways and falling on top of him.

"I'm so sorry," he mouthed in to her neck. "Please forgive me?"

"Castle, there's nothing to forgive," she promised, pushing herself upright and then sitting back a little so that she could look at him properly.

She touched her fingers tenderly to his jaw, brushed the point of his chin with her thumb as she looked into his eyes.

"You were scared. I understand. We all lash out from time-to-time. But while we both understand that, Alexis doesn't. We have to protect her from this for as long as we can. So, I need you to pull it together, okay? Do what you'd tell me to do, because your advice is always spot on. You always centered me when I needed it, grounded me when I was spinning out of control. Of course I'll help you, but you need to do it for yourself too, Castle, and for Alexis."

"I don't know what I'd do without you anymore," he admitted, allowing Kate to be the strong one tonight. "I was losing it out there and you protected my daughter from that, from seeing me like that. Thank you, Kate."

"Hey, what are partner-come-girlfriends for?" she asked, gently tweaking his cheek.

"I preferred Mrs. Rodgers," he blurted out, and his eyes went wide as saucers.

Either the wine with dinner had tranquilized Kate, or she really was as superhumanly cool as she looked tonight.

"Well, see, _my_ preference would be for _Mrs. Castle_. It has a better ring to it, don't you think?" she said, hopping down off the bed and heading for the closet without missing a beat, leaving Castle staring after her in disbelief.

_A/N: Thank you thank you for reviewing! Another long, slightly angsty, installment. Hope you like? Liv_


	32. Chapter 32 Pandora's Box

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 32 – Pandora's Box_**

He found her curled up in his office chair a little after four in the morning. She had one of his yellow legal pads balanced on her bare legs, a pen tapping thoughtfully at her lips.

After she disappeared to the closet to change out of her dress, she had returned minutes later wearing just her underwear - a suggestion of midnight blue satin - and nothing else. She had come to bed looking for him with such need on her face it had shocked him into a painfully swift arousal. They made love with her whispered promise hanging in the air, "I came here three nights ago to _face_ my fear, Castle, not hide from it."

And so they made love. Not the angry make-up sex he'd always anticipated would follow their first fight, but slow, tender lovemaking they each offered up as a comfort to the other.

Kate rose above him, strong and majestic, soothing away his fear and hurt with the roll of her hips over his, the warm heat of her mouth at his collarbone, his neck, his shoulder, the trail of soft curls tumbling down across his chest, and the light suction of her lips as she trailed kisses over his flushed, sensitized skin.

She made him forget all but her name and how much he loved her as she worshiped his body with hers in a way no other woman ever had. She excited him quickly and desperately every time, whipping him up with a look, a gentle touch, or her innate ability to anticipate his needs, and get inside his head. He was in awe of the way her body responded to him; opened to him, became soft and trembling under his touch, so aroused _just_ for him.

That night Kate led the way, teasing and easing them back towards the light, her long legs thrown over his as she straddled him, making the pace until he begged her to slow down, his heart beating too fast, his pleasure too close to peaking as he gasped her name. Only then, when she was sure he was with her, did she ease back, allowing him to take over and show her _his _strength, allowed him to carry her off to that magical place, that place where colors got brighter, images got sharper, until they merged into one great blinding flash of brilliant white, and she lost all ability to think, only feel. Until he brought her slowly back to earth with his mouth against hers, swallowing her cries and whispering her name.

* * *

He'd fallen asleep with her lying against his chest, cradled in the cove of his arms on the darkest side of midnight, his heart still so heavy with the angry words he'd thrown at her that he physically cringed ever time he ran it back through his mind. So surfacing from sleep at 4am to find her gone from his bed had jerked him awake better than any alarm ever could.

His feet barely made a sound on the wooden floor, and so Kate sat at the desk, head bowed, studying the notepad on her lap, still unaware of his presence.

"Kate, it's four in the morning. What are you doing out here?" he whispered, rubbing his arm and wishing he had more than just a pair of lounge pants on.

She looked up from the page, not startled, just responding to his question like she might have done at the precinct. As if she expected him to be there, curious, watching and waiting for her.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," she said, not actually answering his question, but not meaning to avoid it either. "Thought I'd get a start, make some notes," she added, holding up the pad for him to see, before adding a redundant, "Couldn't sleep."

He came closer, took the notepad from her to study it, trying to get his bleary eyes to focus on the page in the narrow pool of light coming from his desk lamp.

She had sketched out a miniature murder board on the yellow, lined paper, outlining the facts of the case as she remembered them. Had turned the paper so it was oriented landscape, giving her the widest space to work with. The detail all looked so familiar, and he felt dizzy with the breadth and depth of it, with his own exhaustive knowledge of the subject, knowledge that came rushing back to him in a great flood of shocking emotion.

But there were blanks in her summary, gaps in her diagram that screamed out to him.

"You okay?" she asked, seeing the worry in his eyes, the barely discernible, but undeniably present tremble in his hands.

They were reopening Pandora's box. Only this time they had so much more to lose.

* * *

Kate got up out of the chair, unfolding her long, bare legs from beneath her. His white t-shirt barely covered the tops of her thighs, and for a moment she distracted him so much that he lost his train of thought, stood there looking like a vacant imbecile, he was sure, by the time she made it to his side. The sensation of her cool fingers wrapping around his forearms jolted him out of his daze.

He pulled her against his chest, suddenly, fiercely, and then he kissed her, deeply, so deeply, pouring as much passion as he could into that kiss, until she clutched at his back, his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin, trying to hold on as he made her head spin with everything he was frantically trying to tell her.

When he finally let go, she stumbled back, caught herself against the desk, breathing hard, her eyes wild and open, her chest heaving. She touched her fingers to her damp, bruised lips.

"What was…_wow!_ What'd I do?" she asked, searching his face for clues. "That was…"

"I have to show you something," he said, his serious tone alerting her to the possible explanation for the kiss - a prophylactic against whatever came next.

"Please tell me this is something good?" she said, her eyes wary, her heart still hammering, "Because I don't think I can take anymore bad news tonight."

He didn't answer her one way or the other, just reached past her to pick up a small black remote from the surface of the desk. She followed his movements with her eyes, pondering the point of the little electronic contraption. Another of Castle's gadgets, no doubt. She was used to his fascination for technology by now, some of it so utterly childish and pointless that it was as if the designer had _him_ specifically in mind when he drafted out the plans.

The giant screen she'd assumed he only used to watch movies sprang to life, lighting up the office with its blank rectangle of bright blue. It actually looked more like a computer screen than a regular T.V., the longer she looked at it, and she started to shiver as she watched Castle begin to control it.

He hovered a curser over the lower right hand portion of the screen, and then double clicked the little trashcan icon in the corner. A new, white window opened up in the center of the blue expanse, and she stared at it wide-eyed. Only one folder was listed on the page. The file name and extension read 'BECKETT dot ppt '.

Her blood ran cold.

She made some kind of an involuntarily choking sound as she sank back against the edge of the desk, catching herself before she fell.

Castle cast a quick glance over his shoulder at her, and then turned back to face the screen. She watched him manipulate the cursor, hover it near the 'Empty Trash' button, which she willed him to press to get rid of whatever this thing was, this file he'd never shared with her before.

She closed her eyes and stopped breathing when he jerked his wrist, skating the white arrow towards the file with her name on it, and then proceeded to press the small button that would make or break them.

_A/N: More lovely reviews – thank you. Little bit angsty and a cliffhanger, oops! Stick with me, please? I may need a hand to hold. Liv_


	33. Chapter 33 Secrets, Lies & Compromise

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 33 – Secrets, Lies and Compromise_**

"Castle, what is this?" she choked out, her eyes never leaving the screen. "_What. Is. It_?" she repeated, louder the second time when he didn't answer her immediately.

Castle ignored her, just kept his eyes trained on the screen, taking it all in. _Again. _ Nothing changed despite the momentous movement in their personal lives – it was all still there, waiting for them. Lurking like the monsters of so many childhood nightmares, in a dark shadowy corner, the fear directly proportionate to the lack of concrete facts.

"Shhh, you'll wake the others," he said finally, turning round to look at her.

"_Wake_…? Are you _serious_?" she hissed. "Is _this_…? Is this what I _think_ it is? Have you been _hiding_ this from me?" she asked, anger and hurt flaring in her eyes.

Castle swallowed, knew this was coming, had known for months, and yet he still didn't know where to begin with an explanation.

"_All this time_? And these last few days when we…_Rick?_" she stopped talking, tearing her eyes away from the photographs, the facts, the questions and conjecture to stare at him, a look of complete betrayal and heartbreak on her face.

"Kate…" he started to say, but she cut him off.

"No. _No_. I am _way_ _too_ underdressed for this," she said, shoving a hand against his chest and making her way past him into the bedroom.

He sighed, scrubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw, rasping the dark growth under his fingertips, and then pivoted on his bare feet to go and find her, try to smooth things over.

* * *

He didn't have to go far or look too hard, since he could hear her the minute he entered the bedroom. She was in his closet, throwing things if the sounds coming from inside were anything to go by. He closed his eyes, willed away the dread bubbling up in his chest.

He'd been anticipating this moment with equal parts fear and eagerness since he'd created the damn board. He'd been afraid of her reaction – an emotion justified by her response to his confession about Smith at her apartment a few days ago. And he'd been eager to share with her the work he'd done. How he'd collated the facts of the case so he could work on it while keeping her safe, preserving the integrity of the timeline and the evidence no matter what happened at the Precinct – new bosses, interventions from One P.P., a failure in the evidence lock-up, files mysteriously going missing, fires, floods, the poisonous influence of more bent cops or politicians or shadowy power player they as yet knew nothing about. He'd done all of this to protect her mother's case from all of that, to preserve the facts until justice could be done. He'd been eager to share it with her because he hated carrying the burden of that damn secret. And he knew she'd be mad, but he did it anyway. Just like always, because it was for her own good. And he loved her dammit.

If Kate had just been able to hear these thoughts running through his head, if she could have taken a glimpse inside his mind right then, inside his heart, they might have shorted out what came next. But life isn't a fairytale, and sometimes it gets messy, and sometimes, as he already knew, we hurt the ones we love.

* * *

"Looking for something?" he asked, watching her from the doorway as she tipped another shoebox off a shelf, sending a pair of his loafers crashing to the floor in a flurry of tissue paper and tumbling cardboard.

"Castle…just _don't_," she grit out, glaring at him.

"Don't _what_, Kate?" he challenged her, because this hot and cold routine was getting old.

She wanted them to talk everything out, and she'd been so forgiving when he'd hurled some pretty ugly accusations at her earlier that night, and now, now _she_ was refusing to listen to him at all.

"You _know_ what. Don't try and cheer me out of this with a few well-placed, charming, funny, insightful, witty little remarks. Because that routine isn't going to work this time."

"You're trashing my closet Kate," he pointed out, looking down at the boxes of shoes littering the floor. "At four in the morning. I figure you must be looking for something."

He wasn't going to let her away with this. He was going to haul her ass in front of that screen, and _make_ her look at what they'd achieved together, and show her _why_. _Why_ he'd done this – _all of it_ – carried this burden alone, even when he knew it might mean her walking away from him for good.

He pulled open a couple of the low level drawers and tugged out a t-shirt for himself and then a pair of leggings for her. He thrust the leggings against her chest, holding them there defiantly until she grasped them for herself, and then he shook out the t-shirt and dragged it down over his head.

He didn't wait for her to put the leggings on, just grabbed her wrist and tugged firmly.

"What the hell?" she protested, as her foot slipped and she tried to hold firm on the varnished wooden floor.

"Just…follow me, okay?" he asked, softening his grip and the look in his eyes so that she acquiesced and trailed after him back to the office, if not willingly, at least without her heels skidding on the floor.

She hopped on one leg in front of his desk, desperately trying to tug on the stretchy black Spandex to make herself decent, and if this moment hadn't been so long anticipated, dreaded even, in Castle's mind, and so grave, it would have been hysterically funny. The ever composed, gracious, elegant looking Kate Beckett, hopping on one foot with a pair of leggings dancing in front of her. Yeah, not so funny right now, the way she was glaring at him, daring him to smirk or fire out some pithy remark.

He reached for her elbow to steady her, but she shrugged him off. Planted her foot back on the floor and tried again, slower, more controlled this time, until she shimmied them all the way up her thighs and tugged his t-shirt down to cover her ass.

"You good?" he asked, gesturing to his office chair.

"Thanks, but I'll stand, if it's all the same to you," she bit out, crossing her arms over her stomach in _the_ most achingly familiar pose.

They could be back at the Precinct, he thought, lit only by the faint glow over the low-tech murder board; the one they had bonded over, fallen in love over, found, he hoped, an understanding over, learned to think as a unit…

Kate seemed to see something in his eyes just then, and whatever it was, it gave her pause. It was just a tiny thing, but he noticed it; the way she unclenched her fingers, even although her arms remained crossed, the tension in her body and in her posture, seemed to ease a little, and he took some small comfort from that, used it to steady his voice when he spoke.

* * *

"You asked what this is. I'm going to assume just for a second that your question wasn't rhetorical, even though I'm sure it's pretty obvious what this is just from looking at…"

"Castle," Kate interrupted, transferring her weight onto one hip as she glared at him, one eyebrow arched heavenward urging him to stop stalling.

"Right, right. So, uh…after," he coughed and cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry, "after you were shot," he said, his voice soft, eyes full of emotion.

"After you were shot," repeated, finding a stronger voice, "the boys and I, we…we kept working the case, trying to identify the sniper, trying to flesh out the links between your shooting, Montgomery's death and your mom's murder."

Kate watched him intently, and he felt real discomfort under her gaze for the first time he could ever remember. It felt as if this was some kind of a test, and he'd either pass and get to keep the girl, or fail and have to watch her walk off into the sunset without him. The pressure was immense.

"Go on," she nodded, and he swallowed.

"I thought I'd found the money trail to the guy who was paid to kill your mother. But we discovered that the bank the guys had been using for their ransom money had closed down, and, well, you know about the warehouse fire that destroyed the bank records. You spoke to Rod Halstead, the fire investigator, yourself, and so we hit a dead end."

"And?" she added impatiently.

"_And_ when Gates arrived, and kicked me out of the Precinct, I set this up at home to carry on working your case," he said, waving a hand in the direction of the screen. "I wanted to keep all the work that you had done over the years, all the bits and pieces of information we'd added together, safe, in one place, and away from Gates' eyes. You said it yourself, right before Montgomery's funeral, that no one outside of our immediate family was to know about Montgomery's involvement in any of this."

Kate looked at her feet, bit her lip, and dropped her head into one hand. When she raised it again, she was back on the attack.

"So why keep it from me? _Hmm_? Why _the_ _hell_ keep it from me, Castle?" she yelled, covering her mouth and turning away from him the moment the words volleyed out of her.

He ignored the yelling, didn't think he needed to point out that there were other people living in the same apartment for a second time, that his mother and daughter were just upstairs sleeping. She was too worked up to hear that again for it to have any impact other than to rile her up even more.

"Smith called me. Like I said the other day, the files Montgomery sent him to protect you were delayed in the mail. He only received them _after_ you were shot, otherwise…otherwise I like to believe that that whole horrifying event would never have happened. He warned me that the only way to keep you safe was to stop you working on the case. So I had to make you stop, Kate. If I had told you about the phone calls, if I'd shown you this, you know you'd only have run at it even harder. I'd already lost you once. I wasn't about to risk it again."

She flicked her eyes to him, and then looked off to the side again.

"So, why didn't _you_ _stop_? Why carry on poking around on your own? You're not a cop, or did you forget that part?" she asked, deliberately mocking him.

Kate watched him flinch, but carried on spitting venom anyway. She was hurting, she felt betrayed, and she needed to get it all out.

"_What_, was it _the story_, Rick? You were always about the story, weren't you? Did you just have to see how it would end?" she asked sarcastically.

"Wha…the _story?_" he asked in disbelief? "You _seriously_ think this was about _the_ _story_?"

"I don't know. You tell me? You seem to be the one holding all the cards."

Her voice was so cold, dripping in acid, that it threw him for a second, made him question just who was standing in front of him.

"Kate, you've got this _so_ wrong. _You_ were the one holding all the cards. Do you think I _wanted_ to keep this a secret from you? Do you think I _wanted_ the _burden_ of keeping you away from a thirteen-year crusade that you'd let _define_ your life? Do you think I wanted _Alexis _looking at me the way she did? Like I was some _pathetic, weak, pretend cop,_ throwing myself at danger on a mission to win the heart of the woman I loved, but who didn't love me back? She _pitied_ me. Do you know what that's like? _Hmm?_ To be _pitied _by your seventeen-year old daughter?"

Kate had the good grace to flinch when he mentioned Alexis. But she quickly recovered her composure.

"I was caught between a rock and hard place over this. You have to believe that, Kate. On the one hand I was being warned to make you drop this to save your life, and on the other hand there was _you_, telling me you'd never be the person you wanted to be or be able to have the kind of relationship you wanted unless you solved your mom's case. I'd been chipping away at your wall for three years, Kate, and I was no closer to being in the kind of relationship with you that _I _wanted. _I had no choice_."

"You could have walked away, listened to Alexis."

"I love my daughter, but she is still a child. A super smart kid, but still a kid, and she won't be around forever. Parents can't live their lives for their children. Besides, I was in too deep already. You were wound around my heart by then. So like I said, I had no choice."

"That was then, what about _now_?" she challenged, holding onto this, determined not to let go. "We promised no more secrets. Or have you forgotten that already?"

"_Now?_ _Now_ I thought we'd walked away from this nightmare for _good_. That it was over. What good would showing you this have done us? I thought we were making a life and putting all of this behind us. The reason that file was in my trash folder…I deleted it right before you arrived the other night. I thought we were finished, _over_, and I couldn't bear to look at the one thing that had come between us for a second longer. So, there it is. Now you know it all. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. But I only wanted to keep you safe."

He turned his back on her, paced away, and then turned back again.

"Kate, if nothing I've said means anything to you, please just ask yourself one question. What would you have done if it was _me?_ _Hmm?_ What if you'd been in my shoes, Kate? Would you have walked away? Or would you have tried to protect me the best you could, while trying to fix the one thing that was getting in the way of our happiness? You can stay mad at me for keeping this from you. But I hope you can see that my intentions were always good. Everything I did…I did it because I love you."

Kate sank back against the edge of the desk, her arms still crossed protectively over her chest.

Castle rubbed both hands down over his face. Dark circles smudged the tender skin beneath each eye.

"Look, it's getting on for five, and I'm exhausted. We have work to do tomorrow with Ryan. We're going to need clear heads. I'm going back to bed, and I'd like it if you would join me?" he said, holding out his hand to her.

Kate looked so sad, her eyes left his and slipped back towards the board. She made no move to take his hand or get up off the desk.

"That will still be there in the morning," he said, using the remote to turn off the large screen. "It's been there for thirteen years, Kate. It's not going anywhere tonight. Please, just come to bed with me?" he said, his tone exhausted, emotional and pleading.

She wavered for a second, her stubbornness holding her firm against the desk. But as soon as she saw Castle about to give up on her, his hand dropping to his side, his eyes sliding to the floor, she reached out to stop him.

He turned back towards her, held his fingers out again, and this time she came. She took his hand and dragged it round behind her so he could place it on the small of her back, and then she was on her tiptoes, her other arm wound tight around his neck, squeezing too forcefully, her face pressed into the crook of his neck, her body flush with his.

Castle exhaled for what seemed like the first time in nearly an hour.

"Kate, you have to trust me. You have to believe that everything I do is done out of love for you. There is _nothing_ I won't do to protect you, to keep you with me, and if that makes you a little crazy, then I'm sorry. But I'm not going to stop. Not ever," he whispered, quickly and desperately against her hair.

He pulled back to look at her, smoothing his fingers tenderly over her cheek bone, running his thumb under her eye.

"We're both exhausted and stressed. Come to bed. It'll look better in the morning. I promise," he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She nodded tiredly, took his hand, and followed him back to the bedroom.

* * *

They crawled in under the covers, settling in back to back. The room was so quiet, except for the tick of a clock, and they lay there in the dark, both coming back down from the fear and the angst and the arguing.

Finally Kate rolled over onto her other side, and molded her body around her partner's. She felt Castle's muscles relax as the warmth flowed between them. She slipped her arm around his stomach and splayed her fingers wide to hold him against her.

"I know how much you love me," she whispered. "Don't think for a second I don't see it everyday. I just need you to treat me like an equal, like a grown-up. Okay?"

He turned his head, found her dark eyes glinting at him.

"Okay," he whispered, too tired to take this any further tonight.

Kate kissed his shoulder, smoothed her fingers through his hair to soothe him.

"I'm sorry about your closet," she whispered, after a moment. "I'll help you put it back in the morning."

"You'll _help_ me? No, Kate. _Your_ mess. _You_ clean it up," he informed her, pushing her playfully away with his back.

"But I don't know where everything goes," she protested.

"So rearrange it. You're gonna need more space anyway. Take the opportunity to claim a shelf or two."

That seemed to shut her up.

"What did I do to deserve you?" she asked eventually, her lips brushing his ear.

Castle just shrugged. "Sleep, Kate."

"Night, Castle. I love you," she murmured, finally closing her eyes and falling into a fitful, dream-filled sleep.

_A/N: Thank you for your comments – they're really helpful. Some people begged for not too much angst. I hope this struck the right balance, and didn't end too sweetly. Tried not to keep you hanging too long either. I know how some people hate cliffhangers. And thanks for the virtual handholding! ;) Liv_


	34. Chapter 34 In The Cold Light Of Day

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 34 – In The Cold Light of Day_**

The alarm on Castle's phone rang at seven thirty, waking them both from a deep sleep. Just over a couple of hours had passed since they'd finally managed to drift off after their showdown over _that_ file in the early hours.

Kate groaned, shoving the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw stars, trying to force herself to wake up. She yawned loudly, and arched her back against the mattress, feeling her whole body protest, the last of her aching muscles and bruised soft tissue making itself known. Then she sank back, boneless and exhausted against the bed.

Castle coughed. His throat felt tight, sore and scratchy. He reached blindly for the glass of water on the nightstand, flexing his fingers until they hit the smooth coolness of the glass. He eased himself up on one elbow to take a stuttering sip that quickly turned into a gulp that turned into a choking, spluttering cough.

He still hadn't looked at Kate, hadn't touched her, hadn't even spoken to her, the events of a few hours ago still too near the surface. He felt her move across the bed to get closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his chest from behind, pressing her body up against his, and he had to fight an instinctual urge to shrink from her touch, or throw her off. Where the hell had that come from, he wondered? He didn't like these feelings at all.

Because this was Kate Beckett, trying her hardest to say sorry, he had to remind himself, and Kate Beckett didn't really _do_ sorry. So, whatever he felt, this was progress at least, and he should accept it graciously.

"Hey," he said weakly, trying to clear his raw throat.

"You okay?" asked Kate, smoothing her cool fingers over his forehead. "You're a little warm, Rick. Do you feel alright?"

"Throat's a bit sore. I was hoping I'd maybe just been sleeping with my mouth open, but if my temp's up..."

"Eww, nice," said Kate, making a face and tweaking his ear playfully.

"Can't be a sexy stud all the time. You'd get bored," he joked back, feeling the tension between them easing just a little.

"Bored? With you?" asked Kate, kissing the back of his neck. "No, and you're definitely warm," she murmured, peeling herself off him.

Castle rolled onto his back to look at her. He could see genuine care and concern in her eyes. All the vitriol and angry accusations from a few hours ago dissipated as if it had never even been there.

Kate brushed her fingers over his forehead, sweeping his hair out of the way, and he let his eyes fall closed while she touched him, wishing he could just forget about everything and go back to sleep. Hell, this was their first Saturday morning together, and they couldn't even enjoy staying in bed, since Ryan was due over sometime that morning.

"Why don't you get in the shower and I'll bring you a fresh glass of water and a couple of Tylenol?" Kate suggested.

Castle let his eyes roam her face, before meeting her gaze. Kate looked away quickly, a flash of embarrassment painting her cheeks.

"Can we just…?" Castle started to say, tugging on the front of her t-shirt to get her attention.

He looked so tired, worn out from the lack of sleep, worrying about where Maddox might be right now, and the fight that had rocked him to the core.

"I hate fighting with you, Kate," he confessed, toying with the sleeve of her t-shirt. "I'm so tired, and I want us to be about good things. I don't want us getting off on the wrong foot here. Fruit of the poison tree, and all that."

Kate looked worried, her eyes darting, clouding with something dark and serious.

"What are you saying?" she asked quietly. "Do you think…should I maybe go home? I mean I probably should, right? Alexis wanted me here to make you better and that's not happening. It's…not…I'm making things worse. This case, and Maddox, it's poisoning everything again," she said, a tear slipping down her face. "You're right. You're right. I should probably go."

Castle shook his head slowly, closing his eyes against a wave of dizziness.

"When are you _ever_ going to learn? Or listen to me?" he asked sharply, having to sit up to cough once the words rasped out of his throat.

Kate looked surprised at his barked remarks, still unused to seeing these rare flares of anger in her normally laid-back partner.

"I don't want you to go home. _Dammit_, Kate," he said, pressing his fingers against his eyes, trying to combat a growing headache. "I just don't want us to fight. Can we think first, and speak later, instead of beating one another up over this? We're a team, remember?"

If his eyes had been open, he would have seen the relief on Kate's face. She felt as if she was starting to screw this up, but instead of her natural urge to flee the scene, she knew that the only way to fix it was to stay close and work through it. But she was terrified of being where she wasn't wanted, and too used to just thinking for herself, without having to consider anyone else, let alone their feelings.

"Then I won't go home. Whatever you want. I'll do it," she said quietly. "I can be better. Think before I speak. Sure," she said, brushing her fingers across his now damp temple, and then easing herself out of bed.

She reached the door of the bedroom, and then she turned back.

"Rick, how about you forget the shower for now? Stay in bed and I'll bring you in some breakfast. Okay?"

When his eyes met hers he looked so utterly grateful for her simple, kind suggestion that Kate wondered just how badly he had been treated by his two ex-wives and numerous former girlfriends?

"Try to doze for a bit," she added. "Could you deal with some scrambled eggs on toast?"

"Just the eggs and I think maybe there's some smoked salmon in the refrigerator. Throat's too sore for toast," he added, scrunching up his face adorably.

Kate smiled at his expression, and bit back what might have been her natural choice of retort.

"Okay, baby," she said, teasing gently and rewarding him with a warm smile that reached all the way to her eyes. "Rest up. I won't be long."

"Kate?" he called after her.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. We'll get through this. Don't worry," he added, tugging the comforter up around his shoulders, already preparing to go back to sleep.

She nodded thoughtfully, and left him to rest.

* * *

Once out in the kitchen, Kate set about pulling breakfast together. She grabbed a box of eggs, the salmon he'd asked for, and a box of muesli for herself. She'd just begun cracking the eggs into a bowl when Martha descended the stairs wearing _the_ most fabulous, embroidered Chinese silk dressing gown and a pair of kitten heeled mules with a little puff of pale green marabou fur on the front.

"Good morning, my dear, good morning," she trilled, greeting Kate with the press of a kiss to her cheek.

Kate gave her a weak smile and squeezed her elbow in reply. "Morning, Martha. Sleep well?" she asked, out of pure polite habit.

"Actually, not so well," replied the older woman, pinging a silk eye mask off the back of her head.

To which Kate replied with a vague, "Oh," concentrating on fishing a tiny sliver of eggshell out of the glass bowl before she could begin whisking the eggs.

"No," Martha carried on deliberately, waiting for Kate to catch up and hear what she was saying. Waiting for the words to drift through her distracted state. "Someone was making a bit of a commotion last night," she added dramatically, waving a hand in the air as if it were nothing.

Still oblivious, Kate pressed her tongue against her teeth in concentration as she used one half of the eggshell to fish out its' tiny fragment of a sibling. "Commotion," repeated Kate dumbly, nodding as if she understood.

She suddenly straightened her spine as the words sank into her brain, and turned to look at the older woman who was standing with her hands on her hips smiling sympathetically at her. Kate's face flushed.

"Yes, dear. A commotion. You know the sort of thing. A raised voice here, a couple of thrown items there. Not the end of the world, but it did rouse me from my slumber."

Kate looked at her feet, and then pursed her lips.

"Martha, I am _so_ sorry. We…that is _I_…I mean Richard and I had a couple of issues to work through last night…and I'm sorry. Four in the morning wasn't really the time. Rick warned me I'd waken you. I'm _mortified_. Do you know if Alexis…I mean…?"

"She's still in her room, dear. So, I can't be certain. But since I'm usually the heavier sleeper of the two of us, I'm afraid there's a good possibility that she did."

"Oh god," groaned Kate, covering her face with her hand.

She looked stricken and embarrassed.

"Why don't you put that down and come and talk to me, hmm?" suggested Martha gently, taking the balloon whisk from Kate's hand and laying it down on the counter.

She took the younger woman by the shoulders and steered her round the island to sit on one of the stools.

Kate protested but Martha was having done of it.

"Rick's not feeling so good. I think he has a fever. I was going to take him breakfast in bed," she explained, trying to stand up once more to resume cooking.

"If he's as tired as I feel, darling, and he has man-flu on top of that, _trust me_, he will be sound asleep right now. Breakfast can wait, Kate. Let me get you some coffee and then we can talk."

Kate shrugged and gave in. There didn't seem to be anything else for it. Castle's mother was one tough cookie, and since Kate had already robbed her of her beauty sleep, she didn't want to upset her any further.

* * *

Once they were seated face-to-face, coffee cups in hand, Martha was the first one to break the awkward silence.

"So, how about you start by telling me what this fight was about," she suggested kindly. "I don't want to pry, but maybe I can help?"

Kate looked down at her lap. Her right leg was jiggling with built up tension and she was holding her coffee cup just a fraction too tightly.

"Kate, dear. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything," she encouraged. "I won't judge you, I promise, and I won't take sides. I know my son can be a handful to live with. God knows I've spent enough time under the same roof as him to know that," she said, waving her hand to indicate the loft. "But I thought you two were getting on so well."

"We _were_…_are_," said Kate hurriedly, wondering just how to explain this.

She could lie, and make something up about an old girlfriend or his habit of leaving the cap off the toothpaste? But somehow she knew that wouldn't wash. Not with Martha.

"It's the case," she said finally, exhaustion bleeding through into her voice.

She was still unsure how much Martha knew about any of it. Still, she'd been at the funeral when Kate had been shot, and she knew Castle confided in his mother from time-to-time.

"You and your mother's?" asked Martha sympathetically.

"Yes. We had dinner with the Ryans last night, and Kevin mentioned some fresh information."

"But that's good surely?"

"Not exactly. It involved the man who shot me killing someone else. Anyway, Rick ended up showing me this file he's been using to work on the case without my knowledge, and…well, that's what the fight was about."

Martha's "Oh, he showed you," and knowing nod told Kate all she needed to know about Castle's mother's level of awareness of the subject.

"You knew?"

"Yes. Now dear before you get upset, he just needed someone to talk to, and I happened to be there."

"It's fine, Martha, really," said Kate, covering the woman's hand with her own. "I'm glad he had you to talk to. Keeping secrets is a lonely pursuit," said Kate, speaking from past experience.

"Try not to be too hard on him, dear. My son, and I know one shouldn't boast about one's own children, but Richard has such a good and tender heart. But he feels things too deeply at times. It's both a strength, and a weakness. Always had been, even since he was a little boy," said Martha, her eyes glazing over with some long forgotten reminiscence.

"He was only trying to do what he thought was best for you, my darling. He has struggled so hard with all of this. For a long time now. I've never seen him quite so…_invested _in anything before. Except maybe with Alexis."

"I'm beginning to see that," said Kate, patting Martha's hand.

"When you were shot, he was devastated, Kate. He blamed himself, and nothing I or anyone else said seemed to help. I know he missed you terribly, and so he threw himself into trying to solve the case. I think it was his one connection to you while you were away recovering."

Kate looked down at her hands again, feeling, not for the first time, terribly ashamed of how she'd shut her partner and her friends out of her life over that period. Martha seemed to sense her guilt, and changed tack to drew her back out of herself.

"So, you yelled, and trust me when I say that I'm not averse to a little yelling myself. It's good exercise for the vocal cords if nothing else. And you threw a few…?" she prompted Kate with a nod of her head and a flash of raised eyebrows.

"Shoes," admitted Kate, pinking up, and hanging her head in shame.

"Oh good girl," said Martha, looking delighted with Kate as she clapped her hands. "Richards shoes I hope?"

"Yes," Kate laughed at Martha's reaction. "But that's…it's not good, Martha. I don't _do_…_that_."

"Kate, you're living with a lot of change, both of you, and with the case, that's a lot of added stress. And can I remind you that most women do not have to cope with moving in with their partner's mother and teenage daughter as soon as they get together. So give yourself some time. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get everything right all the time. You're in love, feelings are running high, sometimes things get a little crazy, darling," she added, waving both hands around this time.

"So you threw a few shoes, who hasn't? At least they didn't end up in out Broome Street. Richard should think himself lucky. That's what I did to one of my paramours," she confessed sotto voce, before adding, "but that's a story for another day."

Kate couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, but bizarrely, the pep talk had made her feel slightly better.

"You know, you've actually cheered me up a little, Martha," she confessed, smiling at her partner's mother. "Now, I should really get breakfast ready. Ryan's coming over this morning, and I think it's going to be a struggle to get Rick into the shower and ready before he gets here as it is. So I should…"

Kate jerked her head in the direction of the kitchen.

"Darling, I'm pleased I could help. Promise you'll talk to me any time you feel the need to offload?"

"Thanks, Martha. I will. I promise."

"We girls have to stick together, you know," she added, giving Kate a quick hug. "Now, I think it's time I dragged myself off to the shower. Alexis and I are going shopping this morning. So we will be out of your way when Ryan arrives."

"Thank you, Martha. For everything."

"Nonsense, kiddo. Thank _you_. You make my son happier than I've ever seen him. And that is more than enough thanks for me. Good luck today, Kate. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

And with that, Castle's mother was gone, disappeared back upstairs in a cloud of wafting silk, bright red hair, and a lingering trace of lavender.

* * *

Ten minutes later, when Kate edged her way through the door into Castle's bedroom with his breakfast tray, he was sleeping soundly. He had the comforter pulled up around her ears, and was lying on his side with one hand tucked beneath is chin. Kate had to fight the urge to grab her phone and take a photograph before he moved or woke up, he look so adorable.

She stood quietly by his side watching him for a moment, wondering how on earth they had thrown such angry words at one another, until his eyes blinked open and he peered at her, shrinking back under the covers against the pervasive daylight streaming into the bedroom.

"Hey," she said softly, carding her fingers through the damp hair sticking to his forehead.

"Mmm, Kate," he mumbled. "Were you watching me?"

"Maybe," said Kate, hiding her smile behind her hand.

"S'creepy, Beckett," he said, sounding a little delirious.

"Yeah? Well, now you know how it feels, sport. Come on, let's get you up," she said, grabbing the pillows from her side of the bed to prop up behind him.

Castle brushed her ribcage and the side of her breast with his fingers as she leant over him to reach for the pillows, a little bad boy smirk lighting up his face.

Kate froze above him, and then pulled back to look at his cheeky grin.

"Okay, you're really not _that_ sick if you're first thought was to grope me," she said, with her hands on her hips.

"_Aww_, Kate," he protested, as she placed the tray on his lap and went to leave the room.

"Aww, Kate, _what?_" she asked, leaning on the bathroom doorframe to look at him.

"Don't leave me?"

"I'm going to take a shower, Rick. Not emigrate."

"But it's after nine. You've been gone for ages. Come on, sit with me and tell me what you've been up to," he pleaded, patting the space next to him on the bed, his face contorted into that adorable, little boy thing again.

Kate sighed, and thought about Martha's remarks – her son's tender heart, his struggle to keep this secret from her, how much she meant to him, second only to Alexis it would appear. And she found she couldn't say no to his request. What would it hurt to keep him company while he ate?

"Okay," she said, coming to sit by his side. "So, I went to make you breakfast, and I was waylaid by your mother."

Castle gasped. "Oh god, whatever she said Kate, I'm sorry. Can I just say that right up front?"

"Shhh," said Kate, laughing at his panicked expression. "It was fine. Good actually. We talked, and she didn't even seem to mind that much that I woke her up with my yelling and other bad behavior last night."

Castle's eyes grew large and he dropped a piece of salmon from his fork.

Kate nodded at him. "Yup. Seems she heard some of that. But she was really great, actually. She gave me some good advice. I really like you mother, Castle. And she did a great job with you."

"Well, I don't know about that. You _do_ know I practically raised myself?" he protested.

Kate laughed. "Whatever you want to tell yourself, Rick. You two are too alike for her not to have influenced you a lot. And don't look at me like that. Your mother is a wise woman, and we're both lucky to have her here to help."

"If she made you happier, Kate, then I'm not complaining. And you do look happier," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mmm. And I _am_ sorry…" she started to say.

"Kate. We've already talked about this. We'll talk, and think before we react, and try not to yell. But this is real, you and me. Real life, Kate. And so far, I don't think we're doing that bad a job, all things considered," said Castle, before break off into a coughing fit.

"Here, I brought you these," said Kate, handing him the little bottle of Tylenol. "How's your head?" she asked, leaning in to press her palm to his forehead.

"Better when you touch it like that. Your hands are so cool."

"You definitely have a fever. You sure you're up to having Ryan over. I could get him to come tomorrow or go and meet him myself."

Castle sat up abruptly, making his head spin.

"_No!_" he said, just a little too sharply. "No, I'll…I'll be fine. A shower, these pills, and more touching and I'll be fine," he said, his panic subsiding when Kate nodded her agreement.

"Okay. If you're sure? You're nearly done here. So, I think I'll go and shower now, just in case he gets here earlier than we expect."

Castle caught her hand before she could get up off the bed. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

Kate frowned, unsure what he meant.

"For sticking around, for breakfast, for taking care of me, and for letting my crazy mother mother you. I think she always wanted a daughter," he admitted, toying with Kate's fingers. "What I mean is, I know how hard this is for you. You like your own space, quiet time to be by yourself, and you've been thrust into this craziness here – with my mom, my daughter, and _me_ – you're handling it really well, Kate. And I just needed you to know that I know, and I am _so_ grateful to you for being here."

"Castle…" Kate bit her lip. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Then don't say anything. I just needed you to know. Okay?" he said softly, releasing her hand.

Kate nodded. "You might change your mind once I rearrange your closet," she replied jovially, trying to lighten the moment for both of them.

"No," Castle shook his head. "Making space to fit you into my life, that's my new favorite hobby, Kate. Second only to you watching _you_ _claim_ space in my life."

Kate stared at her partner, completely robbed of words. She shook her head slowly, and rose from the bed in a daze, wondering why it had taken her so long to allow this man into her heart.

_A/N: I'm so relieved. Thanks for your comments. Most everyone seemed to think the last chapter hit the right balance of angst and sweetness. Thought a little Martha might lighten things for a bit, before we see Ryan again. Liv._


	35. Chapter 35 So Many Questions

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 35 – So Many Questions_**

"He's here," said Kate, grasping the arm of the chair just a little too tightly when Castle's front door buzzer sounded. Her knuckles were white, her face a little frozen, eyes betraying something like panic.

They had been sitting in Castle's office staring at the murder board – Kate behind his desk with her notepad in front of her, knees drawn up to her chin, the writer lying on the leather couch nearby, his feet tucked under a blanket and his head resting on a pillow – a semblance of their old positions at the One-Two, even although this was still technically Castle's office, and he wasn't usually to be found prone at the Precinct.

They'd reached a détente over the murder board while brushing their teeth that morning, side-by-side over his Jack and Jill vanity, agreeing that it had hurt Castle as much to hide it from her, as it had for Kate to find out about it nearly a year later.

So now they were studying it as if…well, yeah, their lives depended upon it.

* * *

"Kate, relax. It's only Ryan," said Castle, getting up from the couch stiffly to follow her to the loft's front door. He walked soundlessly on socked feet, his joints and the tender surface of his skin aching with every step.

"It's Ryan, _here_," she corrected, walking backwards and nodding at him with wide eyes and her palms upturned as if he should immediately understand the importance of her statement.

"_What_? At the _loft_? He's been here before," said Castle, not grasping her point quickly enough through his fever-fogged brain.

"_Yes_. But not since we've been…oh _forget it_," said Kate, shaking him off and heading for the door.

"No. No, sorry. Kate you're right. I'm…I'm just a little slow this morning. So, one of our friends is coming over and now we're officially together…that…that's important, _right?_" he asked, relieved he'd finally caught up with her thought process, he hoped.

"Yup. Kinda hoped you'd have gotten there a little quicker than that. But, better late than never," grumbled Kate, a little flustered and embarrassed at having revealed that this was in any way significant to her.

"Don't. I'm an idiot, and you're being really…_really_, too cute," he said, pulling her up against his chest.

Kate shook him off and continued towards the front door.

"Eww, Castle, germs," she complained, reaching for the lock.

"We slept together last night, remember?" he called across the living room as he headed towards the kitchen to start the coffee. "We had sex, Kate. So, whatever this is that I've got, you've already been exposed," he yelled, breaking into a coughing fit, as the door to the loft swung open and a startled looking Kevin Ryan hovered uncomfortably on the threshold looking down at his feet.

Kate only had to take one look at the Irish Detective's face to know.

"You heard all of that, didn't you?" she asked, turning to throw a glare over her shoulder at Castle, her hands on her hips.

Ryan nodded and attempted a smile.

"Come in," said Kate, giving him a brief one-armed hug. "Welcome to the madhouse," she added, rolling her eyes, and then ushering him towards the kitchen area.

"Hey, my man," said Castle, holding out his hand to Ryan.

"Careful, he has some kind of bug," said Kate, wrinkling her nose in her boyfriend's direction.

"We were up at four this morning," complained Castle. "_Someone_ couldn't sleep," he added, turning to stare meaningfully at Kate, "and I wasn't _wearing_ enough and now…"

"Whoa," said Ryan hurriedly, shaking his head and making to cover his ears. "TMI, man. T.M.I.."

"What? _No! _ I mean I had _bare_ feet and _no _shirt on," corrected Castle.

Kate smirked at the memory of Castle pulling on a t-shirt and handing her a pair of leggings, right in the middle of their biggest ever fight, and _still_ he managed to catch a cold.

"I don't need to hear about your state of undress, man," repeated Ryan, unnerved to be in the writer's kitchen talking about this with his...his…was Kate still his boss?

Hmm. This was too weird.

"He's being a big baby," said Kate dryly, pulling mugs and glasses out of the cabinets, and then snatching the filter from Castle's hands to start setting up the coffee machine.

Ryan watched her with a look of amusement on his face while she flitted expertly around the writer's kitchen as if it were her own. She bumped a drawer closed with her hip after fetching a teaspoon, and then spun towards the sink without pausing.

"He's been complaining all morning about…" continued Kate, until she saw Ryan's expression, and then she looked at Castle, who was also watching her with a look of pride or affection on his face. He was so flushed from the fever she couldn't tell which.

"What I do?" asked Kate warily, looking to both men for an answer.

"Nothing," chirped Ryan, still looking amused.

Kate leveled him with her best Beckett glare.

"You…you just look at home here," he muttered, wishing already that he'd made something up instead of blurting out the truth.

Kate looked embarrassed until she saw Castle smiling at her with such pleasure on his face that it sucked the air out of her lungs.

"I…uh, well, _thank you_, I think?" she answered slowly, frowning, her eyes never leaving her partner's, still unsure how she felt about Ryan's comment.

"So…did you get copies of the files we needed?" she added, quickly changing the subject.

Her movements suddenly felt jerky and awkward now that she knew both men were watching her.

"Got the initial crime scene report and the DD5 from Detective Howard. The canvas threw up nothing, wouldn't you know. All deaf, dumb and blind on the Upper East Side. I'm waiting on an update regarding security footage near this guy's building, and they're going to subpoena the footage from the apartment building itself. Howard's agreed to let us see any relevant material they manage to recover on the quiet."

Kate gave him a surprised look.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. But turns out this guy's got a pretty full caseload, Beckett. Seems upscale neighborhoods generate more crime during a global recession. Slew of suicides, mariticides, and life insurance related deaths when the market tanked and the bonuses dried up. One minute you're buying bottles of Cristal like they're going out of fashion then suddenly you can't afford to pay the assessment the co-op board just levied to update the ten-year old central air."

Kate looked at Castle, and he rolled his eyes at her, for once the pair of them in sink over Ryan's rambling.

"Lanie said she'd bring over a copy of the autopsy report later, if that's okay with you?" he added, looking from Beckett to Castle and back again. Confused as to which of them might be in charge here.

"Fine," they said simultaneously, and Ryan mouthed the word 'awesome' to himself, wishing Esposito were here to witness this – mom and dad so eerily in sink that it made he and Jenny look like relative strangers.

"Why don't we…" suggested Kate, gesturing reflexively towards Castle's office. "Sorry, only if that's okay with you Rick?" she added, realizing too late that Castle might want to keep his writing sanctuary private and use the living room instead.

"No. No, please. Go right ahead. I'm just gonna grab some more cold meds."

He took Kate aside, holding her loosely by the elbow while she cradled a tray of coffees, and added quietly. "You know you don't have to ask, Kate."

"I just, I thought…it's where you write," she explained, with a shrug.

"It's where I work, on whatever that might be. So, much as I appreciate your respect for the inner sanctum," he teased, "really, Kate, I want you to use whatever you need here, love."

Kate nodded silently, grateful for Castle's unswerving generosity.

"Why don't you help Ryan get setup in there," suggested Castle. " Go ahead. I'll be right in," he encouraged, sensing that she was holding herself back a little, reluctant perhaps to dive down that rabbit hole again. "It's going to be okay," he added, gently squeezing her elbow in reassurance.

* * *

Ryan stood outside Castle's office admiring some of the books in the writer's open bookshelves.

"Practical Homicide Investigation by Vernon J. Geberth," he whistled. "Boy does that bring back some memories."

"Mmm hmm," hummed Kate in agreement, letting her fingers trip over the spine of the hardback. "Academy…and then more than a few all nighters spent being quizzed by Royce before the Detective's exam. Horrible," she added, shaking her head at the memory.

"Is this…?" asked Ryan, pointing to the manual.

"No. That's Castle's copy," she replied, anticipating his question. "He's nothing if not thorough."

"Remember?" said Ryan, grinning. "The five components of practical homicide investigation," he parroted from memory. "Teamwork, documentation, preservation…"

"Common sense and flexibility," added Kate, joining Ryan in his reminiscence. "Yeah, I think I recited those in my sleep for months," Kate laughed, ushering Ryan into Castle's office.

The electronic murder board was still illuminated just as they'd left it. Ryan stopped inside the door and stared at the screen, taking in the familiar information, looking at the photographs, and skimming his eyes over the layout, the questions, the framework for this terrible puzzle.

Eventually he turned to Kate, who was busy closing the door to Castle's bedroom, having spotted the train wreck that was their unmade bed staring out at her. Something that Ryan _really_ didn't need to see.

"Did you guys…? Because _that_ is detailed," he whistled, gesturing towards the board.

Kate shook her head, and was pleased that she could talk about it now with only residual feelings of regret.

"It's all Castle's work. He uh…when I came back to the Precinct after my summer away, he persuaded me not to pick up the case right away. Turns out he'd been warned to keep me away from it by this Smith guy. The one he thinks might be Maddox' latest victim. Anyway, he went on working the case by himself."

"He did all of that behind our backs?" asked Ryan.

"Yes, Kevin, I did," said the deep, masculine voice of Richard Castle from the doorway of his office, his eyes slightly heavy with the cold and a wariness that came from not wanting to upset Kate again.

"But Javi and I could have helped you," protested Ryan.

"No. No, don't you see. That was the whole point. The less people knew about those phone calls and Montgomery's failsafe for protecting Kate the better. If I'd told you about Smith your instinct would have been to try to find him, to uncover who he really was, and I'm sorry if this sounds bad Ryan, but I couldn't trust you guys not to share that information with Kate. She was my primary concern here. If this was the only way to protect her, to keep her safe…I…I just had to do what I had to do," he shrugged.

Castle looked over at Kate and mouthed the word 'sorry'. He knew how independent she was and how much all of this rankled with her, especially if his efforts to protect her made her look weak in front of her colleague.

"We would have kept your secret, bro," argued Ryan.

Kate raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed over her chest, and looked from Castle to Ryan.

"Secrets don't make friends," said Castle. "I'm sorry. But that's just the way it had to be," he said, resignedly. "For Kate's sake," he repeated for emphasis.

"And you're okay with this?" asked Ryan, surprised that Kate wasn't protesting Castle's assertion since she was typically so fiercely independent.

"I wasn't at first, no. Until Rick explained why…why he did what he did," said Kate, briefly shifting a fond gaze to Castle.

A look passed between them that Ryan couldn't decipher, and it seemed so personal that he forced himself to look away.

"None of this is palatable, Ryan. But we've just got to work with what we've got, with where we are now," counseled Kate.

Ryan shrugged and looked back at the board. At the photographs of Johanna Beckett, Joe Pulgatti, Bob Armen, Hal Lockwood, John Ragland, Gary McCallister, and their own dear Captain, Roy Montgomery. The central question - who hired the sniper – lingered, unanswered, beneath Kate's photograph, and the three stared at the board in silence for several seconds, lost in thought.

* * *

"So, what more do we know?" asked Ryan, setting a small stack of files down on Castle's desk. "Let's run through it."

Kate took the desk chair, while Castle and Ryan sat side-by-side on the small leather couch, sipping coffee.

"Well, we know that whoever hired the sniper to take me out was unaware of the information Montgomery had against him. And once he received it, that information was incriminating enough to keep things quiet for the better part of a year," said Kate, doodling on the notepad in front of her.

"So, it has to be something pretty damning," interjected Castle. "Something that would threaten the status of someone in a position of power, either in business or public office possibly? Someone high profile enough that if this information leaked out it would threaten their career or their very existence," he theorized.

"We know that whoever's behind all of this hired Orlando Costas to clean up for him at the Montgomery place, and then he got himself rubbed out," said Ryan.

"But why would they think that there was more evidence at Montgomery's place? He's been dead a year. Evelyn could have burned or…or shredded any remaining paperwork in that time," said Castle.

"Yes, and that's why it wasn't a what but a whom they were looking for," reiterated Kate for Castle's benefit. "When Javi and I found the Montgomery's wedding album in Maddox' hotel room, the faces of several people had been crossed out, including Raglan, McCallister, and Montgomery. All dead. But there was also one photograph missing, a blank space, and if we can just determine who was in that photograph, I think it could lead us to this deep throat character – Montgomery's trusted friend – the guy he sent the files to, this Mr. Smith who's been controlling my access to the case through Rick for the past year."

"What could Montgomery possibly have known about who hired Lockwood and Coonan?" mused Castle. "And about this power-player orchestrating everything from the top? He was just a Precinct Captain."

"We had no idea what Montgomery and his cronies were into all those years ago," Ryan pointed out. "Would _you_ have picked him for being caught up in that business with Pulgatti and Armen, for the cover-ups, the Mafia kidnappings, the ransoms? He was our Captain, but there are days when I think I didn't know him at all."

"Don't say that. He was a _good _man," said Kate, defending their dead boss. "He _made_ a mistake, as a rookie, yes, but he spent the rest of his career making up for it. If I can forgive him, then so can you. He gave his life for me, Kevin. Rebecca and Mary lost a father. Evelyn lost her husband," Kate pointed out.

"I just wish he had spoken up sooner, instead of leaving us with all these…these blanks, all these questions, second guessing what he knew and what he didn't know," said Ryan, his frustration bubbling over.

"So we focus on what we _do_ know, and then we figure out the rest," said Castle, trying to be the voice of reason for once. "I wish Lanie would get here already," he sighed, falling back against the couch.

"Why? Your fever getting worse?" asked Kate, leaning over to press a cool hand to Castle's forehead.

"No. We need that ballistics report, and we need to find out if anybody I.D.'d the body yet."

"The bullet wasn't recovered in the initial sweep," said Ryan, reading off the initial crime scene report.

"He was shot at point blank range, through the head, in his apartment. You said the back of his scull was shattered…so through-and-through?" surmised Castle.

"Or it ricocheted around in there, slowly taking his brain apart," suggested Ryan gruesomely.

"But the exit wound," said Kate. "The bullet would have had to make it's way out pretty quickly in order for it to maintain enough velocity to shatter the back of his skull."

"_So?_" asked Ryan.

"_So_…that bullet has to be close by. Somewhere in that room – lodged in a wall, or the baseboard, a picture frame, _something_. What are these guys playing at?" asked Kate, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"This isn't our case, Beckett. Everything we've got from Howard is a favor to Karpowski. We can't push on this or he could shut us down."

"But you said he's overloaded, right? And the reason he passed that intel onto Karpowski is the link to the fingerprint _we_ retrieved from the album in the Rosslyn Hotel?"

"Yeah" acknowledged Ryan cagily, unsure where Kate was taking this line of thought.

"So, what if we persuade Gates to ask his Captain to take over the case? We _were_ looking for this guy first after all. _He_ gets to clear one off the board at a stroke, and we get full access to the crime scene, instead of just looking at a bunch of photographs and second-hand information."

"Only one problem with that," said Ryan.

"What?" snapped Kate, unwilling to let it go that easily.

"You're eh…not a cop anymore, Beckett," he reminded her gently.

Kate's eyes snapped to Castle's, seeking an answer to a question she wasn't ready to voice just yet, at least not in front of Ryan. Her partner looked at her for a long moment and then nodded slowly.

"What if I could fix that?" she started to say, her pulse quickening. "Or even if I can't, you could ask Gates. It's a long shot, but it might just work. Castle and I could help you from behind the scenes if I can't get reinstated."

Castle's mind was spinning. He wanted to help Kate, needed to do whatever he could to support her, but everything was happening so fast and his head was aching with all of it, thoughts coming too fast for him to deal with.

"Wait. Going back to the bullet for a second. What if…" Castle started to say, wiping a hand across his mouth with the dawning of a not so great possibility.

"Yes?" prompted Kate eagerly, hoping her partner had something.

"This guy, this Maddox or whatever his real name is, he's highly trained, right? Ex-military even? Kate you said so yourself. The way he got the drop on you and Espo. So what if he cleaned up after himself?" he suggested, his point greeted by thoughtful silence for a moment by both detectives.

"What? You think he took the bullet with him?" asked Ryan.

"Well, yeah. That'd been one way to stop us identifying the gun he used. Leave us with no ballistics evidence. Dig it out of the wall or whatever, and suddenly there's no trace."

Kate sighed. "Shit. If that's the case this just got a whole lot harder."

"What about the missing photograph?" asked Castle, turning to address Kate. "You said there was a blank space in the album, right?"

"Yeah, one of the photographs had been torn out."

"So, what if we were to visit Evelyn," Castle suggested. "Maybe she knows who was in the missing shot."

Kate looked at Castle intently for a second, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What?" he asked, flicking his eyes from Kate to Ryan and back, wondering if he's said something inanely stupid and had missed it somehow.

Kate stood up from behind his desk and leaned down to press a quick kiss to his warm forehead and then she patted his cheek affectionately.

"You might have a fever, Richard Castle, but that suggestion might just be inspired."

Castle smiled at her spontaneous gesture, while Ryan pretended to busy himself with Detective Howard's DD5. He captured her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"We can do this Kate," he said quietly, his enthusiasm at being back working together overriding the last twelve months of caution.

"If we're going to do this, then we do it carefully," warned Kate, in a sudden reversal of roles. "We don't run at this hard. I…I don't want to find out who's behind all of this, if it means…" she drifted off, and looked down at Ryan, who shifted uncomfortably.

Castle prompted her to continue with another squeeze of her hand.

"If it means that we lose what we have," she said, squeezing back, then she turned to look at Ryan. "And I mean all of us. Ryan, do you hear me?"

Ryan nodded, acknowledging her point, just as the buzzer sounded at the front door.

_A/N: Okay guys. This one was getting loooong. So I'm pausing the action here. Wonder who's at the door? ;) Thanks for continuing to read and review. You make my day._


	36. Chapter 36 Lanie Parish For The UN

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 36 – Lanie Parish for the UN_**

Castle got up from the couch in his office just as Kate rose from the chair behind his desk, both of them responding to the clamor of the buzzer at the front door.

"You stay. I've got this," said Kate, pressing her fingers to Castle's shoulder, and then allowing them to trail down the outside of his arm as she stepped around him.

"Unless…?" she hesitated.

A trace of uncertainty flickered across her face as she suddenly wondered what she was doing, if she was overstepping, in Castle's home, greeting visitors as if she owned the place. What was she…?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe you should…" she said, gesturing towards the door as Ryan watched the pair of them figure this out.

"Kate," said Castle gently, catching her fingers and toying with them. "Door's not going to answer itself," he teased, pressing his hand against the small of her back, propelling her out of the office.

"Right. _Right_," she said, her face brightening into a smile. "I'll just…" she added, tilting her head in the direction of the hallway, blushing with pleasure.

* * *

When Kate left the room, Castle sprawled back against the dark brown leather, pillowing his hands behind his head, long legs spread out in front of him.

"You okay?" asked Ryan, as he watched the writer close his eyes on a long exhale.

"Mmm. It's…it's been an interesting few days," he replied honestly, nodding to himself as a series of very personal, cherished images passed through his mind. "We're still…we're finding our way," he admitted. "And this didn't help," he added, gesturing towards the murder board.

"You could have trusted us, man. We've been looking out for each other since before you arrived, remember?" Ryan reminded him a little defensively.

"I know. I know and I'm sorry. Just…just the thought of anything happening to her, and it's…it's like I lose all reason, all perspective, you know?" Castle confessed, dropping his head into his hands.

"You really think we can do this?" asked Ryan, waving his hand at the board.

"I'm starting to think that it's not _if_ we can do it, but that we don't have any choice. Either we get to them first or they get to us…_to her_," he added, looking in the general direction of the front door. "I'm terrified that they won't stop until they've put her in the ground, Kevin," said Castle gravely, scrubbing his hands across his face. "And I just can't…" he trailed off, shaking his head, fighting back the images – of green grass, her red blood, skin as pale as ivory. "I just can't let that happen."

"Then we pull together, all of us, and we finish this thing once and for all," said Ryan determinedly.

"You're a good man, Ryan," said Castle, clapping the detective's knee in a manly show of thanks. "A really good guy."

"Hey, you're not so bad either," said Ryan, nudging Castle's arm, "for a millionaire crime writer."

* * *

Kate reached the front door and flicked the lock open, having spoken to the doorman and ascertained that Lanie was downstairs.

She waited by the door for the elevator to arrive, and then wandered back to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee, feeling restless, bubbling over with pent up energy and nervous tension.

By the time she got back, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. But two sets of feet and two voices filled the hallway. Kate recognized them both in an instant, but poked her head out just to make sure she wasn't hearing things.

"Lanie, Javi," she said, her voice rising in surprise as she cast a quick glance back over her shoulder into the loft.

"Hey, honey," said Lanie, giving Kate a warm hug. "I found this one mooching around outside my morgue, so I said he could tag along. I hope you don't mind?" she added, suddenly taking in Kate's slightly uneasy expression.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," said Kate with a tight smile, ushering them both into the loft.

"Where's writer boy?" asked Lanie, looking around the living area. "Oh, don't tell me you've got the poor man tied to the bed, Kate?" she teased, with a wicked grin on her face.

"_Lanie!_" exclaimed Kate, glaring at a smirking Esposito. "And _you _can stop smiling like that. Lanie's told me plenty about you that I'm sure you wouldn't want spread around the Precinct," she threatened.

"Well, then it's a good job you won't be hanging around the Precinct anymore," replied Esposito, flashing Kate a smug grin.

Right. _So_ not going there right now.

"Eh…do you guys want coffee?" asked Kate, playing for time while she figured out how to break the news that Ryan was in the office with Castle.

"I'll give you a hand," said Lanie, just a little too eagerly.

"Sure," said Kate. "Javi, why don't you sit down over there, and…and we'll be right back."

* * *

Kate propelled Lanie towards the kitchen ahead of her while Esposito took a seat on the couch.

"Is this a setup?" she hissed. "You brought him here on purpose, didn't you?"

"Honey, I don't know what you're talking about," drawled Lanie, trying to school her features into a picture of innocence and failing miserably.

"You _knew_ Ryan would _be_ here. He asked you to bring that autopsy report over. So…so _what?_ You thought you could just throw them together _and_…?"

Kate turned her palms face up, waiting on an explanation.

"Well, I had to do somethin'. He's been moping around all week, looking all kinds of pitiful. _And,_" she beckoned Kate closer, leaning in to whisper, "_you _might be swinging from Castle's chandeliers, but until he gets his mojo back, I ain't getting any."

"Oh, and we can't have that," said Kate sarcastically.

Lanie put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips at Kate.

"_Fine_," said Kate in exasperation. "What's the plan?"

"Plans are your thing, honey. I got them both here. I was kind of hoping you could…"

"_Lanie!_" said Kate, rubbing a hand across her forehead, needing time to think, when suddenly Castle appeared out of the office.

"Kate, who was at the…door?" he trailed off, catching sight of Esposito sitting on his sofa and Lanie shimmying her butt up onto a stool in his kitchen.

"Kate?" he repeated, the question in his voice.

Kate came round the island to meet him in the center of the living room. She took his elbow and steered him towards to hall.

"Rick, a word," she said, as Lanie flashed him a big cheesy 'hello' from the kitchen.

"_Well?_" he asked, once they were (relatively) alone.

"Look I'm as surprised as you are. And before you say anything, I had _nothing_ to do with this," she whispered.

Castle looked relieved, and then a little panicked.

"So, what are we going to do?" he asked her, glancing back over his shoulder at their friends.

"Why does everyone keep asking _me_ that?" hissed Kate, pacing away and then back again, tucking her hair distractedly behind her ear.

"Because my girlfriend is _the_ smartest, kindest, most cunning person I know," teased Castle. "And we need a plan. Like_, right now_. Ryan's going to get suspicious if I don't go back in there, _with you_, in the next thirty seconds."

"I know. I know. Just…just give me a minute, okay?" said Kate, pacing some more to give herself time to think.

"Honey, that's thirty seconds more than we…"

"Don't _honey me_ right now, Castle," snapped Kate, immediately shooting him an apologetic look when she saw his wounded puppy face. "Jeez, look at us. _They_ did this and _we're_ the ones fighting. How the hell did that happen?"

"You snapped at me, Kate. We're not fighting. When we're fighting you'll know all about it. I'll be the guy in the corner crying like a baby."

"Don't. You're trying to make me laugh and it's…"

"Adorable? Sweet? Thoughtful? Oh…oh, I know - _funny?_"

"_Distracting_," said Kate, dryly, an indulgent smile now gracing her lips.

"Well, at least I can still be distracting at times of crisis. Silver lining, right?"

"You can be distracting…oh never mind," she added, a blush shooting up her neck to warm her cheeks.

"No. No, carry on, Kate. What were you going to say? I can be distracting…fill in the blank," cajoled Castle, catching hold of her wrist and grinning.

"Your thirty seconds are up, writer boy," said Kate, shaking him off with a shove to his chest. "We need a plan. You can, uh…_distract_ me later," she promised.

"A plan. Like something crazy? _Something_…"

"_Immediate_," said Kate, staring over Castle's shoulder in the direction of the office where Kevin Ryan had just emerged into the doorway looking bewildered, as if he suspected he might be the last man on earth.

Until…

"Shit," said Castle, turning round to face the same direction, his eyes widening as he stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Kate, taking in the scene as if it was spooling out in slow mo.

"Javi?" they heard Ryan say, a painfully soft hope in his voice.

Esposito was sitting on the couch watching something funny on Castle's DVR, if the amused look on his face was anything to go by.

Until…

His head whipped to the side, and he caught sight of Ryan standing in the office doorway, his look of surprise immediately morphing into something harder, something guarded. Then he turned back towards the kitchen and saw the soft apology written all over Lanie's face, along with her guilt and contrition. A further rotate took his line of sight towards Kate and Castle, both standing near the front door as if poised for escape. Kate's fingers slipped down Castle's forearm to encircle his wrist while he curled his own fingers upwards, seeking out his partner's touch.

"You were all in on this?" hissed Esposito, standing up from the leather couch and giving all three a death glare. "This…this little _intervention?_" he spit out, steadfastly ignoring Ryan.

"No, honey," rang out Lanie's clear voice. "This was all my idea. So don't blame them."

"Woman are you _mad_?" he asked, rounding all his anger on the M.E.. "You _know_ how I feel about him," he said, jabbing a finger in Ryan's direction but determinedly not looking at him.

"I know that he's your partner and…"

Esposito cut her off abruptly.

"You know _nothing_, woman. _He's_ not my partner. _That guy_ is _gone_. Or weren't you listening to anything I said?"

Lanie's eyes were beseeching, all her sass and fierceness dissolved in the face of Esposito's pain and stupid male pride.

"Baby," she said softly, pleadingly, and Kate had to look away, too embarrassed for her girlfriend to watch her reduced to this.

Castle stirred by her side, his free hand snaking round her back to hold onto her side, drawing them closer together as if this – being literally joined at the hip – could protect them from the private pain they were witnessing.

"You _betrayed me_, Lanie. Bad as he did," said Esposito, pointing his finger in Ryan's direction again.

"_Javier?_" she begged plaintively, tears glinting in her eyes as he turned to stride away, but only after throwing her the dirtiest of looks.

* * *

Kate squeezed Castle's fingers, then let go of his hand and stepped forward, finally deciding to put a stop to this little drama before it got anymore out of hand.

"Okay. That's quite enough," said Kate, _loudly_, her commanding voice filling the entire ground floor of the loft, making Esposito pull up short in his little war dance away from his on-again-off-again girlfriend.

You could have heard a pin drop.

"_You_," she said, pointing at Esposito, "dining table. Sit. And _you_," she added, rounding on a stunned Kevin Ryan, "join _him_. Castle, lock the door. I'm sick of this…this petty war we've got tearing us apart. So we're going to sort this out once and for all. We're a team, you guys, a family…"

"_Were_," Esposito dared to say, his voice dripping with bitterness.

"I said _enough_," bellowed Kate. "You've had your say for now. My turn to have the floor."

Esposito miraculously wandered over to Castle's dining table and sat down heavily on one side, immediately slumping over, his elbows resting on the wood like a surly perp awaiting interrogation.

"Ryan," said Kate, waving him over to join his partner, while Castle quickly skidded away to lock the front door, not wishing to miss a second of this – bad ass, sexy as hell Kate taking charge in his house. _Hot damn!_

Kate walked to the kitchen next and drew her friend into a hug, turning her back on the dining area to shield Lanie from the boys.

"It'll be fine, Lanie," she whispered as she cradled her distraught friend. "We'll sort it. Don't worry. You don't have to stay for this if you don't want to. I can call you later."

Lanie sniffled, and then straighten up, some of her fierceness returning. She glanced over Kate's shoulder at the dining table. Ryan and Esposito were sat at diagonally opposite ends, determinedly not looking at one another. Javi had his back to her, resolutely ignoring the M.E..

"Yeah. Probably right. Here, honey, I brought this," she said, pulling a brown file out of her bag. "Autopsy report on your Upper East Side John Doe. Had to pull a few favors to get it. Let me know if you need me to talk you through it, 'kay?"

"Thanks, Lanie," said Kate, squeezing her arm and then escorting her to the front door.

They passed Castle, who was hanging about like a lost soul in the middle of his own living room. He gave Lanie what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and patted her arm as they passed.

"Go babysit them, would you?" asked Kate, throwing him a smile. "I'll be right in. Just…make sure they don't kill one another 'til I get back," she said, winking at her boyfriend.

* * *

Kate walked Lanie out of the loft and along the hallway to the elevator. She pressed the call button and leant back upon the wall to wait with her, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So," said Lanie, running a finger under her right eye to wipe away the remnants of a tear. "How's it goin'? You and him. You guys look pretty tight," she said, sounding vaguely envious.

"We…yeah, we're good," said Kate, a smile coming unbidden to her lips. "It hasn't all been easy, and the case coming up again…that's…hmm…it's gonna get harder before it get easier," she said truthfully. "I kind of showed up here promising things I don't think I'm going to be able to deliver."

"Honey, that man loves you. He'll follow you to the ends of the earth and back. Give him a chance. Don't put words in his mouth, Kate, or thoughts in that crazy brain of his. You'll work through this too. Just look at everything you guys have been through already. Trust yourself, and for god's sake trust him, honey. 'Cause he's too good to let go."

"You're right there, Lanie. Anyway, I guess I should get back in there. Bump their heads together until they see sense."

"Well, good luck with that. Javi's…god I just don't know anymore, Kate. The guy's as stubborn as a damn mule."

"Look, _you_ got them here. And now it's my turn to read them the riot act and try to get us all back on track. Which is kind of fitting, since this whole thing's really been my fault," admitted Kate.

"You know you're way too hard on yourself, Katherine Beckett. But that's part of why we all love you so much. Come here," said Lanie, pulling her friend in for a warm hug just as the elevator announced its' arrival. "Thank you, honey. Call me later, okay?"

"You got it. Take care, Lanie," said Kate, waving her friend off as the elevator doors slid shut behind her.

Kate turned around, and lowered her head as she walked back towards the loft, pulling in deep breaths to steady herself before she tackled what came next.

_A/N: So, I think only two people guessed right – well done to BlueOrchid96 and cia-recruit for suggesting Lanie AND Espo. Thought I'd pause for breath here. Hope you enjoyed that funny, angsty little interlude. This quick update is for BWjournal who requested one today! ;) Let me know what you thought? Many thanks for reading as always._


	37. Chapter 37 Them's Ma Boys

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 37 – Them's Ma Boys_**

Kate closed the door quietly behind her and leant back against it, summoning the energy and the words to put her little family back together again.

She looked out across the loft. The sun was streaming in through the windows on the far wall, warm shafts of light catching specks of dust floating through the air, glittering as they tumbled and fell towards the floor only to rise up again on an invisible current. This vista was so peaceful, in inverse proportion to the tension she could feel waiting for her on the other side of the open plan living space. And in that moment she wished for only one thing – to be outside in the fresh air, walking with Castle through the streets, The Park, anywhere that wasn't here: a reminder of all she had failed to achieve, and all that she had broken in trying.

But Kate Beckett was not a quitter, so she gathered her strength, armed herself with her arguments, and pushed off the front door with the curve of her spine, the splay of her hands, and a drive to do the right thing.

* * *

Castle was hovering at the head of the table in typical mediator position, not seated, just leaning forward with his strong hands planted on the polished wooden surface as he watched over their two silent friends. His jaw was set firm, but Kate could see the exhaustion in his eyes and the faint sheen of sweat on his skin as he fought off this cold or bug or whatever it was that was making him weak and feverish.

Her heart twisted as she watched him. The desire to care for him in the most basic of ways was so new and fresh to her, and so uncharacteristic that it made her pause, caused her to want to reach out to him, to delay this little summit that had landed on their doorstep just so that she could look after her partner above and beyond all else.

And out of nowhere, it suddenly struck her that this must be how Castle felt, how he'd been feeling about her for such a terribly long time. This was all the coffees and the food, the family dinners, the little gifts, the grand gestures and the smiles, the flowers and the warmth, his precious time and every other kindness, all wrapped up in one heart tugging feeling made manifest. This was love and so much more. This was what they meant to one another now, and it choked her, and thrilled her, and she wanted to grab hold of his hand and drag him somewhere private just to tell him…I feel it too, I do. Those four years of waiting, they weren't in vain. I see you now, through the same lens that you see me, and it's wondrous. A prism of colored light that refracts my heart into a million sparkling pieces, and every one belongs to you.

Castle looked up from his embedded position and smiled at her, his eyes telegraphing 'courage Kate', and 'you've got this, I know you do'. So she boxed up her joy for later, and she made her way over to her boys with the singular thought of trying her best, apologies coating her lips, ready to break free.

* * *

"Beckett, what are we doin' here? This is stupid?" growled Esposito once she reached them. "And you left _him _in charge?" he asked, jerking his finger towards Castle. "You're out. _Done_, remember? Means so's our boy here. So, I'm gonna ask you again, what're we doing here?" he repeated gruffly.

Kate fought down the urge to scream. Sure this situation was ultimately her fault, but _arghhh_, stubborn, bullheaded men!

"First of all," she said as calmly as she could muster, "Can I just remind you that we are all guests in Castle's home. So, you don't get to yell, or throw things, and you certainly do _not_ get to insult the man when he's standing right there in front of you."

Esposito just stared back at her, defiantly, no response to her statement showing on his face.

"And, second of all, can I point out that you _are_ in fact still sitting here. So, despite all your righteous indignation, Espo, there must be some reason you stuck around. Am I right?"

He looked down at the table this time, but remained seated and sullenly silent.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. Now I need a quick word with my partner, and then…"

Esposito snorted at the word 'partner', and though she paused briefly, Kate ultimately ignored his interruption and carried on.

"And _then_ we can thrash this thing out. I will get you coffee if you promise to _drink it_. Any throwing of hot liquids and your privileges will be revoked," she joked, hoping to ease the tension.

No one laughed. So Kate sighed and walked away, beckoning her partner to follow her to his office.

* * *

"Rick, I'm so sorry about all of this," she sighed, leaning back on the edge of his desk. You don't look so great, are you…I mean, do you want to…"

She reached up to palm his cheek affectionately and he leaned into her touch.

"Thanks for the compliment," said Castle, wiggling his eyebrows comically and immediately breaking the tension. "I know you want me, 'cause it's written all over your face. So don't deny it, Beckett," he teased.

Kate smiled, slow and easy, and shook her head as she watched him with twinkling eyes, his chest swelling with pride at how he'd handled her, made her lose her train of thought, and robbed her, yes, robbed her of the power of speech again.

"If I say you look hot, and it works both ways in this instance, am I forgiven?" she asked, standing on tiptoe to kiss his warm cheek, her hands pressed against his chest for balance.

"Forgiven?" he asked in puzzlement, loosely holding her elbows to keep her close.

"For bringing this stress into your home."

"Hey, this is not your fault. If they're too knuckled headed to sort this out for themselves then we help them. _We_, Kate. Both of us. And on that point, you made a factual error in your opening statement, Counselor."

Kate smiled at his audacity.

"Oh, yeah? Everyone's a critic these days. So, what are _you_, counsel for the defense now?"

"And go up against you?" snorted Castle. "I think not. Might be reckless, but I'm not dumb."

"So what was this mistake?"

"You said that you were all guests in my home."

"Yes, _and?_"

"You included yourself in that grouping. You're not a guest here, Kate. I don't want you to think like that. I've said it before, but it clearly bears repeating. I want you to treat my home like it's your own, and that includes answering the door, and making coffee, feeding my daughter, having friends over, or doing laundry, and _definitely_ making love to this ruggedly handsome guy who also lives here," he said, walking his fingers around her sides to draw her closer.

"You want me to have sex with your _doorman_?" Kate fired back, dissolving into gales of laughter when Castle grabbed her and lunged for her neck.

She fought him off eventually, squirming out of his grasp.

"Yeah, you're hot, and sweaty, and sick, my man," she said, feeling his forehead.

"Quit flirting with me, Kate," moaned Castle in mock frustration, teasing another giggle from her.

"Okay, so you did it again. You distracted me from them, and I'm grateful. But I really do have something serious to say to you."

"Uh huh? I'm not going to like this, am I?" he asked, sobering up for a moment.

"I'm not sure. But we're being honest, s_o_… Look, I have to tell them that I'm thinking about trying for reinstatement, otherwise, what the hell right do I have to force them to be friends, let alone work together? And I know we haven't had a chance to discuss this properly first. What it means, how you feel about it…hell, how I feel about it. So, can you just go with me on this for now, and I promise we'll talk about it tonight. Properly."

"Kate, that you'd even ask me that shows just how far we've come. I trust your judgment. I just hope those two appreciate the lengths you're going to for them."

She breathed a sigh of relief, and drew Castle to her for an all too brief hug.

"Shall we?" she asked, tipping her head back towards the living room.

"Do we have to?" whined Castle, tugging on her hand to hold her back. "Maybe we can hide out in the bedroom and they'll fix it themselves."

Kate laughed quietly, not altogether averse to his suggestion.

"How long have you known Esposito? I've never met a more stubborn guy. And when he gets going, he makes Gates look like a pussycat. Just look at what he did to poor Lanie, and she's no pushover."

"Got that right."

"Shhh," said Kate, pressing her fingers to Castle's lips, her free hand curling round his wrist. "You hear that?"

"What?"

"That. There. I think I heard voices," whispered Kate.

"You know that's one of the early signs of madness, right?"

Kate raised an eyebrow at him, and chewed on her lip, tilting her head to concentrate on listening.

"Ooo, yeah. Oooo again. There. I heard it," said Castle, listening with her now.

"Shhhh," they giggled, clutching at one another as they edged closer to the door trying to hear what was going on out in the living room.

* * *

"So, what do you think they're doing in there?" Ryan eventually asked, breaking the stony silence. His eyes slid up from where he'd been fiddling with his wedding ring to tentatively look at his partner.

Esposito's lips quirked ever so slightly, a reflexive response already on them, ready to spill forth until he caught it.

"Javi?" he tried again, his pale blue eyes anxious and serious. "This is embarrassing enough as it is. Mom and dad in there whispering, and us out here behaving like a couple of kids on a time out."

Esposito snorted. "Not my fault you're such a tattletale."

"Fine, if that's what you think. Call me names, kick my ass, whatever it takes, man. But we've got to sort this out."

"Oh yeah? Why's that? 'Cause from what I hear you're Gates' new best boy, and she's got a couple of shiny new partners all lined up for you, bro. So, what they hell do you need me for?" he growled, scraping his chair back from the table to go and refill his coffee cup.

"Be mad at me, Javi, but stop shutting me down. This isn't about us anymore. This is about Beckett. And I stand by what I did the other day, 'cause she's alive because of it. You can call me a snitch, a rat, whatever. Sticks and stones, man. But this is about her and it's about them. You gonna walk away from that? All the times she had our backs? We were a team, a family, just like she said. And she needs us on this, all of us, working together."

"What're you talking about?" Esposito's interest was piqued.

"Lanie didn't tell you?"

"Lanie and me…" he shook his head.

"Jesus, man. Get it together. You gonna piss everyone off?"

"What the hell business is it of yours?" Esposito snapped.

"Beckett. _Beckett_ is our business. Cole Maddox killed again. The guy's on the move and he's still a damn ghost. He left her to die, hanging from that ledge, and the thought that maybe if I'd waited to act, or...or didn't that day, it haunts me, man. Every night when I close my eyes, I…I feel myself reaching for her, and I grasp her wrist, but her hand slips through mine, and…and there are nights when I don't make it in time, or I lose my grip on her and then she's falling, _falling_, Javi. You know what that's like? To relive that every night?"

Ryan put his head in his hands and then scrubbed them over his face, rocking forward over his knees.

"Yeah, well, you got to play hero, saved the girl. So what's the big deal?" said Esposito, a little less gruffly.

"The big deal is that I nearly did _nothing_. _Alright?_" said Ryan, sounding panicked at his confession, even after the fact. "When you guys left the Twelfth I was worried, okay. So I called Castle. But he didn't answer his phone. And I nearly gave up right there. Almost sat on my _ass_ and just monitored Maddox's damn GPS, like you asked."

* * *

Castle blanched at Kevin's words. He stepped away from the open bookshelf, and then he pulled his phone from his pocket and stared at it, thumbed up the recent call list, and closed his eyes when it all came flooding back to him. The call from the Twelfth, right before he left for Alexis' graduation - he'd assumed it was Kate calling, so he'd…_rejected_…the word jarred in his brain. _Kate_ and _rejected_ should never have appeared in the same universe, never mind the same sentence. A cold shiver passed down his spine, raising the hairs on his arms. He only opened his eyes again when he felt Kate's hand on his chilled skin.

"Whatever that was, it's done, Castle. We've moved on. You weren't the only one who made mistakes that day. Let it go," she whispered softly, brushing her thumb over his chin.

Castle nodded, but his chest still felt tight, guilt and panic twisting his insides like a tourniquet.

Outside, Ryan continued.

* * *

"Don't you see? If I hadn't gone to Gates, Beckett would be dead by now for sure, and we'd be helping Castle carry her coffin to a graveside, watching her dad accept the flag, Javi. Is that what you would have wanted? Is your pride and this screwy notion you have of loyalty really worth that? Dying for? 'Cause I thought loyalty was about doing the right thing, Javier. No matter how hard, you do it because you care, and because it's the right thing to do."

"You said they need us," said Esposito after a minute's thoughtful silence. "What did you mean?"

"Why'd Lanie tell you she was coming over here today?"

"To give Beckett the once over, check her injuries. Why?"

"Cause she lied to you, Javi. She's was coming here to bring us the autopsy report on a John Doe we think was murdered by Cole Maddox a few nights ago. Wealthy guy, lived on the Upper East Side. Bullet to the head, 9mm, point blank. No bullet recovered at the scene so far."

"Robbery?"

"Safe unlocked, cash and jewelry left inside."

"How'd you know it was Maddox?"

"CSU found a fingerprint on the underside of the desk lamp. They think Maddox lay in wait for this guy, made him handover whatever was in that safe, and then shot him in the head. Prints matched the ones we pulled from Montgomery's wedding album. The one you and Beckett found in Maddox's room at the Rosslyn Hotel."

"And you think this is connected to Beckett's shooting, how?"

"I'll let Castle explain that to you."

"_Castle?_"

"Uh, yeah. Seems he's been working the case behind our backs for about a year. Big fancy murder board and everything."

Javi laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"No kidding? That guy doesn't do anything by halves. Shoulda known there'd be a gadget in there somewhere. How'd Beckett take it?"

"You saw him. Still has all his vital organs. But I get the feeling it was touch and go for a while. Castle's pretty worried this guy and whoever hired him aren't gonna stop until they silence her for good."

"And what do you think?"

"Nothing would surprise me. You've seen Maddox in action. You think he's going to go to all that trouble and then just walk away?"

"And they really want our help?"

"Beckett's already talking about coming back, talking to Gates, doing it by the book this time. Finish it for good."

"You believe that?"

"They have too much to lose this time. It isn't just about her anymore. Jenny thinks there'll be wedding bells before the end of the year, and she's never wrong about this stuff, believe me," said Ryan, gossiping like an old woman.

"Speaking of," replied Esposito, looking around the loft. "Where _are_ those two anyway?"

"You don't think they're…?" suggested Ryan, jerking his head towards Castle's bedroom.

"Nah," they both chimed, locking eyes at the sudden reappearance of their familiar, easy banter.

Esposito paused, rubbed his hand over his chin, a glint of humor back in his eyes.

"So?" asked Ryan, holding out his hand to his partner across Castle's dining room table. "You in, bro?"

_A/N: So, this took a slightly different direction than I was expecting. Be good to hear what you thought. Happy Thursday guys. Liv_


	38. Chapter 38 Don't Ever Stop

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 38 – Don't Ever Stop_**

_**Warning:** We're M from the start here, kids, with language to match in places too. You'll miss none of the story is you skip this one. Apologies if you're of a sensitive disposition. The rest of you – enjoy! I'm just going to hide in a darkened room._

"How long do you want to be loved, Kate? Is forever enough? 'Cause I'm never, never giving you up?" Castle whispered against her collarbone, before flicking his tongue out to tease her smooth, damp skin.

Kate stilled, paused what she was doing, flexing her fingers against his side to get his attention.

"Castle, did you just quote the Dixie Chicks?" she asked, a smirk blossoming on her lips as she resumed trailing them over his warm neck.

"Alexis…" he started to lie, clearing his throat.

"Does _not_ listen to the Dixie Chicks," laughed Kate, tweaking one of his nipples.

"Shut up. You're ruining the mood," he groused, sliding his large hand between her thighs to distract her.

"Oh god!" Kate exclaimed, shifting her hips up and over the curve of his hand so that the raised pattern of lines and ridges slid across her slick heat, setting up a delicious friction that had her body vibrating and aching within seconds.

"You were saying?" asked Castle smugly, allowing her to coast back and forth over the side of his hand, her breath coming in short gasping pants, while he took one of her breasts into his mouth, bracing his free hand against her spine, just below the jut of her shoulder blades.

They were lying on their sides, facing one another after a stop start discussion about her job that was really more stop than start at this point, since they were both naked and too turned on to focus on much of anything beyond the soft, cool silk of her skin under his fingers and the hard play of his muscles against her body. All despite Castle's lingering fever, and only just having got rid of the boys.

"Shhh," she hissed, swallowing hard. "Working here," she pushed out between breaths. "Oh sweet Jesus, Castle," she moaned, biting her lip hard enough to mark.

Her eyes opened and closed on a blank stare as she sped up her movements.

"God you're beautiful," Castle told her, his warm breath feathering her damp skin as he gave up sucking on her swollen nipple just to watch her use him to tease her body higher and higher.

He could feel her getting more and more aroused, her movements faster and jerkier as she got closer.

"Mmmm," she hummed, shifting her thigh around his waist, trying to expose as much of herself as she could to him.

"You're so wet," he whispered against her chest, his voice full of wonder as he trailed his lips across her flushed skin.

Her body was singing, her arms thrown around his neck, cradling him to her breast as she rode his hand.

"Oh yeah, right there," she gasped, as Castle's thumb grazed the tight bundle of nerves near her opening, and she arched up towards him, their stomachs meeting as she slid her thigh higher up over his ribcage and around his back.

It was Castle's turn to gasp when she used the space between them on a back slide to encircle him with her hand, her grip firm as she skimmed her thumb across his moist tip, cradling him between them.

"You sure you're up for this?" she asked, her eyes focused on his, a teasing smile on her lips, and just so much love.

"What do you think?" he replied, staring her out, eyebrow raised, daring her to challenge him, with the evidence of just how up for it he was barely contained in the shelter of her fist.

"Oh, I think you might just have a thing or two to show me, writer boy, sick or not," she said, giving him a sizzling look from beneath her lashes.

* * *

Kate curled her right arm around Castle's head, her fingers sliding through his hair as she braced her left hand on his shoulder, using her grip and a tightening of her abs to raise herself higher, calves tightening around his back until she could feel his swollen tip at her entrance, teasing. She waited until her partner's eyes were locked on hers, and then she inched closer until she could lower onto his hardness. A couple more pushes and her body parted for him, breaking open around him, both of them sucking in a breath and then smiling crazily at each other as her tightness eased to accommodate him.

Castle grasped her left hip, his other hand on the perfect curve of her ass to guide her over him, sliding them together – a perfect fit every time.

"God, I love you Kate. More everyday. You're…" he paused, as Kate caught his mouth with her teeth, tugging on his lower lip while she circled him with her hips, teasing with her muscles until he almost lost his train of thought. "You're everything I ever wanted. And it's better than even _I_ could have dreamed up."

"Pretty special then?" she teased, lavishing his ear with her tongue.

"Oh…" he panted. "Oh god. Tell me you can_ feel_ that?"

"This?" asked Kate, slowly sliding against him, her body enclosing him tightly. "Or this?" she asked, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth and then slipping her hot tongue inside to tease him. "Or this?" she asked quietly, more seriously, placing his hand over her heart and tilting his chin until he could see her eyes, could see everything she felt for him shimmering right there.

"All of it. Just…all of it. I don't want it to ever stop," he confessed, resuming the lazy, rhythmic movement of their hips, until Kate gripped both of his shoulders, her fingers pressing into the bony surface and firm, bunched muscles, suddenly needing to speed up.

"So you're gonna love me forever?" she teased breathlessly, rocking against him again and again, her pace quickening.

"Forever and then some," he growled, grabbing a fistful of her hair as his teeth met the taut tendon at the side of her neck and nipped to a hissed reply. "You?"

"Same. Yes. Forever." She spoke in staccato bursts between thrusts. "I could do _this_ forever. Love you forever, Castle."

A sob escaped her throat, and he swallowed it with his mouth. Splaying his hands wide on her back, he pushed into her, sharply this time, surprising them both with the power of his thrust.

"Again," Kate begged, and he obliged, plunging into her with an intensity that spoke of a ferocious love and fierce desire, the frantic kind, the kind that people killed for. The kind of desperate love that takes you to the edge of madness and leaves you hanging there, scrambling to find something close to sanity with your fingertips.

"_Please_. Don't stop. _Again?_" she implored, winding her legs tightly around his back, hooked together at the ankles, trapping him against her body. "Oh…oh, Castle," she cried.

His muscles rippled as he fed himself into her again and again, each thrust deeper than before as he felt her words and her desperate need for him making him harder, straining him to the point of delicious pain.

"Oh babe. S'time," Kate gasped, nearly incoherent, her wet mouth open against his shoulder as her strokes became longer and slower, her tongue darting out to taste his salty skin.

Castle could sense that she was on the edge, the tightening, the slowing as she quieted her movements to listen to her body, to the feel the orgasm break over her. And then he felt it. She stopped moving all together as the feathering contractions surrounded him and he pressed his fingers into her back, riding out that incredible sensation with her in complete silence, their ragged breathing the only soundtrack.

"Oh…oh my god, Castle," she choked out, her throat dry.

Her hips rocked forward again, sliding over him easily as she fought to prolong her ecstasy, chasing the feeling even as it faded and her heart pounded hard in her chest.

"Sweetheart," he whispered, his face breaking into a broad smile as her consciousness returned, bringing her back to the room, the haze clearing. He kissed her hard, brushing damp curls back from her cheek. "You were amazing."

"Mmm-hmm," she choked weakly, seeking out his mouth again, their tongues coming out to slide over one another lazily while they lay there breathing together.

"You still okay?" asked Kate, trailing her fingers down across the side of his face, more tender than he needed right now.

"Never better," he said, rocking his hips forward experimentally.

"Oh, I see. It's like that, is it?" beamed Kate, encircling his large biceps with her fingers to hold onto him. "Somebody's a little impatient to get going," she teased, feeling him twitch inside her.

"Never that. We can take as long as you need," he said, reaching down to flick her stiffened nipple with his tongue.

Kate cradled his head, watching him as he nipped and suckled the sensitive skin of her left breast, and then pressed his lips to the round, flat outline of her scar. She ran her thumb up and down the hollowed dip at the nape of his neck until she felt his hips resume their rocking motion with her body still bowed over his.

* * *

Castle grasped Kate's hips this time, using the purchase he gained to thrust more forcefully into her as his eyes drifted closed and his mind floated away on a sea of overwhelming sensation.

Kate arched back away from him towards the far edge of the bed, her ribcage stretched and open, her belly taut, breasts thrust high as she reached for the edge of the mattress and held on, her arms raised above her head as she braced herself for him.

"Dear god, you're trying to kill me," moaned Castle, when he chanced to open his eyes as he felt her move and caught the spectacular sight of her spread out before him.

His hips jerked in response, and he gripped her again, trying to control his movements.

Kate hooked her legs around his waist and pushed back against him, matching every thrust.

"I'm not gonna last much longer," he warned, beads of sweat studding his brow and dampening his hair.

"Then come for me, Castle," said Kate, concerned that physical exertion might not be the best thing for him in his fevered state.

But hell, looking at him now, and feeling, oh yes, _that_, '_what weakened state'_ was the only question that sprang to mind.

She felt her own body responding again to his movements, her core winding tighter with every thrust of him inside of her, soothing and then reigniting the delicious ache that was quickly turning into a desperate need as he stroked her.

Castle shifted slightly, reestablishing his grip on her sweat slicked skin, and Kate screwed her eyes tightly closed as a strangled moan erupted from her throat and she curled upwards to grasp his forearms, jerking him into her forcefully.

"Shit, Kate," said Castle, watching her abs contact with something like awe.

"Sorry. Need you," she begged, biting down on her lip again. "Fuck, Castle," she hissed, her cheeks so sexily flushed and her eyes so dark that he couldn't take it anymore.

He turned them smoothly, so that Kate was lying on her back, her calves still crossed at his waist. He towered over her now, and she looked up in surprise to see his dark, fevered eyes watching her.

"Tell me you need me again, Kate," he asked, resting against his powerful forearms, their faces just inches apart as his hips danced up and down, keeping up a fast, devastating pace.

"I need you. God, do I ever need you, Rick," Kate whimpered, and that was all it took – her desperation, and the wet heat of her body surrounding him.

He felt the tightening in his groin, a tingling sensation, and then he bucked into her, getting harder, if that was possible. Kate gripped the sheets and he vaguely registered the whip of her head to the side on a moan as she came apart for a second time beneath him. His sensitive tip brushed deep inside her as her muscles trembled around him, and then he felt the surge beginning, and his mind left his body for what felt like whole minutes, taking him away to a place of beautiful clarity.

He let a hiss of air out through his teeth, and rose up as he came, pushing against the mattress until his arms were at full stretch and his back was arched.

The interlude was all too brief, and soon, _oh too soon_, his mind came crashing back to earth, the wormhole to lucidity closing to him once more, delivering him back to reality.

* * *

When he opened his eyes again, Kate was staring up at him with a fresh kind of wonder on her face, and a smile so wide it nearly broke his heart.

"Where'd you go?" she asked, reaching up to touch the damp hair at his temple, skimming the curve of his ear.

"Same place as you," he replied. "Nirvana."

"Glad you could join me," teased Kate, slipping her hand around his neck to tug him down against her shoulder.

"Careful. I'm gonna crush you," warned Castle.

"I want you to crush me," she moaned, tugging again so that she got her own way this time, and he sank down against her, their warm bodies pressed together.

"Mmm, these are the days," he laughed, blowing a raspberry against the curve of her left breast. "Not what you'd have been saying a few years ago."

"Shut up. Don't remind me. Who _was_ that dumb Beckett chick anyway?" she asked, to a peel of startled, breathless laughter from her partner.

He squeezed her sides until she joined him in a long breathy giggle, eventually tweaking his nose to get him to stop.

They lay quietly for a few minutes, heart rates returning to normal, just breathing together, until the air cooled their sweat coated skin, and Castle shook them both with a particularly violent shiver.

Kate reached beyond him to pull the sheet up to cover them, snuggling closer for just a few more precious minutes.

"Right, time for a hot shower. It's after four and we're still in bed," she said eventually, kissing his bare shoulder tenderly. "And then I think we should put some clothes on. Trying to have a serious discussion with you while you're naked is a non-starter, Richard Castle."

"As a reward for that _very_ pleasing remark, I will grudgingly share my shower with you, Ms. Beckett," he said, kissing her hard and then sitting back on his heels and tugging her upright with him.

Needless to say, it was some time before either of them found their way into clothing of any description.

_A/N: Okay, so this chapter definitely took a little detour – these characters, what can I say? Hope I didn't offend anyone. Normal service should resume with the next chapter. Have a great weekend everyone. Liv._


	39. Chapter 39 My Home Is My Castle

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 39 – My Home Is My Castle_**

"Hurry up, Rick. I can hear the key in the door," hissed Kate, urging Castle to pull his sweat pants up faster so that they could lounge nonchalantly on the couch in the living room, and not look like they were half way through round three just as Alexis got back from her shopping trip with her grandmother.

"Oh darlings, you're _here_," exclaimed Martha, as she sashayed in through the front door, her arms strung with a number of expensive looking shopping bags, her black and pink leopard print pantsuit clashing beautifully with her hair.

The older woman immediately spotted, but thankfully decided to ignore, the lacy cup and strap of one half of Kate's black bra, which was dangling out from beneath the corner of one of the sofa cushions, focusing her attention on their guilty looking faces instead.

Kate sat up straighter, and tried to put a little distance between herself and Castle. But he followed her when she edged away, keeping their thighs pressed together, only making matters worse when he slid the thin strap of her camisole back up her arm, drawing more attention to their general air of dishevelment.

"So, what have you two been up to?" Martha asked, her teasing tone evident in both her voice and the loaded question.

"_Nothing_" and "_Reading_" were the two guilty replies that they blurted out, accompanied by a choked giggle from Kate when Castle's fingers spasmed against her thigh in nervous panic.

"I see," said Martha slowly. "_That_ busy, huh?" she added, nodding knowingly at them.

Kate bit her lip and tried to shrink back into the couch to escape Martha's penetrating gaze. Castle's mother had her feeling like a teenager again, getting caught making out on the couch by…wait, that was exactly what had just happened.

"So, what about you two?" asked Castle, clearing his throat, his voice coming out sounding a little too high and reedy. "Good day?"

Just in the nick of time, he spotted Kate's bra floating on the periphery of his vision, and rose from the couch to block the view from Alexis. Kate stood up a second or two after him, leaning over the coffee table to close the autopsy report they had been about to study until, well…they got distracted. Castle's fault this time – more wandering hands and the man's extremely talented tongue. She gathered the stack of macabre photographs together and slid them back into the folder.

"Oh, we had a whale of a time, didn't we darling?" Martha said, turning to address Alexis, who was busily rooting through her own shopping bags. "A woman can never have too many pairs of shoes. Isn't that right, Kate darling?" she asked, holding up a pair of emerald green Jimmy Choos and waving them in Kate's direction.

Kate made some appropriate noises in reply while keeping half an eye on Castle, wondering what on earth he was up to.

With Martha and Alexis' attention focused elsewhere, Castle took the opportunity to snatch Kate's bra out from under the cushions, and then turned swiftly to press it against Kate's chest.

She looked down at her hands in panic. The black lace stood out vividly against the pale grey of her camisole. She looked at Castle wide-eyed, the question, '_What the hell do I do now?_' written in the look she was giving him.

Thinking on his feet, he grabbed the autopsy report up off the coffee table and handed it to her.

"We can look at this later, right?" he asked, for the benefit of his mother and daughter, trying to keep his voice light, while a bubble of nervous laughter was building in his chest. "Maybe you should put it in the office with the other files, Kate. And I'll get dinner going," he suggested, with a theatrical jerk of his head towards the office.

God, she could have kissed him for his quick thinking, and then with a heady rush of affection she did just that - a deep, grateful, lingering kiss that allowed her to cover her stray underwear with the file that was pressed between them.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear when they pulled apart. "We'll continue this later," she added, smiling shyly at him, as she fingered the hem of his t-shirt sleeve, her eyes dancing with his, shared humor sparking between them.

"Count on it, Kate," he said, gently tugging on a lock of her hair and then tucking it behind her ear. "'Cause I'm nowhere near done pulling your pigtails today," he grinned.

"Okay," interrupted Martha, clapping her hands. "How about we have some family time now? You two have spent enough time doing whatever it is that you do when we're not here," she said, completely straight-faced.

"_Grams!_" exclaimed Alexis, jerking her head out of a pile of tissue paper to stare at her grandmother open-mouthed.

"What, dear? They can canoodle on their own time."

"_Mother_," said Castle, reproachfully, a warning tone in his voice.

Kate used the distraction to withdraw to the office, dumping the file on Castle's desk and then retreating to his bedroom to quickly slip her underwear back on and run a brush through her disheveled hair.

* * *

"I'd appreciate you not making Kate feel uncomfortable," hissed Castle, casting a quick glance over his shoulder to check that she was still out of earshot. "She finally feels at home here. Do _not_ drive her out, mother, because that is one contest you will _not_ win," he warned Martha.

"Fine, dear. Have it your way," said the older woman, backing down immediately, since she knew she was onto a good thing staying at the loft as it was. "I shall retreat to the sanctuary of my room until dinner is ready. As you were," she instructed, sweeping up her bags and heading for the stairs.

"Where's Martha?" asked Kate, coming back into the living room and finding only Alexis and Castle in the kitchen.

"Nap," snapped Castle, heading for the refrigerator.

Kate looked over at Alexis, who just shrugged her shoulders in a 'don't ask me' gesture, and then gathered up her own shopping and headed for her room.

"What did you say to them?" asked Kate, her voice tinged with amusement as she walked over to where Castle was standing with his head stuck inside the open door, staring blindly at the contents.

She laid her hand on his back and let it slide down over the soft cotton of his t-shirt, feeling the solid curve of his trapezius and the ridges of his spine beneath her fingers.

"She…" he grit his teeth, the words coming out on a hiss of air and frustration. "She just…she _pushes_ too far sometimes," he complained, closing the door and leaning back against the counter.

"Hey. Hey, what's this?" asked Kate, trapping him with her body as she moved in closer, widening her stance to span his legs with her own. She titled Castle's chin up towards her so that she could look into his eyes. He was pouting like a little boy, and she wondered absently if she maybe loved him even more when he looked like this.

"I…I'm a grown man, and my _mother_ manages to make me feel guilty for enjoying you in my own freakin' home. What _is_ that, Kate? _Hmm?_ Not exactly romantic, I know that much," he said, getting himself more and more worked up.

"But you have to admit it _was_ kind of funny," said Kate, trying to humor him out of his mood, just as he had done for her countless times.

"I just wish we had more privacy sometimes, you know? What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," said Kate, softly, pressing her body up against his, her hands resting either side of his hips on the counter top. "Nothing at all. But this is what we have," she added, ghosting her lips over his ear, "and it's a lot more than we had last week," she reminded him.

"You're doing _my_ trick," he said, squirming when her barely there caress tickled the shell of his ear. "Distraction 101," he murmured, flexing his fingers on her waist.

"There's always _my place_ if it gets too…uh…_crowded_ here," suggested Kate, kissing his skin so softly and raising the hairs on the back of his neck in the process.

"Mmm," he hummed in agreement. "But we shouldn't be chased out of my _home_. This is not exactly what you expected I'm sure when…oh god, Kate, _that_ is amazing," he gasped, his head spinning as she warmed up to the whole distraction thing.

"Your family aren't some big surprise to me, Rick," Kate reminded him. "Four years of exposure kind of inures you to some of it, like an inoculation," she teased, allowing him to nudge his knee further between her thighs as they rocked gently together.

Castle laughed at her analogy. "Yeah, my mother can be like a particularly virulent virus," he mused, "hard to shake off once it invades."

"Now you're being mean. That's not what I meant. Martha's been good to me, and she's on our side, Rick. It wouldn't hurt to be grateful for what we have here – for your family," she said, running her thumb across his chin, and then kissing him lightly on the side of his mouth.

"How'd you get to be so good, and so wise, Kate Beckett?" he asked, brushing her lips with his own as she raised her arms to wrap them around his neck, her body now flush with his while they swayed gently from side to side, almost dancing right there in the kitchen.

"Oh, I let this writer guy follow me around for a few years. He must have rubbed off on me," she teased, her lips curving into a smile. She turned her head slightly, laying her cheek against her partner's. "I don't want this to ever become about a choice between your family and me. Do you understand? We can have all of it. You get me, with all my outsize baggage, and I get you, with the family-size bonus prize thrown in," she pointed out wisely.

"You really _are_ extraordinary," he said, with no small amount of wonder in his voice. "All the things I worried about with us, and you've just taken it all in your stride."

"Maybe I'm banking brownie points," she suggested. "You ever think of that?"

"What do you need brownie points for?" he asked, leaning back so that he could see her face.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a couple of things."

Castle nodded for her to continue.

"Well, there's my resignation, which we've made a fine job of dancing around today."

"Mmm-hmm, and, I sense something else."

"My dad," said Kate, raising a knowing eyebrow at him.

"_Oh_," said Castle, instinctively loosening his hold on her, as if the man himself had just walked into the room.

"Yes, _oh_,"said Kate. "I haven't called him in over a week, and he knows none of the big stuff that's been going on."

"So, you want to call him? Invite him over," suggested Castle.

"And let your mother lose on him before we get a chance to talk to him on our own terms?"

"Crazy idea?"

"Just a little. But it was sweet."

"So, how do you want to handle it? I'll be guided by you."

"How about I call him later. Give him the good news first, and then we could meet him to explain the rest?"

"So you tell him you've resigned over the phone, and then…"

"Oh_, very funny!_" exclaimed Kate, tweaking Castle's sides until he doubled over, his forehead pressed against her shoulder while he wheezed with laughter.

"Apples, apples," he gasped, grabbing hold of her wrists until she let go.

"So, yeah, funny man. I tell him the good news, _about us_, and then we do the rest face-to-face."

"Sounds…uh…truly terrifying," he confessed, with a nervous chuckle. "But, I'll man up, Beckett, and hope your father's shotgun license has lapsed," he joked.

"My dad already loves you, you big drama queen," said Kate, resting her head on his shoulder while he encircled her waist and back with his arms. "I'm sure he'll be thrilled," she murmured again his neck.

"Hmm," hummed Castle skeptically. "Theoretical relationships are one thing. Actual, 'oh my god that guy is having sex with my daughter' reality is something quite different."

Kate laughed throatily. "How will he even _know_ that?"

"Kate have you looked in the mirror lately? We look like we haven't gotten out of bed in like a month, and it hasn't even been a week yet."

"That bad?"

He nodded.

"You know what?" she asked, suddenly standing taller.

"What?" asked Castle, eyeing her suspiciously.

"I don't think I care anymore. I'm in love with you and I'm proud of us, and everything we've overcome to get here. My dad should be proud too."

Castle blinked at her, and then did a dramatic double take.

"Okay, who stole Beckett, and replaced her with this emotionally savvy imposter?" he joked, scanning wildly around the loft, until Kate halted him with the hot press of her mouth on his, her fingers curled around his jaw to hold him there.

She pushed her body up against him, rising on her tiptoes to kiss him harder, then slid back down over his body to a devastated groan from Castle, who was busy weaving his fingers through her hair. Kate's insides had turned to jelly and her heart was hammering.

"Memo to self," he muttered, when they pulled apart gasping for air, "Pay Kate more compliments."

Kate sniggered. "You pay me plenty," she said, touching her fingers to her swollen lips. "But how about making me dinner?"

"I can do both," he said proudly. "For it is a myth that modern man is unable to multitask," he announced, his moody episode over his mother's behavior all forgotten.

"Yeah," smirked Kate, sashing over to the counter to claim a stool so that she could watch him work. "I've seen you multitask, and you're pretty…uh…_talented_," she added, her tongue drawn between her teeth, eyebrow raised to accompany her sexy smile.

He swallowed slowly, eyes dancing with delight at this clever, sensual, amazing woman who was so clearly in love with him that he wondered why he'd ever been stupid enough to doubt it.

"Name your pleasure. What does my lady desire for dinner tonight? And if I don't have it, I will go and get it, and if I can't make it, I will have it flown in specially," he declared, making Kate giggle with the theatricality of his grand statement.

"Something simple. Protein and vegetables," she said, laughing again at his horrified expression.

"Seriously, Kate. Lobster from Maine, fresh oysters from South Puget Sound, Kobe beef from Japan, just name it and it's yours."

"Castle," she admonished gently, waiting for his eyes to settle on her, "whatever you cook will be a delicacy to me, because _you_ made it for me," she said, feeling her face heating up.

She shook her head, and looked down at her lap, her lips pressed together in an effort to keep her goofy smile under control.

"Oh, that might just be the sweetest, loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me," he beamed, leaning across the island and ducking his head down to catch her eye. "Kate?"

"You're turning me into _that_ girl," she moaned, covering her face with her hands and chuckling quietly.

"What girl?"

"Oh you know, the perfect, perky cheerleader type, voted most likely to get married in her high school yearbook. The besotted, love-sick dreamer with the shiny hair, who carves her initials in a tree beside her boyfriend's, makes memory boxes, and…and scrapbooks of every little thing they do together. Saves concert ticket stubs, and restaurant napkins, and that little plastic ring he gave her from inside a box of Cracker Jacks. The kind of girl who plans her wedding when she's like fourteen, then actually _marries_ her high school sweetheart – who's QB1 of course - and then makes pies and pops out babies for the rest of her life. Oh, and she's an expert quilter too, this girl," she added, her face so earnest and serious.

Castle laughed loudly, threw his head back at the absurdity of her diatribe.

"Kate, I hate to break it to you, honey, but we're a bit long in the tooth for that little tableau, and I was never a starting quarterback, or...or any other kind of quarterback. But…wait, were you a…"

"No, me either," said Kate, biting her lip as she shook her head. "But I have been know to bake the odd pie," she confessed, lifting her eyebrow suggestively.

"_And_…" he prompted.

"_Rick,_" she warned, to stop him completing the rest of that thought before it got anymore formed, because babies were one subject she wanted to avoid right now. Way too soon for that kind of chat, and anyway, her father would probably raise it just to embarrass her, so she wouldn't want him thinking they'd already talked about it.

"Okay. Not yet," he agreed, covering her hand with his own. "But, maybe someday?"

"Let's see how good this dinner is and then maybe we can talk, papa bear," she teased.

"You _do_ know I was just talking about quilting, right?" he deadpanned, and then it was Kate's turn to roar with laughter.

"What's so funny?" asked Alexis, sliding onto the stool next to Kate, and snagging a grape from the fruit bowl.

"Your dad, said Kate, not wishing to explain any further. If he needed privacy, this was one way to achieve it.

Castle gave her a grateful look, and switched subjects. "So, Kate wants boring protein and veggies for dinner. What about you pumpkin?"

"That sounds perfect," said Alexis, turning to fist bump Kate, much to Castle's annoyance.

"You've turned my daughter against me," he complained.

"No, we just happen to have an advanced appreciation of the same food groups, dad," replied Alexis. "Can't live on carbs everyday," she admonished him. "You don't exercise enough for that," said Alexis quite innocently.

When Castle caught Kate's eye she was smirking, her hand pressed to her mouth to keep the laughter in, but her shoulders were already shaking. His eyes lit up in delight at her filthy mind.

"You vixen," he growled, and Alexis looked at them in puzzlement.

She seemed to replay the conversation in her head, and then sat up sharply.

"Ewww," she moaned. "Grams is right, give it a rest, you guys."

Kate burst out laughing and Castle choked out, "But then how would we work off the carbs?"

Alexis sighed in complete disgust. Then she hopped down off the stool and spun away from the kitchen, leaving them to their innuendo-laden conversation.

"Parents," she muttered, as she walked away shaking her head, to the sound of more laughter from her dad and Kate.

_A/N: Well, I've come out of that darkened room and I'm pleased to report that everyone seemed to enjoy the last chapter. Phew! Your reviews made me laugh so much. Thanks guys. This was another little glimpse of them hanging at home before we tackle the tricky stuff. Liv._


	40. Chapter 40 A First For Me: Part 1

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 40 – A First For Me: Part 1_**

After dinner and a couple of rounds of Scrabble, which Kate and Alexis won hands down with the words WHEEZY and QUARTZ for 24 points each (while Castle toiled over a more literary vocabulary), they retired to their rooms for the night.

Following a series of hugs and goodnights from his mother and Alexis, Castle headed towards his bedroom muttering something under his breath about being robbed, and Kate chided him for being such a sore loser.

"I'm a _wordsmith_, Kate," he complained. "Scrabble should be my game."

"Success is based on scoring points for the cunning, tactical use of obscure letters of the alphabet, Rick, not an eloquent, scholarly masterpiece."

"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?" he groused.

"Neither. I'm simply stating a fact. Speaking of…how _are_ you feeling? Temperature gone down any?" she asked, placing her hand on his forehead.

"Wine's helping," he replied, putting their glasses down on the nightstand.

"Hmm. Alcohol and Tylenol. Not sure that's the best combination, but you do feel cooler," she agreed.

"Whereas _you_ are as hot as ever," grinned Castle, tugging on the belt loop of her jeans to pull her closer.

"We have work to do," complained Kate, pressing her palms against his chest to hold him a bay. "And I only agreed we could do it in here if you promised to wear clothes and let me focus on these files," said Kate, pointing to the small stack of manila folders lying on top of the bed behind him.

"You're no fun," grumbled Castle, releasing her with a wet kiss, before heading off to his closet.

* * *

A short while later, Kate was sitting cross-legged on the bed wearing a pair of navy NYPD training shorts and a white camisole, determined to remain clothed while she read the files Ryan had brought over that morning. Her hair was pulled back into a low bun, and she twirled a loose strand round and round her finger while she studied the facts of the case.

Castle was flirting with the rules as usual, having stripped down to just his boxer shorts, arguing with Kate that technically he _was_ still clothed. Which was why Kate had layered a couple of pillows between them on the bed to allow her to focus on the paperwork she had spread out over the comforter.

"I can honestly say this is a first for me," said Castle, tossing Kate's carefully arranged pillows onto the floor so that he could scoot closer to her.

"Hmm?" asked Kate, absentmindedly.

"Reading autopsy reports and studying crime scene photographs in bed."

Kate swiveled her head to look at him. "You mean you never sat up in bed late at night pouring over all those file copies you stole from the Precinct when you thought I wasn't looking?"

He looked surprised for a brief second, but covered it well.

"Why? Is that how you pictured me, Beckett?" he teased, running his thumb up and down the outside of her arm, sparking off a delicious tingling across her skin. "Naked in bed, thumbing through your crime scene photographs?"

Kate scoffed, and slid her eyes slowly to the side to give him a look. "You think I was picturing you _naked_ in bed with my evidence?"

"_No_," he said patiently, leaning over to suck on her earlobe. "I think you were picturing me naked, _period_," he whispered, breaking into a wolfish grin.

Kate's eyes rolled back in her head at the feel of his wet mouth on her ear and she shivered, making a half-hearted attempt to push him away.

"Dream on, Castle," she snorted, running her fingers through her hair distractedly, loosening a few more strands in the process.

She felt herself getting really warm. Partly because he'd just called her out over some of the very real, recurrent fantasies she'd had about him, and partly because he was pressed up against her and she found his body overwhelmingly attractive and intensely distracting.

"Got _that_ right. You featured in a rather lot of _my_ dreams, Kate, and believe me when I say that your clothes rarely had a starring role."

"_Seriously?_" she grinned, dropping the folder she was holding onto the bed to look at him properly. "You had dreams about me in which I was naked? And this is supposed to be news?"

Castle scrubbed a hand down over his face as if he was trying to control himself.

"Do I sound like a pervert if I say yes?"

"I think you just said yes, without actually saying yes," she grinned, tugging his hand away from his eyes. "Anyway, you may have appeared in a few of _my_ dreams _too_," she admitted coyly, sucking suggestively on the end of her finger.

"_Really?_" asked Castle eagerly, his eyebrows wiggling comically.

"_Oh_ yes," she nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I would be kneeling in front of you on the floor."

"Uh-huh?" he panted breathlessly.

"Chaining you to a radiator with my cuffs, while Esposito helped Ryan duct tape your mouth shut," she laughed, her eyes dancing while Castle showed off his pouty face.

"That's just mean," he complained.

"Poor baby," said Kate, patting his cheek and then turning back to the paperwork.

* * *

Castle reached over to the nightstand to grab their glasses of wine. He handed Kate hers and she murmured her thanks, idly taking a sip while she scanned the page in front of her.

"Find anything?" asked Castle, sliding in between Kate and the headboard. He leaned forward to look over her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her bare skin in the process.

Kate sighed, and then she rested back against him, instantly feeling her stomach start to flutter when she connected with Castle's warm, naked, muscular chest and abdomen.

"I…uh…" she mumbled, as Castle slid one leg down her left side, stretching out on top of the comforter, his body gradually surrounding her - just as he had worked his way into her life and wound himself around her heart.

Jeez, Kate. _Focus!_

"I'm looking over the autopsy report first to see if it tells us anything more about the physical evidence we should be looking for in that apartment."

"So, Ryan said he was shot at point-blank range," murmured Castle, reading over her shoulder while he trailed his fingers ever so lightly up and down Kate's right forearm.

Her heart joined her stomach in the fluttering stakes, a cloud of feather-lite butterflies ghosting her insides as she tried her hardest to listen to what Castle was saying and form a coherent reply.

"Yes. Right. Point-blank," she repeated, gathering her wits. "There was a small contusion ring around the entry wound, consistent with the 9mm .35 caliber round the ballistics expert suggested was used. In addition, there was greyish-black smudging around the entry point, where a large amount of gunpowder was deposited into the wound. Both factors point to the gun being held in close proximity to the victim when the shot was fired. Say less than the width of the desk away, though not in actual contact with the skin, since there was no tattooing present and no muzzle mark."

Castle nodded silently, his arm stroking slowed to almost no movement at all as he listened to the brutal facts as Kate read them out.

"This was an execution, Castle," Kate said quietly, looking back over her shoulder at him. "The victim never stood a chance."

He squeezed her knee and then reached under her arm to turn the next photograph over.

"The exit wound was large and ragged," Kate read out, "with particulate matter, brain tissue, and bone fragment distributed across a section of wall a meter in diameter. So, that was the wall directly behind the desk," Kate added grimly, picking up the most graphic photograph of the set and then dropping it back onto the bed.

"Right_, so_…Maddox waits for this guy – let's say it's Smith – at his desk, and then he forces him to open up the safe, takes out whatever it is he came for…"

"Montgomery's file, most likely," added Kate.

"Right, and then…he makes him sit down at the desk so he can kill him?" asked Castle, his tone conveying his puzzlement.

"We don't actually _know_ that Maddox sat at the desk, only that he switched the desk lamp on. He could have been hiding behind the drapes for all we know."

"Yes. But why make Smith sit down at his desk to shoot him in the head?"

"Made him easier to control, maybe? Once he's wedged between the desk and the wall in that chair, there's definitely less room for maneuver," Kate pointed out.

She handed him a copy of the crime scene sketch prepared on site by one of the investigators to illustrate the proximal position of the body in relation to the layout and logistics of the room.

"I suppose," said Castle, skeptically.

"Something's bothering you about that. Why?"

"It just seems off, somehow. Too controlled. Too measured."

"Rick, this guy is like the _iceman_. He smirks while he's delivering a beat down, nothing seemed to phase him, and no amount of physical exertion seemed to make him even the slightest bit out of breath or even begin to break a sweat. He took every move I laid on him without flinching and then he just hit back even harder."

"You make him sound…I don't know, invincible or superhuman, Kate," said Castle, feeling supremely uncomfortable even discussing this.

"Then my description is accurate, because that's exactly how he seemed to me."

* * *

Kate appeared to be lost in thought for a moment.

"You know, Maddox said something kind of strange when we were up on that roof. I wasn't really in a position to give it much thought at the time. But, while we were struggling, I asked him to tell me who was behind this, and he told me I was wasting my time. That I had no idea what I was up against. Before I launched myself at him one last time I told him neither did he, and that's when he more or less threw me over the side of the building."

Castle sucked a breath in through his teeth and rubbed his hand over his jaw in discomfort, but he managed to refrain from actually saying anything critical.

"Stupid of me, I know," acknowledged Kate. "But it was a heat of the moment thing. Anyway, his reply was a little odd. He said, 'Actually we know exactly who we're up against'. At the time I just thought he meant me. But what if he actually meant Smith and whoever else Montgomery knew that might be in on this? What if the reason he had him sit down at that desk was because he had a message to deliver from whoever hired him? Or…or he threatened him to get more information out of him before he shot him. And why didn't he kill me when he had the chance, hmm?"

"I don't know, Kate. We're never going to be able to answer that unless…hell unless the guys' apartment was bugged or something. But it does seem to indicate that he knew exactly who his target was. As to why he didn't kill you…I have no answer to that. I'm only grateful that he didn't."

Kate nodded, and reached for the Witness Form containing the Housekeeper's statement.

Castle pinched the bridge of his nose and then took another sip of his wine to attempt to ease the creeping anxiety he felt every time they poured back over that day – the nagging fear that the outcome could have been so different for them. There were literally fractions between what they had now and what he might have lost, might never have gotten the chance to experience – fractions of seconds until Kate fell, fractions of millimeters left on that ledge before she let go, Ryan's arrival measured out in heartbeats, all of it too damn close to disaster for Castle's liking.

He took another swig of wine and tried to quiet his mind.

* * *

"Do you…uh…do you have the photographs showing the wall safe?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah. Right here," said Kate, shuffling the stack of glossy 8x10's and then handing him two of the images. One contained a shot of the open safe with the remaining contents still inside, and the other was a close-up of the door from the outside, dirtied up with fingerprint powder.

"Look at the lock," said Castle, holding the photograph up for Kate to see. "It's a biometric access safe."

Kate looked askance.

"Fingerprint activated," Castle explained. "That's why he needed Smith alive to get inside."

"And making him sit at the desk?"

"Time delay. A lot of these safes have a time delay if you don't manage to open them on the first attempt."

"But why wouldn't it have worked first time around?"

"Biometrics aren't failsafe. The technology can be a little hit or miss, given you're working with human skin and electronics. Maybe Smith was sweating or his skin was too dry or…or maybe they fought? And Smith resisted."

"There were no signs of a struggle in the room or on the body," said Kate, puncturing that theory.

Still far too many questions, and little way of finding out the answers while they were locked on the outside of this investigation, living off second hand scraps of information while the trail got colder all the while.

* * *

Castle fell silent, his mind drifting back to Kate's detailed description of that day on the rooftop of the Rosslyn Hotel.

"You have no idea how much I wish I had been there with you that day," he confessed, speaking so quietly that Kate had to strain to hear him. Guilt flooded his system, making him feel nauseated.

He put his wine glass down and encircled her body with his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder so that his cheek was pressed up against hers.

"Rick, you actually have no idea how grateful I am that you _weren't_ there that day. Because I'm pretty certain that we both wouldn't be sitting here right now, and _today_ is all I care about. That day is _gone_. It's in the past, and good riddance. _This_ is our new beginning. We just have to figure out a way to keep the two apart, because I don't want Cole Maddox anywhere near our future."

Castle paused to think about what Kate had just said. Her words made sense, her evaluation was solid, and it eased his guilt just a fraction, but it would never leave him completely. The knowledge that he'd abandoned her the day she came face-to-face with her sniper, that he had forsaken her in her hour of need, that feeling had lodged deep in his psyche causing a wound that would probably never heal. Because what had she said at the cemetery right before she got shot, right before Maddox had his first go at taking her life? She had looked right at him after she said, "And if you're very lucky you find someone willing to stand with you." And so he had failed her that day. Failed to be the partner she needed, the partner she deserved, all to protect his own tender heart.

"I love you so much," he said, with a rush of so much emotion straight from his heart. He kissed the top of her spine and then nuzzled his face against her neck.

Kate reached up with one of her hands to give his arm a reassuring squeeze, completely understanding what he was feeling.

"I know you do," she said quietly. "So help me catch this guy, and then let's make a future together, Castle."

_A/N: This chapter is kind of a two-parter, while they work through the evidence and formulate their next move. I hope you're still enjoying it? I can't believe this story has reached 40 chapters already! Thank you for all the alerts and reviews. They really make it all worthwhile. Liv_


	41. Chapter 41 A First For Me: Part 2

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 41 – A First For Me: Part 2_**

"So the guys seemed better when they left. You think they'll be able to put all of this behind them?" asked Castle, as he helped Kate formulate a list of questions they needed Ryan to find the answers to on Monday.

"In time maybe. I'll be happy if they can just get it together enough to work with one another as soon as Javi gets back off administrative leave. That would be a start. Hand me Detective Howard's Five, would you?" asked Kate, licking her finger to flip over another page on the lined legal pad she had on her lap.

"How's it going?" he asked, passing the folder to her, open at the copy of Ernie Howard's hand-written Detective Division form.

"Slowly. It's so frustrating trying to decode someone else's notes, and working off of diagrams and photos. I really need to get inside that apartment, and I'd love to interview the housekeeper myself. She's the only witness so far, and this Witness Statement is just…it's bland, Rick," complained Kate.

Castle kept quiet, reading the signs, knowing what these noises Kate was making meant. How this case was propelling her back towards the Precinct, to satisfy her natural curiosity if nothing else.

"More wine?" he asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"Hmm?" asked Kate, too caught up in what she was reading to focus on what he was saying.

"Never mind," said Castle, giving her shoulder a squeeze and then climbing off the bed to head out to the kitchen.

He turned the faucet on and filled a glass with water, downing it in one long gulping drag. His head was aching again, it was after eleven and Kate was showing no sign of slowing down. So he made them a snack of crackers, cheese, grapes and the roasted almonds he'd discovered she liked. Then he poured them two fresh glasses of rosé and loaded the whole lot onto a tray to take back to the bedroom.

"Oh, you're a lifesaver," said Kate, looking up from her note taking when he entered the room to give him one of her beautiful, beaming smiles.

"Hungry, Beckett?" he teased.

"Dinner was hours ago, Castle. Feed me a grape," she demanded, holding out her hand to him.

Castle laughed, but pulled a small bunch off for her and passed them over. Then he settled the tray between them on the bed and climbed back up beside her.

"This is fun. A midnight feast," she said, bumping his shoulder playfully and giving him a grateful smile as she munched on the fruit.

"Yeah, about as much fun as you can have in bed with a hot woman who insists on keeping her clothes on and surrounding herself with crime scene evidence," Castle observed dryly.

Kate shot him a questioning look.

"Okay, so it's miles better than hanging out in the break room at the Precinct, digging through that disgusting refrigerator for snacks that were made sometime this century, while we worked 'til all hours, that's for sure," said Castle. "How much longer do we have to go tonight?"

"We can stop whenever you want. I was just trying to get this straight in my head while it was still fresh."

"I know," said Castle quietly, stroking a hand down over the back of her head and combing his fingers through her hair. "I know."

"I…look I'm not falling back down the rabbit hole, Rick, if that's what you're worried about? Say the word and we stop this. You come first. I meant that. Life's for the living, right?"

"That is true. But sadly we're in a position where we may have to work at remaining alive. So we do whatever you think it's going to take to make that happen."

"You're the best partner I could ever have," said Kate, tweaking his cheek playfully, so grateful for his understanding, patient nature.

"Hey, I'm the _only_ partner you're going to have, so get used to it," he said with mock indignation.

"And you brought me more wine," she sighed, smiling at him. "Come on. Hand it over, Castle. Stop withholding favors," she teased, enjoying the twinkle she'd managed to put in his eye, even as they worked through this death filled, threat laden nightmare.

"Oh, that is one thing you will _never_ catch me doing - withholding favors from _you_? Are you kidding me?"

"But what if you need leverage?" asked Kate seriously.

"Leverage? Why would I need leverage?"

"Well, I don't know…uh…Okay, hypothetically speaking, say I go back to work and we have a clash of diaries. I have a work thing I have to go to, and you have a Black Pawn event Paula won't let you out of. How do you persuade me to go to your thing with you when I'd rather go to my event?" she asked, looking supremely pleased with the theoretical scenario she'd conjured up.

"_Right_," he said carefully, considering her point, "and this thing you've got going on, is it a plus one kind of event?"

Kate looked at him as if he had horns, amused and baffled at the same time.

"Is that important? I don't know. Yes, okay, yes, let's say that it is."

"Then I'd cancel on Paula and go with you to your thing. Problem solved."

"_Rick_," Kate sighed. "I was joking around just now. But that kind of thing is going to happen, and you can't just dump your own life to follow me everywhere. Particularly where your career is concerned."

"So, we dump your thing and go to mine. What does it matter as long as we're together?" he asked, layering some Pepper Jack on a cracker and taking a messy bite.

"I do _not_ want to see crumbs on my side of the bed," Kate complained, handing him a paper napkin.

"Anyway, I'm guessing this discussion has a whole lot more to do with you wanting to broach the subject of going back to The Twelfth than it has to do with Paula and her ridiculous social events."

"It's getting really late, Rick. Can we do this tomorrow?" asked Kate, busying herself with the crackers and cheese while Castle watched her closely as she so obviously tried to avoid his question.

"I'm not going to fight you on this, Kate, or be disappointed if you want to go back, if that's what you're worried about?"

Her head shot up and she stared at him, surprise and a painful uncertainty swimming in her eyes.

"Hey," he said gently, taking her hand. "I met and fell in love with the best of New York's finest. The most beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and successful Detective the NYPD has ever had the good fortune to employ."

"Don't forget frustrating and…what was it? Maddening?" teased Kate, toying with his fingers.

Castle cleared his throat.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you have a few choice adjectives to describe me as well," he said, somewhat uncomfortable with the reminder. "I just want you to know that I am so proud of you, Kate. And if it weren't for your life being under threat, I would urge you to never give up that job, because you're just too damn good at it, and so much of what you do there is part of why I fell in love with you. That job is a massive feature of the story of you and me."

Kate watched her partner while he told her these things. She felt that she had no right to ask him to watch her go back there again and possibly put her life at risk while he had to stand by and witness it. But he was offering her just that – the chance to follow her own path, to be her own person, no matter what it might cost him in the long run, and it made her feel incredibly humbled to be with someone so selfless and caring and generous.

"I just feel like I came here the other night telling you one thing, and now…"

"Kate, all I heard that night was that you wanted me. _Me!_ And then all I _saw_ was that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Nothing about any of this is a disappointment to me. It's…it's actually way more than I could ever have hoped for."

One of Kate's initial concerns had been that their new relationship would make her feel claustrophobic, that Castle particularly would smother her. He could be needy at times; loved to be around people and noise and fun, whereas Kate often craved quiet and space and time alone just to think. But it had turned out quite the opposite. They had been living together, hardly out of one another's sight, for five days solid now, and it had all been surprisingly easy. In fact, if she was honest with herself, the thought of going back to her own quiet apartment filled her with little joy at present.

But work, work was the question at issue here.

"That's…that's very generous and understanding of you, Castle," she acknowledged. "So, you wouldn't be upset if I arranged to see Gates, maybe talked over my options with her if she'll see me. I mean…I have no idea how the land lies with her right now. She obviously put the paperwork through or I wouldn't have received my discharge papers. But…who knows, right? And worse case we can always give Bob a call," suggested Kate, with a tentative smile and a quirk of her eyebrow.

Castle laughed, and leaned in to give her a kiss. "That's my girl," he crowed. "Shamelessly using my contacts already."

"So, you're really okay…with everything?" she asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Kate, I want more than anything for you to be happy. _Safe_ and happy, and if there's a way for you to achieve that working at the Twelfth, then I will invite Bob over for brunch tomorrow and we'll get this sorted right away."

"I called my dad," Kate blurted out, wondering if she was pushing her luck and dumping too much on him in one go.

"_Right?_" said Castle slowly, his tone a little cagey.

"And since tomorrow's Sunday, and we've been home all day, I thought we could maybe go out. For brunch. Tomorrow. So, I…uh arranged for us to meet my dad. I hope you don't mind?" she asked, wincing while she waited for his reaction.

"You did say we could work on our future, and I guess this counts in that direction, right?"

Kate nodded rapidly, trying to conceal her nerves and excitement.

"So, we're good? I said we'd meet him at Balthazar at noon. I…I know you like it there and it's only a block away and we could walk up to Union Square afterwards, maybe have a mooch around Barnes and Noble?" she rambled, selling way harder than she needed to.

"Kate," said Castle, gently taking hold of her shoulders to get her to stop talking and just look at him. "That sounds great. _Really_. Now would you just relax? Balthazar is a great idea. The guys know me in there, and if things don't go well with your dad I'm sure they can sneak me out the service entrance or something. Hide me in a dumb waiter 'til he's gone."

"Stop teasing," said Kate, tugging on his hand. She looked at him a little shyly. "This is important to me. I haven't…I mean, my dad…" she stumbled, failing to find the words.

"Kate, I get it and I'm honored. I'll be on my best behavior, I promise. Now, let's finish up this stuff so we don't fall asleep in front of him tomorrow."

* * *

So they went back to the reports and the photographs to make a last sweep of their list of questions.

"Do you think it would be rude to call Evelyn and ask to come by tomorrow? On a Sunday, I mean?" asked Kate.

"To ask her about the missing photograph?"

"Mmm."

"Thinking about the break-in, and talking about her wedding photographs, that's going to be upsetting for her whichever day of the week we do it. Do you think we can get Ryan to get the album released out of evidence so we could take it with us?"

"It'll have to go right back again. We don't want to break chain of custody. The album might turn out to be a vital piece of inculpatory evidence, if this thing ever goes to trial."

"Sure, but it might just jog her memory, seeing it again."

"I'll call Ryan in the morning, see what we can figure out and then I'll try Evelyn."

"Good. If we can confirm who was in that photograph and match it to the John Doe Howard is investigating…"

"Then maybe you'll finally be able to put a face and a name to the shady Mr. Smith," said Kate. "And then we can look into his background and a list of his contacts and we should be able to connect…"

"Kate," interrupted Castle, swallowing hard, his heart in his mouth. "Kate, there's something else. Something I haven't told you," he said, feeling a stab of guilt in the center of his chest.

"Wh-what?" asked Kate, suddenly wary of him.

"Smith gave me a number," he said quietly, his eyes searching her face for a reaction.

"A…a _phone number_? Castle, what the _hell_?" said Kate angrily.

"I only used it once. To contact him when we were working on that case involving Mayor Weldon. He told me never to call him again. That he would contact me."

"_How_…" she spit out in frustration. "How could you _fail_ to mention this before now? We've been talking about this stuff all day, first with Ryan and then…_us_? Rick, we said no more secrets."

Kate seemed more disappointed and hurt than angry, which bizarrely seemed like progress to Castle, since it meant she wasn't off and running like she would have been in the past, when she seemed to find it easier to shut him out rather than work through things with him.

"Because I'm _scared_, okay?" Castle confessed. "He's like this direct line to the dark side, and we've been so great. I just…I wanted to hold on to that a little longer. Get to Monday and face it all then. I wasn't ready to burst the bubble just yet. And it sounds dumb when I say it out loud, but there you go. Truth stinks sometimes."

Kate's face softened, and she reached up to touch his cheek tenderly.

"We pass that number onto Ryan in the morning. See if he can get a trace on it. But, Castle, you've got to have a little more faith in us."

"It's not us I'm worried about. Not in the way you mean anyway. We poke the dragon on this one, and a whole world of hell could rain down on us, Kate. Forgive me for wanting to hold off on that as long as possible. You still have _bruises_ that have barely healed, for Christ's sake."

"I do. I understand. But you said it yourself; we seem to have no choice in this thing. So we're going to have to confront it head-on. Let's leave it there for tonight. We're both exhausted. Let's get some sleep, okay?"

"Sure," said Castle, getting up to clear the tray of food and the files off the bed. His heart was still hammering over the confrontation.

They folded the comforter down together, and rearranged the pillows. Kate visited the bathroom and then they both brushed their teeth in thoughtful silence.

When they got into bed, Kate reached for Castle first, curling her body around him, she perched her chin on his shoulder, her mouth right by his ear.

"We're a great team, you know," she whispered in the dark. "I couldn't do any of this without you."

Castle rolled onto his back, slipping his arm around her. Kate rested her head on his chest and threw one leg over his, squirming until they both got comfotable.

"I don't want you doing _any_ of this without me, Kate. That phone number was a solid lead. It was dumb of me to think that I could keep it from you. I'm sorry," he said, sounding tired and contrite.

"I understand why you did it. We just…we need everything we've got if we're going to win this thing, Rick."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"Okay. Let's get some sleep. I'll let my dad punish you tomorrow," she teased, finding his lips in the dark for a lingering goodnight kiss.

"We're getting so much better at this," he said, his voice almost breaking as he brushed his lips over her jaw. "I can't…I don't ever want to give this up, Kate."

"Then we won't. Shhh, Castle. Sleep," said Kate, carding her fingers through his hair until she felt his arm slacken around her and his breathing fall into a slow, gentle rhythm. Then she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift off after him.

_A/N: So, daddy Beckett in the next chapter. Should be fun. Hope the case is bubbling along authentically in the background. That wasn't how I started out with this story, but it has kind of grown arms and legs, and I don't think there's really anyway to avoid it. Have a great day everyone. Liv_


	42. Chapter 42 Jim Beckett, Shipper Part 1

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 42 – Jim Beckett: Shipper Part 1_**

"Rick, wake up. We overslept," hissed Kate, nudging her hips up against Castle's back to shake him out of the sound sleep he had been enjoying over on the far side of the bed.

"What time is it?" mumbled the sleepy writer.

"After ten."

"Then we still have plenty of time. Where's the fire, Beckett?" he groaned, tugging her closer to him. "We're not meeting your dad until noon, and the restaurant's like, thirty seconds away."

"I have to call Ryan and then Evelyn, and shower and do my hair, and god, do I even have anymore clean clothes here?"

Kate was spiraling into a panic over their brunch date with her dad, and though Castle was nervous about meeting the man again now that he and Kate were in a relationship, he still thought she was being unbelievably cute.

"Rosa did the laundry on Friday. Your clothes are clean and ironed, Kate. I just forgot to bring them through from the laundry room. So stop panicking, woman, and come here," he said, rolling over to wrap his arms around her waist, lifting her up on top of him. "Wish me goodmorning," he growled.

"Your housekeeper did my laundry?" asked Kate, allowing Castle to nuzzle her neck.

His hips circled hers lazily, two large hands kneading her buttocks, and she felt her resolve starting to crumble.

"She's not my housekeeper, but yeah. Is that a problem?"

"No. No, it's just…"

God, Castle. Stop with the…oh yeah, _that_. Her eyes fluttered closed on a tide of sensation.

"Just what? She's been working for me for years, Kate. The woman hand washes delicates, separates the colors from the whites. She's not going to ruin your clothes and if she does…"

"Do _not_ say whatever you were about to say," Kate warned him, as her hips betrayed her and pressed hard up against him, grinding in an embarrassing display of needy desire.

Castle chuckled, amused at her spikiness over this, her discomfort with his wealth.

"Kate, I will buy you new…"

"Richard Castle, I warned you," interrupted bossy Kate, starting to lose her threatening edge when her partner began to tickle her, and the pointless argument morphed into a sexy, slow, good morning wrestling match that, yeah...ended in one naked writer being subdued by a very naked former NYPD detective, accompanied by a good deal of panting and moaning and liberal use of tongue.

* * *

"Okay, now we really _are_ late," Castle pointed out, shaving as fast as he could without nicking his skin.

"But totally worth it," smirked Kate, a relaxed, glowing, sated look on her face.

Castle glanced across at her as he rinsed off his razor, and he did a double take, his eyes lighting up at her beautiful, entirely delighted expression.

God, how he loved her.

She was drying her hair with one hand and trying to apply mascara with the other, doing neither particularly well, and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Time check?" asked Kate, a little breathlessly, snapping him out of his daze.

He tapped the screen on his phone.

"Fifteen minutes until blast off."

"Shit. Can you bring that laundry through for me and pick out something…"

"_Sexy?_" he suggested, with a lift of his eyebrows.

Kate shot him a look – part indulgent amusement, part murderous, as she pursed her lips to keep from smiling, knowing that would only encourage him more.

"Something _parent appropriate_," she corrected.

"My mother's practically seen you in your underwear, you know, so you might want to broaden the criteria" he pointed out jovially.

"Yeah, well, my dad isn't going to see you in your boxers anytime soon. So put some clothes on, stud," she said, pressing a towel to his naked chest, and going in search of her hair straighteners.

* * *

They made it to the elevator five minutes before they were due to meet her dad, and Kate had never been so grateful for her choice of a nearby restaurant.

"We're not running round there," said Castle, as she tugged impatiently on his hand, dancing on the spot as they watched the elevator light slowly climb the floors. "We go in there out of breath and you know what he's going to think," said Castle in all seriousness.

"That we just had sex?" Kate deadpanned, flicking her eyes to the side to check that Castle was still breathing beside her.

He coughed, and stuffed his fist into his mouth theatrically.

"Yeah, that…or that we actually _were_ _running_ to get to the restaurant on time. Shit, say that again, Katherine Beckett. Because that was _hot_," he added, following her into the elevator like a puppy dog, with the broadest grin on his face.

* * *

They hit the street at a fast pace, both tall and long-legged, and used to walking in sync with one another, their hands clasped loosely between them as they headed north-east on Crosby, before turning left into Spring Street. The sun was shining and the streets were packed with tourists and locals, all on their way to brunch or lunch or simply checking out the numerous jewelry and trinket stalls that lined the streets of SoHo on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

"Do I look okay?" asked Castle, running his hand nervously through his hair as he checked out his reflection in a store window.

He actually looked spectacular. White linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up, displaying his tan, muscular forearms, the top three buttons undone, showing off more than a hint of well-defined chest. His dark navy jeans fit and clung in all the right places, and Kate was having a hard time concentrating as she gratuitously checked him out before answering his question.

"If we didn't have this appointment, I would be striping those clothes off you with my teeth right now," said Kate, and she was only half-joking. "You look great, Rick. Handsome, solid, dependable - great boyfriend material," she joked, stopping to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Relax," she added, patting his chest. "You'll do fine."

"_You_ can talk," he scoffed. "You've been like a cat on a hot tin roof all morning, and he's _your_ dad," said Castle playfully, tugging on her hand.

"Hey, I've been living with your _mother_ for the last five days. You only have to have lunch with my dad, not move in with him."

"Are we fighting over our parents?" asked Castle, a delighted grin breaking out across his face. "This must be some kind of relationship milestone or something."

"I don't know about milestone, but it's certainly a minefield," quipped Kate dryly.

"I'm trying to tell myself what you told me last night - that your dad already likes me, so he'll be cool with us…eh…do I say _dating_, or…or _cohabiting_, or…? Kate, help me out here. What did you tell him on the phone?"

Kate slammed to a halt in the street, twenty yards from the front door of the restaurant, jerking Castle to a stop beside her.

"I eh…"

"_Yeah?_ Was it, "Dad, I have some good news. Rick is my boyfriend" or "Castle and I are a couple now"? _What?_" he asked eagerly.

Kate sighed and covered her eyes with her hand.

"I didn't tell him," she confessed, lowering her hand to look at Castle and gauge his reaction.

"_You_…? But I thought we agreed – relationship stuff on the phone and then 'hey dad, I resigned from the NYPD' face-to-face. Good news bad news, right?"

Kate shook her head uneasily.

"I don't know what I was thinking," she explained, sounding panicky and desperate. "The case had just bubbled up again and he sounded so pleased to hear from me and…" she rambled.

"What? You didn't want to _ruin_ his day? Was _that_ it? _Kate?"_

Castle looked distraught and disappointed.

"No. _No!_ Why would you even _think_ that?"

"Because it's _true?_"

"You think I'm _ashamed _of us? _Castle?_" Her voice got higher and people were starting to stare.

"I'm disappointed, Kate. I thought you were excited for him to know about us, and now… Does he even know that I'm coming?"

Kate huffed out a breath, but didn't answer his question.

"We're about to be late for brunch with my dad, Rick. Do you know how many of my previous boyfriends have had brunch or any other kind of meal with my dad? _Hmm?_" she challenged.

"_I_ don't know," he replied sullenly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, it's not a very big club, let me tell you. In fact, you get to be president, vice-president and secretary of that club all by yourself," Kate informed him, before storming off up the street.

"Kate, wait," he called after her, running to catch up.

He was back by her side in a few strides.

"I'm sorry. Look, I'm being an idiot, okay?" he said, sliding his hands up her arms and then tugging her up against him until she gave in and came willingly.

"We're going to be late," she mumbled against his neck, winding her arms loosely around his waist while Castle rested him chin on the top of her head, holding her close.

"Can I just say this before we go in there? I love you, Katherine Beckett, with all of my heart, and I want you to be proud of me. There is _nothing_ wrong with wanting that. I…I've never _had_ a father, Kate. So I don't _know_ what it's like to have a male role model in your life, and that kind of throws me for a loop sometimes, makes my expectations of them and myself a little screwy. Do you…can you understand?"

Kate's heart sank, completely unprepared for this turn of events she had never even considered before.

"Oh god, Castle, I'm so sorry. I didn't think," apologized Kate, shaking her head at her own thoughtlessness. "My dad already respects you, likes you. I wasn't kidding about that. He saw how you were with me when I got shot. How broken up. How much you cared. He even tried to get me to call you last summer. Thought I was making a mistake shutting you out."

"He did?" asked Castle in surprise.

He brushed his lips across Kate's forehead as he took in this new piece of information and allowed it to soothe him.

"Mmm-hmm. He's definitely a fan," Kate nodded, pulling back just slightly to look up at him. "And I love you too, Richard Castle, and you _do_, you make me _so_ proud. So how about we go in there and do this," she said, stretching up on tiptoe to kiss her partner.

* * *

As soon as they opened the door to Balthazar, a wall of sound hit them. The place was packed with diners enjoying Sunday brunch, the air full of the mingling fragrances of delicious food. There was already a line of people waiting for tables on the bench seating outside in the sunshine.

"Ricky Castle," said the Maître D', vigorously shaking Castle's hand and clapping him enthusiastically on the back. "Longtime no see. We thought you'd moved overseas or gone into witness protection or something," said the charismatic, handsome, Italian-American.

Castle laughed heartily.

"No, Marco. Just been a little busy lately," he explained, greeting the man warmly.

"No Alexis today?" asked the Maître D', looking admiringly at Kate.

"No, but I did bring my girlfriend. Marco, this is Kate," said Castle, proudly presenting her to his friend. "Kate, this is my good friend, and incorrigible ladies man, Marco Bertoli."

"Pleased to meet you, Marco," said Kate, graciously accepting the kiss the man planted on the back of her hand as he performed a deep bow in front of her. "Actually, I made our reservation, so it's under the name of Beckett today," said Kate, leaning over to look at the reservations book and point out their booking. "Table for three."

* * *

"Katie?" said a male voice behind them, startling her.

Kate and Castle turned towards the source of the voice simultaneously, their movements so perfectly in sync that they could have easily challenged for Olympic gold in the synchronized diving.

Kate's dad stood a couple of feet from them, slightly out of breath, an unvoiced question hovering on his face.

"Is there something I should know?" asked Jim Beckett, who had clearly arrived just behind them, and was currently taking in Castle's arm wrapped snugly around Kate's waist, while his daughter's hand was tucked neatly into the back pocket of her partner's jeans.

Kate disentangled herself from Castle and turned around to greet her father.

"Hey, dad," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek and then drawing him in for a warm hug.

When she pulled back Jim still looked like he was waiting for her to answer his question, but Marco was hovering with a stack of menus and a new set of guests had arrived behind them, so that they were now clogging up the entrance way.

"Dad, you remember Rick," said Kate at little inanely, drawing them all forward a few feet.

"Of course. Rick, good to see you," said Kate's dad, shaking Castle's hand firmly.

"Sir," said Castle formally, his posture a little stiff.

He felt as if he'd just been caught making-out in the back seat of the man's car with a sixteen-year-old Kate, instead of standing with his arm around his 32-year-old ex-cop girlfriend.

"Please, Rick, call me Jim," said Mr. Beckett, allowing his face to break into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides in a more pronounced version of Kate's laughter lines.

"Shall we go to our table and let these people in behind us," said Kate, indicating the little crowd hovering half-in-half-out of the door.

"Ready?" Marco asked her, and Kate nodded, following the Maître D' on a tour around the perimeter of the restaurant to a large booth on the back wall.

Kate looked stunning in a simple white cotton sundress, with her sunglasses perched high on her head holding her hair back from her face, minimal make-up, strappy tan leather sandals, and a simple gold chain around her neck which hung low enough to fall tantalizingly between her breasts. Castle was entranced by her, and judging by the looks both male and female diners were giving her, so was the rest of the restaurant.

He walked closely behind her, his hand falling possessively to the small of her back, as if she were a magnet and he was nothing more than a bundle of iron filings, helpless against her pull. He found himself irrepressibly drawn to her, despite the steady footfalls of her father at his back.

* * *

Kate slipped into the semi-circular booth first, and Castle shimmied in beside her. Jim Beckett slid into the opposite side, so that Kate sat between both men, facing the restaurant, while Jim and Castle faced one another in the dark green, leather booth.

"It's great to see you again, Mr…eh Jim," said Castle, nervously trying to fill up the silence that had fallen over the table now that they were all seated.

Kate seemed unconcerned by the lack of chat. Having opened her menu in front of her, she was already skimming her finger over the brunch selection.

Jim Beckett regarded Castle with a slow smile. He looked like a cat about to toy with a particularly panicky, edgy little mouse.

"Good to see you too, son," he replied. "You're looking well," he noted, before glancing over at Kate and adding, "Both of you."

Kate looked up from her menu, a finger pulled between her teeth, and a relaxed smile on her face. So sexy and innocent at the same time, thought Castle, fighting the urge to just sit and stare at her.

She looked so cool and in control, whereas Castle's heart was hammering, his mouth felt dry, and all the vocabulary he had ever learned seemed to have deserted his brain in one great mass exodus, like the flight of the Israelites from Egypt, and where the heck had that analogy come from?

"You look good too, dad," said Kate, patting his arm. "Been working out?" she teased, squeezing his bicep.

"Oh, you know me, Katie, natural athlete," he joked back, completely at ease. "It's all in the genes," he said, and Kate laughed melodically, the tinkling sound highlighted by her dad's deeper, slower, answering chuckle.

Castle took so much pleasure from watching the two of them spark off one another that he almost missed the next twist in the conversation.

* * *

"So, I saw you two out in the street just now, before we came in here," said Jim Beckett, clearly never one to shy away from an awkward topic of conversation.

Castle briefly wondered if Kate got her reticence from her mother, and he suddenly wished Johanna Beckett was sitting here with them, for his sake as much as Kate's.

"_Dad_," said Kate, a reproachful tone in her voice, not up for being played or toyed with then. "Just say it. Whatever it is. What's on your mind?"

"I already did," said Jim, fighting a smile, "but no one seems to want to answer me."

Kate gave him a look of patient annoyance.

"I thought maybe we could at least order before you gave me the third degree," she complained.

"What can I say, Katie bug, you were kissing your partner in the middle of the sidewalk. It's not like I was peering in through a window," Jim pointed out, clearly enjoying Kate's discomfort immensely.

Yeah, you'd have seen a whole lot more had you been looking in through _my_ windows, thought Castle, though he wisely kept this point to himself.

Kate sighed quietly, and dropped her hand beneath the table in search of her partner's. She briefly dipped her chin until it was touching her chest, gathering herself, and when she raised her head up again she was grinning fit to burst.

Castle felt her lace their fingers together, and then she raised their joined hands up onto the tabletop between them in a bold display of intimacy.

"Yes, we have something to tell you, as you've so clearly figured out already," her voice coated with both humor and slight irritation. "Rick and I are together, dad. That is…I mean, we're a couple," she said, turning to give Castle a shy smile, and then she leant over to rest against him.

Castle smiled hopefully at Jim Beckett, praying the man's silence meant the news was slipping down easily and wasn't giving him heartburn. He slid his free arm around Kate's shoulders and pressed a quick, grateful kiss to the top of her head, before squeezing her and then letting go to move back into his own space.

"_Well_, say something, dad," chided Kate, dropping her hand onto Castle's thigh beneath the table, clearly unwilling to relinquish all contact with him.

Jim Beckett nodded slowly to himself, his lips pursed tightly, and then he raised his eyes to his daughter's, before glancing briefly at Castle.

"What took you so long?" he asked his daughter, his face breaking into a broad smile as he reached over to give her a huge hug. "Well done, Katie," he whispered as he held her.

They rocked back and forth for several seconds before Jim let Kate go, and when she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. Castle watched them with a lump in his throat, admiring just how close they were, this little family of two, knowing exactly how much they had been through together, the tragedy and difficulties they had helped one another to survive and overcome.

He startled when Jim Beckett rose from the table to offer him his hand.

"Congratulations, Rick," he said, pumping Castle's hand firmly between both of his own. "You two deserve one another," he said, nodding to underline his point as he sat back down. "And I mean that in the nicest possible sense."

Kate and Castle both looked so relieved that Jim Beckett started to laugh.

"The look on both your faces," he said, smiling at them with unconcealed amusement. "You'd think we were here so you could tell me there's a shotgun wedding in the offing."

Way to go dad, thought Kate, groaning inside. Didn't take you long, did it?

"Oh, nnn…no, sir," stammered Castle, swallowing thickly.

Then he glanced round at Kate, a look of mild panic on his face.

Contraception. Shit, they'd been pretty busy these last few days and that subject hadn't even…

Kate seemed to read his mind and she leaned in close to whisper, "Don't _even_. He's _teasing_, just don't rise to it, and _I've_ got that covered by the way."

Castle visibly breathed out, and Kate wondered if the thought of getting her pregnant was the source of his anxiety or whether it was the thought of having to break the news to her father so early in their relationship.

But she couldn't ponder for long, because Jim Beckett broke into their thoughts again in his own inimitably blunt style.

"You both look so relieved. But, mark my words - don't leave it too long. You're not getting any younger, Katie," he teased, to a death glare from his daughter, "and that job of yours has taken up far too much of your life, as it is."

Cue angels singing, thought Kate. Could there _be_ a better lead into the next piece of news she had to break to her dad?

But just at that, their waiter approached the table to rhyme off a long list of specials that Kate barely heard. They were given a few more minutes to study the menu and the conversational caravan moved on. Dammit.

* * *

"So, how'd this happy turn of events come about?" asked Jim Beckett, looking from one face to the other.

The man's like a dog with a bone, thought Castle. He could see where Kate got her enquiring, obsessive mind from, that was for sure.

"It's kind of a long story, dad," said Kate, looking straight into Castle's eyes as she ran her nails up and down the inseam of his jeans, shooting a dangerous tingling up his thigh to his groin. Her gaze flitted to his mouth and back up again, in a move Castle found incredibly arousing.

He swallowed again, fighting down impure thoughts, while his girlfriend's father was seated opposite him.

"Yeah, four years is a heck of a long story, eh Rick?" he joked, giving the writer a sympathetic smile. "When we would go out for dinner as a family when Katie was a little girl, the waiting staff would have to come back to her three or four times before she could make her mind up what to order. But _four years_, Katie," he chided his daughter, shaking his head with a slow tut-tut. "You've got a good one there if he was willing to wait around for you that long."

Kate's cheeks flamed pink, and Castle felt her fingers tighten on his thigh. Jim Beckett had unwittingly stumbled onto a particularly sore point, a point of guilt and regret for Kate. So he boldly moved his hand to the small of her back and began rubbing in a light circular motion to convey all the things he knew she wouldn't want him to say in front of her dad.

"She was _totally_ worth the wait," said Castle enthusiastically. Then he frowned to himself when he thought about all the ways _that_ comment could be misinterpreted. "Eh…I mean…she's worth it," he repeated, running a hand through his hair in frustration at his own lack of eloquence.

"It's fine, son. I get your point," said Jim, trying to put him out of him misery.

* * *

The waiter returned and they managed to place their orders. Even Kate. Though when Castle said he was having the soft-shell crab she turned to look at him.

"There's soft-shell crab? Where was that on the menu? You know I love soft-shell crab," she moaned, her face endearingly petulant.

"It was one of the specials," Castle replied patiently.

"_Oh_," said Kate, not wishing to admit that she'd been so distracted at that point that she hadn't heard a word the waiter had said.

"You want to change your order? I can call him back," he offered quietly, brushing his lips ever so gently against her ear, teasing her, as he forgot all about her dad for the briefest of moments.

Kate shivered violently at the feather-lite touch, his breath warm against her neck, and then she pressed her fingers more firmly into his well-developed quad.

Castle smiled at the reaction he'd just gotten out of her. Her nipples had hardened visibly under the bodice of her light summer dress, and he had to force himself to look away.

"No, it's okay. I can share yours," she said, giving him an impish grin.

"Oh, don't let her start stealing food off your plate, Rick," warned Kate's father. "Best lay that ground rule right from the off," he advised. "She claims not to feel like eating much, and before you know it she's helped herself to half your fries," he chuckled.

"Oh, I think we're a little late with that rule," sighed Castle, never taking his eyes off her. "She's been stealing my food from day one," he informed her dad, looking at Kate with unabashed adoration. "Should have known that meant she loved me from the start," he said boldly, watching Kate's eyes widen and her lower lip slowly being drawn between her teeth.

Jim Beckett remained silent for once, just watching his daughter and the writer come to terms with this new openness they seemed to be trying out on one another, perhaps bolder in front of someone else than they would have been if it were just the two of them.

* * *

The waiter arriving back at the table with their drinks broke the Castle-Beckett staring match. And though Castle would have killed for something a little stronger to settle his nerves, he'd order a bottle of sparkling water for the table in a show of solidarity with Kate's dad. They hadn't discussed alcohol protocol in advance of the meal, so he thought it safest to stick to soft drinks this time round until he could ask Kate what she preferred to do.

"I'd like to propose a toast," said Jim heartily, once all their glasses were filled. "To Rick and Katie. May you find as much happiness together as your mom and I did, sweetheart" he said, raising his glass to them both, and then clinking the highball with Kate first and Castle second.

Kate and Castle turned to one another to kiss their own glasses together in completion of the circular tradition.

"To us," they said simultaneously, their voices quiet, intimate. A flicker of shyness passed between them, mingling with the deep, deep love they both felt for one another in that moment.

"I'm delighted for you both," said Jim sincerely. "I hope you make each other very happy."

* * *

The words were barely out of Jim Beckett's mouth before Kate's cell phone started to ring. She drew it out of her small clutch and looked down at the screen.

"It's Ryan," she said, instinctively grasping Castle's forearm.

"Do you want to…?" Castle started to say, moving to let her out of the booth.

"Dad?" asked Kate, seeking her father's permission out of politeness, since it was a Sunday and they were supposed to be enjoying some quiet family time.

"Go, Katie. Do what you have to," he said, used to years of her ducking out of family dinners and long-planned lunches cut short. "Rick and I will be fine. Won't we Rick?" he asked, a smile playing behind his eyes. "Go. Go," he added, shooing Kate out of the booth.

She turned one last time as she accepted the call, and caught Castle's uneasy gaze. She winked at him in a show of solidarity, before turning away en route to the front door, with a "Hey, Ryan. What have you got for me?"

And then there were two…

_A/N: Okay, *prepares for backlash by hiding under her desk* I know that was mean, but seriously, 4600 words and they haven't even had their entrees yet. I just had to pause for breath here. Hope you don't mind too much. Let me know if you're enjoying Jim? Love to hear your thoughts. Liv_


	43. Chapter 43 Jim Beckett, Shipper Part 2

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 43 – Jim Beckett, Shipper: Part 2_**

"So, how's she doing? And don't soft-soap me, son. I'm too long in the tooth for that," said Jim Beckett, switching all of his focus to Castle the minute the leaded glass and wood door of the restaurant swung closed behind his daughter.

"Good, actually," said Castle, pleased to be able to share a positive truth with this man for once. "She's been…_yeah_, better than I could ever have hoped for," he admitted honestly.

Castle nodded his head silently, absorbing this realization for himself as much as confirming it for Jim, his eyes still trained on the faintly oscillating door.

"When Katie said on the phone that she had something to tell me, I just assumed it was about Johanna's case. That's been the only big news I've gotten out of her over the last few years. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear something good for a change."

Castle felt genuine sorrow for the man sitting opposite him, who had had the love of his life so brutally ripped from him 13 years ago and had more of less lost his daughter right along with her, such had been the all-consuming nature of Kate's crusade for justice. But much as he felt empathy for Jim Beckett, he still believed he had an obligation to clarify the current situation for the man.

"I don't want to mislead you here, sir," said Castle, feeling his jaw tighten up without Kate's presence by his side. "You asked how this change in our relationship came about. Well, it wasn't all hearts and flowers. I just want to be clear about that."

"_Oh?_" asked Jim, his curiosity piqued.

"No, it was..." Castle paused, weighing his options, wishing he and Kate had discussed just how much detail she wanted her dad to know in the event that Castle was cornered alone with him like this.

He cleared his throat, decided to err on the side of caution. Disagreements over this particular subject had caused them enough angst to last a lifetime, and since a lifetime was what he hoped to have with her…yeah, less would just have to be more.

"I'll let Kate fill you in on the details, but there _has_ been some movement in the case, and…"

Castle looked down at his hands, picking over the pin-sharp memories of that day to select a show reel of edited highlights he could share with Jim Beckett without upsetting the man's daughter or ruining their first brunch together.

But before he could say anymore, Mr. Beckett himself intervened.

"I know Katie keeps things from me, son. If that's what you're worried about?"

Castle startled. Did all Becketts have mindreading powers, because Castle was fairly convinced Kate could read his on occasion? Maybe it was a family trait, like the good genes he'd joked about earlier? Kate certainly had good genes, no one could deny that, and she looked great in jeans too, he thought as his mind drifted off point for a second.

"She thinks she's protecting me, shielding me. I know she worries that I'll…" Jim Beckett paused, took a sip of water and then placed the glass back down on the table in front of him. A bead of condensation ran down the side of the glass, and he caught it with the tip of his finger, swept it back up towards the rim and then caught another one.

Castle waited him out, sat in patient silence just watching his partner's father figure out in his own mind what needed to be said.

"She's shared my addiction with you, I assume?" he asked quietly, looking up from his glass to meet Castle's steady gaze.

Castle nodded, silent and serious, admiring Jim Beckett even more today for his honesty and complete lack of obfuscation. The man cut right to the chase, and Castle found that quality profoundly refreshing. He and Kate could learn a thing or two about communication from her dad that was for sure.

"Look, I'm not stupid, Rick. I know the hell she's put herself through chasing justice for her mother. The toll it's taken on her personal life. So, what is it this time?"

Castle blew out a breath, and glanced nervously towards the door.

"Her sniper," he confessed, quietly enough that Jim Beckett had to lean forward across the table, partly relying on lip reading to understand him.

"Her…?" he choked on the second word, and his face visibly paled a little. He reached for his water glass again.

Castle nodded, unwilling to repeat the word as if just mentioning the man, even in these vague terms, would summon him back amongst them.

Kate hadn't been gone long, but she was out in the street, alone for the first time in five days. For the first time since Cole Maddox had taken a second shot at killing her, and it made Castle extremely uneasy for her to be out of his sight even for this short amount of time.

He fought down the churn in his gut to focus on Kate's dad.

"We got a lead, and I tried…god knows I tried, sir. You have to believe that I did."

"Rick, don't think that I don't know what you've done for my daughter, how you've tried to protect her. Why do you think I came to see you that night over a year ago, when we'd never even met before? Hmm? I came because I knew that if Katie would listen to anyone, then she would listen to you. I came because I'd never heard my daughter talk in such glowing terms about any other friend, male or female, before. I knew way back before that awful summer how she felt about you, Rick, even if she was too scared, or too stubborn to acknowledge it to herself. I'm just sorry that it's taken this long to bring you two together. But I have to say I admire your staying power, son."

"But I failed you. I went to her apartment to get her to drop the case and…"

Castle scrubbed his hand over his mouth, remembering that night like it was yesterday – their argument, his cowardess, the missed opportunities.

'_For the last three years I've been running around with the school's funniest kid, and it's not enough anymore.' 'And what about you, Rick?' 'I'm your partner. I'm your friend'_.

Pathetic.

"And if I'd just had the guts to tell her how I felt…then maybe, _maybe_ we wouldn't have ended up in that cemetery that day, and maybe Kate wouldn't have gotten shot, and maybe Roy Montgomery might still be alive."

"Rick, you have to stop. None of this is your fault. My daughter is stubborn and driven. Always had been. When she was a teenager no one could tell her anything but she'd have to put her own spin on it, do it because it was _her_ idea and nobody else's."

Castle chuckled wryly, recognizing a little of the Kate he was describing.

"But I sense things might be different with you; that you're a team. She values your opinion. Am I right?"

"I believe we have a strong partnership. Doesn't mean she always listens to me though. This time around, I didn't let the chance go by. I told her that I loved her and I outright asked her to walk away, and…she just plowed straight at it anyway, said it was _her_ life and it wasn't up to me to decide."

Castle hated the feeling that he was telling tales out of school, but Kate's father had a Svengali-like effect on him. The pull of the father figure he so often felt was lacking in his life, the calm, forgiving voice, and he harbored a faint hope that the man might tell him something, something profound that would help him navigate this terrifyingly wonderful new chapter with Kate. Because aside from Richard Castle, only Jim Beckett came close to knowing this woman as fully as he did.

"Let me tell you, son, there are times in this life when we have to do things for the ones we love even when we know that they don't want our help, even when we know that they'll push back. But we do it because we know it's the right thing to do, and…" he smiled ruefully, changing tact. "You know, Katie reminds me so much of Johanna when you talk about her. So stubborn and proud and driven by a need to do what's right, regardless of the personal cost. That was her mother all over."

"How did you…? I don't want to pry, so please don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to. But, how do you cope with that, _deal_ with it?" asked Castle, genuinely seeking his advice.

"I learned over time that her bark was worse than her bite," said Jim, his mind drifting off to somewhere deep inside, reliving past memories for a moment or two. "Katie's exactly the same. You said that you'd let me down, Rick. Nothing could be further from the truth. I see the light in my daughter's eyes, a light I last saw when she was about eighteen years old, and I _know_ that _you're_ the one that put that light there. So, I have no right to ask you for anything, but if you'd oblige me…"

"Name it and it's yours," said Castle without hesitation.

"Support her when you think it's the right thing to do. But, fight her tooth and nail until she gives in when it isn't. This is not just about _her_ life anymore. This is your lives, _yours_ and hers, so claim it Rick. I'd say you've earned the right. Claim your place in it, and show her what it means to live and to love, not just exist for some warped sense of justice. Because if I had the chance over, that's what I'd do for Johanna."

Castle nodded solemnly and then let out a nervous bubble of laughter.

"I don't know. She can be pretty scary, your daughter," he admitted, with a low chuckle.

"Let me tell you a story, Rick. When Katie was a baby, and just starting to talk, what do you think her first words were? Hmm? Mamma, papa?" Jim shook his head, eyes twinkling. "Her first word was '_no'_, closely followed by, '_my way'_. She'd yell, '_No! My way'_ and stamp her little feet, face getting all red and furious. Used to crack me up. But it drove her mother crazy, because those two were _so_ alike."

"You raised an extraordinary woman, you and your wife."

"Don't be blinded by her, Rick. You two seem pretty solid. Just make sure you keep things equal between you. You're more than a match for her, and that's exactly what Katie needs in her life – an equal. Someone to love and respect her, who she can love and respect in return."

Kate chose that moment to reenter the restaurant, and Castle was so focused on the advice Jim Beckett was giving him that he missed her approach until a set of long, cool fingers closed over his arm.

_A/N: Okay, boys and girls, let's take a quick commerical break here. Most of the next chapter is already written, so I'll post that one later today or tomorrow. Everyone seemed to love Jim in the last chapter. I'd be interested to hear what you thought of their more serious discussion. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Liv_


	44. Chapter 44 Jim Beckett, Shipper Part 3

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 44 – Jim Beckett: Shipper Part 3_**

**[Recap]**

"_You raised an extraordinary woman, you and your wife."_

"_Don't be blinded by her, Rick. You two seem pretty solid. Just make sure you keep things equal between you. You're more than a match for her, and that's exactly what Katie needs in her life – an equal. Someone to love and respect her, who she can love and respect in return." _

_Kate chose that moment to reenter the restaurant, and Castle was so focused on the advice Jim Beckett was giving him that he missed her approach until her long, cool fingers closed over his arm._

* * *

"Hey," she said lightly, sliding into the booth beside him, waving for him to stay where he was, rather than getting out to let her back into the middle.

Castle made a move to scoot further round to give her more space, but she stopped him with a hand to his knee, keeping him close. She smelt of summer and fresh air, and his head was soon swimming with the overwhelming sensation of having her so close to him again.

"I'm sorry that took so long. Ryan…chatterbox when he gets started," she lied, and Castle saw it all. "So, what were you two girls gossiping about while I was away?" she asked cheekily.

Castle looked at Jim, and the man looked right back at him, a relaxed expression on his face, and a silent pact formed between them.

"We were just comparing notes, honey. Isn't that right, Rick?" he asked jovially.

"Why does that make me nervous?" asked Kate, looking from one man to the other.

"Now you know how _I_ feel when you and Alexis tag-team against _me_," said Castle, relaxing again with Kate's reassuring presence back by his side.

The waiter arrived with their order, putting a halt to the conversation while their food was served and they started to eat.

* * *

"So, Jim. How's work? You busy?" asked Castle, trying to get them back onto lighter topics.

"Rick, I appreciate your attempt at small talk, but I'd much rather hear about _your_ work," he said, so phlegmatic and laidback that Castle found himself a little in awe of the man, of his easy manner, his quiet control.

Jim cut his eyes to his daughter.

"How's the caseload, Katie? Things must be pretty busy at the Twelfth if Detective Ryan's calling you on a Sunday," he probed, giving away nothing of his discussion with Castle.

Kate glanced at Castle, and he wondered for a brief moment if she had expected him to tell her dad about her resignation while she was outside on the phone.

He shook his head imperceptibly, communicating the rest with his eyes. Kate leant closer to him, and then she curled the fingers of her left hand around the back of his neck as she drew him in for a sweet kiss.

Castle felt his system react with an overpowering jolt of toe-curling responsiveness.

"What was tha…?" he started to ask, but Kate just skimmed his lips with the tip of her finger and turned her attention back to her plate.

If that was the reward he got for keeping his mouth shut, he'd definitely learn to do _that_ more often.

"I actually have something to tell you, dad. About work," Kate added, feeling under the table for Castle's hand.

"Is it…Rick said you got a lead in your mother's case. But he wouldn't tell me what."

She shot her partner a grateful look.

"Yes, we got a lead, but it's not about that. I mean it is…in a way, but only…"

"_Katie?_" prompted her dad gently, an encouraging smile on his face.

She sighed, and looked at Castle again. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue.

"So, I pursued this…this lead we'd found, even when Rick warned me that I shouldn't," she admitted with a long exhale, squeezing Castle's hand under the table. "Esposito and I…we…uh…went a little off grid, decided not to tell the Captain what we were doing. Anyway, I…em...look it ended badly, and we both got a suspension. Long and short, dad, I resigned. I gave up my job," Kate confessed.

She sank back against the leather booth seating, pressed her napkin to her lips and waited for her father's reaction.

Castle squeezed her hand and then let go, picking up his silverware to carry on eating, waiting for Jim's inevitable questions.

"You resigned? Well, I wasn't expecting that," said Jim Beckett, laying down his fork to take a drink of water, the surprise evident on his face. "And…are you _sure_? I mean you've given so much to that job, Katie. Are you sure you're really through with it?"

Kate laughed nervously. "No, actually. I mean, I'm sure about why I did it at the time," she said, turning to look at Castle again, her eyes seeking his, apologizing and reassuring. "I made a choice," she said, turning back to face her dad. "And I stand by that choice. But, at the time I thought it was an all or nothing thing. Turns out it's not like that at all," said Kate, giving her partner's hand another grateful squeeze. "This guy is still out there, and… Look, I don't even know if I can go back anyway."

"But you're considering it?" her dad asked.

"Captain already processed my resignation, so I could be too late. But we've been talking it over, yes," said Kate, giving Castle his place in the decision as she leant back to rest her shoulder against his.

"And what's your take on of all this, Rick?" asked Jim Beckett, putting him back on the spot.

"I've told Kate what I'll tell you, that I want her to be happy. _Safe_ and happy, so if that mean going back to Homicide, then she has my full support. And if she wants to design shoes for a living, or open a coffee shop, or…or…" he floundered for another suggestion.

"Write best-selling crime fiction?" suggested Kate, drawing her lip between her teeth as she teased him, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Now that…_that_ I might have a problem with," said Castle, grinning at her. "I think one temperamental crime writer in the family is more than enough, don't you?"

Kate felt her cheeks go warm at the mention of family, and her heart lurched in her chest. She flicked her eyes to her father's face, but he looked completely unperturbed, just smiled easily back at her as cool and calm as ever.

"Why don't you leave the crime writing to me, honey," he murmured to Kate. "But anything else, and she has my full support," he told Jim, kissing the man's daughter on the cheek.

Jim Beckett looked at his daughter, and though the words were left unspoken, the message was clear: '_See what you've got there? He's a good man. Don't mess this up.'_

* * *

An easy silence descended on the table as they carried on eating, all three lost in their own thoughts. Jim eventually finished his entrée and put his silverware down.

"If you'll just excuse me, I'm going to visit the men's room," he said, dropping his napkin beside his plate and rising from the table.

"How're you doing?" asked Kate, as soon as her dad was out of earshot.

"Fine. But never mind me, what about Ryan? You were gone a longtime."

"_Really?_ So, he didn't grill you about your intentions or anything?" asked Kate, sounding amused but disbelieving.

"_Kate,_" warned Castle.

She gave him a look that said she wouldn't move on until he answered her.

"He was a pussy cat, okay. Kind, generous, gives great advice - everything you could hope for in your girlfriend's dad. Now, tell me what Ryan said."

"Don't think this is over, Richard Castle. I _will_ want more details," she threatened, losing the argument when she pressed her mouth against his, nudging him with her nose and the slide of her tongue over his, and then she smiled helplessly, their lips still brushing as Castle's fingers gently massaged her neck.

"There might be one or two things you could do to persuade me to talk. We'll see," he promised, kissing her lightly once more and then letting go.

"Yeah, so, Ryan," said Kate, stabbing at a little piece of soft-shell crab on Castle's plate, stealing it with a cheeky poke of her tongue in his direction. "He was a little resistant to the…eh evidence retrieval at first. But Sunday's a quiet day down in Property, so he's going to check who's on and then call me back. But even if he manages to log it out, we won't be able to remove it from the sealed bag. You know that."

"Yes, but if she sees that we have it, might jog her memory. Do you even know where the print was found? I mean we've been assuming it was on the cover or the spine, but maybe it's on the page we need. Maybe Maddox left it there when he worked the photograph loose."

"And that would mean that the album would be preserved open at that page," said Kate, seeing where Castle was coming from. "I still can't get a hold of Evelyn. That's why I was out there so long. I've left another message, and I asked Ryan to try her too. She could have left the city for the day with the girls for all we know. We'll just have to wait. See if she calls back."

Jim Beckett returned to the table at that point, so Kate and Castle dropped the topic.

* * *

"So, who's ready for dessert?" asked Castle, moving them onto safer ground. "I'll share an apple tart tatin with you," he whispered in Kate's ear, nudging her playfully with his shoulder.

"Make it à la mode and you've got a deal," said Kate, bumping him back.

Jim Beckett watched them with a fond expression Castle had never seen before. It softened his demeanor, chipped at his, sometimes, stern edges, and transformed him into the dad he knew Kate loved so much.

"Just coffee for me, I'm afraid. Got that athlete's physique of mine to think about," he joked, patting his stomach and earning himself a peel of laughter from Kate.

"Yeah, I know someone else who could do with thinking like that," teased Kate, laying a hand on Castle's abdomen and squeezing.

In truth, she only felt the firm play of his abs under her fingers, and the sensation set her insides shivering in anticipation. But Castle's indignant reaction was worth the cruel joke.

"Oh, we're gonna _see_ just who's got the firmer core a little later, Miss Beckett. Count on _that_," he growled into her ear, low enough that her dad couldn't hear.

Kate squirmed and tried to push him away, but he snaked his arm around her waist, tugging her towards him so that he could blow a loud, sloppy raspberry against her neck.

"Parent present," Kate giggled, managing to shove him off this time.

"Oh, I've seen far worse from your cousin Cindy and her boyfriend Hank. Those two really need to get a room," drawled Jim.

Kate let out a startled laugh and Castle looked to her for help filling in the blanks in his Beckett family knowledge.

"Cindy is…what would you say, dad? Well, she doesn't need to get the implants, that's for sure," said Kate, referencing an old private joke between her and Castle, "and she's fond of wearing the skimpiest clothes she can lay her hands on. So, yeah, I could see how that might play out."

"I like the sound of her already," joked Castle, wiggling his eyebrows for comic effect.

His humor earned him a hearty laugh from Jim and a dig in the ribs from Kate.

* * *

"Hey, you said _share_," complained Kate, when dessert had been served and Castle swiped her spoon out of the way with his fork to snag a sizeable piece of apple tart.

"No, Kate. I said I would let you share _my_ apple tart tatin. There's a difference," he explained, as if talking to a five-year-old Alexis.

"Castle, that's not what you said," Kate retaliated, scooping up the lion's share of the ice cream in an act of childish revenge.

Tiny black flecks of vanilla pod decorated the puddle of melting ice cream, but Castle seemed more intent on devouring as much of the French apple pie as he could lay his hands on.

"Just looking out for your figure, dear," he teased, and Kate pursed her lips in amusement, knowing there was no way he would chance a comment like that if her dad weren't there to protect him and referee the fallout.

"You are _so_ not getting any later," she whispered against his jaw.

"And since your figure is _so perfect_, I saved this last piece for you," he said, sliding the plate in front of her theatrically, back-peddling so fast his wheels were smoking.

"Whipped," she murmured, spearing the caramelized apple and fine pastry with her fork.

She made a show of slowly licking her lips, and then slid the morsel of dessert daintily into her mouth, feeling a sense of powerful triumph knowing that Castle was watching her and that she was most likely getting him all hot and bothered with her little display.

"Okay, kids," said Jim Beckett, breaking into their sensual power play. "That was fun. But I'm afraid I have a meeting to get to later this afternoon."

Kate looked panicked for a second and Castle caught the look before she managed to get her face back under control.

"Got a couple of new members joining us, and I promised I'd take this one guy under my wing until he can find himself a sponsor," her dad clarified.

Kate's shoulders visibly dropped, and Castle wished he could take that flash of panic away for her, stop it from happening altogether. He rubbed the flat of his hand between her shoulder blades instead, and Kate rolled her shoulders back in response, easing her tense muscles and bruised flesh.

* * *

Castle called for the check shortly after, insisting on paying. Mr. Beckett promised that next time lunch would be on him, and then they all slid out of the booth and headed for the front door.

Marco made a great fuss over Kate and her dad, before dragging Castle off to one side and hissing, "Ricky, you sly old dog. Just how on earth did you land _her_?"

Castle looked at the tall, slender line of Kate's retreating back, the slow swing of her hips, her well-formed, golden calf muscles, and then he turned back to the Maître D' with a grin on has face.

"Actually, Marco, she landed me," he said proudly, patting the suave Italian on the chest in a consoling manner, and then he walked out the door of Balthazar after his beautiful, smiling girlfriend with a new swagger in his step.

* * *

The sun was still shining brightly, following a high arc in the piercing blue sky, and Kate lowered her sunglasses onto her face as soon as they hit the sizzling sidewalk. The cool of the restaurant vanished in an instant, to be replaced by an oppressive, heavy heat.

Castle slid his hand round her back, coming to rest against her waist, enjoying the feel of her warm skin through the light cotton of her dress. His fingers began kneading lightly on her hip and Kate let herself lean back against his chest as they prepared to say farewell to her dad.

"Well, Rick, it was a genuine pleasure," said Jim Beckett, firmly shaking Castle's hand and then drawing him in for a manly hug.

Kate stood off to one side smiling proudly at the two most important men in her life, her heart so very full.

"Thank you for lunch, son. And don't forget what I said," he counseled Castle, drawing an interested look from Kate.

"No, sir. And thank _you_. Always a pleasure," said Castle, his face so terribly serious as he clasped Kate's father by the shoulder.

"Katie bug," said Jim finally, hugging his daughter and pressing a lingering kiss to her hair. "You want to share a cab with me?" he asked, when they drew apart.

There was a moment's awkward silence when Kate and Castle realized at the same time that Jim Beckett assumed Kate was going back to her own apartment.

Castle briefly thought about letting her go, just to save any awkwardness, but then he thought about Jim Beckett's honest approach to life and he reached for Kate's hand instead.

Before he could summon the words to explain their living arrangement, Kate beat him to it.

"Actually, dad, I'm staying with Rick right now," she said quietly, dropping her eyes to the floor.

"_Oh_," was all Jim said in reply, the single syllable loaded with an obvious note of disapproval.

"Yeah, uh…Alexis and Martha…so there's…yeah, there's the four of us," added Kate needlessly, rambling just to fill up the awkward silence.

She was a thirty-two year old woman for crying out loud, and here she was making excuses for staying with her 43-year-old boyfriend, by citing his mother and daughter as chaperones. Ridiculous Kate.

"So, we're just," she jerked her head back in the direction of Castle's loft on the corner of Crosby and Broome.

"Right," said Jim, nodding thoughtfully. "And you don't think it's maybe a bit soon to be shacking up together?" he deadpanned.

"_Shacking_…?" Kate started to repeat, until she noticed her dad's enormous grin and the devilish twinkle in his eye.

"_Seriously?_" she said, shoving a hand against her dad's chest in frustration.

Jim laughed at his daughter's annoyance, thrilled to be able to surprise her in a good way for a change.

"Well, okay. You kids have fun now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he added with a wink, earning a groan of shame from Kate. "And let me know how it goes with the Captain once you make your decision, Katie?"

"I will, dad. Promise," said Kate, kissing her father's cheek one last time.

"You take good care of her, son," he warned Castle, with a stern glare that had the writer's eye growing large, before Jim Beckett's face crumpled into a warm smile and he punched Castle lightly on the arm.

"Sure will," said Castle, smiling back in relief.

Kate huffed by his side at this macho display, but allowed Castle to put his arm around her and tug her into his side.

They waved their goodbyes and then turned to walk away. Jim headed west on Spring Street, off in search of a cab over on Broadway, while Kate and Castle turned in the opposite direction on a reflex.

* * *

"So, you still up for that walk to Union Square?" asked Castle, referring back to Kate's outline plan for the day.

"Sure, if you are," said Kate, a little out of it, fingers lightly grasping her partner's side to hold on as they walked down the street with their arms around one another.

"You _know_ we're going the wrong way," noted Castle, without actually changing direction.

"Uh-huh," said Kate, grinning at their stupidity.

"So, we should probably…" said Castle, jerking his head back in the direction Jim Beckett had just gone.

"Yip," acknowledged Kate, still not making any effort to turn around. "But, first, I could really use a drink," Kate confessed, breathing out in relief.

Castle laughed out loud, and pulled her into a bear hug that lifted her off her feet as he spun her in a circle.

"Little Katie bug got punked by her old man. You should have seen your face," he laughed, mimicking her with his voice raised too high and squeaky. "_But, dad, Alexis and Martha are there too._ I'm surprised you didn't tell him you were sleeping in the guest room," he added, snagging her hand again.

"That can be arranged," said Kate, not thrilled at being teased for a second time.

"You know I'd just come find you," Castle told her. "There's no escaping me now, Beckett," he added, spinning her towards him and then splaying his hands against her back so that he could kiss her.

They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking Spring Street to passersby, enjoying the deepest, most passionate kiss Kate could remember. She fed off him - his warmth, his heart, his fun and his fear. He filled her up with such good things, filled her life, her heart, and yes, her bed too. And she loved him, god how she loved him.

People were staring, but they were too consumed by one another to notice or care. Need surged between them, heartbeats tripping over one another as they held on tightly, breathless and blind to the rest of the world...until Kate's phone started to ring.

_A/N: Three chapters to cover a Jim Beckett brunch. Phew, that guy can talk! I do hope we see more of him on the show. Thank you for the copious reviews. They're so encouraging. I had a bit of a wobble earlier this week, and I have to thank Vandi for talking me off the ledge. Girl you are a rock! Have a great weekend, guys. Liv_


	45. Chapter 45 Oh Captain, My Captain

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 45 – Oh Captain, My Captain_**

"Hey, Ryan. What's up?" asked Kate, leaning into Castle so that he could listen in to the call along with her.

Her partner spread his hands across the small of her back, holding her close so that their stomachs and hips were aligned as they stood pressed up against one another preparing to listen to Ryan's update.

Castle rested his chin on Kate's shoulder, fidgeting, and she had to fight the urge to shake him off – a knee-jerk reaction to his hovering that had become redundant in the last five days. All pretense that she no longer wanted him close to her blown out the water by her own hand.

He could feel the slight dampness that had gathered in the light fabric at the back of her dress. A bead of sweat slipped down between her breasts and Castle watched its slow descent greedily, aching to attack her smooth skin with his tongue. The temperature was approaching ninety degrees out on the street, so he walked her backwards into the shade of the building, and out of the flow of pedestrian traffic.

Kate pressed her hand to his chest, stilling him, and her brow knit together as she concentrated on the phone call.

"You got _what?_" she asked, shaking her head at Castle's questioning look and pressing the index finger of her free hand to his lips to keep him quiet.

Castle eased back to give them both some space, the air too sticky to stay pressed together for long. He decided just to let take Kate the call and wait for her to update him when she finished.

"From _Dispatch?_" she asked, her face as serious as Castle had ever seen it.

"Okay, we're gonna meet you there. No. No, Ryan, I want to. Montgomery, he'd want us to," argued Kate, and a chill crept up Castle's spine.

But Ryan didn't seem to be giving up.

Kate held her breath, tapping her foot impatiently, and Castle could hear what sounded like Ryan's tinny protests coming out of the phone's speaker. She finally let the breath out, and pushed her fingers into her eyes.

"Ryan, I _need _this," she said quietly, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, holding so much in.

* * *

When Kate ended the call she made no effort to explain what had happened. She just took Castle's hand and headed off in the direction of the loft, adopting a long stride in her tan sandals that he had to work to keep up with.

"Kate?" he asked, hoping for an explanation. Something.

"Just…keep up, Castle," she said, all trace of the soft, warm girlfriend he'd held up against him not two minutes ago now gone, replaced by fierce, determined, businesslike Detective Kate Beckett.

Castle fell in step beside her, eyes darting to her strong profile as they swerved tourists and sidestepped strollers en route back home. Home? Was that where they were going?

"Do you have your car keys with you?" Kate finally asked, breaking her all consuming silence.

The question was kind of stupid, but Castle stopped himself from pointing that out. They lived in the heart of Manhattan, took cabs, used the subway or walked wherever they needed to go. He never carried his car keys on him. She'd taken to slipping her fingers into his pants pockets to tease him or amuse herself, he couldn't tell which – so she should have known that the answer would be no. In fact, he could barely remember the last time they'd driven anywhere that hadn't involved her boxy old Crown Vic. Oh, Dr. Burke. Yeah, that was it. An image of Kate, smiling, happy and so beautiful as she stared in delight at his red Ferrari, appeared in his mind, making him ache.

"Damn. We'll just have go up and get them," she said, rounding the corner and steering them towards the entrance to his building.

Castle followed, obliging her unvoiced need for him to just shadow her in silence. He hoped that if he behaved just a little while longer she might take time out to explain where they were going and what they were doing.

"Hey, Eduardo," she said, raising her hand to Castle's doorman as she strode towards the elevator.

She was a moving target, and Castle watched Eduardo track her path across the lobby with his eyes. He looked at Castle, and Castle shrugged, just kept following her as he'd become so accustomed to doing over the last four years. Loyal and unquestioning.

"Detective Beckett. Mr. Castle," said the doorman, tipping his hat to them and bidding them a good day. The man had seen some things cross his lobby in the years he'd been working in the building, and this was no worse and no stranger than any other.

* * *

When the elevator doors closed and Kate still remained silent, a restless column of energy beside him, Castle finally cracked.

"Want to tell me where we're going?"

Kate looked at him as if she'd forgotten he was even there.

"Evelyn's," she replied, looking up at the display to track the floors as the elevator climbed upwards.

"She's back home then. Why was Ryan calling?"

"Turns out she was home all along."

"Then why…?"

"Ryan got a call from Dispatch. Evelyn and the girls were hiding inside a locked closet. She called 911 while we were with my dad to report an intruder."

Castle's eyes widened.

"Come on. Come on," said Kate impatiently, dancing on the spot.

"And…" Castle was at a loss for what to ask next.

"I just need to go over there, Castle. Make sure Evelyn and the girls are okay."

Castle nodded thoughtfully, on the point of asking her if that was the wisest thing to do, when she spoke again, blowing up his half-formed argument.

"For Roy," she added quietly, and then he understood, shut up, and started willing the elevator higher right along with her.

"Ryan's not wild about the idea, I take it?" he asked, hazarding a glance at her face.

"He's…the place is going to be crawling with cops. Second break-in in a little over a week, I wouldn't be surprised if top brass shows up."

Castle gave her a puzzled look.

"That's what we do…the police family, I mean. They'll close ranks over this, protect their own."

"You have every right to be there, Kate," said Castle, protecting _his _own. "Roy would appreciate you stepping up to help Evelyn and the girls. He trusted you."

Kate hummed noncommittally as the doors slid open and she stepped out onto Castle's floor.

"Do we know yet…I mean, was anyone hurt?"

Kate shook her head while she waited for Castle to dig out his key.

"We don't know, or no one got hurt?" he asked, hating that he needed her to clarify this point for him, she was so edgy and restless.

"Apparently Roy had some kind of a safe room installed. A reinforced closet or something."

Castle raised an eyebrow at her, and Kate nodded.

"Yeah, I know. So, she managed to herd the girls in there and call Dispatch. Ryan says she's badly shaken. But that's all I know."

"So what do you need from me?"

"Come with me? I need to go over there. Make sure they're all okay."

"And the police presence? You're okay with that?"

"This is about Evelyn, Castle. It's not _about_ me."

Her words sounded good, but there was a hesitancy in her voice that Castle wasn't used to hearing.

"As long as you're sure?"

"_Rick._"

"I'll go get my keys."

* * *

Kate went into the bedroom to grab her wallet with her I.D. inside. She no longer had her badge, so she would have to talk her way past the police line. I.D. of any sort might come in useful for whoever was in charge of the crime scene log.

"You good to go?" asked Castle, when she returned with her bag, her face still slightly flushed from the heat outside.

She looked serious, her jaw set firm, but still adorable in her summer dress and sandals, and Castle wished wistfully that they were on their planned walk up to Union Square, instead of heading over to Queens to comfort Roy Montgomery's widow.

Kate nodded, snapped a hair tie over her wrist and headed for the door.

* * *

They drove out to the Montgomery's house in silence. Castle was at the wheel, and Kate spent the time staring out of the windshield or fiddling nervously with her phone. She kicked off her sandals and propped her feet up on the dash, her red toenails a sharp counterpoint to the cream leather interior. The hair tie had long since made its way off of her wrist and into her hair, holding it back from her face in a low ponytail, while the wind whipped around her head, freeing sun-bleached curls in a halo effect around her as they flew along Queens Boulevard with the roof down on the Ferrari.

"I can't believe we're going back here again," she said eventually, breaking the conversational drought in the car.

"What, to Roy's old house?"

"No, this case."

"We can turn around. Go back home, cook dinner, watch a movie and fall in bed together. Leave this to the guys, Kate. Just say the word."

"You know I can't do that, Rick."

"Not true. You can do whatever you want, Kate."

"_Please?_ Just drive," she said, squeezing his arm in a manner she hoped was reassuring, determined to push on through this before she lost her nerve.

* * *

They pulled up a block away from Montgomery's house at 299 1st Ave in Forrest Hills. The street was choked with black and whites, police cruisers with cops sitting on the hood chewing the fat, while other cops roamed the front yard and sidewalk, talking to neighbors and rubberneckers, taking statements and recording names.

Someone had secured the perimeter, a first responder most likely. Yellow and black _Police Line Do Not Cross_ tape roped off the entire plot the Montgomery's house stood on, and it jerked and fluttered in the light breeze.

"You ready?" asked Castle, watching Kate do battle with something inside of her as she sat completely still in the seat next to him, her eyes trained on the crowd in front of the house.

"Hmm?" she asked, after a second or two, turning to look at him.

"We don't have to do this, Kate. It's okay to turn around and go home. Ryan's probably got things under control already."

"He was my Captain, Castle. My family. The man was like a father to me."

"I know, Kate."

"And in the end, no matter the mistakes he made, he gave his life for me. You were there. You saw what he did."

"I was. I know that."

"So you know I can't turn tail and run just because I'm afraid to confront a bunch of gossipy cops. I don't even know half these guys."

"You just…you seem so quiet. Like something else is bothering you."

"This case is coming after us, Rick. Inserting itself back into our lives whether we want it there or not. I feel bad for Evelyn, and I feel bad for us."

"We'll be fine."

"I know that. But she's been through so much already. This past year must have been hell for her, and I can't help but feel largely responsible for that."

"You're not the only one to blame here, Kate. I bear a good portion of that responsibility too," he reminded her, grasping her hand and dropping it onto his knee.

"Then back me up, and let's go in there."

* * *

Kate approached the uniform who'd been put in charge of controlling access to the scene with what she hoped was a friendly, confident smile on her face.

"Hi, eh, Officer Martinez," she said, reading off the man's badge. "I'm a friend of the family. Kate Beckett's the name. I'm here to see Mrs. Montgomery."

Never had she felt the lack of her badge more keenly.

The young cop looked her over, and then transferred his gaze to Castle.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. But I have strict orders not to let any unauthorized visitors through. I'm gonna have to ask you to step back."

Kate took a breath, tried to stay calm.

When Castle moved around her to intervene she made to grab his arm and missed.

"Officer Martinez, I don't think you quite understand. Captain Montgomery was our…"

"_Beckett!_ Beckett, over here," yelled Ryan, waving enthusiastically to Kate from the front door, in what was a well-timed, but completely out-of-character, intervention.

Kate pointed to the sentry cop and shrugged. So Ryan hurried down the steps from the front porch, jogged over to them and quickly sorted it out, explaining to the Uniform just who Kate was. Officer Martinez tipped his hat respectfully to Kate, and then raised the yellow tape to allow them to duck under.

Soon they were walking up the front path to the well-maintained, two-story house with Ryan leading the way.

_A/N: Okay, so that was kind of a linking chapter. I wanted to explore Kate's guilt over Roy's death and the debt she feels she owes his family, together with this new feeling of being on the outside of the NYPD looking in. More to come… _

_As an aside, I also had to fudge Montgomery's address a little. The return address on the package he sends Mr. Smith is 299 1__st__ Avenue, New York, NY 10003. That may not be his home address, but since that area of Manhattan has no single-family homes like Montgomery's, I used a little artistic license and moved them out to Forrest Hills in Queens. Oh the power! ;) _

_Anyway, long note. Only seven Mondays to go guys! Liv_


	46. Chapter 46 Memory Lane

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 46 – Memory Lane_**

Evelyn Montgomery was sitting in an armchair next to the brick fireplace. The wingback faced away from the windows, leaving the widow's face shrouded in shadow. A young female cop was sitting on a footstool in front of her, talking in hushed tones. Evelyn cradled a mug to her chest, taking comfort from the warm liquid even on this hot summer's day. The slogan on the front of the mug read, "World's Greatest Dad".

Castle felt his guts twist.

"Evelyn," said Kate, her voice so warm and comforting, eyes sparkling with that powerful reassurance she somehow managed to summon up for those in need, even when she felt hollowed out inside.

Castle felt a surge of admiration for her and a deep sense of pride.

"Kate. Rick," said Evelyn, laying the mug down on the hearth and standing up to greet them.

She gave each of them a warm hug in turn, lingering in Castle's firm grip, needing the comfort of a man's arms surrounding her, even if it hurt even more that that man wasn't Roy.

Castle released her and indicated for her to sit. He and Kate backed up slightly to take up residence on the couch. Evelyn reached down for the mug once more, cupping it with both hands and holding it back against her chest. She saw Castle's eyes flick over to the white porcelain and then she looked at him with something like shame.

"I know. Stupid, right?" she said, holding the mug up to look at it. "I just can't seem to put it away. It was his favorite," she explained, brushing her thumb across the slightly raised transfer design and shrugging.

Kate didn't know what to say to that, so she switched tack.

"How are the girls?" she asked, looking around the large lounge space and on into the study beyond.

"They're upstairs playing. CSU needed them out of the way, and…I'm trying to play this down."

She laughed, a brittle, hollow sound.

"Listen to me. _Play it down_. Since when was having your home invaded twice in one week something you played down?"

"This is a lot to take in, Evelyn, I know. And I'm sure Ryan and the other detectives have already been over it with you, but can you run through what happened for me? If it's not…I'd like to help if I can."

Evelyn looked calmer for a second, her breathing slower and more regular. Then she twitched in the chair.

"Where are my manners? Can I get you something? Tea, coffee or…"

Kate's instinct was to refuse her hospitality and just get straight down to brass tacks. But she recognized the woman's need for a little normalcy, so she agreed to a cup of coffee, and watched as Evelyn rose gracefully from the chair to make her way into the kitchen.

"How about I come with you?" offered Castle, ever the chivalrous knight in shining armor. "Carry those cups and that coffee pot for you."

He cast a glance back at Kate before he followed Mrs. Montgomery to the back of the house, and she gave him a grateful nod.

* * *

"So, how's she been?" Kate immediately asked the female cop who'd withdrawn to stand in the corner. "I'm former…sorry, I'm Kate Beckett. Roy Montgomery was my Captain," she explained, pointing to a large framed photograph of the man that was on proud display over the fireplace, so handsome, kitted out in full dress uniform.

"Oh. _You're_ Detective Beckett. Of course," said the young woman, shaking Kate's hand. A wealth of knowledge surfacing on her face at the mention of Kate's name. "I've heard a lot…I mean, you got shot last year, right? At Captain Montgomery's funeral?"

Kate nodded, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth. To be a hero in someone's eyes for getting shot and just surviving was not something she'd ever hoped would mark her out in life, particularly given the circumstances.

"So…uh…did Evelyn manage to tell you much?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I was just keeping her company while they arrange a protective detail for her and her daughters," explained the young woman. "She gave a full debrief to my Captain and Detective…is it _Ryan_?" she asked, scanning out in the hall for the Irish Detective. "The cute, married one."

Kate nodded, suppressing a smile. Not being able to say, 'he's on my team' or take charge of the situation was killing her.

But before she could question the young woman further, a voice floated in from the hall. A voice so rich and familiar it reminded her of strong, black coffee; bitter, with an acidic edge. And suddenly, there in the middle of Evelyn Montgomery's living room stood Captain Victoria Gates, her white shirt and grey suit as starched and buttoned up as ever, despite it being close to four o'clock on a sweltering Sunday afternoon.

* * *

Kate stood, her body rising up out of an ingrained sense of discipline, respect for the woman's rank, and pure mindless habit. The word 'sir' formed on her lips, but died before she could push it out of her parched throat.

"Kate," said the older woman, the surprise evident in her voice. "I didn't expect to see _you_ here. Your name wasn't on the sign-in sheet."

The observation carried a critical edge to it.

"Captain Gates, sir," she mumbled inelegantly.

Just what _was _the protocol in this situation, because damned if Kate knew?

"I…eh," Kate swallowed around the dryness in her mouth. "We came to see what we could do for Evelyn," she said, resenting the explanation Gates drew from her even as it passed her lips.

Her former Captain crossed her arms, leant on one hip as she eyed Kate with a slow, steady stare. Her lips were pursed, her left eyebrow arched as she swept her gaze upwards from Kate's sandal-clad feet to the light summer dress she was wearing, taking in the sunglasses casually hooked into the bodice between her breasts and the fine gold chain around her neck. Kate couldn't have felt more exposed if she had been standing naked in front of the woman.

"I see," she said slowly. Then, something else registered with her and she added, "_We?_"

* * *

Kate heard Castle's approach before Victoria Gates did. The sound of him chatting easily with Evelyn, putting her at her ease in the way only he could, drifted in from the hallway. Kate closed her eyes, wishing the pair of them could just disappear in puff of the magic Castle was so fond of referencing.

'_Okay,_ _I'll believe_,' she wanted to tell him, '_just as long as you get me out of this, I will believe in magic and fairies, goblins and fate, psychics and Santa Claus. Just make me disappear._'

Castle appeared in the doorway, ushering Evelyn in ahead of him, towering over the woman with a tray of crockery easily balanced in his large hands.

He saw the look on Kate's face before he saw Captain Gates, and his brow knit together in puzzlement. She looked so tense, her face so strained.

"What is _he_ doing here?" asked Gates, with a jerk of her head, seeming to forget for a moment that she was in fact standing in the middle of Evelyn Montgomery's living room, and not back in the bullpen at the Twelfth.

"Ah, Captain Gates," said Evelyn, missing the tension in the room completely. "Good of you to come," she said, extending her hand to her late husband's replacement.

She turned to Castle and said, "Rick, would you mind fetching another cup for Victoria? Third shelf up on the left."

Kate wanted to scream, '_I'll help_,' and run out after him, but it was one cup for god's sake. How many people did it take to get a damn cup from the kitchen? _Shit._

So she waited by the edge of the sofa for everyone else to get settled and then she took a seat, perching on the edge, her posture upright and stiff. It reminded her of childhood visits to her Great Aunt Alison's house. The aunt who kept antimacassars on the backs of all her armchairs and served loose tealeaves in a big old china pot with roses printed on the side.

"Why are you and Mr. Castle here?"

Victoria Gates bold question broke through Kate's panicked haze. The woman's tone demanded an answer.

Kate didn't want to have to admit that Ryan had called her, and drop the poor guy in it a second time, so she hesitated before answering.

It was Evelyn Montgomery who came to her aid in the end.

"I called Kate," she interjected, drawing Gates' gaze away from Kate for a second. "Roy always said I should go to her for help if anything ever happened to him. I didn't want to hear it at the time…what cop's wife wants to hear _that_ stuff, right?" she asked, laughing bleakly.

And though Kate knew she was lying about the phone call, she also knew that the rest of the things Evelyn was saying were true, and that made the lie a little easier to bear.

"I see," said Gates coolly, turning to eye Kate, challenging her to refute the statement. "You _do_ know that Ms. Beckett is off the squad, Evelyn?"

Evelyn nodded slowly, flicking her eyes to Kate, and in that instant Kate realized that no one had brought her up to speed, and this was in fact yet another lie.

"Good friends outlive the job in my experience, Captain Gates," she said calmly. "My husband had many strong friendships with retired cops, people he knew he could count on, trust, people who understood. The job is in your blood, from what I've seen over the years?"

She looked at each woman in turn, and when they both nodded slowly she continued. "I've known Rick and Kate for a long time. They're more than a title or a badge to me. And my daughters feel the same way."

* * *

Castle returned to the room with the extra cup, looking like he wished he were anywhere else but there.

Gates' presence would seriously curtail their ability to question Evelyn or tour the crime scene while she was still hanging around. Kate had to push her control freak tendencies to one side and hope that Ryan had it covered.

"Shall I be mother?"

Castle's voice drifted uncertainly across the room, and Kate had to fight the meanest urge to just roll her eyes until they fell out of her sockets. _Really, Rick? Mother?_

Evelyn smiled gratefully and nodded for him to pour the coffee, and Kate felt like a horrible person. Gates was getting to her and she needed to find a little self-control.

"This is a little out with your jurisdiction is it not, sir?" asked Kate, taking either a calculated risk or embarking on a suicide mission, she couldn't decide which.

Castle winced at her question, but carried on serving up coffee.

"I asked Ryan to keep me informed if anything popped on the Maddox case."

_Seriously?_ She was calling it _that?_

Kate bit down a retort.

"What makes you so sure this was Maddox?" she asked, fishing for information she so desperately wanted, and crossing her fingers that Gates would be furious enough at her insubordination to give it to her.

"We've got him on security camera approaching the back of the house."

_Bingo!_

"He came in through the back?" Kate asked, leading Gates up the garden path, so to speak.

"Yes. Made light work of the lock, killed the alarm system, though I believe it was turned off given you were home at the time?" she asked Evelyn.

Montgomery's widow nodded.

"We only just had the security cameras installed. I guess they've paid for themselves already."

"And…you got a clear shot of him? His face I mean?" asked Kate, her heart rate picking up as her mind returned to her last tête à tête with the man, his hot breath on her face, his hands closed around her throat, pressing hard, robbing her of air.

"Clear enough. It's apparent that he either didn't know the cameras were there or more likely he just didn't care. Breaking in in broad daylight on a Sunday afternoon? That's pretty damned audacious."

"Evelyn, did you see him? Speak to him at all? Did he say anything?" asked Kate, desperate for all the information she could garner before Gates remembered that she was no longer a member of her team and shut her impromptu interrogation down.

"Kate, I'd like a word with Evelyn in private, if I may?" interjected Gates.

Dammit. _Busted._

Kate had a sudden brainwave, and she leant forward on the sofa, touching Evelyn's hand gently.

"Would you mind if we went up to say hi to Mary and Rebecca? Leave you two alone to talk," she said, smiling tightly.

"Sure, Kate. The girls would love that. I think they're both in Becca's room. Last door on the left at the top of the stairs."

"Great. Won't be long," said Kate, heading for the door and signaling with her eyes for Castle to follow her.

* * *

"What the hell?" hissed Castle, the second they were out in the hallway.

"I _know_," said Kate, grasping hold of his wrist and tugging him up the stairs after her.

A bubble of nervous laughter was building up in her chest now that she was alone with her partner, and she had to fight it down as two CSU techs passed by on the stairs. She reminded herself of the reason they were there in the first place, and focused on the climb up to see the Montgomery girls.

Kate tapped lightly on the door of Rebecca's bedroom.

"Hey, girls," she said gently, poking her head around the frame. "Is it okay if we come in?"

"_Kate!_" squealed Mary in excitement, scrambling up off the floor to give Kate a hug.

"Honey, you're getting so tall," remarked Kate, feeling the top of the girls' head nudge the underside of her chin.

A stab of guilt went through her that the last time she had seen Captain Montgomery's children was the day of their father's funeral.

"I'm almost five foot four," the younger girl announced, bouncing on the spot while Castle hovered in the doorway.

"Girls, you remember my partner, Rick,' she said, holding out her hand to him and drawing him into the room.

"Sure. You're that famous writer," piped up Mary again, clearly the more talkative of the two. "My dad loved your books," she added guilelessly, and without the undercurrent of grief Castle expected.

"I was a big fan of your dad," said Castle honestly, sinking down next to Kate on the canopy bed and laying his large hands on his knees.

The two looked like giants in the Lilliputian world of Rebecca's pale pink bedroom - tall, long-limbed and out of place.

The girls had been playing a board game on the floor, and Rebecca hastily tidied up the markers, replacing everything into the box since they had visitors.

"Is my mom okay?" Mary asked Kate outright, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"She's…yeah. Your mom is a strong lady. Just like your dad. Captain Gates is talking to her right now, so we thought we'd come up and see you guys," Kate said a little too brightly.

"Did they catch him yet? The man who broke in?"

Mary again.

Kate looked at Rebecca with some concern. She wondered if maybe the girl wasn't dealing with this so well. She was being too quiet and seemed withdrawn.

"No. But they have his picture, so that will help. Did you see anything? Earlier today, I mean?"

Mary looked at Rebecca and the girls slowly shook their heads.

"Mom heard something out back. We were supposed to come down for lunch. She'd just called upstairs and told us to wash our hands, but I was reading and Becca was on the phone with Tod. That's her boyfriend," added Mary, addressing the aside to Castle. "But I ignored her," said the little girl, her face twisting in a mask of guilt.

"Oh, sweetie," said Kate, dropping to her knees on the floor and giving her a hug. "It's okay. You guys are all okay. No harm done," she said, stroking her hand down Mary's back and wishing she believed that was true.

Castle watched her handle the little girl, and he felt, not for the first time, that her old job was her true calling, and nothing short of death threats should keep her from doing it. She was too big a loss to the city otherwise.

"What happened then? After your mom heard the noise?" Kate prompted.

"She came running upstairs. Said we had to get into the room in the basement."

"And this is a special room your dad made?"

"Panic room," said Becca clearly, speaking up for the first time. "Like in the movie. You know, the one with Jodie Foster."

"Uh-huh," said Kate slowly. Was that pride in the girl's voice?

"Cool movie," added Castle, and Kate so very nearly rolled her eyes it wasn't funny. "Isn't it a bit old for you though?"

"I saw it at my friend Heather's house," the girl confessed, and Kate couldn't understand for the umpteenth time how Castle did that, worked his Svengali influence on teenage girls. She hoped it was because of Alexis, she really did, because anything else was just too uncomfortable to contemplate.

"Don't tell my mom," she added. "She didn't want me to see it. Thought it might give me nightmares or something since…well, you know, we actually _have_ one." She shrugged. "A panic room, I mean."

"It's a _safe_ room," argued Mary. "That's what dad called it."

"Safe, panic, what's the difference?" asked Becca, all attitude and angry teenage glares. "We did both, didn't we? Got safe and then panicked."

No one laughed at her dark joke.

"That's lame," said Mary, shoving her sister's leg.

"Don't be a baby," retorted Becca, shoving her back.

Kate's calm voice cut across their argument before it descended into anything worse.

"And once you got inside, what happened then?"

"Mom was freaking. She said she could hear him moving around outside," explained Becca. "Then Mary started crying."

"Did not!" exclaimed Mary, her red face giving away her lie.

"_Anyway_," said Rebecca slowly, rolling her eyes, "luckily I had my phone with me."

"Because you'd been talking to Tod right before…?" said Kate, piecing it all together.

"Yeah, so mom took my cell and called 911. The woman on the other end, she told us to stay put, keep the door locked, that they would send someone round."

"Then Uncle Tony and Uncle Mario showed up," said Mary, her face suddenly brightening. "Gumball and everything."

"And they're…?" asked Castle, knitting his brow in a frown.

"They're not our real uncles. They're my dad's friends from the 107th," explained Becca. "They used to play racket ball together."

"Uncle Tony's daughter is in my class at school," said Mary. "_She's_ called Angel. Isn't that a pretty name?" the girl asked Castle.

"Sure is. But, I like Mary better," he added, and the girl beamed with pride.

Kate laid her hand over his on top of his knee, and gave it a squeeze.

"What?" he asked, giving her a puzzled smile.

She just shook her head.

"Are you boyfriend and girlfriend now?" asked Mary, inquisitively.

Rebecca looked horrified by her sister's lack of filter.

"_Mary!_" she hissed, covering her face with her hands. "God, you're _so_ embarrassing."

"Actually, yes. We are," confirmed Kate, smiling at the two girls.

"Good," said Mary firmly. "'Cause my dad always said you were made for each other. Isn't that right, Becca?" she asked her mortified sister.

"Shut up. Stop talking," moaned the older girl. "You're just so embarrassing," she complained.

"Kind of her job," said Kate, nudging Becca's foot with the toe of her sandal.

* * *

Just at that there was a light tap on the bedroom door and Evelyn poked her head inside.

"Everything okay in here?" she asked.

"Mary's being an embarrassing nuisance as usual," moaned Becca, getting up off the floor.

"Am _not_," shot the younger girl. "Mom, Kate and Rick are dating," she announced proudly, to Castle's amusement. "Isn't that cool?"

Evelyn Montgomery smiled a warm and genuine smile at the two adults seated on the bed.

"About time," she said, clamping a hand on Castle's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "You know, Roy used to threaten to throw you two in lock-up overnight in the hope you'd finally see sense?"

Kate turned to Castle and flashed him a smile.

"Well, it didn't quite take that, but…it _was_ touch and go for a while," said Kate, bumping Castle's shoulder playfully.

"Well, I'm so pleased it worked out for you. You make a lovely couple. Roy would have been so pleased."

"Thank you, Evelyn," said Castle, standing up to give the widow a kiss on the cheek.

"Has Gates gone?" asked Kate, breaking up the party.

"Eh…yeah. I think she's out front talking to Kevin. She said she had to go back to the Precinct. Does that woman ever take a day off?"

"Evidently not," said Castle dryly.

"Not a fan, I take it?" asked Evelyn.

"Let's just say I'm not her favorite person."

"Now who wouldn't like you?" asked Evelyn, grinning at the writer and pinching his cheek.

"Exactly my point," said Castle, giving Kate and _'I told you so'_ look.

"Can we talk?" asked Kate, cutting her eyes to where Mary was still seated on the floor.

"Sure. You want to go downstairs? Girls, can you please pack a bag each. We're going to stay in a hotel for a few days, so make sure you have enough clothes and things. And don't forget your toothbrush."

The girls looked at one another, their argument forgotten, and then set about pulling various items of clothing from drawers.

"One book, your iPods, and Becca, make sure you bring your phone charger, honey, if that boy is going to be calling you everyday."

"His name's _Tod_, mom," said the teenager tartly.

Evelyn sighed as she left the room, and led Kate and Castle back downstairs.

* * *

They went to sit in the lounge again, the dining area and half of the kitchen still off limits, while CSU worked the primary scene. Kate popped her head in and raised her hand in a friendly wave to the techs, none of whom she knew.

One of the guys was crouched down at the back door, gently brushing iron filings across a latent print with a Magna-Brush. The other tech was photographing a partial footprint that had been left behind on the white tile just inside the door, before laying a layer of adhesive over the top to preserve and remove the print and any soil or trace left behind by the treads.

Kate shook her head at the invasive nature of the investigation taking place in her late Captain's home, and then she went back through to join Evelyn and Castle.

* * *

"Can you tell us anything you remember?" asked Kate. "The girls said you could hear this man moving around outside the door of your safe room. Is that right?"

Evelyn nodded. "Yes," she admitted with a shaky exhale. "I heard someone trying the lock on the back door. I'd just gone into the hallway to call the girls down for lunch, since they'd ignored me the first time."

"Yeah, I can relate to that," said Castle, trying to make her feel better.

"When I heard the noise I just knew."

"Knew what?" asked Kate.

"That it was happening again. That they had come back."

Kate shook her head, thinking no one should have to live like that, least of all a widow with two young girls.

"So what did you do?"

"I herded them down into the basement. Roy had the room downstairs fitted with a steel door. Said it was fireproof and nothing would get through it. He'd had new ventilation fitted, a panic button for the house alarm…"

She shook her head and pressed her fingers to her lips.

"Do you know why Roy did that?" asked Castle.

"He…uh…he told me that…he lied to me about it at first," confessed Evelyn. "Said it was just because he worked long hours, that cases sometimes went on through the night. But he'd been working like that all our married life. So, when I pushed him, he finally told me that there was some stuff he'd been involved in at work. A case that went badly wrong years ago, and there'd been a cover up."

Evelyn shook her head as if in disbelief, reliving the conversation with her dead husband.

"I asked him if he was party to the cover up, and he told me yes, yes he was. I'll never forget the look on his face that night. He just looked so ashamed, Kate."

She swiped angrily at a tear that skidded down her cheek.

"Anyway," she said, pulling herself together again, "he said he was going to fix it, but that things might get worse before they got better. And that's why he wanted the safe room."

"And when was this?" asked Kate.

"About a month before he died."

Kate nodded silently.

"Do you…do _you_ know what this is all about?" Evelyn asked, looking at Kate first and then Castle.

Castle remained silent, leaving it up to Kate to decide how much to tell Roy's widow.

"I have a good idea. But, I'd like to sort it out once and for all before I share it with you, if that's okay? The less you know, the safer it will be for you and the girls until this thing is over."

Evelyn seemed to accept Kate's explanation without reservation and Kate was grateful for her trust.

"You know that we recovered your wedding album among the things that were taken during the first break-in?"

"Yes. I was hoping to get it back soon."

"We were hoping to be able to bring it to you today. But they managed to recover a print from the album, so I'm afraid it'll have to remain in evidence for the time being. However, there was a photograph missing from one of the pages, and we think that whoever took that print was looking for someone. Someone that was in that photograph."

Evelyn listened intently to Kate.

"How can I help?"

"Roy was friends with two cops - John Raglan and Gary McCallister - back in the day, and both of those cops are now dead."

"No, all three of those cops are now dead," corrected Evelyn, her voice so emotionless that it shocked Kate.

"I'm sorry, you're right," she acknowledged. "What I need you to try and remember is this - was there anyone else that Roy knew from around that time? Someone on the job probably that he was friendly with, friendly enough to invite to your wedding."

Evelyn thought for a moment.

"You think that's who this guy was looking for? Some old contact of Roy's? That's why he came back to my house…what, to ask me _personally_ this time? The files and the photographs weren't enough?" she asked, her voice rising in anger.

Kate placed her hand over Evelyn's and nodded gravely.

"The guy who broke in today, he's not the same one who stole Roy's files last week. _That guy_ was a hired lackey and he is _dead_, Evelyn."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked bitterly.

"No, of course not. But the man who came here today, _I_ want to see _that guy_ locked away for good. He's the sniper who shot me at the cemetery, Evelyn. So you can see why we need your help on this."

This time it was Evelyn's turn to look surprised.

"I…uh…I have an old box of photographs in the basement. Maybe there's something in there."

"Great. We'll take them with us, if we may? And please, have a long hard think about Roy's friends, anyone he might have known well, say about fourteen or fifteen years ago. I'm sorry to have to do this to you when you have the girls to worry about and everything."

"Kate, anything I can do to help. Especially if it involves Roy's death or your shooting."

Then she rose from the chair to go and fetch the box of old photographs.

* * *

Kate breathed out a long sigh and sank back into the cushions.

"You look beat," said Castle. "Wanna go home after this, order in and hole up?"

"You're talking my language, Mr. Castle. Throw in a foot massage and I'm yours," she said, leaning into his side.

"You're already mine, Beckett, foot massage or not. There's no escaping now."

"Then do it because you love me," she teased, lacing her fingers with his.

"Ah, the magic words," said Castle. "Your wish is my command, milady."

He'd just planted a kiss on her temple when Evelyn returned carrying a large, off-white, cardboard box marked '_Photographs 1980-2010'._

"We sorted through these just before our thirtieth wedding anniversary. The girls wanted to make a collage for their dad as a surprise," explained Evelyn, handing Castle the box.

Captain Robert Harper of the 107th Precinct rapped on the doorframe to announce his arrival.

"Evelyn, I have two of my guys waiting to take you and the kids to a hotel," he said. "Just when you're ready. No rush."

"You go ahead. We'll take good care of these," promised Kate, tapping the lid of the box Castle held on his lap.

Evelyn stood up, she looked a little flustered, probably unprepared to leave her home and unsure just what to take with her.

"Captain Gates said you resigned, Kate. How are you going to get this guy if you're on the outside?"

Kate looked at Castle, the solid, silent, comforting presence beside her.

"Because I'm going to try and get back in. It's time this thing was over, and I need to be there when it gets finished."

_A/N: Phew, that was a long one! Hope you enjoyed that. Scary Gates is so much fun! Thank you for the lovely reviews. You keep me entertained! Liv_


	47. Chapter 47 My First, My Last

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 47 – My First, My Last, My Everything_**

Kate stood on the front porch of the Montgomery's comfortable single-family home, surveying the withdrawal of the troops. The street was less crowded, just two cruisers and a CSU van parked out front. The gathering of on-lookers had dwindled to a couple of nine-year-old boys on bikes and a little girl with pink ribbons in her hair and a Barbie scooter.

This was where Cole Maddox had come, to a street like this, where people lived largely unremarkable lives and children grew up, skinned their knees, climbed trees, stayed out late on summer nights, experienced their first kiss, graduated high school, then went off to college and flew the nest. If this was where he'd brought his evil, the havoc he was paid to wreak, then it was time Kate wreaked a little havoc of her own. Because she was done feeling scared, through living off grief. Now, she was ready to embrace anger, and let it drive her until this thing was done.

"Hey, Ryan," she said, walking down the flagstone path to speak to the detective, flanked by neat rows of daisy-like Asters bobbing their little heads in the breeze.

Castle had gone on ahead to stow Evelyn's photographs in the trunk of his car before they headed back to Manhattan.

"You get everything you need?" she asked.

"Yeah, square root of not much," he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Local boys cooperate?" asked Kate, nodding her head towards the Captain of the 107th, who was standing nearby chatting to one of the Uniforms assigned to take Evelyn and the girls to the hotel.

"Oh, sure. They're _more_ than happy for us to take the lead on this one. Gives them less to do, and keeps the board over at Parson's Boulevard from getting clogged by a hokey B&E that's not gonna solve itself anytime soon."

Kate nodded. "One P.P. and their damn stats."

"Hey, speaking of stats, you speak to Gates while she was here? She seemed pretty pissed when she left."

"_Ah._ That could have been me or it could have been Castle. She didn't seem too pleased to see either of us."

"You tell her I called you?"

"As if. No, Evelyn covered for us."

"Go Evelyn," said Ryan, impressed by Mrs. Montgomery's quick thinking.

"Yeah, she actually asked what we were doing here, like we needed her permission to visit or something."

"Where _is_ Castle, anyway? She didn't kick him out, did she?" asked Ryan, grinning.

"No. He's gone to the car with some photographs Evelyn leant us. We had to park a block away."

"Why'd Evelyn give you photographs?"

"Just trying to figure out who Maddox was looking for, assuming it's some old pal of Roy's. Thought maybe we could learn something. Who knows," she said with a shrug.

"You find anything you call me, okay?"

"Don't you know it, Ryan," said Kate, giving the Detective a quick hug. "Same goes for you. You get anywhere on this, you give me a shout. I want this guy, Kevin. No question or doubt."

Ryan nodded his agreement.

"You look good, Beckett," he said almost as an afterthought, before the two parted ways. "Tell writer boy I said hi," he added cheekily, before heading back towards the house.

* * *

Early evening traffic was light that sunny summer Sunday, and they made it back from Queens, along the I-278W to lower Manhattan inside half an hour.

Castle parked in the garage beneath his building and then he unloaded the box of photographs from the trunk.

"You set up the office, and I'll order the…?"

"Chinese," they both said simultaneously, laughing in surprise.

"Great minds," said Kate, nudging his ribs with her elbow.

"Been fantasizing about that since we left Forrest Hills."

"_That's_ what you fantasize about?" asked Kate, arching her eyebrow in amusement. "Greasy Chinese food?"

"Well, that, and _you_, wearing very little, pressed up against a set of crisp white sheets with my…"

"Oh, too little too late, stud," said Kate, laying a hand on his back as she followed him into the elevator.

"You won't be saying that when I get you on my sheets tonight."

"Oh, really? And who says you're going to…_ahhh, Castle!_" squealed Kate, when he pushed her up against the back of the elevator and her bare shoulders hit the cold, polished surface.

"If you drop Evelyn's photographs, I am _not_ helping you pick them up," warned Kate, while Castle kept her hemmed in against the wall, the large box pressed between them.

The elevator signalled it's arrival, and she swerved around him gracefully while Castle tried to figure out how to kiss Kate while holding onto the box at the same time.

"You'll keep," he muttered to himself, as he stepped out of the elevator after her, whistling.

* * *

"_Kate!_" yelled Castle. He was in his office standing in front of the desk staring down at the open box of photographs.

Kate came skidding in from the kitchen, a dishtowel thrown over her shoulder and a pair of bright red lobster claw oven mitts on her hands.

"What? Where's the fire?" she asked, sounding a little breathless.

"This isn't going to work," said Castle, gesturing at the box.

"What isn't going to work?"

"Well, just take a look. There's too many of them. That's thirty years of Montgomery family photographs. No way we're going to be able to lay all that out in here."

"_Right_. So, your issue with this is one of…_space?_" asked Kate, trying to get a handle on where he was coming from.

"Ya-huh," he nodded fervently, as if it should be patently obvious.

"But you have a solution I assume?"

"I was thinking bed…"

"_Or_…?" asked Kate, waiting for a second option.

"_What?_ You didn't like that suggestion?"

"_Rick._" Kate crossed her arms over her chest, which was kind of difficult with the jumbo-sized oven mitts. "We worked in bed last night, and it took us twice as long to get anything done," she reminded him.

"So, not in bed then?" he asked, looking disappointed.

"How about we eat on the sofa and lay the photos out on the coffee table and the floor? You said Martha and Alexis went to the movies, right?"

"Mmm, that independent place over on East Houston is showing _Salmon Fishing in the Yemen _or something."

Castle wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Great. Then let's set up out there. But hurry up, because the food's getting cold," she said, turning to head back to the kitchen.

Castle watched her go. She was wearing a white vest top and a pair of small red gym shorts that reminded him (painfully) of Baywatch. Her flip-flops made a rhythmic slapping sound on the hardwood floor, and he stood there transfixed, watching her hips sway until she disappeared from view.

* * *

Kate plated up their food into warm bowls, poured them each a glass of wine and then loaded everything onto a tray to carry over to the living room.

"Oooo, egg roll," cooed Castle, swiping one off the tray before it even hit the coffee table.

"Napkin, wild man," said Kate, tossing a linen napkin at Castle's head.

It landed on his face and Kate let out a giggle while he fought it off.

"Here, I poured you some soy sauce. For dipping," she explained, when he just looked at her and the small white dish she was offering him. "What, you don't like dipping?" asked Kate, the question delivered without any trace of humor.

"_Dipping?_" asked Castle, a slow smirk growing on his face while the egg roll hovered suggestively close to his mouth. "Oh, I like dipping alright," he added. "Just…not with my food, Kate."

"Oh, that's just…eat your egg roll, Castle," said Kate, shoving the appetizer into his mouth with the flat of her hand.

Castle coughed, covering his mouth with his napkin to catch the stray food when he started to laugh.

"You're disgusting," she moaned, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

"That's not what you said when I was…uh…_dipping_ last night."

Kate couldn't see his eyebrows wiggle, but she could feel them.

"Shut up," she groaned, picking up a set of chopsticks, and bumping him with her shoulder. She couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. Stupid man.

"I love you too," he murmured around the food, leaning in to kiss her bare shoulder.

"Ew, Castle. Don't get food on me," she complained, shrinking away from him.

"Don't worry. I can always lick it off."

"_Seriously?_" asked Kate, staring at him in horror. "Just…_eat_, will you. Like a grown up," she added, nudging his leg playfully with her knee.

"Yes, mom."

"Jerk."

* * *

Kate cleared their plates and insisted Castle wash his hands before he went anywhere near the photographs.

They opened up the large box and laid it on the coffee table. Then stood side-by-side just staring down at the contents – thirty years, as Castle had said, of Montgomery family memories. Just how the hell were they going to do this?

"Okay," said Castle eventually, when he could no longer stand to watch Kate after she'd sunk to her knees on the floor, and begun staring mournfully at an old picture of Roy with Rebecca on his shoulders and a three year old Mary tugging on his pants leg, "We're gonna need a system."

Kate looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"How could he _do_ this?" she asked, clutching the photograph out in front of her.

"Do what, sweetie?" asked Castle, getting down on his knees beside her, and stroking his hand down her back.

"Give it all up. Give _them_ up?" she asked plaintively, handing Castle the photograph.

He kept up the soothing rhythm on her back, while he took the picture out of her hand.

"I don't know, Kate. I think Roy felt a lot of guilt over what he'd been party to, and I think he'd probably gotten tired of trying to outrun it. He knew he was going to jail if it ever came out, and I don't think he wanted to put his family through that."

"And what they've gone through…_are_ going through, that's _better?_ I just...I don't understand?"

"He was an honorable man at heart. One of the good guys. And I think he felt he needed to protect you. He knew this wasn't your fight, Kate, so he was prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice to keep you safe. To him it was the only way."

"But what about _them_, _Rick?_ What about Evelyn and Rebecca and Mary? Don't _they_ deserve protecting _too_?"

"Of course they do. That's the great tragedy in all of this. They're innocents, just like your mom was, just like you are, and that's why you're right, we have to end this once and for all."

"Fight the good fight? Kate sniffled.

"Exactly. Fight the good fight. But we do it smart this time. _Together_."

* * *

Castle paused, looked at the photograph Kate had been holding and then he put it back amongst the others.

"You know, this is going to be hard, Kate. Looking at these. You know me, I'm a writer, naturally curious, some would say nosey," he chuckled, nudging her with is knee, "I love the story, can't help it. So the chance to go through someone's family records, poke around their memories, go back in time like this, it should be heaven for me."

"But?" asked Kate, turning to look at him.

"But, this is different. I'm going to treat it like research because we need to do it. But the thing that's dawning on me when I look at these is…"

He scrubbed his hand over his mouth and looked hesitant about what he wanted to say.

"Hey, just say it. Whatever it is," said Kate, tugging his hand down from his mouth.

"I don't think we grieved properly. Any of us. For Roy, I mean. There was the shock of how everything went down, finding out about his involvement in the Armen case, the kidnappings, the cover-up. But the funeral is kind of a blur to me, when it should have been a moment of peace, reflection, a time for closure."

Kate let out a hollow laugh and Castle startled beside her.

"I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I know it was way worse for you," he rambled.

"Actually, probably not. I think you had the harder job that day. I think a lot of people did, people who cared about me. But maybe there is something in what you're saying."

"After the funeral came to a slamming halt, it became all about willing you to live, with everything that I had, and the waiting, and…I've never prayed so hard in my life," confessed Castle, leaning back against the sofa and resting his chin on his knee, his body pulled into a tight ball.

His eyes were trained on the middle distance, dark and unfocussed, as if he was seeing something that wasn't there.

Kate stayed silent beside him, giving him the space to talk.

"In the hospital, with your dad and my mom, Alexis, the boys and Lanie, hell even Josh," he laughed bitterly, "I was surrounded by people, all of us wishing for the same thing, and Roy was just kind of forgotten in the hell of it all."

Kate nodded in understanding.

"And then when you left for the summer, the Precinct wasn't exactly home anymore – you were gone, Roy was gone – but it was the only way I could feel close to you. To keep going back there."

He wasn't accusing her of anything, his tone was more mournful than judging, but Kate felt guilty none-the-less.

"Rick," she said, swiveling on her knees on the floor, "you have to know that if I had that time over I would do things differently. I can see now that letting myself need you isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. You have no idea how sorry I am…that I shut _you_ of all people out of my life. I hope you can forgive me one day."

"Kate, I forgave you a long time ago. This isn't about that, what I'm trying to explain. It's…I think we need to give ourselves time to grieve for Roy, properly, mindfully. Because Cole Maddox robbed us of that closure, that chance to grieve together."

"How do you suggest we _do_ that?"

"I don't know. Maybe Dr. Burke can help. Talk it over. Maybe we plan a memorial to Roy, get Evelyn and the girls involved. All I know is that if you're feeling half as guilty over this as I do, watching those kids today, seeing what Evelyn's having to cope with alone…all despite Roy's sacrifice. And it's still going on, Kate… Then we need to deal with it before it becomes a sore that won't heal."

"I think you're right. I think you're smart. And I love that you care as much about the people who matter to me as I do. You're a good man, and I'm never going to tire of saying that."

"Thank you. Really, thank you," he said, resting a hand on her leg. "So, you think we can do this? Make a start? If we treat it like research, maybe it'll make it a little easier?"

"Yes, and who knows, maybe the best way to honor him is to figure this out, and lay it to rest."

* * *

So they emptied the box, lifting the photographs out in piles. Some were in folders from various pharmacies or emblazoned with the Walmart logo, and Kate checked the approximate date period before setting them down in a pile.

"So, what are we saying? We…uh…start looking at the oldest first, the images from the 1980's. And we focus on men only. Should narrow it down," said Castle.

"Montgomery would have been twenty-four the year they got married. So young," said Kate, tracing an image of Roy and Evelyn on their wedding day with her fingertip.

"Yeah, I know what _that_ feels like," said Castle dryly, and mostly to himself.

Kate looked at him with undisguised curiosity.

"Well…not that _exact_ feeling, _obviously_, since I married the wrong woman…for the right reasons. But you get my…anyway, I should probably just stop talking."

"No," said Kate kindly. "No. That's…it's a part of who you are, you and Alexis and Meredith. You should never resent that time."

"While I appreciate the sentiment, my time with Meredith will forever be looked back upon with embarrassment and regret. Just so you know. Except for Alexis, of course."

"We both have pasts, Castle. There's no shying away from that. Yours was just more…_colorful_," said Kate with an amused smile, "than most people's."

"Oh, mine was more colorful? And what was yours, Beckett?"

"Ah, it's Beckett now is it?" she teased.

"Just answer the question."

Kate thought for a minute.

"_Safe_, but not in a good way. Wild at times, though not in any way that lasted beyond the moment itself. Closed off, I guess. It was exactly what you accused me of once, right before Roy…"

Castle looked over at her, reading her face, the wistful look, mingled with something sharper, more determined.

"You said I hid in nowhere relationships with men I didn't love, and…"

"_Kate,_" interrupted Castle, reaching for her hand. But she batted it gently away.

"No. No, let me finish. You were right. When you said that, you were _so_ right. I _was_ hiding. But I also like to think that I was preserving a piece of myself, an important piece of myself…for you."

Castle raised his eyebrows in a question.

"I was keeping my heart for you, Castle. Once I knew…" Kate paused and bit her lip. "Once I knew that I wanted you to have it, I think I was waiting until we were ready."

"I wish we'd been each other's first," blurted Castle.

The childish, romantic notion just slipped right out of his stupid mouth, and he wanted to slap himself around the head and throw up for being such a girl.

"I don't," said Kate with a snigger. "We'd have been awful. All gawky and inexperienced, sweaty palms, premature everything, and _jeez_, the _fumbling_, can you imagine?" she said, tugging Castle's hands away from his embarrassed face. A tinkling laugh spilled out of her. "No, this way is much better," she assured him. "Older, wiser, and _way_ more self-control."

"Self-control is overrated," he grumbled, his face still glowing red-hot.

"Yeah, I should have known _you'd_ think that."

"Well, it is," he argued.

"Hey, we do alright on the spontaneity scale. Managed to get caught by your mother, your daughter _and_ my father, inside the first week. That's pretty impressive."

"Yeah, I guess. I just wish…"

"Well, stop, because it's pointless. Now, help me with these," she said firmly, handing him another pile of faded prints.

* * *

"Wait, who's this guy?" asked Castle, pointing to a tall, slim man in one of the wedding photographs.

They looked like casual shots, maybe taken by a friend or family member. Definitely one of the bridal party, and not a professional photographer.

"He's in this one too," said Kate, lifting one from an earlier stack.

"You see him anywhere else?"

"Not yet. Why don't we put it to one side and keep an eye out for him. Do you recognize him or something?"

"More like _or something_. It's a feeling more than anything. He _feels_ familiar," explained Castle, guessing he was doing a bad job of it.

"Right," said Kate, nodding but looking seriously skeptical.

"What about him?" asked Castle, handing Kate a photograph of what looked like a 4th July barbecue.

"No, that's Roy's Uncle Sol. I met him at their silver wedding anniversary party, about a year before you joined us."

"Happy days," joked Castle. "No annoying side-kick to bug you back then."

"No, actually. Happy days came later," said Kate, covering his hand with her own and squeezing.

She shot him a shy glance, and he pressed his lips together, trying to keep his joy and pride from bursting through.

* * *

They both turned their attention back to the photos, working in comfortable silence.

"Oh," she cooed, "_look_. Just look at Roy's face," said Kate, pointing to an image of Evelyn sitting up in a hospital bed looking exhausted, with Roy by her side holding a newborn Rebecca.

"He does look proud," acknowledged Castle, squeezing out the words around a lump in his throat.

"Yeah, he does," said Kate, a little wistfully. Her eyes were soft and glistening as she looked at the photograph.

"Hey," said Castle, slipping his arm around her shoulders. "Research, remember?"

"I know," nodded Kate with a sniff. "It's just…hard, you know."

She put the photograph to the bottom of a pile and wiped her nose on the back of her hand.

"I _know_ it's hard, Kate. I see my _own life_ reflected in so much of this stuff. Makes me wish I'd taken more photographs, actually. It all goes by so fast, and suddenly they aren't experiences anymore. Just memories."

"We can make new ones," suggested Kate, tentatively.

"Yeah?" asked Castle, bright hope in his voice.

"Yeah. There's life in the old dog yet," she teased, swiping at a tear on her cheek.

"I'll give you old dog," growled Castle, wrestling her to the floor.

"I meant _me_," squeaked Kate, as she tried to fight him off.

"You're just a young pup. A sexy, bouncy, _eager_ young pup," he grunted, pulling Kate on top of him for a long, slow kiss.

"Uh…we need to…" said Kate, a few minutes later, glad they were on the floor in the living room doing this and not on top of the bed, because things were about to get out of hand if she didn't take charge and pull it together.

"Yeah," groaned Castle, letting go of her ass after a final squeeze and a mournfully slow circle of his hips.

* * *

A few minutes later, their clothing straightened out, Kate held up a new print.

"Look. Your man's also in this photograph with Raglan and McCallister. He obviously knew those guys too," she said, pointing to an informal wedding snap where the trio of men were goofing around outside, toasting each other with beer bottles in their hands.

"You think he's a cop too?"

"Not sure,' said Kate thoughtfully. "Wait. Hand me that graduation photo of Montgomery's. The Academy one. Raglan and McCallister were older than Roy, but maybe this guy was in his class."

"So weird to look at these now, and know what these guys were going to get up to, what they were going to have to cover up," said Castle, staring at the informal wedding snap.

"Yeah, I bet if they could have gone back in time there'd have been a few things they would have wanted to change."

Kate climbed onto the sofa, holding Montgomery's Academy class graduation photograph under the lamp on the end table.

"Ugh! I don't know anymore. I just keep staring at these tiny faces and…I'm even not sure I could spot my own father in this line-up. Rick, can you take a look? My eyes are getting blurry."

"I already looked…with my magnifying glass," he said, smugly holding up the antique, bone-handled magnifier.

"Okay, Sherlock," said Kate dryly. "Right, so if this guy _was _a cop, but he wasn't in Roy's graduating class, maybe we need to pull the Academy photographs for Raglan and McCallister's years?"

Castle groaned and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. Then he arched his tired back until it cracked.

"Well, we've done the wedding stuff, which was the most likely source, and we've covered the eighties, as far as I can tell from the terrible dress sense of most of these people."

"And you were _what_? George Clooney in the eighties, I suppose," teased Kate.

"George…? _I_ dress well," exclaimed Castle, a note of outrage in his voice.

"That you do," said Kate, patting his chest with a pursed lipped smile.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" he whined.

"Nothing. It's an incontrovertible fact. You _do_ dress well, Castle. In fact, it's one of the first things I noticed about you."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, a teasing grin on her face. "Yeah, that and your big…"

"My big…?" asked Castle, breathless with anticipation.

"_Ego!_" she said, shoving her hand against his chest until he fell back against the couch.

"Not funny, Beckett," he complained, as Kate made her way to the kitchen smirking, to top up their wine.

* * *

An hour later and they'd hit the new millennium. There was a small stack of unidentified males set off to one side. Numerous cousins, friends and colleagues Kate had met before already discounted.

"Once we finish this off, we need to get some sleep. I'll call Kevin tomorrow and see if he can get us in to see Evelyn. Then we can ask her who these guys are and take it forward from there."

"What if none of them is our guy?" asked Castle, sounding less than hopeful.

"We won't know unless we try, Castle. You're the guy who says we can move that rubber tree plant, _remember?_ _So_…come on, get movin'," she said, clinking her glass against his.

_A/N: This chapter was fluff, their past, present and future explored a little, buried in and around some casework. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks so much for reading guys. Liv_


	48. Chapter 48 Sometimes You Win

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 48 – Sometimes You Win When You Lose_**

"Rick?" whispered Kate, feeling around the bed for her partner. Her fingers danced across the eight hundred-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets seeking out his warmth.

When there was no reply, no groan, grunt or moan, she opened her eyes to take in the empty bed, his side of the comforter thrown back, a deep indent in the pillow where his head had been the only trace he'd left behind.

She pushed herself to a seated position and rubbed her hands over her eyes, then ran her fingers through the tangled mess of her hair trying to salvage…_something_.

They'd gone to bed on the wrong side of midnight, having wished Martha and Alexis goodnight at least an hour before that. Both too tired and too emotionally drained for sex, they'd crawled into bed together with the tacit agreement of just cuddling up and holding one another until they fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.

* * *

Kate got up, went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she looked at her face in the mirror she could see it lingering there – the hurt and guilt they'd talked about last night, together with the unresolved grief over the death of her mentor. She had dark shadows under her eyes, despite a largely unbroken seven hours sleep. She sighed, stretched her stiff back and rolled her shoulders in an effort to free up the tightness that had entered her muscles during the night.

A light tap on the bathroom door alerted her to Castle's return.

"Kate? You in there?" he asked, from the other side of the closed door.

She shook her head as she bit back the retort that leapt into her tired, cranky brain. '_Of course I'm in here. The door is closed, the faucet is running, who else were you expecting?_'

She opened the door instead, allowing him in, a tired smile her only greeting.

"Good morning. I brought you coffee," he said, brushing her hair back from her forehead to give her a light kiss just above her left eyebrow.

God, she felt awful. He was bringing her coffee and she had wanted to snap at him. _Gah!_ She had to get her grouchy mood under control this morning.

"Morning to you," she tried, deliberately brightening her voice. "Why're you up so early?"

"Woke at six. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up in case I disturbed you."

So sweet and thoughtful. Must try harder, Kate.

"Get any writing done?" she asked, her voice hopeful.

Castle shook his head, and reached for her mug, taking a swig of her coffee. The innocent action felt so intimate, a gesture that would have been unthinkable just a week ago.

Kate watched at him, about to beg for her cup back, but then she found she didn't have the energy.

She sighed, stepped in closer so that he could put his arm around her waist while Kate rested her chin on his shoulder. Maybe she was coming down with something? Clingy wasn't usually her thing, recent developments aside.

"Rick, when did you last write anything?" she asked, pressing a kiss to the soft fabric of his tee shirt where it covered the broad expanse of his shoulder, then she pushed her nose into the soft cotton folds, breathing in the scent of fabric softener, sleep and him.

She felt him shake his head, but he didn't say anything other than, "Beckett, are you _sniffing_ me?" the question clearly designed to derail her enquiry about his work.

"_Rick?_" Kate leant back enough to be able to look at his face.

He sighed. "A few weeks ago," he admitted. "Before…"

"Yes? Before…? _Before what_?"

"Before I went on that ride-along with Slaughter."

"But that was…"

"I know. _I know_. I just…I wasn't in the mood, okay? My muse and I…we weren't as close as we'd been. There was this issue between us and…"

"Well, you can't say that we're not close now," retorted Kate, her look of sympathy tinged with regret. "Don't think we could really get any…uh…closer," she added, gliding her mouth up the side of his neck, licking at a taut tendon as she went.

Castle groaned. He laid the coffee cup down, and moved to Kate's mouth instead, sliding his fingers into her hair until his nails scratched at her scalp.

"_So?_" Kate asked, nudging his thigh with her knee.

"So?" he moaned around Kate's tongue, walking his fingers around her waist until they rested low on her back, his thumbs stroking the outer edges of her ribcage.

"Are you going to get some writing done today?"

"I thought we were going to see Evelyn?"

"I can go, leave you to work for a bit."

"No. We go together," he protested, pulling back to shake his head at her.

"Castle, it's fine," she said, giving him a reassuring smile, her fingers curling round his biceps to hold him to her. "I've got this. You need to work. I've kept you away from it long enough. I'm surprised Paula isn't beating your door down by now."

"She rang," he admitted.

"Uh-huh?"

"Like, ten times. I'm thinking about blocking her number."

"Rick," warned Kate. "You can't let this case derail your writing. Come on. Let's go have some breakfast and plan out the day."

* * *

Kate called Ryan while Castle scrambled eggs.

"Ryan, we went through Roy and Evelyn's photographs last night, found a few possibilities. But I'm gonna need Evelyn's help going through them before we can figure out if any of them might be important or not. Can you…?"

Kate sighed, unused to having to ask for help with things like this.

"I need to know how we can get in to see her, Ryan. Did Captain Harper tell you where they've taken them?"

Ryan promised to find out, and escort Kate there himself, if he had to. He said he'd call back as soon as he knew more.

"_See_, you can stay home and write. Ryan said he'd take me to see Evelyn."

Castle shook his head stubbornly, still unwilling to agree to Kate going without him.

"Castle, what's your problem with this? I mean _really?_ Tell me."

"He left you hanging from the side of a building, Kate, seconds from death. We're pretty sure he killed Smith, he broke into Evelyn's house in broad daylight, and maybe he was planning on killing her too. Who knows? You think I'm just going to let you go it alone again? If it were up to me you'd never leave my sight. So deal with it, Kate. If you fight me on this I _will_ win," he said fiercely, apparently leaving no room for argument.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked, amused by his feistiness and interested to hear the rest of his argument. The floral apron he was wearing over his boxer shorts wasn't helping much either.

"You love my pancakes," he said matter-of-factly, turning away from her with a completely straight face. But his silly comment broke the tension in their standoff.

Kate laughed in surprise, and then she laughed some more, slapping her hand against her knee.

"Your pancakes?" she gasped.

"Yeah. My pancakes, Kate Beckett. So deal," he said, tipping the scrambled eggs out onto a plate.

* * *

Ryan called back just as Kate was getting out of the shower and so Castle took the call.

"They moved them back into Manhattan, to a hotel in Midtown close to the 17th Precinct on East 51st," Castle told her as she toweled off. "We've got twenty minutes to get ready before he comes by to pick us up."

"You're not going to back down on this, are you?" asked Kate, wrapping her hair in a towel and reaching under the vanity to fetch the hairdryer.

Castle just shook his head at her and reached into the glass enclosure to turn on the shower.

* * *

They waited down on the sidewalk for Ryan to arrive. Kate was wearing a pair of her favorite jeans - soft, well worn and comfortable - black heels and a red three-quarter-sleeve button down. Castle had on black jeans and a pale blue plaid shirt with a white V-neck tee underneath. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up past his elbows to take account of yet another hot August day.

It was almost ten o'clock on Monday morning and the traffic was pretty heavy, so Ryan took longer than expected to get to SoHo. Kate was holding an envelope containing the photographs they'd culled from the large box the night before, and she ran her fingers nervously through her hair, scanning up and down the street for Ryan's navy blue unit, her free hand shielding her eyes from the sun.

Castle held up his hand, waved the detective over to the curb when he saw him approach from the direction of Lafayette.

Kate got in the passenger side and Castle was forced to climb into the back, grumbling about not being able to ride shotgun even although he'd called it.

Kate swiveled in her seat and gave him an eyebrow raised glare, which shut him up immediately. She'd already threatened to send him home to write if he so much as looked at her wrong today, and he wasn't about to let that happen.

"Is there a password?" he asked, popping his head between the two front seats as Ryan turned right from Broome onto Broadway so they could begin heading north towards Midtown.

He sat back when Kate shoved on his shoulder with her hand.

"A password, bro?" asked Ryan, glancing in the rearview mirror at Castle.

"Yeah, to get into the hotel room. Do we need a password?"

"This is all the password we need," said the detective, holding up his badge for Castle to see. "Besides, they're expecting us."

"Who's providing the detail?" asked Kate.

"Captain Sheridan and the 17th. Gates is working with him, since they wanted to keep it away from the 12th. Stop any association with Roy and…"

Ryan trailed off and silence fell over the car.

"And me, you mean?" asked Kate.

"They're registered under fake I.D.'s. The Joneses from Podunk or some such," said Ryan, ignoring Kate's remark.

While it might be true, she didn't need to hear that today.

* * *

The hotel was smart, not five stars, but close. The lobby was busy, crowded with tourists and business people, stacks of luggage in one corner that the bellhop was disseminating onto brass-railed carts with a quiet efficiency. A pushy looking woman with a green flag on a stick and a crazy number of pin badges on her tour guide's cap was trying to wrangle a group of noisy Japanese, every single one with a camera strung around their necks. The women's china-doll faces were concealed beneath wide-brimmed sun visors, and a couple of them even carried small folding umbrellas to shield their perfect, milky complexions from the strong sun. Ryan stared at two middle-aged women wearing white surgical masks over their faces and then he shook his head and turned away.

"Do we have to check-in?" asked Castle, scanning the long line at the registration desk.

"Why? You planning on staying?" joked Kate, and Castle gave her a squint-eyed stare.

"No. We got VIP passes, bro," replied Ryan, attaching his badge to his belt as he led them towards the elevator.

* * *

Evelyn and the two girls were being looked after in a two-bedroom suite on the tenth floor. When they arrived at the door, a black-suited, plainclothes officer was guarding the entrance, and he had a long look at Ryan's badge before the stepped away to permit them access.

"They're with me," said Ryan, when the man stared at Castle, giving him a slow, head-to-toe once over.

"Gonna have to do a full pat down," the man said, and Kate willingly stepped forward first, happy to cooperate if it kept Evelyn and the girls safe.

Castle followed her lead, spreading his legs and lifting his arms for the officer. The man was rougher with Castle than he'd been with Kate, and he had to bite his tongue to keep his thoughts to himself. But when the cop's hand cupped, shit _there_, a "_Jeez, watch the family jewels!"_ issued from his mouth.

Kate had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud or saying something completely inappropriate. Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed open the hotel room door.

The cop muttered, "_Sorry,_" but didn't look as if he meant it at all. Castle threw a growly glare at him, but flinched when the man lifted his hand to his holster, and quickly hurried into the hotel suite hot on Kate and Ryan's heels.

Evelyn and the girls were curled up on the sofa together watching The Today Show, and to Kate's surprise, Sean was lounging on one of the armchairs near the window, reading something on an iPad.

"_Sean_," said Kate, going straight over to give Montgomery's son a hug. "When did you get here?"

"Came over last night when mom called and told me what had happened. Thought maybe they could use the company. School's out and I was just working at a record store over in Brooklyn, so…" he shrugged.

"Well, hey, it's great to see you. I'm sure your mom and sisters are pleased to have you here."

"Hey, Sean. Good to see you, my man," said Castle, shaking the young man's hand.

They all turned their attention back to Evelyn once the greetings were out of the way.

"So, how're you doing?" asked Kate, drawing a chair up to the dining table where the adults had settled to talk, away from the curious ears of the girls.

"Didn't sleep much," confessed Evelyn. "Strange bed, strange noises. I feel bad about the cop standing outside the door all night, and then I worry that maybe he's fallen asleep and that man could just break in again."

Ryan interjected at this point.

"Evelyn, no one knows that you guys are here, outside of a small, closed circle at the 17th Precinct and Captain Gates. _I_ had to get clearance to come here this morning. So…try to relax, for the kids' sake. You're in good hands," he reassured her.

"Thanks, Kevin. But I don't think I'll relax until this thing is over."

Kate nodded in understanding.

"So, Castle and I went through that box of photographs you lent us last night," she explained, shutting out the memory of their discussion about Roy's death.

She opened the envelope she'd brought with her and removed the small pile of photographs, an assortment of wedding snaps and 4th July barbecue photos, birthdays and family vacations.

"We need your help identifying the men in these photographs. I know it must be hard to look at some of these, Evelyn. But if you could…?"

Evelyn slid the small stack towards her and shook her head.

"Anything I can do to help. You know you only have to ask, Kate."

"Great," said Kate, while Ryan went to fix them all coffee in the suite's small kitchen. "So, how about we start with this one."

Castle had snagged one of the hotel's notepads and a logoed pen from a console table in the small foyer on his way into the room, and only now did Kate realize that he wasn't partaking of some childish souvenir hunting.

He began numbering the photographs and added a short description, ready to note down the names and any other details Evelyn gave them for each man in turn.

"This is Roy's cousin, Eric," she said, tapping her finger on the first glossy image. She smiled warmly at the pleasant memory the picture stirred up. "We went to the Jersey Shore the first summer after Rebecca was born. This was taken after a perfect day on Point Pleasant beach. We cooked hotdogs on a small camping stove and built a fire on the beach to toast marshmallows."

Kate smiled along with her, thinking of a similar vacation she'd taken with her parents out on the eastern most tip of Long Island.

"Eric died of lung cancer back into 2008," said Evelyn, bringing Kate hurtling back to the hotel room. "The kids still miss him. He was the life and soul of the party," she said wistfully.

Kate listened patiently while Roy's widow reminisced some more, and when she felt she had reached an appropriate pause she slid the next photograph forward.

"And what about this one?"

"Barry Davis. My god, I had forgotten all about him. He was a friend of Roy's from college. They lost touch when Barry moved to England to teach American literature at Oxford. This was taken on one of the rare visits he made home. He married an English girl and they had two lovely boys. Flying back to visit got too expensive, I guess."

Kate shook her head at Castle and he added the man's name and occupation to the list and then marked a small cross beside it.

Ryan arrived back with a tray of coffees and some tiny plastic wrapped cinnamon cookies he'd found in the kitchen's small pantry.

"Okay, we're striking out so far," said Kate, for Ryan's benefit as she slid the two photographs they'd examined already towards him, and then he looked over Castle's notes.

"What about this one? Who's this guy?" asked Kate, handing over the photograph of Raglan, McCallister and a third mystery man to Evelyn, the photograph that showed the three men toasting one another with bottles of beer at the Montgomery's wedding.

Evelyn traced the photograph with her index finger, a sad little smile on her face.

"I guess the reason we get '_happiest days of our lives_' is to get us through days and months like this," she said philosophically. But her laugh was a little brittle, falling on the cynical side.

Kate swallowed hard, and then tried to distract herself with the cup of hot coffee Ryan had placed in front of her, allowing the steaming liquid a slow, harsh burn down her throat.

"Take your time," she said softly, covering Evelyn's hand with her own and giving it a squeeze.

"Well, you know who these two were," she said, tapping her nail against John Raglan and Gary McCalister's chests. "This third guy, he was a lawyer as far as I remember. Yeah, that's right. He was court-appointed when Roy and the boys first met him. He only came to our wedding because he was dating Raglan's sister, Cathy, at the time."

"So, you didn't really know him back then?" asked Kate.

"No. They only became friends about ten years later, when he worked a case the guys were directly involved in. Shooting of an FBI agent, I think it was. And this lawyer, Michael Mason, that was his name, he represented some mobster they collared for the shooting. Pulaggi, Pulgetti, something like that."

Kate's eyes snapped to Castle's and then she looked over at Ryan, who looked equally surprised.

"Anyway, the guy went down. Michael didn't seem too upset that he'd lost the case. I remember they all went out drinking together the night after the close. I thought it was kind of odd at the time, them being on opposing sides and everything."

"And they stayed friends?" asked Kate, trying to keep the wobble of excitement out of her voice.

"Sure. I mean he wasn't at our house for dinner every month, but yeah, they were friends. Michael got picked up for a job at a big city law firm on the back of that case. Guess some people win even when they lose."

"Do you know where he is now?"

"Last I heard, he'd given up the law and gone into private equity. Made a lot of money in big pharma before the crash. I remember Roy saying he was anointed, they way money flowed to him. He was rich enough to make some serous contributions to Senator Stinson's last campaign, I know that much."

"Was he at the funeral?" asked Castle, holding his breath.

Evelyn thought for a minute, and then she slowly shook her head.

"No. No, I don't believe he was. I don't remember much about that day, what with…well, everything," she said, looking at Kate, but deliberately not referencing the shooting. "But I _do_ remember who did and didn't show up. He sent a card and flowers to the house though. They arrived a few days after the funeral. I always wondered if maybe he'd been out of town at the time. It was unlike him not to show up for an event like that."

"Do you know where we can find him?" asked Kate, feeling her lungs constrict in her chest under a surge of adrenalin and the wild palpitations of her heart.

"Why? You don't think Michael…? _No_," she said, shaking her head.

"We have to rule everybody in, before we can rule them out, Evelyn. _You_ know that."

The Captain's widow nodded.

"All I know is that he lives somewhere on the Upper East Side, and he ran his private equity fund out of an office near Pershing Square. I'm sorry, I don't know where exactly or what the firm is called, or even if it still exists for that matter."

"Okay," said Kate, her voice soothing. "I think we've got enough to go on for now," she said, gathering up the rest of the photographs.

"You don't want to go through these?" asked Ryan.

Kate shook her head confidently.

"No. I think we've got what we need," she said, rising from the dining table.

* * *

Kate hugged Evelyn, and then she said her goodbyes to the kids. Only once they were out in the hotel corridor, away from prying ears, did she stop. Leaning against the wall outside the elevator, she closed her eyes briefly and let the information they'd just gathered wash over her.

"Michael Mason let a mobster go down for the Bob Armen shooting. Is that what you guys heard? And suddenly Montgomery, Raglan and McCallister are best buddies with a public defender?" said Ryan, covering his mouth with his hand, realizing just how corrupt the system had been back then, and how deep it ran.

"You know what this means," said Kate, looking at Castle directly.

He shook his head, still trying to weave the loose threads of a theory together.

"We may just have found our elusive Mr. Smith."

_A/N: I'm reading R.J. Ellory's 'A Quiet Vendetta' right now, and the Detective just got a phone message from his Sergeant that someone had called and left for him, and the note just said: "Always". The grin on my face when I read that!_

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you thought if you have a spare moment. Liv_


	49. Chapter 49 A Little Bit of Magic

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 49 – A Little Bit of Magic_**

They stopped at a diner on West 44th for coffee and a much needed brain shower, each of them desperately trying to make sense of what they'd just heard.

"Kate, you've looked at this thing inside out and upside down for the last thirteen years. How come we've never heard of this Michael Mason character before?" asked Castle.

"The Pulgatti case was a Federal criminal proceeding. The murder of an undercover FBI agent? That's big news. So it had profile, way too much profile, and the crime families distanced themselves from Pulgatti as a result. Hung him out to dry and then some. Left him to fend for himself."

"Nice," said Castle dryly. "What happened to honor among thieves?"

"It's all part of the code, Castle. Every mobster knows that – you get caught; you sacrifice yourself for the good of the family. That's just how it goes."

"So Pulgatti was sacrificed for a murder he probably didn't commit?"

"As I said, it was Federal. Too much heat for the mob to take any chances protecting their own. So, yeah, Joe Pulgatti was dropped. That meant his representation was left to the Federal Defenders office. There was still quite a legal team, with it being mob related and everything: lawyers, paralegals, investigators…it dragged on for months."

"And…can you remember…I mean was Mason ever mentioned in dispatches?"

"Aaron Grant had first chair, and _his name_ appears on all the legal documentation _I_ saw, but I do remember something about him missing days during the trial due to illness."

"Maybe he wasn't that sick?" suggested Ryan. "Maybe they bought him off…or…or '_persuaded'_ him to take the odd sick day."

"We have to get those trial transcripts. Go over them again. I want to see just how obvious this miscarriage of justice was, if there even was one. How blatant they were prepared to be in order to cover up the real circumstances of Bob Armen's murder in that alley."

"Your mom was working on Pulgatti's appeal, right? If _she_ didn't find anything, what makes you think we'll be able to?" asked Castle, hating the question but needing to ask it anyway.

"She never got to bring the appeal, Rick. She was still working on it when she was murdered. Maybe she ran out of time…maybe they got to her before she could share what she'd learned. We at least have to take a look."

Ryan checked his watch.

"Guys, I'm gonna have to get back to the Precinct. Gates is gonna wonder where I am," he said, looking whipped and apologetic for it at the same time.

"Go, Ryan," said Kate. "We can get a cab. I'll order up an electronic version of the trial transcript from the court reporter and we can go over it at home."

"Okay. What do you need from me?"

"See if you can get hold of an autopsy photograph for the John Doe in the Upper East Side homicide from Detective Howard at the 19th. Use Karpowski if you have to. Then we can compare it to Evelyn's photograph of Michael Mason from 1980, see if they match. Also, Mason's fingerprints should be in the system if he was working for the Federal Defender's office. Check if the coroner printed your John Doe and then give me a call?"

"On it, boss," said Ryan, grinning at Kate's enthusiasm, and enjoying the feel of their old familiar teamwork coming together again.

* * *

Ryan left the Red Flame Diner, while Kate and Castle sat on for another ten minutes, enjoying time alone, and the shift in their relationship now that they appeared to be back in the middle of a major case. Working together seemed easier, more comfortable, with the removal of all the previously unresolved tension. They could speak their minds more freely, forgo subtext, lean on one another when it mattered, and find comfort or glorious release in each other when they needed that too.

"If Mason _was_ Mr. Smith, and he was _as involved_ in Senator Stinson's campaign as Evelyn was suggesting, who knows how far up this goes?" said Castle, tracing an intricate pattern on the Formica tabletop through a spill of brown sugar.

"This always had the feel of some gigantic cover-up, you _know_ that."

"Yeah, but a _State Senator_?" hissed Castle, looking up from the table and into her eyes.

"What? Are you saying my mom wasn't important enough for these guys to bother with?" Kate whispered back.

"_No!_ God Kate, _no._ Of course, not," he shook his head definitively. "I just…"

Castle struggled to pin down exactly what he _was_ trying to say.

"These crimes happened nineteen and thirteen years ago, Castle. These guys would all have been much lower down the totem pole back then. Still getting their hands dirty, working their way up on the backs, shoulders and heads of whomever they had to step on to get to where they are today."

Castle nodded, accepting her point.

"That's why they're still working so hard at this thing. They're risking everything to protect the little fiefdoms they've created for themselves, making sure the whole house of cards doesn't come crashing down around their ears. And we're the thorn in their sides, trying to clean house once and for all."

"Why does that make me nervous?" he asked, lifting the coffee cup to his lips to take a sip of the lukewarm liquid.

"We talked about this. We agreed we'd do it together. I just need a couple more facts to fall into place and then we take it to Gates, get her backing to pursue it."

"You think after yesterday she's going to welcome you back with open arms?"

"No. No, I honestly don't," admitted Kate quietly. "But _maybe,_ if we prove ourselves with some honest to god, old fashioned detective work, she'll find she can't refuse us."

Kate shrugged, as if that was a distinct possibility. But Castle just snorted derisively.

"You saw the way she looked at me, like I was something dirty and unmentionable on the sole of her shoe," he reminded her.

"Yeah, well, we're a package deal. Don't ever forget that, Castle, 'cause I'm going to make damn sure Gates doesn't. You're my partner, so she either lets us both back in or…"

"_Or?_" he challenged, afraid of her answer if he was honest, but unable to stop himself from pushing the point.

"Just...let's not go there yet. We've got enough on our plates for right now. Suffice to say _you_ aren't the one who got yourself suspended. _I did_. You're only out of the Precinct because of me."

"I'm also only _in_ the Precinct because of you," he pointed out.

"And Bob," grinned Kate. "Don't forget Bob. He may come in handy if all other methods of persuasion fail."

"Such a name dropper, KB," teased Castle, shaking his head admonishingly. He stretched his hand across the table to reach for hers.

"I learned from the best," Kate fired back at him, lacing their fingers together.

"Yeah, you did," nodded Castle.

He had a big grin on his face, clearly proud of his corrupting influence.

"So, what do you want to do next?" he asked, draining his cup and wishing for all the world that they could just sit here and order another, protected in their own little world.

But this was Kate Beckett, and he knew she wouldn't rest now until this thing was done. So, he'd be by her side every step of the way, making sure she stayed safe until it was over.

"We arrange to get a copy of that trial transcript, and then I'm gonna request a list of Senator Stinson's campaign contributions. Thank heavens for the Freedom of Information Act."

"Kate, we start investigating a _State Senator_ and all hell's going to break loose," Castle pointed out, whispering so none of their fellow diners would hear.

"So we get our facts straight, we do it by the book, and no one can argue harassment or say that our motives are political. But most important of all, we do it quietly."

* * *

They left the diner, and stepped out into West 44th Street to be assaulted by the punishing glare and heat of the midday sun. Offices were starting to empty out, filling the sidewalks with workers taking early lunch breaks or people simply running errands between meetings.

Castle immediately felt sweat begin to prickle on his back, between his shoulder blades and in the waistband of his jeans. He took Kate's hand, leading her across to the shaded side of the street.

"Southern District Reporters are based in the US Courthouse way down in Foley Square," said Kate. "Why don't I call and request a copy of the transcript to be sent by email? There's no need for us to go there in person."

"Okay. Hey, didn't Evelyn say that Mason's private equity fund was based in an office in Pershing Square?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because we're only a few blocks from there. We could walk over, take a look around. Pershing Square's not that big. Maybe we find it and maybe we don't but…"

"Okay," laughed Kate. "You sold me already. Don't oversell, Castle."

"You make the call, and I'll Google Mason. Maybe we'll get lucky and this fund of his is eponymous. If the guy's got an ego, ten says it is."

"Yeah, and maybe pigs will fly," said Kate dryly, pulling out her phone because nothing about this case had ever come that easy.

* * *

They walked two blocks south on 6th Avenue and then hung a left into West 42nd Street, skirting the northern edge of Bryant Park. Castle was tempted to grab Kate's hand and drag her into the green oasis, but he knew deep down that if he did, they would end up settling on one of the Park's green metal folding chairs and spending the rest of the afternoon there, faces turned towards the sun. So he fought the urge and kept his eyes focused straight ahead, because he knew that was what his partner needed from him right now.

When they reached level with the New York Public Library, it was Kate who drew them across the street and onto the broad expanse of sidewalk that ran from 42nd to 40th Street. They passed in front of the white marble Beaux-Arts building, with it's classical columns and arched entranceways, the tug of the library's more than fifty million items whispering to Castle as they passed by.

He remembered visiting the library with Alexis when she was a little girl, and their ritual of calling on, first _Patience_ and then _Fortitude_, the two lion statues that guarded the entrance to the library. He realized, with the irony of an adult facing some of the harsher realities of life, that those were two qualities both he and Kate would need in spades over the coming weeks, if not months. When Alexis was a kid nothing had ever seemed that serious, certainly not the NYPL lions.

"Hey, where'd you go?" asked Kate, tugging on their joined hands to get his attention.

"Sorry," he laughed, "_just_…reminiscing."

"Oh yeah? You have a crush on a cute-but-uptight librarian or something?" teased Kate, nodding her head towards the large public building.

"Did I ever tell you I love it when you wear your hair in a bun?" he asked, kissing the back of her hand and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ah, that explains a lot," said Kate, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. "So, there is a little librarian fantasy in there somewhere?"

"No, actually," said Castle a little tartly. "Alexis and I, we used to come here Saturday mornings when she was little. She liked the lions and the Eloise books. Used to pretend that the library was the Plaza and she was Eloise, always crawling behind the book stacks to listen in to people's hushed conversations or trailing off to the ladies room by herself so I would flip out in panic that I'd lost her. Drove me mad."

Kate laughed. "How long did that phase last?"

"Until she was seven and a half and I told her that since Eloise was still six, pretending to be her was kind of a babyish thing to do."

"Oooo, _harsh_, daddy, and might I say something of a risky tactic, messing with a little girl's hero worship?"

"It had to be done. She was driving me nuts with the little dresses and…and the frilled ankle socks and the bow in her hair. Kate, have you any idea how difficult it was for me to tie a bow in a little girl's hair with these hands?" he asked, holding up his large hands and wiggling his masculine fingers.

Kate felt a pang in the center of her chest, marveling, not for the first time, at the amazing job he'd done as a single parent. His lack of self-pity in that respect was admirable. He wasn't looking for sympathy or praise, just recounting a funny tale in which he came off second best, all in order to amuse and entertain her. And she loved him for it.

"Anyway, mother did it for _me_," he carried on, "when she stole my Batman cape and burned it."

"She…_burned it?"_ asked Kate in surprise, stopping him with a hand to his arm. "That _is harsh_."

"Yeah, well, she told me she had a little accident with a lit cigarette, but I could tell she was lying."

"How could you tell?" asked Kate, thrilled with his story and filled with amusement.

"She has this thing that she does when she's lying, this tell, if you will."

"And what might that be?"

"Her nose twitches."

"Her…it _twitches?_" laughed Kate. "What like Samantha in Bewitched kind of twitches?"

"_Exactly_," nodded Castle. "She always said that part was written for her. Even claimed to have put a curse on Elizabeth Montgomery when her agent called and told her she hadn't passed the audition."

Kate burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, Rick," she managed between giggles, "but your family is _nuts._"

"Why, thank you, Detective Beckett. I'm glad we could amuse you," he said, taking her hand and leading her on down Fifth Avenue.

"Just out of interest," asked Kate, giving Castle a sideways glance, "how old _were you_ when Martha burned your cape, Bruce Wayne?"

She bit her lip to hold in her smirk, waiting for his answer.

Castle coughed and answered at the same time, masking his reply.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite hear you," she said, definitely smirking now.

"Fifteen," he admitted reluctantly.

"Uh-huh," nodded Kate. "Fifteen."

Her lips were pressed tightly together and she nodded her head slowly, tears of laughter forming in her eyes.

"Guess girlfriends were a little thin on the ground back then, what with you running around in Spandex n'all? Your mother most definitely did you a favor," she choked out, coughing to cover her own laughter.

"Batman is a sex god, I'll have you know," he declared. "They don't call him The Dark Knight for nothing."

"I can't say I disagree," admitted Kate. "There's definitely something about the sexy, brooding millionaire by day, leather-clad superhero by night thing. I just don't think _you_ at fifteen in whatever homemade getup you'd cobbled together was quite the look to get a teenage girl's heart racing."

Castle stopped dead at the corner of East 41st and Madison.

"You know what?" he asked, rubbing a hand down over his face. "You're probably right. I _was_ the _only guy_ in my class not to have a date for my sophomore prom. Do you think it was maybe the superhero obsession?" he asked, looking adorably clueless. "Because I'm beginning to see a pattern."

"A pattern?" asked Kate, wondering just what the hell was coming next.

"Freshman year we had this…this mixer, and I was going through my magic phase…"

"_You're_…I'm sorry?" choked Kate. "Did you say _magic phase?_ As in…?"

"Houdini, Doug Henning, David Copperfield," said Castle, completely straight-faced.

"Please tell me you didn't go to the mixer wearing a top hat and a cape?" asked Kate, her eyes shining with mirth.

"_No_," he said indignantly.

"Well, that's a relief."

"But there may have been a bowtie," he confessed.

"Jeez, Castle. _A bowtie?_" squeaked Kate, her eyes slamming to his.

"_What?_ I was a big fan of Lance Burton. He studied at the Magic Castle in L.A. He was one of the best."

"Wait," said Kate, grabbing hold of his arm to stop him walking any further. "When you changed your name from Rodgers to Castle…it wasn't because of…?"

Castle gave her a long, rather embarrassed look and then shrugged her off to carry on walking. Kate had to run to catch up with him.

* * *

They continued on in silence towards Pershing Square, cutting across Madison at East 41st Street until they hit Park, where they took a left. The Pershing Square Plaza lay in the southbound lanes of Park Avenue, next to the landmark Pershing Square Viaduct. The Plaza project was a community initiative between the Grand Central Partnership and the City of New York. Chairs and tables with sun umbrellas, trees and large planters overflowing with flowers studded the Plaza, creating a little urban oasis in the heart of Midtown where office workers and stay-at-home moms could come and enjoy lunch in the open air.

"So, Google gave us the thick end of nothing," said Castle. "Where do you propose we start?"

"The Square only has a few large office buildings. How about we split up, check the boards in each lobby, talk to building security staff. You take this side of the street and I'll take over there. Meet back here in twenty, if not before," she said, checking the time on her phone.

She had a new email in her inbox from Southern District Reporters, complete with attachment.

"Transcript's arrived for United States V Pulgatti. Let's do this quickly and then head home. Call if you find anything," she said, giving her partner a quick kiss on the cheek.

With a farewell squeeze of his hand, Kate disappeared into the lunchtime crowd, and suddenly Castle was on his own.

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews guys. I know some of you prefer fluff to casework. Still trying to blend both. Let me know how I'm doing if you would. Liv_


	50. Chapter 50 With Bells On

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 50 – With Bells On_**

Twenty-five minutes later and Castle was standing on the corner of Pershing Square and Park, _sweating_. He was sweating, and the blood was pulsing in his temples, his left eye was twitching, and it wasn't from the punishing heat outside. He had rivulets of sweat coursing down his back and his palms were moist, and it was all because his partner, his girlfriend, the freaking love of his li…

_Oh thank God._

Relief flooded through him like a surge of ice water.

"_Kate!_ Over here!" he yelled, waving madly at her from his position on the corner.

He tried to school his features, rearrange his face from tortured to barely perturbed, but all he managed was a constipated grimace that had her frowning anyway, and asking him what on earth was wrong.

"I…uh…nothing," he lied, covering it up with a quick, "You find anything?"

Real smooth Castle.

"Got an old guy on the desk over in the Pershing Square Building says he knew Mr. Mason. But the fund shut down over five years ago and they moved out of the building. So that lead's cold."

Kate ran her hand down Castle's arm.

"Are you sure you're okay? Because you feel a little warm," she said, pressing the back of her hand to his overheated forehead.

Her fingers were deliciously cool, and Castle wondered how on earth she managed to do that – stay so cool and look so crisp when he was melting into a little puddle right there on the sidewalk. If she was half-woman half-reptile she was doing a damn good job of hiding it. Though, come to think of it, there was this one thing she did when she flicked her tongue…

"I hope the fever isn't coming back," said Kate, breaking right into the middle of his sexual rumination.

Which was probably just as well, since thoughts of Kate's wicked tongue weren't helping him to cool down either.

"If this is a bust, maybe we should go home," he suggested, trying to play it casual while thinking maybe he could persuade Kate to give her tongue a little workout back at the loft.

But first, he'd be the good partner she depended upon. "Did you at least get a name for the company?"

"Yeah, uh…" Kate looked down at her phone, the notes app open in front of her, "he said it was called _Draco LLC_."

"Great. Well, that's a start. We can get Ryan to run financials and see what we can dig up ourselves."

* * *

They picked up lunch at a deli on the Plaza and then hailed a cab on the corner of East 41st. Castle lowered all the windows, trying to get some air movement through the cab's stuffy interior as they hurtled down Park and on to Park Avenue South.

Kate could smell the pesto in her mozzarella, sundried tomato and arugula ciabatta, and her stomach growled loudly. Castle laughed and nudged her knee with his own.

"A little hungry there, Beckett?" he asked, leaning over to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"Maybe," she said, evasively, deliberately teasing him by turning away to look out the window. "Play your cards right and I'll show you just how hungry when we get home," she murmured.

Castle bit his fist to prevent a growl escaping his throat.

"Anyway, your meatball marinara isn't exactly helping," she said, poking at the paper take-out bag Castle was holding on his knee.

A greasy red stain had bloomed in one corner of the paper bag, and Kate almost warned Castle not to get a spot on his pants, since the marinara sauce would be a bitch to get out…but she stopped herself just in time.

What, was she his _wife?_

She smiled to herself, surprised by how little that thought now scared her. But, hey Kate, slow it down, she counseled herself. He quite clearly said he didn't want to be _hitched_ to anyone after the tiger incident, so don't get ahead of yourself. But then again, he _did_ say he envied Ryan and Jenny, and had seemed rather wistful when she had suggested maybe third time was a charm...

Her partner's insatiable appetite broke her out of her daydream.

"You know I don't like to…uh…_exercise_," he said euphemistically, "on a full stomach? Well, I think I'm gonna have to make an exception this time."

His hand was creeping up her thigh.

"Why? Can't wait for your lunch, Castle? Don't fancy a little _dessert_ first?" she teased, sneaking her moist, pink tongue out between her teeth to dart against her upper lip.

"Anymore of that and I'll take you right here in this cab, young lady," threatened Castle, to an amused chuckle from Kate.

"Last thing this seat needs is more donor DNA," she joked, wrinkling her nose. "Keep it in your pants 'til we get home, stud."

* * *

Kate's phone rang as they coasted past Union Square and on down Broadway towards SoHo.

"Beckett?" she barked out of pure habit. "Oh, hey, Lanie. How're you?" she asked, her tone softening immediately at the sound of her girlfriend's voice.

Castle gave her a smile and then turned away to look out his side of the cab, trying to give her some privacy.

"That sounds like a great idea. I mean, sure they made a start on Saturday, but a night at the Old Haunt would probably seal the deal."

Kate laughed at something Lanie said, and Castle glanced round at her, wondering if he was the butt of their joke.

"Yeah, well we can always get Rick to lock them in the basement if things get ugly," said Kate, laying her hand on his knee and giving it a light squeeze as she laughed with her friend, her beautiful face lighting up, eyes sparkling with fun.

Kate's gesture was so natural and so instinctual - the way she reached out for him - and he felt his stomach flip.

Because there were still moments like this, moments, sometimes whole hours or days even, when he had to pinch himself to believe that this was finally happening. That his already wonderful life had turned a corner and he'd ended up in _Heaven On Earth Land_.

"Okay, you ask Javi and I'll ask Kevin. I need to call him anyway, so…"

Kate laughed again and then she blushed a deep shade of pink.

"Shut up," she hissed down the phone. "Yes, Lanie. _Yes_, he's here with me now. Do you want to…no? Okay, then _shut up_," she admonished her friend.

Castle watched her with affection and amusement, loving this woman more and more each day as he loosened the reins on his heart and let her burrow in deeper.

"Okay, hit me with it," he said, when she finally hung up, still grinning to herself. "What little scheme have you and our illustrious M.E. got me roped into this time?"

"You? _Huh_," huffed Kate. "If anyone's a schemer around here, Castle, it's you."

"So, you've been learning from the master. Are there any other ways I can corrupt the incorruptible lady Detective?"

"Oh, I can think of a few," purred Kate, leaning against her partner's side as the cab turned off Broadway and into Broome, pulling over just around the corner for them to get out.

* * *

They had to walk one block back to get to Castle's building, past the open parking lot on the corner of Crosby, and the day spa across the street.

Eduardo was standing out front, taking the air, and Kate wondered how on earth the man stood the early afternoon August temperatures in his heavy-looking, burgundy uniform.

They greeted the doorman and Kate audibly sighed with relief when the cool of the air conditioned lobby hit her, chilling the damp area on the back of her shirt wherever it touched her skin and raising goose bumps along her arms.

They rode the elevator in silence, both too worn out by the heat and too hungry to focus on anything but the food they were carrying and the thought of a cool shower.

"How about we take this up to the roof," suggested Castle. "We can open up the big sunshade and I can bring my laptop up so we can go over the trial transcript while we eat lunch."

"Will we even be able to see the screen up there? It's so bright."

"Sure," Castle promised her. "I've written up there heaps of times. Come on. It'll be more fun than staying indoors."

"WiFi?"

"Works a treat. Come on, Beckett, stop being such a stick in the mud."

So Kate gave in. But just to annoy him, she stripped off all her clothes as she made her way through the living room en route to the bedroom to change into her training shorts and a tank top. She scattered various items of clothing through the loft like a trail of breadcrumbs left in her wake, while Castle gaped in frustration from the kitchen, juggling water bottles and tied to the microwave while he warmed up his lunch.

* * *

"This might just be your best idea this year," said Kate, twenty minutes later as she stretched out on one of Castle's well-cushioned, (the man definitely knew good upholstery when he saw it) chaises.

The navy blue cushion was several inches thick, covered in soft terrycloth and embroidered with a little blood red turret design just above the headrest. A Castle.

Castle, _really?_

Kate sank back into its sinful softness and let out a long, slow breath, scrunching her bare toes against the baby-soft, microscopic loops of cotton.

"You look…" grinned Castle, "just too good, and too sexy, and too perfect, and too darn comfortable there," he said, raking his eyes up and down her body. "Is there a swimsuit or a bikini in that paltry collection of clothes you brought over here? Because…" he growled, crawling up from the foot of the lounger between her legs on his hands and knees, "you might want to take these off," he said, tugging on the hem of her tank top, as he whipped a dripping wet hand out from behind his back to deposit a handful of ice cubes down between her breasts.

Kate gasped in shock and sat bolt upright.

"You…you," she stammered, digging down the front of her top to pull the ice out before it could melt any further.

Her vest had gone from white to practically transparent in places, and Castle stared hungrily at the dark red blush of her left nipple where it had contracted to a hard peak with the chill of the ice and was now showing through the wet patch of fabric.

"Right. Come here," she demanded, snagging the front of Castle's pink polo shirt and dragging him towards her from his kneeling position between her thighs.

He toppled over, his mouth colliding clumsily with hers, teeth clashing, and he let out a burst of surprised laughter, which Kate quickly silenced with her tongue.

"You owe me, writer boy," she told him, between panted breaths.

"Whatever it is, I'll pay," he muttered, stealing her air. "Just. Don't. _Oh god_! Stop," he ground out, thrusting his hips against her while Kate wrapped her thighs either side of him, squeezing hard with her knees to fight the painful spike of arousal that shot though her lower abdomen.

Castle's mouth was so wet and needy on hers, his tongue forcing deeper and deeper past her lips, stroking and probing in time to the pulsing rhythm of his hips. Kate moaned loudly, her fingers making messy tracks through his hair. She could feel the solid mass of his erection pushing insistently against her inner thigh and so she reached out for him, intent on a long, slow caress.

* * *

Castle had his hand down the front of Kate's shorts when a young, female voice called out, "_Dad?_ _Kate?_ You up here?"

Shit, _Alexis!_

Kate shoved Castle back away from her as if he was on fire and burning her skin on contact. He sat back on his heels at the end of the chaise and had to catch onto Kate's ankle to prevent himself from falling off the end of the lounger and onto the hard, decked surface.

"Hey, pumpkin," he said, trying to inject a tone of nonchalance into his voice and failing miserably, since it came out as more of a tortured squeak.

Kate tugged her shirt down, crossed her arms over her damp chest and rolled her eyes, signaling for him to 'fix' himself before Alexis saw exactly what they had been up to.

The teen looked from one adult to the other and seemed to catch on pretty darn quick anyway. Their flushed cheeks, guilty expressions, and her dad's wild looking hair did nothing to help them.

"Am I…interrupting something?" she asked carefully, looking to Kate for the truth.

'_Since when…?'_ thought Castle.

"No, Alexis. Come and join us?" said Kate generously, patting the edge of the chaise for the girl to sit beside her. "We were just about to eat lunch and do some work. But there's plenty to go round."

Castle closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, trying to clear his arousal fogged brain. He turned his back on the girls to allow his somewhat excited state to subside, fiddling with their drinks and the tongs on the side of the ice bucket to distract himself.

Kate looked at his back longingly, feeling his pain. She would have laughed if Alexis hadn't been there. But then she'd be doing…eh, other things right now if Alexis hadn't turned up. Damn, but this kid thing was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

They shared out their lunch, splitting the two enormous portions between the three of them, and it wasn't until Alexis volunteered to take the dirty dishes downstairs so that she could change into her swimsuit, that they got a chance to be alone again.

"Kate, I'm really sorry," said Castle, sitting down level with her hip on the chaise.

Kate laughed, the memory of nearly getting caught having sex on Castle's rooftop by his daughter still fresh in her mind, the traitorous arousal still humming through her body, generating a low level, achy frustration.

"Hey," she said, rubbing her fingers up and down his left side, "not your fault. I'm just glad we weren't…you know, anymore _advanced_, when she got home."

"I think I need to tie a little bell around her neck, like a kitten, so we can hear when she's coming."

"Rick, don't be cruel," chuckled Kate, pushing lightly against his chest with the palm of her hand. "This is her _home_. We just need to learn to behave a little better."

"Not gonna happen, Kate," declared Castle assuredly.

* * *

His mouth was on hers, smothering the little protesting sounds she was making, when Alexis reappeared with a towel tucked under her arm and a horrified look on her face.

She quickly turned her head away, peering out between her fingers like she was hiding from a particularly gruesome horror movie.

"That's what you guys were doing when I came up her before, wasn't it?" she groaned. "And don't try to deny it, dad. You looked totally shifty."

Kate and Castle had pulled hastily apart for a second time, faces covered with guilt and shame.

"Pumpkin," Castle started to say, but Alexis cut him off.

"No, it's fine. Really. If you guys want to make out up here like up couple of teens, go right ahead. I'll be in my room, studying."

Kate got up and moved quickly to stop Alexis from leaving. She reached out to grasp the girl's arm. Alexis stopped walking and slowly turned round, looking down at the spot on her arm where Kate was holding onto her.

Kate got the message and dropped her hand, but not before she sent Castle packing to fetch them more drinks and asked Alexis to sit down with her for a minute.

"Thank you for staying to hear me out."

Alexis shrugged, as if she didn't feel she had a choice or it meant nothing to her.

"I'm sorry you walked in on your dad and I just now...and earlier. We shouldn't…"

"It's fine," mumbled Alexis, looking down at her bare knees, so surly, spiky and young.

"No. No, it's obviously _not_ fine," said Kate, a little more forcefully. "I know this is hard, all these changes, and me suddenly living here. But Alexis, this is _your_ home. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable here."

"I'm not…it's just…"

"I know," said Kate, sympathetically. "We're all finding our way through this. Your dad and I…this is new for us too - being together - and sometimes we maybe get a little carried away," she confessed. "And I'm sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable."

Alexis snorted and glanced shyly at Kate, a blush warming up her pale, almost transparent complexion.

"I can't promise it won't happen again. But I'll do my very best to make sure it doesn't. I just…I have to figure out a way to get your dad under control." said Kate, laughing along with Alexis. "And don't tell him I said that," she added, touching the girl's knee. "I want us all to get on. So, please stay up here with us this afternoon. We have to work on the case, and I'm going to be going over the old trial transcript my mom was working on when she died. So, I would really like it if you stayed. I could use the distraction," she confessed.

Alexis considered Kate's request for a second, warring with her desire to stay and her need to look like she wasn't caving in.

"Please?" asked Kate.

"Okay," the girl said finally.

"Great," said Kate, genuinely pleased. "How about you let your dad know he can come back up?"

* * *

When Castle reappeared behind Alexis he looked tentative and a little unsure.

Alexis wandered over to the far corner of the roof terrace to look out over SoHo, none too subtly giving them a minute alone.

"What'd you say to her?" whispered Castle, opening up his laptop while they settled themselves at the table underneath the enormous sun umbrella.

"Just told her we'd behave ourselves from now on."

"You _lied_ to my daughter?" he hissed theatrically, with a big smirk on his face.

Kate stared at him, her eyebrow arched in a challenge, the word _really_ hovering on her lips.

When he swallowed, and then failed to say anything further, Kate said, "Yeah, that's what I thought," and then she elbowed him out of the way, and slid the laptop in front of her so that he couldn't see the screen.

Castle's pout was so pronounced that a small army of pygmies could have sheltered in the shadow cast by his protruding lower lip.

Kate fought a smile until her cheeks began to ache, then she nudged him in the ribs and moved her chair closer.

Alexis came over to sit with them. Settling in the shade of the umbrella on the opposite side of the table, she opened her book and began to read. The moment felt simple and easy, though Kate could feel a definite shift in all of them - something good, and calm, and accepting.

"Help me?" she asked in a quiet voice, turning the laptop screen round to share with her partner as she double clicked on the attachment that read '_United States V Pulgatti'_.

_A/N: I just realized we've reached 50 chapters! This one ended up more fluff than casework. That's just the way it goes with these characters sometimes. I'll make them knuckle down soon, I promise. Thank you for the lovely reviews…hint, hint. ;) Liv_


	51. Chapter 51 United States V Joe Pulgatti

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 51 – United States V Joseph Pulgatti_**

Going through the transcript was a plodding nightmare. Every word, every line reminded Kate of her mother; that she'd tread this same path, read these same phrases, underlined some of these words maybe, broken down these statements again and again looking for…_something_.

Something that might not even _be _there.

Kate shook her head, closed her eyes, and then arched her tired back.

"This is…" she sighed, leaning back from the table to lace both hands behind her head.

Alexis look up from her book, seemed to know exactly what was needed.

"How about I get you guys coffee," she suggested, halfway to the door before they could nod in the affirmative.

"She's trying, I'll give you that," said Castle. "Whatever you said seems to have worked because she _is_ trying."

Kate yawned and Castle rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"I just told her the truth - that I needed her to be here because we're working on the same case my mom was working on when she died, and so I need her around to…I don't know, make this seem more _normal_. She's a good kid, Rick. We just need to consider her more."

"And you're a good woman, Katherine Beckett," said Castle proudly.

He leaned towards her to kiss her neck, but Kate held him off with a hand to his chest.

"Alexis will be back here any second. Three times in one day might be pushing it. Let's save it for later, hmm?"

"Hold you to that," said Castle, turning back to the screen.

* * *

United States V Pulgatti had lasted three weeks in court, plus the countless weeks beforehand in pre-trial prep, when the team of attorneys, paralegals and investigators had labored to create a case so airtight against the mob enforcer, Joe Pulgatti, that there was no way he could worm out of justice.

Their break had come when Pulgatti had finally given in, part way through the trial, and pled guilty to the murder of Bob Armen. He'd told Kate and Castle, when they'd visited him in jail after John Raglan was murdered, that he did it because he was afraid of the needle. He realized he was going down, since he was being framed by dirty cops and probably at lease one of his lawyers. But the fact that he wasn't guilty of the crime, and that Kate's mom had been the only lawyer to listen to him, to believe him when he wrote to her, rankled with Kate. She wanted to solve this thing not only to avenge her mom's murder and hold those responsible to account, she also wanted to solve her mom's last case and expose this miscarriage of justice to the world.

* * *

Alexis appeared with a tray of drinks – ice water, a pot of coffee, some cheese and biscuits and a little bowl of fruit.

"Thanks, pumpkin," said Castle. "That's really thoughtful."

"No problem," said Alexis. "You look like you could use it. How's it going so far?" she asked, addressing her question to Kate.

"Slowly. Going through trial transcripts is a special brand of torture. All the sidebars, the objections, delaying tactics, the legalese, the _he said, she said_ stuff…" she sighed, rubbing at her eyes.

"Wait," said Castle. "That's it!"

"That's it, what?" asked Kate, eyeing him warily.

"A trial – it's just a play - a really long, _boring_ play for the most part, but a play none-the-less. I'll bet if we print this stuff off and share out the parts…"

"Oh, dibs on your perp," cried Alexis, grinning at her dad and then casting a more serious glance at Kate, hoping she hadn't over-stepped.

Kate looked a little dubious.

"Come on. Mother's due home any minute and who better to go through this thing with us. If we all run lines together…"

"We'll get through it a lot quicker," acknowledged Kate.

"Exactly," said Castle, jumping up.

"Rick, if we're going to do this…" started Kate seriously, "then…"

"You want to be the director, don't you?" he asked, with both hands on his hips.

"How did you even…?" asked Kate, shaking her head at him.

"Four years, my love," he teased, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. Kate blushed at the affectionate term. "That, and you're such a control freak, so it kind of fits," he added with a chuckle.

Kate glared at him, and Alexis laughed. When Kate turned to look at Alexis the girl quickly shut up.

* * *

So they took a brief break while they waited for Martha to come home. Kate and Alexis stayed up on the roof, enjoying a snack and a drink in the shade, while Castle went down to his office to turn the printer on and make sure there was enough paper in the feeder tray before he sent the trial document to print wirelessly from the roof terrace.

When he came back upstairs the girls were laughing about something, and he paused in the shadow of doorway to watch them. Kate looked so much more relaxed working on the case this time around, and he knew that he had his daughter to thank for that in part, and he hoped he played a small role in there somewhere too, preventing her from falling back down the rabbit hole alone.

They looked so good, laughing together, so at ease. He could tell Alexis was starting to trust Kate more. Her defenses and objections were being overcome the longer Kate stuck around and the more often she tackled issues with Alexis head-on, instead of treating her like a nuisance and an inconvenience, they way all of his previous wives and girlfriends had, including the girl's own mother.

The sun was getting ready to make its slow, graceful decent down over the Hudson, the harsh, stifling heat having leached out of the day an hour or so ago. Castle walked to the edge of the rooftop and looked out over Broome Street. Long shadows were being cast across the parking lot on the opposite corner, and the early evening crowd were starting to take to the streets for drinks or dinner or just heading back home from work.

Sometimes he wished something as uncomplicated as that for himself, like his old life, and then he turned and looked at Kate and she quite simply stole his breath away. And he wouldn't have wished for anything different, not one single second, if it brought him here, to this precious time with her and his daughter, enjoying the last of the sunshine on a hot August afternoon, knowing she would be here with him when he went to bed tonight, and would wake up with him tomorrow…_wake up with him_…he shook his head. All those days he had watched her at the Precinct, longing to reach out, to touch her, to let a look they had shared blossom into something more, to have the courage to say what was on his mind, the words fighting to break free of his cowardly brain.

'_I'm your partner.' 'I'm your friend'_.

The words rang in his ears.

Castle shook his head again, his eyes stinging from staring for such a prolonged length of time at his girlfriend and his daughter. Kate had never been just those things to him, he realized. Right from the very start she had been extraordinary. Right from the very start she had captured his heart and his imagination. If there was such a thing as fate, and he above all people believed that there was, then she was his proof, and he realized that maybe if he had understood that sooner, had he had just a little more faith, then his tortuous wait to have her recognize what he had known all along might not have been so onerous, so uncomfortable, so damn painful to live through.

Kate looked up and caught him staring. She cast him a worried, questioning look. But he shook his head at her to stop her from asking whatever question she was forming in front of Alexis, one he surely wouldn't want to answer with his daughter there to witness his weakness, his pain...just how pathetic he could be.

"Right. I'll print this baby off, and then we can go downstairs and start rehearsals," he suggested, trying to lighten his own mood as much as Kate's.

She watched him for a moment or two longer, and then turned her attention back to Alexis. Castle breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing Kate needed was to hear the dark thoughts swirling through his head when there was actually nothing wrong. He would save his darkness for when it really mattered…and the way their lives went, his wait probably wouldn't be that long.

* * *

Kate got up to phone Ryan. She paced the decking as she told him about Michael Mason's now defunct private equity fund, Draco LLC. She asked him to run the company's financials on his end, and he promised to send her the photograph he'd gotten from the 19th of their Upper East Side John Doe. Mason's fingerprints had shown up in the City's database of public defenders as Kate had guessed they would. But they were still waiting for the M.E. to input John Doe's into the system because of some sticky little backup in the workload at the lab. Hot August nights always increased the homicide rate in NYC – a fact that was sad, but no less true.

Castle signaled to her that he was going downstairs and she gave him a wave of acknowledgement and then carried on her call. She asked Ryan if he and Jenny could make it to the Old Haunt the following night for a few drinks as she'd promised Lanie she would, and then she rang off to go and find her partner.

* * *

Castle was in his office, collating sheets and sheets of printed paper. Kate came over to help him.

"This may take a while," he said, wielding a highlighter like a professional proofreader.

Kate lifted the first portion of the transcript and flicked the pages over like a flicker book. Her eyes caught something on the way past and she went back to the beginning, flicked again.

There. She saw it clearly this time, and stopped at the open page.

"Rick," she said, staring down at the black typed words.

Castle looked up with a vague, "Hmm?"

"His name. It's here on the Docket Sheet, in the list of legal representatives."

Castle came round by her side, put one hand on her waist as he read the docket over her shoulder. On that page, a kind of judicial table of contents, the court had listed all the proceedings and filings in the case in reverse chronological order. There was the full name of the parties involved – United States Versus Joseph Anthony Pulgatti – the docket number, the location of the court in which the case had been filed, the date of the trial, and lastly, the name of the judge and a list of the attorneys involved in the case.

Michael Mason was listed as second chair, underneath Aaron Grant.

"Why did we not see this before?" asked Castle.

"Because when I went back over the case, after you figured out my mom was reviewing Bob Armen's murder trial when she died and we talked to Pulgatti in jail, I pulled the original NYPD investigation from Records. I didn't look at the trial transcript. I thought it would be too derivative. The original investigative material seemed more like going back to source, and I figured that might be our best chance of finding some new information my mom would never have had access to."

"Makes sense," said Castle, to stop Kate from being too hard on herself.

He stilled right next to her, dropped his hand from her waist, and pointed to the very bottom of the page, next to the slightly smudged Southern District of New York court seal that showed up on the PDF in a pale blue color, the eagle in the center with it's olive branch and sheaf of wheat faded to an outline.

"Look," he said, his voice quavering with excitement.

The signature next to the seal was in flowing cursive, more of a feminine hand if Kate had had to place a bet, the contours a little faint in places, but there was no mistaking the name of the signatory printed below the line. It read _Document Clerk: Scott Murray_.

The same Scott Murray who was found murdered two months after Johanna Beckett, killed with exactly the same M.O. – a fatal stab to the kidney, followed by several superficial stab wounds to the rest of his body - injuries designed to disguise the nature of the murder as a random mugging gone wrong, rather than what it actually was – a targeted hit carried out in a dirty alleyway behind a bar.

Kate gripped Castle's wrist. Just seeing Scott Murray's name in print, never mind his original signature, sent a cold chill down her spine.

"We…um. Castle, if Michael Mason is dead, my mom is dead, Scott Murray is dead and we now know these people were all linked to the Armen murder trial. And Diane Cavanaugh and Jennifer Stewart were both working with my mom on the Justice Initiative, and they were murdered in the same manner…"

"Then we have to link the 'Take Back the Streets' campaign to the Armen case," said Castle, echoing Kate's thoughts.

"_Or_…find out if Diane and Jennifer were working with my mom on Pulgatti's appeal."

* * *

There was a commotion out in the living room and Castle went to check it out. Martha had arrived home with '_Hamptons Harry'_ in tow. Just great! Castle waved briefly at the pair of them and then turned back towards the office.

"My mother's home and for once that's the good news."

"What's the bad news?" asked Kate, distractedly, sucking on the end of a pen as she read from the pile of printed pages.

"She has Harry with her."

Kate looked up with a warm smile on her face.

"Oh, but I like Harry."

"Yes, and I'm pleased you like my mother's…eh, friend. But how're we supposed to go over the trial if he's here hogging her attention."

"We don't," said Kate. "We've done enough for one day. Let's just focus on having a family dinner and wait for Ryan to call back once John Doe's fingerprints have been added to AFIS."

"You sure?" asked Castle in surprise.

"Yes," said Kate assuredly. "I need our life to be about more than police work and dead bodies, Rick."

"We've been about more than that for a longtime, Kate," he reassured her, drawing her to him for a warm hug. "But it's good to hear you say it."

They stood that way, eyes closed, swaying slightly, for a couple of minutes, just resting together in the moment until Castle spoke again.

"Come, help me make dinner for the crazies?" he asked, gently taking the stack of papers from Kate's hand and depositing them on the desk.

Kate took the hand Castle offered her, followed him out of the office, and didn't look back.

He could see how hard she was trying, how she needed to prove to him that she could keep her promise to him _and_ work this case at the same time, and he was truly grateful for the effort she was making.

* * *

They had barely gone five steps when her cell phone started to ring.

"Hey, Ryan," she said, hovering near the open bookshelves, while Castle lingered at her side.

"Prints have been added to the system, Beckett," he said, and Kate bobbed her head, her eyes widening, eyebrows raised as she waited for him to go on.

When he didn't say anything more, Kate added, "_Well?_ Don't keep us hanging, Kevin. Is there a spoiler alert or what?"

"Our John Doe ain't a John Doe anymore," he said, thanking someone in the background of the call for handing him something. "You were right. Michael Mason _was _murdered by Cole Maddox in that Upper East Side apartment a week ago. The prints were an exact match, Beckett."

_A/N: This chapter was case heavy, I know. But please stick with me. I'm giving them a night out with Espo and Ryan soon. Promise! Liv_


	52. Chapter 52 The BrotherinLaw

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 52 – The Brother-in-Law_**

Ryan was already waiting at Remy's when Kate and Castle arrived at the restaurant, a little after eight the next morning. He was nursing a cup of coffee. A half-eaten croissant sat on a white ceramic plate in front of him, buttery flakes of pastry littering the grey plastic tabletop in a halo around the plate.

He waved them over to the corner booth, arm moving enthusiastically, head bobbing - just _so_ Kevin Ryan.

"Thanks for coming," he said a little breathlessly, looking around the diner to make sure they were alone, that no cops from the Precinct had wandered in off the nightshift for a late breakfast or a really early lunch.

"Hey, Ryan. How'd you sleep?" asked Kate, sliding into the booth opposite the Irish detective.

Castle slid in next to Kate, his large frame dwarfing hers, broad shoulders, broad chest, everything about him seemed large in the confines of the booth, and in contrast to Kate's graceful, slender, elegant lines. He wore a bright blue button down, the fabric expensive and fine, the main color shot through with a hint of purple that only exposed itself when the wearer turned or shifted and the light caught the warp and weft in a slightly different way.

He looked good, Ryan thought, they both did, despite everything. Gone was Kate's haunted look, the look he and Esposito had grown so accustomed to seeing every time a new lead came up in her mother's case and she was sucked back in by the undertow. She looked balanced, eager and motivated, but balanced. Castle also looked better. His eyes followed Kate with a sparkle now, relaxed humor and pride, mixed with his obvious love for her. Gone was the whipped puppy look of old, the taint of desperation and frustration he'd carried with him for so long that co-mingled, on his worst days, with a hefty dose of self-loathing. Ryan had long suspected that was due to his inability to tell his partner exactly how he felt about her. He also wondered just how much responsibility he and Esposito should have to bear for that.

"Sleep? Not much. You?" he asked, looking first at Kate and then at Castle.

They'd stayed up really late, talking, trying to plan their next move, wondering how far they could take the investigation without the help of Kate's badge to open doors. But although they'd created a link between Scott Murray and the Bob Armen case, they didn't feel they had enough to take to Gates yet.

"We really need to get into that crime scene," said Kate. "Did Detective Howard make the match or…?"

"Karpowski's been sitting on it for me. She pulled up Michael Mason's prints on the Federal employee database, and as soon as Howard gave her the nod that John Doe's had been uploaded into the system she ran the comparison."

"_So_…Howard has a name now?"

"Yes. We couldn't keep it from him. They'd have found it themselves as soon as they logged into AFIS."

Kate nodded in understanding.

"Did you find out anything about the private equity fund?" she asked.

Ryan opened his notebook on top of the table, sweeping his coffee cup and the half-eaten pastry aside.

"Draco LLC was an upper to mid-market fund, operating in the $500 million range," he read, from some hastily scribbled notes.

Kate whistled, but Castle kept his mouth shut, listening intently to Ryan's summary.

"They had several funds under management over the years, in a range of disparate sectors."

"Like?" asked Kate, leaning forward, her chin resting on her hand.

"Well, and I should add at this point that I had to go to my brother-in-law for a lot of this 'cause it's kind of above my pay grade. You'll see what I mean when...oh, here's Jerry now," said Ryan, waving at a thin, pale, bookish kind of a guy who'd just walked into the diner and was currently looking around, a little lost.

* * *

Jerry Duffy-O'Malley was a sandy haired, bespectacled accountant who worked at a boutique accountancy practice in Midtown. Brother of Jenny Ryan, both Kate and Castle had met the man only once before, at Kevin and Jenny's wedding, and seeing him again brought back warm memories for all of them.

"Hey, Jerry. Thanks for coming in," said Ryan, shaking his brother-in-law's hand. "You remember Kate and Rick?"

"Sure do. _The_ most watched dancers at your wedding. A regular Fred and Ginger combo, as I recall. You guys really stole the show," said Jerry, shaking them both warmly by the hand.

The waitress came over to top up their coffee and take Jerry's order. Kate blushed at the compliment, and then she felt Castle's fingers settle on her thigh, begin the slow climb upwards, until she had to nudge him to make him stop, when her skin started tingling all over and she couldn't think straight anymore.

Memories of his hands, while they were on the dance floor, scorching heat all over her in that tight grey Prada dress she'd worn to the wedding, not a fraction of space between the fabric and her skin, came flooding back. They'd used that dance floor as an excuse, she realized, an excuse to get up close and personal in front of everyone, without fear of teasing or reprisal or even having to talk about it to each other.

The champagne had flowed, and her tongue had loosened, and '_Castle, dance with me'_, had slipped from her lips on more than one occasion, sloppy and slurred towards the end of the night. A new warmth climbed her neck and she closed her eyes for a second, had to clear her head to shake it off. She'd requested a song from the band…something…_oh god_, she nearly groaned out loud at the sudden rush of recollection. _Foreigner, I Want to Know What Love Is_. Shit! How embarrassing. No wonder Lanie had laughed at her the next day.

She'd been almost certain that something had changed for them that night, (_maybe_ _we could be each other's plus one_) and things _had_ gotten better for awhile, and then it had all gone downhill rapidly until…

But, that was all ancient history now, she reminded herself, refocusing on the complex detail of the 'expert testimony' Jerry was currently delivering.

* * *

"So, anyway, if you're talking different sectors, the 2003 fund, for example, specialized in oil and gas," Jerry was saying. "The 2005 fund was for investors who wanted to put their money into infrastructure, such as airports, harbors, roads, and the like. And by investors I mean big institutional investors, like insurance companies and pension funds. Not mom and pop with a little money tucked away under the mattress."

"So what happened? Why'd they close it down?" asked Kate, stealing a piece of croissant from Ryan's plate and giving him a cheeky smile.

"They had an early fund, from 1996, which specialized in pharmaceuticals. It was a $200 million proposition at its peak. But a couple of key drugs in the main company's portfolio began to report unwanted side effects, and eventually the FDA pulled the licenses, and all the R&D expenditure invested in developing those drugs over the years went down the drain before they could be off-set against sales. Couple that with the licenses for several of their proprietary medicines expiring, and all too soon cheaper, generic products showed up on the market, and suddenly one of their key performing funds was in free-fall and investors were not happy."

"But that was back in '96. They didn't close down until 2007."

"No. The pharma fund was _launched_ in '96, when the investment was raised, but the losses didn't build up until the early 2000's. There was a suspicion that some of the fund managers had been using money from the better performing funds to shore up the ailing pharma fund, which in itself would have been completely illegal."

"How so?" asked Kate.

"Funds are ring-fenced, which is critical because investors buy into a particular fund, let's say business services for argument's sake, because that's where their interest or expertise lies, and that's where they believe there's profit to be made. As a result, it's completely illegal to use gains made in one fund to cover losses in another. In that way, investors money is protected from risk or manipulation, other than the calculated risk they themselves undertook at the point of investing."

"Was anything ever proven?" asked Castle.

"The SEC started to investigate, and then things went quiet. The whole company was just gradually wound down. They closed to new investors, no new funds were launched, and by 2007 everyone had been paid off, the investigation had gone away, or at least dropped out of the financial press, and then Draco LLC was no more."

"What about Michael Mason? He obviously didn't end up destitute and penniless."

"No, that's right, he didn't. Private equity houses generally work on the '2 and 20' formula," Jerry explained. "Meaning they collect a management fee of 2% for the assets they manage and a performance fee of 20% on any profits that are made. So this guy was raking it in from 1996, when he set up the fund, until 2007 when it closed down. Investigation or not, he was rumored to have cleared around $50 million in fees alone. Partners also view fees as capital gains, and therefore they're taxed at only 15%."

"15%!" spluttered Castle, "But I…"

Kate looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Clearly now was not the time or the place to get into his own tax situation, so he wisely shut up and listened instead.

"All perfectly legal according to Federal partnership tax rules. But the rules were drawn up before private equity became so large-scale and profitable. These tax rules were really created with property partnerships and small businesses in mind."

"That would explain the political reach he was able to gain by contributing to Senator Stinson's campaign," said Kate to Castle, "if he'd generated sufficient personal wealth to be able to buy influence."

"You make an enemy of the Securities and Exchange Commission and they're never going to leave you alone unless you have powerful friends, and even better accountants and lawyers in your camp," agreed Jerry. "Private equity funds have sometimes been suspected of overstating the value of their portfolios in order to attract new investors, but since they're not listed on any exchange, auditing the authenticity of that value can be a difficult thing for the authorities to do."

"So…they can just claim a higher level of return and not have to back it up?" asked Kate.

"Not exactly that, but close. It's more about the subjective valuation of the illiquid holdings under management. They've escaped a lot of the regulatory scrutiny that the banks and hedge funds have attracted over the years, but that _is_ changing. The SEC views the reporting of valuations and returns as a little too _idiosyncratic_ for their liking. They've largely avoided federal lawmaking because their investors – the pension funds and large insurance companies I already mentioned, but also foreign governments – are viewed as more savvy, sophisticated investors than most."

"So Michael Mason must have been moving in an influential world. Wonder how a public defender from Brooklyn ended up running a multi-million dollar fund _and_ propping up a Senatorial campaign?" Kate pondered aloud.

"He'd have needed some serious backing to get started, that's for sure. You know there were rumors back in the day that he was fronting for the mafia in the beginning, kind of a sophisticated money-laundering setup, if you will. But it obviously grew beyond that once they got up some scale and made a name for themselves, especially with their early success in pharmaceuticals at the end of the nineties."

* * *

Kate listened to Jerry Duffy-O'Malley with rapt fascination. The mafia – the five families and their truce, letting Joe Pulgatti take the fall to protect the family business, Michael Mason suddenly getting picked up by a big name law firm on the back of a criminal proceeding that by any measure was a disaster for his client…it was all starting to make sense.

"And your man got out of the business just in time," continued Jerry, "then he disappeared off the radar almost completely. Under the Dodd-Frank financial reform law, most private equity firms had to register with the S.E.C. by the end of March this year. The period of inflated valuations is coming to an end. Party's over in that respect."

Kate nodded absently, still processing what she'd just heard.

Jerry leant back in the booth and took a long swig of coffee.

"So…no wedding bells for you guys yet?" he asked innocently.

Ryan laughed, and then reined in his mirth after the look he got from Kate.

"Oh, no. We…uh…we only just got together," explained Kate, her cheeks pinking up, but her eyes sparkling.

"Oh wow! I'm sorry. It's just…" Jerry frowned and looked from one to the other. "You looked so good together on the dance floor, I mean, I just assumed you'd been together for years. In fact, so did a lot of people from the comments I heard running around the tables," he added, to Kate's horror.

"Well, we had been, in a way," said Castle, looking at Kate, his fingers lightly squeezing her knee. "Just not in _that_ way," he added, playfully bumping her shoulder.

"Well, I should really go," said Jerry, looking down at his watch. "It was lovely seeing you guys again. Just get Kevin to give me a call if you need any more information. I'm always more than happy to help out the NYPD. Beats the hell out of what I do day-in-day-out, that's for sure."

They both rose from the table and shook Jerry's hand, before thanking him and wishing him well. Then they all sat back down to confer.

* * *

Castle spoke first.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Duffy-O'Malley called their kids Jenny and Jerry?" he mused. "Hmm. We could have Alexis and her little brother Texas," he suggested, throwing a hopeful grin Kate's way.

She looked back at him as if he had horns.

"If you think I'm letting you impregnate me so you can call our kid Texas, you have another think coming, Richard Castle."

Ryan didn't know whether to laugh or leave the diner. This conversation was edging so close to uncomfortable that his only option was to change the subject.

But Castle got in first.

"Sextus then?" he suggested with a barely concealed smirk. "'Cause that rhymes with Alexi…"

"Yeah, _Sex_-tus is the last thing you'll be having if you don't shut up," snapped Kate, turning away from Castle to focus on Ryan.

"So, you heard that, right?" she asked the detective, frowning as she listened to Castle sigh loudly in the seat next to her, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child who'd just been told off for jumping on his bed. "Mafia money behind Mason's private equity fund? And _pharmaceuticals_? What a perfect way for the Gambino's, the Genovese's, maybe even Vulcan Simmons and his ilk, to launder money and drugs through a seemingly legitimate source, with low regulatory over-sight, scale, profile – they were hiding in plain sight," she said excitedly.

"You think maybe your mom was on her way to figuring that out?" asked Ryan.

Kate ran the tip of her finger around the edge of the worn ceramic mug in front of her, tracing the outline of the rim, deep in thought.

"I think she found out something about the Pulgatti case, for sure – a weakness in the investigation, evidence tampering or suppression, inadequate representation, _something_... But we still have to connect Jennifer Stewart and Diane Cavanaugh to either _that_ case, the drugs scene in Washington Heights, or the mafia money, before I can go to Gates with this."

Then it was Ryan's turn to look at his watch. He gave it a quick, furtive glance.

"Speaking of…I should really…" he jerked his head in the direction of the One-Two.

"Go. And thanks for bringing Jerry in, that was really helpful, Ryan. I think I'm gonna swing by my place, go back over my mom's old appointment books. See if any of her notes make more sense in light of what we've just heard. I'll call you if we find anything," she promised.

"Failing that, we'll see you at the Old Haunt at seven," said Ryan, giving them a little wave before he turned and walked out of Remy's, slotting into the busy flow of pedestrian traffic.

* * *

"_So_…you wanna to go to your apartment now?" asked Castle, not long after Ryan left, a flicker of something passing across his face with the question.

Was that fear? Or insecurity?

"To get my mom's notebooks, Rick," she reassured him. "And, if you're a good boy, maybe we'll pick up a couple of my bikinis while we're there," she teased, nudging him so they could both slide out of the booth and go fetch the car.

"Oh, lead on, Detective. Lead on," said Castle, leering openly as he watched the swing of Kate's hips in a figure-hugging black cotton pencil skirt, while she made her way out of the diner ahead of him, the back of her black lace bra showing decadently through her white, fitted shirt.

Yes, this was definitely shaping up to be a good day, he thought to himself, as he held open the door of his cherry red Ferrari for his partner and watched as she folded her long tan legs into the high-powered machine.

Yes, a very good day indeed.

_A/N: This chapter was heavy on detail and light on humor, I know. But they can't be laughing or making out all the time. (Why not? I hear you cry.) And maybe y'all learned something about private equity. Every day's a school day, as they say. Remember Mr. Smith is Michael Mason, and his money and influence had to come from somewhere. Old Haunt coming up…should be fun. Liv_


	53. Chapter 53 There Was No One Else

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 53 – There Was No One Else_**

Castle drove to Kate's apartment. He hummed along quietly to his own iPod playlist, giving Kate an offended glance when she snorted as Rod Stewart's '_You Wear It Well'_ came on, and she shoved him in the arm.

"Ho! Man at the wheel here, Beckett," he warned her. "Don't want to get cited for dangerous driving."

"Sorry. But, _seriously?_ You wear it well, Castle? You were thinking about yourself when you up uploaded that, _right?_"

Castle smirked, and slid his eyes down to look at Kate's long legs, bare save for the mere four or five inches still covered by her skirt.

"Honey, if anyone wears it well..." he drawled, skating his fingertips all the way up her thigh until he could skim them under the hem of her skirt, stroking the soft, sensitive skin between her legs.

"_Now_ who's indulging in dangerous driving," chastised Kate, lifting his hand out from under her skirt and depositing it back on the wheel. "And, _honey_, Castle? What are we, Sugarland?"

She let her own hand fall to rest on his thigh by way of compensation, flexing her fingers around his quad, feeling his muscles tense up under her touch, her nails cresting along the inseam of his black jeans.

"Oh god, I just noticed we match," groaned Kate, looking down at her own outfit and then across at his. "That's _disgustingly_ cute, like something Jenny and Ryan would do," she moaned, turning away to look out of the window, her free hand sliding distractedly through her hair.

Castle was wearing a white linen shirt with black jeans, the sleeves rolled up to expose his tan forearms. He glanced across at Kate again, grinning at how ridiculous she was being.

"I promise you we look nothing alike," he said, eyeing up the top button of her shirt, which was straining a little against the swell of her breasts and the tension of the seatbelt.

The urge to pop it open made his fingers twitch around the cream leather steering wheel, and he had to drag his eyes away to focus on the road ahead.

When he pulled over to the curb and parked up in front of Kate's building, Castle released his seatbelt, but made no move to get out of the car. He swiveled round in the seat instead, turning to face Kate.

"You know…seeing Jerry today got me thinking about Ryan and Jenny's wedding," he said, smoothing his palms down the front of his jeans.

"Oh?" said Kate, trying to keep the flash of interest out of her voice, since she'd been thinking about it too.

"Yeah…I…uh…don't think I ever thanked you properly for saving my ass that day," he said, and Kate whipped her head up in surprise to look at him.

"Thanked me?" she asked, eyeing his face curiously.

"Yeah, when Alexis kind of…well, when she dumped me at the last minute and you kindly suggested that we could be each other's plus one," he explained, haltingly.

"_Kindly?_" said Kate, dumbly.

"Yes. When you got me out of a tight spot, with the whole singles table thing, and…"

Castle stared at Kate, as if he was seeing her afresh, his eyes wide and blue, mesmerized by her.

"You know I've always wondered why you didn't bring someone…a date, I mean?" he asked quietly, searching her face, his eyes roaming over every part of her.

His question startled her. This was their very recent history they were talking about, and back then, they just didn't do this.

He rubbed his palms down the front of his jeans again, nervously, Kate noted. _Men_, they all want to know, but they _don't_ want you know, she thought, shaking her head to herself. Curls tumbled around her face and shoulders when she looked down at her lap, and then cleared her throat, trying to find the words.

"Because I…there _was_ no one else," she confessed, into the silence of the car.

She spoke quickly, so quickly that Castle had to re-run the words in his head to capture their meaning. His heart was hammering by the time his brain caught up.

The silence stretched out again, interrupted only by the ticking of the engine as it contracted and cooled.

"You mean…?" asked Castle, his voice tight with uncertainty. He wasn't touching her, though he badly wanted to. He just had to clarify this first, couldn't afford to get it wrong, misconstrue, if only he could find the words.

Kate decided to help him out, take a risk, do the hard work for a change. She shifted slightly in her seat and the soft leather creaked under her.

"What I mean is, if I couldn't go with you, then there _was _no one else," she said, looking straight at him until he tore his eyes up from examining the gear stick to meet hers.

"And if I'd asked you to go with me?" he said quietly, his eyes shining with a mixture of hope and regret.

"I don't know," said Kate honestly, slipping her bottom lip between her teeth.

Castle's face fell, and he dropped his gaze back down to his lap.

"Don't get me wrong," she said hastily, laying her hand on his arm, "I wanted to…_so much_. I even thought about asking you myself, but…"

"You did?" he asked in surprise, his head flying up so he could look at her.

Kate nodded her head. "Mmhmm. I just…" she trailed off, letting her hand fall back into her own lap.

Silence enveloped them again until Kate straightened her shoulders and pushed on through. She could do this, and Castle deserved better than half-truths and halting explanations.

"You know how things were back then. We were…_close,_ closer than we'd ever been, I think."

"But?"

"But, that was my _workplace_, Rick, and there was the guys, and Gates, and…it all sounds so stupid and cowardly when I say it out loud. Like just so many dumb excuses. Anyway, what about you?" she challenged, turning the tables on him. "You asked Alexis to go with you. Did you ever…?" she skimmed the knee of his jeans with her nail, "think about asking me?" she said shyly, letting the curtain of her hair fall partially over her face.

"Did I ever…?" he repeated breathlessly, as if she'd just socked him in the gut, incredulous at the question. "Kate, I would have _loved_ to have asked you," he confessed.

"So why didn't you?"

She sounded so disappointed. Her turn to put him under the microscope.

"Honestly?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

Kate nodded, waiting for the rest of his explanation.

"I didn't think I stood a chance," he said, letting his gaze fall back down to the console between them.

"We're a couple of idiots," said Kate at length, smiling at the peel of laughter her statement drew from her partner.

"Idiots who apparently dance very well together," said Castle, taking her hand, rubbing his thumb gently across her knuckles.

"So I've heard," said Kate, thinking back to Jerry's comments at Remy's that morning.

Castle laughed to himself and Kate nudged him with her knee.

"_What?_ Why are you laughing?" she asked, watching the sunshine gilding his features, so happy, silly and relaxed.

"_I Want to Know What Love Is_, Beckett?" he snorted, earning himself a punch in the shoulder from his partner.

"Get out of the car," she ordered, the fake annoyance on her face warring with an embarrassed grin.

"Hey, this is _my_ car," he reminded her, with a chuckle.

"You ever want to dance we me again, _Fred_, you'll get out of the damn car," she said, pushing open her door and then striding off towards her apartment building.

* * *

Castle crowded her in the small elevator, his hands wandering, and then he crowded her some more as she struggled with her apartment door key, earning himself a nudge in the ribs when he pushed his chest against her back and wrapped his arms around her, placing the flat of his hands on her abdomen to hold her against him, enjoying the glide of her skirt under his fingers.

"I can't get my key in the lock," she moaned, frowning as it got stuck halfway, jamming, "when you distract me like…Jeez, Rick," she gasped, as Castle rubbed something firm, and hard, and…"Is that what I think it is?" she hissed, while he tightened his grip on her stomach, welding them closer together, shimmying his hips up against her backside.

"Mmm," he mumbled into her neck, nudging her hair aside with his nose, "then maybe we should try putting _my_ key into _your_ lock," he purred into her ear, flicking at the soft lobe with his tongue and then drawing it between his lips to suck it wetly.

Kate sniggered, twisting out of his grasp.

"That is just about _the_ worst line I've ever heard in my life," she gasped, letting out a raucous peel of laughter.

Castle let her go, and she pulled her key back out, checking it to see if it was bent, before sliding it back in and managing to get it to turn with sheer brut force.

He swerved around her to head over to the grey sofa nestled against the far wall, and once there, he sat down a little gingerly, in deference to his rather _happy_ state. A pout marred his handsome face.

Kate watched him for a second from just inside the front door, her head tilted to one side, an indulgent look on her face. He looked good in her apartment, she thought idly, and then corrected the thought. Dammit the man looked good anywhere as far as she was concerned.

She had a small pile of mail in her hand, and she turned to drop it on the table beside the door.

"You…eh…rest up there for a second, while I get my stuff together," she called out, heading towards the bedroom with a smile on her face.

* * *

Kate hummed softly, as she went to her closet to fetch her swimwear. She pulled a tiny black string bikini with side-ties on the bottoms out of a drawer, already imagining the quick work Castle's fingers would make of removing them, and then she fished around for her deep purple, halter swimsuit with the cutaway hole around her belly button and the really low dip in the back. Yeah, he'd appreciate that one too, she thought, as her eyes flickered lower, attention grabbed by something, alighting on the small gun safe bolted to the floor of her closet.

She stared at the dark grey, metal casing, blinked twice, shook her head, and crouched down in front of it. The layer of dust on top had been disturbed, a set of slightly smudged, but clearly visible fingerprints interrupting the dull shine of the surface.

She stood up suddenly, much too fast, and blood rushed to her head. Bright flashes of white light sparked behind her eyes, and she felt dizzy all of a sudden, her heart pounded. She looked around the bedroom, scanning for changes, differences, anything, however small. She headed for her nightstand, the one next to the side she slept on. She opened the top drawer with the hem of her shirt and ice water ran through her veins.

Nothing was missing, but she knew, she just knew, that someone had been in there. Things had been moved around. It was subtle, and they'd been careful, whoever they were, but she was good at this, her memory sharp, her senses keen. She worked on shape, and form, visuals and appearances all of the time. Gaps in stories, breaks in patterns, anomalies in behavior, photographs, fingerprint patterns, blood spatter, missing links, if they were there, she would spot them, and the pattern the items in her drawer normally made when she glanced at them, the layout she was used to seeing…it was _off._

There was some jewelry, costume, nothing expensive, just a few bracelets and pendants, a couple of large cocktail rings, earrings she wore on girls nights out with Lanie, things Castle hadn't even seen yet, stuff she couldn't fit in her jewelry box, and they had all been moved around just that little bit. A box of condoms she'd had in there for god knows how long had tipped onto its side, spilling some of the contents across the base of the drawer. Three shiny foil rounds had skidded into view the second she'd yanked the drawer open, catching her eye.

Kate felt sick. Her heart was hammering and she felt sick, had to press a hand over her mouth to keep the burn from escaping the back of her throat while her mouth watered. Her apartment was now a crime scene and contaminating it with her own stomach contents was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Castle!" she yelled, a little weakly, bowed over, her hands pressed against her knees trying to breath through her nose.

"_Rick!_" she called out more insistently, rewarded by the skid of his feet across her wooden, living room floor.

"You rang?" came his bright, happy, teasing voice around the doorframe of her bedroom, and her heart squeezed in her chest.

It took him all of seconds to realized that she wasn't inviting him into her bedroom for a bootie call, and he was on her a fraction of a second later, strong hands and arms, pulling her up, molding her against him, shielding her with his body.

"Kate, my god, what's wrong?" he asked, soothing her with long strokes to her back. He looked down into the open drawer beside them for clues.

He caught sight of the condoms, and his confusion only grew more.

"Is it…" he choked, didn't really know how to word the question. "Are you late? Is that…please don't cry. We can deal with this. I know we haven't really talked about it yet but…"

Kate was as confused as Castle by now, but as she straightened up a little, and saw past him into the open drawer, suddenly the pieces fell into place.

"Rick, no," she groaned, pushing back out of his grasp to explain. "Someone's been in here. While I've been gone. Someone's been going through my things."

He looked stunned, as if she'd just slapped him, then he stood up straighter, still holding onto her by the elbows, his eyes scanning her bedroom frantically.

"How do you know? Is…are there things missing?" he asked.

"I don't know," said Kate, honestly. "I just know someone's been in here," she said, and for once Castle didn't argue with her, he didn't force her to explain how she knew, he just took her at her word and pulled her close, pressing his mouth to her hair, holding her until she stopped shaking and her heart rate evened out.

"My…my god, my mom's files," she choked out a handful of seconds later as her brain clicked into gear, hunting for reasons, doing the math.

She squirmed out of Castle's grasp, taking off at a run, yelling, "Don't touch anything," even as he trailed after her towards her office.

* * *

She pulled a couple of Ziploc sandwich bags out of a kitchen drawer and slid them onto her clammy hands, using them as makeshift gloves. The clear plastic steamed up instantly, the cool of the drawer interacting with the steamy warmth of her skin. Condensation bloomed across the surface where it came in contact with her sticky palms and fingertips.

In the office, she went straight for the louvered shutters – her murder board – already knowing deep in her heart what she would find there.

Blobs of Blu-Tack were scattered over the cream painted doors like stars in the night sky, marking out the spaces where photographs and index cards, newspaper clippings and crime scene reports had once been. One yellow Post-It note remained, the words "Find Them" printed neatly in large red letters, written in Kate's own hand, left hanging in the center of the space just to taunt her.

She rapidly turned her attention to her desk drawers, pulling them open, one-by-one, rushing headlong to look, and yet knowing all the while what she'd find there also.

She kicked the small, green trashcan beside her desk over in frustration, yelling out, "_Son of a Bitch!_" as it rolled away, spilling pencil shavings and a few scrunched up Kleenex tissues out onto the wooden floor.

"Kate," said Castle, coming up behind her, his voice tentative, hesitant, sounding so much like he had the night they'd stood on that very same spot, while he confessed his part in keeping her away from her mother's case.

"You…" he swallowed, gingerly taking hold of her elbow to hold her up and turn her to him, "You have to call this in. They're cleaning house, Kate. You have to tell Ryan," he said, thrusting his cell phone towards her, and then firmly pressing it into the palm of her hand.

_A/N: So, judging by the lack of reviews, you really seemed to hate the last chapter (thanks fbobs for the lovely message & violet'sdream, castlecrazie, nomoreifonlys and Soccerstud101 for reviewing). Sorry about that. And I know I promised the Old Haunt next, but turns out I'm a liar too – double sorry – this needed to happen first…Forgive me? ;) Liv_


	54. Chapter 54 Refuse To Be A Victim

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 54 – Refuse To Be A Victim_**

They huddled together on the sofa, taking care not to touch anything else, mentally cataloguing where they'd been since they'd entered the apartment not twenty minutes ago.

Ryan was on his way over with a team from CSU close behind. Gates had agreed to put a priority on it – _one of their own_, she'd told the shift leader, working her way to the head of the line. In a job with as few perks as theirs, unless you found yourself a victim of crime and who wanted that, Kate would take what little help was on offer. She was just praying 'priority' didn't mean their Captain showing up at her apartment too. The less time she spent around the woman the better, and with Castle here…

She shook her head, and felt Castle's fingers tighten on her waist as he tipped her over against his side. Kate let her head fall onto his shoulder, grateful for the comfort he gave her, but hating the fact that she needed it at all.

"I should go in there," she said, gesturing towards the bedroom. "Grab a few things before they…"

She trailed off, closing her eyes, fighting back an angry sob at the thought of a stranger, or Cole Maddox, whoever, rooting through every little crack and crevice of her life. And now another group of strangers, crime scene technicians, with their bad jokes and their messy fingerprint powder, would invade her apartment, marking dirty tracks everywhere, as they chased down this…this _creature_, hunting for clues.

Castle's capacity for reading her mind always amazed her, and today was no different.

"We'll get someone in to clean up," he whispered, standing with her, his lips brushing her temple. "One of the professional crews, Kate. A good one. Your housekeeping leaves a lot to be desired anyway," he joked, drawing a strangled noise from her throat, half laugh, half sob, as he led her back into the bedroom.

"What do you need?" he asked, his eyes falling to the discarded swimwear on the bed.

"I…" she hesitated, looking around. "These, I guess, and maybe some more underwear, my black dress pants, and a couple more shirts."

Castle fetched a small leather holdall from the closet, ignoring her look of uncertainty.

"Whatever they touched, there's got to be enough to fingerprint around here that they're not gonna miss this," he said, quashing her objection.

He helped her fold her clothes and pack them into the bag. They worked together in silence, a good team. He made no comments about her underwear, ignored the silk chemise she grabbed on a whim and stuffed into the bag, and went out to open the door for her colleagues when the buzzer sounded, leaving her to make a last sweep of her bedroom, before making her way into the living room and placing the bag close to the front door, more than ready to leave. Then she went to the bathroom to wash her hands.

* * *

"Hey," said Ryan quietly, scanning the living room for Kate.

"She's in the bathroom," said Castle, tilting his head in that direction.

"How's she doing?" asked Ryan, sounding breathless and jumpy, feeling the weight of this pressing on him without the support of his own partner to back him up.

"She's…she hates this," he said, matter-of-factly, "needing help, the intrusion, the damned invasion of her privacy in the first place."

"Yeah, figures," said Ryan, starting to look around the room for a place to start. "Who wouldn't? And she's sure this isn't just some random, weird burglary thing?" he asked, already shaking his own head in time with Castle's.

"No. No doubt. The only things they took relate to her mom's case. She…uh…she had this…" Castle swiped at his mouth, lips dry, swallowing thickly. "She had a kind of murder board, in the office, over by the window. All of the information that was pinned up there – photos, crime scene reports, stuff like that – it's all been removed, and files have been taken from her desk drawers too."

"Right," nodded Ryan, trying desperately not to judge or comment. "You knew about this?" he asked, watching Castle's face, wondering if his boss had been doing this alone and for how long.

"Yeah," he nodded gravely. "Yeah…I…she showed me over a year ago, before she got shot. Set it up the summer I went to the _fucking Hamptons_ with Gina," he spat, scrubbing his hand harshly over his face. "Stupid, stupid," he cursed, walking in a tight circle, running his hands through his hair.

Ryan said nothing, and it only made matters worse. Castle's guilt at his own needy stupidity, his inability to wait for what he'd known he really wanted burned and twisted in his gut. He'd left her alone here because _what?_ He couldn't bear to be by himself for one stinking summer?

"You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing, Richard Castle."

Kate's voice rang out cool and clear across the room.

Castle and Ryan both whipped round to look at her. She stood with her arms crossed, one eyebrow arched as she eyed her partner, her lover, her best friend.

"This is _not_ your fault," she said, walking over to him.

She pressed her fingers to his forearm and squeezed briefly, then let go, dropping her hand back to her side.

The gesture was fleeting, but profound, and then she was back to her professional best.

"Ryan, I think you should start in the office," she said, leading him through her apartment towards the makeshift murder board, leaving Castle standing alone by the kitchen island.

* * *

He was still pacing the living room floor when there was a tap at the front door.

"I've got it," he called out, walking stiffly towards the hallway.

He opened the door expecting the navy jump-suited forms of a couple of CSU techs, hands loaded with bulky aluminum carry cases. Instead, what he got was the steady, steely gaze of Captain Victoria Gates staring back at him, _coldly_.

"Sir," he said, taking an involuntary step backwards, as if she was Kryptonite and he was Superman.

Oh, how he wished he _were_ Superman right now. The things he would do…

"Mr. Castle?"

Gates' barked greeting, half question-half command, snapped him out of his daydream.

"Uh…yes. Sorry, please, come in?" he offered hesitantly, wondering if that's what Kate would even want – her boss prowling around her apartment on top of everything else.

Too late now.

Gates was over the threshold and looking expectantly at him before he even had time to close the front door.

"_Well?_" she said archly, arms folded across her chest, foot tapping impatiently.

"Right. Right. I'll just…I'll go get Beckett," muttered Castle, taking off at a jog across Kate's small apartment to find her before Gates dismembered him with a simple glance.

"What's wrong?" asked Kate, brushing her hand down his back in vague concern. "CSU getting set up next door?"

"That…eh…Kate…that wasn't CSU." He shook his head, and she gave him a quizzical look. "That was…eh…"

"Castle, what the hell?" she huffed in frustration, not up for any more surprises today.

She brushed past him and headed round the corner into the living room to see for herself.

The reason for his halting, bumbling explanation became all too clear, all too quickly.

"Beckett," said Gates, her voice getting about as warm as it ever got where her people were concerned.

"Sir?" said Kate, tugging on the front of her white shirt, and then running a hand self-consciously through her hair.

She frowned, eyes shifting across the floor, the dust bunnies under her furniture and the discarded Ziploc bags on the counter suddenly catching her eye. She huffed out a breath, as if her boss had really come here to get a tour of her apartment and check up on her cleaning skills.

"I appreciate the quick response, Sir," said Kate finally, feeling the air leave her lungs when there was a loud rap at the door and she had an excuse to go…over there.

* * *

The cavalry had finally arrived in the form of Jim Fienberg and Eric McNulty. The two men filled the entirety of Kate's hall once they were inside, equipment and large bodies crowding her simple, elegant space.

The men dropped their cases on the wooden floor and Kate cringed. They opened up a black nylon bag, pulling out two sets of white papery coveralls, the fabric rustling as they each stepped into a suit and zippered them up. Jim grabbed them both a pair of blue nitrile gloves, and then they followed Kate through her apartment for a briefing.

Gates walked behind them, her eyes scanning this way and that, taking in everything with both a professional and a personal eye – the arresting art, the many, varied books, the Union Jack throw pillow on the sofa, the iconic Eames chair, Kate's quirky, individual kitchen, the exposed brick walls, everything painted a retro putty color giving the apartment a restful, cocoon-like quality and a true warmth to the light, airy space. She studied it all, learning more about her best detective in those few short minutes than she had since she'd arrived at the Twelfth over a year ago.

* * *

"This is where I think you should start, guys," Kate was saying. "Dust for fingerprints, look for trace – hair, fibers, toenail clippings, I don't care. Just…find something," she said, clenching her teeth in frustration, the muscles in her jaw working hard underneath her taut skin.

"What was here?" asked Gates, pointing to the window space, her voice arcing over the top of the group from where she stood at the back of the little gathering.

Everyone turned towards the commanding sound and the group parted for her.

"A…"

Kate hesitated. The words _murder board_ refused to leave her lips.

"My mom's case – reports, pictures, newspaper clippings," she said instead.

Gates nodded, silently.

"And they took them all?"

"Yes. Plus some files I had in my desk drawer," Kate added, closing her eyes, hoping Gates wouldn't ask where she'd copied the files from.

"Castle, why don't you show Eric the bedroom," said Kate, deflecting attention elsewhere.

Castle froze, thought for a moment that she'd lost her mind or he'd entered the twilight zone. But no, she was taking his elbow, angling him in that direction, asking him to do just that…_in front of her boss_.

"Show him the gun safe in my closet, the nightstand drawer," she added, giving him a soft shove to get his feet moving.

If this had been under any other circumstance he'd have kissed her and then fist-pumped the air. But with Gates eyeing him the way she was, he deemed that reaction somewhat inappropriate. So he jerked his head for Eric McNulty to follow him, squashing down his pride and excitement, trying for gruff and manly instead, and left the other four to it in the office.

* * *

Kate came and joined him a short time later.

Eric was bagging one of the wrapped condoms from the nightstand drawer, and Castle watched her watching him, the shame and fury that flashed across her face at the indignity of it all. The man silently, dispassionately dropped the small foil package into a clear plastic, grip sealed, evidence bag, wrote the content details and collection specifics – date, time, location - on the outside with an indelible marker, before signing and sealing it.

"I'd…have you finished with the safe?" she asked Eric, looking down at the bulky, metal box in her closet.

The visible prints Kate had spotted in the dusty layer on top of the metal casing had already been lifted with tape. Eric had found several other latent prints, and enhanced them with the white powder he'd dusted over the dark surface to make them stand out before photographing them.

"Sure. What do you need?" he asked, kneeling down beside her.

"I…" Kate glanced up at Castle, and then back at the safe. "My weapon. My back-up piece is in there. I just need to…eh…"

Eric nodded silently.

"Try not to touch the lock. Here's a spare glove," he said, handing Kate the blue latex. "Just, open it with the key and then close it carefully when you're done," he added, turning away to give her privacy.

He went back to examining the front of her creamy white nightstand, while Kate carefully withdrew her Glock 26 and a carton of Winchester White Box FMJ 9mm ammunition from inside the safe.

Castle watched her, warring with himself the whole time. Guns and Kate he knew went together, sure. There was a time when he'd even thought it was hot; this beautiful, fiercely independent woman with a weapon in her hands – every guy's fantasy. And he'd seen her handle her service piece plenty of times, at the Precinct, at the range, in her Crown Vic, out on the street in the middle of a bust or serving a warrant. But rarely in her home, and never in her bedroom, and it seemed so wrong, made him ache for all of this to be over so that they could really move on with their lives. Instead of looking over their shoulders and pulling up short in the middle of a happy, sunny day to deal with…_this_.

* * *

Once Eric heard the door to the safe click shut, he stopped dusting black powder across the light drawer frontage in his quest for more prints, and turned to address Kate.

"I was just saying to your husband, that I noticed some fresh scratches, possible tool marks, on the lock outside your front door. Could you maybe come take a look with me, ma'am, tell me if you've noticed them before?" said Eric politely, doing his best to break bad news lightly.

Kate and Castle's gaze collided, and then flew apart again. Her husband. Yeah, correcting _that_ mistake was the least of her worries right now.

She was conscious of being worked by the older of the two CSU techs, handled. He was obviously so used to managing people, seeing the trauma in a victim's eyes…

Is that what she was now, _a victim_?

Kate shook her head, clearing the thought away. She needed to think like a cop, remind this guy that's what she was, not some traumatized housewife who'd had her damn wedding ring stolen and her panty drawer rifled.

"Yes, of course. Lead the way," she said, casting a glance over her shoulder at Castle before following the tech.

Castle trailed after them, no place else to be.

Jim Fienberg had strung Crime Scene tape across her front door, Kate discovered, when she opened it inwards and the yellow plastic ribbon fluttered at chest height across the threshold, black letters dancing like party bunting.

She turned away, examined the metal lock with Eric, squinting up close, and tried not to let a victim mentality settle on her and infect her thinking.

The lock looked as if it had been picked – _professionally_. The scratches were microscopic, but explained the difficulty Kate had had with her key that morning. Under the magnifier, Eric could see that the tumblers were slightly out of alignment within the barrel, most likely the after effects of a bump key. He promised to swab for trace, like lube, and print the door, before heading back towards the bedroom to finish up in there first.

* * *

"Hey."

The low rumble of Castle's voice close to her ear sent a pleasant shiver down Kate's spine.

"Hey," she said, turning round and leaning into him, needing to get close, feel him invade her space, her pores, the air she breathed.

"You doing okay?" he asked, rubbing her back while she rested her right side against his chest.

Kate was angled towards the three tall windows behind her sofa, and her eyes drifted across the space, alighting on the large, unframed, pop art painting by Alex Gross, '_Matasaburo of the Wind_', that hung on the wall to the right. Her eyes flicked back and forth. The canvas was crooked, skewed off the perpendicular line created by the raised brick wall behind it.

"Rick, the painting," said Kate, patting his chest as she rose up off of him to move closer to it.

Castle followed her across the room.

"I can see that it's not hanging straight," said Castle, "but are you sure…"

Kate silenced him with a glance.

"I live alone, this is _the_ biggest piece of art _in_ here, you think I wouldn't have noticed if it was crooked?" she asked, giving him _that _look.

Castle wanted to say, '_you don't live alone anymore'_, but he realized that now might not be the time, and saying it would probably be more counterproductive than anything. She was so stubborn it might even drive her back here just to prove a point.

"Tell Eric or Jim then," he said instead. "Maybe whoever searched the place was looking to see if you were hiding something behind it," he suggested.

Kate nodded thoughtfully.

"You didn't? Hide anything, I mean?" he asked, a flash of excitement in his eyes, "because that would have been…"

"_Stupid_," said Kate, cutting him off, "considering I have a safe."

"Right," nodded Castle, suitably chastened.

"Just ruined another one of your theories with my logic, didn't I?" she asked, fondness and humor frolicking across her features as she looked up at him, her ridiculous man-child, her eyes sparkling.

"Might have," he admitted, wrapping an arm around her back and pulling her to his chest. "Make it up to me later," he whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

* * *

The sound of a throat being cleared, _loudly_, startled them both, and they let go of one another, moving apart guiltily. And since when had that been an acceptable reaction in her own home, thought Kate, turning to see Captain Gates staring at them, Ryan hovering apologetically by her side.

"I think we've got all we're going to get here today," she said, lips pursed in displeasure. "CSU will finish up, and Ryan is going to canvas your neighbors, see if anyone saw or heard anything by some miracle. My apologies for the mess, Beckett," she said, not sounding sorry at all, and then she was striding towards the door, re-buttoning the jacket of her black skirt suit.

Kate's mouth was hanging open, and Castle had to nudge her to bring her round.

"Sir?" she called, not even sure at this point what it was she wanted to ask.

"Get a good night's rest, Beckett. Come and see me at the Precinct tomorrow morning, ten sharp. You too Mr. Castle," she threw over her shoulder, before ducking under the crime scene tape without a backwards glance.

They looked at one another, wondering what the hell had just happened, and then they turned in perfect sync to look at Ryan. The Irish detective just shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, scuffing a toe against the wooden floor. Hopeless liar that he was, his eyes skidded to the right and then down to study his shoes, completely giving him away.

"Come on, dude. She must have said something," whined Castle. "Why does she want to see us?"

"Yeah, _both_ of us," added Kate, looking at her partner, her brow wrinkling in worry and confusion.

"Well, she can't kick us out since we're already…_out_," pointed out Castle.

"There is that," said Kate, before rounding on Ryan.

"Do you want Jenny to hear about the time you made Javi wear you wedding ring because you wanted to see if strippers would still flirt with you?" she asked, and Ryan's eyes grew wide as saucers. "Because that can be arranged, Kevin. _Tonight!_" threatened Kate.

"She…she…" he stuttered, huffing out an uncomfortable breath. They were forcing him to be a snitch, and look where _that_ had got him the last time he told.

"Yes?" hissed Kate, her hands on her hips, leaning towards him, kinda scary, definitely threatening.

"She wants you to brief her on your mom's case. She thinks you know more than she does, and…"

"_And?_" prompted Kate.

"And I think she's considering asking you to come back," he said on a long exhale, giving it all up and feeling like such a little prison yard bitch.

Castle slapped Ryan on the back, harder than intended and he lurched forward comically.

"See, it wasn't that hard, buddy," said Castle jovially. "Wait. She wants _who_ back?" he asked, as Ryan's words sank in.

Ryan recovered enough to get a in little revenge.

"Who'd you think?" he asked, sending an exaggerated nod in Kate's direction.

Kate smirked, seeing the humor dancing in Ryan's pale blue eyes, and then she escorted him to the door.

"We still on for the Old Haunt tonight?" asked Ryan, "'Cause everyone would totally understand if…"

"Hey," said Kate, catching his arm. "We'll be there. Seven sharp. I'm not going to let this ruin my life anymore, Kevin," said Kate fiercely. "Let me know if the canvas gives you anything. Mrs. Schumacher in 4B swears she hears everything," she said, giving him a little wave as he headed off down the hall. "And good luck."

_A/N: Feeling the love today, guys. Thank you so much for all your reviews! I know this didn't start out as a case, but there's no way I could have kept it going until Sept 24__th__ without addressing the big issues, short of sending them on vacation or to the grocery store, and I think other fic writers already got that angle covered. I'll try to keep this as balanced as possible between fluff and casework so everyone stays amused and entertained. Have a great weekend. Liv_


	55. Chapter 55 Guns 'N Roses

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 55 – Guns 'n Roses_**

"I need to make a stop on the way home," said Kate, as they walked out of her building, carrying her black holdall towards Castle's car.

"Care to give me a clue?" asked Castle, unlocking the doors and stowing the bag in the trunk, before getting in the driver's side.

"Grand Street, between Baxter and Mulberry," said Kate, sliding in the opposite side from him, her lip tugged between her teeth, still as quiet as she'd been since Gates had left, after summoning them to the Twelfth tomorrow morning.

Castle started the engine but didn't pull away from the curb, just let it idle while Kate stared out the passenger side window, one hand raked through her hair, holding it back off her face.

She finally broke the silence.

"I'm out of ammunition," she said, still not looking at him.

"But…the box I saw you take out of the safe?"

"Practice rounds. WWB. Fine for punching paper at the range, but not for…"

She trailed off, hating the thought of even bringing this up with him, let alone to Castle's front door and right into the heart of his family home.

"Kate," sighed Castle, cutting the engine. "No secrets," he gently reminded, the shine of her referring to his loft as _home_ tarnished just a little bit by having to address the issue of their personal safety. "What do you need?"

"Just…some 9mm rounds. There's a couple brands I would prefer," she said, removing her gun from its carry case and turning it over in her hands.

"Such as?" asked Castle, staring down at the oddly nicknamed, he thought, '_Baby Glock'_.

"You really want me to…?"

Castle shook his head, realizing that he really didn't need to hear the detail she was having to consider – which rounds went through what more efficiently – skin, bone, clothing, Kevlar.

"I'm not even gonna ask why," said Castle, as Kate turned to face him. "But this place on Grand Street, they'll have what you need?"

"Yes. Speer are NYPD issue, 124-grain, nothing special, but effective if we ever need to…"

Need to, _god_, need to _what?_ _Kill_ somebody? In his home? With his daughter sleeping upstairs?

Castle was spiraling, the implications of what they'd had to deal with today coming home to roost. Someone had been inside Kate's apartment, and only luck and his daughter's interference _actually_ had kept Kate in his bed and by his side…well, maybe something stronger than luck, something else that began with _L_, he hoped. But what if she'd been at _her home_ instead of with him? And had they expected to find her there? Clean-up all of this mess that was not her fault, but kept tangling her up in its nasty, evil web regardless?

He needed to breathe and calm down before she saw what this was doing to him. Before she tried to step away, believing it to be for the best.

"Kate. Please? _Stop_," he said, silencing her with a hand to her arm. "I understand why, love. But I don't want to hear it, or think about it, or ever have the need for you to use it. So I will drive you there, and I'll even come in with you, if that's what you want. But then we put the gun in the safe at home, and we don't talk about it anymore. Understand?"

"Rick, this is just a tool," said Kate trying to soothe him, turning it over again in her hands to show him. "It's a hunk of plastic Polymer. And it has no magical powers. Javi taught me that. The day he forced me to handle the rifle that shot me, he made me see that that's all this is - _a tool_. And if I can protect us, and protect your family from whatever it is that's out there, trying to mess with our lives, then I'm going to make damn sure I'm properly prepared to do that. Okay?"

"I wish you didn't have to."

"Me too. But wishing won't make it so. Having two clips loaded with the best ammunition is what's gonna help, and it'll make me feel a damn sight better about things until we can be sure this is over."

* * *

Kate felt too conspicuous, pulling up to _Geronimo's Guns and Ammo_ on Grand Street in a bright red Ferrari with her famous boyfriend by her side. Anyone with a cellphone camera and a mind to could sell this one to Page Six for a pretty penny. So she asked him to park around the corner in Baxter Street, and then tossed Castle a Yankees cap from the holdall in the trunk for him to wear.

"This'll ruin my hair," he complained, turning the navy baseball cap in his hands.

"We're going into a gun shop, Rick. Stop behaving like a little girl, or you can stay in the car," said Kate, walking towards the dark green storefront and leaving him behind.

The outline of a large revolver hung down below the store's sign, advertising the trade within. Kate pressed the buzzer to gain access, and a wrinkled, weather-beaten face appeared behind the grill on the door to let them in.

"Can I help you folks with something?" asked Chuck, the owner it turned out, as Castle scanned the glass cases full of handguns, his eyes a little wider than normal, something of the 'kid in a candy store about him'.

Chuck eyed the writer for a minute, the man's grizzled face a map of contours and crags, picked out in the greenish glow of the store's florescent strip lighting, lending him a distinctly unhealthy air. He wore a red and white plaid shirt, battered jeans that had seen long service, and a pair of heavy-duty leather boots with the fronts scuffed through to the protective steel toecaps.

There was a tattoo on his weathered neck; a Confederate Flag, Kate realized, though the detail was rather distorted by the creases and wrinkles of his tan skin.

She looked over her shoulder, checked up on her partner for a brief second as if he were a mischievous child she had to keep an eye on. Castle's fingers trailed across the front of a glass case, the tips steaming up the surface, leaving fleeting impressions behind as he studied the hardwear beneath, that same green glow illuminating his face like a ghost. Then she made her way straight to the register.

Chuck joined her on the other side of the counter, and she looked down at his hands. One set of scarred knuckles bore the letters for the word _Smith_, while the other spelt out _Wesson_ in the dark blue ink of a homemade tattoo. Yeah, there was no doubting the business this guy was in.

"I need four boxes of Speer Gold Dot. 9mm, 124 grain hollow point," said Kate, all business. "You've got those in stock I take it?"

She wanted in and out, _fast_. No small talk, no unnecessary questions, just bag, pay and leave.

"Sure do. You law enforcement?" he asked, eyeing Kate doubtfully - the skirt, the white shirt, the black ballet flats, chestnut curls tumbling in soft, feminine waves across her shoulders. Too classy to be a cop, he thought, and too darn pretty. But there was just something commanding about her, a no nonsense quality that had him believing otherwise.

"Here's my I.D.," she said, ignoring the question, handing the man her driver's license and Pistol Permit. Adding, "Off-duty," by way of explanation for not presenting her badge when he waited for an answer with one straggly, wildly over-grown eyebrow raised.

The man unlocked the cabinet under the glass-topped counter and slid out a wooden drawer, withdrawing four black boxes of twenty rounds, and placed them on the counter in front of her.

"Anything else I can help you with today? Powder solvent or lube, cleaning patches?"

"No. That'll be all," said Kate, reaching for her wallet as Castle joined her at her side.

"That'll be $96.10 please. You be needing a bag for that?"

Castle tried to slide his credit card across the counter to the man, but Kate batted his hand away gently, handing the man five twenty dollar bills instead.

"Here. I have cash," said Castle, hurrying to pull a couple of fifties from his wallet and trying to press them into her hand.

"Rick, I've got this. Please?" she said firmly, pushing the money back at him.

The last thing they needed was a stupid lovers quarrel over money in front of this guy or a credit card paper trail. She wished Castle would pick up on her need to do this as quickly and quietly as possible, without her having to spell it out for him, so they could just blend back onto the street and be instantly forgotten.

A flicker of recognition seemed to flit across the man's eyes when he handed over her change, and Kate braced herself for '_Aren't you that crime writer guy, the one who follows the hot detective around?_' But the light in the man's eyes dimmed again, and they managed to escape without being recognized.

* * *

"Well, that was a first for me," said Castle jovially, once they were safely back inside the car, his mood obviously improved by, _what_, ogling handguns?

Kate looked quizzical.

"Shopping for ammo with my girlfriend. Got to be worth a scene for Nikki and Rook, don't you think?" he suggested, trying to ease some of the earlier tension he felt mostly responsible for.

"And I'm sure you'll have Nikki wear some ridiculously sexy thigh holster over tight leather pants and a pair of spike-heeled, knee length, black boots in your version."

"I'm liking your art direction, Beckett," said Castle approvingly. "We may have to discuss this in more detail later. Maybe role-play it a little, you know. Workshop it for authenticity sake. But right now, is there anything else you need? Anywhere else you'd like to stop? Like a florist maybe or the drug store?" asked Castle hopefully, as he fired up the Ferrari.

Because his girl had a gun, and that was a fact, but she was still his girl, and a little something frivolous in their lives – like a bunch of flowers for example - wouldn't hurt now and again.

"No," Kate shook her head gently. "Let's just go home, Castle."

_A/N: This chapter was for fbobs, because he asked so nicely and he's a fountain of knowledge on all things gun related. Fitch, I hope I did you proud. Next chapter's for the fluffy bunnies among you, and it's almost ready to post too. ;) Only four more Mondays guys! Liv_


	56. Chapter 56 Atlas Shrugged

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 56 – Atlas Shrugged_**

The steam in the bathroom was cleansing as it swirled around them like a fragrant fog, caressing their damp skin and easing away the stress of the day before rising up towards the ceiling in a haze of wispy, opaque curls.

"These heated mirrors are impressive," commented Kate, enjoying the ability to apply her make-up, even with the humidity from their overly long, overly (ahem) _busy_, shared shower still filling the room.

"_Oh_, yessss," nodded Castle, pleased as punch, as he dipped his razor back under the faucet to rinse it off in the stinging hot water.

The lower half of his face was covered in an aromatic, light blue foam; extra sensitive shaving gel that he ordered online from some fancy French website.

Kate bumped her hip playfully against his.

"Got any other beauty secrets you'd care to share?" she teased, watching him ogle her shamelessly as she leant towards the mirror once more with her lip liner poised in her hand.

Her breasts hung down when she bent forward, soft, rounded and full, her hips and stomach pressed to the edge of the vanity, and she could swear she heard Castle swallow, even over the sound of running water, his eyes trained on her body relentlessly.

"You…uh…" he stared at her, the razor now forgotten, still dripping in his hand.

"Yes?" she asked innocently, feeling like a powerful vixen as she teased him mercilessly.

"Sorry, it's gone," he said honestly, shaking his head. "You got me, Kate. Naked like that…no chance," he laughed, depositing a blob of blue foam on the end of her nose in revenge.

"Hey," she laughed, scooping it off with the tip of her finger.

When she turned to look at Castle, for somewhere to wipe the foam, she noticed that the fine hair on the back of his neck had grown back in, and so she deposited it there.

"What are you…?" he laughed, flinching away from her.

"Your neck needs shaved," she explained, wrapping her fingers round his bicep to bring him closer. "Here, let me?" she said, holding out her hand for the razor.

"My barber usually takes care of it. But things have been a little…_crazy_ lately. Are you sure?" he asked, watching Kate pick up the can of shaving gel and shake it.

"Course. Don't worry, I won't cut you, if that's what you're thinking," she said, sliding one hand across his shoulder, soaking in the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips as she turned him to face away from to her.

"No. No, it's not that," he said, sounding hesitant and just a little reluctant as she gently massaged a soft peak of foam into the tan skin all the way around the back of his neck.

"Then what?" asked Kate, puzzled by his reticence.

"I just…no one has ever offered to do that for me before," he answered truthfully.

"Why not?"

Kate frowned, stilling the light movement of her fingers through the silky lather to listen to him.

"I dunno…" he shrugged a little uncomfortably, embarrassed perhaps. "I suppose no one ever cared enough before," he replied, with heart-breaking candor.

Not for the first time Kate wanted to round up Castle's two ex-wives and lock them in a room together, with no mirrors, no make-up, and only one hairdryer between them, see how they liked that for a week or two. Let the selfish harpies fight it out amongst themselves.

"Well, that's just wrong," said Kate, planting a soft kiss between his shoulder blades, and then taking the razor from his hand, she began to carefully shave his neck.

* * *

She used her fingertips to press against the swell of his skull, just behind his ear, to tilt his head gently to the side, stretching the skin taut and angling him just so as she worked her way around. The fingers of her free hand settled low on his waist, slid down round his hip, holding him still, and Castle groaned, straining against her touch, slightly embarrassed by his body's obvious response to this simple, intimate task she was performing for him.

Kate kissed his shoulder, silently telling him it was okay. Her eyes met his in the mirror, flicked lower and then back up to his face. The sight of him so excited left her cheeks flushed with pleasure, her lips suddenly in need of moisture that she quickly supplied with a sweep of her tongue, drawing another groan from Castle and a throaty laugh from Kate.

When her nails grazed the sensitive skin of his scalp, he let out a long, slow breath through his nose, accompanied by the barest of allover shivers.

"Oh god, I could get used to this. Mm-hmm," he hummed, his eyes drifting closed as Kate's naked breasts brushed up against the warm, smooth skin of his back when she leant past him to rinse the blade off one more time.

"Not the only one," countered Kate, molding herself to him once she finished, their bodies pressed together, both needing to soak in this moment, holding the world at bay just a little longer.

Kate rocked them back and forth, gently, one arm draped across his chest, her front to his back, her lips on his shoulder as she watched them in the mirror until she had to force herself to let go.

* * *

She wiped the remaining foam from his now smooth, clean skin with a towel, patted it dry, and then handed it to him with a flourish.

"All done? Am I good to go?" he asked, clearing his throat. Keeping hidden the tight swell of emotion filling his chest at how grateful he felt to have her.

"Just one last thing," said Kate, digging around in her cosmetics purse.

Castle looked a little worried now.

"You're not going to pluck my eyebrows, Beckett, because I might be a metrosexual, but even _I_ draw a line?"

Kate laughed.

"Your nails," she said, taking his right hand and lifting it up for inspection.

"They need cut, I know. But how did you…?" he asked, sliding his eyes up from their joined hands to her face.

Oh, he would never tire of that beautiful, expressive face.

"Because you have this thing that you do when they're getting too long, and…"

Kate stopped talking when Castle stared at her, amazed, and the silence between them grew heavy.

"…_and_ you're not the only one who observes things, Castle," she said, surprising him with her honesty.

"What thing?" he asked, pleased at the interest she was showing in his wellbeing, beyond delighted by the attention and her admission that _she_ watched _him_ too.

"You clench your hands into fists until your nails dig into your palms and then I see you looking at them, inspecting the length as if they're annoying you."

"They are," he admitted.

"Well then," said Kate, uncurling his fingers from around her own, "hold them out."

"Wait," he said, pulling back a little.

"What? You don't trust me all of a sudden?" she laughed, a wonderful tinkling sound that bounced off the tiled walls.

"No. _No!_" he shook his head like she was a crazy person. Of course he trusted her. "Alexis normally does this for me," he explained.

"Oh, like a father-daughter ritual. I'm sorry. I didn't know," said Kate, now the one doing the pulling away.

"Kate," he said softly, watching her with a smile, "No, she'll be thrilled. I used to have to press-gang her into it. She hated doing it. And…" his voice dropped low and rich, rumbling in her ear and raising goose bumps along her skin, "...after everything you've been through today, that you would even notice, or…or care. I'm…it means a lot," he confessed, leaning down to kiss her, his mouth moving slowly, tenderly, and oh so thoroughly over her lips, showing her just how much her care had touched him.

When they finally came back down to earth and pulled themselves together, Kate quickly, deftly, went about trimming his nails with her clippers, while Castle used his free hand to…_yeah_, basically grope her.

"This'll go a lot faster if you keep both hands where I can see them," she sighed, as if talking to a perp, looking in the mirror as she spoke to him, just shaking her head at the impish grin he gave her in reply.

"But what would be the fun in that?" he asked, pressing a noisy, wet kiss to her shoulder.

"It might save you from losing the tip of a finger," observed Kate dryly.

"_Now_ she tells me," he sighed, and then he rolled his eyes like the true drama queen he was.

"Too late. You're all done," said Kate, tidying the clippers away, and then patting him playfully on the butt.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, kissing her lightly on the lips, letting his fingers trip across her stomach to squeeze her hip before he released her, and she moved back into her own space at the vanity to finish putting on her make-up.

* * *

"What are you wearing?" called Kate, five minutes later, from inside Castle's closet.

The writer was lying on the bed, stretched out, stark naked, his hands pillowed behind his head, trying to take a little nap before they had to leave to meet the guys at The Old Haunt.

"What am I…?" he mumbled, cracking open one eye at the question.

Kate popped her head out of the closet.

"Yeah. So we don't match," she explained a little breathlessly.

"Why are you out of breath?" he asked, definitely awake now, propping himself up against the headboard to watch her.

"I was stretching up for a pair of shoes. The ones _you_ put on a really high shelf," she explained, crossing her arms over her chest, dressed in just her black lace underwear. "So, like I said, what are you wearing, Castle?"

"Clothes, Kate. It's customary, to avoid arrest in this uptight city of ours. _You?_"

"I'm thinking jeans and my purple silk shirt."

"Not a skirt?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Heels then?" he asked hopefully.

"For you…yeah, I thought these," she said, holding up the sexy pair of spike-heeled, black platform stilettos she'd just managed to wrestle down off the top shelf, without miraculously cracking a rib in the process.

"Nice," he grinned, nodding his approval. "Well, our shoes definitely won't clash…or match for that matter," he reassured her with a wink.

* * *

"Rick, if we're late and you've been napping in there," Kate called out, tapping her foot impatiently as she stood by the kitchen island reading the New York Times, her jeans too tight to sit down in at this point in the evening.

Castle's voice right next to her ear made her jump, and her heart flew into her throat.

"What are you…?" she squeaked, as his hands skimmed past her ears to lift something over her head.

He fastened the clasp at the back of her neck and then eased her hair out from underneath a fine silver chain.

Kate felt the weight of a pendant slide down the silk of her loose, flowing shirt, skid across the fabric, and then settle to nestle between her breasts.

"Castle, what did you _do_?" she gasped, her fingers reaching up to touch the cool, curved outline of the silver pendant.

"Happy one week anniversary, Kate," he whispered in her ear, kissing her lightly on the cheek to avoid smudging the spectacular job she'd done with her red lipstick.

"When…?" she asked weakly, holding the circular, silver pendant up so she could look at it.

When on earth had he managed to organize this in amongst all the madness of the last week?

Castle's voice drew her back to the present, and the cool weight of the piece of jewelry nestling in her palm.

"It's called Atlas," he explained. "Inspired by the gilded clock that hangs above the main entrance to the Tiffany store on Fifth Avenue," he added, pointing out the Roman numerals placed at twelve, three, six and nine between the inner and outer rings of the pendant, arranged exactly like the face of a clock.

"It's beautiful," breathed Kate. "But you shouldn't have," she said, turning in his arms to kiss him, this miraculous gift of a man.

"But I wanted to. And it's symbolic, Kate. Of time, of waiting for you, of our life together…past, present _and_ future."

"You're such a romantic," said Kate, clutching at his shirt to hold him close, though she was pretty sure he was going nowhere right now.

"I'm such a _hopeless_ romantic, you mean," he grinned, playfully nudging her nose with his own as she grinned at him.

"I love you," said Kate all of a sudden, her voice trembling with emotion. She bit her lip at the rush of admission, a frown knitting her brow at how fiercely she felt for him in that moment; the strength of her feelings surprising even to her as her heart hammered in her chest.

Her cheeks took on a faint blush with the unexpected rush of blood to her head, and her pupils dilated, turning her irises into molten pools of dark chocolate.

"Feeling's mutual, Kate. Never doubt it," murmured Castle, brushing his lips against hers, so very lightly, making her ache, the pressure barely there at all. The excruciating stroke of soft skin over even softer skin, like a whispered promise, making her shiver, before he kissed her soundly, fingers sliding through her hair while he drank her in until they were finally forced apart, flushed, shaking, and breathless.

"We're going to be late if we don't…" said Kate weakly, resting her forehead against his, breathing the same air, eyes locked, fingers tangling together at their sides.

"To be continued?" suggested Castle hopefully, watching her watching him, the moment fizzing with the electricity that arced between them.

"Always," nodded Kate, taking his hand and leading him towards the front door, a glint of silver gilding the purple silk that flowed around her.

_A/N: Ah Caskett. You just can't beat them. Hope you enjoyed this brief interlude from casework and the like. The neck-shaving scene's been haunting me for a while, the intimacy of it, a way for her to show how deeply she cares for him, as a counterpoint to his previous relationships. I hope it worked._

_And OMG The PROMO! Did you see the thing that looked like flowing curtains – but was actually Castle starting to remove his shirt from Kate's naked body. When she smiles as she leans in for a kiss her shoulders are bare and she isn't wearing the shirt anymore! And given the last sentence I just typed, it's quite possible I need to get a life right now! Haha. Liv_


	57. Chapter 57 'Doing The Accounts'

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 57 – A Whole New Meaning to 'Doing The Accounts'_**

"Hey, girlfriend," yelled Lanie, waving wildly from the far end of the bar. The sway of her hips and the half-drained icy Mojito she held aloft in her other hand signaled to Kate that she might be more than one drink in already.

"Hi, Lanie," said Kate, leaning all the way down to embrace her friend, while Castle hovered at her back, not quite ready to let her go just yet.

"I know you're her shadow, writer boy," scolded Lanie, with one eyebrow cocked, "but she's not going to disappear in a puff of smoke if you're not molded to her backside every second of the day."

Kate laughed in surprise, and turned to look at her partner who was shifting uncomfortably behind her, torn between heeding Lanie's very public warning, and staying close to Kate because he just pathetically needed to right now.

"Hey," said Kate, lowering her voice so that only Castle could hear. She curled cool fingers around his wrist to draw him closer. "How about you get us some drinks? Hmm?" she suggested, leaning against him to let him know that she understood how he felt, how taxing today had been for both of them.

"My boyfriend owns this joint, you know," she teased. "So the drinks are on him tonight," she whispered, before biting her lip in an effort to get Castle to relax.

"Sure," said Castle, giving her an uneasy smile.

"And, Rick," said Kate, tightening her grip on his wrist before he could walk away. Her hair fell onto his shoulder and brushed across one cheek as she rested against him to whisper in his ear. "We came here together, and we're going home together. Just remember that. Okay?" she added, with a wink.

He nodded, and a smile brightened his face at her words, light from the stained glass lamps above the bar now catching his eyes, sparkling. "Good to know," he said, with that trademark, press lipped, slightly twisted smirk of his, before turning away towards the bar a happier man.

"Make mine a dirty martini," Kate called after him, winking again when he turned to acknowledge her order with a theatrical little bow.

"Hmm, dirtier the better, I'll bet," muttered Lanie dryly, shaking her head at the two of them as if they were a lost cause. "Does that man _ever_ stop following you around?"

"We've had kind of a rough day," explained Kate. "Things are heating up with the case, and not in a good way."

She could feel the light press of the SuperTuck holster inside the waistband of her jeans, her Baby Glock sitting at about five o'clock, set low behind her right hip at a twenty degree cant, concealed beneath the flowing purple fabric of her silk top.

Castle had felt it too, when he'd backed her into the elevator at home and gone in for a squeeze of her ass, getting a little more of a handful than he'd bargained for in the process.

He'd gone quiet after that, clinging to her hand in the cab, horrified when he'd asked and she'd told him that, yes, her gun was loaded and there was a round in the chamber to boot. It made the threat seem too real for him; in the same way that carrying strengthened her. Finally they'd agreed to disagree, though he was obviously still reluctant to leave her side.

* * *

"So where's Javi?" asked Kate, looking around the bar for Esposito.

"And what makes you think _I'd_ know where _that_ boy is?" asked Lanie, all sass and attitude as she took another long sip of her drink.

Kate looked down at her friend coolly, arched her eyebrow, spotting right away that she was covering something up.

"Lanie, this is _me_ you're talking to," said Kate, resting one hand on her hip, giving the M.E. a little something of her own medicine.

Lanie dragged a stool out from the brass foot rail below the bar and climb on board, depositing her sweating highball glass on top of the bar beside a small wooden bowl of peanuts. A few spiky looking mint leaves were poking above the rim of the glass, and she squashed them down rather viciously with the end of her straw, then sighed and gave Kate a mournful look, about ready to give in.

"He tried to apologize for the other day. For the way he treated me at your place in front of everyone because I set him up with Ryan, and _I_, like a fool, wouldn't listen. So…I don't think he's gonna show up here tonight."

Lanie looked miserable, and so Kate hadn't the heart to correct her, that Castle's loft was not '_her place'_. Instead, she rubbed her friend's arm in sympathy.

"I'm really not that bothered, Kate," said Lanie, trying to put on a brave face. "He can run around with whomever he wants. I know that little tramp from Admin, the one who wears her shirts two sizes too small so that her boobs are practically falling out? She's been after him for months, sendin' him text messages, little flirty glances in the hall, hell she even baked him cookies."

"_She_…?" coughed Kate, her eyes standing out on stalks, and how had she missed all of this? Staring at Castle most likely, her brain supplied.

"Yeah. Like I said, the fool can see who he wants," drawled the M.E.

"Just how many of these have you had?" asked Kate, picking up Lanie's cocktail glass and taking a long drag on the straw. "Because I know you don't really mean that, Lanie Parish," she argued. "And you certainly didn't wear _that _for my benefit," said Kate, indicating Lanie's tight-fitting, silver sheath of a dress; the low neckline, bare shoulders and legs, heels that made even Lanie seem a little closer to Kate's height than normal.

"The hell I don't. We're a train wreck, Kate. Can't keep it together for five freakin' minutes. _You_ know that," Lanie argued back.

"I also know that relationships take work. Look at me and Castle. Who'd have thought we'd ever get it together? But we did."

"The whole Precinct had money on you guys getting together because anyone could see you two were a safe bet. And at least _you_ always knew that writer boy loved you. That he stuck around, waiting until you were ready, because he's in it for the long haul. Javi and I are all pop and no fizz."

Kate laughed at that, and then her face straightened in an instant.

"Well, that fizzy pop just walked into this bar, so you'd better put your money where you mouth is, girl. Because he's headed this way," grinned Kate, watching Esposito enter the basement bar over Lanie's shoulder, as her friend frantically tried to straighten herself out before he reached them.

* * *

Javier Esposito looked _really_ good, dressed in black jeans and a tight-fitting black button-down, all dark and brooding; every inch the Latin Lover. His days since their suspension had quite clearly been spent at the gym, if the definition in his pecs and they way he was filling out those jeans were anything to go by.

Lanie was blushing and Kate was grinning, and then her friend was hissing at her to just shut up, with her eyes narrowed to slits.

"What are you two ladies gossiping about?" asked Castle, coming up behind Kate to hand her a drink. Their fingers lingered over one another during the brief exchange, and Kate gave her partner a grateful smile.

He put a fresh Mojito on the bar for Lanie, and then settled next to Kate's stool, dropping his hand to the small of her back in a gesture that was becoming increasingly natural for them, just another one of their little '_things_'.

But when his fingers connected with the grip end of her gun he recoiled, whipping his hand away as if he had been scorched.

Lanie watched him with a quizzical look on her face, unable to fathom why he was pulling away from Kate so suddenly when he couldn't get enough of her just a couple of minutes ago.

Castle gave Kate a troubled frown, and then he turned away with the weak explanation that he was going to get Esposito a drink.

Kate watched as Castle slapped Javier on the back, greeting him warmly but without the usual light in his eyes, his smile not making it all the way.

Javi was looking over a Lanie as if he really wanted to talk to _her_ rather than Castle, and Kate felt bad for them both. But she let it play out for now, resolving to waylay Castle at a later point so they could sort things out, letting Lanie and Esposito do the same.

* * *

"You and lover-boy fighting?" asked Lanie, breaking into Kate's thoughts.

"No," sighed Kate, shaking her head. "Actually, things between us are pretty good. It's just this break-in at my place, and…"

Kate trailed off when she saw the puzzled, shocked look on Lanie's face.

"Oh, you didn't know. Of course," she said, glancing at Esposito again, because if those two weren't talking how _would_ Lanie have heard. "Come on. Let's get a booth and I'll fill you in," said Kate, indicating to Castle that they were going to claim a space in the back corner of his bar for their little gang.

Lanie slid into the booth on the opposite side from Kate, smoothing her grey satin dress as she went, then she hitched up the front of the strapless neckline, fixing '_the girls_', and grabbed hold of her drink.

"Break-in?" she asked, shaking her head to clear the buzzing effect that alcohol and a proximal Javier Esposito were having on her brain.

"We went to my apartment today to get my mom's notebooks," explained Kate. "But when we got there someone had broken in and removed all the case files – photographs, reports, everything was gone."

"Shit, girl," whistled Lanie, clinking her glass against Kate's. "You okay?"

"Yeah, more or less. It's not like they left a mess or anything, you had to know where to look to be able to tell anyone had even been there. I just…I hate the feelings that go along with having your home invaded, you know, the thought of someone going through all my stuff, trying not to behave like a victim. Castle was with me, and Ryan really came through, got CSU over within the hour. That's probably why he and Jenny are late. Even Gates showed up…"

"Iron Gates showed up at your apartment?" squeaked Lanie. "And you're not freaking out over that right now? Your boyfriend must be having some kind of miraculous drugging effect on you, Kate Beckett."

Kate laughed at Lanie's overreaction.

"_I'm_ actually the one trying to keep _him_ calm. The way he reacted earlier – not wanting to leave my side and then recoiling when he touched me – that was because I decided to wear my back-up piece tonight, and he doesn't like it."

"Are you _that_ worried?" asked her friend, leaning forward across the table so that they could talk more quietly.

"They're cleaning house, Lanie. Whoever this is. First the files at Montgomery's place, then this guy Smith, Mason, _whatever_, is murdered, and now all trace of the case is wiped from at my apartment. Who knows what's next. I just want to be ready for whatever's coming," said Kate, pushing her hand through her hair and then sitting back in the booth.

"Honey, promise me you'll be careful," said Lanie, reaching out across the table for Kate's hand.

"I made her promise me first."

Castle's deep voice was a low rumble next to Kate's ear as he slid into the booth beside her, forcing her to scoot over to make room for him.

Kate turned her head to look at him, their faces now only inches apart. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek, the honey-sweet caress of whisky fumes filling her nostrils and burning her eyes. Then his large, warm palm slipped into the curve of her spine, fingers inching between the small of her back and leather of the booth seating, just above the outline of her holster, and she knew, she just knew that this was him telling her that it was okay, that whatever she needed he was right here, that he loved her and that would never change, all with a touch, all without words.

Kate nodded slightly to acknowledge him, her eyes never leaving his. She wanted to kiss him, to sample the rich peaty smokiness of Scotch, mixed with the addictive taste of Richard Castle, but she was pretty sure Lanie would throw a shoe or something equally dangerous if Kate tried that on in front of her right now.

Before she could even reach for him, someone cleared their throat off to Kate's left, and she tore her gaze away from Castle to see who it was.

* * *

Esposito was standing in front of the booth, shifting from foot-to-foot uncomfortably, holding a bottle of beer in his hand, the label already peeled half off by nervous, fidgety fingers.

"Room for one more?" he asked, eyes magnetically drawn to a certain Doctor Parish, since for Javi there might as well have been no one else there, and looking at Lanie right now the feeling was mutual.

Kate cleared her throat, loudly, a little smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth, and then she arched her eyebrow at her friend and said, "Lanie was just saying how chilly she was sitting over there on her own. Why don't you scooch on in and warm her up, Espo?"

Kate's eyes were twinkling with mischief when she finished, and Esposito was smiling gratefully at her as he slid slowly in beside a squinty-eyed Lanie, who was sending daggers in Kate's direction.

* * *

Castle was blissfully unaware of any of this. Since he was solely focused on letting go of his anger and discomfort over Kate's decision to bring her weapon to his bar on a night out with their friends.

Kate was pressed up against him, leaning into his side, her warm body melding into his in front of two of their friends from work. And yet just over a week ago he'd been so miserably in love with her and this thing between them had been _so over_ before it had even started, and yet now…

His head was swimming with the nearness of her - her perfect scent, the lithe, silky brush of her arm against his, the faint shiver of curls every time she moved her head, her long, slim fingers resting lightly on his thigh…

"I eh…I need a word with you…Kate. We need to…uh," he ran out of coherent words, so just jerked his head in the direction of the office instead, dragging her out of the booth behind him by her wrist, throwing a vaguely apologetic look at their friends before he tripped his way towards the office door with Kate in tow.

"Castle, what was thaaa…?"

Kate only got that far before he spun her around, had her pushed up against the wall, her shoulder blades slamming uncomfortably hard against the matchboard surface to the sound of the door clicking shut behind them. He was about to apologize for being too rough, but then Kate's mouth was on his, swallowing all the apologies he could muster with her lips and her hot tongue and the nip of her sharp white teeth.

"I'm sorry," he gasped, fingers threading their way into silky curls, mouth diving in for another breathtaking round of the most erotic kissing he'd ever experienced.

"Don't be," panted Kate, clinging to him. "Just…oh _fuck_, Rick," she swallowed, arching her back against the wall to let him trail his mouth further down her neck while her fingers pressed into the muscles either side of his spine, kneading rhythmically.

Kate was working on her gun belt while Castle's fingers frantically tampered with the zipper on her jeans. His thigh was pressed between her legs, practically holding her up, and as soon as her belt and holster hit the floor with a dull thud somewhere down by their feet, Castle was peeling her skinny jeans down her legs, while Kate freed up both hands to work on Castle's pants.

She had just pushed the dark wash, Classic Levi's down over the curve of his buttocks, and was palming the front of his boxers to a loud, shuddering groan from Castle, when there was a knock on the opaque glass of the office door.

The panel rattled slightly in the wooden frame, the noise reverberating around the room, breaking the sudden silence. The dark outline of a male figure bloomed against the frosted glass.

"Shit," choked Castle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Who the hell…?" he cursed.

"Ignore it," giggled Kate breathily, rocking her body against his thigh, her thumb brushing the hard, silky length of him through the opening in his underwear, eliciting another groan from her partner, which he smothered against her neck. "If we're quiet they'll go away," whispered Kate, wickedly weaving her fingers further into the slit in his shorts to stroke all of him.

"Kate. Dear _God,_" he groaned, thrusting hard against her hand; lewd and juvenile and jerky.

His own fingers had strayed up inside the loose front of her shirt, and her breasts were currently cupped in his palms while his thumbs worked her nipples to stiff, sensitive peaks under the lace of her bra. Kate let out a shuddering breath against his jaw, and Castle could have sworn he could see stars.

"Mr. Castle?" came the voice of Charlie the barman through the office door, accompanied by more knocking and a rattle of the brass doorknob. "You in there, sir?"

Christ, half the bar could have seen them skulk in there, so there was no point pretending that they weren't hiding out in the office about to have fast and furious sex against a wall. Lanie and Javi saw them for sure, and if anyone was going to out them to Charlie, then those two were the prime suspects.

"Be right there, Charlie," yelled Castle, now pulling up his pants, fumbling at the front to tuck himself back in before he got painfully snagged in the zipper.

"Go sit at the desk, make it look like we were going over the accounts or something," hissed Castle, reaching down to hand Kate her Baby Glock, still firmly planted in its' leather holster.

Her brown belt swung loosely from Castle's hands like a snake, and she took the whole getup from him and shook her head with a smirk. "The books, Castle? _Really?_"

"Just…go, woman", he grinned back, wafting her away from him with his hands.

He threw her a lustful gaze over his shoulder before limping to the door, his aroused state not quite extinguished by the peril of being caught by a twenty-three year old barman in front of a roomful of patrons and friends.

Charlie wanted to go over the staff rota for the Labor Day weekend it turned out. _Holy shit!_ Castle could have throttled the guy with his bare hands, and he was pretty sure Kate would have helped him dispose of the body if her loud groan of frustration was anything to go by. He got a barked, '_not now see me later'_ from the writer, and then the door was closed in his face.

"We _cannot_ resume what we were doing now he knows we're in here," said Kate, getting up from behind the desk shaking her head at Castle.

She got a needy whine in reply.

Her silk shirt was a little wrinkled and her hair a little mussed, her cheeks were adorably pinker than when they'd arrived, and her red lipstick was less evident on Kate's lips, but definitely more noticeable on Castle's. However, apart from that, she looked perfectly respectable, and just breathtakingly beautiful to Castle's eyes.

"Here," said Kate, stepping closer so she could tuck Castle's shirt into the back of his pants. "I like how you apologize," she added with a consoling smile, gently kissing him on the corner of his mouth, more soothing than erotic this time. Then she wiped away the traces of her lipstick with her thumb.

"I like how _willing_ you are to accept my apologies," murmured Castle, trying to make the kiss into something more, until Kate held him off with her hands. "Though I can't say I'm liking this," he added, trying to swoop in again to claim her neck.

"Later," she said firmly, huffing out a laugh as she pressed her palms against his pecs before pushing back off of him. Then she swerved around his tall frame to get to the door.

"Come on, stud," she held out her hand to him, laughing at his adorably pouty face. "Let's see if Ryan and Jenny have arrived."

* * *

They got catcalls, whistles, jeers and a few sarcastic remarks when they arrived back at the booth to find all four of their friends waiting for them.

"Kate was helping me go over the accounts," lied Castle, unwisely, to a light slap on the back of the head from his partner and a chorus of, "Oh, is that so?" from Lanie and Jenny.

"Dude, I can't even look at you right now," smirked Esposito in mock disgust.

Ryan got up and clapped Castle on the back, muttering, "The accounts? You're a writer, and that's the best excuse you could come up with, bro? Shame on you," he added, with a shake of his head.

Castle retreated to the bar to get a round of drinks for everyone, figuring that buying his way back into their good books was the best plan for now.

"Let me help you," said Kate, taking hold of his arm.

"He's a big boy, Kate," chided Lanie, stopping her in her tracks. "I'm sure he can handle a few drinks by himself."

* * *

So Castle headed to the bar alone, trying to be civil to Charlie as he placed the order for the six of them. He drummed his fingers impatiently on the sticky wooden surface, throwing glances over his shoulder now and again at Kate, who always seemed to be watching him with a slow, easy smile on her face whenever he turned to look her way. His need for her was still thrumming through his body, making his restless. But overall he felt a deep sense of happiness and contentment at being there tonight, with good friends and an even better partner by his side.

Castle had just turned away from the bar, a round black rubber tray laden with beer bottles and glasses balanced on one large hand, to see his friends and his girlfriend laughing raucously at something Javi had just said. When all of a sudden, a bullet zipped past his ear, a split second after the sound of tinkling glass.

Someone, he thought it was probably Kate, yelled '_gun'_, and then he and the tray of drinks hit the deck in a cacophony of shattering glass, accompanied by the hiss and crack of bullets splintering wood and glancing off metal, with the screams of the bars' patrons ringing in his ears.

_A/N: Oooops! A cliffhanger. Sorry folks, this one was getting a little long, and…well, sometimes I just like to tease. Loved that so many of you saw the beauty in the shaving scene. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Liv_


	58. Chapter 58 Sitting Ducks

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 58 – Sitting Ducks_**

The next array of gunfire took out the lights over the bar, a row of optics, and the mirror behind. Glass showered in every direction and liquids sprayed and spilled down the back wall, while Charlie and the Old Haunt's patrons hit the deck screaming.

Kate was crawling on her hands and knees, gun already drawn, across the floor to where Castle lay in a pool of foaming beer, spilt whisky, dry gin and vermouth. The air was thick with the smell of liquor fumes mingled with a faint taint of gunpowder - a sulfurous metallic cocktail of sawdust, graphite and nitroglycerin.

A stuffed olive rolled past Castle's ear and he flinched, his brain on high alert, confusing the harmless, briny, pitted fruit for a bullet or spent shell casing; the impossible made possible by the curse of his over-active, writer's imagination.

"Castle? Castle, you okay?" pleaded Kate, her hands cupping both his cheeks as she leant over him on her knees. "Rick, you're bleeding," she whined, emptying her throat of a terrible, desperate, panicked sound, while she swiped her thumb gently beneath his left eye as she continued to hold him.

"Flying glass," coughed Castle, still winded from throwing himself to the floor. He touched his own face with the back of his hand, inadvertently smearing blood across his cheek.

The shooter got off another couple of rounds in quick succession. One hit the brass rail beneath the bar, sending sparks showering to the wooden floor. The reverberation rang the length of the room, the brass rail humming like a struck tuning fork. The second shot was aimed higher, just above Kate and Castle's heads where they cowered together, too exposed for safety's sake. It ricocheted off a metal ice bucket on top of the bar and hit the old jukebox standing in the corner, embedding in the metal casing.

Suddenly, the eerie strains of Gloria Gaynor's "_I Will Survive_" began a jerky, skipping performance that punctured the silence of the Old Haunt. The song reached the line "_And so you're back, from outer space_", before the machine overheated, blew a fuse in a shower of sparks, and died with a deflated whine, falling back to winded silence; like a wind-up toy with a broken spring.

Castle managed to get up on all fours, crouched low to shield Kate from the direction of fire, much to her annoyance. "We've got to get out of here," he ground out, his heart hammering as he half dragged, half carried her over to the relative safety of one of the bar's side booths, where they were able to crawl in under the table and pause to catch their breath.

* * *

They didn't have long to wait before another spray of bullets tore through the broken basement window.

"Everybody stay down," yelled Kate, her voice forceful and commanding. "Stay down, stay calm, and don't move. We're NYPD."

"Beckett, intermittent gunfire at ten o'clock," shouted Esposito in warning, watching the flash of a semi-automatic handgun from where he was crouched low over Lanie's prone form in the back corner booth.

Kate could hear Jenny whimpering somewhere off to their right, Ryan's soothing tones trying to calm his wife down. The rest of the customers had fallen remarkably quiet, and Kate desperately hoped that wasn't a bad sign.

A burst of bright flashes illuminated the darkness at street level, briefly outlining the silhouette of a tall figure, most likely male judging by his build, hood pulled up over his head.

A deathly pause followed, a silence that seemed to blanket everything, swallowing sound like a physical weight.

"Seventeen shots fired," yelled Esposito, his Special Forces and SWAT training making him best placed to keep tally, during the hiatus in the ear-shattering, terrifying onslaught of noise. "Probably a Sigma 9mm or an M&P Pro. He's either gonna take off or reload," he warned Kate.

"Nobody move until I give the all clear," hissed Kate, to the captive audience. "And I mean _nobody_."

A pretty girl, college age, who Kate had noticed earlier, nervous and smiling far too wide for tonight to be anything other than a first date, whimpered into the shoulder of her young male companion. Another unidentified body off to her right sniffled loudly, letting out a shaky exhale from behind the poor cover of a downed bar stool. Several people were simply lying face down with their hands covering their heads, praying for the best.

Above them, through the smashed window, there was the sound of a clip being ejected onto the sidewalk, and then the sharp metallic glide and click of a fresh one being slammed into place.

"Shit, Beckett," swore Esposito. "Looks like he's not done yet."

* * *

Castle was gripping Kate's waist, fingers flexing hard enough to bruise against her sides as he lost sight of his own strength in the midst of his anxious haze. Adrenalin flooded his system, elevating his blood pressure, raising his heart rate, and he held Kate back against his chest, since her insistence on facing the windows to give her a clearer view of the action had placed her in front of him.

"Espo? Ryan?" Kate called out across the bar to her boys. "Either of you packing?"

"No," came back their joint response, their answers tinged with embarrassment at being caught unprepared.

"Then nobody goes anywhere," said Kate, her voice steady and controlled, low and determined, a command that wasn't to be messed with.

"I've got my back-up piece. I'm gonna try to get closer to the door, see if I can get a shot off or get a visual on him at least."

She turned her head and bumped her nose against Castle's cheek he was so close to her. "Rick, still got your phone?" she whispered, breathing heavily through her nose, her heart beating a frantic, thundering rhythm that she could feel all the way up in her throat.

He nodded, deadly serious and paying attention for once.

"Okay, I need you to call 911," she instructed, wrapping her fingers around his wrist for emphasis. "Call it in. Ask for back-up and a bus, let them know who's here. And tell them to hurry."

She started to free herself from the table's protection, rising from her knees to a low crouching position, her Glock held firmly in her right hand. But Castle was holding her back, repeating, "No, no, no," near her ear like a mantra.

Kate tried to shake him off, but he wasn't letting go.

"Rick, this is my job. You have to let me do this," she insisted through gritted teeth, taking his fingers and prying them off her waist with all her strength until she could stumble away. "You want to help? Make the call," she insisted, pressing his fingers around his phone.

"You're not a cop anymore," he reminded her as a last frantic attempt to stop her from throwing herself into unspeakable danger by going after this guy.

But she wasn't for stopping, and Castle was left close to despair, made frozen and useless by fear and worry that everything wonderful the universe had just granted him was about to be snatched away again.

Just seven glorious days and now the end had surely come.

* * *

"There's a handgun under the bar, beneath the cash drawer," yelled Castle, the flash of inspiration coming to him just in time. "Esposito, back her up?" he pleaded, his heart in his mouth as he watched his partner move further and further away from him.

Castle focused on his phone, as much to distract himself as anything, dialing 911 with fumbling, trembling fingers, in lieu of a direct radio link to Dispatch. He rattled out the message, gave Kate's badge number, unsure if it was even valid anymore, threw in her call sign, One-Lincoln Forty, for good measure, used words like rapid gunfire, hail of bullets, ricochet and shooter as if reading from one of his novels, not begging for help in his own damn bar. The Dispatcher was calm, seemed utterly unphased by his description of their precarious predicament – holed up in a basement, thirty or so innocent, sitting ducks, while some vengeful hired gun sprayed live rounds like confetti as he went after the love of his life.

He demanded a bus and back-up _stat_, gave the address twice over, repeated his name and the Precinct number, threw in Captain Gates to raise the stakes even higher, would have offered up his first born if they would just promise to get here and make this stop.

* * *

Kate had hunkered down low, half-crawling, half-running to get to the foot of the stairs at the front entrance to the bar. Panning her gun back and forth, she adopted the Weaver stance; legs braced, strong and steady, her right foot turned out at a forty-five degree angle, firing arm straight, counterbalanced by a slightly bent supporting arm, elbow pointed downwards – a push and pull that would create an isometric tension to counteract the gun's recoil action when she fired.

At Castle's offer of a gun, Esposito pushed Lanie further into the booth, telling her to keep her head down and stay out of sight. He called out, "Cover me, Beckett," and then slithered across the open floor on his belly and forearms until he got round behind the bar itself.

Not to be outdone, Ryan left Jenny being consoled by the M.E., signaling with well-practiced ease to his erstwhile partner that he would head out the back way into the alley, do a little recon, maybe try to distract the gunman and draw him away until reinforcements could get to them if things got really tough. His wife begged him not to go, but this was who they were – cops - the guys who ran towards danger while the rest of the world was running in the opposite direction, and it was as much a part of Kevin Ryan's DNA as his pale Irish skin and his milky blue eyes.

* * *

Kate's poorly sighted cover was Esposito's only protection had the shooter decided to let rip with another volley of shots at that moment. But he made it behind the bar without incident.

Charlie, the twenty-three year old barman, was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, hiding behind the jut of the dishwasher and an empty stack of plastic glass-crates. The whole area behind the bar was littered with broken bottles of various colors, and a sticky, stomach-churning amalgam of liquor was fast drying where it had puddled and coated the rubber floor mats.

"Which drawer?" barked Esposito at the young bartender, his face darkened, flushed features drawn into a strained grimace.

Charlie just stared at him, blindly, as if too dazed or too stupid to understand a word the detective was saying.

"NYPD, college boy," he barked again, "point to the drawer with the gun."

Charlie nodded his head several times, and it wobbled on his skinny neck like a bobblehead doll in the back window of a car, and then he finally pulled it together enough to point to the correct drawer.

"It loaded?" growled Esposito, withdrawing the stainless steel, Smith & Wesson CS45 carefully from it's concealed hiding place, and then palming the black textured grip.

The so-called 'Chief's Special' had a six round magazine, plus space for one in the chamber, and it operated as a double-action/single-action semi-automatic pistol, firing in double action mode first, and single action for each subsequent shot.

Again, Charlie nodded dumbly several times before answering. "Full clip, chamber should be empty," he stuttered, creeping further back into his hiding place as if he might somehow be able to make himself even smaller.

Esposito depressed the magazine release next to the trigger guard and withdrew the magazine to check how many rounds were in there. The magazine was full – six .45 ACP cartridges – just as Charlie had said. So he inserted the clip back into the magazine well, clicking it in place with the heel of his hand. Then he checked the loaded chamber indicator to make sure the chamber was empty, which it was, so he pulled the slide to the rear and let it carry forward, loading a single round into the chamber.

Good to go.

With the safety still on, he crawled the length of the bar, ducking down behind the sturdy protection provided by the counter until he reached the window. He was now only twenty feet from Kate, who was squatting by the front door, arms bent, with her Glock raised two-handed in front of her face, barrel pointed up towards the ceiling.

"See anything, Javi?" she called out, panic straining her voice, while the entire bar collectively held its breath. "I can't get a line on the guy. Angle's too steep from down here," she panted, shifting restlessly on the spot.

"Me either. Too dark and too damn high to get a visual on the sidewalk."

"I'm gonna have to go up there," said Kate, now talking only to Esposito, though everyone else could hear them in the deathly stillness.

Castle's choked call of, "Kate, no!" from further down the bar broke the quiet.

A week ago he would probably have kept his mouth shut and just prayed to God she'd be safe. Now he was in too deep, they both were, and he'd never forgive himself if he didn't at least try to stop her from putting herself back in the line of fire.

* * *

As the echo of Castle's distress call fell away, a second thunderous onslaught rained down all of them, possibly triggered by his voice, though it was hard to be sure.

A spread of wooden planks around a foot wide splintered along one entire section of the old floor, sending a century's worth of dust into the air as the gunman repeatedly fired his weapon, inching higher with each squeeze and release, strafing the length of the bar.

The Old Haunt's patrons cowered even lower, covering their ears, eyes screwed shut, whimpers and moans and pitifully muffled crying issuing from men and women alike, while dust and shrapnel and shards of wood and glass rained down around them, and bullets peppered the walls and floor.

* * *

Kate inched closer to the door, which had miraculously remained intact, shielded by the jut of basement wall. She worried how much of her silhouette might show through the stained glass panel, giving her location away, so she kept as low as possible, though in truth there was now less light coming from inside the bar anyway, since some of the lamps had already been taken out.

"Espo, hit the light switch behind the bar," hissed Castle, his habit of supplying just in the nick of time genius solutions to life or death problems coming through for them once again. "The main isolator is next to the register. Cut the power and he won't be able to see in."

Esposito did as Castle told him, and they were instantly plunged into darkness, only to be lit by the orangey glow coming from the street lighting above, once their traumatized retinas adjusted to the change.

The outline of the shooter was projected onto the bar's wooden floor; a looming, monstrously large version of a human being, distorted by the angle as he stood above them casting his giant shadow to the floor below.

"I've got a shot," Kate whispered sharply for Esposito's benefit. "I'm going to open the door slowly. Cover me when I do. I'll aim to drop him. Get ready on three. My count," said Kate, and the best part of thirty people held their collective breaths.

* * *

Whether it was the movement from the door, a reflection against the glass, or a flash of light from Kate's silver pendant, the gunman turned immediately in her direction, raising his weapon the second she made her move.

She took aim, leveled her gun, yelled out "_NYPD, drop your weapon, now!_" as loudly and clearly as she could, and a split second later, she double tapped the firearm with all her might, overcoming the Glock's twelve pound trigger pull to fire off two 9mm rounds back-to-back, a quarter of a second apart, aimed squarely at the dark mass on the sidewalk above her.

CSU ballistics experts would later find a 9mm Federal HydraShok jacketed hollow point bullet embedded in the doorframe to the left of Kate's head, the projectile having missed her skull by an estimated three inches.

When Esposito saw the explosive charge leave the barrel of the assailant's gun, he began firing his own weapon, emptying the entire magazine, firstly through the broken window, continuing as he swept out the door and up the basement steps after Kate.

Her first shot connected with the soft tissue of the man's left quadriceps, and he bowed slightly, before pulling the damaged leg stiffly inwards to brace his two feet together. The second shot hit a lamppost inches to the left, sending a shower of sparks out into the night.

Somewhere in the near distance, the sound of several sirens could be heard, a gathering noise, off-key and out of sync, rather like an orchestra tuning up, coming from several different directions at once, all amassing to create one powerful whole.

The gunman paused for mere seconds after that, seeming to stare Kate down, though she could make out neither his face nor any other detail in the midst of darkness and panic. Her breath was coming in short staccato bursts, her pulse hammering, and she had to blink several times to focus her eyesight as smoke from her discharged weapon blew back into her face making her eyes water.

A black SUV – possibly an Escalade, but could equally have been a Suburban or a Land Cruiser - pulled up to the curb and the shooter threw himself into the back. The vehicle screeched away before the door had even closed, smoke billowing up from the blacktop, leaving behind a nice set of tire prints in the process, before Kate could get close enough to read the full license plate.

She ran out into the middle of the street, weapon trained on the retreating vehicle, ready to open fire, to take out a window, a tire, something. But it was then that she noticed a group of frightened passersby cowering behind a neighboring car. Three adults and two young children crowded right in her line of sight, and she cursed, deeming the chance of ricochet and the risk of drawing returning fire too great to gamble letting anymore rounds off and possibly injuring unarmed civilians.

Esposito ran past her, but she called him back. His gun was empty, and the SUV was fast moving out of sight. Ryan joined them from the alleyway as they gathered to re-group; sweating, out of breath, faces white with shock. They had lost this round, but lived to tell the tale.

* * *

Kate was bent forward, hands pressed to her knees, trying to inhale steadily through her nose to calm her straining, hammering heart, when a large, familiar hand settled low on her back, anchoring her and warming her through.

But she had no time to respond, because at that very moment a neighborhood Black and White came screaming to a halt just feet away, cherry bar strobing red and blue sparks of light across the surrounding buildings, answering the emergency call to her partner's devastated bar.

The whole shocking assault had taken less than five minutes from start to finish.

_A/N: All I could think when I finished this chapter was: 'Oh My God, the paperwork!' and 'I hope Castle has good insurance cover!' I'm getting too sucked into this. Hope you enjoyed it? Will deal with the aftermath in the next chapter. Away to lie down in a darkened room after my first gun fight... Liv_


	59. Chapter 59 As Natural As Breathing

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 59 – As Natural As Breathing_**

For the next sixty seconds they stood together in a tight group on the sidewalk, a human semi-circle, surveying the damage. Castle, Kate, Ryan and Esposito stared in silence at the broken windows and the dimly lit interior of what should have been a brightly-lit, busy bar at that time of night. These clues were the only visible, outward signs of the violent assault they'd just lived through, from the exterior at least.

Their stasis was broken when another couple of squad cars screeched to a halt behind them, lights flashing, cops tumbling out with guns drawn, followed closely by the arrival of a boxy NYPD ambulance rig.

Kate ushered them back a few feet, and that's when they began to hear the whirr of rotars overhead, whispers in the night sky accompanied by a shifting shaft of white light, signaling the presence of the Aviation Unit's Agusta A119 Koala helicopter, which slid into view over the rooftops in the airspace above them, banking back round for a second look while in direct radio contact with the first area car on scene.

* * *

Castle still hadn't spoken, hadn't uttered a word in the couple of minutes that had passed since he'd come rushing out to find Kate bowed over her own knees trying to catch her breath.

They were about to move into action, make their way back into the bar to begin putting a little order on the chaos that was awakening down below, with the lifting of the immediate threat of danger and the emergence of shell-shocked patrons from under various pieces of furniture, when Ryan broke the stunned silence.

"Don't think you'll get out of this one with a round of free drinks," he quipped, aiming his joke at Castle, but drawing a startled grunt of a laugh from Esposito instead.

Castle frowned at him, still evidently a little dazed, but then he slapped the young detective on the back affectionately and said, "Just see if this isn't the hottest joint in town for the next few weeks," and Kate groaned beside him, shaking her head at his trademark response, humor as ever her boys' go-to coping mechanism.

"Guys," she sighed, watching their little display of machismo start to ramp up in front of her.

The back slapping, the shoving and jostling, the '_did you see the way I _(fill in the blank)?' as they relived and reworked the whole hateful experience while the adrenalin was still coursing through their bloodstream, making them shaky and twitchy and euphoric and just so goddamn glad to be alive.

They would also be feeling invincible, Kate knew, since she had felt the same way herself coming out the back end of a gunfight victorious. Hell even alive would do it. And so she also knew how dangerous these moments could be, how judgment could be impaired by cocky self-assurance, until veins were washed clean of that natural high, and sober reality hit hard, doubt and depression and the haunting what ifs lurking just around the corner to ambush an unsuspecting soul just as much-needed sleep was on the horizon.

So, she knew they needed focus to get them through the next hours before that inevitable crash happened, and Kate decided she would be the one to provide it.

* * *

"Guys, guys!" she said again, raising her voice, more determined this time, finally managing to grab their scattered attention. "We have work to do. The war stories will have to wait. Let's go back downstairs and check on everyone. Assess for injuries and direct anyone who needs help to the paramedics, but don't let them leave before we get statements. Understand?" she asked, eyeballing Ryan and Esposito first. "Castle, go check on Lanie and Jenny, then come and find me. Esposito, brief as many Uniforms as you can find to start a canvas. This guy waged a gun battle on a Manhattan street at seven-thirty on a Tuesday evening. Somebody has to have seen or heard something."

"Yes, boss."

Next Kate turned her attention to Ryan.

"Ryan, were you able to see anything from the alley?"

"Got a partial on the license plate, but it was too dark and I was too far away to see the shooter."

"You get a make and model?" asked Kate eagerly, an edge of contained excitement to her voice.

"Black Chevy Suburban. No question, Beckett. Sporting New York plates. First three letters were Foxtrot Alpha Alpha. Couldn't get a visual on the rest though."

"Get that fed through to Air Support and all patrol units. I want all available eyes out looking for these guys. Maybe someone will see something before they ditch the vehicle, stash it somewhere and switch."

"On it," said Ryan, pleased to have something important to do.

"We also know this guy is injured. A 9mm to the thigh? He's gonna need treatment. So, get a message out to every emergency room in the five Boroughs. I want details of all reported gunshot wounds copied to the Twelfth, in addition to the usual channels. Ryan, get Karpowski to coordinate and monitor that. The minute we get a likely suspect we have to be ready to move."

"You don't think he'll have somewhere private he can go? Some retired doc with shaky hands and an alcohol problem, or...or a seedy plastics guy who got struck off for getting too handsy with his female patients…?" asked Castle, ever the writer with a flair for embellishment. He tapered off when he saw the look Kate was giving him.

"That's always a possibility, yes. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try to cover every angle though. And speaking of plastics…"

"Yeah?" asked Castle, inadvertently looking down at Kate's chest.

"You're gonna have to get that cut checked out," she said, giving him a pointed stare to make him stop ogling her in front of the boys, even as she gently pressed around the edges of the ragged cut to his cheekbone, testing out the soft skin for shards of glass.

Castle hissed and tried to flinch away from her touch, but Kate had slid a hand round the back of his neck to hold him still, and _really_, she was touching him in public with such a tender look of worried concern on her face that he found he didn't want to go anywhere, painful or not.

"Later," he finally answered, clearing his throat and shaking his head at her as she let her hands drop back to her sides.

He refused to be the lame ass who parked his sorry butt in the back of an ambulance when there was so much work to be done. It was _his _bar after all.

Kate gave him a frustrated stare, but gave up nagging for the time being lest the boys get too much enjoyment from witnessing that little domestic drama.

She did turn away from them for a moment however, backing Castle up until his backside collided with the solid bulk of a cruiser's rear fender. Then she drew him closer to her with a hand at his elbow.

He gave her a worried look, like he thought she might be going a little crazy, might be about to start yelling at him or making out with him in front of all these cops and the ever growing crowd of gawkers. In truth, he was so confused that he honestly wasn't sure which. But Kate just leaned in so she could speak to him more privately.

"Rick," she bit her lip and then looked at her feet, just so goddam sexy, he thought. "The gun under the register?"

Oh shit, right, the gun. That's what she wanted to ask him about. He let go of the breath he was holding.

"Yes?"

"You have a permit or…"

Kate looked up at him at that point, worry and concern back on her face as she met his eyes.

"Yeah," he ran a hand through his hair distractedly. "Of course. Premises license. For business. Came with the place, but I've kept it up to date, and all my key guys are trained. Look it's just a precautionary thing. We've never even had to…"

Kate laid a grateful hand on his chest, cutting him off mid-flow.

"No, it's fine…that's fine. It's good. You did good, Castle," she added, sliding her fingers under the lapel of his coat and tugging lightly before letting go with a nod of approval.

Castle's shoulders dropped at the compliment, and he allowed himself a little inner victory dance. His girl thought he'd done good. He had, hadn't he? He'd saved the day…okay, maybe not single-handedly, but he'd helped and that was what counted – doing good in Kate's eyes. There could be no higher accolade as far as he was concerned.

Kate had already turned away and was headed back to the boys, their private moment over.

* * *

"Okay. I'm gonna get the perimeter set up, secure the scene," said Kate, turning her attention back to Ryan and Esposito. "I'll talk to CSU when they get here. Hopefully we get DNA, if we get lucky and there are blood droplets or spatter from when I hit the guy in the leg. We definitely have shell casings," said Kate, looking over towards the lamppost where an arc of discharged nickel-plated shell casings had been ejected six feet or more from where the assailant had stood. Some of them had rolled off the sidewalk and into the dry, dusty gutter a few feet away.

"There should be plenty of ballistics evidence too, though I hate to think what shape most of those rounds will be in. Right, people, we have work to do. Let's not miss anything. It's dark out here, so keep your eyes open, and watch where you step. We need to get this guy. Make every second count," said Kate, before striding over to one of the Black and White's to begin the task of securing the immediate area in order to protect and preserve the crime scene.

* * *

She was busy instructing a couple of Uniforms on where to place the barrier tape and how far back to push the crowd, when a commanding voice from behind stopped her in her tracks.

"Beckett, a word?" said the chilling voice of Captain Victoria Gates.

Kate turned slowly, as did her three companions.

"Not you, just her," said Gates coldly, flapping her hands in a dismissive, shooing manner at Castle, Ryan and Esposito.

The three men looked at one another, torn between feeling relieved to be off the hook and their natural instinct to close ranks to protect Kate. But as they began to walk away, feeling that was their only option, Gates cleared her throat again, seeming to change her mind for some reason.

"On second thought, you too, Mr. Castle," she said, acid dripping off her tongue along with his name.

Ryan and Esposito would have sniggered and fist-bumped under different circumstances, but they just gave Castle a quick sideways glance before hurrying away to do what Kate had asked.

Castle followed Kate over to stand in front of Captain Gates, who was leaning nonchalantly against the side of her car, arms crossed as usual, lips pursed in disapproval. He made sure to leave a respectable distance between the two of them - no touching, _definitely_ no touching.

Gates was dressed down for once, wearing only a navy v-neck sweater and a pair of dark jeans. She actually had a pair of sneakers on too, Castle noted, trying to draw on this humanizing fact, along with the further loss of height the shoes caused her, to calm his hammering heart.

"Sir?" said Kate calmly, professional to the core.

"This is _your bar_ I'm led to believe?" asked Gates, ignoring Kate and gesturing behind Castle toward The Old Haunt.

He nodded, and Gates arched her eyebrow at him, so he followed up the mute gesture with a crisp, "Yes, sir."

"And you were…_what?_ Just enjoying a night out together?" asked Gates, addressing her question to Kate this time.

"With Detective Ryan and his wife, Esposito and Dr. Parish, yes," agreed Kate, wondering for one ridiculous moment if she should feel bad for not having invited Gates to join them, if that's what her questions were about.

God she was really losing it if she thought that.

"And while you're all in there drinking and having fun, this…this _gun battle_ just happens to break out in _your_ bar, Mr. Castle?"

Gates had turned back to the writer now, and was jabbing a finger in his direction, aimed at his chest, as if he were the guilty one. Castle looked like a rabbit in the headlights, so Kate started to answer for him.

"Sir, I…"

"I was asking him, Beckett," she said, her eyes never leaving Castle's face. "What's wrong?" she asked the writer, "Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?"

Kate was fuming. They didn't need this on top of everything else. They were losing valuable time, and there was too much to do for them to be standing out here playing words games or a round of cat and mouse with their…_boss_. And suddenly it struck her, what this was really about. She wasn't a cop anymore, not officially at least, and yet her instincts had kicked right in, the draw of this job still as natural to her as breathing. Though she doubted Gates would see it that way.

* * *

If Kate was fuming, Castle was equally mad at being made to look like a fool in front of his partner by this…this _judgmental control freak_. This was _his_ bar, and her tone had just gone way beyond insulting. If Gates wanted him to tell her what had happened, he'd give her a rundown she wouldn't forget in a hurry.

He drew himself up to his full height and took a deep breath, pinning Captain Gates with his most serious look.

"At approximately," Castle looked down at his watch, "seven thirty this evening, a _lone_ gunman began firing shots into the bar from up on the sidewalk. The first shots were fired without warning and passed close by my head. Beckett instructed everyone to take cover and announced the presence of NYPD officers on the premises. Several bursts of gunfire followed over a five-minute period. Detective Esposito kept count of the shots. Seventeen rounds were fired in the first couple of minutes, and then we heard the shooter eject his clip and reload. Beckett was already armed and Esposito backed her up with a .45 that's kept under the counter for emergencies."

He stopped speaking when Gates arched a particularly vicious eyebrow at him.

"Licensed of course," he added.

Gates nodded, and then said dryly, "Continue," unfolding her arms just enough to give a little flick of her wrist and a wave of her hand to get him to resume talking.

Castle looked like he'd just got an A+ for show and tell, and he carried on the rest of his rundown a little breathlessly.

"Detective Ryan managed to get a partial license plate for the getaway vehicle by exiting the bar into alleyway. Those details, along with color, make and model, have already been passed to Air support and all patrol units. Detective Beckett," said Castle, out of pure habit, resulting in another arched eyebrow from Gates, which he ignored, "fired two rounds from the basement doorway, after announcing herself and instructing the suspect to drop his weapon. Her first round wounded the suspect in the thigh area. Esposito fully discharged the house weapon, but I can't say more than that from the position I was in."

"And at any time, while all of this was going on, did any of you people think to _call it in_?" asked Gates, pursing her lips in displeasure, eyeing Castle first, before turning her steely gaze on Kate.

"Castle did, sir," said Kate, taking over. "Within the first minute or so, once we were sure everyone had taken adequate cover, he called 911 and gave Central a full rundown on the situation, while I was covering Esposito – he gave the number of civilians and officers present, clearly relayed the location, requested immediate back-up and medical support. Text book, sir."

Gates' withering look softened just slightly, and she gave Castle the barest of nods.

"It seems you did all you could under the circumstances, both of you. I heard the tail end of your instructions to Detective Ryan and Esposito, Beckett. And while your actions are commendable, I cannot have Detectives running around without badges, investigating crime scenes."

Kate opened her mouth to protest immediately.

"Sir…"

But Gates headed her off at the pass, holding up a silencing hand.

"Which is why, _Detective Beckett_, I have decided to temporarily reinstate you, until we can sit down properly and thrash out the issue of your suspension."

"Resignation," corrected Kate, and Castle groaned inwardly, thinking, sweetheart, this is what you wanted, just let her say whatever it is and suck it up.

Gates thankfully ignored Kate's clarification and carried on.

"You are _both_ eyewitnesses to tonight's crime – do _not_ act like one – act like _cops_. I will not have someone running around the streets of Manhattan taking potshots at my best detectives. Now, go and do your jobs, and be in my office at ten sharp tomorrow morning prepared to deliver a full report on tonight's activities, crime scene analysis not withstanding."

Then she reached into the open window of her car, and handed Kate her badge and her gun, before asking her to send Detective Esposito out to see her.

Castle didn't take the shit-eating grin off his face until they were back down inside the bar, and the full impact of the last half-hour hit him square in the face.

_A/N: I think I'll call this chapter the 'half-termath'. Again, it was getting too long to get into the detail in the actual bar, and I know you all like speedy updates, so I decided to split it and post this section today. _

_Before I get hell for the way Gates handled Kate's reinstatement, can I please remind everyone that this is a work of fiction, based on a work of fiction (how meta), and the beauty of that is that we can do whatever we like in these stories. So if I want to call an ambulance a 'bus', I can, and if Gates is happy for Kate to investigate this attempt on her life, if that's what it is, then so be it. I'm trying to keep the factual details as real as possible, but artistic license is required from time-to-time to keep the story moving forward. I hope that's okay with everyone. Have a peaceful Sunday people and a great Labor Day weekend. Liv_


	60. Chapter 60 Help Me Forget

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 60 – Help Me Forget_**

When they left Captain Gates and went back down into the bar, they found Lanie running a triage area in Castle's back office, aided by Ryan's wife, Jenny.

One shell-shocked woman was sitting with her head between her knees, breathing into a paper bag someone had procured from somewhere, while Jenny rubbed slow, soothing circles on her back and counted out loud for her.

An EMT was attempting to stop the bleeding on the scalp of a bald man who'd caught the top of his scull on a loose nail on the underside of one of the tables while ducking for cover. The wound, though superficial, was bleeding the way most scalp lacerations did – copious amounts of bright red blood that looked all the more shocking as it welled up against the pallor of man's shiny white skin.

The young college student Kate had noticed earlier had a cut just above her right eye as a result of some flying glass, but she was holding on tightly to her boyfriend's hand while Lanie attempted to extract a long wood splinter from his forearm with a pair of tweezers and a steadier hand than Kate might have expected from the M.E., two Mojitos into the night.

"Hey, Lanie," said Kate, dropping a hand to her friend's shoulder. "You okay?" she asked, noting the pot of coffee someone, probably Jenny, had been thoughtful enough to set up on the desk area.

"Not how I thought tonight would go, but yeah, I'm fine. How're Castle and the boys? No one hurt, I hope?" asked the M.E.

"Castle's…" Kate started to say.

"Right here," supplied the writer, coming up behind Kate and planting his hand on her lower back, just needing to touch her for a second to steady himself.

"Honey, let me look at your face," said Lanie, beckoning Castle closer, and then indicating for him to take a seat on the adjacent sofa while she finished up with splinter boy.

The blood around the cut to Castle's face had coagulated in the crease between the orbit of his left eye and the zygomatic bone, forming a dramatic-looking, dark red clot.

"Lanie, I'm fine. It's just a scratch, honestly," insisted Castle, twitchy with the mental list of things they had to do, his ears still faintly ringing from the last burst of gunfire and the barked commands of Victoria Gates.

"Well, scratches have a way of getting infected, and I don't want to be treating your sorry ass for sepsis after all that rolling around on the floor you were doing."

Kate gave him a '_see, you should have listened to me_' look, and so he stuck his tongue out at her, drawing a startled laugh from her pale lips. She turned around at the sound of a new set of male voices and then squeezed Castle's arm quickly.

"CSU are here. I have to go brief them. Let Lanie look at you and then come find me, okay?"

Castle grumbled, but ultimately agreed, sinking down on the battered leather sofa to wait his turn.

* * *

Lanie passed the man with the splinter and his girlfriend over to the EMT once he'd finished patching up the scalp lac guy, and then she waved Castle over to the chair in front of her.

"She okay?" asked Lanie, now that Kate had left the office and everyone else was absorbed in their own tasks.

"She…yeah. I think so. You should have seen her take charge out there," he shook his head appreciatively.

"She _is_ somethin'," agreed Lanie.

After a few quiet moments, in which Lanie felt around the wound site for glass, then irrigated the cut, cleaned it and dressed it with a couple of Steri-Strips that she'd managed to filch from The Old Haunt's surprisingly well-stocked first aid kit, she looked Castle in the eye and asked, "You think tonight's fireworks display was meant for her?"

Castle stared back at Lanie, the horrible truth he'd been trying to avoid eyeballing since the first shot had been fired, now an inevitability he could no longer avoid staring down.

"I know she came here armed tonight, Castle, 'cause she already told me. And that break-in at her apartment…they're looking for her, aren't they?"

"Seems that way, yes," said Castle, his voice low, eyes dropping to the floor as he nodded slowly, steepling his fingers in his lap, before picking distractedly at a hangnail.

"So what are you doing about it?" asked Lanie, nudging his foot with her own to get his attention back, before she fixed him with her scariest stare.

"I'm…I'm trying to help her work the case," he explained, a little weakly, as if offering up a poor excuse for effort that fell way below that which was required. "Gates just reinstated her…at least for the time being, Javi too, I think. She was determined to brief CSU herself. Hell, she even showed the Uniforms where to hook up the barrier tape. I reckon she'd do the canvas by herself if she could."

"You know that's just how she functions, Castle. She needs to feel in control to get through stuff like this. Go help her, be there for her, keep having her back. That's the best you can do for her right now."

"And what if it's not enough, Lanie?"

His question was painfully honest, all his fears laid bare in front of his partner's best friend.

Lanie paused a mere second before answering decisively.

"Rick Castle, since when have you _not_ been enough for that woman?" she asked fiercely, trying to bolster Castle in the face of both his fear and her own. "I saw how you two were together tonight – both fighting to protect the other. You'll do just fine. Now _go_, before I whip your butt myself."

"How's it looking?" he asked, touching his cheekbone tentatively before he got up.

"I'd say you still qualify as ruggedly handsome…_barely, _but you'll live," she teased. "See your own doctor in the morning to get the wound checked over, and make sure your tetanus shot is up-to-date," she added in a softer voice.

Castle thanked her and got up from the chair. He smiled at Jenny, who was now hunched over on the sofa by the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees. When he asked them both if they'd like a drink, the two women shook their heads, and so he gave them a courteous nod and made to leave the office.

"Castle?" called Lanie, bringing him back from the threshold.

"Yeah?"

"Take care, won't you. Both of you," she added, to a more considered nod from the writer.

* * *

He went outside to find Kate. The bar was still crowded, customers corralled in one corner having their statements taken by the large number of Uniforms who'd amassed on scene. He slapped a shell-shocked Charlie the barman on the back as he passed on through, skirting the edge of the bar and the worst of the damaged floor to reach the front door.

Kate was out in the street talking to one of the techs while he placed yellow plastic, A-frame marking tents on the ground to record and number the exact position of each ejected shell casing. Meanwhile, a second tech attached low-tack adhesive arrows to the doorframe Castle had just passed through, marking the entry point of the bullet that had narrowly missed Kate's head, photographing it, before he began pouring over the entirety of the bar's frontage with a blue LED flashlight, on the look out for trace, gunshot residue and blood spatter.

"What do we know?" asked Castle, when he reached her side.

"Bullets are Federal Hydra Shok full metal jacket's. Expanding .35 caliber rounds. Hollow point with a unique center post design. Makes them expand rapidly on contact and generally gives deeper penetration," she explained, her eyes never leaving the constellation of shiny metal scattered on the ground.

The sexual overtones to Kate's description of the bullets' _performance_…shit he was doing it now too…weren't completely lost on Castle. But the meaning behind them dulled any arousing effect these words – deeper penetration - would usually have had coming out of Kate's mouth.

He just nodded dryly, his throat suddenly parched at the thought of something so lethal anywhere near Kate's beautiful head.

"They're nearly done recording the shell casings out here. Next on the list is determining whether there's any blood spatter left behind from when I hit the guy, and we need to photograph the tire yaw marks created by the wheel spin when they took off."

Castle nodded, listening to Kate but not exactly listening, as he scanned the street and the faces in the crowd of onlookers, searching for what he wasn't exactly sure.

* * *

Kate stilled to focus on his face, watching the nervous flick of his eyes up and down the street. She tapped the CSU tech, who was hunkered down near the ground in front of her, on the shoulder and indicated with a jerk of her head that she'd be inside if he needed her.

"What?" asked Castle, when she took him by the elbow and turned him towards the bar.

"Let's go back inside, get a cup of coffee. These guys have got it covered out here," she added, propelling Castle towards the basement steps ahead of her.

He halted near the top, right where they'd stood the first time they'd visited The Old Haunt together, and he'd told her she might want to '_pop another button'_...and then, to his delight and astonishment, she had.

"You okay?" asked Kate, sensing Castle's adrenalin crash was well underway by now.

He nodded. "Lanie, she eh…"

"Oh god," groaned Kate, rubbing a hand over her eyes. "What did she say?"

"She's worried about you, Kate. And I have to say she's not the only one."

"Worry about both of us, Castle. All of us, for that matter. Because if tonight really was all about me, that guy did a piss poor job of showing it. He put everyone in that bar in danger. Not just me. And, frankly, it's a miracle no one was more seriously hurt."

"So…_what_, you don't think this is about tying up the loose ends of your mom's case?"

"Until we know more, this is just another random bar shooting."

Castle gave her a puzzled look. "But your apartment…and then the very same day…_this?_"

"Could just be coincidence," said Kate, unconvincingly, but he wasn't listening closely enough to what she was telling him to pick up on the subliminal message. His reactions were still too raw, along with his emotions.

"Unlikely," he argued.

"Sure. But, like I said, until we know more…" she tailed off, watching her partner's mind run away with itself. "Look, Rick, Gates is less likely to pull us off this investigation if we keep the suspicion of a link to my mom's case under wraps for now. Let's just treat it like any other crime scene, and keep any parallels in the back of your mind. You heard what Gates said, we have to think like cops, not like victims or eye witnesses."

"So, you're saying don't look for links?"

"No. No, I'm saying _look_, but we just don't _share_ right now. I'll brief the boys to do the same. I admit it's a hell of a coincidence for _your_ bar to be targeted the very night _we_ all gather here for a drink…"

"And how would he…? Oh god, we're being watched, aren't we?" groaned Castle, scanning up and down the street again, and then he gently turned Kate around and ushered her down the steps into the bar ahead of him.

* * *

"Call your insurance company. There should be a twenty-four hour emergency number on the policy," said Kate, trying to distract him as she watched Castle take in the damage more clearly this time.

The left hand side had sustained the worst of it. The display behind the bar – with optics smashed, the mirror now just a jagged jigsaw of glass with most of the important pieces missing, the punctured brass foot rail, and the bloom of new wood from within the old, where several bullets had struck and opened up splintered, flower-like holes; blossoms that now held shiny, mushroomed bullets embedded within their core.

Ryan arrived to speak to them, carrying a sheet of paper he'd folded into a makeshift notebook. Sounding a little out of breath, he moved his weight from foot to foot, a restless ball of nervous energy.

"Hey, Ryan. Whatcha got?" asked Kate, frowning at his fevered antics.

"Patrol stopped a black Suburban for speeding ten minutes ago at the junction of Fulton and Nassau."

"Our guys?" asked Kate, her eyes growing wide.

Ryan nodded. "No doubt."

"They were headed for the Brooklyn Bridge," said Kate, glancing at Castle.

Ryan nodded his agreement.

"So, they've got them?" she asked, suddenly breathless herself, gripping onto Castle's wrist.

Ryan shook his head.

"Officer Gary Michaels was shot once in the chest at close range. He's on his way to Downtown Hospital right now, but they don't think he's gonna make it, Beckett."

"Ah shit," said Castle from behind Kate's head, scrubbing a hand over his face as he turned and paced away, before turning to pace back again.

"And…_they got away_?" asked Kate, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Ryan nodded. "Took off towards Centre Street, so they're either aiming for the Bridge or headed towards the FDR."

"Air Support being kept up to speed?"

Again Ryan nodded wordlessly, hating to be the bearer of such bad news.

"Where was his partner?"

"Running the license plate. They just came on shift, hadn't picked up on the BOLO. He saw the muzzle flash, his partner dropped like a stone and then they took off. End of."

"_End of?_ _End of?"_ repeated Kate angrily. "I want road blocks set up, spike strips, the department chopper _on_ that vehicle, Ryan. Whatever it takes. _You_ _understand?_ Whatever heat-seeking, license plate-reading, laser-guided gizmos they've got up there, I want them to use them. Because once these guys get out of the city, our chance of finding them drops for every mile they travel."

* * *

Kate walked away from them, heading over to watch one of the forensic guys remove a length of worn wooden floorboard from the center of the bar floor, a burnished, mushroomed round still contained within the dusty, splintered surface.

"Castle, man, you've got to prepare her for the possibility that these guys might get away," said Ryan, watching his boss clench and unclench her fists in frustration.

"I will help her however I can, Ryan. You _know_ that. But we need to stay on top of this. Kate's right. The best chance we have of finding them is right now. If they're watching her…us…we need to know where they are, or we lose complete control of this thing."

Ryan gave Castle a long, slow, steady look that said, '_Control? You think we ever had control of this?_'. But then he nodded anyway, agreeing with Castle's point.

"I know, man," said the writer, as he laid a conciliatory hand on Ryan's shoulder and squeezed. "I know."

* * *

The drama gradually wound down. Statements were taken, names and contact details recorded. CSU photographed every last bullet hole, tire track, and shell casing. They collected cigarette butts, apple cores and discarded chewing gum they found lying on the sidewalk and in the gutter out front just in case. Then they sketched the general layout of the bar, and used laser trajectory pointers to establish the shooter's exact location when he paused on the sidewalk outside, took aim, and rained down the devastating havoc he'd wreaked on The Old Haunt that Tuesday night.

Two guys from Window-Fix Inc. were busy boarding up the bar's smashed front windows until a full repair could be carried out in the morning. Then finally, blissfully, the hammering and the sawing stopped.

* * *

Castle, Kate, Lanie, Esposito, Jenny and Ryan gathered in the back office with a bottle of whisky Castle had brought up from the cellar. Kate handed out the chunky glasses once he'd done the honors - two fifths of amber Scotch to calm their shredded nerves.

Esposito was sitting on the edge of the leather sofa with Lanie pressed up against his side. His fingers stroked her arm, up and down, over and over, rhythmically, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Ryan and Jenny were sitting close together at the other end, hands clasped loosely, a hint of exhaustion painting their faces.

"Guys," said Castle, raising his glass. "I know tonight's been rough on everyone. But I just wanted to say…"

He paused and looked at Kate, who was sitting on the edge of his desk swinging her legs, before he turned back to face the group.

"To friendship and teamwork. You guys are the best."

"To friendship," echoed the little group, as Castle slipped his arm around Kate's shoulders and pulled her into his side.

They clinked glasses with one another, and then he pressed his lips to the crown of her head, letting his eyes fall closed for a second and his senses fill up with all that was Kate.

* * *

Later that night, when they were back home and safely tucked up in bed, Castle lay awake in the dark running the events of the last few hours over and over in his mind.

"Rick?"

"Hmm?"

"I can hear you thinking from way over here," said Kate, sliding her hand across the cool expanse of mattress to feel for his hand.

"Sorry. I was…it just seems so surreal when I think back on it. I'm finding it hard to switch off…to forget," he admitted.

"I understand," agreed Kate. "That's how it goes. It's not exactly what we planned for tonight's get-together, I know. But at least Javi and Kevin seemed to be getting on better, and did you _see_ the way he was looking at Lanie?" she asked, with excitement. "No surprise if those two went home together."

"Looking for a silver lining, Detective Beckett?" asked Castle, turning on his side to face her. He rested his broad palm on the flat of her stomach, soaking in her warmth and the rise and fall of her abdomen as she breathed in and out. "That's usually my job."

"Yeah, well, you seem a little preoccupied right now. So how about you leave the silver linings to me for a change?"

Castle inched closer to her, wrapped his arms around her middle, and pulled her across the bed until she was pressed up again him.

Kate let out a startled, breathy laugh as she slid helplessly across the sheets towards him.

"Trying to tell me something?" she asked, wiggling her backside up against his hips, and Castle could hear her teasing smile in the dark of the bedroom.

"You were far too far away from me."

"Mmm," hummed Kate, stroking the light hair on his forearms with her fingertips. "And we couldn't have that."

Silence fell over the bedroom again.

"Kate?"

"Yes, Castle?"

"I'm really proud of the way you handled yourself tonight."

Stunned silence stretched out into the dark with the ephemeral quality of a shooting star absorbed by the night sky.

"I…thank you. But I think you've got that the wrong way round."

"What do you mean?" asked Castle, strumming the ridges of her ribcage with the edge of his thumb.

"The way you handled Gates? You got me my job back, Castle. _I'm_ the one who's proud…of _you_."

"Well, aren't we the little two-man cheering squad," he joked, drawing his knees up so that Kate was forced to do the same as she effectively sat in his lap, even though they were still lying on their sides in bed.

"I'm proud of _us_. _And_…if it took four years for me to be able to say that, then every second was not wasted. You make me insanely happy, and when I'm with you I feel safe, and I love you more than I ever thought possible, Richard Castle."

Kate could hear her partner's stunned, labored breathing behind her ear, his fingers flexing against her stomach and around the jut of her left hipbone, his heart a steady drumming thing behind her.

"Wanna help me forget?" whispered Castle, working around the lump in his throat.

He stole his fingers up underneath her camisole, until he could brush the warm, soft curve of her breast, and Kate shivered against him, arching hard against his touch.

"Oh, I'm gonna make you forget your own name," promised Kate, with a predatory grin.

And then turning in bed towards him, she wiped the smile off his face with the aching hot slide of her tongue in his mouth, while he followed that up with the desperate glide of his hand between her thighs.

Partners in everything.

_A/N: Sixty chapters people! This started out as a one-shot, so sixty chapters is crazy, and we still have three weeks to go until "After The Storm". Do you think we'll make it? Liv_


	61. Chapter 61 Teething Troubles

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 61 – Teething Troubles_**

"Okay, so we have Gates at ten. Then I have to meet the claims adjustor back at The Old Haunt at eleven…" said Castle, talking mostly to himself while he scrambled some eggs and flipped bacon on the stove. "Do you think she meant both of us when she mandated this morning's meeting?" he asked thoughtfully, stilling over the eggs until Kate had to remind him to keep moving them around or face trashing his breakfast.

"We're a team, Castle, a package deal. So whether she meant it or not, we're going in together."

"You sure? 'Cause this is your _job_ we're talking about. Not some...indulgent hobby."

"Oh, and that's what this is for _you_? An indulgent hobby?"

"No. _No! _You know it isn't. I just meant…well, Gates hates me, hates the actual sight of me, so if it helps your case to go in alone…"

"You're my partner. If she doesn't want you in the room when she tells me how disappointed she is in my behavior and how badly I've dishonored the badge, then you can wait outside with the guys. If you don't mind, that is?"

Castle pulled the pan off the stove so he could come round the counter to give Kate a kiss.

"I get to go into the Precinct with my girl. Why would I mind?" he asked, brushing his fingers along her jaw as he kissed her lightly on the lips, the graceful column of her neck, her temple, and the smooth plane of her forehead, ending with a delicate peck on the end of her nose.

Kate held him close with the gentle curl of her fingers around behind his ear and a fistful of his soft cotton tee shirt. He stood in between the vee of her legs while she sat up on the high stool, smiling at each one of his featherlike kisses, closing her eyes to revel in the sensation of being loved by this incredibly generous man whose barest touch sent tingles up and down her spine.

"We should really get this out of our system," murmured Kate, still smiling lazily as she arched up towards his mouth, "before we show up in front of Gates."

* * *

"Dad, what is _this_?"

Alexis' high-pitched, crystal clear voice shattered the tender, intimate moment. Her question was punctuated by the definitive bang of the front door closing behind her.

She was holding up the front page of the morning newspaper, her eyes wide, teeth worrying her bottom lip, as she stood in the entranceway in just her pajamas quickly continuing to read.

Kate looked up from the counter where she was fake-spooning her way through a bowl of hot oatmeal laced with blueberries and honey.

Castle had dashed back around to his side of the island, and was trying to resuscitate the half-cooked food on the stove.

"What you got there, Alexis?" asked Kate out of interest, since the girl had been the first one to collect the newspaper from the front door mat that morning.

Alexis ignored Kate's question, aiming her interrogation entirely at her father.

"Were you even going to tell me about this?" she asked, clearly upset, her naturally pale cheeks staining a furious pink. "This is The Old Haunt, right?" she asked, waving the newspaper under her father's nose. "_Your_ bar? And my God, dad, what happened to your _face_?"

Kate and Castle had '_helped'_ one another to '_forget'_ well into the wee small hours, and they'd gotten up that morning feeling sated and loose and so ridiculously close to one another that he never wanted the feeling to end.

So Alexis' attempt to pour cold water all over that perfect bubble of bliss did not go down well with Castle _at all_.

"It's _what…?_" he checked his watch, "all of seven-thirty in the morning, and you're haranguing me over something that happened just last night? Give me a chance, Alexis. I wasn't keeping anything from you. But time to have a shower and put some clothes on would have been nice."

Kate cleared her throat, hot on the heels of clearing her bowl, and she rose from the counter to deposit her dishes in the sink.

"Think I'll…just…leave you guys to it," she said quietly, backing out of the room, trying to give them some privacy for this. "Be right in there," she indicated the bedroom to Castle with a jerk of her head. "If you need me."

And God did he need her, way more than he needed _this_ at seven-thirty in the morning – an angry teenager insisting on answers when he was barely on the cusp of bending his own mind around what had happened last night.

* * *

"_Well?_" demanded Alexis, her hands on her hips, the newspaper now cast down on top of the kitchen island between them.

Castle sighed, indicated for Alexis to take a seat, and then he walked around the island to sit down facing her, their knees almost brushing.

"We all went to the Old Haunt last night," he began.

"Wait, who's _all?_" interrupted Alexis, holding up her hand.

"Kate and I, Kevin, Jenny, Lanie and Javier."

He frowned, wondering why this detail even mattered in the grand scheme of things.

"_Dr. Parish_ was there?" squeaked Alexis, evidently _way_ more concerned for the health of her boss than she was for that of her father or his girlfriend.

"Yes. Like I said, before you interrupted me, we _all_ met up for a drink, and while we were there someone took a shot at the bar. We called the police, Kate had her gun, Esposito backed her up. We had it under control, pumpkin," he lied, skirting the part about Kate wounding the suspect in the leg and the first bullet flying right past his ear. "It was really no big deal."

"No big deal? _No big deal_?" she repeated, raising her voice. "So the paper's crime reporter was _lying_ when he said, and I quote," read Alexis, picking up the newspaper once more, "'_A lone gunman pumped close to thirty-four rounds of live ammunition into celebrated mystery writer, Richard Castle's bar last night, while he sat inside drinking Mojitos with his muse, real-life NYPD Detective, Kate Beckett'_, end quote. That was a lie, was it? Lone gunman, thirty-four rounds, dad?" she demanded.

Castle shook his head silently, and was on the verge of yelling, '_Kate, I need you'_, when his telepathic partner reappeared, already dressed for work.

"Your dad wasn't drinking Mojitos, Alexis," said Kate dryly, her expression completely deadpan.

Castle nearly choked on his own tongue, had to fight the urge to guffaw out loud since he wasn't sure if she was for real or not; taking this particular tack with Alexis. Focusing on the Mojitos – _seriously,_ Kate?

"What?" asked Alexis, whipping her head round to stare at Kate, not believing what she'd just heard. "Are you still _drunk_?" she asked disdainfully.

Kate didn't flinch, just stared her down.

"I don't _care_ if he was drinking Piña Coladas with an umbrella on top. He was in a gunfight in his own bar and no one told me."

"Well, as your dad already explained, it's only seven-thirty in the morning. You weren't up yet, we were having breakfast, we have a full day ahead of us. Had you come downstairs without seeing the newspaper, I'm sure he would have told you the full story before you had to read these badly edited highlights. But attacking him, after what happened, is not helping anyone, Alexis. Especially since this wasn't his fault."

"Yeah," she muttered under her breath, "that'll be because it's yours."

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back as far as Castle was concerned. Wordlessly, he got up from the stool, took Kate by the elbow and walked them both back to his bedroom without so much as a backwards glance at his daughter.

* * *

"You okay?" asked Kate, smoothing the flat of her hand down his sleep-rumpled tee shirt once they were alone.

"It's like she's gone into full teen rebellion mode five years too late," he moaned, shaking his head in disbelief. "I thought I'd got away scot free, that we'd never have to '_talk about Kevin'," _he said, somewhat dramatically._ "_I've never heard her be so rude or sarcastic before."

"She's worked up, and scared most likely. She probably feels a little pushed out too. We _have_ been spending an _insane_ amount of time together lately."

"But that's what _she_ wanted," Castle squeaked in frustration, "for you to stay here, make sure this…us was '_real'_."

He put the word in quote marks, and then instantly felt bad for mocking his own daughter. He ran a hand through his hair, sending it in all directions.

"Yeah, well, like of lot of things we _think_ we want, we often find out they're not as great as we thought they'd be when we actually get them. She's just hitting that wall, Rick."

"But this _is_ just as great," argued Castle, with a childish pout. "In fact, it's _way better_ than great," he insisted, wrapping his arms around Kate's waist and laying his head against her chest, trying for pitiful and largely succeeding. "_You_ think so, don't you?" he asked, a hint of insecurity to his question.

Kate ignored the needy question because she was convinced that her partner already knew how she felt about them being together. At this point, how could he not?

"If you wrinkle me, Richard…?" she warned, though without any real bite, stroking his back for a few seconds and rocking them from side-to-side before she eased him off of her and took a step back, smoothing down the front of her shirt as she went.

"I don't know what to say to her anymore," he conceded, shaking his head.

"Want me to have a go?"

"I need to shower. I don't want us to be late," he said glumly. "If you talk to her, don't let her upset you. We have too much on today to let this distract us."

Kate fetched her black heels from the closet while Castle turned on the shower. When she left the bedroom with her purse and her jacket, she was pleased to hear him humming to himself as he let the jet of steamy hot water pound his muscles and wash some of his anxiety away.

* * *

Alexis was still working her way through the rest of the newspaper when Kate came out into the living space. The detective dropped her bag on the coffee table to free up both hands so that she could clip her badge onto her belt and holster her gun.

Alexis looked up at the sound of footsteps, and Kate watched her face flush with shame.

"This is harder than you thought it would be, isn't it?" asked Kate, going straight for the jugular. No pussy footing around. She took the stool next to the girl, while Alexis sullenly returned to eating her breakfast.

"What is?" she asked at length, having awkwardly managed to swallow a mouthful of muesli that felt about as dry as sawdust shavings.

"Me. Being here."

Alexis shrugged. "I asked you to stay."

"Doesn't mean you have to like it."

"You make my dad happy."

"And _he_ makes _me_ happy. But that's beside the point, if my presence here makes _you_ miserable."

Alexis bowed over her bowl of cereal, toying with the spoon in the milk. A lock of strawberry blond hair fell down into her eyes.

"He used to tell me everything," she confessed, turning sad, turquoise blue eyes on Kate. "We used to talk _all_ the time."

"This isn't just about the shooting last night, is it?"

"No, it is…_partly_…it's just…"

Alexis let out a frustrated breath, unable to find the words for once.

"Alexis, you'll be heading off to college soon. Things were always going to change. But I know me being here is making them change a whole lot faster than you would like. _So_, how about I go back to living at my place during the week, and then I come over here on weekends? That way you get your dad all to yourself for a little bit longer."

* * *

Castle was standing in his office, eavesdropping shamelessly through the open bookcase, and he had to use every ounce of self-restraint not to come barreling out into the middle of the loft waving his arms and yelling, '_Nooooooooo!_'

There was a sniper on the loose, and the guy was gunning for Kate. Hell, someone had already broken into her apartment. Now was _not_ the time for her to be living there alone, no matter how needy his daughter got. Besides, he really, _really_ didn't want to be without her.

He managed to maintain his hiding place, listening just a little longer while he buttoned up his shirt with clumsy, distracted fingers, waiting with bated breath for Alexis' reply to Kate's generous suggestion.

"I sound like a brat."

"You sound like a daughter. A daughter who's used to being the only woman in her dad's life, and you know what?"

"What?" asked Alexis, tentatively raising her eyes to Kate's.

"That's okay."

"No. No, it's _not_. I'm constantly reminding my dad that he needs to treat me like an adult, that he has to trust me. And now here I am behaving like a sulky little kid. I'm sorry, Kate. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Apology accepted. Now, about that offer…"

"No. You should stay. _Please?_ Don't leave on my account. Besides anything else, my dad would never forgive me," she laughed, a little darkly for Alexis.

* * *

Castle came striding out across the floor a split second later, his jacket thrown over his arm.

He clapped his hands together, his smile just a little too tight, a little too forced. Whether Alexis could detect it or not, Kate could certainly see what was going on.

"We…eh…don't want to be late for Captain Gates," he said, helping Kate on with her light grey jacket.

She turned to give him a look when he'd finished easing her hair out from under her collar.

"Pumpkin, how about dinner tonight?" he suggested breezily. "In or out, your choice, okay? And we can catch up then."

Alexis nodded. She seemed relieved that her dad had decided to step over this morning's little fractious exchange without insisting on a long, drawn out discussion.

"I'll call you from the Precinct later. Okay? Have a good day."

He leant down to kiss his daughter on the top of her head, and then turned to his partner.

"Kate, you all set? We'd better go."

* * *

Once they were standing out in the hallway alone, waiting for the elevator to arrive, Kate turned to look Castle. He was singing quietly to himself, his eyes cast upward to watch the illuminated floor display above the elevator door, foot tapping in time.

"You were listening to our _entire_ conversation, weren't you?" she asked, arching her eyebrow at him in displeasure.

"I don't know what you mean, Detective," replied Castle, as if butter wouldn't melt.

"Do that again, and I _will_ go home, Rick," threatened Kate, striding into the elevator ahead of him as soon as the doors slid open.

Castle rolled his eyes to the heavens, muttering '_women_' to himself, hoping that this was as bad as today would get...

_A/N: A little interlude that popped up unbidden. I'm not a huge fan of Alexis as a character on the show, as you can probably tell from this. I think she's just a little too perfect. In fact she's like a Truvia commercial if I'm honest – far too sweet and tooth-achingly annoying, just like that irritating song! So I'm hoping we see a little more friction from her in Season Five, a little more reality in her character development. Consequently, I know this chapter won't please everyone. Liv_


	62. Chapter 62 The Smallest Things

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 62 – The Smallest Things_**

It felt like the first day of school. Summer nearly over, fading into the fall, and dammit she was nervous.

Yes, Kate was experiencing the definite gnaw of nervy anticipation as they pulled up to the Precinct. But she drew comfort from the familiarity of having her partner (her lover) by her side. This was their first day back at the precinct since their status had changed, and though the boys were aware of their new relationship, they'd both agreed to keep things on the down low at work.

They piled through the doors…and the desk Sergeant was the same, the elevator looked the same, the building even smelled the same – stale sweat, stale donuts, and even staler jokes.

"That your little bitch, sweetheart?" hissed a greasy looking junkie. A serial offender with a frequent-flyer pass, peering out through the bars of the cage at them as they walked by, Castle trailing in Kate's wake as usual.

The writer paused, a retort on his lips, and Kate had to physically manhandle him to keep him moving on past. Because that was exactly the kind of attention they could do without.

"Come on, Castle. No time for that. We need to be fully up to speed before we see Gates. Lindsay Lohan back there's just gonna have to wait."

* * *

"Morning guys," said Kate, taking off her jacket and draping it over the back of her chair. "She in yet?" she asked, tilting her head towards her boss's office.

Her eyes lingered on the windows of Captain Montgomery's old office, wishing, not for the first time, that her mentor were still at the helm. Because she had a bad feeling about this morning's meeting. For all her bravado in front of Castle about them being a package deal, she was only too aware that it would take just one word from Gates, and their unorthodox, professional partnership would be over, and he would be gone from the Precinct before you could say _Miranda Rights_. Hell, her own job still hung in the balance, so she needed to get this right, for both their sakes.

"Yeah. She was already here when _I_ got in," said Ryan, looking up from his computer screen. "You guys get the summons?"

"Last night. How're we doing on the canvas follow-up?"

"We've got a list of apartments to hit up this morning. Folks who wouldn't answer the door last night or went out before we could get to them," said Ryan.

"Security footage from the bank across the street and the bodega on the corner has still to come in. TARU is gonna analyze it. They've also got some footage they shot of last night's little crowd scene for us to take a look at. See if your boy showed up to watch the firework display," said Esposito, nodding in Kate's direction.

"You think Maddox was hanging around…_watching_?" asked Castle, a frown knitting his brow, blue eyes lifted in concern towards Kate. "Because that makes it sound a lot like you don't believe _he_ was the shooter. Why would he send someone else to do his dirty work?"

"If Cole Maddox had wanted to take Beckett out in that bar last night…one shot, two max, and he'd have finished the job," said Esposito, chillingly. "That guy wants you gone, then you're _gone_," he added, snapping his fingers in front of the writer's face.

A violent shiver racked Castle's body, raising goose bumps all over his skin, and a burst of irrational anger bubbled up in his chest at Esposito's words. He wondered why on earth their friend felt the urge to be so blunt, so cavalier over the potential ease of Kate's demise. Of all of them, Castle least needed reminding how the dazzling flare from a sniper's scope and the blinding explosion of a muzzle flash could lead to devastating consequences. He'd already lived through that – up close and far too personal. Her blood on his hands, quite literally; warm and sticky and wet and ferrous, etched under his nails and in the creases of his skin, scrubbing as if it would never come off and not even sure that he wanted it to…if that was to be his last link to her.

He shook his head. That was an experience he never, ever wanted to repeat.

Kate was staring at him with concern when his eyes refocused, and he finally succeeded in boxing up the terrible memories of that pivotal day.

"Hey, uh…I don't know about you, but I could really use a coffee right now," said Kate, giving him a reassuring smile and a quick squeeze of his bicep. "Things got a little…_hectic_ at home this morning, so I'm already a cup behind."

She added the thinly veiled reference to the situation with Alexis for his ears only. The mention of _home_ meant to calm and reassure him.

Her words had the desired effect, and Castle nodded, gave Kate a grateful look before heading off to the break room to fulfill her request.

* * *

"Espo, might want to dial down the '_sniper's gonna take Kate out_' stuff in front of Castle. You know how he gets about that kind of talk. Remember Remy's?"

She referenced their lunch, when Kate and Esposito had rehashed her fight on the rooftop with Maddox, and Castle had had to leave the restaurant, unable to listen to the harrowing details any longer.

"Sorry. I'll keep it PG in future. Forgot how sensitive our boy can be."

Kate gave Esposito a displeased stare.

"He has absolutely _nothing_ to prove, not to _me,_ and certainly not to anybody else around here," she stated firmly, in defense of her partner.

"Ewww. No details, please?" moaned Ryan, covering his ears for dramatic effect. "What you guys do in the privacy of your own home is…_yeah_, so _is_ Castle's home now _your_ home, Beckett? 'Cause I've been meaning to…ask," Ryan said boldly. "And I'm guessing that's a _no_. Right, sorry," said Ryan, shrinking away from the steely glare Kate was giving him.

Esposito laughed when Kate shot Ryan down with a look, and he leaned across the desk to fist bump his partner.

All Kate could think was that she almost preferred the brief period when these two hadn't been talking to one another and tag teaming her for fun was off the menu.

"Anyway, d'you agree?" asked Esposito, seguing back to his previous point.

"About it not being Maddox?" asked Kate, trying to keep up with the jumping narrative.

Esposito nodded.

"Yeah, that struck me too. Deadly accuracy is more his signature. Last night was too close range, and too damn public."

"Anyone believe it was entirely unrelated to your mom's case? Just another random, New York bar shooting?" suggested Ryan, to head shakes in the negative from both Kate and Esposito. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he sighed. "So why send in some mope with a handgun when you can do the job more efficiently yourself with a perfectly calibrated sniper rifle from the cover of a rooftop, or a building across the street?"

"Bar's in a basement?" suggested Kate, with a shrug. "Hard to get a good angle on it unless you're at ground level or below."

Castle returned at that point carrying two cups of coffee.

"Made it a little stronger than usual," he said quietly, handing Kate one of the cups. "Thought maybe you could use it. I know I can."

"Thanks," said Kate, accepting the cup from her partner with a smile.

She cradled the white porcelain against her chest, soaking in its warmth, thinking all the while.

* * *

"We get anything back from CSU yet?"

"Espo's got preliminaries," said Ryan, nodding his head in his partner's direction as he picked up the receiver to answer his desk phone.

"We got the bullet type, make and caliber from the headstamp on the shell casings CSU recovered at the scene last night. Standard, shop-bought, manufacturer branded ammo. No after-market markings or homemade alterations. The ballistics guys are working to narrow down the weapon. Main suspects right now are Smith & Wesson M&P9 Pro Series, Sigma 9mm or a Glock 17, accounting for the seventeen round magazine capacity."

"Did they recover all of the bullets?" asked Castle. "The guy was spraying them pretty wide."

"They had to cut a margin around each of the slugs when they took them out of the doorframe, the counter and floor, in order to keep them intact. Sorry about the damage to your bar, bro," said Esposito, apologizing to the writer. "Couldn't risk damaging the bullets further by just digging them out on site."

Castle shrugged, already resigned to the damage and the battle with the insurance company that lay ahead. Catching these people was so much more important than a few missing sections of his bar. Material things could be fixed, put back together again. Kate Beckett, on the other hand, was both irreplaceable and a much more fragile target.

"We know they were hollow points. Most of them had mushroomed pretty bad. They're examining the recovered rounds for class characteristics, but that's gonna be pretty tough given the state they're in. Rifling'll be damn near impossible to see, as will chamber marks."

"Well, maybe the cartridges will give us something. Breech face marks, firing pin impressions...you never know," shrugged Kate.

* * *

Castle sat down in his regular seat beside Kate's desk, and placed his steaming cup of coffee on the pretty bare looking surface. He crossed one leg over the other, scuffing the hem of his chinos with his shoe as he did so, depositing a smear of oil on the cuff of his pants that had him cursing under his breath.

He lifted the cup of cooling coffee from Kate's desk to take a sip, noting the circular void pattern the cup left on the wooden surface. Just over a week away, and already a fine layer of dust had started to settle over everything - the empty file tray, her stapler, the desk lamp, her blotter…

He pressed his finger into the dust, gathering microscopic particles of dead skin cells, plant pollen, textile and paper fibers, human hair, meteorite particles…okay maybe not so many of those, but anyway… He lifted his finger and looked at the pad, studied the way the dust had attached itself to the ridge pattern; the unique landscape of arches, loops and whorls that made up his fingerprint, and then he rolled his finger down across the black pleather blotter like a suspect, watching as the dust adhered to the surface, making a negative impression of his print.

"Hey?"

Kate wheeled her chair closer, tapped the toe of Castle's shoe with her spiked heel.

"Yu-huh?" he grunted, still deep in thought.

"Earth to Rick. Where'd you go?" asked Kate, ducking her head to look at him, a new softness to her gaze that he'd never witnessed around the Precinct before.

They were going to be terrible at this, he could sense it, keeping their feelings hidden.

"Huh? Oh, just thinking," said Castle, a puzzled, thoughtful look on his face. The one Kate was used to seeing right before a crazy hypothesis popped out of his mouth.

"_And_…you get anywhere with that thinking?" she teased, touching her index finger to his knee.

Kate was flirting with him, consciously or unconsciously he wasn't sure, but it took every ounce of discipline he had to stop himself from giving in and joining her.

"On the sidewalk last night…"

_Oh here we go_, thought Kate, a little thrill of anticipation running through her.

"...we were pretty sure we knew almost _exactly_ where the shooter was standing, right? Both from the pattern of ejected shell casings and the blood droplets CSU tracked away from the lamppost and towards the curb, when he threw himself into the back of that SUV?"

"Yeah? _So?_"

"Well, it's been really hot and dry lately, after the storm last Tuesday," he said, giving Kate a pointed look which raised a pleasant blush on both their cheeks. "_Anyway,_" he shook his head to get back to his point, dragging his wandering mind away from the wonder of making love to his partner for the very first time. "I couldn't help but notice the dust and debris that had gathered in the gutter and the storm drain outside The Old Haunt."

"And what's your point?"

"It was damp."

"Damp?"

"Yes. The full length of The Old Haunt's frontage was wet because Charlie always washes down the sidewalk at six-thirty, when he comes on shift."

"I…I'm sorry, but I seem to be missing something. Am I being exceptionally slow this morning because…?"

"No. Bear with me. It's a little obscure, a little out of left field. But what if the shooter was dropped off at the curb when he arrived at the bar?"

"Be easier that walking down the street and risking being remembered or having your face show up on any number of security cameras, I guess."

"_That_, yes, but there's a bigger point to being dropped off."

"Oh," said Kate, covering her mouth with her hand. "We took your car service to get to the bar…if he was following us he had to have got there by car too."

"_Exactly_, and what else do you remember about the time we were dropped off?"

"Eh, it was just after seven o'clock and…"

Kate looked to Castle to fill in the blanks.

"Joel had to drop us off in the middle of the street because the sidewalk was blocked by parked cars. Remember the queue of traffic that built up behind us? The impatient guy who started honking?"

Kate nodded, visualizing the scene.

"_So_…" she began slowly, "that would have meant that the shooter was somewhere back in that snarl up."

"And when he exited the car, he would have had to have made his way between the parked cars just like we did."

"Trailing through the dirt that had washed into the gutter," finished Kate.

"And the large patch of oil that had drained out on the roadway."

"Oil?"

"Yeah, from a cracked sump or a leaky oil pan. I just got some on my pants. Forgot all about it 'til just now. I must have tracked through it last night."

Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

"I left my shoes by the front door, if you remember?"

"At least Martha has you well trained," teased Kate.

Castle coughed indignantly. "You got _that_ round the wrong way for starters."

"So, back to your dirty…I mean, dirt theory, please?"

"Okay, so I'm thinking that if we can get sole impressions from the sidewalk, then maybe it'll help us track him down. But more importantly, we'll be able to get an approximate height from his shoe size, and since you already know how tall Maddox is…"

"Ryan, call CSU. Get someone down to The Old Haunt. We need them to look for shoe impressions on the sidewalk, exactly where the shooter was standing. Next to that lamppost. There's an oily residue right out front, and the dirt on the roadway was damp last night. There could be an impression, possibly trace. It's a real long shot but…" Kate shrugged, "…in for a penny."

* * *

"Detective Beckett?"

Captain Gates' voice cut clear across the bullpen, the woman it belonged to seeming to have materialized out of nowhere as usual.

"My office, please?"

"You go. Go," said Castle, with a reassuring nod. "We'll keep on top of things out here."

Kate wished she felt as confident as Castle sounded, and Castle wished he felt half as confident as he was trying to appear for Kate's sake. She nodded gratefully, collected her folder, and walked towards Gates' office.

Their entire partnership would be determined by whatever was said in the next five minutes. She couldn't afford to let him down.

_A/N: Slipped the title of 5x01 in there. I'm going to keep the author's notes spoiler free from now on, in deference to those readers who want to remain in the dark. Unlike me, of course, since I'm freaking out every time a new photo comes out! Sneak peaks would be great this week ABC. Just sayin'. ;) Have a restful Sunday everyone. Liv_


	63. Chapter 63 A Political Animal

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 63 – A Political Animal_**

"Detective, please take a seat," said Victoria Gates, holding out her hand to indicate one of the two chairs sitting opposite her desk.

Kate took the left hand one, the one nearest the door, the one that wasn't ordinarily occupied by Castle. His absence from the room was made all the more glaring by the presence of the vacant chair, taunting her from the periphery of her vision. '_Where's your partner?'_ it seemed to say…and now she was talking to inanimate objects. Just great!

She felt entirely unprepared for this meeting, as if she should have spent the last week coming up with a speech, when she may as well have spent it doing nothing more than reading Nikki Heat fanfiction. Her mind was a crazy jumble of half-formed arguments, useless apologies, and way, way too much Richard Castle.

"Sir, I…" she blurted, not really knowing what came next, just knowing that she needed to fill the silence in the Captain's office with…something.

"Detective, did you call this meeting?" purred Gates, arching one ridiculously articulated eyebrow at her.

"No, sir, I uh…"

"Then I think you had better listen, don't you?" suggested Gates, though a suggestion was the last thing that it was, and they both knew it.

"I have been contacted by One P.P.," she stated, resulting in a deadly stiffening of Kate's posture. "It seems that you have…hmm…how to put it?" she pondered, or pretended to, because Kate was pretty sure this woman never opened her mouth without knowing all the answers first, or at least the right question to ask.

"Caught someone's eye," she finally settled on. "Someone fairly senior, I have to say. _And_, as a result, there is to be renewed effort put into solving your mother's murder."

Kate froze. Her mouth went dry and her heart started hammering. She could actually hear the blood pounding in her ears; a whooshing sound as her heart completed its cycle. Right atrium to right ventricle for oxygenation, and then back from the lungs to the left atrium, passing out into the body via the left ventricle and aorta, valves opening and closing every eight-tenths of a second.

Opening, closing, opening, closing, closing, closing…if she could just close this case…

"Detective?"

Gates looked a little concerned when Kate finally looked up and made eye contact with her again.

"I…uh…sorry. Yes?" she stammered, knitting her brow into a frown.

Kate shook her head, tried to clear the muggy slowness from the thinking. Her mind was dragging her in so many different directions all at once that she may as well not having been thinking at all. Memories, long repressed hopes, pain, fear, recent developments, a ton of facts, and a barely conceivable fantasy future…all of these things flooded her brain concurrently, making her reel with the enormity of what this might mean for her, for her dad, for Castle.

"Sir, you said someone senior. Are we talking someone in the NYPD or…?"

Gates shook her head, a slow smile developing on her lips.

"I thought that might be your main concern. No, this is not one of Mr. Castle's string-pulling maneuvers, _I know a man who knows a man_, so to speak."

Kate ignored her boss' mocking tone.

"What then?"

"It's more…_political_ than that, I'm afraid."

"Afraid? You're afraid…of what? What does that mean?"

"It means that, in my opinion, politics and the law make uneasy bedfellows, Detective Beckett. But you don't have to take my word for it. History is littered with examples of justice denied for the sake of some political expediency or other. However, it is also my opinion that if anyone can walk the tightrope required to leverage the best out of this new state of affairs, then it is _you_."

Gates pointed right at Kate's chest across the desk to underline her viewpoint.

"I watched the way you handled the Mayor Weldon situation very closely. Your loyalty to Mr. Castle and his to the Mayor was a test of your allegiance to this badge and to your pursuit of justice, and I have to say that I was impressed by your ability to juggle those concerns to everyone's satisfaction. You are a political animal, Detective, whether you think of yourself as one or not. As am I."

"My loyalty to the badge seemed to be in question the last time I stood in this office," Kate reminded Captain Gates.

"Indeed," said the woman dryly, her lips pursed in distaste at the memory. "And my view on your handling of that situation has not changed. You went out on a limb by keeping that information to yourself, dragging Detectives Esposito and Ryan with you, exposing them to the same risks and dangers you yourself deemed acceptable. Risks that were foolhardy at best, potentially lethal and definitely against department protocol at worst."

"So…where does that leave us?" asked Kate, somewhat puzzled by the twists and turns of the conversation.

"I have decided to overlook your transgression for the time being. You have been docked a week's leave, and I will review any further punishment once this case is completed. You are to attend a briefing at the offices of Senator Randall Stinson. You and your team will also be taking over the investigation into the murder of Michael Mason from the Nineteen Precinct, the former owner of the venture capital fund, Draco LLC."

Kate's head was definitely spinning now.

"What about Detective Howard?"

"Leave Detective Howard to me. I have had assurances from his Captain that the files you require will be ready by this afternoon. Take Mr. Castle, and go and collect them."

Kate's heart did a double somersault at the mention of her partner's name.

"I want the case file reviewed and a summary report on my desk first thing tomorrow. Arrange to visit the crime scene, re-interview the housekeeper, talk to the coroner, and order up any additional tests you think you might need from CSU. I will sign off on any requests, by-passing the backlog at the lab."

"Sir, you said Senator Stinson, as in the same Senator Randall Stinson who counted Michael Mason amongst his largest campaign contributors?"

Gates nodded in the affirmative. "That is correct."

"Do we know why he's involved, or even interested in this case? I mean aside from the fact that one of his political supporters was murdered?"

"Do you need a better reason than that, detective?"

Kate looked at her boss with a steady gaze, though her mind was still contorting itself in knots at the ramifications of the last five minutes.

"Beckett, I find that it's best not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. I know that this case has haunted you for the last thirteen years. I know that it had been the making of you, and was almost the complete undoing of you too. Take what is being offered here. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Let me play gatekeeper for a change, and trust that this offer is genuine, well-meant, serious and sincere."

Kate nodded, her top lip drawn between her teeth, so many questions flirting with her brain, trying to get out. But she rose from the chair instead, feeling the meeting had come to a natural end. Gates was not one for small talk, and if Kate was reading the signs right, then her audience with the Captain was over for now.

"Thank you, sir. I'll bear that in mind. You'll have that report tomorrow morning," she promised.

Kate had her hand on the doorknob and was twisting the cool brass handle when Gates voice stopped her from completing the action.

"Oh, and detective?"

She turned back, her heart sinking, thinking '_this is it, the coup de grace_'.

"Yes, sir?"

"You and Mr. Castle make a good team. Do not make me regret keeping him on. I see anything inappropriate in my Precinct, and he _will_ be gone. Friend of the Mayor or not. Understand?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, sir, I do."

"Then we're done here. Watch your back out there, detective. Let's close this case to everyone's satisfaction."

Kate gave Gates the ghost of a smile and received one in return, an exchange of respect that bounced like sonar across the room and back.

"Thank you, sir," she said. Finally leaving the office, more shell-shocked and unnerved than when she'd gone in.

_A/N: Two Mondays to go! Short update, but I hope you liked Gates. She's a sweetie really…well, unless you're Richard Castle. ;) Liv_


	64. Chapter 64 Panning For Gold

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 64 – Panning For Gold_**

Kate headed back to her desk in something of a dissociative state. Her body was running point, while her mind was elsewhere; spinning from the enormity of the few simple facts Gates had just shared with her.

The eyes of her team and her partner were on her the minute she left the glassed-in office, tracking her progress back across the bullpen towards them, trying to read the blank, inwardly absorbed expression on her face that was giving them nothing to go on.

"You okay? What'd she say?" asked Ryan, pacing towards her then dancing round her, eager as a pup.

"Could someone get me coffee?" she said, sinking down heavily into her chair, automatically turning unfocused eyes on Castle. "Please? And then I'll try to explain…"

"That bad, huh?" asked Castle, his face falling, hope draining away as his stomach dropped to the floor.

Because if Kate looked like this then it couldn't be good.

"Kinda the worst case scenario we envisioned?" he continued, not picking up on her desperate '_get me coffee now'_ vibe at all. "Like, am I even allowed into the break room anymore, bad?"

"_Castle!_" snapped Kate, sharper than she intended. Then softening her tone she said, "Look, let's just _all_ go into the break room, and I'll explain everything there."

* * *

So the little band of four trudged off to the break room. Castle brewed coffee for everyone, needing to stay occupied, while Kate opened her folder and began scribbling a long list of notes, her pen flying fast and furious across the paper as if she simply had to get this stuff down before she forgot it all. Her free hand tensed and loosened, fingers dancing in time to the silent commentary her lips were making every time she harvested a new thought and poured it out onto the page in her neat, scholarly hand.

Finally, they were seated around the table; all three boys more quiet and attentive than Kate thought she had ever seen them. Well, when she finally looked up from her notepad long enough to even notice that was.

She studied all three faces, one at a time, until Castle was about ready to burst with anticipation; squirming in his seat like a little kid on the verge of an embarrassing bathroom incident.

"Beckett," he finally gasped. "_What?_"

"It was...totally weird. Not what I was expecting at all," she said, as if talking to herself, shaking her head at facts she had yet to share with her team.

The three men stared at her with mounting frustration, still none the wiser.

"Care to share the _details_ of this weirdness with the class, Beckett? 'Cause I'm pretty sure Castle's the only one with the ability to read your mind, and even _he_ looks like his Jedi powers might be failing him today," said Ryan, turning to eyeball the antsy writer.

"Sorry, I'm just a little…this is _a lot_. Whew! Okay. So, she told me that someone senior, high ranking, has taken an interest in my mom's case, and that there's to be a renewed push to solve it."

"Someone senior?" asked Castle, immediately intrigued by who this someone might be, while equally wondering who on earth had better contacts than him.

Kate laughed. "Yeah, that's exactly the same question I asked first too."

"You guys are totally sickening," muttered Esposito, taking a swig of his coffee and then shaking his head. "Even when you're not in the same meeting you're dreaming up the same questions. That takes weird to a whole new level, even for you two."

"Shut up, Espo," said Kate, feeling some of the tension drain out of her, and a giddy high take over now that she had her team to share this stuff with.

"So, did she tell you?" asked Ryan, "Who this mysterious someone senior is?"

"Yeah, she did. It's Senator Randall Stinson."

"Not…?" asked Castle.

"The very same," nodded Kate, giving him an '_I know, what about that_' look.

"Sorry, dudes, dudes. You guys kinda lost me at '_Senator_'," said Esposito, trying to get their attention.

"Oh…yeah. Sorry. Forgot you weren't around for the meeting with Evelyn. Michael Mason, the murdered guy from the Upper East Side that Castle knows as Mr. Smith, was a big contributor to Senator Stinson's election campaign."

"Right, and so this Senator guy is helping you out because…?"

"His friend was murdered, and they obviously think the two cases are linked. I've got a briefing at the Senator's office tomorrow. So I should learn more then."

Castle nodded, soaking up all of this new information, feeling inordinately pleased for Kate, but wondering where he fit in the grand scheme of things, since she hadn't mentioned their partnership yet, and he didn't want to push the point and risk coming off sounding selfish and self-obsessed.

"Where's all this coming from?" asked Castle, trying to wrap his head around the '_why now'_ of it all.

"One P.P. apparently. And the other big news…"

"There's _more?_" asked Castle, wondering if this was it coming now; his marching orders from the precinct.

"We're taking over the investigation into Michael Mason's murder."

"From Detective Howard?" asked Ryan, sounding surprised.

Kate nodded.

"Karpowski's gonna be gutted. Think they were using that case to renew an old…uh _friendship_," he muttered, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Well, I'm sorry to stomp all over Karpowski's love life, but those are my instructions. Castle, you and I are going up to the Nineteenth this afternoon. I've been promised the files will be ready for us by then."

"_Me?_" he asked, jabbing his thumb towards his chest, and then looking over his shoulder to check Kate really meant him.

Kate laughed; just assuming he was clowning around.

"How many other Castles do you know? Because I believe Lanie's keeping Alexis pretty busy in the morgue."

"So…so I can stay?" he asked, a note of wonder in his voice.

"_Stay?_" asked Kate, a little confused by his question until… "Oh! Oh God, Rick, you thought... I'm sorry, she just wanted to make sure that we uh…hell, never mind. I'll explain it in the car on the way uptown," said Kate, slanting her eyes towards the two male detectives.

"No need to mime. We get it. Mom and dad don't want to discuss grown-up stuff in front of the kids," said Ryan, earning himself a soft chuckle from Kate.

"Anything else come up while I was in there with Gates?" asked Kate.

"TARU came through. We got footage from outside The Old Haunt," offered Esposito. "Wanna watch a little TV?"

* * *

So they gathered around the large screen in the conference room. Ryan handled the tech stuff, while the rest of them arranged themselves on tables and chairs dotted around the room.

Castle was desperate to get Kate alone so that he could hear the rest of her discussion with Gates. He wondered if their relationship had come up at all, and what Kate thought about getting a second chance at finding her mother's killer, backed by help all the way from the State Senator's office. His head was filing up with questions. But he knew that would have to wait until they got in the car to head uptown.

He just wasn't that good at waiting.

* * *

The footage was dark and a little grainy. Technical Assistance had arrived on scene around a quarter to eight, and the sun had set about fifteen minutes before that, leaving the street cast in a dusky purple, illuminated at first by the narrow pool of light cast by the street lamps alone, supplemented later by CSU's portable LED scene lighting. A sizeable crowd had gathered around the perimeter of the crime scene as soon as the immediate threat of shooting was over, people seeming to spill out of the woodwork in the wake of the drama.

They poured over the footage slowly, pausing every time one of them called a halt, asking to review a section of the digital recoding over again to re-check a face or account for some strange behavior or other.

That was the thing about crime scenes; their ability to make people react to circumstances completely to type. So long as there was action and activity, or the promise of some to come, then people stayed to gawk and to gossip. Human beings were a naturally curious breed, but one that needed increasing levels of titillation in these media driven, internet based times. So as soon as things became routine or repetitious in any way, or images failed to shock or surprise, people quickly lost interest and drifted away. What you were left with was the hard core; little nuggets of gold, glinting in the bottom of the pan.

At a crime scene, in a city legendary for its citizens' isolation and dislike of fraternization with fellow New Yorkers, neighbors talked to neighbors and passing strangers to passing strangers in a way they would never ordinarily countenance on a Manhattan street after dark.

So crime scenes were unifying by their very nature. Though they also set the victim of the crime apart from everybody else. The victim and the perp, they were in a class of their own; separated off from the pack by tragedy, ring fenced for fear of tainting the rest of humanity with their misfortune.

There but for the grace of God…

* * *

Kate's team hunted the outskirts of the scene, looking for the loner in the shadows, the guy who was watching but didn't want to engage, didn't want to share the frisson of excitement and speculation with the rest of the herd. The guy whose focus was absolute - no restlessness, no ambivalence, just pure, determined concentration. The nugget of gold.

They'd trawled through a good thirty minutes of stop-start viewing, and Kate was losing hope, her eyes starting to smart and water from staring too long at the screen.

"We have no idea if this guy is even… _Wait!_ Ryan, run it back. That guy there. Him, with the baseball cap," she said, her right hand automatically coming up to her chest, fingers seeking out the wound between her breasts, soothing the phantom burn in the seared skin with a light pressure she'd recently learned from Castle. Oh that man and his talented hands.

Her heart rate spiked at the very first sight of him, the familiar outline, the height, the build, all of that, but more, much, much more. This guy had a presence only she had experienced up close. He was no nervous, edgy little street villain or arsonist getting his perverted kicks from watching the aftermath of his handiwork. No, this guy was a professional. He stood ramrod straight, exuding a ruthless kind of invincibility as he took everything in; dissected the scene, observed the key players, followed the experts and their protocols with a trained eye. Then he turned and looked straight at the camera, just a second or two, but his stare was unmistakable, too focused to be an accident, too direct to be anything less than a challenge. And then he was gone, disappeared into the night like an apparition, leaving no trace. Only a digital timestamp in full color HD, and an afterimage dancing on Kate Beckett's tired retinas.

* * *

"It's him," said Kate clearly. "Cole Maddox was _right there, watching,_ and we never knew. _Dammit_," she cursed, bringing the flat of her hand down hard against the conference room table with a loud slap that must have stung like a bitch.

"You sure?" asked Castle, getting up to go and sit beside her on the tabletop, his thigh accidently brushing hers, neither of them caring anymore.

"Build's the same, height, everything," agreed Esposito. "Face is a little hard to see with the cap n' all, but…I'd have to agree with Beckett. Sure looks a lot like him."

"Looks a lot like?" asked Castle. "Are we sure that's enough…?"

"It's _him_," repeated Kate, her tone colder, her voice more determined this time.

"Then it's him. If you say it's him, it's him. End of," said Castle, holding up his hands in deference. "At least we can rule out the random bar shooting theory."

"Castle, no one actually believed that theory," sighed Kate, not unkindly, merely stating a fact as she rubbed a hand across the back of her neck, massaging tight muscles.

"I kind of hoped," he confessed, dropping his gaze from the dead-eyed stare of Cole Maddox, frozen on the screen in front of him to his own hands, lying motionless in his lap.

"Yeah, well, hope's a wonderful thing, but not nearly as useful as certainty," said Kate, a world-weary, cynical edge to her voice.

She took one last look at the screen and then pushed up off the table.

* * *

"Get screen grabs from this," she told Ryan, jerking her thumb towards the frozen image of Maddox. "Have the duty sergeant to pass them round the squad room at the next shift briefing, and email them to tech. Get him added to the department wanted list. Espo, help him write a person specification; all the physical stats we have and a profile of his background based on the little we know."

Castle stood up too, stretched his back expansively, drawing Kate's attention for a couple of awkward seconds until she snapped out of it, forcing her eyes away from the span of his abs when his shirt rode up.

"Right…it's past noon now," she said, checking her dad's watch. "How about we grab an early lunch, and then we'll go collect those files while we're out?" Kate suggested to her partner. "Guys, we'll see you in an hour or so. Call if anything comes up."

Castle didn't have to be asked twice. He followed Kate back to her desk to get her bag and her jacket, and then he tailed her to the elevator in silence.

When the doors closed on the homicide floor and they were finally alone, Kate reached out her hand, sliding her fingers into the warmth of her partner's palm and gripping hard as a shuddering exhale escaped her lips.

"It's coming, Castle. It's finally coming," she said, turning to lift her eyes to his. "The end. I can feel it."

_A/N: Stills for After The Storm are out people! Spoiler free gang – stay away from the Internet! Thanks for the reviews to the last chapter. Seems Gates has a few fans out there. Liv_


	65. Chapter 65 You're The Yin To My Yang

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 65 – You're the Yin to my Yang_**

"Want me to drive?" asked Castle, when Kate paused on the sidewalk outside the precinct, her hand hovering half way to her pocket.

"Oh, I forgot. I need to pick my car up from the motor pool. Can't ride around Manhattan on police business in your Ferrari, Castle."

Her partner looked crestfallen.

"Come on. How'd it look if we turned up at the Nineteenth in that thing?" asked Kate.

"_That thing?_ Okay. On behalf of _my_ _car_, I am now _officially_ offended."

Kate swatted him playfully on the arm. "You know what I mean. What would it look like?"

"Like we have way better toys than they do?" he suggested, with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Castle, I know you're not a cop, so there's no way you would be expected to understand this. But when a case gets taken off you and handed to another precinct, for whatever reason, it feels like you just got told in front of everyone that you're not good enough. Sure you might be relieved to get rid of it, especially it's a political hot potato that's caught the eye of the higher ups, but you still can't shake the feeling that it's because you did something wrong, or worse still, that you didn't do enough."

"You think that's how Howard's gonna react today?"

"I honestly have no idea. But we have to prepare ourselves for a bit of animosity, rivalry even. Just don't expect the red carpet treatment is all I'm saying."

"So, losing the Ferrari might be a good idea?"

"Now you're catching on. You wait here. I'll get the keys from Motor and be right out."

* * *

So Castle waited out on the sidewalk in front of a row of squad cars and bland looking, dark colored, unmarked Crown Vics, soaking up the early afternoon sunshine. He took off his jacket and slung it over his arm, paced a little to the right and then turned back to walk left, nodding at a couple of cops whose faces he knew by sight.

In the small park across the street, a flash of light caught his attention, a glint of sunlight on glass, and he shifted his head towards the light source in an instant, eyes panning the vicinity, heart rate notching up a level, waiting for a repeat of the flare. Nothing. He checked his watch, looked again. Still nothing. Then he resumed his pacing for sixty seconds, coming back to pause in the exact same spot. Hitting the mark a fresh wad of bubblegum had left on the sidewalk, he raised his eyes to the park again. Still nothing. Whatever it was had gone.

Whatever it was.

* * *

"Ready to go?" asked Kate, bounding out of the front entrance, galloping down the steps towards him waving her keys in the air and sounding a little breathless.

She made a truly beautiful sight.

"Sure," said Castle carefully, getting into the passenger side of Kate's unit.

He had one last look across the street, and then he shook his head, telling himself it was nothing more than a shaft of sunlight and his overactive imagination. Cole Maddox wouldn't be stupid enough to stalk a cop outside her own precinct house.

Lunch was a quick and dirty affair: burgers at a little diner in Midtown. Kate had wanted to sit outside, but Castle persuaded her to take a table indoors. He'd pitched for the relief of the air conditioning, when in reality, the flash he'd seen across from the precinct was lingering at the back of his mind, making anywhere outdoors feel too exposed after the crime scene footage they'd just spent the morning viewing.

He argued with himself over whether or not to tell her. _He_ had been the one to insist on the _no secrets policy_ after all, but…

"It must be killing you, right?" laughed Kate, the jostle of her arm against his ending the moral mind game he was playing with himself.

"Killing me?" he asked, looking at her blankly.

"Oh, you're getting too good at this," she teased, not realizing that he really had no clue what she was talking about. "But try any harder and your poker face might just stay like that, Castle," she said, pinching his cheeks affectionately.

They got seated at a table by the window, and ordered right away. Kate was anxious to get her hands on Mason's file and get over to the murder scene.

"So, aren't you going to ask me?" she teased again, once their food was placed in front of them.

Castle picked up a fry, tempted Kate with it to buy himself time, and then he snapped up the crispy morsel himself, mesmerized by the pink tip of his girlfriend's tongue that was protruding from between her teeth in anticipation of the food he'd just been tormenting her with.

"_Hey!_" objected Kate, reaching over to snag a couple of his fries for herself in revenge for his teasing.

"I told you to order your own," he scolded gently, moving the red plastic basket out of her reach.

"But yours always taste so much better," she grinned, attempting to flirt more food out of him.

"So, Gates," he said, giving in and pushing the paper lined basket towards his partner.

"Finally!" exclaimed Kate, checking her watch. "That's like a whole two and a half hours, Castle. That must be some new kind of record for you."

"Yeah, very funny, Kate. I can quite easily withdraw your food supply if you don't…"

"Okay," she held up her hands in surrender. "What do you want to know?"

"Uh…_everything_," he said, as if her question was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard.

"Fine. Well, you already know about the Senator and taking over Mason's case."

"Wait. How'd you really _feel_ about all of this? This sudden offer of help from on high? Doesn't it make you feel bitter than these guys could have been helping you all along, and instead they left you twisting in the wind looking for clues while you put yourself in danger trying to solve your mom's case by yourself? And now suddenly one of their own gets killed and they decide they need your help?"

"I'm tired of feeling bitter, Castle. I spent so many years wondering _why_ _me_, why _us_, why _my _family, _my _mom? And do you know what? It did me no good at all. Got me nowhere. My mom was still _dead_, my dad was still a recovering alcoholic, and I was still a cop looking for answers. Being bitter, baring grudges, got me nowhere. It just made living that much less palatable."

Kate looked up from her burger to find Castle sitting so still in his seat, eyes trained on her like she knew they would be. She stretched out her hand to cover his where it rested on the tabletop.

"Until I met you, that is. You made life fun again, Castle. Taught me to take myself less seriously, that I could still pursue the truth while having a life of my own. I owe you so much for that," she said, squeezing his hand, and then withdrawing her own to her lap as she looked back down at her food.

The moment of honesty over, her hair fell forward over her face to shield the blush that had risen on her cheeks, and she toyed with a slice of pickle she'd pushed to the edge of her plate.

"You fixed me too you know. Just in a different way. You needed to cut loose a little, but I needed to grow up…_a lot_. We're each other's yin-yang, Kate. Shadow and light."

Kate smiled across at her partner.

"A perfect fit," she said, stealing another of his fries while he was distracted by the look she was giving him.

"You can say _that_ again," he grinned, sending her a suggestive look. "Though if you keep eating my food…"

He let the look on her face make his point for him.

"Are you saying I'll get _fat_, Richard Castle? 'Cause I don't think you want to go there."

Castle spluttered. "Does that mean you think I'm…"

"Sexy and adorable," said Kate, cutting his indignant exclamation off when she shoved another couple of his fries into his mouth.

"What about Gates?" he asked, returning to their earlier discussion while he picked aimlessly at his burger.

"Well, _sexy_ and _adorable_ weren't the _exact_ words she used to describe you," said Kate, smiling at Castle's sudden outburst of laughter. "But she did say we made a good team. We just have to keep the touchy-feely stuff out of the precinct or she'll deep six you for good this time."

"_I_ can do that. Not sure about _you_ though," he teased, laughing at Kate's derisive snort.

"I think I'll manage somehow," Kate smirked. "We kept our hands to ourselves for four years, Castle. We can do it again if it means getting to work together everyday, right?"

"Deal," said Castle, clinking his plastic water glass against Kate's.

* * *

They left the diner and drove the handful of blocks north to the Nineteenth Precinct, which was situated on East Sixty-Seventh Street between Third and Forth Avenues. Kate asked Castle to stay in the car, explaining that it might cause less friction if she went in alone. Having your homicide case taken over by another detective was one thing. Losing it to a civilian investigator might just tip Detective Howard over the edge.

But she was gone only a short time before his phone began to ring.

"Kate?"

"Detective Howard wants to give us a debrief. Can you come in here and join us for a minute? We'll be waiting for you in the lobby," said Kate. "Oh, and Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to lock up the car and bring the keys with you. Wouldn't do to have our car stolen first day back on the job."

"Right. See you inside."

Castle jogged the half block to get to the Nineteenth Precinct building, a classic grey granite and red brick façade, a remnant of old New York, now bounded behind by a modern, grey, characterless, office building.

Kate and a short guy with a friendly face and a rumpled looking suit, aged somewhere in his late forties, stood waiting from him in the hallway of the precinct house.

"Detective Howard, I'd like you to meet my partner, Richard Castle. Rick, this is Detective Howard," said Kate, making the introductions.

"Please, call me Ernie," said Howard, sticking out his pudgy hand towards the writer and giving it a mighty firm shake.

He ushered his two guests up to the homicide floor, dragging an extra chair up to his own desk, and then gesturing for them to sit.

"I'd offer you coffee, but it's honestly not worth the heartburn," said Howard, without any hint of humor.

He drew a large brown bankers box across the desk towards them. "This is all I have. Witness statement from the housekeeper. Autopsy report, statements from the first on scene, CSU's analysis, ballistics report, my own Fives, and notes on the sweet F.A. our Uniforms got from canvassing the building. Sometimes I think the richer they get, the deafer they seem to get," he added dryly.

"You hit a bit of a brick wall on this one?" asked Kate, lifting the lid on the box and peering inside.

"Yeah, could say that. Other than the hit in AFIS we got on the partial under the desk lamp, the scene was clean. You guys have run into this ghost before, I understand?"

"I have, yes, literally," said Kate, drawing a look from Castle. "We just placed him at another crime scene this morning in fact. A bar shooting downtown. So all of this stuff is gonna be really helpful when we finally catch up with him, and make the case to put him away."

"We never recovered the round at the scene, you know, Detective," said Ernie Howard, stroking his chin. "So I've been working on the assumption that this was some kind of a professional hit, for the shooter to take time to clean up after himself like that. Shooting the guy in the head at point blank range."

"Did you find any sign of where the slug might have lodged? Maybe he dug it out of a wall or the woodwork when he was done?"

"Nah. Nada. That was the freak of it all. Ballistics did their thing with the laser-guided gizmo 'n' all. Tracked the trajectory out the back of the guy's skull…and nothin'. It's as if the goddamn bullet up and disappeared after it did its thing."

Castle hazarded a glance at Kate, but she dared not turn to look at him, lest the words '_ice bullet_' pop out of his mouth in front of this old school detective.

"Well, unless there's anything else you can tell us, we'll just take this stuff and be out of your hair?" offered Kate.

"Only other thing is this," said Howard, opening up his desk drawer and removing a spiral notebook. He flipped a few pages over and then turned it towards Kate. "I got a call a couple of days after the shooting. Voice on the other end says '_if you know what's good for you, you won't look too hard'_, and then they hung up. I thought it was just some crank calling. Didn't even know if they meant this case or not. I've got like four open cases on my plate right now, so…" he shrugged. "Could be somethin', could be nothin'."

"And I take it you got nowhere ID'ing the caller?"

"Came through the main switch. No way to trace it. Voice was male, maybe mid-thirties to early forties, no real identifiable accent. He was polite, curt even, and then he hung up. I told my Captain. But he decided it was too vague to even warrant a mention on the DD5. Just thought I'd mention it in case the same thing happens to you."

"Well, thanks," said Kate, tearing off the sheet of notepaper and adding it to the box. "Appreciate the heads up."

* * *

Castle lifted the banker's box after shaking Ernie Howard's hand, and then the Detective escorted the two partners back to the elevator.

"Tell Roselyn I said hi, won't you?" said Howard, shaking Kate's hand with a hint of longing in his eye and a faint blush on his cheeks.

"We sure will," said Castle, shooting the man a beaming smile. "She said to send her best to you, by the way," he lied, as Kate shoved him forward into the open elevator.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, waving at a delighted and far too hopeful looking Ernie Howard before the doors closed.

"Just a little matchmaking. Giving back to the universe, Kate, for bringing us together. Karma can be a wonderful thing, you know."

"And meddling in other people's love lives has a way of coming back and biting you on the ass, _you know_."

"I'll gladly bite you on the…"

"Rick," hissed Kate, as the doors slid open at ground level, and a wall of blue stood before them.

_A/N: Sneak Peeks! Oh sweet ABC. Thank you. Not saying anymore. But you have to know it's killing me to keep my mouth shut, spoiler free people! ;) Liv_


	66. Chapter 66 Art Appreciation

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 66 – Art Appreciation_**

Michael Mason's apartment reeked of serious money. In fact, if money were a piece of real estate, then this would be it. From the fancy planters full of colorful blooms on the sidewalk out front, to the lobby with its gilded, crystal chandeliers and uniformed staff, and from the richly carpeted hallways, to the mahogany and brass-lined elevator that delivered guests directly to his apartment - not his _floor_, his _actual_ apartment – _this_ was some serious moolah.

The building was definitely old school. Old money, old world manners, and some good old crusty neighbors to boot. Deaf and blind ones too, just as Detective Howard had warned them. Because when it came to the witnessing of a crime, every single one claimed to have seen or heard nothing. The three wise monkeys of the Upper East Side.

Kate got the doorman to unlock the elevator so they could travel up to Michael Mason's floor, and then they ducked under the crime scene tape to get into the apartment itself. The doorman hovered in the elevator behind them, until Kate reassured him that he could go back to his post. He seemed reluctant to leave them there alone until she asked him to send up her two colleagues as soon as they arrived, and then, having been given something important to do, he quite happily left them to it.

* * *

"Who lives in place like this?" mimicked Castle, doing a good job of sending up British TV presenter, David Frost.

Kate gave him a puzzled look.

"_What?_ You telling me you've never watched '_Through the Keyhole?_'? Where they'd go into celebrities' homes and snoop around with a camera, and then you'd have to guess who lived there from the clues they showed you?"

Kate shook her head. "From what you know of me, Castle, does that _sound_ like something I'd watch?" she asked dryly, her hands on her hips.

"Well, I think it's high time I upgraded your viewing habits, Ms. Beckett. Real Housewives of New York? Millionaire Matchmaker? Pawn Stars? Any of those ringing any bells?"

Kate shook her head again, her lips pursed to hold back a grin. "Alarm bells, maybe," she muttered to herself.

"Then Operation Corrupt Kate Beckett has just begun," said Castle, laughing like a maniacal madman.

"Okay, enough with the TV Guide. Let's just…_try _to focus on the crime scene, shall we?"

* * *

Kate headed straight for the study, following the basic apartment layout Detective Howard had drawn up when he'd first visited the scene the morning the body was discovered.

"Holy Cannoli, if that isn't a Monet," said Castle, pointing at the chocolate box, impressionist painting of water lilies that was hanging over the stone fireplace.

The painting's gilt frame made the artwork stand out vibrantly against the room's blood red walls.

"And a _Vermeer_," squeaked the writer, covering his mouth with his hand to suppress the little noise of supreme excitement he emitted, before he set about pacing the room, wandering from wall to wall checking out the art as if it were The Met.

"Castle, we get that the guy had money and expensive taste in art. Can we just get on with the investigation so we have half a chance of finding something before the guys get here?"

Castle sobered up when he turned to look at the opposite wall and came face-to-face with the desk where Michael Mason, aka Mr. Smith, had been shot. Here was the spot where Smith had died, a bullet to the brain ending his life. The man who, albeit in a slightly twisted way, had tried to keep Kate safe that past year.

"So this is where he died?" he said, not really asking Kate a question, more commenting out loud.

"Looks like, yeah."

The sound of the elevator doors opening out in the hall, and then a low rumble of voices and accompanying footsteps alerted them to the arrival of the rest of the team.

Castle was kneeling on the floor in front of the desk, trying to bring himself closer to Mason's height when seated, when Ryan and Esposito entered the room.

"You resorted to praying for answers now, bro?" asked Esposito. "Magic not working anymore?"

"Yeah, things get _that_ bad, man?"chipped in Ryan.

"_No_," said Castle, indignantly. "I'm trying to get closer to Mason's eyeline when he was shot.

"This is some place," said Ryan, his voice filled with wonder as wandered over to the window and stood checking out the expansive view of The Park while he fingered the silk damask drapes. "Jenny would _love_ this."

"On your salary, bro? Dream on," said Esposito, punching his partner in the arm.

Castle got back up from his kneeling pose, huffing a little as he rose from the floor.

"What if the body was moved?" he asked. "Shot somewhere else and then positioned behind the desk? That would explain why the bullet was never recovered, if this isn't the primary scene," he suggested.

"No way. Blood spatter and a good portion of brain matter all over this wall says the guy was shot right here," insisted Esposito, pointing to the now dried, meter-wide debris field on the wall behind the man's desk.

"Got a UV flashlight?" Castle asked Kate.

"In my car," she replied deadpan, before giving him a withering look, "along with my laser trajectory pointer, Luminol spray, magnifying glass, and fingerprint powder."

Castle stuck his tongue out at her.

"What do you need with a flashlight anyway?" she asked, wandering over to inspect the open safe.

"Just think they may have missed something," said Castle, defensively. "Blood shows up better on dark surfaces under UV light," he said, prowling close to the deep red wall behind the desk, close to touching it with his gloved fingers.

"Who exactly are we talking about? Who's '_they'_? The entire CSU team, the two senior detectives working the case, or the ballistics expert they drafted in to specifically_ look_ for that missing round? 'Cause sadly, this isn't one of your books, Castle. You can't just _write_ in a bullet, conveniently lodged in a…"

"_Painting_," said Castle, with a triumphant flourish that had Kate whirling around to look at him.

"You see the gold droplets in this Klimt?" he asked.

"In this _pardon me_?" asked Kate, frowning at him.

"Klimt. Gustav Klimt. He was an Austrian symbolist painter. This is one of his best-known works, worth an absolute fortune," said Castle, pointing to the framed painting, whose creator was clearly no stranger to gold leaf. "The girl in the painting is Danaë, symbol of divine love. In this story, she's been imprisoned by her father in a bronze tower, and she gets a visit from Zeus. _He_ is symbolized by the golden rain falling between Danaë's legs, arousing her…"

Ryan and Esposito stopped what they were doing and spun round to listen to Castle; eyes a popping, mouths agape at the word '_arousing_'.

"Okay, hold it right there," said Kate, holding up her hand to stop him talking. "That's quite enough of the art history lesson for today, I think. What's this golden shower…sorry, _rain, golden rain,_ got to do with our dead guy anyway?" asked Kate, frowning and blushing at her inappropriate mistake.

Ryan and Esposito sniggered at the words '_golden shower_', and Kate shot them both a withering look that said '_grow up'_ in unmistakable terms.

Then she looked at Castle, wagging her finger under his nose, and said, "And if you dare say _slip of the tongue_, so help me…"

Castle managed to control himself, barely.

"There, hidden in the painting," he said, pointing to a spot near the bottom right hand corner.

The '_golden rain'_ Castle had referred to took the form of gold leaf and silver circles painted directly onto the canvas, creating a three dimensional, glittering image that reflected the low light in the room. The image literally glowed in the dark. There in the corner, right where Castle was pointing with his trusty Mont Blanc pen, was the tail end of a .35 slug. The small piece of brass has embedded itself in the painting, blending in perfectly with the rest of the design.

"How on _earth_ could they have missed that?" asked Kate, getting closer to inspect the piece of art with Castle.

"Hey, Ryan, hand me those crime scene photographs Detective Howard gave us, would you?" asked Kate, holding out her hand for the manila folder which she'd deposited on a side table near the door.

When the four of them gathered round to look at the photos they pulled up short at the one depicting the wall behind the desk, because the Klimt was missing from that particular photo. Gone, nowhere in sight.

"It's not there," said Kate, pointing to the wall. "That's a completely different painting."

"There should have been blood spatter covering that part of the wall surely, including the lower corner of the painting?" said Castle.

"Yes, definitely. But there's no mention of that anomaly in the crime scene report."

"We need to talk to the housekeeper. If this painting was taken down after the shooting and then rehung sometime between the techs arriving and our visit today…" said Castle.

"She'd be the one most likely to know about it," agreed Kate.

* * *

The doorman summoned the housekeeper, Gloria, who was now conveniently working for the 'lovely young couple down the hall', according to the lady herself.

What started out as a friendly chat got increasingly difficult as the questions got harder and Gloria's English got progressively worse.

"Gloria, we just want to know about the painting," said Kate, for the forth or fifth time, her patience starting to wear thin. "You haven't done anything wrong."

Besides tampering with a crime scene and removing evidence, she thought, though those facts could wait. They needed her cooperation right now.

"Tis Meester Mason favorite," she simpered, dabbing at her nose with a white cotton hankie.

"And was it here the morning you came in and found him? Please think carefully, Gloria. This is important."

Finally, she nodded, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I com een at seven. Meester Mason ees lying on desk, face down. I see blood on wall behind heem. He ees already dead. No hope, you understand?" she asked, clutching at Kate's hand, and patting the back of her own skull with the other one to indicate her boss' fatal injury.

Kate nodded, "Please, go on."

"The lady painting was my favorite. Meester Mason promise to me when he die. I think he no have time to arrange thees. So I take painting and replace with bigger one."

"You took it down and put something else in its' place?"

"Yes," she sighed. "But then I get painting home, and see there ees blood on frame and bullet stuck inside and I not know what to do. So I bring eet back when everyone ees gone and I hang back on wall. Hope no one will notice. I am in trouble, no?"

"You moved evidence, Gloria. It's not good," said Kate, shaking her head.

"But I bring back again," offered Gloria, a pleading look in her eyes. "Plees no tell Meester and Meeses Epstein?" she begged, holding onto Kate's hand once more.

Kate shook the woman off and turned to Ryan.

"Take a fresh statement from her, Ryan. And Espo, call CSU and get them back over here. I want that slug recovered and a report on my desk explaining why they missed the mix up with those paintings the first time around."

She turned to look for Castle, and found him lounging against the doorframe, deeply absorbed in his study of the Monet, a blissed out look she'd only seen on his face when lying in bed next to him after sex.

"And _you_," she said, pointing at the writer, "I'd like a word please?"

"What'd _I_ do?" protested Castle, following Kate out into the hallway.

"_You_," said Kate, poking him in the chest until she had him backed up against the wall, "used the words '_arousing her'_ in front of Ryan and Esposito. Have you got _any idea_ what that did to me back there?" she asked, jabbing her finger in the direction of the study, before she ran her hands through his hair and sealed her lips against Castle's, stealing his reply with the hot neediness of her mouth and the forceful slide of her tongue against his. "You made me say '_golden shower_' in front of them," she moaned into his mouth, nipping at his ear, gasping when he grasped her hips and pulled her hard up against him, drawing a matching moan of pleasure from his own throat.

"If it gets you this worked up, Kate," Castle panted, when she finally released him, "I can talk dirty at crime scenes more often."

"We're staying home tonight, Castle. So clear your schedule," said Kate, touching her fingers to her swollen lips and running her hands through her hair to tame it, before she turned on her heel and went back to find the boys, hips swinging double time.

_A/N: I have absolutely no idea what nationality Gloria was supposed to be, so don't even ask! :D __ Liv_


	67. Chapter 67 Transcendence M Rated

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 67 – Transcendence_**

**_WARNING: M RATED CHAPTER_**

"You're sure they're out?" asked Kate, giggling as Castle chased her in through the front door, grabbing at her ass while she squealed and tried to twist out of his grasp, batting his wandering hands away.

"Dinner then the ballet. They'll be gone for hours, I promise," he panted, chasing after her like he had been all the way up from the parking garage, hands roaming wherever he could plant them, fingers kneading and groping at soft, feminine curves, while she fought (weakly) to keep out of his reach.

"Then let's go to bed," said Kate, kicking off her shoes and then skidding across the floor towards the bedroom with Castle in hot pursuit.

* * *

Kate stood on her side, eyeing her partner from the far side of the bed, both of them grinning like idiots at one another, breathing heavily, still half out of breath.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" said Castle, starting to loosen the buttons on his shirt one at a time, while Kate mirrored his actions; the detective working far faster than her partner.

"What? Undressing ourselves for a change?"

He frowned in amusement at her answer.

"_No_, being back at the Precinct."

"Rick, no," said Kate quietly, shaking her head at him. She dropped her shirt on the chair in the corner before rounding the bed to join him on his side.

She reached up to trace the soft, fleshy curve of his lower lip with her thumb, watching him with darkening eyes.

"Let's leave work at the door. Hmm? This time is for you and me, okay?" she said gently, pushing up on her tiptoes. "No interruptions, no phone calls, no nothing. Just _you...and_..._me_," smiled Kate, punctuating her words with a kiss to each cheek, followed by a light caress of his neck, her thumb and forefinger tugging gently on his earlobe before she threaded her fingers through his hair, breathing in the warmth of his skin.

"I like the sound of that," whispered Castle, drawing her into him and running his hands up and down her back.

He half closed his eyes while he mapped the soft skin either side of her spine with his fingertips; the flat planes of her shoulder blades, then sweeping lower, the twin dips of her sacral region, and then on down to the warm, curved mound of her ass. So feminine. So inviting.

He dipped his thumbs into the waistband of her pants and ran them lightly from back to front, skirting the sensitive skin of her waist, abdominals jumping like crazy as he skimmed over them, before meeting at the front to begin undoing the button, sliding down the zipper and then pushing the garment down over her hips until gravity took over and her pants fell in a quiet puddle at her feet.

* * *

"Kate, you looked beautiful today," Castle whispered against her neck, feeling her fingertips tightening on his back at his words, her nails digging in, grasping him firmly, needing to pull closer, always closer. "So, _so_, beautiful," he whispered, feathering her neck with the lightest of kisses, dragging his tongue up over heated skin, breathing her in. He held her up when she stumbled into him, losing her balance when she started to sway, her own eyes closed now too, disoriented by too much longing and too many sensations coming all at once.

Kate moaned when he slid his hands back down over the twin mounds of her ass, cupping her buttocks through the smooth satin of her underwear so he could draw her hips closer, molding them together. He pushed his body up against hers, letting her feel his urgent need for her, his erection already straining through two layers of clothing, hard and desperate to come out and play.

"Let me," said Kate, deft fingers working quickly to relieve Castle of the rest of his clothing, while her tongue made little sorties out to explore each newly revealed, newly conquered, area of warm, smooth terrain; flirting with danger behind enemy lines.

He stood stalk still, patient like a little child, while Kate undressed him; divested him of his shirt, his pants and finally his boxer shorts, methodical and unhurried.

Then she kissed his naked chest, lavishing attention on each of his nipples, fingertips strumming his ribcage, until he stopped her with a gentle hand to the back of her head, too sensitive and too worked up to allow her to continue without getting more. Always needing more of her.

* * *

Kate dropped to her knees in front of him, fingers dancing down the backs of his thighs, mirroring Castle's pose at the crime scene that day. God how he'd turned her on with his talk of art, and his passion, and his goddamn brilliant theories… And then _kneeling_? The image of doing _this_ to him had stuck in her mind the rest of the day. Only this time no one was praying, though there might certainly have been some cursing, and thoughts of heaven were never far off.

She ran her tongue along the underside of his shaft, and he hissed, exhaling slowly through his nose, fighting to maintain control. His eyes slipped closed and his head fell back while she traced her fingers up and down the back of his thighs, his muscles contracting as her nails scratched lightly across his skin firing delicious jolts of electricity straight through his body, driving him wild.

"_Kate_," he moaned in warning, when she gripped him firmly and then teased the head of him with the flat of her tongue, before sucking lightly on the soft, exposed, fleshy tip a few times, her mouth ripe and succulent as she worked him. Nothing too deep or too vigorous yet, just a light tease to work him up a little more.

"Please?" he hissed, when she parted her lips around him again, drawing him in deeper this time, allowing the hard length of him to slide all the way into her mouth until he hit the back of her throat and withdrew on a moan of pure pleasure. Her pink lips glistened with moisture, and she hummed her approval as she took him in again, long lashes drifting closed.

He watched her in awe, Kate Beckett, kneeling before him working him with that beautiful mouth of hers, until it got too much and he had to close his eyes or look away.

"Kate, love. Hmm. Oh god," he shuddered, swallowed dryly, building a rhythm as his fingers wove through her hair, tangling in her curls, hands moving in time to the bob of her head, holding her close, his whole body vibrating with the fierce well of desire she was building in him.

Kate released him from her mouth with a wet pop, when he begged her to let him enter her. He was close, she could tell from the tightening she had felt as she cupped him with her hand, and the tremble in his thighs when she'd stroked playful fingers over the well-developed mound of his backside. Dear God, that ass.

* * *

He lifted her bodily, straight up from the floor as if she weighed nothing, and then laid her down gently on the bed, biceps flexing impressively while his erection bobbed between them, glistening from her hot, wet mouth and his own arousal, both mixed together. Unbelievable.

Kate scooted backwards on the mattress, laying herself out before him, relishing what was to come. She let her thighs fall apart immediately when Castle's thumb circled her through the satin of her underwear, his eyes lighting up at the dark stain of arousal that bloomed on the navy blue satin beneath his fingers. She arched up against the heel of his hand, shameless in her need for him.

"You're so ready, Kate. So wet for me," he whispered next to her ear, excited and awe-filled as he hovered his large, solid frame above her, pinning her to the bed in a way he'd been surprised to find she liked; a position that robbed her of all control and spoke volumes about just how much she trusted him.

Kate moaned incoherently beneath him, feverishly tossing her head from side to side, eyes closed tightly while his fingers resumed their inquisitive quest, slipping beneath her underwear to slide through her slick, silky, swollen folds, again and again. She opened and closed her legs against the mattress, restless, worked up, enjoying the silky friction of the rich fabric as it brushed against her skin, over and over; cool and delicious like the stroke of Castle's fingers up and down her thighs. Friction she needed in other places too.

* * *

Kate swallowed hard, opening her eyes to find Castle staring down at her with unconcealed amazement and so much love in his eyes at the sight of her stretched out on his sheets, writhing her body beneath him at the barest touch. His gaze was unflinching, and it pinned her, stripped her bare. With their relationship so newly minted, he still had the power to overwhelm her with the scale of his feelings for her and for them, the depth of his belief, his ceaseless ability to love, even in the face of dire uncertainty and a complete lack of proof. He was a man of faith in that respect; all his faith placed in her.

She reached up to caress his face, a ghost trail of touching that still felt so novel; his firm jawline; playful lips; smooth, flushed cheeks; the dip beneath each eye that showed when he was weary; the strong, masculine line of his nose – she mapped them all. Because she could worship too. Her lover wasn't the only one.

There were times, like now, when Castle still couldn't get over the enormity of this change in them. Barely over a week had passed, and every time he touched her like he was touching her now, and every time she looked at him like that, like he was everything, all she'd ever need again, when he'd never felt anything close to good enough for this extraordinary woman, it stunned him. Truth be told, _he_ was the one now waiting for the other shoe to drop, for all of this to have been nothing more than one long, amazing, ethereal dream.

"I need you," whispered Kate, licking her lips, nodding slightly to encourage, before opening her legs even wider for him, a gentle nudge, her fingers drifting between them to guide him in.

Castle stared down at her, his chest tight with need and the twisty, thrilling, terrifying enormity of his love for her.

"Kate," he choked out, on a shuddering exhale as he slid inside of her, burying himself as deep as he could go. "Oh god," he breathed out slowly, brushing the outer curve of her breasts with his thumbs in amazed adoration as he experienced once more the astounding, incomparable sensation of having her surround him; body, heart and soul.

Overwhelming. She overwhelmed him every time.

He would have waited a lifetime for this, _patiently_, if he'd only known that it would feel more astonishing than he could ever have imagined. Word-defying, his brain supplied, beyond description and beyond compare. Just Kate. _His_ Kate.

"Why don't we do this more often?" he huffed, grunting in surprise when Kate laughed in his ear at his absurd, unfiltered question, and her muscles contracted around his shaft with each of her trembling giggles.

"Mmm. More often?" she repeated, sounding the idea out, tasting it on her tongue.

She kissed his shoulder languidly, gripping his upper arms to pull him closer, reveling in the feel of her hardened nipples brushing up against his smooth chest, and the earth-shattering sensation of his strong body moving slowly over hers.

"Oh shit, yes. More often. Why not," she moaned, surging up to meet his mouth as an overwhelming wave of need broke over her.

Friction, yes, more friction, always friction, her body told her, as her back slid up and down against the warming sheets in time with their movements.

It was slow, and it was loving, and, oh dear God, _so intense_. More intense than she thought she'd ever felt before. Her partner worshiped her, lavished all his attention on her body, with every slow slide in and every long, controlled stroke of withdrawal that drew a shuddering gasp from her lips and an arch of her hips every damn time. He made her ache for him like never before.

They toyed with one another for whole long minutes, easing in and out, apart together all at once, eyes locked, until Kate swore she could feel every nerve ending she possessed fizz and vibrate with each slow pass of Castle's body inside of her.

They were fucking, and yet they were making love, like only they could; completely absorbed in one another, breathless with anticipation of the shuddering climax to come.

Cosmic, that was how it felt, bigger than both of them. This was what drove people to write great novels, create breathtaking works of art, Kate realized, with just the same intensity of inspiration they were drawing from one another right now. It was base, animalistic, on one level, and it transcended space and time, sang like the angels of heaven, on so many other levels. Here was her soul mate, and she'd never felt that so deeply, never believed or been so sure until now. Until this man worshiped her body like a precious thing, cared for her heart more deeply than his own, and protected them both with a ferocity she never knew he possessed.

* * *

Castle rocked his hips into her again, his eyes drifting closed on the overload of sensation, and Kate sighed out his name, felt the warmth of a tear slip down the side of her cheek. Her body was ready, her arousal near its' peak, each thrust of his hips and responding curl of hers bringing them both closer, higher, nearer to release.

"You're so close," whispered Castle, watching her fight the desire to tip over the edge until the ache was almost unbearable. "Come for me Kate."

"Together," she said quietly, searching his face, his eyes, to make sure he was with her. The understanding she saw there a shock and a comfort all at once.

How well they knew each other now, how completely.

Sweat slicked the flesh between them as their movements instinctively speeded up, and his lips found hers again, his tongue pushing forcefully into her mouth in time with the pulse of his hips, nearly shattering her. Sloppy thrusts, ragged breathing, chests sliding over one another, fingers flexing against flesh, gripping, grasping, needing to hold on to let go. Confused thinking, awareness slipping, blurred vision, the rushing sound of blood pounding, their hearts hammering together.

Loving. Loving. Loving.

* * *

They were both breathing hard when they came, lungs burning, in need of air. Kate screamed out as an intense, powerful orgasm broke over her, tightening everything to a painfully sharp point of blinding ecstasy that left her shuddering and cursing beneath him.

Castle surged up over her, thrusting more deeply as he spilled inside of her, the primal sensation his release sparked in him making him feel more masculine than he ever had. This tough woman writhing below him, with her sinfully beautiful body and tender, bruised heart, made him feel tougher and more fearsome than he ever thought possible. He'd protect her with his life if he had to, no question or doubt about that now.

"Oh dear God, that was…ah, shit, Castle. Help me out here?" panted Kate, wrapping her long, long legs around the back of his thighs, arching her pelvis up into him for one final, delicious squeeze, milking him dry.

"Fuck, Kate. What the hell was _that_?" he gasped, gripping her hips and helping himself to another deep, penetrating push, grinding his pelvis hard against hers.

"Dear God, Rick," Kate moaned, opening her thighs even wider for him, until the outer edges were pressed flat against the bed. Then she cupped his buttocks once more, rolling her hips up towards him, drawing him into her for a last dose of painful pleasure. Never one to be outdone.

Castle laughed, a high-pitched, surprised, girly sound. "You're gonna kill me with those abs of yours, Kate Beckett," he told her, gasping for air.

"Just my abs?" she teased, relaxing finally, the ache still burning low inside of her, already looking forward to round number two. "Quit complaining," she added, still out of breath, opening her mouth against his right bicep and catching a droplet of his sweat with her tongue.

"You completely undo me every time with your physicality," he panted, fingers tripping down her back.

"You completely undo me with your ability to say words like physicality when my brain can't tell my ass from my elbow."

Castle laughed again, the delighted sound rumbling through his chest and into Kate's.

"Gotta get off," he said, trying to hoist himself up onto his arms, body still shaking with their prolonged exertion.

"Thought that's what we just did?" she joked wickedly, trapping him against her with a squeeze of her thighs.

"Off you, my dear," grinned Castle, planting a sloppy kiss against her damp forehead. "Sticky and sweaty's not so fun when it's lying on top of you."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that, Castle," she asked, tucking his head down into the curve of her neck, and then drawing the sheet up to cover them.

"Nap with me," she asked, her voice roughed with sex, a husky edge to her request.

"Nap on top of you, you mean?" said Castle, amusement lacing his voice.

"Whatever," muttered Kate, her eyes already closed, as a heaviness that had nothing to do with her partner's body draped on top of her settled into her limbs.

"Kate, babe, don't go to sleep yet," he urged.

"Mmm?" she hummed, nearly under already.

"Let me move, love. I'll crush you if we lie like this."

Kate let out a huff of complaint, but she let Castle move off of her this time. She shivered as the shock of cold air hit her rapidly cooling skin, and tugged the sheet closer.

Castle rolled onto his side, turning her with him until she was tucked tight up against the line of his body, surrounded by his arms.

"There. Go to sleep, Kate," he soothed, brushing her hair with the lightest of kisses, almost knocked senseless by the surge of love he felt rising up in his chest for her.

_A/N: If that wasn't your thing, I'm sorry. People were asking…well, that's a lie, there may have been threats, demands and complaints, is all I'm saying. You know who you are! __ Story continues in the next chapter. Liv_


	68. Chapter 68 Famous Last Words

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 68 – Famous Last Words_**

"Rick?" mumbled Kate, stroking her partner's arm, lightly brushing the fine hair that coated his skin as she surfaced from a deep, dreamless sleep.

Castle's arm was draped heavily across her stomach, warm palm pressed to her abdomen, holding her tightly up against him.

"Rick," she hissed more loudly, feeling for his hand, and then squeezing his fingers, before trying to pry them off her body one by one.

They'd fallen asleep immediately after sex, wrapped up together on Castle's side of the large bed, his arms drawn tightly around her, bodies spooning. And that's how they found themselves now, still pressed together, sticky and warm, still smelling faintly of sex as the early morning sun shone in through the bedroom's colonial shutters.

"Mmm. What?" Castle finally moaned, when Kate's more insistent squeezing and tugging drew him to the surface.

"It's Thursday, Castle, and I'm starving," she complained, wiggling her butt up against his hips to get him moving and up out of bed.

"Unless it's _me_ you're hungry for, I'd suggest you stop with the bump and grind, young lady," he warned, loving the sound of Kate's saucy giggle when she felt what her maneuvers were doing to him already.

"Fine, then I'm showering. If you love me you'll make me breakfast before I have to go," she whispered, before planting a kiss on his chest and shimmying to the edge of the bed.

"Go where?" asked Castle, rolling onto his back, suddenly wide-awake and wholly focused on what Kate was saying.

"Like I said, it's Thursday. So I have an early session with Dr. Burke, and then we have the briefing with Senator Stinson at ten-thirty."

"_We_?" asked Castle, struggling to a sitting position so he could lean back against the headboard and pay more attention to what was rapidly turning into an important conversation about much more than food.

He wrapped his fingers around Kate's elbow, indicating for her to come back and sit beside him while they talked, even although she was already halfway out of bed.

Kate gave in, and crawled back towards him, dipping the mattress as she settled into the space he'd made for her up against his side.

"Do you have a thing? A meeting or…?" she asked, turning to look at him as he slid his large, flat palm back over the curve of her stomach, molding his warm hand around her while she leant up against his chest, a hum of arousal beginning to unfurl low in her belly at his sly touch and the mere closeness of him. "Because if you have something else on," she rambled, "I can go on my own or take one of the guys. I just thought that we could…I mean I kind of hoped we'd go there together. Given everything you've done for my mom's case."

Castle listened to her patiently, needing to read between the lines less and less these days as Kate trusted him enough to speak more plainly, learned to ask for exactly what she wanted from him as if she understood now that needing his help or his love didn't make her weak.

"Kate, I have nothing on. Nothing that can't be moved anyway," he clarified. "I'm just surprised, that's all. That you want me there."

"Castle, you're my partner. Why wouldn't I want you there? This could be the biggest thing that's happened in my mom's case since…I don't know…since we tracked down Hal Lockwood."

"I…look of course I want to go with you, Kate. I just didn't want to push, and I have no idea what Gates thinks about me going with you to this meeting. It's Senator Stinson. That's a big deal."

"_My_ meeting, Castle. _Mine_," said Kate, rather fiercely. "If this guy wants to see me, then he gets you too. So, make me breakfast while I shower?" she asked more gently, ending the discussion with the light brush of her lips over his. "Good morning, by the way," she grinned, when they pulled apart, back to being his girlfriend, instead of Detective Beckett.

"Morning, Kate," he said, grinning back, winding one of her curls around his finger. "And don't think I don't know what you're doing here. Like flirting with me's gonna get you all kinds of breakfast treats."

"Well? You'd better get up and get cooking, lover boy. Time's a wasting."

* * *

Kate was dressed, and ready to walk out the door half an hour before her appointment with Dr. Burke. Castle had pulled on a pair of lounge pants and a tee shirt when he got up to make her waffles with bacon and maple syrup. Kate thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she smelled the delicious aromas of coffee, bacon and sweet, smoky syrup wafting their way into the bedroom. And when she finally caught sight of her partner, soft jersey cotton clinging to his back and highlighting the strong curve of his buttocks and thighs while he cooked for her, she _knew_ she must have died and gone to heaven.

"You know, I could seriously get used to this," she whispered up against the side of his mouth, while teasing away a little bead of syrup that lingered there with the tip of her tongue. "And you smell so good," she complained, pushing off his chest with a reluctant moan to fetch her suit jacket.

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm already used to this, so you need to catch up, Beckett," he teased, helping her on with her jacket.

She'd dressed a little more formally than usual in light of their visit to the Senator's office later that morning. Gone were the jeans and button down, replaced by a sharp black pantsuit, black heels and a crisp, white shirt. She clipped her badge to her black leather belt. Her weapon was holstered inside the back of her pants, but her hair still curled freely around her face and down her back, giving her appearance a feminine edge.

"So, you'll meet me at Burke's office?" she asked, a little shyly, fingering the hem of her partner's tee shirt. "And you don't mind? Picking me up, I mean."

"Kate, honey, of course I don't mind," he said, drawing her into a hug that had her filling her senses with the feel and the smell of him all over again.

"_Rick_," she warned, a whine of complaint in her voice as he continued to press her to his chest. "I _really_ need to go and you're not helping."

He released her reluctantly, tucked her hair over her shoulder.

She stepped back a little, had to force her eyes back open to ask him this next favor.

"If you could get there a little early…" she began, stopping to chew her lip nervously.

"I can do that. Like, how early are we talking?"

She cringed a little, and bit her lip again. "Half an hour?"

"Sure. Not a problem. You want me to come up or wait in the car?"

"No, Castle, by early…I meant for you to…" she blew out a breath to steady herself. "I wondered if you'd come in for the second half of the session…with Burke, I mean, and me. But only if you're comfortable…I mean I don't want to put you on the spot or anything, and there's always next week if…"

"Kate," said Castle gently, taking her hand, adding, "_Kate!_" a little more sharply to grab her attention and stop her from rambling.

"Yes?" she looked up at him eagerly.

"I'd love to. I'll see you at half past eight on the dot. Now go, before I start unbuttoning you shirt with my teeth. You look gorgeous. Go," he smiled, turning her by the shoulders and propelling her towards the door.

* * *

Dr. Burke's office was empty save for the receptionist and the good doctor himself, who was already waiting for Kate with his office door open, despite her early arrival.

"Kate, it's good to see you. Please, take a seat," he said solicitously, indicating her usual spot. "How have you been?"

"I…uh…good. Really good, actually," nodded Kate, not even trying to conceal her smile as she ran her mind back over the events of the previous week.

All the time she'd spent with her partner, their dinner with Ryan and Jenny, her argument with Castle over the murder board, their brunch with her dad, visits with Evelyn that had stirred up the past, the development in her mom's case, various arguments and discussions with Alexis, the shooting at the bar, meeting Gates again, getting her job back, and now Senator Stinson… Yeah, a whole helluva lot had happened inside one week, she realized.

There had been times when she'd visited Burke in the past and been ashamed by how empty her life had seemed, and therefore how heightened her problems had become to her. The thought that one of her biggest and longest running issues had been how to tell Castle that she loved him now seem embarrassingly absurd, and she blushed just thinking of it.

"Why don't you tell me about your week? How are things with Rick, for example? And have you made any decisions about your job? How about we start with those two issues, hmm?" he suggested, easing her into the session to help with the weekly process of getting her to open up.

Kate smiled again, somewhat dreamily, if Dr. Burke's amused reaction was anything to go by.

"We've been pretty solid. Surprisingly so, considering that we've been living under the same roof since right after getting together."

"So you're still staying with Rick and his family?"

Kate nodded.

"And that's working out okay? You've expressed a deep-seated need for your own space in the past, Kate. The lack of privacy that comes with living so closely with other people isn't troubling you?"

"No," Kate shook her head. "No, in fact I'd go so far as to say I'm quite enjoying it; being back in a family environment. I mean there are times when it's frustrating that it's not just the two of us, but…" she blushed when she realized exactly how _that _sounded.

"And Alexis? You were having some issues with her as I recall the last time we spoke. "Any improvement there?"

"We're getting there. We had a little flare up the other morning. She's so used to having her dad all to herself. But her anger seems to be directed more at Rick than anyone. I offered to go back to my apartment to give her space, but things settled down. She's adjusting. I think we all are."

"That sounds remarkably grown up all round. Civilized, even."

"It's…not what I expected, and easier in so many ways," admitted Kate. "Rick is actually the one having difficulty dealing with Alexis' attitude at times. In fact, I should have mentioned that I asked him to join us for the latter half of the session today. I hope you don't mind?"

"Kate, this is _your_ session. We're here to talk about whatever will help you."

Dr. Burke lifted the phone to let his secretary know to send Castle in as soon as he arrived.

"And your job? Have you made any decisions regarding that area of your life?"

"You hinted when we last spoke that maybe my sudden urge to reveal my feelings to Rick were rooted in my decision to resign from my job. That I was using him to fill that void. And it made me angry to even consider that you thought of it like that."

"Why did it make you angry, Kate?"

"Because I respect your opinion, and to think that you viewed the biggest thing in my life as a knee-jerk response to losing my job…" she shrugged, the flare of anger dissipating.

Kate looked down at her hands, uncomfortable with her outburst, her criticism of Dr. Burke's suggestion.

Dr. Burke gently probed again.

"So you consider Rick and revealing your feelings to him the biggest thing in your life?" he asked, watching her face closely.

Kate looked up sharply, her eyes locking on his.

"Yes. Why…why would you even have to _ask_ that?"

She looked puzzled and annoyed, as if that had always been blatantly obvious.

"Because until last week, Kate, your mother's murder, her case, getting justice, _those _were the biggest things in your life. You told me so yourself," he reminded her quietly.

Kate looked down at her lap again and shook her head sorrowfully, toying with the crease on the front of her pants.

"I…I know you're right. That I did say those things, and sure, there _was_ a time, a _long time_ probably, when I believed that, when it was true. But…"

"Not anymore?" supplied Burke.

"Thankfully, no. Not anymore. My life feels like…like it's _expanding_ right now, like it's this big brown bear or a sleepy tortoise waking up from a long hibernation. I feel like I'm stretching _everyday_, and Rick is there with me, helping and supporting me. I mean, don't get me wrong, we've had arguments…"

"Can you tell me a little about that? How you worked through those? Remember we often learn more about ourselves when faced with change or conflict than we do in the course of our day-to-day lives, Kate."

"I found out by accident that Rick had been working on my mom's case behind my back for the last year, trying to keep me safe by keeping me away from it."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Well…" Kate's laugh was a little brittle. "You know me."

"I do, a little. But how about you explain it to me, Kate? What you were feeling?"

"I was so angry. I'm not proud of how I reacted. It was the early hours of the morning, and I threw things, I yelled, I even woke up his mother and daughter…"

She shook her head at the memory, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

Dr. Burke arched his eyebrows, waiting for more.

"I felt like I did when he told me about the plan to keep me away from the case; as if he'd treated me like a child, taken my rights away again."

"But you must have resolved the matter somehow? He's coming here today after all."

"He made me see that I'd put him in an invidious position by asking him to wait for me until I fixed myself, until I solved my mom's case and could be ready. Until that wall came down. He knew that if I tried to solve her case, it would most likely get me killed. Stalemate. And I was the one who put him there. He loved me, and by his way of thinking, if he didn't remove that impediment between us, then we could never be together. So he did what he could to make it happen."

"That sounds like a romantic and rather selfless thing to do; to toil away in the background on your behalf, while keeping you out of harms' way?"

Kate smiled, that dreamy film floating over her eyes again.

"When you put it like that, yes, I guess it is," she conceded. "At four in the morning, with little sleep and a heavy dose of paranoia…? Yeah, not so much," grinned Kate, shaking her head. "But we're past that now."

"Good. You two seem to be working well together, figuring things out bit by bit," observed the doctor, just as he was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. "Ah, and it seems your partner in crime has arrived right on time," he added, in a rare moment of levity.

* * *

Castle popped his head around the door a little hesitantly when Dr. Burke called for him to come in. The doctor stood, shook Castle's hand to welcome him, and then indicated the empty chair next to Kate.

Kate caught hold of Castle's hand when he reached her side, tangling their fingers together, and then he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, whispering, "Hey," softly, his eyes warm and dancing at the sight of her.

"How's it going? Everything okay?" he asked, looking from his partner to her therapist and back.

Kate gave him a smile and a reassuring nod.

"We were just discussing how you've been working through the various issues that have cropped up in the week since I last saw you both. Kate was explaining her reaction to discovering the work you'd been doing on her mom's case, and your take on why you felt your efforts were necessary. Why you had to keep them from her."

"I wanted the girl," said Castle, with disarming honesty and a shrug, turning to look at Kate. "What can I say? Just look at her," he said, to Dr. Burke. "She's gorgeous."

Castle's entry into the room, his easy, open manner, and his levity lifted and changed the dynamic in an instant.

Kate laid her hand on his knee and squeezed, shaking her head to scold him, her smile completely ruining the effect.

"I think you got her," she told him, with a slow smile and a dip of her lashes.

Castle smiled back at his partner and nodded slightly, and then he turned back to Dr. Burke. "But more than that, it was always about trying to keep her safe. If I couldn't be with Kate, for whatever reason…I just wanted to see her happy. Happy and safe."

"How did her job work with that need you had to keep her safe, Rick? Her job was dangerous by its very nature."

"We work together. I try my best to have her back…when she'll let me," he said, giving Kate a wry look. "I wish I could do more, that I could be armed sometimes…especially now things are hotting up with her mom's case again."

Kate interjected at this point, realizing Dr. Burke was a little behind the times on the job front.

"A lot happened in the last week that we didn't even get to yet. There was a shooting incident at Rick's bar one night when we were there with friends, for example. But the long and short is that I've decided to go back. To the NYPD. I'm going back."

"And you're okay with that?" asked Dr. Burke, aiming his question at Castle. "You expressed some concern to me last week that you thought leaving her job might not have been in Kate's best interests in the longer term."

"I did, that's true. Her job is just so much a part of who she is, and it's how we met and where I fell in love with her…"

Castle turned away from Kate to look at Dr. Burke.

"Just watching her drive to find the truth, how fearless she is, how _moral_…it inspired me. I still want to show her that there is so much more to her than her job, and if she had decided to do something else with her life I would have helped her with that too."

"That's very generous of you, Rick."

"Not really. Kate is the generous one. She's given me so much over the last four years, even when she didn't want to," he laughed, nudging her elbow off the arm of the chair.

"And Kate, how are you feeling about returning to work?"

"We have a good chance to solve the case once and for all. And I'm excited by that. Everything in my life is starting to look different, expanding, like I said. Getting the case out of the way is a means to an end now, not _the end_ in itself anymore. This man has shown me that it's time I came out of hiding and started to live again, that there's a whole life waiting for me on the other side of those courtroom doors. So I'm eager to get to that point where we can begin whatever it is that we're beginning here."

"And what do you both think that might be?"

"A life," said Kate simply.

"Together," added Castle, giving Kate a smile and a nod of agreement.

"She's so smart. _Super_ smart," he added enthusiastically, "and that excites the hell out of me, Carter. This woman can…she can out-quote me on everything from comic books to Shakespeare; she is the _smartest_, _funniest_, most _extraordinary_ woman I've ever met. Not to mention she can drink me under the table too."

Dr. Burke laughed.

"Yeah, and he has a tendency to exaggerate," said Kate, sending Castle a delighted smile. "But I'm working on that. Gotta show him who's boss," she said, laughing loudly when Castle pulled his shocked face.

"Well, seems to me you have a pretty equal partnership going there," said the doctor, smiling at their playful back and forth. "Now I'm afraid we're reaching the end of our session. Is there anything either of you would like to add before we stop for today? Anything you'd like to say to one another, for example?"

"Can I just say," Kate began boldly, turning to address Castle, "that you've surprised me this last week. You always had faith in us, even when I was unsure, and I owe you so much for that. We would not be where we are today if it weren't for your dogged persistence and your forgiving heart. So, I…just…thank you, Rick. For being there, and for always being my friend, no matter what."

"Kate, it's been my pleasure," said Castle, sincerely. "We have an interesting life ahead of us. I'm sure of that, and I can't wait to experience every new adventure with you. We've done pretty well so far. And I'm excited to see what comes next."

And those, as they say, are the _famous last words…_

_A/N: Thank you for the enthusiastic, often breathless, reviews to the last chapter. It's been a while since I wrote this pair in their full M-rated glory, so I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being a little nervous. Hope you liked Dr. Burke's session. It gave them an opportunity to talk to one another in a slightly different way and was a good 'calm before the storm' pause, I think. Onwards... One week to go! Yikes. Liv_


	69. Chapter 69 Fulcrum

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 69 – Fulcrum_**

The Senator's office was located on Third Avenue between 48th and 49th Streets, a few blocks northeast of Grand Central Station in an anonymous, fifty story office building with a pink, polished, granite facade. A row of young lime trees bordered the sidewalk out front giving a valiant nod to nature and adding a much-needed splash of greenery to the concrete canyons that formed that part of Midtown.

Castle found a parking garage nearby, and they sat in the car for a minute or two just gathering their thoughts. He could see how important this meeting was to Kate, how much store she was setting in the outcome, and so he sat quietly beside her, letting her mentally prepare herself, hoping against hope that she wasn't about to be let down again.

"Castle," she said at length, drawing her knee up so that she could turn in her seat to face him. "I just wanted to thank you for coming with me this morning…to see Dr. Burke, I mean…I…"

Castle took her hand across the central console, held on lightly to her fingers, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

"No," he shook his head. "No, Kate. It's _me_ who should be thanking _you_. You have no idea how much it means to me when you let me in like that. That you want share that private part of your life with me. It shows just how far we've come. And you know what?"

"What?"

"If this meeting doesn't go the way you hope, we _will_ find another way, Kate. I promise. There's always another way. And we _will_ defeat this thing once and for all."

The sudden slide of Kate's arms up and around his neck surprised him, and then she pulled him towards her across the console into a tight embrace. He wound one arm across her back, cupped the back of her head with his free hand, and held her there against his neck for a long, silent moment.

When she withdrew she looked at him shyly, and then looked away completely, as if the sudden need to hold onto him had come out of nowhere for her too.

"Hey, what was that for?" asked Castle, gently tipping her chin up with his index finger so that he could see her eyes.

"For…I don't know, being _you_. For always knowing…_well_," she laughed, "for _almost_ always knowing the right thing to say. If today is a waste of time, just another blind alley, you've already given me hope that we'll try harder tomorrow. That's all I need from you, Castle, your heart and your hope. The rest I can cope with, so long as you're there with me."

"I'm right here, Kate. Always," he said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Then let's go."

* * *

They finally reached the Senator's office, after calls were made from reception and a member of the Senator's security team met them in the lobby to escort them upstairs.

A large Senate Seal was etched into the glass of the main doors, heralding the entrance to the Senator's suite of offices; his New York base for when Congress was out of session, Washington's clutches loosened, and State or constituent business brought him home.

The shield, with its stars and stripes in the center, topped by a red Liberty cap, bordered left and right by olive and oak branches, and bounded below by a pair of crossed fasces symbolizing 'strength through unity', gave Kate a strange kind of hope. All her adult life she'd worked for justice from behind the power and authority granted to her by her badge. It opened doors for her, it deemed that right was always on her side, ensured she treated everyone fairly, sought the truth whatever it cost and however long it took. It guided her. She hoped the same could be said of the Seal of the United States Senate.

* * *

Senator Randall Stinson was a tall, thin man in his sixties, handsome, striking even, if a little pale. His bearing spoke of time spent in the military, while his build and physical make-up spoke of good breeding and a life of privilege. He came from old money.

"Detective Beckett, Randall Stinson, so good to meet you," he said, walking confidently across the floor to shake Kate's hand.

His grip was strong, though his palm was noticeably dry, his cheekbones more pronounced under the building's harsh, artificial lighting.

"Thank you for seeing me, Sir. I know you must be busy, so I really do appreciate it. Please allow me to introduce my partner, Richard Castle," said Kate, stepping aside to watch as the writer grasped Stinson's hand in both of his.

"Senator Stinson, it's a pleasure," said Castle, greeting the man warmly and giving him a confident smile. "Always a privilege to meet with one of our country's great lawmakers."

Ease and a lightness of touch seemed to follow Richard Castle wherever he went. Never seemingly out of his depth, whatever the situation. Even unarmed in the face of a gun, this man had resources Kate could only dream of. He needed no badge to gain entry to a world of power and privilege, and she knew his money only cushioned and bolstered him so far. No, Richard Castle had been breaking the glass ceiling since he first put pen to paper, with his sturdy arsenal of self-belief and charm, good manners, and a deeply held knowledge that at the end of the day, people of whatever station in life were only human after all. King or prince, President or Senator, they all put their left or right leg into their pants first, and if you could picture them on the john, then so much the better. He used his imagination to rob situations of the fear normal people choked on, and that trick had worked so well for him that he'd won himself what he considered the greatest prize of all – Kate Beckett - her respect and her love, and maybe more importantly, her trust.

So she gave in to him when he rested his hand in the small of her back, ushering her ahead of him to the Senator's informal seating area, hovering until she took a seat on the small sofa, and then sinking down beside her, a few inches of space left between them; close enough to comfort, but not close enough to call attention to the special bond they shared.

A female assistant delivered a tray of tea and coffee, the warm, familiar aroma from the silver coffee pot settling Kate's nerves as she fought the urge to just jump right in and ask the Senator why they were there, what help he could offer them, and most important of all…why now?

When the coffee was poured and the help had withdrawn to the unknown space beyond the doors, Senator Stinson sat back in his chair and leveled Kate with an appraising look. Nothing appreciative or salacious, just the look of someone who had heard great things, and now wanted to compare a long-held mental image with the reality now seated in front of him.

"Detective Beckett, I expect you have a great number of questions for me," he finally began, and Castle felt Kate exhale beside him.

It was starting. The end she hoped for was coming, and she was getting herself ready to face whatever she would have to hear.

* * *

"I have been following your progress for a number of years now, Detective Beckett, and I am familiar with a good deal of your work. Yours too, Mr. Castle," he said, casting a brief glance at the writer, before turning his focus back on Kate.

Whether the Senator meant his novels or his work with the NYPD, Castle wasn't sure, but the thought that this powerful man had been following Kate's career for some unspecified length of time made him distinctly uneasy.

"Then I'm afraid you have me at a slight disadvantage, Sir," said Kate, placing the floral patterned coffee cup back down on the glass-topped coffee table that filled the void between them. "Might I ask _why_ you've been following my career?"

"Allow me to begin at the beginning, Detective Beckett, and, I promise, all will become clear."

Kate nodded wordlessly, and settled back on the deep blue sofa beside her partner, her hands making one last anxious passage down her thighs and back up again, until they came to rest in a clasped nest on her lap.

"Before your mother was murdered," he began, his voice a well-modulated, cultured baritone that spoke of an upbringing amidst the wealth and privilege of Manhattan and Long Island's elite, devoid of the vocalic or consonantal features typical of a New York accent.

Castle shot a quick glance at Kate to see her reaction to those sickening words, but she was staring intently ahead, listening as if her life depended upon it, and in this instance, sadly, it almost certainly did.

"There was a nightclub in Little Italy, in an alley behind Mott Street, where members of the five families used to gather. It was called…"

"The Sons of Palermo," supplied Kate. "I know."

Stinson ignored the interruption and carried on.

"Then you also know by now that an FBI agent by the name of Bob Armen was murdered in the alley behind that club, and a mob enforcer called Joe Pulgatti took the fall for the murder."

"Yes, Senator, none of that is news to us," said Kate, trying to mask her impatience, feeling her disappointment start to grow.

"The why of that murder is almost irrelevant now, a bungled kidnap and ransom attempt by your late boss and his gang of misguided vigilantes, a mere footnote in New York's mafia-soaked history. No, it's the story of what was going on in that nightclub and its subsequent replacement that makes for more interesting reading," he teased, pausing for effect.

Kate shifted in her seat, crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying and failing to get comfortable. Castle could feel nerves and impatience radiating off her in waves, and so he decided to step in to speed things up.

"Sir…I think I can speak for Kate, Detective Beckett," he corrected himself, "when I say that she's been trying to track down her mother's killers for the last thirteen years. Neither you nor I can truly comprehend the toll that takes on a person's life. Although someone has evidently seen fit to place a value on Detective Beckett's life."

Castle paused before carrying on.

"We need answers, Sir. Not just to put this case to rest once and for all and to get justice for those who have died since this trouble began, but to stop the people at the heart of this conspiracy who are at this very minute trying to silence my partner for good. We need your help. If you have information, please share it with us. If not, let us get on our way so we can find our own, before we run out of time."

* * *

"I chair the Senate sub-committee on Organized Crime," said Stinson, evidently deciding to speed up his story, lest he lose the attention of the two people seated before him. "We've been monitoring the goings on of the drug rings in this city since the Genoveses, the Bonannos, the Luccheses, the Gambinos and the Colombos started running their filthy drugs racket across the five boroughs. Drugs replaced alcohol as their primary source of income, you will be aware, when Prohibition ended back in 1933. Over time trade simply exploded, getting more and more lucrative as the years went by. By the end of the nineties profits were running in their millions and we were barely scratching the surface with the seizures that were made."

"This is all very interesting, but what does it have to do with my mom?"

"Your mother was an undoubted champion for justice, a modern day crusader; fearless, but something of a lone voice at times. And sadly, she didn't know when to stop. She took on the case of Joe Pulgatti after he wrote to her from prison insisting that he had been wrongly imprisoned for the Armen murder. This much I know you know already," he conceded. "She was also involved in an anti-drugs initiative called 'Take Back the Neighborhood' which centered on an rundown area of Washington Heights. But she had no idea when she started digging into Pulgatti's case that the two things would collide in the most unedifying of ways."

Senator Stinson went on to explain that Pulgatti offered up the name of the Genovese family's key distributor, a black kid by the name of Vulcan Simmons, who was getting a bigger and bigger foothold in northern Manhattan with a territory that ran all the way from 155th Street to north of Inwood. He also enlightened her as to the Genoveses' master plan; a scheme cooked up in the basement of that club by their boss at the time, Saul 'The Spike' Gaggini, to take their earning potential to the next level.

Johanna Beckett worked up the case with her colleagues on The Justice Initiative, Diane Cavanaugh and Jennifer Stewart, and then presented this offering to the ADA; a sharp-looking guy named, Marcus Bradshaw. Unbeknown to Mrs. Beckett, Bradshaw, along with a number of the City's judges and prosecutors, was in the pay of the mob, and when he heard the testimony Pulgatti was willing to make against the Genoveses, he took it to Saul Gaggini himself, and got the orders he was expecting from the mafia boss all along.

"Bury it, or bury her. But do not let this see the light of day."

Kate pressed her lips into a thin, pursed line, holding back a swell of anger that she didn't want this powerful man to see as he continued his story unabated.

Because Vulcan Simmons was raking in more money for these guys in that poor, largely Dominican neighborhood than they were making in Morningside Heights and El Barrio combined, and he and a couple of other lieutenants had been tasked with doubling turnover in the upper reaches of Manhattan over the next five years, leaving the mob free to focus on branching out overseas into untapped markets, developing new, more lucrative drugs, and finding better ways to distribute them.

Marcus Bradshaw had a mentee years before; a young lawyer by the name of Michael Mason who'd sat second chair on Pulgatti's original trial. ADA Bradshaw sent Mason to see Johanna Beckett to try to dissuade her from retrying the case, even although he'd moved on to bigger and better things by this point.

Mason's first attempt to get her to back off was based on a rough presentation of the original evidence; a bid to show her that the case had in fact been watertight, and that Pulgatti's protestations of innocence were just the last desperate attempts of a man facing a long stretch behind bars; a complete waste of her time.

And when Johanna poked holes in the facts of the case, more or less proving the conviction was unsafe, he told her that there was no new evidence she could offer the court that would allow her to apply for an appeal in any case. When presented with Pulgatti's revised testimony and the information on the mafia's narcotics plan that he'd offered up to cut a deal, Mason attempted to sketch a more direct outline of why it might be a good idea for Johanna to take her briefcase and walk away from this one. He tried to steer her clear of the iceberg, but she just wasn't willing to listen, and his threats went ignored.

"Two weeks later your mother was dead, and Michael Mason was back on the fast track to mob-backed success. But he never forgot your mother," Stinson told Kate, "and that's partly why he wanted to protect you."

Kate fought the urge to snap at the Senator for that pointless nugget of information, compassion and care that came far too late in the day to be of any use to her or her mother.

* * *

"What was Bob Armen doing when he was accidentally shot in that alleyway?" asked Kate, forcing her brain to move forward, stuffing her emotions down deep.

"The FBI were monitoring movements in the drugs trade in Manhattan at that time. A shift was going on. The Genoveses based themselves out of The Sons of Palermo. It was a low-rent, non-descript front, an HQ for their little pharmacological master plan to flood the market with newer, cheaper, more addictive versions of the designer drugs that were starting to make their way onto the streets. Over-doses were on the rise, and there were growing pockets of previously unheard of adverse reactions being recorded by the City Coroner and showing up at New York State Psychiatric and Columbia-Presbyterian."

Stinson paused to pour himself what looked like green tea, and then he offered more coffee to his two guests.

"Morningside Heights was the perfect location for their designer drugs; full of students with cash in their pockets and time on their hands. Bored kids who thought they were invincible, and needed to live the life to prove it, knowing daddy would bail them out if things ever got a little too real. Washington Heights, by contrast, was a hotbed of poor, easily hooked immigrants with few prospects and even less money to spare; people looking for a temporary wormhole out of the nightmare the accident of their birth had landed them in. Horses for courses, as they say. So the mob carved up their territories along racial and demographic lines; treated this city like a chem lab, and its inhabitants like lab rats."

"So, if they knew all of this was going on, why let it continue?" asked Castle.

"The authorities knew bits and pieces. Vice and Narcotics supplied most of the information, the FBI planted agents where they could. But these families were tight. They ran along nepotistic lines. It wasn't who you knew, but who you were related to. They'd rather employ a cousin fresh off the boat from Sicily with next to no English and the I.Q. of that sugar cube, than an outsider with even half a brain."

"So…if the authorities have known about this for all these years, why tell us now?" asked Kate, so many questions swirling round her head, fighting to get out.

"I haven't finished my tale, Detective. If you'll allow me a further indulgence? You see you have to understand the levels of corruption we're talking about here, throughout the police department, the judiciary, amongst politicians… '_Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely_', a wise man once said. And never a truer word was spoken, I'm afraid. Money was changing hands, people got promoted, rewarded, for their silence, for looking the other way, a lack of regulation was actively encouraged in some areas, and business thrived, powerful men were made, got rich, got elected, got more power…"

He trailed off with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Michael Mason is a good example of all that I have just described."

Stinson turned to Castle and said, "I believe you may have known him simply as Mr. Smith?"

When Castle nodded, and then glanced at Kate to check how she was faring, Stinson continued.

* * *

"As I said, Michael Mason is the best example I can offer to illustrate the way this thing worked. He sat second chair on the Armen case, an eager bright young lawyer with student loans and an eye for the main prize. When his boss, Aaron Grant, got sick out of the blue, with some help from the owner of his favorite Italian deli, I might add, Michael took over the case…and promptly lost it for Joe Pulgatti, who went down protesting his innocence. But in the biggest case of '_sometimes you win when you lose_' that I've ever seen, Mason quickly got promoted, he moved up through the ranks of the law, and then switched careers, launched a Private Equity Fund towards the end of the nineties."

"Draco," filled in Kate. "Yes, we did a little digging."

"Then you'll also know that the fund initially specialized in pharmaceuticals?"

Castle fingers reached out of their own accord, touched Kate's hand and tightened. She whipped her head round to look at him and he withdrew his hand before Stinson could see, but the connection had been made, he could feel the drawstring pulling tighter on the jumbled bag of facts they'd gathered so far.

"Eh…Yes," Kate frowned, concentrating on pulling up what she could remember of their meeting with Ryan's bother-in-law. "He…uh…invested in a number of different pharmaceutical companies with one of his early funds. But there were problems…with some of the drugs I believe? We heard something about adverse side effects and the FDA revoking some of their licenses?"

"That is correct. Mason was their frontman - a squeaky clean lawyer to all intents and purposes. He launched that fund backed by mafia money. Used it as a legitimate front to buy pharmaceutical research companies who would develop whatever drugs the mob were looking to sell. Staying small scale would have meant sticking to their knitting; making their own impure, cut to pieces, tabs of poor quality junk, diluted with Draino or bath salts in some rotting old warehouse down near the Gowanus canal, and then selling them to local junkies on the street. But Saul Gaggini had a bigger vision. He was in it for the long term, wanted to hit the big time, get a cut of the pie Pfizer, Merck and Eli Lilly had been controlling and carving up amongst themselves for years. This offered them a legitimate means of making big money, and if that involved falsifying a few research reports along the way, bribing the odd FDA official into granting a license before testing was complete, fabricating the results of clinical trials or never even holding them in the first place, then so be it. That was what the mafia was good at after all; cutting corners, finding audacious shortcuts to get things done come hell or high water. They made their money while the going was good, laundered the hell out of it through Mason's private equity vehicle, and then they got out. Moved on when the heat got too much and profits became harder to earn."

"Why did Mason close Draco down?" asked Castle, "If things were so profitable?"

"The dogs bark, but caravan moves on, I'm afraid…to China of all places in this instance. Cheaper drugs, better knock-offs, and FDA regulations were getting tighter all the while over here, oversight tougher, and then there were the class action suits. The SEC was circling its wagons around private equity too, getting ready to strike."

Stinson coughed, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and covered his mouth with it. Then he discreetly withdrew some kind of tablet from his pocket and swallowed it down with the last of his tea.

* * *

"You know Michael was a changed man these last few years," said Stinson, surprising them both.

"How so?"

"He lost his wife in 2005. A boating accident in the Gulf of Mexico I was led to believe, though her body was never recovered. Michael blamed himself. When I asked him about it he was vague, said something about sleeping on the job. I was never sure whether he meant at the helm of the boat, or something altogether bigger, more metaphorical. He set about changing his life from that time on. We met at a fundraiser for my Senatorial campaign in 2006, the year after Lena died, became friends. Michael closed down his business the following year, spent most of his time travelling. He had a real passion for art, avid collector…"

Stinson shook his head sadly, clearly remembering happier times spent in the younger man's company.

"In fact, it was Michael who gave me that," he said, indicating a painting that was hanging on the opposite wall; a dark oil on canvas with a heavy, gilded frame, depicting a scene that looked something like the stars at night.

"It used to hang behind his desk when his office was based in the Pershing Building. It's a constellation in the northern hemisphere. Circumpolar, so it never sets apparently," explained Stinson, pointing to the pinpricks of light the artist had managed to suspend against the darkness.

"The constellation's known as Draco – _The Dragon_ – just like his company," he added, turning Castle's spinal fluid to liquid nitrogen.

* * *

Kate stilled for a second, but never blinked. Castle caught his breath while Kate ploughed on.

"He contributed to your campaign, I believe?" she said, never one to shy away from the difficult questions.

"That is true. Though we were friends first and foremost."

"But you were running on an anti-crime ticket…he was barely a step up from a mafia backed drug lord," said Kate.

"Hardly that, Detective, but I do see your point. And all I can say is that people change. Maybe he saw his contribution to my campaign as a penance; his final act of contrition, if you will."

"Final?" asked Castle, puzzled. "But that was back in '06. He knew he was going to die even then?"

"We're all going to die one of these days, Mr. Castle, that's life's only certainty. I do think he felt marked though. Because once you're in with the family, you're supposed to stay in, or leave in a box, and he knew a lot. His association with me was… Well, some might have called it ill-advised. I think he felt he'd profited long and hard on the backs of others' misfortune, and he wanted some small way to pay recompense for that. Rather like your boss, Roy Montgomery, I believe. A life well led to make up for some, shall we say, _early_ _mistakes_?"

Kate sat stalk still, her face impassive.

"Roy Montgomery documented all the information he was able to gather over the years on the conspiracy surrounding your mom's murder and beyond; the cops he knew were involved, the judges, the prosecutors. That well-oiled machine needed people to keep in running, and Roy could name a few. He didn't have the whole picture by any means, but more than enough to keep you safe while Michael was alive. Problem was, sending him that file was like loading the bullet into the chamber himself, might as well have taken the safety off while he was at it. From that day forward Michael Mason was a marked man. And unless someone stops them, I'm afraid you maybe next, Detective."

"And _you_, why are you telling us all of this now?"

"My friend is dead. My term is nearly over, my work as yet unfinished. And it appears that I am dying, Detective Beckett. Advanced lung cancer, which is really rather ironic you see, given the years I spent as council for the tobacco lobby."

He laughed self-depreciatingly, and a cough rattled his chest again. He reached down, took a slow sip of water, and then continued.

"And rather than go all _Breaking Bad on you_, I thought I would share what little I know in the hope that it might help. Michael was really quite fond of you, you know. A real fan of your work…both of your work. He admired you from afar for a good number of years."

"What you've given us today is a history lesson, Senator Stinson," said Castle. "So Kate's mother learned of the mafia's plan to develop the drugs trade in Manhattan, she threatened to expose the details, and that was enough to get her and her colleagues killed. What about now? Why continue to target Kate thirteen years later?"

"Because that war goes on, even today. Kate exposes the men behind her mother's murder and a whole house of cards comes tumbling down. Judges, politicians, high-ranking officials in the police force… The FDA would take a lot of heat for the failings in their halls, and no one want wants public confidence in the very fabric of New York society to be undermined in that way. This is a ball of yarn, Mr. Castle, and if you unravel it all the way, it'll lead you to one man. The puppet master. Cut his strings and you have a chance of stopping this...quietly."

"How can one man control all of this, if it's as big as you say?"

"Simple. Money. Money and power. Give people enough of it, and you buy loyalty and you buy silence. The idea of family may have broken down everywhere else, but not with the mafia. Their codes are ancient, their deep-rooted sense of the _Cosa Nostra_ remains unbroken over decades,"

"But you're the chair of the Senate sub-committee on Organised Crime…so why not take this down yourself?"

"My time is running out, and thus far I have failed. There is a weakness of will to expose the extent of this. It would get too messy, too embarrassing. This government's attention has moved on now to the ever present threat presented by extremism from overseas, home grown terrorism on our own soil and the radicalization of our young people, foreign wars, Internet pornography, human trafficking, and the like. The means and methods these people have to make money on the backs of human weakness and depravity are endless, constantly evolving. Human beings are so often flawed and weak by their very nature, and when you have enough deviant souls to make up a market...? Then it's just a numbers game."

"So, how do we stop this particular bus? We don't have to take out the entire fleet…just…how do we make sure Kate is safe? Because we've tried stepping away, but this thing just keeps following us."

* * *

Stinson withdrew a plain manila folder from the side of his chair, and placed it on his knee, resting his fingers lightly on top of it, he drew his tale to a close.

"Your mother's killer, Dick Coonan, was hired by Saul Gaggini. Saul died of emphysema back in 2004, and his son, Carlo Gaggini, took over as the head of the Genovese clan. Carlo's been fighting to maintain the head of steam his father built up over the years to make the Genoveses the leading light of the five crime families. They've been battling as a group to stave off the attempts of the Russians and the Lithuanians, the Romanians and the Mexicans to take over their territory. But if there's something the Italians have always been better at, it's politics and bribery, and Carlo is a far more ruthless enforcer than his father ever was. He's known as _The Dragon_, for the tattoo he has inked upon his back - a serpent creature breathing fire from his shoulders to his waist - and for his sadistic tendency to brand his enemies with a poker pulled straight from a fire he makes sure never goes out. He calls it '_la fiamma eterna'._"

"So…this Carlo Gaggini, you're saying he's our guy? He's the man we need to take down?" asked Castle.

"The details are in here," said Stinson, nodding as he handed the file over to Kate. "Michael had someone watching him, keeping an eye out for you until he was…well, anyway. He's careful, this Gaggini, surrounds himself well. His bodyguards are all ex-military; keeps the family for business, pays for his protection – more loyalty that way. I believe you may already be acquainted with a certain Hal Lockwood, now deceased, and his replacement Cedric Marks, aka Cole Maddox?"

Kate nodded grimly, while Castle watched her run her fingers over the front of the folder again and again, as if stroking what was inside, though she still hadn't dared to open it.

"Despite his protection, you'll find some of Carlo's movements are…somewhat predictable. He lives on a compound on Long Island. Visits his priest and his bookie as regular as clockwork. Seems some things never change, no matter how powerful or rich you become. His home is well protected, so be careful, Detective. There is enough evidence in that file to secure a warrant and a sizeable task force when you're ready to make your move. As Mr. Castle has already alluded, your life is in danger. That little incident at your bar the other night was designed to dissuade you from rejoining the NYPD, if what my informants tell me is true. And should word of your meeting with me get out, that will only add fuel to the fire. Act decisively, and act soon. And may God go with you both."

* * *

As they left the office, the file clutched firmly under Kate's left arm, she looked back at the Senate seal etched into the glass of the front doors, and let her eyes run over the inscription. '_E Pluribus Unum'_ – '_Out of many, one_', and she slowly nodded her head at how fitting that motto now seemed. Of all the people involved in this cover-up, this conspiracy that had lasted years and stolen countless lives, it had taken for this one man to decide that enough was enough. The whole world over, that was all it took - one good man. For as had been said centuries before, _evil prevails when good men do nothing_, and here, finally, stood one good man.

Unfortunately, here also stood a dead man.

_A/N: That was really long, I know, and I'm sorry. But I hope it all made sense. It's a tricky job pulling all those hours of Beckett conspiracy together. Looks like Castle and Kate have some badass action up ahead. One week to go guys and gals! Liv_


	70. Chapter 70 No Kissing Tonight

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 70 – No Kissing Tonight_**

"I think I need a drink," said Kate weakly, as they made their way back to the car, breaking the silence that was pressing in from all sides.

"Kate…" Castled warned in a low voice. "We can't…you heard the guy. We need to act…do something now."

It was getting on for one in the afternoon, and they'd been with the Senator for over two hours.

"I didn't really mean…" Kate shook her head mirthlessly.

She stalled next to the car and drew her eyes up to his; those large pools of amber-green he could so easily loose himself in swirling with emotion, drawing him closer.

"Rick, what if I don't want to?" she finally blurted out, looking nervous, skittish. "What if…what if I _burn_ this file, or…or shred it? Bury it maybe? Hmm? Maybe it'll all go away…if I don't know what's in here?" she said, holding the thick folder by the edges as if it was a contaminated object, which he supposed in a way it was.

"Kate, we can't do that," he said soothingly, taking the folder from her, laying it down on the roof of the car, and then smoothing his hands down her arms before grasping both of her hands in his. "You know we can't do that. This is what you've been waiting for, hoping for, the break we've been working towards. And this thing has gone too far for us to stop the train now."

"But Castle…" she said, looking at him with such pleading in her eyes.

"I know you're scared. Okay. So am I. But we have to face this, Kate. It's time," he said gently, tucking her hair behind her ear, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone. "I'm right here. I'll always be right here," he said, placing the flat of his hand over her heart. "So we go back to the Twelfth, we go see Gates, lay it all right out there, and then we make a plan."

She let him draw her gently against his chest, the crown of her head tucked under his chin, melting herself into him. She slid her hands up his back, felt his muscles bunch and flex under her palms and the wide spread of her fingers, needing to touch as much of him as humanly possible. He folded her into his haven of a body, whispered quietly against the soft, fragrant waves of her hair, solid and real and comforting.

"Look, I know this is a lot. You're gonna need time to process everything he told us back there. So let me help you with that, Kate? Let me do that for you, okay? I want to help."

She drew back slightly, letting her hands settle on Castle's sides, arching her spine so she could look into his eyes, such a delicate mist of tenderness lingering there.

"You already are. You already do. Just…be _you_, Castle. Stick close, have my back. But let's be extra careful right now, okay? I don't care what comes next, or how many of these guys we take down. That's not important anymore…I just want you. Our future," she said, smoothing her fingers down the length of his dark, silk tie.

The fingers of her free hand were pressing hard into his ribs as she fought to hold it together, to force back her fear over what it would mean for them should something go wrong.

"Then we need to make that happen. Get in the car, Kate. We have work to do. "

* * *

The bullpen was buzzing with activity when they got back.

Karpowski was busy dragging a suspect out of Interrogation, a big, meaty thug of a guy who shot his old lady with a .45. The prison tats decorating his chimp like arms still spattered with the woman's blood, making the effort to hold him down to dab for the presence of primer GSR a mere awkward, pointless formality. The case was a slam-dunk, and he bounced off the wire mesh of the holding cell window, before stumbling against a desk as she dragged him back down to lock-up with one arm twisted hard up his back to await transport over to central booking.

The sound of the metal desk legs grinding across the wooden floor made Kate jump, and Castle reached out to squeeze her elbow against even his own better judgment. She surprised him with a grateful look, and then squared her shoulders, straightened her spine, and placed the fat file down on the desk in front of her.

"Beckett," said Castle seconds later, interrupting her efforts at mental preparation.

The warm, smooth manila stack rested under her fingertips, almost vibrating with energy, just waiting patiently, whispering to be opened. Like Gollum with The Ring, that file was Kate's '_precious_', and she was torn between her thirst to look at it and her desire to be free of it forever.

"Mmm?" she asked absentmindedly, looking up into his concerned face when she finally tore her eyes away from the Pandora's box before her.

"Captain's office," he said quietly, jerking his head towards Gates' lair. He held her eyes until she rose from the chair.

Things were bad if Castle was volunteering to go and see Gates willingly, so Kate gathered up the paperwork - the sizeable evidence of a life of crime - and prepared to follow him in.

* * *

Gates looked surprised when she realized Castle was the one knocking on her door. His head popped around the wooden frame, followed by the words, "Sir? Can we have a word?" emanating from his lips, his expression more serious than she would ever have thought him capable of.

"This better be good, Mr. Castle," said Gates, bidding him enter with a wave of her hand, and then she watched in surprise as her best detective followed the writer into the room.

Once they were seated before Gates, Kate seemed to get her mojo back, refocus. She planted the file on her lap with a thud, and took command of the room.

"We met with Senator Stinson," said Kate, eyeballing her boss and her alone.

"So I hear," said Gates coolly, her lips pursed into that familiar grim line that spoke to her almost permanent state of displeasure; her tone clipped, the words a peeved purr.

She steepled her fingers and sat back in her chair waiting for more.

Kate let her comment go, didn't ask the expected question, didn't even care anymore how Gates was keeping tabs on them.

"He had rather a lot to say for himself. About rather a lot of things, in fact," said Kate, glancing down at the file once more, the weight of it a solid thing on her knees.

"Any of it useful?"

"If what he said was true, then, yes, definitely."

"And how do you intend to go about proving whether he was simply spinning you a yarn or not, Detective?"

Kate paused for a second before answering, the word _yarn_ unearthing something in her brain, the second time she'd heard the word used today. Coincidence or something more? She shook the feeling off and carried on.

"We have the supporting evidence right here," said Kate, lightly tapping the cover with her short nails. "According to the Senator, everything we need to get a warrant and make an arrest is contained inside this file."

"And I take it you've yet to review this supposed evidence?" asked Gates. "Given the way you've been handling that folder since you entered the Precinct; as if it's some kind of volatile incendiary device about to blow up in your face."

Damn Gates and her damned blinds, thought Castle.

"We came straight here," said Castle, jumping to Kate's defense, tired of Gates' little mind games. "Wanted to brief the guys one time, and then get ready to move on this thing."

"_Move?_" asked Gates archly. "Mr. Castle, there will be no _moving_ on anything without my say-so. Understand?"

Castle nodded, his jaw flexing furiously as he clenched and unclenched his teeth.

Gates turned back to Kate.

"Give me the highlights?"

"Captain, this is not Jack shot Jill over Bill. It's…_involved, _Sir."

"Have it your way, Detective. Round up your troops and let's head to the conference room. You can bring us all up to speed in there, before Mr. Castle decides to '_Move It, Move It'_ all by himself."

Castle politely ushered Captain Gates out of her office ahead of him, before making a face behind her back that only Kate could see. She smirked at him, her eyes dancing, his momentary silliness easing the tension both of them were feeling.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito sat side-by-side, expectant looks on their faces, while Gates lounged on the corner of a table at the back of the room, arms crossed, over-seeing proceedings from this slightly loftier, more detached position.

Kate took charge of the meeting, the thick file still sat unopened in front of her as she prepared to run her team through all that they had heard.

The room remained silent while Kate outlined the facts from start to finish.

She told of the Genovese family, whose head, Saul Gaggini, had bid to snag a slice of big pharma pie by buying up drug research companies through a private equity fund run by Michael Mason, the man Castle knew simply as Mr. Smith; Mason's failed attempt to warn her mother off the Pulgatti case; Vulcan Simmons' remit to control the drug trade in northern Manhattan, while the mafia used The City's vulnerable residents as unwitting volunteers in their unofficial drug trials; the closing down of Draco following the death of Mason's wife; Carlo Gaggini's determination to keep the Genovese clan at the top of the mafia pile, prevent the family laundry from being aired in public, while keeping their network of bent officials deep in the shadows; before ending on the terminal health of Senator Stinson, and the fate that awaited Kate should they fail to act soon.

Castle hugged a mug of coffee to his chest the whole time she spoke, listening to her voice grow stronger with the recounting of each new fact, the further away the conspiracy travelled from the murder of her brave, principled mother.

"Wow! Beckett," said Ryan, rocking back on the legs of his chair when she finished, "that's some pretty fucked up stuff. Sorry, Sir," he added, covering his potty mouth when he remembered his boss was lurking just over his shoulder.

"And he…_what_?" asked Esposito, ever the suspicious one. "He just offered this stuff up to you on a silver platter? No price tag, just here you are after thirteen years? Anybody else a little wary of this guy's motives?"

Castle spoke for the first time.

"He seemed genuine, Espo. The guy is dying after all, and he just lost his friend, who we already know Montgomery trusted enough to try to keep Kate safe."

"But why wait 'til now?" Esposito persisted.

"Javi he's _dying_. And like Castle said, he had to watch his friend be consumed by the same conspiracy, controlled by the same ruthless thugs. His Senate term is almost up, and so it seems is his life. I didn't get any sense that he was jerking us around here. He has no reason to for one thing. If anything _we_ were the wary ones, resisting him from the get-go, weren't we?" she said, turning to look at her partner over her shoulder.

"Kate's right. But how about we let the evidence decide? Hmm? Take a look at what he gave us, and make our minds up from there?" suggested Castle.

Gates stood at this point, and made her way to the door of the conference room where she paused to aim her parting instructions at Kate.

"Keep me informed, Detective. If this goes as deep and as nasty as Stinson says, then we're going to have to apply for search and arrest warrants, we'll need resources – manpower and plenty of hard wear - and getting all of that together will take a little time. We may have to choose our judge carefully too. Come find me as soon as you have a case you can make to the ADA."

* * *

So they set up an assembly line of sorts – actually more of a disassembly line – designed to lay out, and then dismantle, the theories and corresponding pieces of evidence Senator Stinson had armed then with. If they could go through that file and break down the case to its constituent parts, before building it right back up again, airtight enough to take to a judge, then they were almost home free.

But like most things in life, nothing was ever that simple.

The file contained financial records for Carlo Gaggini's personal and business accounts; the business part relating almost exclusively to a small sports bar he owned in Garden City out on Long Island; another smokescreen. The bar was called '_Bogey's_' and had a golf theme to it, if the little logo, depicting a pair of crossed putters, on top of the stationery was anything to go by.

"Can you see this thug playing golf?" asked Kate, looking at the early rap sheet Ryan had pulled off the system.

"For an Italian, guy sure likes his ink," remarked Esposito, pointing to the young man's tattoos. "You see the Sacred Heart on his neck and that…what is _that?_ A _bird thing_ on his chest?"

"Dove of peace, is he for _real_?" asked Ryan, snatching the mug shot from his partner's hand while he listed Carlo Gaggini's juvenile record. "Battery, aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm? Wouldn't like to meet that guy on the first tee with a golf club in his hand."

* * *

They divided out the work between them. Kate took the early stuff; the reports Vice and Narcotics had supplied to the Organized Crime sub-committee outlining the Genoveses' involvement in the street supply business in Washington Heights, Inwood, Eastern Harlem and Morningside Heights. CI chatter about Vulcan Simmons and their network of street level dealers.

Castle took the paper trail the FBI had worked up to tie Saul Gaggini in as one of the chief investors in Draco LLC, along with the preparatory work for a class action raised against one of Draco's investor companies.

The legal report outlined claims a group of plaintiffs had made about the harmful side effects of an anti-obesity drug called '_Prosoleptin_' that had failed spectacularly as an appetite suppressant. Every member of the class had experienced an increased desire to consume fatty, calorie-rich foods over the time period they had been on the new drug regimen, and the results had long outlasted the cessation of the medication. The theory seemed to be that chemicals in the pills had turned on, instead of off, the relevant receptors in the brain, leading to a significant weight gain in an already dangerously obese target group.

The court documentation presented in discovery listed clinical trial material that was flawed or incomplete. The falsified research papers outlined the early lab work and subsequent adverse results that showed rats actually got fatter, not thinner, while being given the drug, going so far as to turn on the weakest rat in the cage to feed their out of control eating habits when the food they'd been given ran out.

The case had failed to make it to trial because the named class member, the so-called 'indispensible party', had failed to file a motion to have the class certified following a road traffic accident in which her car had been run off the highway when she was en route to be deposed. The suspicion that she'd been deliberately targeted was clearly expressed in emails between the plaintiff's lawyer and the District Attorney's office, explaining her withdrawal from the suit and the subsequent collapse of the class action.

A replacement had been sought for the named plaintiff from among the other signed up members, but none had been forthcoming, leading to a voluntary dismissal of the lawsuit. Situations like this lurked on nearly every page. This guy was literally getting away with murder in some cases.

* * *

They stumbled on, eyes scanning line after line of text, witness statements, court documents, bank and phone records that spanned large chunks of time.

Castle eventually called out for food, took delivery of a stack of gourmet pizzas from a one-off place he knew nearby. The boxes arrived with the names of the each pie scrawled in black Sharpie across the top.

He slid a large '_Smiley Bros_' towards Ryan, who eyed the box suspiciously.

"What's in here, Castle?" he asked, taking a hesitant peak under the lid as if something live might jump out.

"Pastrami, banana peppers, Swiss and Provolone."

Ryan smiled with pleasure at the list of ingredients, satisfied with his dinner.

"Oh…and Honey mustard," added Castle with a devilish smirk. "For our Honey Milk."

Esposito hooted, and then leaned across the table to give Castle a high-five.

"Gee thanks," said Ryan, peeling a long string of cheese off the top and dropping it into his mouth.

Esposito had the somewhat strangely named '_Frankenstein_'.

"Yo, Castle, what you trying to say with this brother?" he asked the writer, tapping the lid with one eyebrow raised.

"Chicken marinated in Red Hot Cayenne Sauce, is what I'm saying Javi. You got a problem with that?" asked Castle, doing his best Bada Bing impression, while Kate looked on with her hands on her hips, head shaking in disapproval.

"Seriously, Castle? This your idea of a joke? Eating pizza while we hunt down the head of the Genovese crime family? So, what am _I_ eating? Come on, hit me with it," she said, rubbing her hands together.

"_We_…eh…we're sharing," explained Castle, somewhat reluctantly as he placed an extra-large pizza box down in front of Kate.

"What with the Genoveses? You invite them all in to eat this with us Castle because…" she trailed off, waving her hand over the box, "…this is _huge_. And wait, why is there nothing written on ours? What's this one called?"

Castle coughed, covered his mouth and then walked in a tight little circle, trying to delay the inevitable.

"What was that?" she asked, cupping her ear and grinning. "I didn't quite hear you."

"'_No Kissing Tonight'_," he finally owned up, his face reddening when the boys sniggered, bumping one another on the shoulder, mouths too full of food to actually say anything.

"Right about that," said Kate, lifting the lid and taking a sniff. "Don't tell me, garlic, right? And lots of it if I'm not mistaken."

"It'll keep vampires away," he offered with a shrug.

"It'll probably kill us all, the amount that's on here."

"I thought you liked garlic?"

"You know I do. Just not…by the bulb load," said Kate, wrinkling her nose.

But he'd tried, God Bless him, to keep them all happy, entertained, and well fed while they ploughed through the nightmare of paperwork in front of them.

* * *

"We need one thing," said Kate at length, wiping her mouth with a paper napkin. "There's…" she blew out a breath, "way too much stuff here and too little time to go through it all, track back sources and go over witness statements. No. We need to zero in on one thing. One crime we can prove from beginning to end, make a full, clear case to take to the DA and a judge. The rest we can tack on after, make sure this guy never sees the light of day again."

"What about a homicide?" asked Ryan, suddenly sitting up straight in his chair as he flicked back and forth through a stack of photographs.

"If you can get me one of those…yeah, that'd definitely do it," said Kate. "What have you got, Kevin?"

Ryan was looking at some color prints, staring intently at the story being told by each subsequent shot in a rapid-fire sequence. He pushed them aside and fished out a summary report he'd already read and dismissed, a report that had been prepared for the District Attorney's office outlining charges that were never filed against Carlo Gaggini for the murder of a rival family member called Bonino Lucese. The prosecutor alleged that Gaggini had run down his rival in the street over a gambling debt. But the case had collapsed when the only witness to the hit and run had refused to testify.

"That guy Mason had keeping an eye on Gaggini, the private investigator? There were photos, Beckett," said Ryan, sliding the bundle of 8x10's towards her. "Looks like Mason's private investigator was following Gaggini the night he ran Lucese down in the street. Dump chump even stopped, got out of his car to make sure he got the guy before he drove off. PI caught the whole thing on film."

"You're sure it's Bonino Lucese?"

"How many people do you think this Dragon guy ran over?" asked Ryan, trying to be funny.

"_Exactly_," said Esposito. "Could be a pretty big number. And that guy there," he said, pointing to the body lying in the street, "could be any dumb schmuck who pissed this psycho off."

"No, wait. Ryan's right," said Castle, looking at the photographs over Kate's shoulder. "Police report says corner of West 59th and Amsterdam. Look," he said, pointing to the green and white signs listing the street names on the corner lamppost.

"Bingo," said Kate, slapping her hand down flat on the table. "Okay, we've got a time and a date stamp placing him at the scene. We've got photographic evidence showing it's Gaggini. Ryan, get me a list of the vehicles Gaggini owns from the DMV, and Espo, can you pull up a rap sheet for Bonino Lucese. Guy's bound to have one with a surname like that, so we can use his Department funded portrait to confirm his identity. The witness we can track down later."

"If he hasn't already changed his name, or left town…" said Ryan.

"Or been dumped in the Hudson wearing concrete booties," added Castle helpfully.

Kate shot Castle a look, and then shook her head, a wry smile on her face.

"Got you, you bastard," she said, bringing her fist down on the photograph of Carlo Gaggini."

* * *

"You okay? "asked Castle, once the guys had left the room.

He sat down on the edge of the table in front of her and parked his feet on the rim of her chair.

"Yeah. I'm a little tired, and a whole lot bewildered that it's come down to this – my mom, killed by the mob." She shook her head in disbelief. "How're you doing?" she asked, smoothing her fingers down the sharp crease on the front of his suit pants from knee to ankle.

"Just…trying to look out for my girl," said Castle, nudging her thigh with the toe of his expensive, Italian leather shoe.

"Then help me draft this up for Gates so we can apply for those warrants tomorrow. I want into that compound before they know what's hit them. It's time we woke the Dragon, Castle."

_A/N: Dun dun dun! Less than a week to go! Need more Sneak Peeks ABC! Hope I get this finished in time. Thanks for all the reviews. Liv_


	71. Chapter 71 The Le Creuset Excuse Me

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 71 – The Le Creuset Excuse Me_**

Kate sent Ryan and Esposito home a little after ten to get some rest for the day that lay ahead.

The bullpen was quiet that time of night, the air still and heavy, and they toiled on alone, save for a solitary pair of detectives working what appeared to be an open and shut case of murder-suicide; the death of a brother and sister over in Chinatown. An honor killing, as the irony-laden title would have it.

Castle moved his chair closer to his partner's desk, while he and Kate drafted a detailed outline of Carlo Gaggini's crime for the State Prosecutor; namely the felony murder of Bonino Lucese, with the aggravating circumstances that the act was premeditated, planned out in detail, and that Gaggini had used his vehicle as a deadly weapon in the commission of an act of first degree murder, before finally fleeing the scene.

When Kate took Gates the report they had prepared, and their boss saw what they had, she called the riding ADA herself - pulled in the tall, slinky blonde, dressed in designer jeans, all the way from her apartment up on Riverside Drive, dragging her away from an illicit glass of Argentinian Malbec to rundown the charge sheet and get her professional opinion on it.

* * *

"Mr. Castle," purred the young woman, as she stalked across the floor towards him in a dangerous pair of Christian Louboutins. "We finally get to meet. I _adore_ your work," she added, extending one manicured hand for Castle to shake. Then she surprised the hell out of him by leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, her other hand landing on his waist..._beneath_ his jacket.

Castle swallowed, clearly uncomfortable with the attention this undeniably attractive woman was suddenly throwing his way.

"We should get a drink sometime, trade war stories," she suggested. "I'd love to hear how you conjure up your fascinating plot lines, and I'd be only too happy to trade a little legal advice to…ah…shall we say _spice up_ things up a bit," she laughed, flirting outrageously with the writer.

Castle coughed, too stunned to come up with a reply, a sudden lack of air making his necktie feel dangerously tight. He was off his game, and he knew it. Falling in love with Kate had blunted his edge of the female front, and the best thing about that, he realized with a surge of pride, was that he didn't even care.

"Have you met my partner, Detective Kate Beckett?" he managed to ask, stepping away from the pushy blonde when Kate reappeared from the ladies room, drying her hands on the front of her pants.

Kate looked tired, her eyes were shadowed, and Castle wanted nothing more than to drape her jacket over her shoulders and take her home to bed. But that would have to wait a little longer.

"Ah, yes, the famous Detective Beckett. Inspiration for Nikki Heat no less. You look so much more…_real_ in the flesh," she said, running her eyes up and down Kate's body in a manner that made Castle start to question the woman's sexuality.

Still, Kate had that effect on people of both sexes, he'd seen it before, so he could understand the lawyer's appraising gaze. However, if she put her hands on his girlfriend, he might be forced to reevaluate.

* * *

The foursome gathered in Gates' office. Castle stood behind Kate's chair, while Melissa Coutts-Martin stretched her long legs out in front of her, red nails tapping against the white page as she read over the charges, and then reviewed the inculpatory evidence they had gathered to support them.

Ryan had managed to pull a traffic cam photo to add to the as yet unsigned photographic evidence of the hit-and-run that they'd got from Senator Stinson's file. Esposito had trawled Michael Mason's financials to get a contact for the Private Investigator he'd hired to followed Carlo Gaggini, and luckily for them a name had resurfaced on a monthly retainer going back about a year. The guy was coming in in the morning to hand over his digital files and certify the printed copies for the court submission.

"This all looks good," said Melissa, nodding. "But are you really sure you want to take on the Genoveses?" she asked Kate, with a cat-like grin.

"The father, Saul Gaggini, ordered the hit that killed my mother. Carlo Gaggini, the son, ordered the attempted hit on me. That hired gun is still out there, and he's just killed again. To say this gets a little personal would be the understatement of the century, ADA Coutts-Martin," said Kate, sticking to the woman's formal title.

"Then I say we go for it," said Melissa, rubbing her hands together with glee. "Case like this could make names for us all," she added, in a sickening show of self-interest.

"I'm not interested in making a name for myself," said Kate coolly. "I want this guy in jail, and I want the officials who've supported him and his despicable clan of goons put behind bars for a very long time. It really is that simple. Now can you recommend a judge we can hit up for a warrant at this hour without completely pissing the guy off?"

Castle watched Kate, tired as she was, fight like a tigress, and put this unpleasant young woman in her place.

"I can do you one better. The Honorable Vivienne Harwood. She lives in my building. I'll knock on her door when I get home. Deal done, say no more. I borrowed her Le Creuset for a dinner party last week, that ought to give me a good excuse to visit."

"I'm sorry. Her _Le Creuset_?" asked Kate, shaking her head in bafflement.

"It's an enamel, cast-iron…"

"Castle, I know what a Le Creuset is," snapped Kate, "I just…from _a judge_?" she asked Melissa.

"I went to school with her daughter," shrugged the ADA. "Marymount School for Girls. Turns out all those sleepovers with the class nerd weren't such a waste of time after all."

"I see," said Kate, running a hand through her hair. "Okay then. I guess it's time you returned the…_Le Creuset_. Meet back here in the morning? Here's my number," said Kate, handing Melissa her business card. "Call me if you have any problem securing the warrants."

* * *

Melissa said goodbye to Captain Gates, who discreetly threw Castle an unexpected arch of her eyebrow to indicate her dislike of the young, ambitious lawyer.

Kate and Castle escorted the woman out to the elevator.

"You know it _is_ still early," said Melissa, aiming her comment at the writer. "We could go get that drink right now, if you want?" she suggested, with a hopeful lilt to her voice, reaching out to touch Castle's tie. "Or I have a lovely bottle of Malbec _breathing_ back at my place?"

Kate's jaw hit the floor, but she managed to recover her composure before Melissa could see the look of shock and unconcealed jealousy on her face. Her relationship with Castle had yet to be challenged in this way. She knew it would come eventually – approaches for over-zealous fans, maybe even the return of an ex-girlfriend or two – she'd expected that. But an _ADA_ on the _job_!

It was Castle who took control of the situation and put handsy Melissa in the picture once and for all.

He slipped his arm around Kate's shoulders and drew her up against his side, briefly pressing his lips to her hair, and then he said, "Thanks Melissa. But we've had a _really_ long day. All we want is to _go_ _home_, _soak_ in a nice hot _bath_, and then _fall_ into _bed_. But, hey, maybe some other time," he suggested, pursing his lips to keep the laughter in when he saw the look on the young woman's face.

Kate's fingers were working magic inside one of his back pants pockets, and she'd let her head drop down to lie against his shoulder, all pretense of reserved professionalism abandoned.

They were still standing there waiting for the elevator to arrive when Gates appeared on her own way home. She didn't even blink at the sight of her best detective and the writer cozying up to one another in front of this temptress of an ADA. She simply bid them all goodnight and decided to take the stairs.

Melissa was swallowed up by the elevator doors soon after, giving a stunned little wave to Kate and Castle before the slabs of metal slid closed.

The pair dissolved into a fit of giggles that had them doubled over, leaning on their knees, tears coming to their eyes as the silence of a near empty bullpen devoured their laughter.

"Garlic might ward of vampires," noted Kate, when she got her breath back enough to be able to speak. "But it clearly doesn't work on over-sexed members of the legal profession."

_A/N: I don't know where Melissa Coutts-Martin came from, but damn did I enjoy that! ;) And two chapters in one day! Liv_


	72. Chapter 72 Not So Cool As I Thought

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 72 – Not So Cool As I Thought_**

The sidewalk was deserted when they finally left the Twelfth, the streets nearly empty of traffic. The stars were out in full force on this clear sky night; a dark expanse like black velvet spread above them, scattered with Swarovski crystals, tiny pinpoints of light signposting galaxies far, far away, dimmed only slightly by the ambient glow of city lights.

"Wanna walk for a little bit and then grab in a cab?" suggested Castle, tugging playfully on Kate's hand.

They were both tired, but they'd been cooped up indoors for most of the day, so the fresh air was welcome.

"It's a beautiful night, Beckett," he sing-songed, as he walked her backwards to the nearest wall, resting her up against the granite in the shadow of a pillar to press his mouth against hers for their first kiss in hours.

He ran his fingers up and down her sides while his mouth did the work, skimming the warmth of her ribs over the soft fabric of her white business shirt, while Kate moaned softly in his ear, turning her head away from him as he moved his mouth to the pale column of her neck, sucking lightly on her skin as her hips began a rhythmic dance against his.

"You promised a soak in the tub and then bed. In front of a _very_ reliable witness, Mr. Castle," Kate reminded him, with a breathless tug on his belt. "She's talking to a judge right now. Want me to phone her up and get her legal opinion on breach of promise?" teased Kate, pulling out her phone while Castle's knee worked its way between her legs.

"That won't be necessary," said Castle, hastily taking her phone off her and dropping it into his pocket. "Your idea's _way_ better, and my car is right over there," he said, pointing to the spot he'd secured hours ago on the far side of the street. He tugged her away from the shelter of the wall to head for the car.

With his left hand on her waist, he switched her right hand to his right hand, so she was walking slightly ahead of him, her back pressed to his front as they made their way across four lanes, giggling from tiredness, half-drunk with love and the thought of a warm bed waiting for them at home.

The car came out of nowhere, a black, low-slung Audi with blue-white LED headlights studded above the front fender, burning like a brilliant constellation. The tires were fat and wide, extremely low profile, and smoke rose off the asphalt as the driver gunned the engine and the vehicle barreled towards them along the empty street, light blinding, eating up distance in fractions of a second as it slewed from side-to-side.

"Gun!" yelled Kate, as a muzzle flash punctured the darkness.

Castle pulled her back into him, twisting their bodies in mid-air as he turned them away from the source of the shot in what seemed like super slow-motion, his back to the car, his body shielding Kate, before they landed hard a second later on the dirty roadway a few feet from the squeal of spinning tires.

Kate cried out, but got to her knees, her gun raised to return fire. But the street was one-way, and the attacker had no means to perform a one-eighty. So he simply sped through the next junction on a red light, narrowly missing a passing cab, the driver's face a picture of sudden angry shock through the windshield at this crappy, predictable start to his shift.

And then silence.

* * *

Kate yelled to her partner for her phone. Dispatch on speed dial, still holding her gun when the call connected, Castle hovering beside her, both their hearts going crazy, shock and adrenalin turning them wide-eyed and antsy.

"Central this is One-Lincoln-Forty. Shots fired from a passing vehicle in the vicinity of the Twelfth Precinct. Please advise all units to be on the lookout for a black, Audi A6, New York license plate number Golf Alpha Foxtrot 3499, last seen travelling south on 2nd Avenue. Suspect is male, Caucasian, approximately thirty to forty years old. Be aware suspect is armed."

"Copy that One-Lincoln-Forty. Standby."

There was silence for a couple of seconds, broken only by the sound of keystrokes on the other end of the open line as the Dispatcher recorded the details of the incident.

Castle scanned the street for witnesses, and could see nobody nearby. He was practically bouncing on his toes with impatience for Kate to be done with the call.

"One-Lincoln-Forty this is Central. Do you require back-up?" asked the Dispatcher.

"Negative Central. Suspect has fled the scene."

"Understood. Standby for further information," said the woman's disembodied voice, while she issued a force-wide alert. "Suspect vehicle details have been relayed to all units and foot patrols. Follow-up will be coordinated via the Twelfth."

"Understood. One-Lincoln-Forty standing down," said Kate tiredly, shutting off the call.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" asked Castle, tugging on her sleeve. "Shouldn't we go after him? My car is…"

"A civilian vehicle," said Kate, shaking her head at him.

"I was going to say _fast_, but…"

"He's gone, Castle. Let the patrols deal with it."

"Well, shouldn't we at least go back inside, report it to the desk Sergeant?" asked Castle, his eyes radiating concern.

"No," Kate shook her head tiredly. "I already called it in. It's been logged. We can write a statement down at home, I'll call it in from there, get someone to look for a shell casing… It's too exposed to hang around out here," she said, glancing up and down the street. "Let's just go home, Castle. Please? Home?" she said, tugging on his hand to get him moving across the street.

* * *

Their soak in the tub was forgotten as they crawled into bed beside one another. Kate had lit a couple of candles on either nightstand, eyes too tired to face anything brighter. Castle brought a yellow legal pad to bed, drafted up a thorough account of the incident outside the precinct, and then they had both signed and dated it, leaving it out by the kitchen counter for morning so they wouldn't forget to take it with them to work.

Castle double-checked the locks on the front door, and then he came back to bed to find Kate curled up on her side waiting for him, the jerky dance of a flickering flame playing across her face, sleepy eyes watching him undress and slide beneath the sheets.

"You saved me again tonight," she said, the words punctuated by the lurch of a sob from her chest, as a single fat tear leaked down her face. "Still keeping score?"

"No, baby, no," cooed Castle, drawing her into his arms. "It was a bad shot, Kate. Guy was going to fast. Never would have hit you," he said, fighting to believe his own bullshit.

Because the truth was that it had been too close for comfort, and a few feet either way and one of them might be dead.

"This is getting too close, Rick," she whispered, echoing his thoughts in the dark.

She let him rock her back and forth to the sound of their breathing as they tried to hold onto some kind of hope.

"I know it is. But we know what we have to do. Tomorrow, we get those warrants and then we finish it. We prove Maddox, Cedric Marks, or whatever he's calling himself this week, is Gaggini's hired gun, and we find him too, lock him up or finish him off."

"And what if it doesn't stop? Castle, sometimes I feel like these men are like robots – you knock them down and another one just springs up in their place, and they just keep coming; relentless and invincible."

"Kate, you can't think like that. But if we had to…"

"What?" asked Kate, leaning up on her elbow to look at him.

"There's always WITSEC," he said with quiet amusement, though really only half joking.

Kate's first reaction was to laugh, listening to his amused tone mixed with the drama and the language of conspiracy she was so used to hearing from him. But when she looked at him again…

"No. _No way_. Absolutely not. I am _not_ disrupting your family's lives like that," said Kate vehemently, pulling herself all the way upright to face him. "There's RICO and the FBI before we get anywhere near needing witness protection."

"We may not have a choice, Kate. Have you thought of that? This is the _mafia_ we're talking about. Freaking Cosa Nostra. Part of me can't believe my luck – the dumb part, the writer part, that is. But the smarter part of my brain is thinking that I always thought this would be _way_ _cooler_ than it's turning out to be. 'Cause this is nothing like the Sopranos, and Dr. Burke…he's no Jennifer Melfi either. Shit, after tomorrow we could be screwed. Worse than we already are," he warned, panic and the comedown from adrenalin starting to seize him too.

"Rick, absolutely not. And if you mention that again, I'm leaving, you hear? I am _not_ dragging your family away from their home and their friends to change their names and start over in some Godforsaken town in North Slope Alaska."

Tears were freely rolling down her cheeks now, and she cried through the words, exhausted, both mentally and physically.

"Hey, shhh now," soothed Castle, pulling her to him again, wrapping her stiff body up tightly in his arms until she stopped resisting him and gave in.

He'd let himself get freaked out by another near miss. His stupid mouth wasn't helping and he needed to get a grip on himself to keep them both calm.

"Okay, no WITSEC," he promised. "But if you leave me I will only come and find you," he joked to try and settle her down, but really meaning every word. "You won't shake me off, Beckett. Resistance is futile."

"I hate this," she complained against his chest, voicing frustration and fear both.

"I know you do. You don't deserve it, Kate. _You_ of all people," he soothed, his voice a gentle rumble in his chest.

"I love you," she whispered, touching his jaw. "Whatever happens tomorrow or the day after, I love you, Castle."

"You know that goes double for me. But _nothing_ is going to happen, Kate. We're going to be fine. We have a future to plan, remember? So start working on that. Not ways to evade me. Because you're stuck with me, Kate Beckett."

The words 'til death do us part' hung heavily in the air, spoken by neither of them, but understood by both.

"And the only way you're changing your name is if it's to become Kate Castle, you hear?" he said forcefully, to a slow intake of breath from Kate. "Now there's a thought to really scare you," he added, tweaking her sides until she let out a helpless giggle. "That's my girl. Now how about we get some sleep, or that nymphomaniac of an ADA, Melissa Coutts-whatchamacallit, will think we spent the entire night doing a little mattress dancing. And _frankly_, I don't want to encourage her."

Kate's breathing finally evened out, and Castle slid down the bed, taking her with him, turning them on their sides so sleep would come faster as the final candle guttered and died, plunging the bedroom into solid, blinding darkness.

* * *

Castle woke with '_the fear'_ an hour later; that unexplained terror that invades your heart, the sinking feeling that tears you from sleep with a jolt, tightening its icy hand around your throat as you struggle to place it, to give it a pigeonhole in your life, to put it in perspective.

Kate's phone had chimed, alerting a text message and waking them both. She rolled over to read it.

'_Warrants signed. See you at the Precinct at eight sharp. Missy C-M_,' the message read.

The game was on.

_A/N: I get the sense that some readers are disillusioned with the direction this story has taken, and I'm so disappointed by that. There is a reason I don't do this for a living, and perhaps this is it. Please remember this started out as a post-Always one-shot. I never intended to solve Johanna Beckett's murder._

_Tying four seasons worth of other people's plot lines together into a coherent finale is unbelievably difficult given the timeframe I've forced on myself. I'd love to hear suggestions for alternate resolutions if readers have other ideas. But if you think my plot is ridiculous, please remember that this is Castle, and can I just say Zombie hoards, frozen heads, fairytale killers, Steam Punk, and ice bullets anyone? ;)_

_And why did Beckett conveniently start wearing a radiation meter out of the blue in Setup, or did I miss something? _

_Liv_


	73. Chapter 73 Back Me Up

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 73 – Back Me Up_**

They stopped for coffee. It was part of their new morning routine, and Kate refused to let the threat they were facing rob them of that simple pleasure.

Coffee was their thing. And no one came between Kate Beckett and her coffee.

Going in to get it together now gave them more enjoyment than Castle had hoped it might. He had assumed he would miss seeing the smile on Kate's face when he ceremoniously presented her with a cup at the Precinct each morning. But _now,_ oh yes, _now_ he got to stand in line with his beautiful partner by his side while they waited for their order to be made together. Kate cuddled up to him while they played 'guess the day job' as they made up stories about their fellow customers to kill time. Castle's suggestions were ten times more outrageous than Kate's as he looked for new ways to make her laugh. Because making Kate Beckett laugh was his new favorite hobby.

So it was fun, this new routine, and he still got his smile...and then some.

Today, they needed the fun almost more than the caffeine. Both of them cast furtive glances over their shoulders as they made the short walk from the car to the coffee shop. Loud noises – like the banging of the coffee filter against the stainless steel knock-box when the young barista tipped out hot grinds to replace then with fresh ones – set them on edge.

But there was careful, and there was fear-driven stupidity, and a fine line stood between both. So they pep-talked one another all the way to the Precinct, and by the time they entered the bullpen they were both fired up and on the same page.

* * *

Melissa Coutts-Martin was already there holding court. It was hard to miss the tall, slender ADA in the bright red wrap dress that said '_look at me or else'_, as she lounged on a nearby desk, surrounded by a fawning circle of males, some in Uniform and some not.

Kate gave her a brief wave and a nod as she headed to her own desk, eager to catch up with the guys, who it seemed had already heard about their near miss outside the Twelfth the night before.

"Beckett, shoulda called," said Esposito, giving her his best big brother, tough-boy frown, macho energy turned up to the max.

"We were tired, just wanted to go home, Espo. I called it in. It was over in a flash."

"Yeah, literally," laughed Castle, pursing his lips in cowed silence at the displeased look he got from Ryan.

"You see much?" asked Esposito, ignoring Castle completely.

"Got the license plate, make and model. Guy was white, average looking, maybe thirties. Hmm, Castle?" she asked her partner. "No one we'd seen before."

"I'll pull an address from the DMV," said Ryan, taking the notes Castle handed him with all the details jotted down.

* * *

Gates came out of her office at that point and asked them all to join her in the conference room – the ADA, Ryan and Esposito, Kate and Castle.

"For those of you who don't already know, this is Melissa Coutts-Martin, our new ADA," said Gates, specifically addressing Ryan and Esposito.

Esposito was already giving the woman the eye, a sensual smirk on his face while his dark eyes danced up and down the attorney's body; giftwrapped, like a parcel begging to be opened, in her slinky, red dress.

Kate caught Esposito's eye, and gave him a glare on behalf of her girlfriend.

"Melissa is going to brief us on the scope of the warrants we've secured for today's operation, and then I'm going to tell you just how this is going to work. Melissa," she said, giving the young woman the floor.

"Morning all," said the perky ADA, letting her gaze linger briefly on Castle's face, before she switched it to Kate's and said, "Hope I didn't wake you both with that text message. I'm a bit of a night owl, tend to lose track of time. Sorry," she said insincerely.

Kate bit the inside of her cheek to keep from slapping the smug look off her face. Castle's face was frozen, his eyes rooted forwards, looking anywhere but near Captain Gates or Kate for that matter.

"_Anyway_," Melissa continued brightly, her eyes now dancing over Javier's well-defined chest, "if we take the Search Warrant first. It's limited to the Gaggini compound out on Long Beach. The address is as listed on the warrant. You are entitled to enter any and all buildings within the confines of that compound boundary line, including outhouses, summerhouses, pool houses, garages and sheds. Vehicles are included in the list of property you can search, and if appropriate, seize."

"What about locked rooms, closets, and safes?" asked Kate.

"You provided sufficient probable cause to cover vehicles owned or used by the suspect, Carlo Gaggini, so if a garage is locked, you may ask for it to be opened. With relation to the other circumstances Detective Beckett has outlined, you will require the permission of the home owner or someone who can reasonably be said to be living there as if it were their home, to open locked closets, rooms and the like. You may inspect and seize property that had been left in plain sight, if it is germane to this case – including laptops, files, bank or phone records that might prove any relationship between the accused and the victim. Although the photographs already in evidence that depict the crime in action are pretty conclusive by themselves."

"And what about the Arrest Warrant?" asked Gates, keen to hurry Melissa along, since she could see reinforcements arriving out in the bullpen through the conference room windows. "Take us through that."

"Well, you know who you're looking for. The defendant is one Carlo Battista Gaggini, born July Fifteenth 1968, currently of Long Beach, Nassau County, New York. I had multiple copies of the warrant issued, simply addressed to the class of '_detective_'. That means it can be executed by any of your team, should Gaggini not be exactly where you're expecting to find him. The arrest warrant has also been endorsed by a judge from Nassau County Supreme Court giving you jurisdiction in that geographical area."

"On that point," said Gates. "Today is Friday; our target's holy day. We know from the reports made by the PI who has been following him for months that he visits Father Gerard, the priest at Sacred Heart Church, at noon every Friday. They take tea together, shoot the breeze, Father Gerard hears his confession, and then he goes on his merry criminal way without a stain on his soul," said Gates dryly.

"So we take him in the Church?" asked Esposito.

"It's a contained space. Quiet. Private. His guard will be down, and the reports suggest that he only takes one or two of his men to Church with him. Very often they remain in the car outside. We have to assume they will all be armed. Make sure you warn your teams."

"Can we co-ordinate the search of the compound and the arrest to take place at the same time?" asked Kate. "Word's gonna get out the minute we take Gaggini in, and they're gonna start destroying or moving evidence."

"Detective Beckett makes a good point. That's why I've drafted in extra manpower. Some of our own guys off leave, and a couple of teams from the 14th Precinct. I held back the inevitable courtesy call to Long Beach PD until early this morning. We need to keep as tight a lid on this thing as possible, because frankly, we have no idea who is in the pay of whom at this point."

"Who else have we got?" asked Esposito.

"LBPD have agreed to support us with their TARU unit. They'll be filming the search and seizure at the compound. We may need that video evidence to prove everything was done by the book when this thing eventually goes to trial. We can't afford to leave any loopholes open on this one. Understand?"

Gates drew her meeting to a close and they all wandered outside for short break until all the extra bodies had assembled and could be briefed as one unit.

* * *

Kate's team retired to the break room to refuel on coffee, and Melissa tagged along, obviously keen to get her red-hot talons into Javier this time.

"Hey, Javi," said Kate, biting her lip, devilment twinkling in her eyes. "Lanie stay at yours last night?" she asked, watching the Hispanic Detective's face fall. "'Cause she said she'd give you a necklace I wanted to borrow," lied Kate.

Castle stood back, smiling into his cup of coffee, enjoying the floorshow Kate was orchestrating. She wasn't a bitchy woman by any stretch of the imagination, and she barely engaged in Precinct gossip, despite always being extremely well versed in whatever scuttle was doing the rounds. He assumed that just came from being a good detective. But as he watched her cheekily bating Esposito and destroying any chance Melissa had of getting her claws into him, he caught a glimpse of the Kate Beckett her friend Maddie Queller must have known back in High School; the confident, carefree teenager she must have been before her world came crashing down around her ears, and she was forced to grow up far too soon. And it made him wistful, and a little sad. He wished he'd known her back then too.

* * *

He wandered over to lean on the counter beside her when Ryan and Esposito commandeered the flirtatious ADA.

"Hey, partner. How're you holding up?" he asked, bumping her shoulder playfully.

"Good. You?" she asked, her eyes still following the rather obvious antics of Melissa 'Missy' Coutts-Martin, as the lawyer crossed and uncrossed her legs while the wrap-over skirt of her dress performed the death-defying feat of remaining closed.

"Lanie'd be proud of you," he leaned down to whisper in Kate's ear, stirring a curl of hair near her temple.

"She'd kill _her_ with her bare hands, you mean," smirked Kate, "and then feed her to the ducks."

"Thought ducks were vegetarian?" mused Castle.

"Omnivores," corrected Kate. "They eat fish, mollusks, worms…"

"And dead ADA, apparently," added Castle, nudging Kate's hip with his own while she stifled a giggle.

"It's good to see you laugh," said Castle, smiling as he watched her, the others in the room forgotten as the two partners flirted with one another.

"All your fault," she teased, throwing him a naughty look, her lashes lowering seductively.

"Guilty as charged," he murmured in reply, ghosting his pinkie up and down the outside seam of her black pants while she stared helplessly at his mouth.

They'd been doing this all morning, since they'd got up and stared at one another across the expanse of the bed they now seemed loath not to share; flirting, diverting, both playing along in this game of distraction that was designed to keep them calm, and stop them from spiralling at the enormity of today's task.

He'd watched her dress that morning with his jaw somewhere near the floor. She was wearing a fine black V-neck tee, linen he thought, with a small pocket over her left breast and a light grey camisole underneath that hugged her body and shone through the top layer, distracting him some more. Then she had donned a pair of fitted black cargo pants over her black underwear, the ankles tucked into flat, lace-up, commando boots that reached up to mid-calf. The whole getup screamed _badass_.

The thigh holster she'd added on top of that, to store her extra piece, had just about killed him off once and for all. The last time he could remember her wearing it was during the sniper case when her PTSD had returned with a vengeance. They weren't even together back then, so it hadn't exactly been the best time to tell her how hot it made him. But he sure made up for lost time in the bedroom that morning.

"I'll wear it later, if you're good," whispered Kate, reading his mind as a pleasant flush warmed his cheeks and she brushed her hip against his side, letting him feel the solid mass of the thigh holster and her weapon as she passed by.

Gates appeared at the door to summon them all out to the bullpen, and their brief respite was over.

* * *

A buzz of chatter and nerves of anticipation travelled around the room like an electrical current. The bullpen looked like a squad room given all the extra bodies.

Gates addressed the assembled crowd of men and a few women, some dressed in uniform and some in dark civilian clothes like Kate and the boys. High levels of testosterone and adrenalin were palpable in the air.

"Listen up, people," she began, cutting the hum of chitchat to zero in an instant. "We have an important job to do today. Detective Velasquez is handing out briefing notes as I speak, outlining your role in today's operation. It is _essential_ that we act quickly to take this individual into custody before word spreads on the grapevine. So no idle chatter over the radio, no texting, and _no_ Tweeting. Are we clear?"

A low rumble of agreement rolled back toward her.

"We split into two teams, and act simultaneously. The coordinated operation will take place at twelve hundred hours. Team Alpha will be led by Detective Beckett. I will be riding along to offer assistance, if required. We'll be taking Jones, Garcia, Karpowski, Evans, Samuels and Drake along as back-up. Our job is to go to the church that our target frequents every Friday, and bring him in. No muss, no fuss. I want a clean, textbook arrest. The SWAT team will meet us on site," said the small woman with the large dose of charisma.

She surveyed the room to make sure everyone was still paying attention, before carrying on with her briefing.

"Okay. Team Bravo will be led by Detectives Ryan, aided by Detective Esposito. The remaining officers who have yet to be assigned a task force…you're with them. A larger SWAT team will be waiting for you when you reach the Gaggini family compound."

She looked down at her watch.

"We leave in approximately half an hour. Vans will be waiting for us in the alley out back. Use the time you have left efficiently. Get up to speed with your team leaders, make sure you know your role inside and out. Listen to what you are told and do only that. And if you need to visit the bathroom, I suggested you go now," she added with a smile. "We saddle up in half an hour, people. So make it count," she finished on a roar.

* * *

Castle had stood next to Kate watching the whole briefing process go down, wondering with a sinking heart if he fit anywhere at all. When Gates failed to mention his name for either of the teams, he assumed he'd been benched, forced to sit out the big denouement, despite his key role in driving it to this point.

"Mr. Castle, a word?"

Gates' peeved voice called to him across the bullpen floor, and Kate threw him a worried glance before resuming the briefing she was giving her specially selected group of officers.

Castle filed into Gates' office prepared to be relegated to a desk until the entire operation was over. So when she handed him a gun, he could hardly believe his luck.

"I understand you are somewhat proficient with a firearm, Mr. Castle. You can tell one end of a weapon from the other, I assume?" she asked, without the slightest hint of humor or favor.

"I…uh…" he stammered, feeling the smooth synthetic polymer frame and the comforting weight of the Glock 17 she'd just placed in the palm of his hand.

"Well? Is that a yes or a no? I don't have all day," she snapped, enjoying his floundering discomfort, he was sure.

"Yes, Sir. I have visited the range with Detective Beckett in the past, and…yes, not a problem, Sir."

"I'm sure you are aware that the NYPD does not routinely arm civilian consultants, Mr. Castle, and neither do I. This is to be used for back-up only. Do you understand? For dire emergencies; in self-defense or the defense of your partner or another member of the team. I do not want to see you waving that thing about willy-nilly. This is not cowboys and Indians. Are we clear?"

"No willy-nilly," said Castle dumbly, shaking his head from side-to-side in a rather moronic fashion.

Because, holy hell, Victoria Gates had just given him a gun!

The Captain eyed him suspiciously, wondering if he was toying with her or if he really was that moronic.

"There are seventeen rounds in that clip, the chamber is empty. Keep it that way unless you're forced to use it," she said coldly, handing over a holster to go with the pistol. "You will assist Detective Beckett in whatever manner she sees fit today. If she tells you to stay in the van, then that's where you stay. I am leaving that entirely up to her."

Gates crossed her arms and leaned back against her desk, narrowing her eyes at him again.

"I think you are a pain in the ass most of the time, Mr. Castle. But I have watched you put countless hours of time and effort into helping your partner and her team solve this case. Beckett believes in you, and I believe in her. Do not let me down today, or it will be the last thing you will do in my Precinct. Are we clear?"

Castle nodded, too excited to get out and show Kate what Gates had just given him to trust his mouth not to trip him up again.

"Dismissed," said Gates with a wave of her hand and something that may or may not have been a smile.

She likes me, he thought giddily, wisely keeping his opinion to himself.

* * *

Kate's eyes were on him immediately he left the Captain's office. She beckoned him out into the hallway.

"What was that all about?" she asked, laying a concerned hand on his arm.

"Gates, she uh…gave me this," he said, holding up the pistol like a little kid at Christmas.

"Shit, she _armed you_, Castle?" stage-whispered Kate, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one else heard. "That's got to break some department rules and regs? She…_jeez_, Rick," said Kate, stunned.

"Told you I'd wear her down," smirked the writer, entirely too pleased with himself.

"What else did she say?"

He vaguely considered lying, but this was Kate, and she'd only read his mind anyway.

"The gun is for emergencies only. I've to do whatever you tell me. Blah, blah…waste of space Castle, but Beckett likes you…blah, blah, blah."

"She did _not _say that," hissed Kate, narrowing her eyes at him, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Okay, maybe she didn't use the word '_like_'. It was something about you believing in me. Same difference," he shrugged, tugging at her wrist to draw her nearer.

"Well, consider me officially stunned. _Damn_. Who'd have thought?" she said, shaking her head.

"So, what _do _you want me to do?" asked Castle, just as Gates called out to marshal the troops, and they were forced to go back in to join the others.

"Just stay close. Have my back, like I said yesterday. Stay close, but stay behind me, listen to any instructions I give, but otherwise…just be my partner, Castle. I trust you with my life. Doesn't get any simpler than that," said Kate, pushing through the crowd of men to make her way downstairs.

_A/N: Thank you so much for indulging my panic attack over the storyline, and for all the amazing, encouraging reviews and messages yesterday. You really make it all worthwhile. I can't say enough about how reviews drive you forward. Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. _

_And that Sneak Peek - I'm still grinning like an idiot. Wow! Say no more. Liv_


	74. Chapter 74 Body Heat

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 74 – Body Heat_**

Four unmarked minivans stood idling in the alleyway behind the Twelfth, spewing stinking blue diesel exhaust fumes into the hot summer air.

The teams split up, following their colleagues into the relevant vehicle. Heavy boots scraped against the gritty concrete of the alley, accompanied by the sound of creaking leather, the rip and stick of Velcro as Kevlar vests were fixed in place, and the click and clash of weaponry as it was safely stowed before departure.

Kate and Castle wished Esposito and Ryan good luck. Brief rounds of backslapping and manly hugs were exchanged before they had to go their separate ways.

"Hey, Beckett," yelled Ryan, looking like a nervous kid about to take on the school bully as he turned to say one last thing before he and Esposito boarded their ride, "See you guys back here. Drinks are on me tonight."

Ryan wanted to leave no room for doubt that they would all be back together, celebrating a successful day's work in a few hours time, and in that moment, Kate was never so grateful for her amazing team; her little NYPD family.

"No, Kevin," she shook her head in reply.

He looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"Drinks are on me," she corrected with a nod.

Kevin's smile broke out like the sun from behind a cloud, relieved, grey eyes turning blue. As they parted he threw her a small salute.

And then they hit the road.

* * *

Castle had been tempted to call shotgun just for fun, but somehow it seemed inappropriate, so he filed into the van behind Kate, and took the seat on the opposite side from her. He texted Alexis, told her he'd be gone all day; that they were working a case and he'd call her when they were done. No details, just a point of connection he felt the urge to reach out and make. He told her he loved her, and then he turned off his cell phone and tucked it into the front pocket of his vest leaving his fingers free to fidget.

The vans travelled in convoy towards Centre Street en route towards the Brooklyn Bridge. The journey out to Long Beach of close to thirty miles would take them just less than an hour depending on late Friday morning traffic.

Kate stared out the window for the first ten or so minutes, not talking, trying not to think too hard, just watching the city of Manhattan go by and then disappear behind them as they crossed over the bridge into Brooklyn, picking up the I-278 Brooklyn-Queens Expressway and then the L.I.E., followed by the Wan Wyck Expressway out towards JFK.

Castle nudged her boot with his to draw her attention as they skirted the perimeter of the airport.

"You okay?" he asked, licking his dry lips, his knee having started up a ceaseless jig somewhere back near Morris Park, Queens, all of its own accord.

The rest of the guys in the back of the van were having an animated discussion about baseball. The Yankees had just beaten the Blue Jays 10-7 to stay on top. But all the talk was about B.J. Upton's three-run walk-off homer in the bottom of the ninth, finishing off a furious six-run rally to give the Rays a 7-4 win over the Red Sox, leaving them with the chance of a miracle to make the playoffs with only twelve games to go.

Their rowdy chatter screened any private conversation Kate and Castle might want to have, though they kept their voices low to avoid the ears of Captain Gates, who was sitting just behind the driver.

"I'm doing okay," nodded Kate, her eyes softening as she watched him, taking in the layer of anxiety that had settled over her normally over-confident partner. "This is what we train for, Castle," she reminded him. "And it's what you and I have been working towards for a really long time. Try to focus on that…oh, and don't forget to breath," she added with a smile.

She nodded her head silently, clearly having some internal discussion with herself before she followed up with, "You know…uh…maybe we could go away for a few days? I mean, after…when this is all over…? We could take a trip somewhere, get better acquainted," she smirked, seeing the delight dancing in Castle's eyes, his love making her bold and strong.

He knew she was playing him, still trying to distract him from the nerves and anxiety that must be tightening every muscle in his face right now. But he didn't care. Because Kate Beckett was planning, she was planning a future for them, and that was such an amazing feeling he couldn't have described it if he'd tried.

"I'd like that," replied Castle, with the understatement of the century. But it was all he could come up with when she smiled at that like him and he was forced to grin crazily in return.

"So that's agreed then? We're taking a trip. Our first vacation together," smiled Kate, as a Boeing 777-300 took off above them bound for London, contrails painting the summer sky.

"You want to plan it? I'll give you free reign," he offered. "Anything goes except freezing temperatures and war zones."

"War zones, I get," bantered Kate, managing to distract herself now too, as Rockaway Boulevard gave way to the Nassau Expressway. "But what's with the low temperature thing?"

"Eh…you can't have forgotten that time we almost froze to death in a freezer, Beckett?"

"No, but we didn't," she said matter-of-factly. "Thankfully, you had enough body fat to keep us both warm," she joked, laughing hard at his shocked expression.

"Did you just call me _fat?_" he hiss-whispered, as Captain Gates turned around to glance at him with a look of amusement on her face.

Not as discreet as they thought then.

"Sorry. I meant body _heat_, not body _fat_," she quickly corrected, pressing her lips together to ward of another smile, though she forgot about her eyes, which were completely giving her away.

"_Right,_ body _heat_. Mmm-hmm. Like Nikki Heat? I like it. Still, anywhere cold would involve far too many clothes. If we're going on vacation, I want one suitcase between us and very little of any of the clothes will be yours. In fact, the smaller your items of clothing the better."

"So, let me get this straight. You want _me_ to plan a vacation, but you're more or less _telling me_ where you want us to go. And although I'm the girl in this unorthodox pairing, you want to be able to bring more clothes than me?"

"That about sums it up," said Castle, evidently quite pleased with himself.

"Yeah, dream on, Castle," grinned Kate, sobering up when she checked out the window and realized they'd just left Inwood, and were headed for the Atlantic Beach Bridge which would take them directly out onto the barrier island of Long Beach.

* * *

The convoy split up when they reached Beech Street, and the chatter died to a restless silence. The Sacred Heart Church was further into town, while the Gaggini family compound was down towards Ocean View Avenue, close to Long Beach Park and the rolling waves of the Atlantic Ocean.

Kate got out her notes, looked at the face of Carlo Battista Gaggini for the umpteenth time; the squat features crowded together, filling out pockmarked olive skin; gnarly, like a baked potato that had been in the oven too long. She studied the man's tattoos, and his hard, brown eyes, the thick, dark head of hair that underscored his Italian heritage. She committed it all to memory, and then she folded the rap sheet away and closed her eyes, trying to quiet her heart.

"Kate…I…"

Castle leaned over towards her looking earnest, clearly with something to say, something on his mind that was going to have to wait because the driver had just pulled up in an empty lot between a boarded-up Dairy Queen and a decidedly down market sex shop with a garish, pink and green neon sign flickering '_XXX pornos'_ in the window out front.

The buildings either side gave them good cover from the road, and they were only a 100 yards away from the side entrance to the Church. They sat in the van for a couple of minutes more before a black, matt, almost windowless tank of a thing – a Lenco BearCat armored personnel carrier - drew to a halt beside them.

The SWAT team had arrived.

It was 11.56am. Game on.

_A/N: Splitting this in two so it doesn't read too long. To the anonymous reviewer "Guest" who apologized and asked if I'm in the criminal justice field, I can't answer questions directly if you're not logged in. But the answer is no – just research._

_And then we come to Sneak Peek 5 – so hilarious. I'm beyond excited now. Liv_


	75. Chapter 75 The Beginning of The End

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 75 – The Beginning of The End_**

***Warning for language in this chapter***

"Okay, guys? _Guys!_ Listen up," said Kate, turning around to address the team from the front of the van, her agitated fingers fumbling to turn down the volume on her UHF radio.

Silence fell over the crew. Eager, pumped up faces were raised to hers, paired with excited, anxious eyes as one-by-one they fixed their resolute, intense gazes upon her.

"Local patrol unit just radioed ahead. Gaggini's car is parked outside the Church. And today we're in luck. The goon squad has been left inside the vehicle with a couple of windows cracked like the dogs they are. So, first order of duty is taking these guys into custody. _Quietly_," she warned.

Kate looked over the assembled faces, picking a team like it was high school all over, and she wanted the strongest guys on her side.

"Okay, Jones and Drake, I want you two to take the driver. Garcia and Evans, you're on the spare part in the back. Keep low, have your weapons drawn. We need this to go down quickly and cleanly. Cuff 'em, bring them back here, and for God's sake don't forget to confiscate all cell phones, pagers, whatever. We do _not_ want them alerting their boss, or anyone else for that matter. Be as quiet as possible. Gag them if necessary."

* * *

Kate pursed her lips, controlling her heart rate with long, slow breaths through her nose. She was aware of Castle watching her, and she found his steady, proud gaze oddly comforting.

"The rest of you, fall in behind me. We let the guys take out the help, and then we file up to the Church. This is a place of worship. Do _not_ forget that. We're here to take one guy. In and out." Kate snapped her fingers for emphasis.

"Be respectful. Karpowski and I will clear the place. Castle and Captain Gates will back us up. If there are civilians inside, I want you to usher them away as quickly as possible," she said, addressing Castle specifically. "We do not want some old lady with her Rosary in her hand making it on the local TV news beside a guy in a SWAT uniform. I want low-key. Not to spark off a crime war. So be firm, be polite, but be discreet."

Castle nodded, his expression gravely serious, desperate not to let Kate down today. His hand drifted to the weapon Gates had given him. He touched the Hogue rubber grip with the tip of his finger to reassure himself that it was still there as he watched Kate carry on issuing orders.

* * *

"SWAT will take up defensive, flanking positions. They're here as a failsafe in case we meet with anything unexpected – locked doors, a hostage scenario, more bodies or firepower than we're expecting. Otherwise we keep it as clean, sharp and simple as we can. Got it?" she asked, searching the faces for agreement and understanding.

Rumbles of '_yes, Beckett'_, '_yes, ma'am'_ and the odd, '_yes, sir'_, issued back towards her.

"Good." She looked down at her father's watch, chewing the inside of her cheek. "Then let's do this. Be safe, everybody," she said, turning to slide open the door of the van before jumping down to the concrete below.

Gates came out after her, closely followed by Castle. The four officers she'd assigned to deal with the occupants of the car gathered into one cohesive group.

Kate went over to speak to the leader of the SWAT team, a burly, bald guy named 'Herc'. She wasn't sure if that was a nickname or not, but it was printed on the patch fixed to the front of his uniform. The guys' black coveralls and bulky vests, their double thigh-holsters, black boots, helmets and goggles made them look otherworldly, like futuristic soldiers out of some apocalyptic, Schwarzenegger movie.

Herc eyed her with respect, listened carefully to her briefing, nodding sagely in the right places, and then he left her so he could go and prepare his men.

Each member of the six-man SWAT team was armed with a 9mm Heckler & Koch MP5 submachine gun. Sig P226s and MP1911 pistols were holstered against their thighs. The fifth team member – their advance guard - carried a one-man battering ram, together with flash bang grenades, tear gas canisters and Tasers, should the need arise.

The brief discussion over, Kate moved everyone into position and gave a silent signal for the teams to move.

Her parting glance was to her partner, whose face was a mask of fierce control as he fought back the urge to just kidnap Kate and take her home. She nodded at him once, telegraphing her support and her gratitude with intensely bright eyes, and then she turned away to face what lay ahead.

* * *

Jones, Drake, Evans and Garcia broke cover first. They ran in a line, single file, crouched low, towards the black Escalade that sat over by the curb in front of Sacred Heart Church, parked with typical disregard for the law on a Tow Away Zone marked "No Standing Anytime".

When they got close, they split into two pairs, Jones and Drake on the left side, Garcia and Evans on the right.

Kate watched from the screen of the sex shop wall as the four men waited until they were all in position alongside the running boards of the luxury SUV. The screens of the in-car entertainment system flickered in unison, front and back, the vibration of a TV voice-over carrying outside of the car. A beat or two passed and then, with a hushed '_now_' whispered by Jones, they grabbed for the handles and yanked the doors open on both sides simultaneously, driver's and rear off-side.

Cries of '_What the fuck?_' and '_Holy shit'_, could be heard emanating from the interior of the vehicle, as Jones pointed his Glock at the driver's head and told him to put his hands on the steering wheel real slow and then remain still while Charlie Drake reached in to perform an initial frisk of the brick wall of a guy.

'_Cake Boss'_ was playing rather incongruously on the miniature TV screens, Buddy Valastro demonstrating spun sugar nests while these two ugly lumps of meat had watched with rapt fascination.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the car, Nick Garcia had the rear door open and was forcing the passenger, Johnny Marks, out onto the roadway, before he turned him round and shoved him hard against the side of the SUV, kicking his legs apart and getting him to spread his hands high and wide near the roofline of the vehicle. Gary Evans patted him down, removing a semi-automatic pistol from a holster under his jacket, and a flick knife from his rear pants pocket.

"What the hell _is_ this?" asked the driver, Tony Ammanaze, as Charlie Drake grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket and hauled him out of the car.

"This is hello," said Drake dryly, removing a Walther P99 from inside the guy's jacket. "If you don't want to see what goodbye looks like, I suggest you cooperate…_quietly_."

"You think these gentlemen have permits for these?" Jones asked Evans with a smirk, holding up the pistol by its grip.

"Might take a while to check," replied Evans, with mock concern and a suck of his teeth. "Department computer's been running kinda slow lately."

"Sir, we'd like to invite you to sample a little of the NYPD's hospitality," said Drake, with faux cordiality, cuffing Ammanaze's hands behind his back. "If you'd like to come this way," he said, 'accidentally' cracking the guy's forehead on the side of the open door, before spinning him round and frog marching him back towards the empty lot in a bit of a daze.

He read the men their rights as they walked them down the street, citing 'criminal possession of a weapon in the third degree' as the preliminary charge. They would firm up on the details later; a smorgasbord of options available to them for the charges they could pin on these two. But for now, all they wanted was Gaggini's two goons locked up and out of the way. The local PD would baby-sit them while they dealt with Gaggini.

* * *

"Your boss inside?" asked Kate, when Drake brought the driver over to her.

Tony Ammanaze gave Kate a slow once-over, his eyes licking up and down her body with such an unveiled look of predatory desire that Castle strained forward, immediately intent on decking the guy, only to find himself restrained from behind by the cold, fearsome grip of Captain Gates fingers closing around his elbow. She might be small but the woman was surprisingly powerful.

"Stand down, Mr. Castle," she hissed in his ear. "Beckett can handle this guy no problem. Watch and learn."

Kate stepped forward when the guy failed to answer her question, and then she stepped even closer, pressing the heel of her boot down hard on the man's fancy, fine leather shoe.

His eyes bugged out instantly and he tried to struggle away, but Drake had him in a firm grip, cuffs ratcheted tight around his wrists.

"You're obviously a little hard of hearing, Mr.…?" she purred, stepping even closer, leaning all of her weight on his toes.

"Okay. _Basta! Enough!_" he yelled, his eyes beginning to water. "Ammanaze," he spat out. "Tony Ammanaze."

"Okay, Mr. Ammanaze, good," said Kate, nodding at the man. "So your boss, Carlo Gaggini. He inside with Father Gerard?"

Brick Wall clamped his mouth shut again, refused to answer. So Drake barreled him up against the side of the Sex Shop until his cheek was rubbing against the dirty, crumbling wall and his arms were jerked upward into a painful position.

Castle stood watching the whole thing, bouncing on his toes with excitement, glad someone got a chance to kick the guy's ass if it couldn't be him.

"Answer the lady when she asks you a question, cup cake," spat Drake, jerking the goon's arms higher.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, as his shoulder joints strained and threatened to dislocate. "Yeah, okay. Shit. You people call this fucking hospitality?"

"Yeah, well, we do things a little different back in The City," said Drake, forcing the guy's head back against the sea salt and brick dust encrusted wall.

"He in there alone?" asked Kate coolly, her face now so close to the driver's that she could smell his rancid, garlic-soaked breath.

"_Yes!_ He's with his priest for fuck's sake. You think he wants we all sit around in a circle like a bunch of retards while he makes his confession, lady?"

"Wanna _know_ what I think?" asked Kate, a slow smirk spreading over her face as she muscled in on the guy's personal space. "I think it's time your boss paid a little more for his crimes that a weekly visit to his priest. Like life in Elmira for starters," she added, giving a final grinding press on the man's foot, before she stood back, walking away a few paces before turning back to address him again.

"What happens first? The priest hears his confession or they chew the fat over a cup of tea?"

"Confession," admitted Ammanaze. "Tea comes later, with a little…_sweetness_," he added, leering at Kate again, clearly a man with a very short memory.

When the flat of her hand connected with the back of his head and his cheek was rubbed raw against the wall, the smirk drained off his face as pain burst around his eye socket.

"Layout?" she demanded, pinching the man's ear hard between her index finger and thumb, nails digging in. "Where's the confessional for starters?"

"In back. Right hand side. Top of the aisle. There's like three…three booths in a row," he sang like a canary, wincing against the pain.

Castle had to fight the urge to rub his own ear, early memories of his time following Kate around resurfacing with a rush of phantom pain.

"And where do they hold this little tea party afterwards?" she pressed, tugging harder, contorting the man's scalp.

"In the Vestry. Front right. Behind the altar."

She released him and spun away completely this time, turning her back on him, his usefulness over for now.

"Lock 'em up," said Kate, nodding at the two men.

"Right, we go in assuming Gaggini's alone with the priest. Doesn't mean you don't keep your eyes and ears open for nasty surprises."

She gestured for Castle to come up alongside her, Karpowski and Gates close behind.

"You ready?" she asked him under her breath, squeezing his wrist quickly, a jolt of adrenalin making her grip on his arm painfully tight, her strength lifted way beyond normal boundaries.

"Ready," he nodded, catching her eye and giving her a flicker of a smile to cover his grimace.

* * *

They moved quickly, jogging out from the seclusion of the vacant lot as a pack, flanked on either side and behind by members of the SWAT team, boots tattooing a steady rhythm on the asphalt.

They travelled past the sex shop windows with its flickering neon sign, and on across the grass in front of the church until they reached the side door. Kate tried the handle – locked. The guy with the battering ram stepped forward, but she waved him away. Too much noise equaled too much attention and no element of surprise. So she signaled for everyone to head for the front doors instead.

This time the knob twisted freely and the chipped red wooden door swung open on perfectly oiled hinges. Kate glanced up at the chiseled inscription above the door which read, '_Make Our Hearts Like Unto Thine'_, and she shook her head at the gall of Carlo Gaggini and his ilk, who used their religion like a free-pass to sin and repent over and over again.

The dark space of the church, with its cool marble floors and faint trace of incense lay beyond in the gloom. They crept inside, quickly and quietly.

Castle broke off from the pack, heading left, towards an old lady who was lighting votive candles on a brass rack behind the last row of pews.

She turned and gave him a warm, welcoming smile, her face framed by a halo of blue-grey curls, pale cloudy eyes watering. Her hearing aid whistled sharply, echoing in the vaulted, stone space, and she rushed to adjust it before opening her mouth to speak.

"Hello, young man. Are you the new driver for Dial-a-Ride?" she asked, eyes twinkling with mischief as she handed Castle a net shopping bag containing two melons and a frozen chicken without even waiting for his answer.

The writer just smiled sweetly, offered her his arm, and ushered her back towards the front doors, using his body to shield her from the sight of the group of armed, uniformed men who were stealthily creeping across the floor of her church.

Once she was safely outside, he handed her off to Jones, who'd just finished cuffing Tony Ammanaze and Johnny Marks to the inside of the van, leaving them in the company of the driver, Garcia, and a local Long Beach patrol unit.

* * *

Castle re-entered the church, eager to do what he could to support his partner. He caught sight of Kate signalling to Karpowski to listen at each of the confessionals in turn, so that they could establish which of them Gaggini was currently occupying. The curtains on two of them were currently closed. The red velvet drapes on the third having been pulled aside when the last parishioner had left.

The SWAT team was fanned out in a wide semi circle and arranged part way down the side aisle towards the vestry in case it turned out that Gaggini had had little to say for himself this week, and was already off supping tea.

When Karpowski pointed to the middle curtain, the only booth with two male voices, Kate nodded silently. Castle was at her back, his hand resting lightly on the butt of his gun. Gates signaled that she would take care of the priest, who sat behind a fretwork door, talking in low, lilting tones, his discourse occasionally followed by a response from a deeper, rougher voice.

Kate counted on her fingers, one, two, three, and then she knocked sharply on the wooden frame of the confessional structure, before throwing the curtain back, her gun raised to chest height.

Carlo Gaggini was seated inside the small, confined space, and all Kate could think was, 'like shooting fish in a barrel'.

She kept her voice low, given their surroundings, but the menace and threat was still there.

"Carlo Gaggini, come out slowly with your hands raised. I have a warrant for your arrest."

"Holy mother of God," he bellowed in disgust, standing as instructed and raising both hands.

He looked older than his photograph, and if it was possible, a good deal uglier too. His lumpy, baked potato of a face now well past its use-by date, his body thickened by too much drink, rich food, and too little exercise.

"I am arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Bonino Lucese," Kate carried on, reaching behind her to unclip her cuffs from the back of her belt. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say…"

* * *

Gaggini had stopped listening and started planning the instant the name Lucese came up. Castle could tell from the glint in his eye and the quick twitch of his lips, and he watched in growing horror as Gaggini dropped one of his hands to reach behind him as he turned to the side in the pretense of squeezing his way through the narrow confession booth opening.

Castle drew his weapon in between heartbeats, immediately leveling it at the guy's head. Lunging forwards to knock Kate out of the way, he yelled, "Beckett, gun," just as the man drew a revolver from inside the back of his pants.

The concerted clash of shells being racked into the chambers of six submachine guns echoed off the walls and floor of the church along with Castle's warning. Kate was forced sideways, out of the line of fire, just as a bullet grazed the top of the ornately carved wooden frame, robbing it of some momentum, before it struck a pillar fifteen feet away with a ping and a spark and a puff of masonry dust.

Kate regained her balance in an instant. Castle's large hand was already wrapped around Gaggini's arm, forcing him to drop the weapon as he yanked him out of the confessional and threw him to the ground, where Kate and Karpowski landed on him, frisking for any additional weapons as he cursed on the cold marble floor.

"What the fuck _is_ this shit?" he complained, as the shocked, middle-aged priest looked on in amazement at the scene unfolding in his church.

"The beginning of the end, Gaggini," growled Kate, placing her knee in the small of the consigliere's back while she cuffed him good and tight, and then hauled him to his feet. "The beginning of the end."

* * *

A little while later, Kate and Castle sat alone on the grass outside the church, waiting for Gates to finish smoothing things over with the priest, Gaggini already secured and under guard inside one of the vans.

Kate let out a long, slow breath before she started to speak, rubbing a hand over the back of her neck.

"I think I'm going to have to bench you myself in future," she said, giving Castle a shy glance as she plucked at a blade of grass. "This score line of yours gets anymore out of balance, I'm just going to start embarrassing myself," said Kate with a wry smile, looking down at her feet.

"You're welcome," smirked Castle, flicking his eyes to hers and away again, a too-pleased-with-himself gleam in his eye.

Kate snorted at his show of conceit, and stretched her legs out in front of her to ease some of the pent-up tension she was still feeling.

"Just doing my job," clarified Castle, trying for humble this time, while his insides continued to fizz with pride. "The whole partnership thing…I guess I just take stuff literally," he said, shrugging. "Well, the stuff that matters," he added. "Not the whole, '_stay in the car, Castle'_, '_don't touch anything, Castle_' part, obviously," he grinned, nudging her with his shoulder.

"Yeah, or the 'we are over, so leave me alone', part," countered Kate, casting another quick, tentative glance his way.

"Hey, _you_ ignored that one too," he reminded her, "turning up at my door soaking wet and begging."

Kate laughed out loud, but couldn't bring herself to deny his claim.

"Touché," she said. Adding, "I guess turnabout is fair play."

They fell silent again, just sitting on the grass in the sun, side-by-side, sharing a bottle of water, nothing about today's monumental events sinking in just yet.

"Do you believe in guardian angels?" asked Kate, out of the blue, her eyes closed, face cast up to the sun. A sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead.

Castle laughed heartily, and then turned to look at her when he realized her question wasn't meant as a joke.

"You don't believe in fate, Kate. Or magic or Santa Claus so…?" he threw his hands up in exasperation.

"No. But I believe in _you_," she said lightly, fingers creeping over to find his hand on the grass. "So maybe _you're_ my guardian angel," she suggested, as her pinkie nudged up against his.

Before Castle could answer her, Gates came striding towards them across the grass. She was holding up her two-way.

"Team Bravo needs your help down at the compound. ASAP. Take your men and the SWAT team. I'll head back to the city with Gaggini, get him secured at the Precinct. And don't worry, Detective," she added, when Kate opened her mouth to protest. "The interview's yours."

Kate nodded, already on her feet and walking quickly towards the van.

"And Beckett?" called Gates, halting both Kate and Castle in their tracks. "Watch your backs. Both of you," she said, sending them off with a grim nod of dismissal.

_A/N: Can someone please explain how Kate's black shirt from 'Always' had no wrinkles in it whatsoever after a rainstorm and a night on Castle's bedroom floor? I want her magical wardrobe! Not to mention her magical hair. ;) And ladies, did you see the boots she was holding in her hand? (Sneak Peek 5) Perfection!_

_The bad news flash is that I think I'm going to fail in my endeavor to finish this up before the show airs. I can't believe I've been writing this since May and I still ran out of time. Still, it got us through the hiatus and Beckett did get to arrest Gaggini. I think I'd be rushing the end if I force it to a conclusion in the next twenty-four hours. So, if you'll indulge me a little longer…? Liv_


	76. Chapter 76 Bearskin Rug

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 76 – Nothing Says Classy Like A Bearskin Rug_**

The Gaggini family compound was a sprawling resort of a place with its face boldly turned towards the Atlantic Ocean. A high, white stucco wall concealed the property from the road, running from boundary line to boundary line with a large set of wrought iron gates set in the middle of several hundred yards worth of masonry.

The gates had been thrown wide, and so Kate and Castle's van, followed by the SWAT team's BearCat, swept up the drive towards the main house unhindered.

Kate had spoken to Ryan on the ride over. There were more bodies on the compound than they'd anticipated, and the place was so spread out, with lots of scattered outbuildings in addition to the main residence. So it was taking longer than expected to search everywhere and comb through the myriad drawers and file cabinets of paperwork and files, and to check through all the rooms and closets they currently had access to under the search warrant.

The front of the main house looked like a cops' convention when they pulled up. There were squad cars from the local Long Beach Police Department, the TARU guys had set up camp, two SWAT vans, and a number of navy blue unmarkeds parked in a wide arc on the white gravel.

They jumped down out of the van and went in search of the rest of their team to find out how they could best be of assistance.

* * *

Esposito and Ryan were in Carlo Gaggini's office, being followed around by a uniform with a video camera. Esposito kept glaring at the guy, and then he snarled at him to back away. But the young tech was relentless, not easily put off. So Esposito eventually went back to ignoring him as he focused on searching a file cabinet drawer full of gambling receipts.

"Hey, Espo," said Kate, wandering over to the desk he'd commandeered with Castle trailing in her wake. "How's it going? You find anything yet?"

"Plenty of gaming IOU's, that's for sure. The guy was running quite a book. Ponies, dogs…you name it. If there was more than one of them to make a race, this guy would let you bet on it."

"Anything on bribing judges yet?" asked Castle, stepping around Kate for a better look at the paperwork.

"Not so far. But we're only scratching the surface right now. Ryan's looking over phone records for a connection to Lucese, Mason, and or Maddox, and we've got tech boxing up his computer. How'd things go down over at the Church? You bring in Gaggini?"

Kate gave Castle a quick glance, the momentary hesitation in her reply piquing Esposito's interest.

"We got him," jumped in Castle, covering for his partner. "Pretty straightforward. Gates is taking him back to the city as we speak, gonna keep him on ice until we get back."

Kate shot him a grateful look. News of the round Gaggini had managed to fire off inside the Church could wait until later. She didn't need Esposito's macho routine right now. They had work to do.

"So…um…what can we do? To help, I mean? Gates said you guys were slammed. Where should we go first?"

"Guest house," said Ryan, striding purposefully into the study with a clipboard held out in front of him, pen poised over a sheet of paper, scribbling notes as he walked.

Esposito gave Castle a look that said, '_See what I have to put up with, bro?_' Ryan evidently taking his command position very seriously.

"Guest house?" repeated Kate, glancing from one detective to the other.

"Yeah, out back. You can't miss it. Other end of that vulgar, Olympic size swimming pool. We haven't been able to get to it yet. Don't know who's been staying there. Most of our guys are tied up in the ten-car garage, checking VIN numbers, looking for stolen car parts, drugs, weapons, unpaid parking tickets… Anything we can use to make this guy's life a misery."

"Okay, guest house it is," said Kate, turning to her partner, who was checking a Belmont Park race result on his phone while Esposito held up the corresponding gaming chit.

"Take Samuels with you," said Ryan. "He's all I can afford right now."

Kate bit her tongue at Ryan's authoritative tone and earnest expression. The shoe was on the other foot today given how seriously he was taking the role Gates had assigned him.

Castle arched an eyebrow at her, and she nodded discreetly to acknowledge the shared observation, a sparkle of humor in her eyes as she sucked in her cheeks to keep from laughing.

"Looks like Honey Milk's cup runneth over today," murmured Castle, as they walked away.

"Don't," choked Kate, swatting him on the arm.

* * *

So they headed out the back of the property through the spacious, open-plan living and dining area, with its vast wall of glass overlooking the enormous swimming pool Ryan had just mentioned.

The décor was what Castle would have called Soprano's chic – the large rug in front of the white stone fireplace was bearskin, and some mob-decorator had seen fit to pair it with a small truck load of oversized zebra and leopard-print throw pillows that had been arranged a little too neatly on the sprawling white leather sofas. It looked like something out of 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey_'_.

"Nothing says class like a bearskin rug," said Castle dryly, nudging the open mouth of the bear's head with the toe of his shoe.

When he jumped back as if he'd just been bitten, Kate gave him a withering but indulgent look that said _'really?_' without actually opening her mouth, and then she turned away, kept moving.

Large crystal chandeliers punctuated the ceiling from one end of the room to the other, and a set of gilt and glass candelabra adorned the mantelpiece, flanking an ornate, Italianate antique clock. A huge, fussy, gold beveled mirror hung on the wall above reflecting a long view of the room.

Castle noticed that the solid brass tool set hanging in the hearth looked like it had seen some action. The small shovel was dented along the bottom edge and the poker was missing the decorative fleur-de-lis from its handle. He was pretty sure that if you hit it with a spray of Luminol and turned out the lights you'd probably find that the blood of more than one donor had been left behind for a debt unpaid or a slight imagined.

Though the room was largely decorated in shades of cream, someone had seen fit to paper one feature wall with an eye-popping black velvet and gold leaf damask design. The effect was…migraine inducing, and so Castle hurried to follow Kate out through the open glass doors, out into the fresh air of the back patio.

* * *

The pool area was a continuation of the same over-the-top, 'too much money and too little taste' decorating style they'd just witnessed indoors. Faux Roman statues and overelaborate white baroque balustrades bordered the pool enclosure and split-level patio. The pool sparkled and shimmered too blue in the high summer sun and Castle had to shield his eyes from the dazzling brightness of it all.

"Stylish," he muttered, as he followed Kate around the edge of the pool towards the large, single storey guesthouse with Samuels in tow.

He tugged on the plastic laurel wreath wrapped around the head of one naked male statue.

"Can't we just arrest these people for crimes against good taste?"

Kate laughed, taking in the details that Castle was absorbing, details that she'd largely let pass her by.

"When this is over, I want us to go to the Hamptons," he said, catching up with her as they walked down the steps below the pool deck. "Just the two of us. I think you'll love the house, Kate. It's right on the beach, and we can swim in the ocean, sleep late, make a fire on the beach at night, toast marshmallows then lay in the hot tub 'til the sun comes up if we want. What do you say?"

"One condition," replied Kate, her eyes sparkling wickedly while Castle positively thrummed with excitement beside her.

"Name it."

"That fireplace of yours have a bearskin rug?" she grinned.

"I'll go hunt one myself if I have to. So you'll come?" he asked, like a little boy being granted his biggest, brightest wish.

"Try an' stop me," she smiled, nudging him with her arm. "But this first..."

* * *

The stucco walls were painted a pale salmon pink color, and the same ornate plasterwork balustrade ran in front of the property, which would have made a good-size, single family home.

Kate tried the door and found it unlocked, so she knocked on the glass and announced herself, and when no reply was forthcoming they entered one after the other.

The guesthouse was simply a smaller version of the main mansion. An open-plan living-dining area opened out onto a large kitchen with light wood cabinetry, granite worktops, and a central island. The floor tiles were terracotta throughout the property, except for the bedrooms and bathrooms, which were fitted out in creamy-white travertine.

Kate and Castle zeroed in on the small nook off the main living space that had evidently been set up as an office, while Samuels went to check the bedrooms.

"Who do you suppose is living here?" asked Kate, opening the desk drawer and beginning to search through it.

Plain, cream-colored stationery, a silver letter opener, a stapler, a few pens, and a pencil and marker from the Long Beach Golf and Country Club rolled out of the drawer towards her.

Kate picked up the short, stubby pencil and turned it over in her hand before picking up the small, round ball marker and rolling it between her fingers.

"Well, whoever it is, they're obviously a golfer," she said, showing Castle the green and white marker.

Castle had lifted a stack of mail that was lying on the desk and he began to flip through the jumble of junk, coupons and fliers, until he stopped abruptly on something that looked like a bill.

"Kate…"

His voice was low, and his tone carried a warning.

"What?" she asked, looking up from her position down near the floor, where she was squatting to take a look underneath the actual drawer and the base of the desk itself in case anything had been concealed on the underside.

"Esposito said Cole Maddox' real name was Cedric Marks, right?"

"Yeah, that's what his military buddy told him. Why?" she asked, taking the hand he offered to help her up from the floor so that she could look at the envelope he was holding out to her.

The name on the front read 'Cedric Marks', the address listed as the same one they were currently searching in Long Beach.

Kate went stalk still, her eyes swiveling from side-to-side as she looked around the room. She pressed her index finger to her lips to indicate for her partner to remain silent as she slowly drew her weapon. She guided Castle's head down towards her so that she could whisper in his ear, her hand curled gently at the back of his neck as her lips grazed his temple.

"We have to clear the place room-by-room. You take the bathroom. I'll start checking the bedrooms. Be on your guard."

"Wait," hissed Castle, taking hold of her arm. "Where'd Samuels go?"

Kate jerked her head in the direction of the master bedroom.

"So why hasn't he come out yet?" asked Castle, raising one eyebrow to make his point, his eyes going wide.

"Oh shit!" said Kate, just as a hollow, wet sound, a thwack, like someone hitting a watermelon with a baseball bat or a piñata with a broom handle, issued from the direction of the master bedroom.

* * *

When they got down the corridor, and rounded the doorway, skidding into one another, they found Officer Teddy Samuels lying face down on the floor, a very obvious wound to the back of his head and a good deal of blood starting to stain the cream rug by the side of the bed. A golf club lay on the floor by his side, a plush panda headcover discarded nearby.

The doors to the veranda lay open, white voile curtains fluttering in the warm air, and Kate ran to look outside, intending to follow whoever had just left, while Castle kneeled down by the stricken cop.

"It's Maddox. I have to go after him," said Kate, hanging on the doorframe just a second as she looked back at Castle and prepared to run.

"Go. I'll call a bus. He's still breathing…just," said Castle, pressing two fingers to the young cop's neck to check the strength of his pulse.

"Kate…_please?_ For God's sake…_be careful_," he pleaded with her, eyes trying to convey just how important it was to him that she came back in one piece.

Kate nodded quickly, giving Castle the most fleeting of smiles, a flash of steel in her eyes.

And then she was gone, off in pursuit of the man who had already almost taken her life, twice...

_A/N: So, what did everyone think of 5x01? Watching it for a second time, I loved when they were at Kate's apartment and she sat down at her table looking exhausted, just after Ryan left, when she was telling him that it was all supposed to be over, and then she said, "I can't go back again. Not now!" Meaning, now I have you and life is so good. _

_I also loved the little argument over hiding in the closets; too cute. "Just act normal. If that's even possible for you." And when she moved in for a hug after you saw them reflected side-by-side in the TV screen. So many great little moments, amazing cinematography, and such great acting, from Stana, particularly. A lot to be happy about. Also, we won't be waiting months for sneak peeks anymore. Liv_


	77. Chapter 77 Death Wish

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 77 – Death Wish_**

Maddox was headed down the boardwalk at a run; the long straight wooden structure that linked the Gaggini compound with the beach beyond. Plank after plank of warm, weathered timber stretched out ahead of Kate as she pursued the man who'd been hired to kill her, blind to the wild explosion of nature now surrounding her on three sides.

Her boots pounded the wooden dune crossover; an elevated, arrow-straight pathway that cut a swathe through the sea oats and tall grasses on either side, vegetation that protected this barrier island and held its beach together against the stormy ravages of winter wind and waves.

Up ahead, the Atlantic Ocean rolled in towards her, and she felt the warm air hit her face and stir her hair as she ran headlong towards it. From her slightly raised position she could see the dark, retreating figure of Cole Maddox as he hit the sand with a puff of white, powdery quartz, and then took a sharp left turn, heading east, his chosen path parallel to the ocean.

Kate's left hand skimmed the handrail of the boardwalk for balance, the wooden planks made slippery by deposits of fine sand and the worn sheen of the surface. A patina built up over years of constant use and weathering. She picked up a splinter from an open knot in the wood, pulled her hand away sharply as pain stabbed her palm and a hissed curse escaped her lips. No time to check it, she simply plowed on, squeezing her fist around the sting, ignoring anything that would distract her from her purpose – to hunt this man down like the relentless, unstoppable, heartless creature she knew him to be. The man who would rob her of her life and her happiness. The man who would, in a heartbeat, rob Richard Castle of the one thing he'd earned the right to expect – a life with her – devastating the lives of those closest to him in the process.

These thoughts spurred her on as her heart raced in her chest, blood pounded in her ears, and the hot wind stole her breath, making her mouth dry, and her eyes and throat burn.

When she reached the end of the walkway she grabbed the last of the handrail, felt the splinter drive deeper into her skin as she used it for leverage. The toe of her boot caught the rough, quartz gritted, non-slip tread cover on the top step, and her eye picked out the dull grey-blue of a galvanized screw head just as she jumped; the slate-colored metal earthing her right at the point her body left the safety of the wood - that umbilical connection to her partner - for the soft shift of sand under her feet.

Alone now to face her demons.

No longer on solid ground.

* * *

Castle's phone slipped in his palm as he pressed it to his ear. He called 911 immediately to make sure help was on its way for Samuels, and then he called Ryan. He knew there would be trained first aiders amongst their crew; maybe even an EMT who'd switched jobs at some point in a career shaped by a basic desire to help others. It happened. Or so he told himself. Yeah, sometimes in this life you got lucky. He'd found Kate Beckett after an adulthood of stupid mistakes with unworthy women. So, yes, it definitely happened. They were proof of that. But that realization didn't halt the screaming panic clawing at his insides, merely muted it long enough for him to keep functioning. And, just as Kate had told him many times before, he tried not to forget to breathe.

When the call connected, he did hold his breath, praying fervently his luck would hold.

"Ryan. Maddox is here. He attacked Samuels, almost killed him. Ambulance is on its way. But I need help. Guy's in bad shape; bleeding from a head wound, and he's still out cold. Kate's gone after Maddox by herself. I need to go after her. You have to send someone here to take over? Samuels is in the master bed of the guesthouse. You've gotta hurry."

He hung up the call without waiting for a response or questions - anything that might constitute a delay. He was afraid to move the young officer, worried about the impact the titanium head of the Cobra driver, delivered with the force they'd heard Maddox use, would have had when it connected with the back of Samuels' skull.

And then he moaned, Castle, not Samuels - who was being all too worryingly quiet, too still. No, Castle moaned and scrubbed a hand down over his face as he let his mind drift around the words Kate and Esposito had used to describe her last terrifying encounter with this man; the landscape they had painted so horrific that he'd had to leave Remy's to physically distance himself from the reality of it all.

And now she was facing the guy again…_alone._

Without him. _Again_.

In bed one night, she'd told him how she'd cried out for him on that windswept rooftop, how she thought she'd heard him answer her. And he'd let her go it alone _again_.

"_Fuck_," he cursed, slamming his fist down hard against the limestone floor, sending shuddering sparks of pain through the distal bones of his fingers, the phalanges, and up into the carpal bones at the juncture with his wrist. But the pain brought him back and it spurred him on.

* * *

He was on his feet in seconds, pacing to the open veranda doors as soon as the sound of voices and footsteps made their pounding way down from the main house. With a fleeting raise of his hand he took off down the boardwalk after her, the comforting weight of the Glock 17 back in the palm of his hand.

Sweat began to prickle his scalp and bead around the back of his neck as the heat of the day beat down on his thick, dark head of hair. He brushed a droplet of moisture away from his eye as he jogged the length of the walkway in desperate search of his partner.

Somewhere behind him, back in the distance, his ears picked up the wail of an ambulance, and it set his mind at rest, allowed him to focus forwards instead of back.

And then the bargaining began. Get out of this, and he would never leave her side again.

He hit the sand heavily, and skidded into its unforgiving softness, looking frantically right then left for any sign of the route they'd taken. He moved forward, further down the beach towards the shore to get away from the concealing height of the dunes and long grasses, and with another whip of his head to the east, his eyes caught the brief explosion of a muzzle flash, followed closely by the dull report of the shot, what little of it the wind permitted him to hear, and then he started to run for all he was worth towards the east, stumbling in the heavy drag and pull of the sand as a phalanx of footsteps began pounding the boardwalk behind him.

* * *

When the boundary line of the Gaggini property ended, there was a brief respite from construction of any kind, and then the main Long Beach boardwalk started; two and a quarter miles of a two lane highway's width of boardwalk, nearly one hundred years old.

Up top were cafes and ice cream parlors, joggers and power walkers, families with kids and babies in strollers. There was a small group of men on racing bikes, taking advantage of the recently installed bicycle lane, and out to Kate's right stretched a three and a half mile expanse of beach running right alongside the Atlantic Ocean, scattered with day-trippers and picnickers and all manner of young kids and families; innocents every one.

Maddox has hugged the edge of the dunes as he made his way along the beach, and now he skirted beneath the cover of the boardwalk. He used the shade from the structure's pilings and supports to conceal his fast moving shape as he skidded and slipped his way through the sand in a desperate effort to flee.

Flee or lure, Kate wasn't sure which. She just knew what Maddox had probably worked out for himself by now - that where he was concerned, she wasn't going to stop…because he had left her no choice. Kill or be killed was the lunch special today, and you either had the stomach for it or you became a footnote on the menu of history.

* * *

He fired at her first, from behind a metal stanchion, barely pausing to take aim, and she rolled to the ground as the shot went wide, harmlessly hitting the sand with a dull thud.

* * *

Castle could feel the sweat running down his back, moisture dampening the waistband of his pants as he reached the end of the dunes. Up ahead he saw the enticing shade of the boardwalk, and it was from within that cool, shady place that the muzzle flash had emanated.

Not far to go now.

* * *

Kate's pace had slowed now that Maddox was playing cat and mouse on the underside of the wooden structure. The too-bright glare of the white, sandy beach was in strict contrast to the cool, salty gloom of the boardwalk's underbelly. Like a dragon of the sea, a sea serpent, it had attracted all manner of mollusks and barnacles, dried seaweed, moss and algae over the years that thrived in dark places, along with a fair old collection of garbage too. The sand smelled of urine in patches, dank and sickly and strong like ammonia, and Kate startled when she heard the rattle of a discarded beer can a few feet off to her left.

He was close, so close that she could almost hear him breathe, and so she let her eyes adjust to the shadow, and then she waited, breathing as little as possible, body pressed up against the broad cylindrical column of one of the old wooden supports, just biding her time.

* * *

When the end came it was swift and shocking.

Castle appeared somewhere behind her, softly calling her name. She bit her lip, willing him to fall silent lest he give them both away. But he could see her, and her lack of response got through to him. She signaled with her hand behind her back for him to stay low and stay back, but to circle around so they had him covered from two sides, enabling them to come at him in a pincer movement. Two pairs of eyes always much better than one.

Castle crept closer, doing exactly as Kate had instructed, always making sure he stayed behind her. He went in deeper under the structure, while she held her line, moving ever forward, slowly, cautiously.

The sound of men running in their direction, to the disturbing soundtrack of women screaming and people scattering, was what sparked him off. The clock was ticking, the sand draining out of the timer now that the SWAT team was on its way. Cole Maddox was going down all guns blazing, and he was going to leave Kate Beckett with something she'd never forget.

* * *

One shot was fired, hitting a pillar three feet in front of Kate, revealing Maddox' position.

Castle hissed, "Kate, I've got him. Clear shot. My two o'clock."

He was asking her permission, and no…_no, no, no, no_. _ Never!_ She would _never_ let the man she loved take the life of another human being for a fight that, until recently, had nothing to do with him. She couldn't have that stain on his soul, that image forever lingering, tainting everything, ready to haunt his dreams, contaminate his creativity, and wound his big, innocent, childlike heart.

"Hold your fire," she warned him as another shot whizzed past her head, hitting an ancient crossbeam and sending a shower of sand and dust and wooden splinters groundward, as she let off a quick warning shot in reply.

"Kate, please?" hissed Castle, desperation tainting his voice. "I have a shot."

But she stood her ground.

"Get behind me when I move," she said, grinding out the words with all the control available to her.

Castle swallowed, wanted to protest, but one look at her face told him to keep his damn mouth shut for once and just do as he was told. Because hadn't he told her not an hour ago that he listened to the things that mattered? And nothing mattered more than this.

And so Kate moved to her left, into Castle's space, Maddox now at _her_ two o'clock, a better sightline, a cleaner shot, and then she waited until he fired for a third time, slightly more to her right, and she tracked him, moving forward all the while.

"Put down your gun, Mr. Marks," she called out clearly. "And come out with your hands raised. It's over Cedric. SWAT team's on its way. The only way you're getting out of here alive is if you surrender yourself and your weapon."

She heard him laugh, chillingly. His response was to let off another three rounds, each one peppering closer to the slim cover provided by what was in essence nothing more than a thick telegraph pole.

Castle ducked and weaved frantically, his eyes screwed tightly shut, breathing heavily through his nose as shards of wood and dust rained down on them.

One bullet grazed the column they were hiding behind and he let out a yelp, and suddenly Kate had had enough.

She stood to her full height, mentally counted the rounds in the magazine, and moved forward, her gun blazing a path as she fired shot after shot in his direction. The noise was terrifying, and feet could be heard running on the boardwalk above their heads, women and men shouting when the pandemonium subsided. Kate discharged her weapon, finger working that trigger hard, eyes relentlessly focused, until a dark figure dropped to his knees on the damp sand not twenty feet away, and she paused…

A deafening silence descended, broken only by the ceaseless roll and crash of the waves on the shore.

Kate held her breath, felt the air swirl around her, lifting her hair in its humid little eddies, until he fell on his front, face pressed into the wrinkled plastic of a shredded A&P grocery bag, his gun arm thrown out to the side, the weapon still clenched in his grip. There was a large exit wound ripped in the back of his tee shirt, no question or doubt that Cole Maddox was dead.

Dead by her hand.

* * *

Kate fell to her knees in the sand, her body suddenly exhausted, as a trickle of sweat ran down her spine, chilling in the damp, moldy shadows.

Castle sank to his knees beside her and pulled her to him, cradling her in his arms, just as Ryan and Esposito jogged up to them, panting, followed closely by the heavy footed, rattling approach of the SWAT guys.

"Is she…?" asked Ryan, his face a ghostly grey in the swampy light, panic filling his eyes.

"She's fine," said Castle, gesturing over at Maddox. "His gun. Get his gun and please make sure he's dead?" he asked, his voice sounding wrung out as he rubbed Kate's back until she stirred against his chest, her eyes blinking, tongue licking at her own parched lips.

"He's gone, Castle," she said flatly, her voice cracking on his name, her tone slightly off-key, and to hear her say those words nearly broke his heart.

"You had to, Kate. It was self-defense. Kill or be killed. It was a _good_ shoot," he reassured her, as Esposito offered to take her weapon from her stiffening fingers, and bag it in preparation for the arrival of IAB.

But he had to wonder - why did Maddox make it so easy? Crack marksman and he went down like that? Was that his plan all along - suicide by cop - leave Kate guilt ridden for taking a life?

Esposito was talking again and he had to listen, pay close attention, advocate for his partner right now, push everything else to the back of his mind until he could take it back out and examine it properly.

"Don't worry, Beckett. We'll take care of everything. Get the coroner here as soon as possible. Protect the scene. You did it by the book. Soon as IA gets your statements and clears you, you'll be back at your desk in no time," he said, making a process Kate already knew would be long and arduous seem like nothing more than renewing your home insurance.

She nodded her thanks to her colleague, allowing Castle to help her to her feet, and then she walked the short distance between her and the dead man, to stand over the body of the person who'd been hired to kill her, the man who'd very nearly succeeded. And as she looked down on him, she'd never felt so empty in her life. She felt scooped out, as if her core was gone, a shell of a being all that remained, her desire to hunt him now just a distant memory when faced with the dreadful aftermath of that act; the finality of it all.

"Let's…Kate…?" said Castle quietly, at a loss for words as he slipped his arm around her shoulders to turn her away from the scene.

"Come with me. We can wait up at the house for the guys from internal affairs," he said, guiding her away from the crowd of gawkers who were quickly gathering down on the sand.

A motely crew in garish, patterned boardshorts and bikinis stared with unbridled delight at this scene right out of a cop show that had just come to life on _their _beach. No matter the lives altered by today's events, it would become nothing more than an exciting footnote on their daytrip to the shore, right alongside the jellyfish stings, and the sandcastle Lucy built, or little Johnny's first strokes without his floaties on. It meant nothing to them, and yet it meant _everything_ to Kate and Castle, and so he protected her as best he could from the camera phones and the nosey questions by taking her as far away as the rules would allow, as quickly as she would let him.

* * *

Castle shielded Kate with his broad shoulders as he escorted her back along the beach towards the Gaggini compound, and the most telling thing of all was the fact that she let him, she let him guide her wordlessly over the dune crossover until they reached the relative privacy of pale pink guest house.

Only then did she surrender to her grief, sliding her arms around his neck as he held her up, his mouth at her ear, whispering words to sustain her until the anger and the pain and the guilt washed away with her tears.

_A/N: I know that was melodramatic. But I don't believe Kate Beckett would ever take a life lightly. This chapter ends on a darker note than usual, but I hope you still enjoyed reading it. _

_Ps Still watching 'After The Storm' like an addict. ;) And now the Sneak Peeks are out! Oh my. It's all too much. Liv_


	78. Chapter 78 Healing Together

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 78 – Healing Together_**

Two cookie-cutter, clean-cut types from Internal Affairs showed up about forty-five minutes after they got off the beach, dressed in grey suits, stiff white shirts and dark neckties that look far too hot and uncomfortable for the weather and the location.

Kate and Castle were separated, both weapons now confiscated, and then they were taken for interview back at the Twelfth in a couple of central casting dark sedans.

Kate cast one last long glance at her partner as she was led away, his blue eyes trained only on her while the IAB man instructed him to duck his head when he climbed into the back of the car. They weren't under arrest, but these guys sure did a damn good job of making you feel as if you were.

They were offered counsel and a union rep as soon as they got back to the Precinct. Both Kate and Castle refused the legal aid, but the union rep was a done deal for Kate, no option if she wanted to keep her job. Castle soldiered on alone, his straightforward belief in the power of the truth undimmed, despite all that he had seen and heard within those very walls over the last four years.

* * *

Three hours. _Three long hours_ of going over and over the same stuff, again and again; the same inane questions asked twenty different ways as if trying to trip you up.

Kate gave them a full and detailed account of her pursuit of the man suspected of her shooting, and her efforts to get him to surrender himself. She made no attempt to refute her involvement in the fatal shooting of Cedric Marks, aka Cole Maddox. But they stuck rigidly to the procedure required in any officer-involved shooting - brought in a tech to dab for GSR, then they took her clothes, her boots, everything parceled up in brown paper evidence bags, leaving her hunched up on a hard interview room chair, like a perp left sweating in the box, wearing a pair of over-sized NYPD sweats from someone else's locker.

* * *

Castle was furious. He answered every question they asked him, gave them every last detail he could think of, wrote up a statement, signed it, and then he stormed out of the precinct before he smashed up _something_ or _someone_.

He dashed home to pick up some clean clothes for Kate while they carried on questioning her. Then he stopped off on his way back to get her fresh coffee and a bagel with lox and cream cheese from Sal's on West Broadway, because he remembered she'd once said she liked their salmon. He was so much in love with her, wanted nothing more than to protect her, and this was breaking his heart. And though he couldn't have done anymore for her if he'd tried, he hated the fact that he just couldn't fix _this_.

* * *

It was already after seven when she was finally allowed to go home. Gates had a quick word, told her to take the next few days off, that Gaggini would face the wrath of Ryan and Esposito in the morning, while IAB worked on her case. She couldn't say how long it would take to clear things up, but Kate would be on paid, administrative leave until the shooting review board declared Maddox' death a justifiable homicide.

Kate protested to her boss, said she needed to be there to help finish things, that this was _her_ case. But Gates was adamant, impervious to her arguments; she was hog-tied by the rules and that was that. So Kate finally gave up with an indignant huff of anger and the unsatisfying slam of her top desk drawer.

She went to change clothes in the locker room before they went home, and while she was gone, Captain Gates came out to speak to Castle.

He stood up nervously from his perched position on the edge of Kate's desk as she approached, expecting to be chewed out for not providing adequate backup, or just generally screwing things up again. But her face betrayed a softness he hadn't seen before, and there was a glimmer of appreciation in her eyes, and he felt his guard drop just a little.

"Mr. Castle…from the reports I'm getting, it seems you did a fine job today. Your partner is safe, and Officer Samuels is under observation in hospital, critical but stable, thanks to your quick thinking. You've pleasantly surprised me. Feel free to make a habit of it," she added, with a sudden flash of dry humor, her delivery deadpan and mildly irritated as usual.

Castle nodded wordlessly at her, his lips quirking into an almost smile at her compliments.

"Just don't let it go to your head," she counseled, somewhat ruining the effect of her earlier praise. "I think you should take Beckett home now, look out for her over the next few days. Fatal shootings are rough on everyone, but even more so when the case was as personal as this. So, keep an eye on her, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it…either of you. I'm only a phone call away."

"Uh…thank you, Sir," mumbled Castle, bowing slightly in an obsequious manner he found hard to control around this woman.

"Goodnight, Mr. Castle," she said, turning to go back to her office just as Kate reappeared, dressed in her own clothes.

Castle was left speechless by the Captain's show of concern, not to mention her instruction that he should take his partner home and look after her. Maybe she wasn't such a stickler for the rules after all.

"What Gates want?" asked Kate, her forehead creasing into an adorable frown as she fumbled with the last button on her shirt.

"Just to say we'd done a good job today. That's all. You ready to go?" he asked lightly, not lying so much as protecting Kate from any expectation that she was about to experience something of a personal crisis.

Kate nodded that she was ready to go home, and then she happily leaned into Castle's side as he guided her out to the elevator with his arm around her shoulders, staying close, his lips ghosting the crown of her head all the way.

* * *

She drank the coffee and ate the bagel he'd brought her in silence, while he drove them home through rush hour traffic. She looked numb, worn thin in places, her face seemed sunken, the hollows in her cheeks deeper than they had been that morning, the shadows beneath each eye more pronounced.

He turned off the engine in the parking garage below his building, and swiveled to face her, the sound of creaking leather the only breach in the silence. He licked his lips nervously and gathered the words he thought he needed.

"Tonight is going to be rough…tomorrow too, most likely, so I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, Kate, that I love you, and that if you want to talk then I'm only too happy to listen. And if you want silence, then that's fine too. Just…don't shut me out completely, okay?" he asked, reaching for her.

He took her hand between his and squeezed it gently, felt her small, soft fingers be engulfed by his bear paw of a hand.

"Because I need you too," he added, looking back up at her open, expressive face, only to see his own feelings mirrored back at him.

They could do this.

* * *

Alexis was there when they got home, and Kate went straight through to the bedroom to decompress by herself for a bit before facing another family dinner.

Castle took the opportunity to give Alexis a brief rundown of the events of the day. He edited heavily, trying to play it down, avoiding the squealing and fist pumping he knew he'd have used to accompany a tale like this just a few short weeks ago. He was growing as a man, he realized, thanks to Kate. Mob hits no longer seemed cool when you, or a loved one, were the target.

He made his famous mac and cheese with chopped pancetta and truffle oil in an attempt to cheer Kate up with a little dose of comfort food. Alexis was making an effort, which started with her laying the table for dinner, and continued with her polite enquiries about his day.

While the pasta was baking in the oven, Castle headed to the bedroom to check on Kate. He found her lying on the bed, tucked into a little ball as she lay on her side, facing away from the door. He couldn't tell if she was sleeping or not, but after watching her for thirty seconds or so, he decided to leave her in peace, and come back later to wake her for dinner.

* * *

"Don't go."

The softly spoken request stopped him in his tracks. Kate swiveled her head to look at him, her hair whispering quietly against the fabric of the pillow, and then she turned her whole body round until she was lying on her back. After a second or two, in which Castle remained rooted to his spot near the door, she patted the space on the comforter next to her hip for him to come sit with her.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said quietly, easing himself down onto the mattress so as not to jostle her.

"You didn't. Couldn't sleep. I was just lying here resting my eyes and thinking…_oh_ so much _thinking_," sighed Kate, closing her eyes momentarily and shaking her head, curls dancing across the pillow.

Castle stroked his hand up and down her arm to soothe her, and she caught his fingers on the third pass, held onto them.

"Get anywhere?" he asked, watching her expression change, her eyes cloud over with the force of reminiscence.

"No," she shook her head, looking so sad and lost that it tugged at something deep inside of him, something only his daughter had accessed in a very long time.

"It'll take time to work through, Kate. Why don't you call Carter Burke, find out if he has an opening? Hmm? We could go see him together or…" he shrugged, unexpectedly unsure of himself, desperate not to overstep and upset her further.

Kate pushed herself up to a seated position, drew her knees up towards her chest while Castle watched her warily, finding himself in uncharted territory all of a sudden.

She reached up to caress the side of his face so gently with the back of her hand, her head tilted to the side, eyes focused on his lips, just quietly staring at him.

"I've never had anyone to do this with before," she said, watching him with a soft look on her face.

"Do what?"

"Work through stuff like this…difficult, messy stuff. Like how you live with yourself after you take the life of another human being," she offered, toying with her mother's ring.

Her honesty and her willingness to be open with him made his poor heart sing.

"Is that why you wouldn't let me take him out today…when I told you I had a clear shot?"

"_That_…and the paperwork," she joked, offering him a weak smile and a little sniff.

Castle smiled back, grateful for any spark of humor she could offer him tonight. He captured her bare ankle in his left hand, rubbing his thumb over the sharp jut of her bone, needing to feel connected to her.

"Did you ever wonder if he…"

"If he what?" asked Kate, laying a hand on Castle's arm to encourage him to speak up.

"If he bated you deliberately? To get you to shoot him, I mean. Because from what we know of the guy, he was a professional sniper, an excellent marksman. Do you _really_ believe he couldn't have taken one or both of us out if he'd wanted to?"

"You think he planned on committing suicide by cop?" she asked, reaching for his arm and squeezing just a little too hard.

Castle shrugged. "Just a thought."

"But _why?_ Why would he _do_ that?" asked Kate, all of her early frustration rushing back. "He was a _fighter._"

"_Exactly_. So, if I were writing that ending for him, I'd have him use it as a final act of revenge, rather than a simple suicide. He _knew_ that Gaggini was going down, and it was only a matter of time until he went down with him. _Today,_ with SWAT on his tail, _you_, me, and the guys…? He was like a cornered animal in that guesthouse, Kate. He tried to draw you away on your own, and when that didn't work…_bam!_ He went down fighting, leaving you with this moral dilemma, this _guilt_ over taking his life, some form of _lasting damage_ he thought he could inflict on you from beyond the grave."

"I'm not even sure _guilt_ is what I'm feeling right now. _Cheated _is closer to it. We finally take down the key players in my mom's murder, and we've been sidelined, thrown off the investigation until IAB clears me."

"Hey," said Castle, laying a hand on her knee to get her attention.

When she looked up at him he could see the frustration in her eyes, the ferocity that told him just how badly she wanted this.

"When have we _ever_ let a little thing like an IAB investigation stop us, Kate? Hmm? We'll _find_ a way to keep working on this, I promise. If I have to take that over-sexed ADA out to dinner to get the inside track on the legal case…"

Kate smirked at him, against her own better judgment, and then she shook her head slowly from side-to-side.

"There will be no wining and dining of concupiscent ADAs," she declared, trailing her index finger possessively down the placket of his shirt.

"Con... Shit, say that _again_?" he begged, his eyes lighting up at her tease. "That was so _hot_."

"You should hear me say lascivious, libidinous,_ licentious_," she grinned, using her tongue to great effect, practically licking every syllable.

They smiled at one another in the half-light for a moment or two, eyes dancing, until it got too goofy and Kate had to look away, her shy gaze dropping to the ankle Castle was still holding onto.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he said, leaning in to touch his finger to her chin, tipping her head up just slightly so that he could capture her perfect mouth with his.

Kate's eyes drifted closed at the light pressure of his lips against hers, followed by the exploratory glide of his clever tongue into her mouth as they began working together to soothe away all the hurt and fear of the day with a tender, loving kiss that sent a shiver of pleasure down her spine. She slid her hand around the back of Castle's neck, and was moaning, '_Rick_', ever so softly into his eager mouth, when Alexis tapped on the bedroom door.

"Dad? Kate? I'm sorry to interrupt, but you said to let you know when dinner was ready," she said hesitantly, observant eyes taking in their joined hands and the bruised, needy expressions on their faces.

"Thanks, sweetie. We'll be right out," said Castle, giving his daughter a quick smile.

"You made food?" asked Kate, realizing she may actually have slept after all, if he'd been gone that long. "What are we having?"

"Truffle mac and cheese," he said, waiting for her reaction. "But if you're not hungry…"

"Castle, _I'm starving_. You know, you're the best partner any cop could hope to have. I ever tell you that?" she asked, taking his arm once he'd helped her off the bed.

"Doesn't hurt to hear it again," he said, puffing his chest out with pride as he escorted her through to the dining table.

"I'll bet," laughed Kate, bumping him playfully with her hip. "Just don't let it go to your head," she warned.

"Yeah, and now you sound just like Gates, so…"

He shook his head comically, making her laugh again, and in that moment, Castle was pretty sure that they would be okay. It wouldn't be easy, but they'd find a way through this, _together_.

_A/N: I love these characters. They're so versatile. And the sneaks still have me amazed at how far they've come. It really is like fan fiction come to life! Thank you for the lovely messages and reviews. Liv_


	79. Chapter 79 Moving In And Moving On

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 79 – Moving In and Moving On_**

***Warning: M rated content and language***

It took two weeks. Two ridiculously long weeks of enforced relaxation that made Kate feel more guilt over not being at the Twelfth to do her job and help out her team than she ever felt over the death of the hired killer she'd just put in the ground.

The beginning part was rough, but they coped. Castle coped, to be more accurate, with Kate's nightmares, and her quiet, subdued moments; the silences that got longer and longer, stretched out until he had to delve in to break them up before they morphed into something altogether darker and scarier; something that might begin to drive a wedge between them.

Kate fled back to her own apartment on the fourth day, after several sleepless nights tossing and turning in Castle's bed. They spent a desolate, tear-stained night apart; sleep once again an elusive prize. She gave in and texted him around 4am, his reply pinging back a fraction of a second later, and before she could respond again he was on the phone, whispering soothing words in her ear, promising her that tomorrow would be better, loving her as best he could while they were apart.

In the bruised, purple light of dawn he showed up at her door with a couple of empty suitcases, needless words tumbling from his lips, determined to help her pack more of her things to take back to the loft as they both gave into the inevitable – that it might be soon in terms of them being a couple, but they both wanted to be together, missed one another dreadfully when they were apart, and so, why wait, if it's what they both wanted.

Kate didn't so much officially move in, as arrive there for good, by stealth. The rest of her things stayed at her apartment, and neither of them talked about it in those specific terms. There was no great discussion, no welcome celebration, no goofy ceremony or carrying over the threshold. They both just understood that there was no way she would be spending another night at her apartment alone, all without the words actually ever having to be said.

The day Castle gave her a key to the loft, she just looked at him with adoring, intelligent eyes and nodded, slipping it onto her own keyring and pocketing it without word. He found her staring at it later that evening, caressing the cool brass with her fingertip as it lay in the palm of her hand, and he smiled, his heart full to bursting.

They were doing this, and the biggest plot twist of all…? They were actually really good at it.

* * *

He got her to talk to him, made her promise in fact, day or night, when her frustration grew too much, or the taunting nightmares came – Maddox killing her mom; Maddox killing Castle; Castle killing Maddox - the permutations were seemingly endless, and they only lost their intensity and lessened in frequency when she started visiting Dr. Burke twice a week instead of once.

For Castle, getting through this, helping Kate through this, was a labor of love. And it was selfishly all about saving them, helping them, moving them forward through the first serious test of their relationship. Because if he could get them through this…_well_, petty arguments, bouts of flu, an ill-timed, desperate proposal, wedding jitters, moving house, a positive pregnancy test, morning sickness, waters breaking in awkward, public places, labor pains, threats of divorce or castration while in labor, sleepless nights, colicky infants, teething troubles, their baby's first day at school, new best friends, teen break-ups, promotions at work, writer's block, book launches, movie premieres…whatever life was willing to throw at them, whatever gifts and trials, they'd see them all through together.

_Just this step first._

* * *

Another new dawn broke broke over Manhattan, the luxury of time stretching out before them.

"What do you want to do today?" asked Castle, sitting up in bed and hauling Kate onto his chest so that he could talk to her and read the look in her eyes at the same time.

No hiding. Not anymore.

The early morning sun hit her face, gilding her hair, and coating her eyelashes with flecks of gold leaf, warming her skin wherever it caressed her.

Castle watched her silently, his jaw hanging open just a fraction, eyes clouded with an emotion close to awe at this living, breathing goddess draped over him.

Kate stretched her body out on a diagonal across the bed, her chest and arms draped over her partner's torso, her stomach and hips pressing down into the mattress. She rested her chin on her hands and closed her eyes, soaking in the warmth of his skin under her fingers, the fresh scent of lemon-verbena that she loved filling her nostrils. She lay still, trying to feel what she wanted today to be, rather than over-think it, which was what she'd been doing rather a lot during this enforced break from work.

Castle splayed his large hands across her shoulders and smoothed them down over the taught muscles of her back, around the sharp jut of her shoulder blades until he felt her sigh and sink into him even more.

"Kate, you're thinking too much," he chided. "Just say whatever pops into your head."

She laughed, craning her neck to look up at him from under a tumble of bed-tousled hair which she blew away from her face.

"Think of the trouble we'd get into if _you_ operated that way," she scoffed. "With _your_ nine-year old brain…?"

"Yeah, well my forty-something body has a few ideas you might like."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, her interest piqued immediately by the suggestive tone in his voice. "Such as?"

"Come here," he said, lifting her under her arms so that she slithered easily up over his body to meet him in a slow, intense kiss.

Her legs parted around one of his impressively muscled thighs, and she moaned into his mouth as he held her against his chest, fingers stroking the sensitive skin over her ribs, his thumb seeking out the soft, curved weight of her breasts like a brave pioneer.

"I like how you think," she mumbled drunkenly, her mind now hazy with the feel of him and the way he was touching her; so achingly tender, still so new and thrilling.

"Always suspected you only wanted me for my mind, Beckett."

Her giggle was unexpected and he chuckled into her hair, mirroring her mirth as he stroked his hand over the back of her skull, his fingers massaging her scalp until she moaned again, her mouth open against his neck, tongue seeking new ways to please him.

They were being deliberately slow and lazy, languorous, teasing one another towards a lustful mirage, and Kate could feel her body responding in kind; a gradual tightening of need low in her abdomen, a swelling of want that swirled inside of her, heightening sharply when she felt Castle's erection growing ever more present beneath her.

"Your mind," she groaned, reaching her arms up around his neck as she shimmed her hips higher, "is a beautiful thing," she whispered, smiling against his clavicle, tongue skating over the smooth, curved ridge of bone.

She brushed her lips over his jaw and then kissed him deeply, pulsing her tongue in and out of his mouth, sucking with her lips until she heard him release a muffled cry into her mouth, and she released him momentarily to let him calm down a little.

"But your body…" she teased, swallowing hard as she grazed her teeth over his Adam's apple, "…your body leaves me speechless, Richard Castle," she said, using his shoulders to arch up onto her knees before slowly sinking down on top of him, trembling as the hard, thickened length of him slid into her slick, wet heat, and they let out a combined sigh of pleasure.

She felt swollen with desire for him, ripe, and he filled her so completely, only increasing her aching need until she couldn't contain it, tightened so powerfully around him that he dropped his hands from her breasts to her hips to still her movement so that he could get his poor, over-aroused brain under control.

* * *

"Babe, you're gonna…oh shit, Kate." He squeezed his eyes lightly shut, breathing through his nose. "Gonna have to stop that, sweetheart, if you want this to last," he babbled, holding her still above him, fingers pressing into the soft flesh around her hips, his heart beating erratically, too fast, too excited by her.

When her eyes blinked open, he was watching her quietly as she sat astride him, languidly breathing in and out, mindfully resisting the excruciating urge to rock against him, needing to create some friction, until his mind quieted and his raging blood soothed enough for them to continue.

"You okay?" she asked, skimming her lips gently over his, the act of leaning into him tightening her muscles around him anyway, making him hiss in protest.

"Just…_barely_," he grit out, and Kate laughed at him, the tinkling sound making her stomach muscles tremble, her shoulders shake and those fiendish muscles contract around him again in jerky, spasming little tremors.

_So _not helping.

* * *

Castle had had enough of her teasing, so he wrapped his arms around her back and flipped them over as a unit, bodies still sinfully joined, changing their dynamic in an instant. He moved deeper inside her without thought, and Kate writhed beneath him, allowing her own hips to arch up against his body, thighs spreading wider apart, seeking out as much of him as she could get, a breathy sigh escaping her lips.

"Got anymore good ideas for today?" she asked with a smirk, voice raspy and clever, tracing her nail across the curve over his chest as he began to rock into her experimentally, slowly, sliding back out again with a torturous lack of pace just to watch her face tremble with need, her breath stuttering in her chest, until he slid back into her again and she breathed out on a relaxed exhale.

Where he'd suddenly found this self-control Kate wasn't sure, but she'd take it gladly. He could outlast her every time, and that was one contest she more than was happy to lose.

Witnessing her naked, obvious need for him still blew him away. Every. Single. Time. That this amazingly beautiful, clever, funny, strong woman had chosen _him_ over every other man still caused his heart to swell with pride, and made him vow to be the best man he could be for her, to try harder, be smarter.

Because _she_ chose him.

* * *

"Hey, what's going on in that brain of yours?" asked Kate, lightly raking her nails over the smooth curve of his buttocks to make him shiver and draw him back to her.

"Dirty thoughts," he lied, pushing his tongue between her lips as his cock slid deep inside of her again, a long moan erupting between them both.

"Liar," she gasped, arching up into him again with flashing eyes, needing more, and really not caring one bit if he wanted to distract her with _that_ kind of manoeuver.

"This not dirty enough for you, KB?" he asked, circling his hips slowly, their pubic bones grinding together in a deliciously painful arc, while he made his point.

She shut him up altogether when she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and her tongue found his left nipple, sucking it into her mouth, teasing it to a painfully sensitive peak. This new position opened her up to him even more, angling her pelvis higher, and she took full advantage, drawing him in as deep as he could go, gyrating her hips wilfully up against him.

"You just crossed a line," growled Castle, large hands bracketing her ribcage as he gave into the overwhelming urge to just take her as hard as she could bear it.

He unhooked one of her legs from around his waist, positioning her endlessly long limb up over his shoulder, before he pressed her further into the pillows. Kate's other leg tightened around his lower back, drawing her even closer to him, so open and desperate.

* * *

They began to move faster, rocking together, his mouth on her neck, her teeth grazing his shoulder, fingers gripping tightly to hold on. Soft flesh slapped against soft flesh, breaking the calm silence of the bedroom, accompanied by their rapid, ragged breathing, and the odd aroused curse and moan.

"Castle?" Kate moaned breathily, keening with need. "Fuck me?" she begged, the words ghosting over his ear, her chest flushed and burning now, superheated as her arousal wound tighter and tighter.

It was Castle's turn to laugh, and he choked out, "Thought that's what I was doing?" between snatched breaths and powerful thrusts.

"Harder," she demanded, fingers digging into his flesh. "Oh fuck, yes. Like that. Perfect. Just…mmm. Rick, harder."

"Jesus, Kate, you're gorgeous," he moaned, hips bucking frantically into her as he felt himself getting closer, the overwhelming sensation of having this stunningly beautiful woman moving beneath him magnified by the harsh, dirty, turn-on of the words spilling out of her mouth. "I'm so hopelessly in love with you," he confessed, her lips stilling against his skin at the sound of those fabulous words she'd never tire of hearing.

Her sinfully long leg was propped up beside his head, and he smoothed his hand down the back of her calf and thigh, fingers caressing velvety soft skin as he thrust again and again, working them into a frenzy of uncontrolled excitement, higher…and…again, more…rocking deeper…please...yes, and then _oh_…

Kate gripped his shoulders, pulling herself up against his chest to smash her lips against his in a vain effort to smother a yell with his hot, eager mouth.

He couldn't quite get his head around her ability to be so…_flexible_, so much on him and around him all at the same time. It blew his mind, and then he just…_blew_.

* * *

He felt Kate arch into him once more and then stop, quaking, eyes rolling back in her head, her lower lip drawn between her teeth as she rode out her orgasm with a cry of, "Oh God, yes!" and her face contorted into a breathtaking image of agony and ecstasy coalesced.

And then he couldn't stop himself, just the sight of her coming, that unabashed access she gave him to her most vulnerable moments, and he was immediately behind her, spilling into her with a curse of "_Fuck!_" as he came apart, luxuriating in the sensation of perfect, wondrous ecstasy, his body pumping and pumping until he was entirely spent.

It took all of his concentration and every ounce of energy he had left to ease Kate's leg back down off his shoulder to rest gently against the mattress, while they both struggled to recover.

* * *

"That was…" Kate gasped out a laugh, flopping her head back against the pillows, her arms slapping the mattress on either side, a dopey smile gracing her face.

"Agreed," panted Castle, too out of it to find anymore words, his heart still hammering while he collapsed down beside her, a stunned grin on his face.

"Still want to do something today?" she teased, rolling onto her side to watch him recover himself, her fingertips tickling his chest as it rose up and down in time with his frantic heart-rate and erratic breathing, her smile so wide and happy.

"Give me a minute, and I'll _do_ _you _again," he promised, leering at her with a cheeky grin.

Kate laughed, the wonderful burst of sound bubbling free from her chest, and he marveled at it, let it warm his whole body through. Not just the sound, or the amazingly free look on her face; an expression of pure delight that he'd helped to put there. It was her willingness to be in this with him, matching his banter, accepting his sometimes needy demands, making allowances, that brittle, reproving, hard shell that she'd used to keep him at arms length for so long, now gone, dissolved away by his patience and his love.

* * *

When her phone rang on the nightstand seconds later, and she rolled away from him to reach for it, he captured her ankle and held on, dragging her back towards him across the sheets. She rewarded him with a tiny squeal and a fruitless kick. He had her now and there was no way he was ever letting her go.

Her body stilled when she saw the screen.

"It's Gates," she said, her face showing only disappointment that they'd been interrupted.

Not fear or embarrassment at being caught together, no surge of interest in the reason for the call, just frustration that their special time was over…for now…

She sat back against the headboard, wrapping her warm, lithe body around Castle so that they could listen to the call together. Her chin rested on his broad shoulder, her free arm wrapped around his chest, fingers stroking across his cooling skin absentmindedly, completely at ease.

"Detective? I just wanted to let you know that Internal Affairs has ruled the shooting of Cole Maddox a justifiable homicide. You're free to return to active duty."

Castle squeezed her thigh, his thumb sneaking into the secret, soft place behind her knee.

Kate thanked Captain Gates and hung up the call.

Two weeks. They had survived and she had been cleared, Carlo Gaggini now all that lay between her old life and their new one.

La Nuova Vita. Their Always.

_A/N: Photos for 5x04 are out, if you're a sucker for that kind of thing – like me! Looks like it'll be an amazing episode._

_We're nearly at the end of our journey together. I hope you enjoyed another of their 'morning afters'. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I've been amazed by the reception this story has had all the way through. Thank you so much. Liv_


	80. Chapter 80 Live To Fight Another Day

_Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm only borrowing them for the summer. Andrew Marlowe is doing a spectacular job. Way better than I could ever do._

* * *

**And All The Mornings Ever After**

**_Chapter 80 – Live To Fight Another Day_**

_A/N: Sorry this took so long. I finished it in New York, but now I'm on vacation in Florida so the beach kind of got in the way of editing. Enjoy!_

"Castle, what do you think of this one?"

He handed her a mug of coffee, and went to sit on the edge of the bed to enjoy the floorshow, openly leering at her sheer, floral pattern blouse; the olive and khaki colors perfectly complimenting her skin tone.

"Mmm," he growled, "_Sexy!_"

"Sexy? What do you mean by _sexy_?" she snapped, her eyes narrowing as she eyed him suspiciously.

He tilted his head to the side, pretended to consider her question as he examined the see-through shirt even more closely, with her permission apparently, admiring the clear view of her bra that the sheer fabric afforded him.

But…_nope_, epic fail on finding a better adjective.

"I mean…well…_sexy_. Yeah, _sexy_. What's wrong with sexy?" he shrugged, honestly baffled.

"God, Castle. It's my first day back at work," she complained, heading back toward the closet with a huff of frustration. "I'm supposed to look _normal._"

She was antsy. He understood that, expected it even. She felt way behind the eight ball as far as the case was concerned after two weeks away, despite her failed attempts to prize much of any kind of update out of the boys.

They had a meeting with ADA Coutts-Martin at the precinct that morning, so yeah, how she looked today really mattered to her.

"Kate," he said, rising up off the bed to follow her into what was rapidly becoming '_their_' closet.

The winter half of his wardrobe was now in storage in the basement of his building, along with half of her gorgeous coat collection, to make room for the rest of her clothes and the sexiest collection of shoes and boots he was sure he'd ever seen. But, he didn't care. In fact, if he was honest, he loved it. Looking at their clothes hanging together in his closet was a solid reminder of how far they had come. He could lose whole chunks out of his day just rifling through the fragrant, tissue-softness of her dresses and shirts.

So he placed his large hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him, the offending '_sexy_' shirt now dangling from her fingers in a tangle of discarded, diaphanous silk.

"Don't overthink this, hmm?" he counseled, tucking her head beneath his chin as he pulled her up against his chest.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, breathing together, the rise and fall of their chests perfectly in sync, while Castle rubbed her bare back with warm fingers, skipping over her bra strap with each sweep across her spine.

When he pulled away from her, with the soft press of a kiss to her forehead, he turned to his left, lifting a crisp, white shirt off the rail above them, and held it out towards her.

"_This_," he said, letting the brass hook of the padded hanger dangle from the end of his finger, "will look _perfect_ on you. _Everything_ looks perfect on you, Kate. But for today…you should wear this," he said, sincerity spilling warmly from his eyes, all hints of teasing or humor gone.

She took the shirt from him, rising up on her tiptoes to press a grateful kiss to his lips.

"Sorry I'm such a mess today," she said, curling her fingers around the back of his neck, stroking the fine layer of hair and smooth, tan skin. "You're too good to me."

"Hey," he said, snagging her hand as she made to walk away. "You're not a mess, okay?"

When Kate nodded, dropping her eyes from his to the item of clothing in her hands, he added, "But you _can_ make it up to me tonight," with a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Oh, it's like that, is it?" asked Kate, her beautiful smile firmly back in place, eyes twinkling with humor.

"Like what?" asked Castle innocently, taking a step closer to her.

"Bargaining for everything," she replied, holding him at arms length before things got out of hand and she was late on her first day back.

"Hey, I have to sit next to you all day, Kate, _all day_, not looking, not touching, keeping my mouth and my hands to myself. So, if I have to _bargain_ to get you into my bed tonight…" he shrugged, "then bargain I will."

Kate listened to him with amusement that quickly morphed into amazement.

"But you don't…" she said, her voice laced with confusion, eyebrows knitting into a frown. "You don't have to do anything to get me into bed, Castle. You did it already," she explained simply, eyes clear, bleeding honesty. "It's a done deal. So quit working it so hard," she said, fingers tripping lightly over the front of his shirt.

"Are you trying to say," he asked, delight crinkling his eyes at the corners, "that you're a _sure thing_, Detective? That you're _easy_?" he teased, as he tugged on the front of her black dress pants until she collided with his chest, squashing the white shirt between them.

"Wrinkle this and the deal is _off_ the table," she responded dryly, pushing off his cotton-clad chest, and whirling away to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

Castle fist-pumped the air behind her retreating back, knowing that regardless of what she said, it was indeed a done deal – he'd be taking Kate Beckett to bed tonight.

* * *

The bullpen looked exactly the same as when they'd left two weeks ago, and yet subtly different. There were a couple of new posters in the hallway outside the elevator, one advertising opportunities within the NYPD for applicants with certain foreign language capabilities.

Castle tugged on Kate's sleeve as they headed for her desk asking her if she could speak Wolof or Twi, because both languages were included on the list and he'd never even heard of them. He thought they sounded like something they would speak on the planet Kashyyyk, and if anyone could speak something that exotic it would be his partner.

Kate threw him a seductive look over her shoulder.

Lowering her lashes and smirking a little, she said, "Любовь является единственным языком, что мне нужно," the raspy, guttural tone of her Russian accent shooting straight through him, and sparking an instant tightening in his pants.

He stood immobile beside her desk just gaping at her, while she calmly took off her jacket and draped it over the back of her chair, bewitching and completely in control.

"Rick, close your mouth," she said quietly, laughing at his shocked, aroused expression as she calmly opened her top desk drawer and pulled out her black leather folder.

"What _was_ that? Say it again," he begged, still rooted to the spot, vividly remembering how the outline of her black and cream bra had looked against her milky skin that morning before she'd slipped into that fitted white shirt he was currently staring at with unconcealed lust, trying to work the buttons free with the power of his mind alone.

"Love is the only language I need," she whispered with a smile on her lips, her warm breath grazing his ear before she brushed past him en route to the break room for the first coffee of the day.

He trotted after her like an eager puppy, dancing around her to open the door for her, then getting the coffee machine going to save her the trouble.

Kate hip-checked him out of the way when he lined up to pour some sugar-free vanilla syrup into her cup. Catching him by the wrist she said, "Done deal, remember? Stop trying so hard. Go catch up with the boys," she added, giving him a soft look and a nudge towards the door to stop him hovering.

* * *

Captain Gates appeared in the break room doorway just as Castle was leaving, her timing impeccable as usual. Castle threw Kate an apologetic look over his shoulder, but she nodded for him to keep walking and leave her alone with her boss.

"Welcome back, Detective," said Gates, crossing her arms over her chest after flicking the kettle on to boil for a cup of green tea.

"Thank you, Sir," replied Kate, tidying up the spillage Castle had left on the countertop.

"I trust you are well rested and raring to go?" she asked, her hands migrating to her hips.

"Yes, Sir. I understand the case is progressing well?" she asked, trying to display a level of knowledge that she knew Gates would expect from her, despite knowing far less than she'd like.

"Your sources are reliable. I'll say that," she added, obliquely, with that trademark purse of her lips. "Your team has made good progress in your absence, working alongside ADA Coutts-Martin. You should be proud, Beckett. They are a fiercely loyal, diligent, little group."

"Thank you. That's good to hear," replied Kate, nodding thoughtfully at her Captain.

"If a little unorthodox at times," added Gates, always needing to have the last word, her compliments forever tempered for fear the praise would go to her team's heads.

* * *

By the time the two women exited the break room, the aforementioned ADA had arrived for their meeting. To Kate's extreme annoyance, she was currently lounging in the detective's very _own_ chair, at _Kate's_ desk, her long legs crossed, one shiny red stiletto dangling from her foot as she regaled the boys with tales of a weekend trip to Fire Island with her gay best friend, Rob.

Castle was standing frozen nearby, a petrified look on his face, firsts clenched by his sides as if he wasn't sure what to do with his hands or if they could even be trusted. Because, frankly, he knew that he'd be the one to get the blame for the seat stealing incident despite being just an innocent by-stander.

"_Melissa_," said Kate warmly, her voice heavily laced with faux bonhomie.

"_Detective._ You're back with us. That explains a lot. I _was_ surprised to see you'd let your handsome side-kick out on his own," she laughed, jerking her head towards the spot where Castle was still hovering with a guilty look on his face that said, '_I never laid a finger on her, honest'_.

"So, I hear the case is going well," said Kate, sidestepping the young woman's catty remark about her partner.

"Why don't we all retire to the conference room and I'll explain just how well," she suggested, rising up off Kate's chair in one fluid movement that involved the uncrossing of her legs and an arching of her spine that thrust her breasts skyward in fractions of a second.

Esposito looked like he was about to lose his breakfast, while Ryan was steadfastly staring at his computer screen, the little flicking motion he was making with his eyes totally giving him away. This woman had them both wrapped around her little finger.

Melissa smoothed her black pencil skirt down over her hips, picked up her briefcase and sashayed off to the conference room with Esposito hot on her heels, dogging her every step like the lost cause he was.

"Did you _see_ that?" Kate hissed at her partner, nudging Castle in the ribs.

"See what?" he asked, trying to play dumb, his coffee cup raised to his lips, deliberately shielding his mouth.

"She took my _chair_, Castle," Kate protested. "And now she's _stealing_ Lanie's _boyfriend_."

"Don't think that charge would hold up in court," said Castle, watching Esposito swoop around the ADA to open the door for her, an eager, cheesy grin on his face. "Not a hint of unlawful control going on there. In fact, I'd say he looks more than willing."

"He is in _so much trouble_," muttered Kate, grabbing her folder and following them across the bullpen.

Ryan looked at Castle and shrugged.

"Wouldn't wanna be in his shoes when Lanie finds out," said Castle.

"You think Beckett will tell her?" asked Ryan.

"_Totally,_" said Castle, gleefully. "He's a dead man."

* * *

Melissa Coutts-Martin walked towards the head of the table, only shifting one seat over when Captain Gates asserted her authority with one of her steely glares, taking up the prime spot herself.

"So," began Gates, taking control of the meeting, "we're here to bring Detective Beckett and Mr. Castle up to speed on the Gaggini case, since one or two important developments have come to light in your absence."

Kate looked at Ryan and Esposito, who were both seated on the opposite side of the table from her and Castle, sneaky little self-satisfied looks on their faces. There was obviously something they hadn't told her, and depending on what that something was, she was quite possibly going to kill them.

"Gaggini pled to the first degree murder of Bonino Lucese, right? We got him on that, fair and square. No way he could deny it with all the evidence we had," said Kate in one breathless rush, her voice a little higher pitched and shriller than normal.

She scanned the faces sat around the table in front her, looking from one to the other, her heart beating erratically, because if this guy got off after everything…

Castle sat still beside her, the quiet sound of his even breaths calming her, tethering her to the moment.

"Tell me he at least copped to vehicular homicide?" she added, when no one replied immediately.

"Oh, we did one better than that, Detective," purred the ADA from off to her left, drawing Kate's attention back towards the head of the table as she opened a file in front of her and drew out some papers.

"_Well?_" asked Kate, her eyes drawn to the printed pages in front of Melissa, determined not to beg or even ask what they contained, utterly frustrated by this drawn out version of show and tell that seemed to be _all_ show and no tell right now.

"When we searched his place," began Esposito, snagging her attention, "we found some interesting stuff we weren't expecting."

"Such as?"

"Well, it was Ryan really," said Esposito, making a great show of giving the credit to his partner.

"_What_ was Ryan? Come on guys, you're _killing me_ here," muttered Kate, her frustration bubbling over as she lost her cool.

"He found the uh…"

"I found the files hidden under his floor…in the…eh…_sauna_," said Ryan, flicking his eyes up to meet Kate's.

"He had a…why does that not surprise me?" said Kate, shaking her head.

"And he hid files in there? Isn't a sauna a little…_damp_ for keeping paperwork?" asked Castle, getting a long look from Kate that told him he should just shut his mouth right now.

"Just what were you doing searching the sauna anyway?" asked Kate, rounding on Ryan.

He blushed, bright pink from his neck to the tips of his pale, Irish ears.

Everyone seemed to be waiting on an answer though, so he sighed loudly and muttered, "I wanted to get a picture for Jenny. That place was just so over-the-top crass, so…_gross_, and I knew she wouldn't believe me when I told her, so I…" he flicked his eyes to Gates and then back to Kate, looking for a way out of this.

"_So you_…?" prompted Kate, a little evilly, her eyebrows raised for him to continue.

"I snuck in to take some pictures on my phone," he confessed. "But then my boot hit this loose panel in the floor and…" he shrugged, dropping his head down in shame.

"So, Gaggini had files hidden under the floor of his sauna…? _Cool_," said Castle, nodding, his eyes lighting up with childish delight.

Kate glanced at him again, her lips tightly pressed together at his off-point comment.

"And are you going to get to the part where you tell me what was _in_ these files?" she asked archly. "Or am I just supposed to start guessing?"

Captain Gates took over at this point since no one else was rushing to.

"It seems he kept records. Substantial, deeply detailed records, of every deal and every bribe, every rotten twist of the amoral knife that he shoved between the ribs of Manhattan's legal and political communities. We got his contacts in the FDA, and it saddens me to say it, but there was a good number of cops listed in there too."

Kate sat quietly while the Captain continued.

"He maintained two sets of books for Draco, the Private Equity vehicle he had Mason front for him – the set the SEC got to see, and the set that showed they bought and sold businesses at a loss just so they could have access to their research facilities, thus defrauding Draco's investors out of substantial profits."

"What about the judiciary?" asked Kate, a hopeful, tender eagerness written all over her face.

"That's the best and yet the trickiest part. He had three judges in his pocket, on retainer actually, standing by to '_fix'_ things should any of his people get into trouble."

"But how'd he guarantee that their cases would wind-up before one of _his_ three judges?"

"He couldn't. Didn't have to. Most often he'd get cases pled out, work out a deal with a bent ADA to drop the charges or cop to a misdemeanor. Failing that he'd simply get one of '_his_ _judges'_ to do him a little favor. Get his honor, whoever was supposed to be sitting, to recuse themselves, claim conflict of interest or whatever for a backhander. Seems they do it all the time to manage their workloads, vacation time, whatever…this just allowed them to side-step anything that might prove…_messy_ when reelection time rolled around."

"But this is huge. _Massive_," said Kate, her heart beating fast as her mind ran away with the potential for a political shit storm.

* * *

She was still trying to take it all in when Captain Gates broke the silence.

"I'm afraid we couldn't find anything on your mother's murder, Kate," said the Captain, drawing Kate's gaze back to her, the words like the stinging grit of salt in an open wound. "In his files…hits are the one thing the mafia seem reluctant to record," she said, with her trademark dry sense of humor. "Can't think why."

Kate nodded, disappointment momentarily swamping her, visibly deflating her, tying a bowline tight around her throat.

"I see. Well, we never really…I mean we hoped, right? But…"

She felt Castle's hand come to rest on her thigh under the table as she floundered, a touch of comfort to anchor her, let her know he felt her pain while her colleagues watched her battle this disappointment. Because he _did_ feel her pain. Four years of chasing this down alongside her, and he loved her so much, wanted to give her everything. He just seemed unable to give her this.

"We'll keep trying, of course," said Gates, snapping her out of her slide into gloom.

Kate let out a hollow little laugh. "Yeah, sure," she croaked, trying to get a control over her emotions. "Live to fight another day, right?" she said, giving everyone a watery smile.

There were choruses of '_Hell yeah'_ and '_You got it, Beckett'_ from around the table, and then she smiled genuinely for the love and support on offer in that room, the countless times these men had put their lives on the line and their relationships under strain just to try to get justice for her mom.

"So," said Kate, dropping her hand to rest over her partner's on top of her thigh and giving it a squeeze of reassurance. "Let's nail him on what we _have_ got. By the look of what you do have, he's going nowhere for the rest of his life. So we have time on our side. The fat lady's just warming up."

* * *

Castle caught her outside the ladies restroom ten minutes later, pinned her to the wall with one had either side of her waist and the width of his stance.

"You were amazing in there. I'm so proud of you," spilled from his lips, just as concern for her swam in his eyes.

"Couldn't do any of this without you, Castle. You're giving me way too much credit."

"Partners," he said, holding out his closed fingers for her to 'feed the birds', the concern draining away, morphing into a shared, goofy smile. Because she really did seem okay with this result.

"Partners," nodded Kate, tapping her fingers against his and then resting her hands on his forearms.

"We _will_ get him you know," he promised needlessly.

"Rick, we already got him. He's going to die in jail. It's time we move on. Let this go."

She was looking at him with such compassion and understanding in her eyes, so calm and dignified that it stole the air right out of his lungs.

"You really mean that?" he asked, not so much disbelieving as surprised.

"Never meant anything more. We're finally meeting out justice against the man who ordered my mom's murder, Castle. So the charges won't detail those actual specifics," she shrugged. "This guy has been free to do whatever he wanted _for years_; to wreck lives, steal from innocent investors, corrupt officials in this city and spread his poison, and _we_ are the ones who finally stopped him. _We_ get to hold him to account, Castle. I'd say that's a result, wouldn't you?"

When Castle nodded solemnly, a playfulness entered Kate's eyes; a wonderful light that drew him back to the surface.

"_So_…I seem to recall you promising me a trip out to the Hamptons, Mr. Castle. I've been waiting two long years to take you up on your offer. Your ex-wife is out of the picture, your daughter has gone off to college. No more stalling my man. It's time," she whispered in his ear, and he had no recollection of her ever getting this close at work before.

"How much vacation time do you have saved? Think Gates would give us a week?" he asked eagerly, all sorts of plans for her already forming in that crazy, romantic brain of his.

"Why don't I ask her? The boys and Missy seem to have this thing pretty much sewn up, everything seems under control. Would be nice to flee the city, just the two of us," said Kate, walking her fingers up the placket of his shirt from button to button, a teasing sparkle to her eyes.

"Get to know you better?" added Castle, with a smirk.

"Oh yeah," moaned Kate, ghosting his ear with her lips. "So many layers to the Beckett onion you've still got to reveal."

"Like that thing you do with ice cubes?" he asked, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"Yes, there is _that_, and your house has a hot tub, right?" she asked, slipping her finger in between two of his shirt buttons to stroke the soft, bare skin below his breastbone.

"Mmm-hmm. Hot tub, of course. What do you…?"

Kate's lips smothered the question, her tongue robbing him of the rest of the thought, and then she ducked, spun out of his arms, and before he knew what was happening she was already halfway to Gates' office with the vacation request on the tip of her tongue.

* * *

They got news as they were tidying up for the night that Senator Randall Stinson had been found dead in his apartment. First responders on scene said it looked like a suicide - top of his head blown off with his own Browning hunting rifle, though a note had yet to be found. Karpowski and Valasquez caught the case just as they clocked on for the nightshift. Kate warned them to look for signs that the suicide had been staged. The Senator had been a sitting target since the day he'd met with them and shared Michael Mason's terrible secrets. Another casualty in this long drawn out war that seemed to have no end - a beast with an insatiable appetite for evil, corruption, and retribution.

But they would live to fight another day, just like Kate had said. She would make sure of it.

* * *

After throwing her jacket on, Kate grabbed her purse from her bottom drawer, and then turned to look for her partner.

She found Castle over by the water cooler regaling Ryan and Esposito with a story about a baseball game Kate had dragged him to when she was still on suspension. He swore he'd almost caught a foul ball at Yankee Stadium when Kate had conveniently gone to get them popcorn, nudged out of the way at the last moment by a train driver from Pigtown, Baltimore, wearing an orange Orioles hoodie. Chants of 'Home Depot' had been ceaselessly aimed at the unfortunate guy all night until he pulled a Matt Wieters in the bottom of the sixth and caught the aforementioned foul ball, knocking Castle to the ground in the process. From then on he was everyone's best pal, Castle aside, whose bruised ego Kate had spent the rest of the game repairing.

Kate listened for a moment from the sidelines, out of Castle's line of vision, just watching her boyfriend entertain their friends with his dramatic, embellished tale, an almost overwhelming wave of love for him and his childlike enthusiasm suddenly threatening to overwhelm her. He was a beautiful sight to behold - a strong, generous, masculine man, with such a soft heart. A heart he had taken to freely exposing to her over these last few wonderful weeks together.

When Ryan spotted her watching them, she rolled her eyes at how embroidered his story had become. She shook her head behind his back so that the boys could see he was making at least half of it up. But as she continued to observe him interact with the detectives, how close a little family they had all become, she found her sentimental side coming out again, her love for her partner always such a sudden and powerful thing, catching her off-guard as it had continued to do since the night she made the best decision of her life, and showed up at his door determined to give them a shot.

* * *

When he turned to find her watching him, finally sensing her presence, he looked like a little boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. But Kate just gave him her most beautiful smile and held out her hand to him.

"You coming, Castle?" she asked, waiting for him to respond.

He dashed to her side, grasping the hand she offered enthusiastically, nodded inanely at her; so clearly besotted it made her heart flip.

"Then I think it's time we go inspect my bikini collection, don't you? Because we have some packing to do," she whispered, her lips pressed together to contain her delight as he bounced by her side all the way to the elevator.

"Gates said yes?" he asked, tugging her round to face him.

"Turns out she's a fan after all. I got us a week, starting tomorrow. So let's make every second count."

"No arguments from me on that one."

"Thought you might say that," she beamed.

* * *

The doors slid closed on the homicide floor, their achievements not left behind, so much as carried with her, surrounding them; all that they meant to one another now, all that they had become, formed in and around that dreadful, costly case.

Kate brushed the side of Castle's hand with her pinkie and then allowed him to take hers in his as they descended towards the lobby.

"It's time to start our happy ever after, Castle," she said, suddenly filled to the brim with optimism for the man by her side.

"Happy ever after with you sounds..._amazing_, Kate," he agreed, squeezing her fingers.

"It's how all the best stories end, right?" she said, turning to look up at him, her eyes soft and glowing even in the harsh light of the elevator car, the warm blush blooming on her cheeks only adding to her beauty.

"Only our story is just beginning. So I say we turn convention on it's head, start with happy ever after and take it from there. What do you say, partner?" he asked, tugging on her hand as the doors opened, the couple walking shoulder-to-shoulder, out into the Precinct's bustling lobby.

"Well, we never did do anything the conventional way," Kate conceded.

"Conventional is overrated. Conventional is _boring_, Beckett," he declared dramatically. "Let's not start now. _So_...once upon a time, they both lived happily ever after, and then...dot dot dot?" he suggested, pushing open the glass doors that led to the street, ushering Kate out ahead of him.

Kate could only nod and agree, her chest tight with a swell of emotion and the fast, excited beat of her heart for all that lay ahead for them.

The time had come to honor her mother in a new way. No longer with her singleminded, ardent quest for justice, but with the rest of her life. And she intended to start right here. She was moving on, but she was moving on with her soulmate by her side, every step of the way.

* * *

A/N: And so we come to the end of this tale. I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did. Your reviews and PMs have kept me going over the last five months of writing. So a big thank you from me. I thoroughly enjoyed your company. This chapter was written in New York, which is a fitting end, I think.

I've already started tinkering with an epilogue to cover their trip to the Hamptons, so keep an eye out if you're interested in reading that.

Until we meet again, best wishes to all. Liv x


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